homegrown alligator, see you later

ellie smith. a teacher, a mother, and a friend (i hope!). there isn't much to say about me, really! i love my dylan, and i adore my students. if you're here because you've met reid, i can only apologise. he's a softy once you get to know him, i swear!

[elliebellysmith]

↳INSTAGRAM: @.ElizabethSmith uploaded a photo

Quiet cabin weekend away with mom and the little guy. May or may not have stolen @macthereid’s shirt to sleep in? Shh, don’t tell!

[macthereid]

@macthereid: Missing you and the kid, sugar. Almost as much as I miss my fucking shirt.

[elliebellysmith]

@.ElizabethSmith: @macthereid​ mmm no, sorry, this is mine now! xxx

[elliebellysmith]

↳INSTAGRAM: @.ElizabethSmith uploaded a photo

Quiet cabin weekend away with mom and the little guy. May or may not have stolen @macthereid’s shirt to sleep in? Shh, don’t tell!

[oliviagoldberg]

↳INSTAGRAM: @.LIVlaughlove uploaded a photo

grabbing takeout food and heading home for a night of cuddles and movies with my boy @macthereid 💛

[macthereid]

@macthereid: @.LIVlaughlove Best hangover antidote x

[elliebellysmith]

@.ElizabethSmith: @.LIVlaughlove @macthereid Awww, my favorite people! 💖 Where was my invite? Hehe xxx

[elliebellysmith]

macthereid·:

I said would’ve - like, I would’ve - please stop talking about masturbating and calling me daddy when my dick is hard. That’s the third stop - stop talking about wanking. What happened to my sweet and innocent best friend?

When your... what?! Wait, really? Seriously? Reid! Firstly, you started it, so... you can’t be mad! Secondly, I am still·sweet! Sweet girls can wanna have sex with their hto DILFy best friends too! And thirdly, I was kinda teasing at first but if you’re hard and I’m actually kinda accidentally turned on then maybe we should stop now. Or fix that? Oh my gosh, you’ve corrupted me!·

[elliebellysmith]

macthereid·:

Alright, this conversation is actually incredibly fucking frustrating in more than one way. And I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not, because I was joking - I think. And now you’re talking about my cock and looking all sweet and shit while doing so.·

Well, i’m frustrated too so that makes two of us! You cannot tell a girl who has never·had an orgasm away from her own hand, and who hasn’t·C-U-M in 10 years that you’re gonna make her do just that if you’re kidding, babe. But, noted! Things Reid has told me to stop·doing today: Do not call Reid·daddy – check! Do not talk about Reid’s penis – check!·

[elliebellysmith]

macthereid·:

Ha… maybe it’s not a good idea to have that on the table. Considering, the past we have that I learned about all of five minutes ago. I could give you pointers, though. ‘Cause ten years is just fucking sad. 

Jeeeeez! He’ll sleep with half of New York, but not his bestie that he just told needs to get laid? The same bestie you just told you would’ve made C-U-M? You have a bad attitude, Reidy-pops! But, when you say pointers do you mean tips? Or do you mean your ti– nevermind. That’s yours and Callie’s influence shining through. 

[elliebellysmith]

macthereid·:

Okay, well, for what it’s worth, I wish it wasn’t… what it is. I would’ve loved you like crazy, El.·

And I definitely would’ve made you cum.·

Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve, huh? But, hey! Never say never, right, stud?·

[elliebellysmith]

macthereid·:

I’m not mad, baby. Just, maybe it would’ve made a difference. Maybe you wouldn’t have had to marry that jerk. And maybe you would’ve cum sometime in the past ten years. But, er, no. It’s not bad at all, Ellie. Just a little strange to hear.·

I mean, if there’s one thing that the female population of New York has taught me, it’s that I definitely·would have – ahem – cum. But, I’m sorry. For... not telling you, I guess? But you couldn’t have changed what happened, baby. You couldn’t save me by pretending to love me back when we had no idea he’d be the way he was! It’s just... it is what it is.·

[elliebellysmith]

macthereid·:

I didn’t know. How would I have known? I just thought he was a - a fucking bitch. That he fucking hated me because we were… we were so close. Everyone didn’t know, because I didn’t know. 

Sorry, I’m a little fucking shaken by this revelation coupled with the fact you said ‘orgasm’. 

Wait, are you mad? What difference would it have made, Reid. C’mon, sugar, is it really that bad? The idea that I loved you?

Yeah, baby, an orgasm. I had one,once, in a time before Kyle. A time when I was better acquainted with my hand. Never again since, though. But I’m rambling because I think I maybe ruined this friendship with... the past?

[elliebellysmith]

macthereid·:

Don’t be silly, babe. You weren’t…·‘cause you were with someone else. That can’t be true. You’re sure looking at the past with rose colored glasses, huh?

‘Cause you don’t screw around. And I don’t know if you’re really content. I just don’t want you to settle, especially if you’re settling for… well, me.

Wait, Reid, you’re serious? You didn’t know? I was in deep, c’mon! Everyone knew. Why do you think Kyle hated you so much? I only went to homecoming with him because Cassidy What’s-her-face said you had asked her. Embarrassing, right?·

Sure, but I don’t wanna screw around either. I don’t want any of it. Damn it, if I can muster up the energy to finally give myself a freakin’ orgasm, then I’d be set for life, Reid. I’m fine. And, for the record, if I was with you? I would never be settling. You are perfect, Reid Macnamara.

