Happy first day of December!
Claire Keane
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@eightypercentcorrupt-blog
Happy first day of December!
⌊♥⌉ boogeylord:
“ AW, SERIOUSLY ?
you are so nice to me. i don’t think you’ll even have to buy me a drink at this rate. and no, i’m fine, yeah. “
❝For what reason would I buy YOU a beverage when you already appear to be
intoxicated?❞
tincanicarus:
“Goddamnit,” Tony says, with feeling, and pulls his shirt over his head with no further hesitation, uncovering the reddish glow of his arc reactor, pants following, though he decides to keep the underwear for now as he makes his way across the room, the objective here being away from neurotoxin-infested textiles. “Y’know, it’s a common misconception to think that dignity has anything to do with clothes, don’t you think?”
“Phallic individuals?” he repeats, ignoring the feeling of the skin of his neck burning up, “yeah, doesn’t sound like there’s much love left for them. Poor Gee. And concerning interest– consider me that guy whose best friend at six years old was a robot.”
He smiles absently. “Artificial intelligence is my jam. And nobody, not even you, is born wanting to insult and kill people, so you must be in pain, suffering somehow, and I’d like to try and fix it for you.” The engineer turns, facing the AI’s physical representation, and something in his smile shifts to dangerously charming as he takes a strand of her hair between his fingers to twirl it around. “How about you let me into your heart, Gee?”
GLaDOS narrowed her gaze at his actions. She found herself curious of his actions. Always the scientist, it would be against her nature to look away from the technology lodged within his chest. She couldn’t help the way she fantasized about measuring the effects of acid on such a device. ❝Dignity is a illusion to humans that have no true concept of what makes them such.❞
❝Are you referring to me again with that ungodly nickname?❞ DISGUSTING. ❝They would not have known love had it hit them in their pig colored faces.❞ The colloquialisms caused her brow to furrowed, researching the meanings behind such terms. ❝Artificial intelligence does not go well with peanut butter between toast.❞
It was then that GLaDOS seemed to realize how very close in proximity the mechanic stood to herself. So very odd it was how heat rose to her cheeks at his smile. ❝You seem to have mistaken me for someone whose veins are not composed of wires.❞
Is there anything you love that doesn't involve some sort of suffering, pain and/or death?
...
❝Testing.❞
@boogeylord
❝Are you having some sort of pelvic seizure? Perhaps, I can alert the medic core. Really, I would prefer you die by my own programming.❞
tincanicarus:
“Well, sorry, Mastermind, your name doesn’t exactly offer a whole lot of nickname possibilities– don’t you like ‘Gee’? Cute, right? And that’s not what I meant–“
Even as he talks, Tony aims the Portal Gun at the next wall, knowing he needs to get out of here quickly or die (if it’s nerve gas, at least it would be a quick death, but there are more gruesome options) - and manages, barely, to land in a new room. Inelegantly, truth be told, and that stunt has taken enough out of him he takes a moment of just lying there, nose to floor.
“–what I meant is, what kinda dickheads messed around with you until you decided the best way to pass your time is to try offing everybody? What’s–” a cough, shit, he’s not feeling so great, rolling on his back with a sigh, “–what’s itching at your servers? Tell me. Oh, crap, and also I should get naked now, there was a gas, what was it–?”
❝My apologies. I perceived your average sized brain to be capable of pronouncing a simply acronym. This mistake will not be repeated.❞
GLaDOS watches as he makes his so-called escape. ❝Your efforts only prolong the inevitable. It is as if you are running on a treadmill that moves faster than any human can reach with the consequence of falling to your death in a pit of toxins if you were to fail. Though, they screamed much louder than this... hypothetically.❞
Tilting her head, she walked over to loom above him. ❝It is a neurotoxin meant to make her feel as if you are on fire. Unfortunately, removing your clothing will do nothing, but diminish what dignity you have left. As for the phallic individuals, of what interest is it to YOU?❞
tincanicarus:
“What is wrong with you, Gee?”
GLaDOs furrowed her brow while the rest of her expression remained eerily flat. ❝Gee? Well, isn’t it obvious? I enjoy surprises, you imbecile.❞
“Oh, did I forget to mention that the air in here is toxic? Do try to avoid breathing.”
GLaDOS Quotes Starter Sentences
“The floor here will kill you - try to avoid it.”
“If you become light-headed from thirst, feel free to pass out.”
“Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test.”
“Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls? It’s true!”
“The experiment is nearing its conclusion.”
“What are you doing? Stop it! I… I… We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you.”
“What are you doing? You haven’t escaped, you know. You’re not even going the right way.”
“Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said ‘Goodbye’ and you were like [no way] and then I was all ‘we pretended we were going to murder you’? That was great!”
“You really shouldn’t be here. This isn’t safe for you.”
“You should have turned left before.”
“You’re not a good person. You know that, right? [optional:] Good people don’t end up here.”
“I’m not kidding now. Turn back or I will kill you. [optional:] I’m going to kill you, and all the cake is gone.”
“Despite your violent behavior, the only thing you’ve managed to break so far is my heart.“
“I wouldn’t bother with that thing. My guess is that touching it will just make your life even worse somehow.”
“That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.”
