I'm only me when I'm with you

Elizabeth Elaine Preston. 24. I never knew where I belonged until I found you.

[eliza-bethpreston]

Russian Love Story

While Skylar and Gerald went off to discuss final details and Jess and Alex were god only knows where, Beth was talking to the planner outside her room, leaving Brad inside to start unpacking. Once the final things they needed were established like when the dress would be arriving and what time the rehearsal was, she popped her head back inside. “How comfortable is the bed?” He laughed at her and made a gesture to the closet meaning he hadn’t even sat down yet. She came in and gave him a kiss when he turned back around from the closet where he hung his suit. “This place is beautiful.” Grabbing her dress for the wedding, she moved it to the hook behind the door before pulling her phone out of her back pocket and sitting down on the bed. “So the rehearsal is in a couple of hours, I’m not sure how long I’m going to be stuck in the bridal suite, but maybe you and Alex can have a look around, maybe make sure Gerald is staying chill. I am not sure what to expect from his family, but there’s a lot of ‘em.”

[homewithmycats]

TAYLOR during THE MAKING OF ME! in the studio. - MISS AMERICANA (Netflix, Jan 31st 2020)

[eliza-bethpreston]

nice day for a white wedding

While Skylar and Gerald went off to discuss final details, Beth was talking to the planner outside her room, leaving Brad inside to start unpacking. Once the final things they needed were established like when the dress would be arriving and what time the rehearsal was, she popped her head back inside. “How much time do I have?” “Still about 30 minutes.” With a nod, she came in and gave him a kiss when he turned back around from the closet where he hung his suit. “This place is beautiful, but let’s not ever go this extravagant with our wedding, okay?” Grabbing her dress for the wedding, she added it to the closet before pulling her phone out of her back pocket. “So the rehearsal is in a couple of hours, I’m not sure how long I’m going to be stuck in the bridal suite, but maybe you and Alex can have a look around, maybe make sure Gerald is staying chill. I am not sure what to expect from his family, but there’s a lot of ‘em.”

[swiftiekyle]

reputation vip exclusive photos | personal photos

[suspend]

[decadesfashion]

Marilyn Monroe by Milton H. Greene, 1954

[anxietyproblem]

[wolfinthethorns]

Honestly, in my work as a therapist, I’m seeing this A Lot, and tbh I still don’t have a satisfactory approach to it. A heavy dose of Existentialist “create your own Purpose” tempered with “when the plane’s going down, put your own oxygen mask on first”, but… yeah, there is no ethical way to work on individual emotional distress without acknowledging the systemic socioeconomic, geopolitical fuckery going on at the moment, and the sheer grief that comes with it.

[castielific]

I’m a guidance counselor/psychologist for teenagers and it’s getting really hard to motivate young people to work for a future they don’t believe in. 

 They look at ther future and see global warming, wwIII, unemployement, political unstability, poison in everything  they eat, the earth and animals dying all around them. 

I saw this video where someone was asking french teens in the 50s how they imagine the future would be. The war hadn’t been over for long and yet it was all positive with like peace and flying cars and such. Then they went and ask the same questions to nowadays teens and hell that was depressing. Some still had hope, but it was just that “well I hope I’ll have a nice house and maybe some kid” but there was such a hesitancy to it, like they didn’t dare to hope too much. 

People mock Greta Thunberg but what they don’t get is that when she said “you stole my dreams”, it was the truth. 

Young people don’t get to dream like they used to. They don’t dream anymore, they grief all that won’t be anymore and that’s just so fucking sad. 

[eliza-bethpreston]

jessicaroseshepherd​:

“One of us is a mediocre mother with dumbass kids that don’t know any better. I am not the mom. I am a dumb bitch that just became a mom because her and her husband hadn’t had sex for months and his pullout game was weak.” Jessica took the color wheel sticking her tongue out at Skylar. She picked up a nice dark burgundy color before handing the color wheel back and relaxing in her chair as the pedicure started. “Sky, you’re right. This is an amazing for you and these are amazing circumstances. You got into the top ten on iTunes, also you were already successful because Him & I did go number one for like a whole month but, either way. We all have different things we’re insecure about; me and my body image, Beth and her weird family and commitment issues, and Skylar with the fear of good things happening and success. Let her be.” They both let out an offended hey before laughing. The appointment carried on with Skylar talking about being nervous about making a full album and maybe after the wedding she would think about it more. After their nails were done, they made their way to the mall and bough bags upon bags of new clothes and lingerie before returning back to the AirBNB. Jessica put on one of the new dresses she got before putting on some light makeup knowing she wouldn’t want to take it all off again at the end of the night. Walking out of her room, she noticed the other rooms were still playing music meaning they were still getting ready. Letting herself into Beth’s room she saw Brad on facetime leaned up against the mirror while she was getting ready, “Hey, miss no boys! What the fuck is this?!?” She asked before throwing herself onto the bed next to her sister sitting on the ground doing her makeup.

