Random Thoughts, Poems and Prose

[eldiabloblancogrande]

Hi

Hello

[eldiabloblancogrande]

[eldiabloblancogrande]

Thank you to everyone who got me to 500 likes!

[eldiabloblancogrande]

50000 likes!

[scrumptiouskittenqueen]

🥰

[eldiabloblancogrande]

The Pulse

From a dead sleep 2:30 am to wide awake wake in an instant, this wasn’t the occasional 3-4 time a year migraine that seemed to have diminished much over the past decade.  No this was different yet familiar.  Yes, that was it, this was like the ones he got as a child back in the 1970s, 

Those 2-3 time a week headaches that would knock him off his feet for several hours.  Only now as an adult the sensitivity to light and sound and the excruciating pain of the pulse or pulsing.  Why the fuck after all these years has this pulsating pain come back?

[eldiabloblancogrande]

Numb

So high floating drifting free unencumbered one with the sky

Watching My Fall in my headphones my cares disappear, floating gliding never falling.  Free as a bird my soul at peace with the sinsimellia 

[eldiabloblancogrande]

High

As I inhale the Master Kush I know it will be a matter of a few minutes until I feel the relaxation in my shoulders, tension melting away like an ice cube in a glass of Dr. Pepper on a hot summer's day.  This makes me smile.

An excellent body buzz releases the concerns that dwell within.  My aging mother.  My aging father and stepmother.  Will I make enough to cover my wife and I in retirement.  And so on......

I'm so relaxed I feel the need to create, to write I guess since I am no craftsman.  Re-visiting the artistic urges I so foolishly put aside and buried all those years.  Rambling?  Perhaps.  But the ramblings of a man totally at peace right now.

Further helped on this journey by The Cure's Desegregation release.  The aches an pains are gone, floated away.  My spirit feels light.  Yes this is very, very nice.....

[eldiabloblancogrande]

Abscent Fathers Trying to Find Themselves

It was the 1970's we saw men leave their wives and children in record numbers, the divorce rates surging to never seen before numbers.  In a search to find themselves so we were told, "Daddy has to move out to find himself," so many were told.  In reality Daddy wanted to bang his mistress, discard his responsibilities as a father, husband provider and become self absorbed in a  narcissistic orgy of me-ism to last the rest of his days.

To Daddy he was the perfect father.  To his sons he was an absent self centered asshole.  A man and wife can fall out of love, divorce each other, this is nothing new.  What the 1970's saw was an epidemic of mother's raising children by themselves.  I remember well my father's non attendance at parent teacher nights, Pop Warner games, missed little league games.  Responsibilities to show me the ways of the world left by default to my middle brother.  How to hit a curve ball, make a lay up, throw a football.  How to shave without cutting your face.  Oh yeah, the Birds and Bees- my brother 4 years older than me told me all about it.  The chicken shit way out once taken by the old man.  Yep Par for the course.

Still love him because he's my Pops but he reaped what he sowed.  Blessed to have had an older brother looking out for me as a kid.  Thank you brother.

[eldiabloblancogrande]

A Knock at the door

A Knock at the door.  Reaper's here but I haven't finished my beer.  Too bad he says.  Fuck you says I.  I'm not going anywhere.

I smash his bones with my bat, his sickle knocks off my baseball cap.  Round and round we go, this dance of death taking it's toll.  Fighting tooth and nail my persistence finally prevails.  The Reaper retreats but chilling replies "Not done with you yet!"  He'll be back and I'll kick his ass....

[eldiabloblancogrande]

I Buried A Friend Today

Not what you think but a friend still.  This one with four legs and whiskers named after a 2 time World Series Champion with the Angels and Cardinals, David Eckstein- We just called him Eck.....

Appropriately named by my daughter he was a tough little SOB, if a cat can be referred to as a Son of a Bitch.  But he was a fighter up until the end.  He didn't want to go but Feline Aids had done it's damage.  He fought until the end and as far as death goes it was a good one.

