The Bowery Presents
we're not kids anymore.
#extradirty
almost home
Show & Tell
wallacepolsom
art blog(derogatory)
NASA
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
YOU ARE THE REASON
Fai_Ryy
The Stonewall Inn
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Product Placement
roma★
Keni
Discoholic 🪩
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RMH
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@effusiveturtle
Orgasmic getaway sex toy giveaway — $1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes!
Embark on a pleasure vacation 🌴🌊 with the largest sex toy giveaway I’ve ever done, featuring 80+ prizes and a grand prize package worth over $1,500!
Get away from it all — with orgasms. 🍹
Enter now!
Giveaway ends 11/5.
GIVEAWAY: sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse
Fight your existential dread with orgasms. Enter to win one of 10 sex toy survival kits to get you through this dystopian nightmare, each worth $400+!
Every kit is stocked with 4-5 outstanding items: legendary vibrators, hand-poured dildos, perfect butt plugs, thrusting toys, porn, my favorite lube, and more. These highly-curated kits contain only toys I know and love, and most are available to my international readers!
Giveaway ends 10/30. Enter to win on my blog — and don’t forget to pack your bug-out bag for extra entries!
Dildo carnival: a HUGE sex toy giveaway!
Step right up: I’m throwing a DILDO CARNIVAL! 🎪 Forget lousy stuffed animal prizes; this huge giveaway is the biggest of the year, featuring over 60 sex toys plus all kinds of fun attractions.
I’m giving away the best sex toys on earth – everything from vibrators to dildos to butt stuff to penis toys to harnesses to gender products to porn and gift cards! Most prizes are available to international folks as well.
This year, in addition to the usual giveaway widget, I’ll be running an array of mini giveaways on social media! These attractions will be unveiled as the giveaway goes on, so keep your eyes peeled!
Enter now!
Sex toy giveaway: rock your G-spot!
Just a few months ago, I crowned Fun Factory’s Stronic G pulsator the best sex toy of 2017. Its automated back-and-forth thrusting motion and perfectly-hooked tip are a G-spotting dream. Now, I’M GIVING A BUNCH AWAY FOR FREE! Eight, in fact, thanks to the generosity of Fun Factory!
So, how can you win this self-thrusting wonder? Find out on my blog!
Giveaway ends 5/15.
Win $100 in t-shirts
Win shirts from Aplentee, or Amazon vouchers
Win $100 of t-shirt - or Amazon - vouchers!
Win $100 worth of t-shirt vouchers!
I really hope I win! I could use some shirts that don't have holes lol
Win $100 of t-shirt - or Amazon - vouchers!
Win some awesome shirts!!!
I'd REALLY love to win this because I don't win anything, and their shirts are awesome!
Win $100 of t-shirt - or Amazon - vouchers!
#sextoysforall #noshame #letstalkaboutsex
My mission: put my favorite sex toys in the hands of people who deserve them. The result: this HUGE giveaway, the largest I’ve ever run with over 50 different sex toy prizes! 😍
Peeps, I’ve got everything here from vibrators to dildos to butt stuff to penis toys to harnesses and BDSM implements, plus gift cards for the indecisive and a slew of “winner’s choice” prizes, where you can win any sex toy you desire from the catalogs of various companies.
Classic favorites of mine such as the Pure Wand, Magic Wand Rechargeable, and Mona 2 are up for grabs, but there’s also a ton of new stuff, such as the Doxy Die Cast and Womanizer Pro. Most of these prizes are valued at or over $100, and more than half are available to international folks!
Enter to win the sex toy of your dreams now!
I never win anything, so maybe, just maybe... 😎
Win t-shirts!!
Aplentee gives you tons of ways to enter this competition to win t-shirts (or Amazon vouchers). Fingers crossed, I need some new shirts.
Win $100 of t-shirt vouchers!
Ex sex
I’ve come to realize that ex sex is pretty amazing. For me, anyway. We know each others’ bodies and likes very intimately so it’s comfortable right off the bat, but there’s that casual element to it.
My ex, despite me being the only woman he’s been with (up until recently I believe; I have a pretty good feeling that he’s fucked someone else in the last week), is an amazing lover. He’s attentive, takes good direction, and aims to please. There have been many times in our years together (and since we started having casual sex) that I didn’t get off but was fine with it because I had fun; he would often take that personally and see it as a sign of failure on his part, no matter what I said.
