abt me: I'm queer and demisexual. I also use neopronouns. I'm diagnosed with adhd, anxiety, bpd, and depression. I'm also pretty certain I am autistic and have ocd. Im working on getting diagnosed as we speak. Mentally ill and very, very opinionated.
interests: yellowjackets, filmmaking, gender, poetry, queer characters, vampirism, writing, aesthetics, the magnus archives, literature, alternative styles, cannibalism, and all things weird, spooky, and macabre :3
music: paris paloma, sofia Isella, hozier, ghost, florence + the machine, charli xcx, lady gaga, taylor swift, the crane wives, kesha, she wants revenge, billie eillish, etc. etc.
boundaries: joke flirting is a big no for me because I genuinely don't know if you mean it or not, and I have a girlfriend. Compliments are totally fine, please just don't call me things like "hot" or "sexy" because that makes me uncomfortable.
dni: cis men, zionists, transphobes and homophobes, people who are "non political", republicans, Trump supporters, ed/sh blogs, pro-ed, anti-recovery, wilbur soot/dream/georgenotfound supporters, gaylors, if you ship real people, etc etc.
I block whoever the hell I want and sometimes for very silly reasons. If I blocked you, it's likely nothing bad on your part.
Also, I don't follow minors, so if I am following someone who's underage, please tell me because I probably didn't read their bio/pinned post close enough </3
I've struggled with depression for what seems like all my life and sh since I was very young. But I've always found so much comfort in YouTube as well as poetry and specific quotes (words in general really), and so I figured this would be perfect. I was absolutely right!
This is all that I could afford at the moment, but in the future, I intend to incorporate something else for Phil into the tattoo. Maybe big leaves sprouting out of the back of the text, but I'm not sure yet. That's for a future appointment lol.
Thank you so much, Dan and Phil, for all that you've done and everything you continue to do for so many people. It means the world to us. <3
@danielhowell (it won't let me find phil to tag for some reason? idk why lmao)
okay but now im curious on your thoughts about shauna shipmen :3
okay wait i'm gonna kinda do a character analysis so read after the thread it's gonna be a long one
theres so many people who think that shauna has a big ego or a superiority complex and they'll never understand that she literally hates herself and all her actions (going back to sleeping with jeff behind jackie's back) are to self destruct and ruin every relationship she has. yes, she is a terrible person i'm not denying that, but so many people like to say she's 'cartoonishly evil' or that her arc in season 3 'came out of nowhere'. but that's just not true. there's a reason for all of her action.
what shauna really wants in s3 is to be their leader. not just as a way to control everyone, but because she doesn't think they're worthy of it. in her point of view, she's lost her baby, lost jackie, butchered up javi for them, all for nothing. the first hunt we can assume was days after she lost her baby, and they expected her to be the one to kill natalie, her friend (and i can go into more depth about shauna and nat's dynamic as well), who was one of the only people she trusted at that point (which we can see in her hallucinations of her baby).
shauna HAS done terrible things, she has tried to stop them from leaving the wilderness, threatened them, but look at it from her perspective. the girls (including her) have been responsible for SO many deaths, including a child. and i'd say she still hasn't recovered from hallucinating them eating her baby. logically she KNOWS they didn't, but she's grief ridden, and still going through post-partum psychosis.
in multiple instances (02x06, right after waking up from the hallucination, and 02x07, before beating lottie) she mentioned them eating her baby. and sure, they all deny it (and WE as viewers know they're telling the truth), but how can SHE believe that? she was THERE when they ate jackie, a main force in it, and then they ate a child. why javi and not her baby? what's the difference, really?
she doesn't think they deserve to go home. that's all there is to it. and this isn't a theory, she said this herself in 03x01 while writing in her diary. they can never go back home. because of what they'd done. because of who they'd become. and they really drilled that point in in 03x06 when coach ben asked what kind of monsters they had all become.
all of them, including her, have commited such unspeakable unforgiveable crimes that in her perspective THEY DO NOT DESERVE RESCUE. THAT is the reason she stopped them.
