dear diary

sometimes i blast my ears off with songs so that my eyes forget to cry

[ellicewrites]

But you wanted me first...

[heavyrain-dc]

“If you can’t do anything about it then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change.”

— Tony Gaskins

[ellicewrites]

this is my i-hate-all-men song

[ellicewrites]

how do you know

you are done hurting

is it once you stop writing

poems and

stopped singing

sad songs

how do you know

your heart is no longer

breaking, screaming

longing

is it when you wake up

and it no longer flutters

and the thought of him

no longer rattles

the butterflies

trapped underneath

your ribcage

- tell me how

[luxlightly]

So, there's apparently research coming out now about microplastics being found in people's bloodstreams and the possible negative effects of that and I feel the need to get out ahead of the wave of corporate sponsored "be sure to recycle your bottles!" or "ban glitter!" campaigns and remind everyone: It's fishing nets. It's fishing nets. It is overwhelming fishing nets It always has been fishing nets. Unless regulations are changed, it will continue to be fishing nets. The plastic in the ocean in largely discarded nets from industrial fishing. The microplastics are the result of these nets breaking down. The "trash islands" are also, you guessed it. Mostly fishing nets and other discarded fishing industry equipment. Do not allow them to continue to twist the story. Do not come after disabled people who require single use plastics. Do not come after people using glitter in art projects and makeup. These things make up a negligible amount of the issue compared to corporate waste, specifically in the fishing industry. Do not let them shift the blame to the individual so they can continue to destroy the planet and our bodies without regulation.

[ellicewrites]

letting you go gave me

more words to write about

how it hurts to know

our worlds are the

thing that is keeping us

apart and maybe

we can overcome that but

the truth is we do not know

a thing about keeping whatever

this is afloat so

we have no choice

but to trust fate to

bring us together again

the only things is,

what if it never does?

- distance

[ellicewrites]

If your eyes ever find it hard to carry the weight of your tears, I will cry in your place for you.

[ellicewrites]

how are you?

it's been a long time since i wrote something.

i don't miss him anymore,

i moved out of the country,

i said goodbyes,

i've cut people off,

i don't love anymore,

i'm doing okay

better than before.

so how are you?

[ellicewrites]

Dear Diary,

Some nights I’d wake up and his sleeping face would seem to be the most interesting sight I’d find. I guess there really was something about the way he look so at peace. Like we never had a fight that night. I wonder if he was dreaming about me when he smiled tonight? Did I linger long in it or was I just a passerby? Did we love there or were you with someone else? Don’t. I don’t want to hear your answer. Break my heart a thousand more or keep doing so until forever. I don’t mind. You’ve done it a million times, I think a thousand more I can handle. I’m going back to sleep with the hope that maybe I’ll find you waiting there for me.

Goodnight.

[theirdelusion-deactivated202106]

abandonment. visual poem collab with @honeybee-scribbles.

[thethieves]

#10yearsof1D

[ellicewrites]

they really got us hyped over a 5 min video we’ve already seen 🤡

[ellicewrites]

Sometimes I find myself staring at your picture. I’m always wondering if you’re doing fine, if you’re taking care of yourself, and if you are still thinking of me the way I am writing about you right now.

I have so much questions in my mind that my heart can never rest easy from.

I have so many love in my heart that I won’t get to share with you now.

Sometimes, I wonder what could have possibly happen if I haven’t moved forward, if I firmly held on to the soft touch of your hand, and pretend that it was fine and we were not falling apart.

Do you think that we could have stayed together and somehow made it through? Do you think our love was strong enough to survive anything that could come our way?

Did you even love me or was it just an illusion on my part?

Then again, I would rather not listen to the painful sigh that would escape your lips as you tell me that what we had isn’t real and the thought of listening to your truths pains me more than it did when you lied.

I used to wish that you would give me a definite answer but maybe, some things are better left unspoken. Because if I knew, I know I would’ve clinged on to you and that’s what you would want.

Because you love it when I chase you.

[crashingwaves-burningsouls]

“You will survive this. Every day you get out of bed, even though every bone in your body is begging to stay in bed and let the sheets swallow you up. He broke your heart, and that isn’t a metaphor, I know you can feel you heart breaking between your ribs. You loved him and you trusted him and he didn’t even give you a real reason why. But I need you to know that nothing that you could have possibly done could give him license for the way he has treated you since leaving you. You were together for two years, that type of relationship deserves respect even when it is over. You don’t need to defend him anymore, that isn’t your job. You’re allowed to think he is an asshole, that doesn’t mean he was an asshole the whole time; it means he has changed. You have to seperate who he was within your relationship from who he is with his friends now. People tell you that there are plenty more fish in the sea. And I know that the thought of opening up to another person is overwhelming. Because while there may be plenty of fish in the sea, all you can see are sharks circling. Just because the one you loved turned into a shark, doesn’t mean everyone after him will be out for blood. Trust that in time your wounds will heal.”

— A letter to a heartbroken friend.

[books-n-quotes]

Why does one begin to write? Because she feels misunderstood, I guess. Because it never comes out clearly enough when she tries to speak. Because she wants to rephrase the world, to take it in and give it back again differently, so that everything is used and nothing is lost. Because it’s something to do to pass the time until she is old enough to experience the things she writes about.

Nicole Krauss, The History of Love (via books-n-quotes)