a short sarawatine fanfic about the moment that Sarawat plays Tine the song “closer” by Scrubb to record for the music club!!
The translation of the song Closer used in the fic is by Tas Tayapongsak. The source is: lyricstranslate.com/en/close-klai-close.html
Translation of 'ใกล้ (Klai)' by Scrubb (สครับบ์) from Thai to Englis
The title is also called: Closer
Tine always holds his body in a very specific way, those close to him know. He seems like he’s carefree and exuberant, and all over the place, but the truth is he’s quiet, he’s deliberate and he never moves without one hundred percent intending to.
Tine is a tightly wound string, a well oiled gate hinge, that closes and opens without making any noise and only when it wants to.
Despite his needling and whining about Tine’s lifestyle habits or college caprices, Type knows this. Phuak and Ohm have an idea of it, but Fong’s the one who truly knows it for sure in their friend group.
More than anyone else, the one person who is the most aware of it is none other than Sarawat Guntithanon. And that’s because this deliberate hesitancy of Tine’s annoys him. It makes him sad. It makes him exasperated. It makes him feel like he doesn’t have hope with the beautiful boy.
Every single time Sarawat genuinely tries to flirt with Tine, Tine doesn’t hesitate to laugh it off and pretend Sarawat’s kidding. When Sarawat claps a hand on Time’s shoulder, the shoulder goes completely still, like there are a million gears inside that turn for the specific purpose of making sure that shoulder doesn’t move. When Sarawat leans in close to Tine’s face, it’s like the very air itself around Tine freezes— and Tine’s face doesn’t get any closer. Even his smile is a shield, his chatter a diversion. People thought Sarawat was hard to get to know? Have they met TINE? Or more accurately, talked to him for more than twenty minutes?
Tine was relaxing on Sarawat’s bed when they were supposed to record the video. He was completely relaxed, but that was only, Sarawat realized exasperatedly and mournfully, because he was seated all the way on the other side, far away from Sarawat.
Sarawat rolled his eyes, pressed the record button, and started to play the opening chords to “Closer”.
“Hey, you’re actually playing it!” Tine exclaimed happily, clambering over the bed to sit nearer to Sarawat with joyful eyes.
Seriously? Sarawat thought, frowning. It took forever for him to get Tine to even crack a genuine grin right at him, but even just the opening chords of Scrubb made Tine grin like that?
It’s not fair, he thought, and continued to play the opening chords. Then the verse came, and he started singing, feeling the residual warmth in the air from the adorable annoying boy sitting close to him.
“So close that I can't say a word
It's so close that I can't see anyone else
When we're so close that I want to hold my breath
It's so close that there's only you and me today”
In between the music, Sarawat heard some rustling, and he glanced to his right to see that to his surprise, Tine had parked himself right next to him and was now staring at Sarawat play with bright eyes and rapt attention. Sarawat just looked back at his guitar and kept singing, or else he’d be overwhelmed by the object of his affection looking at him like he hung the stars in the sky.
“Maybe it's because we met by accident
Maybe it's because we're together by accident
Because you have never known how it will be
and I have never understood if it were to be like that”
While singing, Sarawat heard a soft “thump” and he now saw that Tine had laid down on the bed with his chin touching the cover and his face cupped by his hands, still staring up at Sarawat with full attention, but his eyes were half-lidded now.
“If we never talked a word, today no one will understand
That day you have never, and I also have never, known how it will be
Tine had been quietly singing along, but the words slowly reduced in volume as Sarawat kept singing. He wanted to see what was happening, but he forced himself to keep his eyes on his guitar.
“There's two path to walk, and we shall decide
which way we shall go, to stay or to leave”
After he sang these lines, Sarawat felt a movement near his leg, and then something brushing against his thigh— he glanced down and saw it was the top of Tine’s head that was barely touching his thigh. Tine was lying down curled all the way around Sarawat playing the guitar, like in his sleepiness he wanted to get as close to the music as possible. Which is exactly what it is, mused Sarawat. It’s not Sarawat himself, it’s just the Scrubb music. Ouch, he thought. That hurts. He continued on to finish the song, with the last few lines:
If we never talked a word, today no one will understand
That day you have never, and I also have never, known how it will be
then shall we walk onward?
The last chord finished and all that was heard after was Tine’s slow, even breathing. He was fast asleep, and his head went from brushing Sarawat’s leg to fully being pressed against it. The warmth was comforting, but still frustrating, as Sarawat knew that was all he was going to get.
After subconsciously hearing no music, Tine started stirring out of sleep. He opened his eyes, blinking slowly. He raised his head a little, and grabbed Sarawat’s hand— Sarawat’s heart skipped a beat— but he only moved Sarawat’s hand back to his guitar.
“Can you play more Scrubb, Wat? Please?” Tine asked softly, sweetly and sleepily.
Usually Sarawat would bend over backward to do anything for Tine, and especially when he asked in that soft and quiet voice, but his annoyance and sadness over the guardedness the other had finally came to a boil.
“It took playing an entire Scrubb song for you to be so comfortable with me, and sit next to me for a long time and to trust me. I have done so much to try to make you comfortable, but apparently there’s nothing I can do, only Scrubb can!” Sarawat finished, trying to sound annoyed but failing, and just sounding heartbroken.
“...I know now.” Tine said quietly, so quiet Sarawat almost didn’t hear it.
“What?” Sarawat said, utterly confused, furrowing his brows.
“I don’t want to walk onward. I want to stay,” Tine whispered quietly.
“Are you just quoting the song back at me?” Sarawat asked, even more confused.
Tine looked at Sarawat and this was the first time his eyes were completely honest. Then, Tine reached for the guitar on Sarawat’s lap.
“I’m not going to play you any more Scr-“Sarawat’s sentence was cut off as Tine carefully lifted the guitar and laid it on the far side of the bed, away from both of them.
Then Tine slowly clambered back to Sarawat, whose lap was now empty without the guitar in it, and laid his head right on Sarawat’s thigh, extending the rest of his body such that he was using Wat’s thigh as a pillow for his head.
Sarawat just looked down at Tine’s face, his face frozen in shock.
Tine reacted by calmly reaching for and taking one of Sarawat’s hands, holding it high while looking up at Sarawat with dark brown eyes.
“The Scrubb was just an excuse,” Tine said softly. His sleep-clouded eyes cleared instantly when he said that. Tine then took Sarawat’s hand and then pressed it against the side of his own face. Sarawat, still frozen, managed to keep it there as Tine let go. Who was this brave, daring, beguiling stranger and what random music storage closet had he shoved Tine into and then stole his identity?
Minutes passed, and Tine’s head became heavier and heavier on Sarawat’s thigh. Tine curled inward, so that his face was pressed into Sarawat’s shirt on one side, and cupped by Sarawat’s hand on the other, and then instantly fell asleep, the guitar, the whole time, all the way on the other side of the bed. It wasn’t the guitar, it was Sarawat, Sarawat grinned, eyes alight in silent joy, careful not to shake awake the beautiful, oblivious, but unexpectedly brave boy that was currently sleeping on his lap. It was Sarawat, not Scrubb, not that damn guitar, not the fake dating plot— it was Sarawat, that Tine looked at, and finally decided, to get closer to.
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