My mom forgot trumps name and called him the orange shithead đđ

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@ekkaburst
My mom forgot trumps name and called him the orange shithead đđ
I can't fugcking breath my English teacher put this on her door
Apparently in my grade last year there was a pair of twins who were there all year but i didn't know because i thought they were the same person it was very odd walking back in on the first day thinking you're seeing double because there was only one of then before????
Iâm crying my grandmother is trying to explain the reason millennials are broke is because they just spend their money and canât save it
Like you think maybe the reason they canât save it is because they? are? Broke?
GUIDE TO:
FIX YOUR SLEEPING SCHEDULE (1-2 months)
Try to wake up earlier every day. Like 5 - 10 min earlier than the day before. Until you wake up any time before 8am or soâŠ
If you struggle with waking up & snooze button is you bff:
Put your alarm clock as far away from the bed as possible.
Drink a glass of water right after you wake up.
Pour another glass of water on yourself right after you wake up.
Prepare some coffee the night before, leave it by your bedside, drink it after you wake up.
Have your blinds/curtains open, so that itâs bright after you wake up.
Try to go to bed 5-10 min earlier than the night before.
Track how many hours of sleep youâre getting. Aim to get at least 7h per day or 49h per week.Â
Increase your sleeping hours incrementally. Aim to get at least 1h of sleep more than the previous week. For example, if this week you slept for 41hrs, aim to get an extra hour of sleep next week, so itâs 42h.Once you get enough hours of sleep and wake up early-ish.
Try to keep your sleeping schedule consistent. It is really important to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. Â Even if itâs weekend. Or even if that means, you getting less than 7hrs of sleep that day. Iâd say waking up at the same time everyday is the most important step, which will help you the most with fixing your sleeping schedule.
START EATING HEALTHY (1-2 months)
This step really depends from person to person, but firstly I suggest you take some blood tests to see if you have any deficiencies, etc. Especially, if you struggle with cravings. Â
Try intermittent fasting, if you struggle with binge eating or overeating. As it will help you to learn to listen to your body better: when itâs hungry, when itâs full, etc. Itâs really simple, there are many methods of Intermittent fasting, but Iâd suggest 16/8 for the beginners. (Google it for more info)
DRINK ALL THE WATER. Again, if youâre not drinking enough water, try to level up your water game incrementally. Download some water tracking app on your phone to help you. Drinking water will make you more energetic, increase your metabolism, and decrease you appetite (among many more benefits).
Track what you eating. I would really suggest tracking your meals for around a month. Because, most of the time people have no idea that what theyâre eating is unhealthy. Again, download an app to your phone for that.
Make your own meals once in a while. Not only this will save you money, but itâll help you to see whatâs really going into your body.
Eat less meat and more veggies/fruits. Go to your local market and buy some veggies/fruits, you have never tried before. Iâm sure youâll find your new favs. Eat/buy less meat. Not only itâs good for the environment, but it is good for you, too. Get a veggie burger instead of the beef one, etc.
Cut dairy. Find your new favourite milk substitute. Advice: Oat milk is really good with the tea and oatmeal/porridge; hazelnut milk is amazing on itâs own; cashew milk goes well with cereals.
Learn more about nutrition in general. It will help you to make better food choices and it will make eating healthy much easier in general, because once you understand all the chemistry behind the food and what it does to your body, you kinda donât want to make yourself feel worse. Here are some free resources: - Human nutrition course from Alison.com - Crash course Metabolism&Nutrition: Part 1 and Part 2 - The Health Nerdâs YouTube Playlist about nutrition - What Iâve Learnt YouTube Playlist - Human nutrition course from Alison.com - Crash course Metabolism&Nutrition: Part 1 and Part 2 - The Health Nerdâs YouTube Playlist about nutrition - What Iâve Learnt YouTube Playlist
GET PHYSICALLY FIT (2-6 months)
Define your goals. Do you want to lose weight, do you want to get stronger, gain weight, be able to climb stairs without losing breath, run 5k?
Remember - youâre half-way through. Being physically fit has a lot to do with what you put into your body. So, if you fulfilled the previous step of eating healthy - you are half way through!
Make a plan. A Reasonable plan. Be honest with yourself.
Start small. Like, 5 min exercise in the morning. Or doing 10 sit ups per day. Donât do anything overwhelming, like running 5k everyday if you havenât run for the past 5 years.
Make sure that you kinda like what youâre doing. If you absolutely hate running - donât do it. Hate doing sit ups in the morning? Try some yoga instead.