Beth was in the bathroom of her bedroom, catching up with Brad as she got ready to go out. No one had started yelling at her to hurry up, so she was taking her time finishing up her makeup, already dressed up. “We need to come out here during one of our next vacations, I love it. It’s a total mix of big city and old town style mixed with palm trees.” She’d sent him a  few photos throughout the trip, but they were mostly catching up now. “We can go whenever you want, sweetheart.” She was rubbing her lips together with a fresh coating of lipstick when Jess came in. “Okay everyone ahs talked to their man, you all broke the rules first!” They could both hear Brad laughing through the phone. “I’ll give her back to you, be safe and keep an eye on each other tonight.” “We will, have a good rest of your night. I’ll try to remember to let you know we’re back face.” “Thank you, love you, Beth. Have fun girls.” “Love you too!” They both said goodbye and Beth turned around to look at Jessica. “Hot dress, are you already ready to go?” Turning back to the mirror, the blonde started applying her mascara. “Is sky already ready?” Meanwhile Skylar was in the master suite, already ready for the night, but talking on the phone with Gerald. Things felt amazing and the two getting more supportive and lovey every day that it got closer to their wedding. “Okay, the girls are probably ready to kill me, I should go. I love you.” “I love you too, have fun, no tarot readings tonight.” Skylar could only laugh at that. “Nope, just dancing and alcohol.” “Good, call me if you need me.” “Okay, goodnight handsome.” Skylar finally exited the room and wandered to the nearest on to hers. “Oh good, you’re both here. Are we ready?” 

[silvertons]

Some things I hope you never have to understand. So you let me figure them out on my own. I was trying to protect you! It hurts so much to be abandoned by someone you love. And if you thought it was just my fault, just a one-time thing… I wanted you to grow up with the confidence that your dad leaving had nothing to do with you. You understand me? Nothing!

[ssweeneys]

[fabkovic]

Mush ♥

[eliza-bethpreston]

jessicaroseshepherd​:

“I’m thinking nails, then shopping, then probably some food, and then blasting hoe anthems and getting ready for ass shaking.” Jessica let out a little laugh before they both started to search for what they wanted their nails to look like while continuing to chat about their men and the upcoming wedding. Beth came over to them not soon after to model her arm with a smile asking if they liked it. “I think it looks amazing.” Jessica said with a smile, “Do you like it? Was it as painful as you thought?” She took another drink of her tea as Beth sat down next to her, “He said it was fucking sick. He made me promise we would get tattoos again together soon. We got some together in Miami and now everything he sees he wants tattooed on him.” Jessica said with a small laugh before leaning back in her chair, “He said my dad and Sloan installed some little chairs that hang off the ceiling around the house for the kiddos to sit in yesterday, so he just sent me some pictures of them while he was making himself breakfast.” She spun her phone on the table with a smile before taking another drink of tea and setting it down. “I can’t wait to get home to home…We’re going to end up making another stupid kid.” Shaking her head, she stopped her phone from spinning, “You excited for Russia? I still can’t believe Gerald is renting out one of the most famous castles in Russia for a whole week for this. What people can do with money amazes me. I wonder if any other celebrities will be there. If I got to twerk with Cardi I think I would die.” She raised her eyebrows before drumming her hands on the table. “I just can’t believe its Russia, like I’m sure there’s like castles in Australia or I don’t know just somewhere warm. Ooh, you should get married in Hawaii or the Bahamas. Just big island sun kissed vibes.” 

“Hurt when he went over the bone, otherwise it wasn’t too bad.” Beth shrugged, looking down at her plastic wrapped arm. “How long do we have to keep this thing on? He said the longer the better, but that’s annoying.” Peeling back the protection, she rested her elbow on the table, her head in her hand and started taking a selfie. “No boys!” Jessica teased her and Beth rolled her eyes as she opened in insta. “It’s going on my feed, shut up.” After posting, she sent one of the other shots she took to Brad anyway. “Im not against another niece or nephew, though girls nights have been majorly limited due to the kiddos, soo… maybe don’t make another. Wrap it up, take the pill, whatever it takes.” Beth asked if she wanted another drink before getting up to get a refill on her coffee. “I’m interested to see what it’s going to be like, definitely more of a spectacle than I’ve ever been to and Gerald has a huge family, so it’s probably going to get loud.” She chuckled. “It just amazes me that our little Skylar found herself a celebrity and they’re getting married..” She wanted to say mobster, but she bit her tongue. “Our mom is growing up.” Beth joked. “Oh god I have no clue where we’re going to get married, Brad’s mom wants it down in Georgia which… worries me slightly, but I guess we’ll just see. I wanted to just elope and he vetoed that idea, so apparently there has to be something nice. I’m in no rush though, all we know is we like fall. And not this fall.”

