The Truth Confuses Me

"Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted." John Lennon.

[efi--l]

[efi--l]

One of those days lol

[twerklina]

[efi--l]

Ceebs. I need to pack. first time in my 29 years life im moving and it's so stressful. instead I took a fat sad nap.

[troutreznor]

a day used to be 24hrs and cost $5 but nowadays a day only lasts 5hrs and they charge ya $20 just to live it. and you have to pay with an app

[efi--l]

yest it cost me $80.50 to go out for 1.5 hrs. i can't afford this inflation anymore lol

[thcartierrug]

@sophiemilner_fs

[funeral]

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment

[vi0lent-smile]

The amount of anger inside me is wild for someone who only wants to give and receive love

[efi--l]

Sad naps all the way

[efi--l]

[efi--l]

Daily dose of sunshine episode 8.

I cried yesterday and I cried today. My coworkers have noticed my shopping habits and said I must be rich and don't have to worry about rent or money or anything at all. I got defensive. I got upset. I shouldn't need to explain myself. They don't know that I couldn't buy anything when I was growing up. I had to skip meals at school or dinner because we didn't have food. As soon as I got any spare money I would spend it now because I can finally nurture my childhood. I can finally buy things I couldn't. It helps me de-stress. it helps distract what I'm feeling right now. it's a little endorphin I get because I can't afford anything bigger. anything more. I can't buy myself or my family a house to live in. and the only control in my life right now is buying useless tangible STUFF to make me feel better. happier. whatever to survive this fleeting feeling I have. I'm so embarrassed about having to tell them this. WHY DO I HAVE TO TELL THEM THIS. that my mum is a single mum? that I grew up with Centrelink anD my dad passed away and she has to look after us by herself and now I'm the breadwinner for the family and I just want to spend money, my OWN MONEY. I don't want to. I want to save too but I want to be like everyone else and enjoy my 20s. we are still renting. I know Im spending out of my means. ANYTHING MORE? anything elseeeee>. I just want to do something that makes me happy. but I'm not even happy right tnow.I don't want to work. I don't want to go back to work. I'm just tired. my soul is tired. my body is tired. I do 9+ hours each work day. I did 15 hours on Thursday. they mock me. they laugh. they say I have no worries. I have plenty but I choose to ignore it. is that bad? is it really that bad of me. if youre not gonna help me then leave me alone.

[efi--l]

showing emotions got me feeling awful. voicing it made me feel awful. making it too real. feeling it all on my own out loud. no reciprocation. not the outcome i wanted. ill try to hide it now. it hurts. it hurts. it hurts. it’s a new workplace? how come it sucks. it’s a functioning family? how come it sucks. it’s a progressive relationship? how come it sucks. im seen but not heard. i feel lonely. in my sucky-ass feelings. 

[destroymylife]

[lamignonette]

[efi--l]

Our beloved summer episode 6 hits close to heart. Yeon-su is me.

[efi--l]

I'm watching, 'when the weather is fine' and it makes me want to move to the countryside... open up a bookstore... and live a slow tranquil life.

Although... I don't really read books... I wouldnt know what to recommend or tell what's the book about... Hahaha :(

[lewerta]

twilight flow

by Nicholas Steinberg