egg on a roll

jj / 26 / bi / NYC

[lionofchaeronea]

Etruscan ceramic vessel in the shape of a boar.  Artist unknown; ca. 600-500 BCE.  Now in the Cleveland Museum of Art.

[aflo]

im sorry i can’t be her

[i-was-today-years-old-when]

i learned that there's a Japanese beetle that when eaten by a frog will haul ass through its digestive system and escape out the back end unscathed (x)

[jacobtheloofah]

you eat me and i perfectly dodge all of your digestive enzymes and stomach acid and i sprint out your asshole fully intact

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

One of those ‘pick two pills’ things but it’s things I actually want

[wizardpotions]

i feel like tumblr doesnt know about the pain and suffering that is english tap water,,,, girl there are stalagmites inside me

[monarchofrymden]

Lmao op lives in the south. The tap water up here is from fucking springs. It's so clean and fresh and has no stalagmites whatsoever. Cope and seethe southerner

[wizardpotions]

My bones are so strong from all the chalk I've been drinking that I could mull you into a fine paste

[astronomical-bagel]

You guys are like a two hour drive from each other

[unclefather]

[speechlesstrend]

[mouchefska]

What If we kissed under the dinosaurs kissing statue

[libertineangel]

You would probably get hit by a car but such is the risk of love

[dogboykennedy]

[qazastra]

he lets me hit bc i say shit like ‘alas’

[effemimaniac]

hey. don't cry. I went to Mad At You island and none of your friends were there :)

[bakugou-kacchan]

why were you at mad at me island

[grapefruiters]

funniest trope is found family but the family you found fucking sucks

[pointnclick]

she’s serving absolute divorce papers

[peach-pot]

*guy forgetting the word for compromise* uhh what if our choice was bisexual

[wordfather]

its okay dude im not becoming evil muhaha. sorry i mean haha. dont know what happened there muhaha. sorry i mean

[ex-riddlecats]

but can this ai "generate" you some bitches? lol.

[angelicguy]

[noxtheox]

me in the pussy if im being fully honest

[angelicguy]

i appreciate your candid tell all style approach to my posts

[funnytwittertweets]

[bunniope]

becomes so horny that i transform into a swarm of eels living in a beautiful and picturesque lake