Explore until you find what you like. You donât have to go to gym to get fit, especially if you hate it. Find a type of exercise, which you actually like. Maybe itâs dancing or hiking, taking your dog for a walk. Sign up for several trial lessons of various sport clubs. Ditch âem if you have them until you find something that you love. Stick with that.
Do the small changes in your everyday life. Stairs>Escalator, Walk>Drive, Do some squats while brushing your teeth, switch from regular desk to standing desk, etc⊠ Find ways to incorporate being active into your everyday life
Track your effort instead of your progress. You cannot really control your progress that much (especially if your goal was to lose weight). However, you can always control your effort. So track it instead. This will leave you more motivated. As you will be able to see that you can do more and more everyday. Whereas, if you tracked your progress, you may not always get the result you hoped for, which might demotivate you and make you upset, wanting to quit.
BEAT DEPRESSION
Do the previous 3 steps and youâre half way through.
See a therapist/doctor. Depression is an illness, requiring medical treatment. So, get it. Remember: there is absolutely no fucking shame in having a mental illness.
Get some extra support. Talk to your friends or family. Or maybe someone on the internet.
Write it out. If you donât want to talk - write down your thoughts. It can be just as helpful. Itâll help you to understand yourself better, see problems in your thinking, etc.
Distract yourself from yourself. Get someone/something to take care of, so that you can, for a moment, stop thinking about yourself and focus on something else. E.g, get a plant, or a dog, or a fish.
Self-care day. Dedicate at least one day per week for self-care. Take yourself out, either to a museum or some fancy cafe, do some stuff you like, whatever your hobbies are, do some physical self care: bath, face mask, manicure, etc., listen to some nice music, watch a filmâŠ..
STOP PROCRASTINATION
Celebrate your victories instead of mourning over your loses.So the only thing youâve done today was write one sentence for your 20 page essay? Amazing! Buy yourself a candy for that!! I mean, you couldâve done nothing, but you didnât - you wrote that one sentence and thatâs worth celebrating.
Do it for only 2 minutes. If thereâs an important thing youâve been putting off for a while, tell yourself that you will only spend 2 minutes on doing it. If after 2 minutes you donât want to do it anymore, great, stop it. However, after 2min. you actually might want to do more. No pressure either way.
Track your productivity. Track how much time youâve been productive that day. Try to increase that time by a little bit every day.
Always forgive yourself. So, itâs been a week and youâve done nothing? Donât sweat it. Let it go. Blaming yourself will bring you absolutely nothing. Nothing good will come out of your negativity on yourself. So stop it. Forgive yourself and start again. And again, if you need to. Never stop trying. Always pick yourself after you fall. Beating procrastination and increasing your discipline is a skill. And all skills can be build on. There is nothing in you stopping you from changing. Remember that.
LEARN HOW TO DO TAXES (1h - 1 day)
Go to google.com.
Type in: âHow to do taxes *the name of the country youâre living in*â
Read the results.
GET MENTALLY STRONG ENOUGH TO MAKE PHONE CALLS
Remember that just as with beating procrastination, making phone calls is a skill. And, again, skills can be learnt.
Get a new SIM card.
Top it up.
Dial some random numbers and pretend to be a salesman, selling whatever you like.. E.g., trying to sell broadband, cable tv, trying to get people to donate for some charity⊠Or whatever really⊠Me and some friends used to pretend weâre selling kittens or wood logs. Alternatively, you can pretend that you dialed a wrong person and talk about whatever, e.g. âHey, Jess!! You wont believe what I saw today!! *start telling a made-up story*âŠâ
If you get uncomfortable - just drop the call. No consequences whatsoever.
Repeat until you build up your game and your phone-call anxiety starts to diminish.
SLAY THOSE BITCHES Congratulations, now youâre ready to take over the world! Got get âem!!
YO SIGNAL BOOST
iâm begging the russo brothers to shut up iâm literally on my knees they said steve wouldnât recognize red skull if heâd seen him again in endgame where are the marvel snipers when you need them
WTF? Dude has a RED SKULL. It's pretty distinctive. However, Skrull!Steve from Endgame probably wouldn't.
Hey you're right! They can only access recent memories so a skrull wouldn't know who tf Red Skull is!