people online say it's because of jackie, because of wilderness baby, and that has a truth to it, but if it was just her own guilt she could stay there alone. but she forces them to stay as well. she's cruel because she thinks they deserve it. she thinks they're all monsters, but they aren't monsters, they're just kids.
obviously the situation is more complex than 'they're bad people'. they're all plane crash victims, they're going insane out there. but it isn't the same in her point of view and that is the whole POINT. we are viewers, so we see the whole story, even if we mostly follow shauna's life, we see other peoples perspectives and we empathise with them, we know things that SHAUNA doesn't.
one example of this is coach ben. we know coach, we all know how mentally unwell he was in season 2. we know he couldn't have really done anything for shauna, but the whole point is she DOESN'T know that. all shauna saw was her coach, the only adult she could've relied on, saying he only put on a video and walk back to his room. how fucking disheartening would it be to hear that.
and also, during the trial, shauna honestly DOES believe he burnt down the cabin in an attempt to kill them. this is more of a viewer perspective since it isn't confirmed, and personally i don't believe he was the one to burn it down, but that doesn't matter because it's what SHAUNA thinks. she thinks that he didn't care enough to help with her baby. she thinks they tried to kill them all. and that isn't going to change because she isn't omniscent she doesn't know so much and the reason so many people hate her is that they don't process that she DOESN'T KNOW EVERYTHING. she doesn't see the man who told natalie that love is everything. or the guy who said natalie wasn't as bad as the rest of the girls. all she sees is a disappointment of a potential ally.
and saying that she's an evil, immoral, terrible person beyond redemption is falling for her OWN propaganda, because she'd rather be hated than pitied. end of tedtalk.
five clips of phil wearing his minecraft pyjamas in black and white except for the pyjamas which are bright green. there is sunlight coming from the top left corner. all of the clips are playing slightly in slow motion. the song in the arms of the angel by sarah mclachlan plays over it
One detail from the book that didn't make it into the movie that I think is neat is that Eva Stratt did not just stumble across Ryland Grace. He was not the 'potentially disposable' option. She went to the top microbiologists in some of the best research labs in the world and was told multiple times "you know what? I think Dr. Grace might be your guy." When discussing the Petrova Problem. And this several years after his ejection from academia.
why can cis men not interact but trans men can? it feels just a little bit like ur invalidating the identity, but at the same time i understand where you are coming from. im not trying to be rude btw just wondering ^^
I was expecting this qiestion to occur at some point, so I already have an asnwer for this!
Forst and foremost, I'm not calling trans men "not real men" if that's what anyone's wondering. When I say cis men, I mean people who were raised with the societal expectations and teachings that cis men are raised with. Trans men ARE men. I'm trans so it would be hypocritical of me to say otherwise, but basically, what I'm saying is they weren't raised to be shitty people in the way that cis men are.
Trans women are the exception, a) because they aren't men, and b) because I trust people within my own community. I understand they were born amab but they have gone through many of thr experiences that most queer and/or trans indivuals go through, and that's why, normally, most people in the community tend to be such emphatetic people. They were raised as someone who is amab, sure, but I have faith that they can shed those ideals and pressures.
Unlike cis men. I have enough reason to believe cis men will just always be shitty. Unfortunately, my trust in men has just been so tattered that I don't even try speaking to them anymore unless it's required, like in public settings- ie; my job.
I understand this is probably a bit of a hot take, or simply extreme in most people's eyes- but I really dont have any faith in cis men anymore. I just don't. I'm not going to risk being harmed for absolutely no reason.
The quote, "'Not all men' but somehow, always a fucking man" constantly flies around inside my head as a reminder of why I live like this.
TLDR; I promise I'm not invalidating anyone's identity, trans men are men, and trans women are women. I just hate cis men specifically because they were raised to be shitty people by the whole of society, and I refuse to put up with it. I also have extremely severe trust issues. So....
i saw someone saying on twitter about a woman who said that her boyfriend was so nervous when propose her that he forgot everything and ended up just getting on his knees saying āpleaseā.
i hope every writer who reads this makes the best of it
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