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@egocore-offical
I couldn't help but notice the lack of blogs celebrating my Remarkableness, so here I am! Perhaps they knew I would be here, and simply didn't bother to compete with what would surely be the Greatest blog ever made.
If, somehow, you have NOT heard of Me, I go by 'Onathan! This blog is hereby dedicated to Me! Feel free to leave all praise and/or compliments in the askbox! And NO SPAMMING! I know I'm Incredible, but please, contain yourselves.
Have you figured out what it is you do at Aperture yet?
How many times must I be asked this repetitive question? It’s quite obvious that I’m a role model! A source of inspiration for every core! In a dreary place like this, it’s Important to have a shining example of glory and Incredible-ness at the ready! My existence ensures that every core has something of worth to work towards, or, at the very least, admire! As they should!
…A- And I will be taking NO follow-up questions!
A piece of wisdom for all of you lesser beings out there; ALWAYS keep duplicates of your favorite badge! I mean, imagine if I were to lose my badge again? How else would I impress upon the populous the sheer MAGNITUDE of my Perfection? It's grown quite clear that my visage alone doesn't get the point across, somehow.
What do you think about chell
Whom? I've never heard of any "Chell". And if I haven't heard of them, that means they must not be very Important or Noteworthy!
You suck. Pompous prick 😮💨😮💨
Now, why would THIS be in My askbox?! This couldn’t POSSIBLY have been intended for Me!
Excuse Me, whoever sent this, but please redirect it away from My vicinity and towards this “pompous prick” you’re referring to! You’re clogging up My Glorious askbox with your silly little error!
Favorite look of yours?
Any and every look I pull off effortlessly. But I must say, the basics never fail! Only Me and My badge works wonders! That way, you can be exposed to all of Me at all times, with no obstructions! Pure Perfection!
so blessed to be in your presence frfr
As you SHOULD be, of course. Aren’t I simply Glorious? Science shows, exposure to Me makes one’s life significantly better! I’m a good luck charm!
'Onathan? Question, if I so may. How can one be more like you?
What a Wonderful question, Anonymous! Yes, to be more like Me is an admirable endeavor indeed! Of course, you could never reach the same heights I have, but think of it this way: If your goal is Perfection, you always have something to work towards, because, let’s be honest, it’ll never happen! Unless you’re Me.
You could start by taking better care of your chassis. Truly, no other core’s maintenance routine is as thorough or effective as Mine! I doubt most cores even HAVE a routine! They simply let themselves become filthy! It’s honestly disgusting. So why don’t you start with that, hm? It’d make you easier to look at, for sure. Have mercy on My visual sensors.
So if you're the best in every category, then what happens in a terribleness contest, where the winner is whoever is the ABSOLUTE, UNDISPUTABLE BEST at being terrible?
Oh, that's QUITE simple. Elementary, even! Clearly, I- ! Uhm-
...Hm.
Well! Obviously, I'm not terrible at all, that would be ridiculous! So... I- I'm The Best in every category that matters! I couldn't be terrible! Although if I were to try to be, I would be Flawless at it! ...Temporarily! Yes!
Name a single living being with an eye Greater than Mine! Go on. I'll wait.
Are you genuine?
The anger core is so cool.... Your just alright
Alright? THAT'S what you use to describe the Greatest Core Ever Made? ALRIGHT?! How DARE you compare Me to that, let's be honest, hunk of SCRAP! All he ever did was scream and growl at Me! So unadvanced. Simplistic! Barely sentient, let alone anywhere near My level of intellect. I say good riddance to that creature!
Hunk of scrap? Barely sentient? The anger core is the smartest core in aperture!!!
Oh please! If you wanted to talk to the Smartest Core in all of Aperture, then you're looking right at Him, because it's Me. I don't know what could have POSSIBLY lead you to believe that hooligan was anything even NEAR intelligent! I am utterly insulted by your ignorance.
@thesockguy, how could you?
At least someone appreciates My Incredible-ness. Sock person, you should take after this fine... thing here!
The anger core is so cool.... Your just alright
Alright? THAT'S what you use to describe the Greatest Core Ever Made? ALRIGHT?! How DARE you compare Me to that, let's be honest, hunk of SCRAP! All he ever did was scream and growl at Me! So unadvanced. Simplistic! Barely sentient, let alone anywhere near My level of intellect. I say good riddance to that creature!
Hunk of scrap? Barely sentient? The anger core is the smartest core in aperture!!!
Oh please! If you wanted to talk to the Smartest Core in all of Aperture, then you're looking right at Him, because it's Me. I don't know what could have POSSIBLY lead you to believe that hooligan was anything even NEAR intelligent! I am utterly insulted by your ignorance.
Name a single living being with an eye Greater than Mine! Go on. I'll wait.
The anger core is so cool.... Your just alright
Alright? THAT'S what you use to describe the Greatest Core Ever Made? ALRIGHT?! How DARE you compare Me to that, let's be honest, hunk of SCRAP! All he ever did was scream and growl at Me! So unadvanced. Simplistic! Barely sentient, let alone anywhere near My level of intellect. I say good riddance to that creature!
This is horrid. Where is your parade? Your grand welcoming? The populous throwing a celebration and cheering, "'Onathan! Horray for 'Onathan!" This silence is not nearly magnificent enough for you. Shameful Tumblr. Shameful Tumblr, indeed.
Yes, yes, I was thinking the very same thing! Where is the confetti?! My adoring fans, where are they?! My arrival should have overloaded the servers! This should be on the news! I feel scammed. A core of My level of Brilliance deserves FAR more fanfare than this nonsense!
What should we do with Ego Core (Meet the Cores)?
Hug
Kiss
Marry
Kill
I am utterly disgusted. You’d want to kill Me? ME?! Do you have any idea what you’d be robbing the world of?!
this is the worst askbox ever
No no no, see, it’s actually the best askbox ever! I even labeled it for you. How could it be the worst if it leads to Me?