[eliza-bethpreston]

jessicaroseshepherd​:

The continued to chat the night away about tattoos and their men before each retiring to their own rooms. Jessica made sure to facetime Alex while she got ready for bed. Taking off her makeup she assured him that she was okay and they could talk when she got home. After showering, she climbed into the big canopy draped bed and they talked until she fell asleep. The next morning they all woke up and Skylar mentioned she found a tattoo shop on Instagram last night. Deciding to just get ready for the day and go, Jessica put on some denim shorts and a crop top with some sneakers. Stopping in the mirror she put on some eyeliner and lashes before meeting everyone downstairs for the Uber. They went to a tattoo shop that was also bakery and tarot reading place. They all took turns talking over their designs before being told to wait in the cafe. Jessica got herself a sweet tea and an almond croissant before sitting at the table. Her and Skylar were eating and talking about the places they were going to shop and how they were going to get their nails done before Beth joined them with her own food and drink. Jessica had finished eating right as she was called over to start her tattoo. She sent Alex a picture when it was done before Beth and Skylar came over chiming “No boys!” “Ugh.” Jessica rolled her eyes with a laugh before putting her phone in her back pocket, “I just wanted him to see how amazing this tattoo was, for fucks sake.” She said letting out a little laugh, “Who’s next?

When Jess went to go get her tattoo, Skylar and Beth sat there eating and chatting about wedding plans and what they should do as a bachelorettes spa-esq day before they left for the venue which turned into them looking for new places to try after they got to their destination. Their conversation moved onto more serious subjects, like the things that bothered one another about their card readings and why Beth didn’t want another reading, but didn’t get nearly as emotional as the night before, thanks to much less alcohol in their systems. “Oh I think she’s done.” Beth smiled and pointed over to Jessica who was getting up and looking at her tattoo in the mirror. “Lemme see.” They both ‘ooh’ed at the tattoo and made comments about how cute and well done it was. “Ugh let me go and just get it over with.” Beth huffed out like she hated the idea of getting a tattoo despite the smirk on her face. She’d been a little tempted to get a tarot card tattoo since both of the other girls were, but she didn’t want to get any of the cards she’d been dealt, so instead she had Skylar draw her up one. As Beth went back, Skylar sat back down at their table and started drinking her coffee. “So what did you want to do after this?” They proceeded to chat until Beth’s tattoo wrapped up and she joined them again. “Your turn miss bride to be.” With a grin, Skylar took her drawing over to get sketched and tattooed. “Doesn’t look too out of place?” Beth asked, showing off her tattoo to Jessica. “So what did Alex think of it?” She said in a joking tone, knowing full well Jess was going to send him the picture even though it was a no boys day.

[still-an-innocentt]

i need taylor to walk out tomorrow with curls and cowgirl boots and a thirteen on her and and then sing “fuck” on live tv

[eliza-bethpreston]

jessicaroseshepherd​:

“It’s true, you do have a good doctor.” Jessica said with her mouthful. Arizona was an amazing doctor and had already made so many successful movements and procedures in the pediatric, fetal, and obstetrics. If anyone would be able to help Skylar out of this problem of not being able to carry her own kids it was her.  Jessica sighed as Beth rested her head on her shoulder. She knew that she was right and that her and Alex were going to have to have another talk when she got home. As Beth showed immediate anger, Jess quickly took another bite intrigued by what she was going to say. “The guy from the club.” She said quietly before taking a drink to wash down the half chewed bite. “Look at us. The trio that can’t let go of their trauma. My trust issues, your son, and your attacker… We all don’t know how to move on because we thought compartmentalizing it would be better.” She said before finishing off her glass and setting it down next to Beth so she could fill it back up. “We need to make a deal with each other… Since we don’t know if or when Beth will actually get married, this is our last weekend to be the girls for a long time. Tonight was a disaster but tomorrow fuck all of it. Fuck whats happened back home. We will worry about that when we get home, that’s not what this trip is for. We are three hot twenty somethings in need of a god damn good time. Tomorrow, we’re going to wake up, go shopping, get tattoos, shake ass, and make dumb men buy us drinks. Cheers?” She asked lifting her recently filled glass out to them. 

