Scribbles Aggressively© @eldritch--enigma - Tumblr Blog

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Probably going feral in a McDonald's parking lot

More content to come.

#horror

catchymemes

eldritch--enigma

WHY IS THIS THE FIRST POST I SEE - I AM IN THIS PHOTO AND I DON'T LIKE IT

#humor

I feel lonely.

I feel lonely - now I don't mean lonely in a open my arms hug me and let me feel your warmth - I feel lonely in a lets stargaze and talk for hours - let me enjoy the conversation so much that I memorize your very soul - let every conversation feel like a poem - I crave a love that makes sense - one that is almost rhythmic - I don't crave the honey moon phases or oversexualization - I crave horror movies inside - making food together - I crave watching someone at their crafts (scientists, artists, musicians, brilliant minds) and falling so in tune with what they do that I can't help but be mesmerized - I crave a back and forth that has nothing to do with sexuality, or love or anything but just mutual interest in a topic - someone who encourages me to work on my hobbies I lost due to trauma - I crave someone who fits my mold - I crave someone who was meant for me and I for them - I crave comfortable silences and something that feels both traditional and not - someone that doesn't mind that I leave a lot of space to breathe - I crave a love where I blush when I see them and I crave a love where I want to make them gifts and knickknacks just cause oh I have to see that smile again cause god I love that smile - I crave the mundane and everything plain - I crave being able to cringy and weird around my person not judged - I crave hearing someone's laugh and knowing I wouldn't want to be anywhere else - I crave not disassociating in the quiet private intimate coded sleep rooms - I crave soft whispers on ears telling me "you're mine" - I crave a love that doesn't make me cringe away or shriek into my trauma - I crave a love that understands me and I them - sure I have plenty of suitors - even when I was a guy I did but it was the same - I crave a romance going beyond gender - I crave to feel something - anything - even if just for a moment as if to say you're heart is still beating - but I feel nothing for anyone - never have At the same time I don't want to just fill a loneliness hole - I'd rather just find methods of happy when I am alone so I can indulge in hobbies on my own time like I used to - I used to do it a lot before I was pressured into a relationship and made to think I needed it - it fucked my brain a little bit and it's been a challenge to get back to it - I'd rather not like just have a romance - sure it's funny to imagine and let those thoughts dance around my head - but at the same time the love I feel is unreal a lot of the times - it's something I leave unattainable - only few have shared that similarity - maybe that makes it easier fantasizing about stuff in fiction - how do people fall in love with actors? I don't get it - the second I have to even sit down and love the person in front of me I don't even know what to say - I don't feel like I have a safe space of people that are like me really - a person here and there sure - but I'm tired of hearing you'll find your person one day - I'm not like those people so why even say that? - why make that statement when they don't know - blunt words maybe - but it just seems stupid to tell someone that when you don't actually know them, their sexuality or anything - I think me trying to be anything but grey asexual/grey aromantic was me wanting to be what I deemed normal when really I just want to be how I was before everything got so complicated - back when I didn't care - I think I'm slipping back to that place slowly - it's taking time - but I'm getting there - I don't think I need to cure a loneliness - I was fine with isolation - happy - that changed with a kiss - unwarranted - unwanted - unconsented - and now... - I crave so much but I'm grey aro - you see at least with regular aro there is no romance no longing no craving - but grey aro is an itch that can never be scratched - it's the worst kind of romance- it's romance that says - I crave to find you but I might not ever my dream lover - I am lonely for something unattainable - and maybe that's okay - so light up the sky my lovely and I'll fall into cosmos deep

(I posted this on my other apps and stuff and I want to start using tumblr more - so that's what I'm doing - I took a long hiatus but maybe being on here and seeing other writers will ignite my flame that was so swiftly stoked - please set me on fire...)

#idk #depressing shit #MAN THIS SHIT DEPRESSING #wakakwakawaka #lonely #one is the number

Episode 3 of Creatures, Cryptids & Cretchers We'll be exploring the famous disaster warning sign known as Mothman. As always, my link tree is on my profile and feel free to requests any cryptids you'd like to see in future videos.