I was able to pet him until his life ceased.  I'm going to miss him.  Unconditional love from a cat is a rare thing but that animal truly loved us

He's got a nice spot in the backyard now.  and even though I new this day would come it can't lessen my sadness for the void I feel.

Goodbye good buddy.  You fought the good fight.

[eldiabloblancogrande]

An Arab Girl

I fell in love with an Arab Girl, American through and through.  Michigan born and raised from the Motor City to California she came.  Brown eyes so deep and thick hair that smelled so sweet,  Her smile captivated me.  I didn't stand a chance.  Her father was not so sure even though his mother knew I was good.  Time was on my side, I walked the walk and soon they saw I loved the Arab Girl.  That was 30 years ago, 28 as my bride.  We have a daughter all grown.  Life has changed so much since when I first met the Arab Girl, American Apple Pie through and through.  I wonder if she knows what she's meant to me.......

[eldiabloblancogrande]

Demented Chritmas carol takes

Dashing Through the Snow...

With Tequila on my breath

Running from the cops....

Faster than The Rest

Body shots it seems

Makes my Mellon ring

[eldiabloblancogrande]

Alcohol

I've seen you ruin enough lives over these many years.  My good friend Dan, My stepfather Jim, My cousin Lori- you took her life you bastard.  Now my stepmother Carolyn.

My brother's close friend Mark- you took his life too.  You've alienated families, caused death and destruction yet society embraces you so, very odd indeed.

You are the fuse that ignites the bomb of domestic violence, child abuse, murder and death, yet we embrace you so.

I'm a hypocrite I guess because I've drank all my life from the time of 16.  At times I knew I was dancing with the devil.  I was 19 when I realized binge drinking was going to get me in trouble, so I dialed it back.  Blessed by the example of close friends and family and their struggles of what not to do.  Even so, at times I still practice poor judgement with drinking.

A parent hopes for the best for the child, even when that child is an adult.  Sometimes I was not a good example with alcohol.  I am beginning to realize that more and more now as I watch my father deal with my stepmother's alcoholism.  Hindsight being 20/20.

To my wife and the Boo Bear, thank you for being my family.  You two are the reason my life has not spiraled out of control.  Thank you for believing in me.

[eldiabloblancogrande]

NYC Too Far Away

I find myself to far away from New York City this summer.  My daughter resides there after 4 years of NYU schooling, the tuition payments the reason no trip to the city will happen this year.  It's the place to be if you're a stage actor  full with the spirit of the arts. 

An acting job kept her from her annual summer trip to California this year.  While disappointed not to be able to see her neither here nor there I am happy she has a part in a play.  That's always been the goal for her and we her family support her in the pursuit of it.

Just some rambling thoughts of a man who misses his daughter but very proud, always of her.

[eldiabloblancogrande]

Fuck The O. C.

High class Assholes, Got their noses turned up at me!  Fuck The O. C.   Fuck The O. C.!

From Los Alamitos down to San Clemente!  Fuck the O. C.  Fuck The O. C!

Anaheim once was fine but now it's turned to shit!  Fuck The O. C  Fuck The O.C!

In Santa Ana you'll get your fucking car hit!  Fuck The O. C., Fuck The O.C.!

Mother Fuckers in El Toro hate the I. E.!  Fuck The O. C, Fuck The O. C.!

All those asshole posers thinking their better than me!  Fuck The O. C., Fuck The O.C.!

[eldiabloblancogrande]

Olive Oil

It seems I am one of 3 heirs to an olive oil oil empire.  I jest but my 82 year old father has started bottling olive oil.  Extra Virgin, if I was Catholic would that make in MARYsquared?  My point is if this 82 year old man can still have dreams and aspirations, than we all can. His 5 acres in Sonoma County has olive tress of course but also  Sauvinon Blanc grape vines.  He plans on bottling his own wine next year! 

Never stop dreaming...........