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꩜ pairing: Ellie Williams x fem reader (No use of y/n)
꩜ content warnings: smoking, drinking, suggestive themes, evil parents:(
꩜ Author’s note: holy fuck… it’s finally here after almost a month (i apologize), i think ill take a small break or post a one-shot while i write the next chapter<3 okay luv u angels enjoy! this one was a roller coaster!
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The advertisement looked sketchy at first, you weren’t even sure if it was recent or it had been up for months now, but you were desperate to find a job. Your options were running low, including your savings.
All because your parents were throwing a tantrum, and you’d finally had enough of their bullshit, so you packed your stuff and left to prove them wrong, that you figure things out on your own, without them. You weren’t a kid anymore. You were freshly graduated from college and all you wanted now was freedom and independence, and for your parents to stop controlling every single part of your life.
Since you were a kid, they had it all perfectly laid out. Calculated. What you’d wear, what you’d say, how you’d behave. God, even who would you like. And when they found out you were into girls, thanks to those stupid rumors in your freshman year of Highschool about you making out with girls under the bleachers (which weren’t entirely false) they lost it. The principal had called them in. You still remembered the way their faces dropped like the world had ended.
They didn’t take it well at first, but eventually they just accepted it wasn’t going away, so they redirected their grip, controlling any other side they could take, college, extracurriculars, everything else. So when you finally graduated, you made it your mission to run away from that life, and start over. Getting an apartment was the first step, it wasn’t that hard, you connected with a girl from a facebook group looking for a roommate. Sally was her name. She was sweet but kind of serious, two years older than you, working some corporate job and seemingly having her life put together.
The second step was telling your parents.
They didn’t say anything at first, praying that you were joking. But when you showed them the apartment keys jiggling in your hand they lost it. Your mother broke down crying, screaming about how ungrateful you were. followed by a long silent look of disapproval from your dad. Then came the guilt trip, the list of all the things they had sacrificed and done to raise you, only for you to “turn your back on them.” It was pointless, really. Fighting wouldn’t get you anywhere. So all you did was sit there silently and pack your stuff as quickly as you could.
They took away your car keys, like that would stop you. You called an uber as tears threatened to spill, quickly wiping them away when you heard the driver pull into your front lawn.
They didn’t even say goodbye, just stared at you as you left.
A part of you was sad this is how it had to go.
The other part felt free.
Not having to live under their conditions, their curfews, their rules. It was all up to you now, and yeah, it was scary. But you had been waiting for this moment your entire fucking life.
The bell jingled above the door as you entered the diner. It was packed with families, old couples and some loners hunched over their coffee mugs. The floors were sticky beneath your shoes, and the place smelled like syrup and grease. You made your way to the counter, and spotted what seemed to be a waitress wearing a ridiculous outfit. You asked her if the manager was around, showing her the “we are hiring” ad you had seen online.
She smiled kindly and told you to wait.
You sat on the empty stool while you waited, ironing your clothes and flattening the creased resume sheet against the counter. Your breath hitched when a woman in her fifties leaned on the counter in front of you. The small nametag on her shirt read ‘Maria’. Her gray eyes were sharp, piercing your soul as you stared at her, like she could read you in seconds.
“Hello sweetie. You here for the waitress job?” she asked softly, her voice less intimidating than her stare.
“Yes—well for anything you have available,” you said. “I saw the ad online, and I’m desperate.” Your voice cracked, but you couldn’t break down just now. This was your last shot, and there was no way you could go back home to your parents. “I’m a fast learner, and I’m good with people most of the time. I studied business at college—I could be a good addition to the team. I just…I really need the job.” You said, fidgeting with the rings on your fingers.
Maria gave you a tender look. Not the pity kind of look, more of a curious one.
“And why are you here, then? she asked. “Why this place?”
The question caught you off guard. It wasn’t invasive, it was caring.
“Well I—” You exhaled. “I wanted to start fresh. Get away from my crazy ass family, and prove that I don’t need them. Mostly to myself than to them. I don’t have much experience in this area, but I’m willing to work hard. I don’t care about the hours, I just need a sign that this can work out.”
Maria stayed quiet for a minute, like she was reconsidering everything, but when she finally spoke up her voice was firm and steady.
“Alright sweetheart. You start tomorrow at 8am sharp, I need you here early so I can walk you through everything. Tasks, scheduling, and pay.” Her eyes narrowed a little.” Don’t make me regret it.”
You blinked at her, stunned, as a relieved smile bloomed across your face. The weight you’d been carrying for weeks seemed to melt off. Maria smiled back and slid a form toward you. You filled it out with trembling fingers.
You stood up, dizzy with relief, and turned around to leave.
But on your way out, you bumped into someone—a girl around your age, hoodie slouched low over her head like she didn’t want to be seen. You didn’t catch much of her face, just a few strands of auburn hair sticking out from under the hood. She muttered a quick sorry and slipped past you toward the counter. You didn’t think much of it. Not then.
