hello, ♡ i go by vayne (they / them). here i present ikeda kojirō (bullet train) — a twenty-four-year-old aspirant vocalist treading the ever-beaten path of existential monotony in hopes of finding something more for himself in the end. beneath the cut, i've divvied up his character information by bullet point and category, in hopes of keeping it concise and digestible. if you'd like to interact with me, i'm available here through tumblr ims; just let me know. thanks for your time!
BIOGRAPHICAL:
born in mugunghwa. moved to busan following his dad's promotion to manager at a hotel around the time the town's economy started to plummet. his parents divorce when he's six or seven. mom chooses to return to picturesque mugunghwa. "rewriting our memories," she said
two moves so early on disrupt the growth of his social skills, making kojirō an introverted child reluctant to branch out because he wasn’t sure when he’d have to move again. waiting last in line, defecting to the back row, keeping conversations minimized with answers equally as short. all traits he still keeps
gets into music the same way most people get into music: he likes how it sounds. he values the sense of escape. of flooding the world out to a muted backdrop. being alone but not lonely. sometime amidst all that he discovers he can sing. actually, it’s more like his mom overhears him. she encourages him and even surprises him with his first guitar on christmas day
adolescence is a short but long and disillusioning blur, calcifying in the way it usually is. he doesn't like the feeling of being alone anymore. starts to blame the earlier moves on why he’s struggled to make friends and continues to struggle to make friends now. blames his mother for the earlier moves even being necessary. after all, if she hadn’t cheated on his dad, their family would still be together and they wouldn’t have had to move in the first place. thinking he’s right and affording her no empathy in comes a very catastrophic argument where he tells her how much he hates her and how much she's failed him as a mom. she's still there for him. a mother's love
he decides to start working so he can move out. first is his job as a bartender [as soon as it was legal]. he likes it a lot, eager to meet new people, eager to do something that felt “different”. it’s easy to secure his spot at the hotel too as he can use his dad as a reference. his second job as a line cook isn’t nearly as fulfilling but the pay’s way more consistent because he gets more days. eventually he’s saved up enough for a ragtag studio apartment not too far from what he’s really been eyeing: mugunghwa university
he’s never lost his passion for music despite everything with his mom. if anything, his experiences only strengthen it. plus, it feels like a good way to honor the memory of her. not that she’s died or anything, he had just spent so long blaming her for his inhibitions that it feels impossible to tell her he was wrong. he likes to tell himself she doesn’t deserve the apology anyway but he knows she does. dad told him on his 20th birthday that mom didn’t actually cheat and that he had just said that to get him to hate her. he figures his relationship with mom's been left in shambles for so long, there's no use in making amends. plus dad already apologized in the form of covering his tuition so naturally he should just never speak to her again...?
NOW:
happily enjoys teetering whatever intersection exists between not being popular but also not being a complete outcast. he enforces his jurisdiction with a little cantankerousness a lot of laughing under his breath at other people and voicing his opinions but knowing when to not be a complete asshole
will never apologize to his mom because now he can just recycle the accountability and guilt through his mind like a big slab of granite just weighing him down. this way if he ever catches himself being too happy he can recall the memory of treating her badly alongside their present-day relationship and sober up quickly
longer way of saying he struggles with taking responsibility and with being clear about the things that actually matter. it’s like everything’s made him angry but he’s compressed it all into hot coals and he’s carrying them all with his bare hands but because he’s been carrying them for so long he can’t feel that it’s burning anymore but if he looks down he will see something horrific
so look down he will, of course. but only when he’s alone and only when he can effectively romanticize it through music, otherwise the view is impossible to stomach because he knows he is very much a bleeding heart behind all the internal gymnastics and the façades
despite all this he makes the bartending job work to his advantage. as charismatic as ever when he's behind the counter and a conversationalist the likes of which you have never seen. money acquirer. it's a charm he keeps in his day to day interactions honestly it's just frayed at the edges with the shadow of something heavy that's ambiguous and indiscernible and dispelled therapeutically through being crass and attitude-y
edit: HE'S A MUSIC MAJOR. and he's in the paranormal investigative club i completely forgot to say all of that i am so sorry
i prefer brainstorming alongside each other since i think my ability to form open-ended plots is very lackluster lol 😖 i'm available here on tumblr if you'd like to plot together thank you and happy new year!!!!














