For a moment it feels like the entire rest of the world stops spinning. Eliot isnât shoving him away ( after all, Q seems to always be the one to do the shoving ), and theyâre still â theyâre still kissing even when he thinks the world is going to bitch slap him in the face like it always seems to. Eliotâs nimble fingers tug at his waist and Gods this is literally the closest to Heaven his undeserving ass is ever going to get.
    And then it stops again. He should have REALIZED it would stop, but somewhere inside of him he thought that maybe this was where the real world stopped and the dream world began, so Eliot Waugh wouldnât stop kissing Quentin Coldwater. ( then again, heâs the first to remind them ALL that fairytales are no longer a good thing to desire for reality. ) Theyâre back on the bed and this is a GOOD thing, his head spinning as he tries for a moment to go back in for a third time.
           Heâs almost successful when Eliot speaks again.
     Did you actually want to do that? Jesus Eliot can be an IDIOT sometimes. Their hands are still intertwined together, enough so that Quentin thinks maybe he can tug Eliotâs hand back around his waist. To forget the world thatâs trying to kill them. Eliot wants to think of whatâs important â Quentin just wants to forget.
     He keeps talking, and every word makes Quentinâs heart crack a little more. Itâs not shattered â the thoughts of if and maybe still floating there between them. But it is enough to make him swallow back the words his desperate dream world wants to shout and let his hands let go and settle back in his lap. Now his eyes are lowered, flickering to the fidget of his fingertips as they trace circles into his own jeans.
             â Iâll go get us some coffee, â he chokes on the words, â and a couple of books. â
     How can he focus on anything else when each breath he takes is a reminder of what he almost lost? What he might have once had -- he wonât go there. The last thing he wants to do is to shatter Quentin like this anyway. While teasing has been a fun game in the past, Eliot hardly wants to string Q along for any sort of entertainment. He wants to run, to forget that everything else exists. Damn the fucking Beast to hell if it takes this from him.
    Eliot nods and takes a deep breath, in and out, attempting to put on a face that represents some sense of normalcy. Like he didnât see their universes colliding. His gaze wanders to the table drawer beside the bed, knowing thereâs at least four different substances that could fuck him up enough to forget his pain and perhaps even let him fall back into those incredible visions. But what good are visions when he can have the real thing?
    They kissed, that had happened. Quentin did perhaps want him -- whether it was real or just a subconscious need. His thoughts are interrupted before he can even stretch his fingers to pry open that drawer, hearing Quentinâs promised return.Â
    Few words are shared, the only noise the turning of pages between sips of coffee. It doesnât scream of success, and before heâs even finished his cup, Eliotâs mind has drifted again and heâs lost focus. Maybe he should have grabbed some fucking Adderall. âOh, fuck this...â he shakes his head and shoves the book aside with a long sigh, looking back up at Quentin.Â
    âLook, you know Iâm the last person to make a big deal out of anything like that. Even with you. But while I was out...â He pauses, dropping his gaze, lips parted. âI had these... visions?â Well donât you just sound perfectly normal, Eliot... âOf you and I... It was fucking beautiful. And before I sound any more insane, I just ... You didnât have anything like that, too... did you? Because if thatâs why you wanted to kiss me then, fuck -- we can definitely... continue that.âÂ