You stepped into the cold air outside, hands in your pockets, the note from Maria crumpled in your hand.
It wasn’t over yet. You were going to be okay. And you couldn’t afford to fuck this up.
Now, the diner felt like a second home. You moved through the kitchen with ease, checking stock, flipping switches, restocking napkin dispensers, keeping everything running smoothly before the real chaos of the lunch rush began.
You liked mornings. Liked the quiet. Liked being alone with your thoughts…except today, your thoughts were anything but quiet. They were noisy and burning. Your mind kept spinning all around her, like she was the sun, and you were just orbiting helplessly in her pull. Jesus, you even made nerdy space references in your head now.
There was still a hum in your chest, soreness and warmth rushed through your veins in the best way. Your thighs ached faintly, a quiet, secret reminder of her. Your lips were still a little puffy. And when you accidentally brushed the spot behind your ear with your fingers, you swore you could still feel her mouth there, like she had left something permanent behind.
Your stomach flipped just remembering it all over again. How she looked at you like you were made of stars or cosmic dust.
And god, your heart… Your heart felt like it had been cracked open. Not in a painful way. Just… exposed. Wide and aching and open, and entirely hers to hold.
You hadn’t slept much. After you curled around her, her breathing slowed. You just watched her. Tracing the small scar near her ribs. Letting your fingers drift along the lines of the fern tattoo on her forearm. You didn’t speak for a while, after all, it had all been said with touch.
But now, with morning sunlight pouring through the diner windows, the silence felt a little heavier.
You left a note before slipping out, folded and left on her desk rereading it three times before leaving.
You turned back toward the coffee machine and checked the brew. The smell filled the air, rich and comforting, and you tried to lose yourself in the routine of things, stacking mugs, cleaning the counter, keeping your hands busy.
But your mind never stopped spinning.
Had she woken up yet? Had she read it? Was she thinking about you the way you were thinking about her?
The bell over the door jingled. And your heart jumped before you could stop it.
You turned around and there she was.
Ellie stepped in, hoodie slung low on her shoulders, camera bag hanging from one side, and a smug little smile already tugging at her lips. Her hair was a bit damp, and her eyes had that slow, sleepy glint that made your knees weak.
She looked so real. So casual. Like she hadn’t kept you up all night with the memory of her hands and her mouth and the soft way she whispered your name. And yet, seeing her there, framed by the morning light and smirking like she already knew what she’d done to you?
You were gone all over again.
“Morning,” you said, casually, as if your heart wasn’t flipping inside your chest.
Ellie tilted her head, eyes sweeping over you from head to toe in that annoyingly slow, intentional way. “Didn’t expect to wake up alone.”
You rolled your eyes, but your smile betrayed you. “Didn’t want to ruin your beauty sleep.”
“You think I’m beautiful?”
“I think you drool in your sleep.”
Ellie grinned, wandering toward her usual booth. “Missed your face,” she said quietly, almost under her breath, but it still landed straight in your chest.
You turned away before she could see the way your cheeks were heating up. You busied yourself with pouring coffee, letting the silence between you stretch long and comfortable.
Ellie watched you from the booth, her fingers drumming softly against her coffee cup. You slid a plate in front of her. Chocolate chip pancakes, scrambled eggs and crispy bacon without asking. You knew her order by heart.
“Didn’t even let me ask for it,” she said, eyeing the plate.
You shrugged, suppressing a smirk. “You’re a creature of habit.”
“Guess I am.” She poked at the eggs with her fork. “You left early.”
“I had work,” you said lightly, folding your arms across your chest. “Did you get my note?”
Her eyes flicked up to meet yours. “Yeah.” Her voice dropped, a little rougher now. “Made me smile like an idiot.” You looked away, chewing on your bottom lip.
Then she added, “I didn’t want you to leave.”
Your chest pulled tight. You couldn’t tell if it was the way she said it, soft, like it embarrassed her, or the way it made your entire body hum.
You nodded slowly, brushing your fingers over the edge of the table. “Next time I’ll wake you.”
“I wouldn’t have minded,” she said, gaze still on you.
You grabbed the coffee pot and gave her a refill. “Eat your breakfast, Williams.”
She grinned, and something in your chest fluttered.
A few minutes later the bell above the door jingled again, and you turned to see a vibrant Dina striding in, hair pulled back messily, sunglasses pushed to the top of her head even though it was cloudy outside.
She spotted Ellie instantly and made a beeline for her, flopping into the booth seat in front of her. “Morning sunshine.”
“Dina,” Ellie said, not even surprised.
“Dude, I texted you like three times,” Dina said. Then she turned her head toward you, her expression lighting up. “Oh hey, you’re here too. Cute.”
You narrowed your eyes. “I mean, I kinda work here so…”
“Ha. Ha.” Dina leaned forward on the table like she was about to tell a secret. “Anyway… party at my place. It’s happening.”