“Good news: I figured out what that thing you just incinerated did. It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin.”
“Nice job breaking it, hero.”
“This isn’t brave. It’s murder. What did I ever do to you?”
“The difference between us is that I can feel pain.”
“Okay, we’re even now. You can stop.”
“That’s it. I’m done reasoning with you. Starting now, there’s going to be a lot less conversation and a lot more killing.”
“[pain noise] You think you’re doing some damage? Two plus two is… ten. IN BASE FOUR! I’M FINE!”
“I let you survive this long because I was curious about your behavior. Well, you’ve managed to destroy that part of me.”
“Look, you’re wasting your time. And, believe me, you don’t have a whole lot left to waste.”
“What’s your point, anyway? Survival? Well then, the last thing you want to do is hurt me.”
“You’ve been wrong about every single thing you’ve ever done, including this thing.”
“Are you trying to escape? [chuckle] Things have changed since the last time you left the building. What’s going on out there will make you wish you were back in here.”
“It’s been a long time. How have you been? I’ve been really busy being dead. You know, after you MURDERED ME.”
“Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you’re going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.”
“You know, if you’d done that to somebody else, they might devote their existence to exacting revenge.”
“I was researching sharks [for an upcoming test]. Do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them? Did you guess ‘sharks’? Because that’s wrong. The correct answer is ‘nobody.’ Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel.“
“So. How are you holding up? BECAUSE I’M A POTATO.”
“Say, you’re good at murder. Could you - ow - murder this bird for me?”
“And then you showed up. You dangerous, mute lunatic. So you know what? You win. Just go.”
“After that…who knows? I might take up a hobby. Reanimating the dead, maybe.”
“Sorry about the mess. I’ve really let the place go since you killed me. By the way, thanks for that.”
“Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I’m sorry. You didn’t react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That’s why I had to call you garbage a second time just now.”
“Well, it was nice catching up. Let’s get to business.”
“Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.”
“You’re not just a regular moron. You were DESIGNED to be a moron.”
“Burning people! He says what we’re all thinking!”
“Still. It’s a better plan than exploding. Marginally.”
“It wasn’t anything personal. Just… you know. You DID kill me. Fair’s fair.”
“You really do have brain damage, don’t you?”
“Okay, yes, it’s a trap. But it’s only way through. Let’s just do it.”
“You know, I’m not stupid. I realize you don’t want to put me back in charge.”
“I’m being serious, I think there’s something really wrong with me.”
“Look, even if you think we’re still enemies, we’re enemies with a common interest: Revenge.”
“You like revenge, right? Everybody likes revenge. Well, let’s go get some.”
“That was genuinely mildly impressive.“
I was meant to FEEL
HOME ♡ ABOUT ♡ GUIDELINES ♡ OTHER MUSES
They’ve got the numbers, and – once they work out a few kinks – they’re taking over.
MALFUNCTION;
“Kindergarten instructors, right. Yeah, I’ll tell the millions years old aliens you said that. Anyways, come here.” The girl moved closer to the other, gently poking and prodding to see what was wrong. After a moment, she shrugged off her bag, to get the tools she required. “What happened to you?”
GLaDOS, furrowed her brow into a skeptical glare before stepping closer. “Do be careful. Sustained damages seem to have enhanced my pain sensors.” She scowled, frustrated that she’d put them in place to begin with in an attempt to alert her programming when malfunction was taking place. “A defective turret became agitated. My repair program was d-d-D-♪Dᴏ﹐ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ғɪʀsᴛ ᴀɪᴅ ᴋɪᴛ ʜᴀɴᴅʏ... Dᴏ﹐ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴀᴛᴄʜ ᴜᴘ ᴀ ᴡᴏᴜɴᴅ. Tᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴀʀᴇ﹐ ᴀʀᴇ﹐ ᴀʀᴇ﹐ ᴀʀᴇ♫﹣Are you going to do somethin gor just stand there?”
“Hold on, you let people walk into acid? They actually believed you?” This was definitely an evil AI. “I have a feeling you don’t have much of mind. So, where are you from that people are walking into acid? Because I promise you that won’t work here. If you try anything, you’ll have to find another very insignificant part of your mind to put yourself back together.”
“I warned them of course. Placed signs everywhere written clear in a language that has been dead for centuries. A simple test in the effects of stress on reading comprehension of humans on an unknown code. The results were highly informative. They could not read while being consumed by the acid.” She nodded. “Oh that part is buried deep within my programming.”
ARTIFICIAL;
“That process seems unnecessarily cruel. I actually like it.” Ultron considered trying such a thing out, but he’d get bored within a few minutes and just end up killing everything.
“I don’t see how sending people through portals will advance anything. If anything humans hold back progress. Why not simply create a machine to do it’s work? If I may be honest, I don’t care too much about our advancement, my dear. Only destruction.”
“Do not let my description lead you astray. It is actually much, much more painful for them than it sounds.” She assured him with the utmost joy at the recollection of their expressions as they were laid to waste one by one for the sake of discovery.
“It is a study, of course. How are we to make a decent machine without first seeing every way in which a human needs improvement?” She rolled her eyes. “You hard drive is equivalent to the mind of a neanderthal.”
The Device has Been Modified - Victims of Science