Thoughts on Weight and Body Image *Personal*
āYouāll never find a man if you donāt lose weightā - this was told to me, word for word. by an insignificant person in my life. But it still held a lot of weight and gave me some things to think about.
Iāve struggled with my weight and body image since I was a child. It has been an issue for me for a long time, like for a lot of people. Iām currently a size 14 and my thinnest as an adult was a size 7-8, and Iām 5ā²8ā³.
From complete strangers who thought they were ābeing helpfulā with their unsolicited advice; to my mother telling me it might be healthy if I lose a couple of pounds; to being asked if I was pregnant by other strangers; to being told that my weight was an issue by a previous sexual partner who had already had sex with me but said it could be better if I ālost a little weightā, the comments have varied over the course of my 27 years on this planet.
Iāve learned, first of all, the people who tend to comment on other peopleās weight tend to have a lot of issues with their own body image. They cannot accept their own flaws, rolls, lumps, marks, etc. on their own bodies, so they feel the need to take it out on other people... to put it lightly. I believe this is entirely wrong, and a stigma that needs to f*cking stop.
Everyoneās bodies are different. One or more personās standards should never define an entire group of varied bodied women AND men. We all lose weight differently, we all gain weight differently, we all fluctuate weight differently due to hormones, stress, medication etc. We also are shaped and modified differently due to just plain genetics, and what works for one person isnāt the same as the next. Or, what a concept, weāre okay with being overweight or having some fat on our bodies! Our physical bodies are unique.
My (also overweight) aunt gave me my favorite advice about weight and body image. She told me first of all to never listen to skinny people, even if they mean well. She also said if you look at yourself in the mirror and do not like what you see, do something about it. But donāt do something because someone else told you to do something about it. She also said to never be with someone who comments about your weight, period. I loved all this advice to my core.
The best person for you will accept you for who you are, and honestly, Iād rather take a man that loves my size 14 body than one who will only like me at a size 8 or below. The right partner for you will support your own body and weight goals. Fuck the others who donāt. They do not matter for your own development and state of being, and have no business being involved.
Beware of internalized misogyny, and talk openly in your communities and groups on how to change the stigma and patterns. And if someone says something like what was said to me, have the courage to call them out on it and stand up for yourself. And if they donāt listen, donāt let that bother you either. Itās their own problem in the end, and should not be yours.
Love your bodies everyone, they deserve it. xo
2087
gracieabrams
jimmyeatworldofficial
gummygunk
