Disarming as a bird flying backwards

Elijah Tudor. Age 30. Teacher of Literary Analysis and Composition.

[afraidtcleave-deactivated202007]

Same difference isn’t it?

[elijah-tudor]

Not at all. Scary people are that way by their nature... Intimidating people, however... they want you to fear them. At least, that's my understanding of it. It's a control thing.

[afraidtcleave-deactivated202007]

Last time we spoke it seemed like you were, not that you’d be alone in that.

…Thank you, I suppose.

[elijah-tudor]

You strike me as intimidating, but not scary.

And you're welcome. 

[afraidtcleave-deactivated202007]

Our pasts dictate who we are now and determine where we end up. It’s not so easy to let go of. 

Good. There’s already one or two of them who have started to put two and two together, and they certainly do not need your help. I could threaten you, but I won’t. I suspect you’re scared enough of me already.

[elijah-tudor]

I'm not afraid of you, Miss Hansen.

I'm not keeping mum out of fear but out of respect for you as a colleague. I know you don't give a damn about the people in your life, but I happen to. 

[afraidtcleave-deactivated202007]

I know you’re not a student - for god’s sake, I’m not an idiot - but that does not change the fact that news has a tendency to travel fast here. As for a support system, it is unwelcome and inappropriate to the situation. 

As for what I did, I spent the majority of my adolescence engaged in certain business dealings that involved supplying and selling large amounts of illegal substances to a great number of people and bringing in an absurd amount of money for something that was relatively easy for someone like me to do and do well and get away with.

[elijah-tudor]

We've all done things we shouldn't have in our lives for one reason or another... and you were young then. I don't know why who you were then would have any stance on who you are now unless you didn't learn from it.

That being said, I won't tell anyone about it. It's not my business to spread around.

[afraidtcleave-deactivated202007]

It’s not about caring what you think. It’s about not wanting personal information circulating among the students - something which I’ve been very successful at so far. God forbid we ever get an overly chatty telepath.

[elijah-tudor]

I'm not a student... and besides, if it's going to get out eventually, considering we do have telepaths here... I mean, wouldn't it be better to have a sort of support system?

[nelliebenz-blog]

What methods?

[elijah-tudor]

Um... mainly the whole 'bringing people here against their will' thing?... but it really is the safest place. They can use their powers and not worry about the world accepting them.

[afraidtcleave-deactivated202007]

"I’ll save us both the time and assure you that it is a very personal question.”

[elijah-tudor]

For someone who doesn't care about people, you sure do care about what they think.

[afraidtcleave-deactivated202007]

Bit of a personal question, don’t you think?

[elijah-tudor]

Maybe. I wouldn't know that for sure unless you told me the answer.

[afraidtcleave-deactivated202007]

A poorly considered one.

[elijah-tudor]

What did you do?

[afraidtcleave-deactivated202007]

Calm. Down.

I put my life in jeopardy because of a lifestyle that I had for the majority of my adolescence. I was going to run away and attempt to go into hiding but I found myself here and was never permitted to leave. Satisfied?

[elijah-tudor]

What kind of lifestyle would require you to go into hiding?

[afraidtcleave-deactivated202007]

People have their uses, but they also tend to be burdens and inconveniences and the cons of invested interaction far outweigh the pros.

If I were you, I would avoid speaking of that of which you know nothing and take some deep breaths and get a hold on yourself.

[elijah-tudor]

People are not just tools for you to use to your end.

If you care about them so little, then why are you even here? If I know nothing then maybe you should enlighten me instead of curling your lip in disgust.

[afraidtcleave-deactivated202007]

Calm down. What I do has no effect on you whatsoever, so I fail to see why you are so concerned about it.

I don’t need people to care about me. I have always gotten along quite well on my own and I have no patience for other people and their respective problems.

[elijah-tudor]

You don't need people to care about you? The human race as a whole relies on one another. It's always been that way. It's why a man can stay sane on a deserted island if he has someone to talk to but go crazy on his own.

You have the option to fit into the world out there. You've always had that ability, and you squander it by looking down your nose at others as if we're not as good as you because we need each other. I wish I could be so lucky to fit into a normal society, but I'm not. I just thought you would be a lot more grateful for the freedom you're afforded.

[afraidtcleave-deactivated202007]

Silence on one’s own terms is almost impossible here. It seems people always bother me when I least want them to. I think the better question is why would I want anyone to like me? I have always preferred being feared to being loved.

[elijah-tudor]

What does that even do for you though? Making people fear you?

How is being alone a good thing? I don't understand why Elswood's forced isolation is torture but the kind you put on yourself is a godsend. Maybe you're just so certain people aren't going to give a damn about you that you cut them off at the knees before they get the chance to decide.

[nelliebenz-blog]

Do you really think it’s safe here?

[elijah-tudor]

Of course I do. They've protected me most of my life.

I don't... approve... of some of their methods, but I think I'm better off here than anywhere else.

[afraidtcleave-deactivated202007]

Surely there doesn’t have to be a reason. Perhaps I behave the way I do because it is simply the way I wish to act. No need to overcomplicate things.

[elijah-tudor]

Why would you want to be dismissive of people though? Why would you actively attempt to get them to dislike you? You're subjecting yourself to further isolation!

[afraidtcleave-deactivated202007]

"You pretend to be something or someone you’re not, you are, by default, lying. If I lie at all, it’s by omission. No more, no less. I’m not a warm and fuzzy person, nor will I ever be."

[elijah-tudor]

Well, no one is arguing that.

Still, a guy can't help but wonder why you're the way you are.

[nelliebenz-blog]

But why? They’re so majestic.

[elijah-tudor]

Not everyone would think so, I would bet... It's not normal, and regular human beings fear abnormalities... and fear breeds all sorts of unpleasant things.

It's why Elswood is a safe place for me and everyone else. The rest of the world just wouldn't understand us.