“I guess..” Beth shook her head and sighed. “I just..how the fuck to I find closure with that? I moved, I got a restraining order, I did all the things I needed to to move ahead and I thought that was moving on.” She knew that that was a major way she changed, went from feeling free and excited for every day to wary of going into the city and afraid of anyone who knocked on her door, but she didn’t even know where to start from moving on from all that. “We’re one hell of a group, never processing our emotions because that would be the healthy way of going about it.” She joked and grabbed some food, not wanting to think about losing Brad in all this. There was a little fear there in having changed so much and explored parts of life she never allowed herself to all to have it come to an end, but the truth was she clearly needed to work on herself and her relationship. “I can be down for that, I refuse to have every one of our nights out here end in tears. This is your bachelorette weekend, we can eat our feelings tonight, but I’ll never live it down if we don’t go all out and end the night passed out in the bathroom.” “I’d like to make it to the bed, but yeah, cheers.” All the girls clinked their glasses before taking a long drink of their wine. “I love you girls, I don’t know how I got here, but I’m really glad I found you two along the way.” Sky spoke up and Beth gave a little pout. “I love you both too, the lost kids all found one another and quite frankly we’re a mess.” Beth joked before taking another bite. “God, you two have to help me pick where to put a tattoo, I’m the only one that doesn’t have any.”

[eliza-bethpreston]

jessicaroseshepherd​:

She hated that she hadn’t been able to get out of this head space and when she was finally getting over it, she had gotten pregnant and felt completely unattractive. Resting her head in her hands she continued to cry, “I know she didn’t… I was so powerful and now I’m just a shell and I don’t feel secure in anything I do. I just wake up every day so afraid. I loved him for so long and he’s the only person I trusted fully with everything but then he lied with you. And if he can lie about that…Then I just worry he could lie about not being happy or that he wanted to see other people before it was me. Like what if he never really even liked me? He just liked the idea of me and he didn’t get to date enough people to learn that and I don’t want to get attached to him if he’s just going to leave like everyone else.” As Skylar stepped outside, Jessica lifted her head up to see she was crying as well. “Why are you crying?” Jessica asked standing up to hug onto Skylar. “You didn’t want to talk about it.” Her friend said quietly hugging onto her. “We can talk about it… I think this all got us upset but I’m gonna need a lot more alcohol and more good food.” Jessica let out a little laugh before pulling away from the group hug they had. Walking down the street, her stomach was upset and she had to stop to throw up twice before they got to the french market. They got a box of beignets, french fries, and chicken tenders before stumbling their way back to the AirBNB. Skylar and Jess sat on the floor around the coffee table opening the food boxes. Beth grabbed two bottles of wine, an opener, and three glasses before making her way over to the table. Jessica was busy opening the ranch and fry sauce containers as Beth sat down at in between them, “Red or white?” Jessica let out a long sigh, “White… So, what did she tell you?” 

“Honey you two weren’t officially together when he lied to you about us and I know personally I haven’t had any line crossing interactions with him since because we both love you and he knows he fucked up. We both did. And if you’re afraid to get attached to your husband then you... you have to know that if Alex were doing the same thing you’d probably yell at him and tell him to leave you then. So are you willing to give up or do you want to move on and let go?” As Sky stepped out, Beth sighed and knew it was going to be a long night. “Yes, much more alcohol, I’m with you there.” She chuckled and once they all separated, they made the trek back to the airbnb. Stocked up for the night, everyone got settled into the living room and Beth poured them all a large glass of wine, Jess and Skylar the white, while she poured herself a glass of red. The blonde then grabbed a couple fries and washed them down with a couple large gulps as Skylar started talking. “She just started saying that there’s going to be a bunch of success in my career which was weird, but then I did a reading kind of like yours, more general, and she started saying I need to let go of past pain because I’m struggling with my family and myself as a woman and I thought about.. our son” She took a couple breaths, tears springing back up in her eyes. “And that I have to let go and that she saw a growing family in our future and basically just told me how wonderful Gerald was which I already know. I just... I can’t just let it go. I thought I did when I stopped crying every day, but thinking about still needing to release more feels like forgetting.” Skylar took a sip of her wine as well to help the lump in the back of her throat. “I always through tarot cards were cool, but it got too personal.” She said with a little laugh. “I know you didn’t want to talk about babies and all that, but... it just leaves me wondering if I’m making the right decision with this surgery. It has the potential to scar up my uterus so bad I’ll have a harder time having kids, but it could also help a lot. And if all it takes is letting go to be able to have a family then maybe I just need to focus on that.. I don’t know, maybe it’s all bullshit. Yours sounded pretty correct though.” 

[hellyeahselenita]