I shall now take this as confirmation that Endgame Steve was a Skrull
omg so yesterday i put a salt line on the pathway to our front door because i was fucking around and my brother was pretending to be a demon
and today we ordered pizza and the salt line was still there
and my brother went outside to sign for the pizza
and the pizzaman refused to step over the salt line, like he almost did and then he backed up and handed my bro the pizza and left; which is pretty ridiculous because itâs far from our door
so a heads up to everyone iâm pretty sure dominoâs is actually run by demons??? kind of like how in men in black the post office is run by aliens
What if they thought you guys were the demons
ohmygod
plot twist he was just a bunch of slugs in a man costume
steve "i kissed my niece" rogers is worthy to wield thor but not tony "i have not committed incest" stark
I think this might be another dream where I met god but basically I was speaking to this disembodied voice who was telling me about how people think that the world is flawed and that god made errors that even he wasnât aware of but that really god made everything perfect and that even âflawedâ things were made for a reason and that there was nothing really incorrect in the world
Why do I keep having dreams like this Iâm not even religious
Iâm so confused what is vsco girls??? They are not csgo?? Not the same thing??
IâM DEAD
Fun fact: if you know your feline body language, youâll notice that the lynx is deferring to the housecat. As far as these two are concerned, the housecat is the higher-ranking cat.
OH MY GOSH
Itâs because the cat is that lynxâs mom
BIG STRONG DAUGHTER
I wish the government was only hiding aliens instead of like, horrible human rights violations and the such.
another quality post written by god or a ghost
Misha and Jensen being manly on the spn set x x
petition to rename the usa âsouth canadaâ
what about alaska
are we then normal canada
canada a bit to the left
What about South America? Is that just America? Or South South Canada?
i cried my ass of laughing
WARM CANADA
i caNâT BREATHE OH MY GOD
Iâm not even from Canada but I approve this change of names
M ILKY E H
IT HAS RETURNED
FOUND IT
IT IS AN HONOUR TO HAVE THIS GRACE MY DASH
reblogging from myself bc i found this when scrolling through my blog
Reblogging again because this is too god for not reblog
this is one of the few posts you have to reblog or else youâll never see it in a million years besides screenshots
The milky eh! Hahahaha. đ
I canât believe how many times this has shown up on my dash and nobody has ever mentioned âCanadass.â Not once.
@tianshiisdead
lMaO
Iâm from Canada.
US Christian group condemns Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchettâs story as âmaking satanism appear normalâ
More than 20,000 Christians have signed a petition calling for the cancellation of Good Omens, the television series adapted from Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaimanâs 1990 fantasy novel â unfortunately addressing their petition to Netflix when the series is made by Amazon Prime.
The six-part series was released last month, starring David Tennant as the demon Crowley and Michael Sheen as the angel Aziraphale, who collaborate to prevent the coming of the antichrist and an imminent apocalypse. Pratchettâs last request to Gaiman before he died was that he adapt the novel they wrote together; Gaiman wrote the screenplay andworked as showrunner on the BBC/Amazon co-production, which the Radio Times called âa devilishly funny love letter to the bookâ.
But Christians marshalled by the Return to Order campaign, an offshoot of the US Foundation for a Christian Civilisation, disagree. More than 20,000 supporters have signed a petition in which they say that Good Omens is âanother step to make satanism appear normal, light and acceptableâ, and âmocks Godâs wisdomâ. God, they complain, is âvoiced by a womanâ â Frances McDormand â the antichrist is a ânormal kidâ and, most importantly, âthis type of video makes light of Truth, Error, Good and Evil, and destroys the barriers of horror that society still has for the devilâ. They are calling on Netflix to cancel the show.
Gaiman responded to the petition on Twitter, writing: âI love that they are going to write to Netflix to try and get #GoodOmens cancelled. Says it all really. This is so beautiful ⊠Promise me you wonât tell them?â
The publisher and science fiction critic Cheryl Morgan tweeted: âMiraculously God has already done it. Donât tell them She put it on Amazon instead.â
Return to Order is based on the writings of the author John Horvat II. It âcalls upon Americans to put principles into actions by working toward what is called an organic Christian societyâ. Another of its petitions in April called on Walmart to âstop selling Satanic productsâ following a 2018 protest against a âblasphemous ice cream chain called Sweet Jesusâ.
You know whoâs responsible for making them think itâs Netflix, right? Yeah? đđ€Łđ€Ł
I JUST SNORTED RICE KRISPIES UP MY FUKGING NOSE THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING IâVE SEEN ALL WEEK
[image description: Aziraphale, looking very much like heâs just heard something so dumb that it partially discorporiated his brain, closing his mouth slowly while looking quietly judgemental /end ID]
I am fucking dying
My mother had informed me that she wishes a reasonable amount of death to the person with their lawnmower at 10pm
i think itâs so wholesome that whenever me or my friends have issues w our plants đ± .. i always send my mom a pic and she gives us a diagnosis and what to do
had another plant problem so i asked my mom..
Plant not gay
Gays are happy
Why does she talk like some sort of hermit shaman who lives in a mossy cave
moms just talk like that in texts sometimes