[elliebellysmith]

macthereid·:

You - you mean when we were kids? Because, obviously, I love you too, El. From the moment we met I fell - best fucking friends. You and me. I just think the idea of spending the rest of your life alone and shackled to me is sad. You could have more kids if you wanted, do marriage the way you want to - any son of a bitch would be lucky to love you.

I mean, kids·is one way to put it, I guess, but I was also old enough that I was making·a kid at the time. But sure. I mean, I was in love, Reid, more than friends! But it is what it is. I just– if you’re so content never dating, just screwing around, why can’t I be? I don’t want more kids. I don’t want marriage. I just wanna be. I’m so gosh darn tired.·

[elliebellysmith]

macthereid·:

So, what? We just… grow old together, platonic soulmates? I can’t decide if that’s… ideal or blow-your-brains-out goddamn depressing.

I’m gonna be with you forever no matter what, babe. What I want - all I ever wanted was for you to be happy.

I mean, falling in love with you would kinda be the easiest task in the world Reid. I’ve done it once before, doofus! But– wait, depressing, why? Ouch. 

Yeah, well. I am happy. Here. With you.

[elliebellysmith]

macthereid·:

Sugartits is a great nickname and I won’t give it up, feels fucking fitting. Or so I’ve heard. But it is kind of jarring when you go from calling me daddy to a good Dad. But hey, you could meet a guy that’s nice and could also fuck you sideways. I got every hope in that happening for you. Even if I worry about you flying the nest, we all gotta move on sometime. You from that asshole and me, uh, well, I’ll just keep skirt chasing.

Fitting? Heard from who exactly?! Aw, heck. Babe, you’re very... sweet? I’m actually not sure if this is sexy or sweet or mortifying, but I appreciate it. I just... don’t want to. Besides, if you’re not moving on from anything, why should I? Hm? Why can’t I just stay with you forever? Grow old and insufferable. I’ll stay well out of the way of your, ick, skirt chasing, of course! 

[elliebellysmith]

macthereid​ :

Never recover? I’m a nice guy, El. A hell of a nice guy, don’t listen to those other women. You gotta get out there sometime, sugartits. It would be selfish for me to keep you all to myself. Also, I’m not sure I like Callie’s words in your mouth.

Well, don’t give me all the credit. You also raised the terror. In fact, you did a lot more raising than I did, pumpkin.

Yeah, and a nice guy who, ahem, is very skilled in the bedroom is kinda hard to beat. Or, so I’ve heard. Ew! Sugartits, really babe? Ha! Reid Macnamara, are you telling me you don’t like it when I call you daddy?

Yeah, but you were there! Every step of the way, baby. Best dad any kid could ever ask for.

[elliebellysmith]

macthereid​ :

I wouldn’t call myself a Sex God, maybe like, something lesser than a God. Royalty? Anyway, we’re getting fucking sidetracked. Safe sex, El. You’re gonna be getting out there again, right? You’re still young and cute as hell. Dry spell’s gotta end sometime.

Can’t I be a current U-I-L-F? I’m pretty content just being a hot Father figure type, with babysitter, sugary sweets enabler privileges and no responsibility.

No, but I did! Not that I’ve had sex with you, but I’ve met enough women who have to know that I would probably never recover, babe. But, no. I like being dry. It’s safe, no clouds and thunderstorms for me. Just me, Dyl and Daddy Mac, as the tiktok kids and Callie are calling you!

I mean, you’re that too! You’re an Everything I-L-F right now, pumpkin! But you are definitely way more responsible than you give yourself credit for. Dyl wouldn’t be the tiny terror that he is today if we didn’t have you.

[elliebellysmith]

macthereid​:

Doesn’t really check out, because only one of us here made a baby, Ellie. Guess maybe you got that safe sex chat too late, huh? Maybe I ought to teach you a thing or two in that area.

I wouldn’t say bullied, more like, lightly teased. I’m trying to build a fucking brand here as a rogueish daredevil, not a doofus.

I meant your track record of being, y’know, a Sex God and my dry spell of having had zero sex since I left Satan himself. Wait– rewind, what exactly are you planning to teach me?!

Well, the good news is that you have a very impressive resumé of, hmm– Sex God? Check! Doofus? Check! Cutest man ever? Check! Aaaand, rogueish daredevil? Check, check, check! Add future DILF to your roster and you could be, like, whatever the Hot Guy variation of an EGOT is!

[elliebellysmith]

macthereid​: 

Aw, El. You know that isn’t in the cards for me - watching your little terror grow up put me off for life. Nah, I’m just kidding, sugar. Don’t look so horrified - but ‘cutest man alive’ might be a bit of an overstatement, one of the girls said I was ‘kind of a doofus’ today. 

Oh, please! You guys are a match made in Hell. If anybody should be put off of baby making, it’s me. And if your track record and my dry spell are anything to go by, that kinda checks out. But do not let a thirteen year old bully you, Reid. You are a strong, independent, adorable man. Besides, I never said you couldn’t be both the cutest man alive and kind of a doofus, babe!