This piece details how I imagine Oropher would treat Thranduil.
However Thranduil(s) react to such a father is up to them. (your) Thranduil may inspire Oropher to change or go about things different. I am here to explore how Oropher would wish to love and teach his son.
First Age Before Thranduil was born, Oropher has already established himself as a very stern and intense Prince who is likeable by those close to him and not so much by others. Prince Oropher has many duties, and like any other statesman, he would also have to attend council, court hearings, and private meetings with the King and whoever else. This is good for him and his close friends because they all work together and don’t really need an allocated ‘social time’ to interact or mingle. They basically see each other for much of the day.
But, that is not good for anyone outside of his circle. After Thranduil was born and up to when Thranduil could attend a school, Oropher did pass his most of his duties to another, and became a full time dad. Whatever urgent or important issues that needed his attention was directed to his home.
After Thranduil was old enough and did not require constant supervision, Oropher resumes full active duty and tries his best to allocate any free time he has to his family. Oropher’s life was basically the military, work, and family. He may miss family dinners or outings (if any) either because his day ended sourly, or a council had a bad vote or his outbound trainings did not go as plan, etc. Oropher doesn’t want to bring his mood home to his wife and kid because he is an introspective and emotional ellon, with the power of the forest overtaking his senses. So, Oropher might not come home sometimes, or only come back after everyone is asleep. He is an ellon who does not really separate his environment and personal feelings.
Oropher will also try his best to bar Thranduil from entering his meetings or seeing him when he is a Prince. He doesn’t want Thranduil to see a side of him that he could not wholly control, when dire circumstances dictate that he be harsh to his people or fellow ministers in order to drive a point.
As Oropher is not good with words and very self aware of what is going on with him and others, he tries to make up for lost time by giving gifts, whether its a cool rock or twig that caught his eye on his trips outside of Doriath, or some bread/toy/shenanigan he bought from the villages, or all kinds of jewelry from the smiths in the city. Oropher is very generous to the people loved by him and he will give Thranduil anything the son likes, whether candy, fruit, swords, daggers, capes, pets. Literally anything.
As the First Age wears on and Thingol becomes more and more [insert adjective here], Oropher’s time is less and less free and his moods are more and more harsh. He starts to get paranoid about his friends, especially of Celeborn and Luthien. Being older, Oropher wants to protect them from Thingol’s wrath, which means if an occasion calls for it, he will put himself as a wall between the King and the younger Prince and Princess, no matter what, and body block for them if needed. He cries more when in private and becomes distant from his son, not wanting to transfer his fell moods and thoughts to his family.
When Doriath ended with the First Age, Oropher does learn that family is the most important thing, and the only thing that survives.
Second Age Oropher will be less of a father and more of a Leader / King to Thranduil. Oropher will strive to teach and train Thranduil either personally (if he could) or through classes and whatnots.
He’ll basically make a King out of Thranduil, teaching his son all the things he thought that Thingol should have done, or that Doriath did not have time to see come to fruition. These include but are not limited to: Expanding trade & diplomatic relations, mastering both the sword & the bow, the art of tactical & strategic maneuvers, who Thranduil should and shouldn’t fight/defend etc. He’ll give Thranduil a very rounded, non-bias & non-isolationist education. Oropher becomes stricter and sterner in the Second Age.
Oropher’s main goal is to prepare Thranduil and hope (desperately) that at least Thranduil may have the peace Oropher wanted so badly when they moved to Greenwood. Oropher knew all along that he would not know peace in his time.
Greenwood A father only needs to love his son, but a King needs to love his people too. The way Oropher goes about parenting and kinging is actually to prepare Thranduil for everything, equip him for all situations. Oropher loves Thranduil through not wanting him to come to any sort of harm, and so putting his son into a position of power is actually the best way to ensure Thranduil has control over events and the skill to maneuver different situations in and outside the battlefield. Oropher is traumatised and he does not want a repeat of Beleriand, where thing were just happening to the Sindar and it seemed like prophecy and Valarin punishment drove fates, rather than the free peoples themselves.
Oropher loves his people through giving them the best possible fall back because he’s not arrogant to the point that he thinks himself unassailable or everlasting. Oropher has never felt that way since the second kinslaying when he saw Thingol fall before his eyes and the power of Melian fleeing. The fact that Tolkien kept writing Oropher as an escapist, while bolstering that part of him with simple reasons like disliking the Dwarfs’ encroachment, resenting the intrusion of C & G, all of these things point to trauma and wanting control over unnecessary sudden situations. All while never taking the offensive front, until the War of the Last Alliance. [ important read ]
All of the Second Age for Oropher is his priority in returning his son to a position of power and authority, so that Thranduil has sufficient resources and willpower at his hands to not be controlled by worldly events. However, Lindon is not the right place to do that without short of a rebellion, hence Oropher has to move somewhere else to build a safe and stable environment for Thranduil.
Whether Thranduil appreciates that, resents that, thinks Oropher has become more distant from him etc whatever, it has little bearings to Oropher, because Oropher will continue his mission anyway. The world and its dangers were, unfortunately, way bigger than a simple family life.
If Oropher has to die so that his son could live, what did it matter any unsettled resentment and grief? That’s what he thought.
Love comes in many forms. People and their motivations are heavily affected / twisted by tragedy, fears, humiliation, etc.
