(Note: This one is gonna be a long one. I apologize in advance. I just figured Iād talk about my experience with one of the Gods)
I can only remember a handful of dreams and nightmares from my life. Most of them confuse me, some still scare me, and fewer still astound me. One of the dreams from the last category happened when I was about 9 or 10. Like most dreams (and nightmares), I had fallen asleep expecting nothing. No dreams, no nightmares, just uninterrupted sleep. Instead I got something that still confounds me today, something I havenāt topped in years.
The dream started with me in some kind of crowd, in some shimmering white place in the sky. The crowd and I were waiting for something. I didnāt know what, but there was still some kind of palpable anticipation. Suddenly, I heard a flourish of trumpets and someone announcing āBehold the mother of God.ā Then, this woman appeared. She was huge in size and had a robe on covered with shifting watercolors in red, yellow, and blue, almost like a rainbow. The crowd threw cubes in the air, which were cleaned up by someone like a janitor, and thatās essentially where the dream ended.
I know how weird it sounds. I donāt get it now and I donāt think I totally will. Why were there cubes? Why was there a janitor? Once again, Iām not sure, but I felt like it wasnāt my mind that created this. I was still a Christian (specifically Catholic) at the time, so I had chalked it up to a vision from Mary. I told my mom about this the next morning, who encouraged me to talk to my churchās nun. I did, and I forget exactly what the Sister said, but she was very kind. She even gave me a picture book about visions from God, which I donāt think Iāve ever read through.
That was the end of the dreamās story. I moved on, both from the dream and where I lived when I had it. I returned to the dream a couple times between when I had it and now, and the more I thought about it, the more I felt like this wasnāt a dream from Mary. I hadnāt felt connected to her before or since, and even when I told myself the dream was from Mary, I was never satisfied just because it didnāt feel right to say.
Soon I left the church, or at least stopped participating actively. I drifted spiritually for a few months, trying on some new beliefs in the hopes that one would fit. Eventually, I found paganism. Something in me screamed yes to it. It was made for me. One thing led to another, and soon Horus and later Set called me to worship Them. The dream was still there in the background, and eventually it broke through the wall in my mind and vaulted into my consciousness. I became obsessed with it. It was a gnat biting my leg, pushing me to figure it out. I asked around and did a bit of digging on my own, trying to see if any Goddess in ancient Egypt was associated with rainbows. Of course, there were no confirmed answers, and why would there be? Egypt was in the middle of a desert. I realized that the only way to see who it was would be to ask, and thatās what I did. I made a sacrifice, calling out to whoever gave me the dream.
A voice called out to me. It told me to close my eyes, and once I did I got this mental picture of a garden. I followed a path, and at the end of the path there was a woman in a robe colored with red, yellow, and blue. She turned to me, her blue tinted skin shining in the sun, and She smiled. I ran into the open arms of Nut, the egyptian goddess of the sky, who had apparently given me that dream. Here, even though I didnāt understand why the dream was there yet, I had found peace.
If you remember that post about Set epithets (linked below), I talked briefly about wanting to contact Nut.
(Before I get into the meat of this post, I just want to thank you guys for the huge increase in followers. I really appreciate it. (I hope
While I have yet to make a formal sacrifice to Her (this week has been rough), I did briefly mention that I had a dream about Her. I figured it might be nice to describe the dream, just to have something to post and to hopefully get some alternate perspectives.