We’ve had a lot of sex in the 9 years we’ve known each other. We’ve had slow romantic “making love” type sex, rough sex, group sex (sorta kinda... that will have to be explained in a later blog entry), public sex, desperate sex, you name it. We love pleasing each other and getting each other off. Giving him blowjobs gets me so wet that I don’t even need any foreplay from him.
The last time we had sex wasn’t that long ago. We fucked pretty vigorously for about an hour or so, getting really sweaty and almost animalistic about it (we both tend to do a growling type noise when we’re having rough sex). I love when he tosses me around on the bed into whatever position he wants me in. I’m such an assertive, take charge person every day, that sexually I tend to be more submissive and want someone else to take control. When he came, I hadn’t yet so he rested up a bit then helped me out. He did this thing I asked him to do, that he’d never done before... he put his fingers in my cunt and just left them still while I played with my clit. It was absolute heaven. It was tortuous and pleasurable and wonderful. I WANTED him to move his fingers at times, to fuck me with them, but not knowing if he would or not was so hot. Sometimes his fingers seemed to move on accident, like if he shifted a little or that sort of thing. Not knowing when that would happen and suddenly it did, was absolutely amazing. I came SO HARD. Just thinking about it now is making me horny.
Unfortunately, around this time I not only found out he’s dating again, but likely fucked someone else. Yes, I get that that shouldn’t matter since we’re separated and blah blah blah. But it does. Because in my mind, he’s mine. He’s not of course, but that’s just how I feel. I’ve always gotten off on the thought of him fucking someone else, but this feels very different. Probably because I’m excluded from watching or even knowing for sure about it. The reason I’m pretty sure about it is because I gave him a blowjob and he came, but then said he was too tired to help me cum afterwards. He said he owed me, and all throughout the week he echoed that sentiment. So, when I next saw him a couple days ago, I basically said I wanted to get my “payment” and he talked about how he wasn’t obligated to “do that” with me (our son was right there).
Talk about a kick in the fucking vagina.
My first entry
This isn’t my first blog, but my first entry in this blog.
Why “effusive turtle”? Well, I talk too damn much when I’m nervous. Sometimes even when I’m not nervous, I’m too verbose. Also, I’m introverted. It’s been said that I retreat into my “shell” at times.
Why did I make this blog? To talk about life. About the shit I’m going through, the shit I’m trying to accomplish, and just shit in general.
Life right now is difficult as fuck. The hardest part about it is that I’m separated from the person I love with all my heart. The man that I married, that I saw myself spending the rest of my life with. I’m a very realistic person, but seriously you guys... I couldn’t picture my life without him. Even with us separated, I STILL can’t, probably because we have a 3 year old son together.
So I want to talk about my relationship with my soon to be ex husband. I took it for granted. I took HIM for granted. He loved me more than anyone ever has. He used to do the sweetest things for me- write me poems, bring me flowers, listen to my rants, and constantly call me beautiful or gorgeous despite my rebuffs.
Motherfucker. I’m crying now.
I fucked it all up. I took this wonderful man for granted and now I’m paying the price. I need to come to terms with that. He loved me dearly, but he just couldn’t deal with my bullshit anymore. It’s a wonder that he put up with it for almost 9 years. I need to admit this to myself, right now... I was abusive. Mainly emotionally and verbally, but there were a few times where I hit him or threw something at him. That’s fucked up, right? I haven’t even admitted that to my therapist. I was a manipulative cunt sometimes. Why? I don’t fucking know. I don’t know anything. I don’t know why I am this way. All I know is I don’t want to repeat this shit with anyone else. No one deserves to go through that.
My ex is dating again. When I found that out, it was like someone stabbed me in the heart with a rusty pitchfork. Over and over. I’m not surprised, but FUCK ME it hurts. We’ve been separated for about 3 months. It seems a little soon to me but to be fair, he’s probably been ready to pursue someone who isn’t a horrible human being for a while now. I guess I should be happy for him, but I’m just heartbroken and wishing I could change everything.
Hopefully this blog will prove to be cathartic for me because there have been too many times over the last few months that I’ve completely lost my shit, a few of those times in front of him or on the phone with him. I NEED TO GET MY FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER!!!!!
One day at a time. One blog entry at a time.
Most people who touch the Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable to their genitals will have an orgasm. Therefore, this is not just a vibrator giveaway, but an ORGASM GIVEAWAY. Five lucky winners will get orgasms delivered straight to their doors!
Enter to win a Magic Wand Rechargeable on Hey Epiphora here!
