ein ewiger Kampf

Kym-Luca // 27 // nonbinary // they/them // autistic // C-PTSD

[some-bad-habits]

-x

[idontknow36]

killing myself is just not enough, i literally NEED all proof of my existence to be gone and the memory of me wiped off from everyone's mind

[twmydiary]

what if i did do it... like I mean. I dont know... there's knives, pills, rope.... but I don't know.... I don't want to. But I like the idea of not being here. Especially right now. I wish i could just walk off into the woods.... And that's it. Thats the end. No death. No pain. I just go into the woods and I don't come back. Its like a book. The character disappeared. We don't know what happened. And that's okay. I just want to be gone. To cease to exist.

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

i was never supposed to make it this far what do you mean my future depends on me i cant even get my ass out of bed to make myself a sandwich

[emotionaleating]

i am so tired of everything around me. if there's a way i could vanish without an explanation, i would.

[emotionaleating]

[petaltexturedskies]

When Jane Austen wrote, "the more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense," I felt that.

[green-fuzzy-moss]

Me right after cutting:

"You know what it never was? that serious. It was never that serious."

[aliciamaynardsworld2]

Can somebody please beat the shit out of me? Till i am fully bruised and blooded and aching.

So that i can finally feel this pain.

So that i know i can still feel.

[smallcutemousecats]

How am I supposed to be okay with everything that's wrong?

[littlelillycatsworld-deactivate]

I fucking wish I died the first time around

[bigeyesbigsad]

[myviewfromhalfwaydown]

starting to accept that nothing will get better and i’m stuck this way for the rest of my life

[3m0g1rlyyy]

All fun and games till i remember when i was 11 i was crying my eyes out and begging god to take my life when i fall asleep so i could finally rest in peace.

[distanzismus]

„Ich wünsche mir so sehr, dir wieder nah zu sein.“

[painfulsstuff]

Man vergisst nie einen Menschen, der einem gezeigt hat, wie sich Liebe anfühlt.

[hot-chocolate-moments-deactivat]

Ich bin so müde vom ständig rechtfertigen. Darf ich nicht einfach Ich sein? Darf ich nicht einfach Entscheidungen treffen und Fehler machen? Darf ich bitte mich äußern, wenn mir etwas nicht gefällt? Muss ich wirklich alles hinnehmen und leben? Überleben? Funktionieren? Ist es das was ich darf?

💔👥