“What kind of party?” Ellie asked, raising a brow.
“Massive orgy” Dina said dramatically. “Halloween. Costumes. Alcohol. Fake blood. Dozens of people”
You blinked. “Sounds like you’ll have to clean vomit off your couch for days.”
“Ew,” Dina said, nose scrunching. “You guys are disgusting. Perfect match.”
Ellie choked on her coffee.
You raised an eyebrow. “Who’s coming?”
“Well obviously you guys, Jesse, some college classmates and whoever you guys want to invite. ”
You snorted, shaking your head. “And how will we fit in your apartment may I ask?”
“I already bribed my landlord for the terrace babe,” Dina addressed, pointing a finger between you. “No excuses.”
Ellie gave her a long, dramatic sigh. “What if someone falls over and dies?”
“Well I’ll hope it’s you,” Dina snarled, throwing a piece of bacon at Ellie.
Your eyes met Ellie’s across the table. “Alright,” you said, trying not to grin. “Count us in.”
The three of you kept chatting for a bit, brainstorming halloween costumes and Dina ranting about decorations. You excused yourself as you returned to the back of the diner, continuing with your checkup and restock.
You stacked some empty napkin boxes and double-checked stock before a soft knock interrupted your focus. It was Ellie standing in the doorframe, her slim figure silhouetted by the hallway light hovered yours as you approached her.
“I wasn’t heading out without a goodbye kiss y’know” she said with a lazy smirk, but you could hear the truth under it. She meant it.
You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to suppress the stupid smile that was spreading across your face. “You know Maria banned you from being back here right?” you teased wrapping your arms around her neck.
“She doesn’t have to know I was here,” Ellie whispered like she was on a secret mission, tugging the loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Besides I have a meeting with Mr. Davis and I need emotional support.”
“Oh, Els—it’ll be fine, you doubt yourself too much. What’s the meeting about?” you asked, trying to distract her from her self sabotaging thoughts.
“He wants to show me some venues for the gallery. I told him to pick one, but he’s insisting I see them in person, so…” She murmured, her fingertips tracing small circles on your waist, grounding herself. “I’ll see you after work?”
“I didn’t scare you off yesterday?” you mumbled quietly, pulling her closer.
She smirked, “If anything I think it made me more obsessed with you.” And with that she closed the distance between you two, pulling you in like you were the only thing keeping her sane right now. The kiss was slow, tender, but firm like she didn’t want to let go.
“Okay, enough,” you whispered breathlessly as you pulled back. “You’ll actually get me fired if Maria comes in.”
“You are no fun,” Ellie pouted. “I better get going before Mr. Davis starts blowing up my phone. I’ll see you later.”
“Byeeee,” you sang after her as she walked away, clutching her camera bag in one hand, leaving you leaning against the wall with your pulse still racing.
When you stepped back into the main dining area, the shift had picked up a bit. Two new tables filled, more coffee cups clinking. Dina was still lounging comfortably in the same booth she had previously shared with Ellie, legs stretched across the seat, scrolling through her phone like she had all the time in the world.
You raised a brow, approaching the table. “Thought you left too.”
Without looking up, she replied, “Wow. Just because I’m not Ellie, I don’t get the special treatment?”
“I met you way before she did, just saying,” she added, glancing up with a shit eating grin.
You snorted, grabbing the coffee pot and refilling her mug. “You want anything else, or just planning to hang around?”
“Hmm…” she tapped her finger on the table. “Surprise me. I trust you.”
You scribbled a quick note for the kitchen and leaned against the counter nearby, arms folded, as you waited. Dina took a long sip of her coffee, watching you over the rim of her mug.
“So,” she said eventually, voice just a little too casual. “You and Ellie, huh?”
She grinned, leaning closer across the table. “Don’t Dina me. You’re glowing. Your voice has a new softness. And don’t think I didn’t notice how she disappeared back there before she left. She’s a shit liar. What’s going on?”
“Oh my god,” she whispered, her mouth falling open dramatically. “You slept together.”
“Jesus—would keep your voice down!” you hissed, glancing at the nearby customers.
She gasped like you’d just confirmed the juiciest gossip of the year. “You did! You guys totally fucked!”
You groaned, covering your face with your hand. “Please shut up. For real.”
She leaned closer, practically bouncing in her seat. “Okay, okay, I’m calm. I’m cool. I’m chill.”
You gave her a look. She waited two whole seconds before whispering again, “So... are you, like, a thing now?”
You opened your mouth. Then closed it.
You hadn’t even asked yourself that.
Your brain scrambled, searching for the right words, for something concrete. But all you found was the way Ellie kissed you last night. The way she had looked at you. The way she held you like you were something she was afraid to lose.
“We haven’t really talked about that,” you said softly.
Dina tilted her head, “Oh.”
The silence stretched for a second. And just like that, doubt started seeping in. Quietly. In the corners of your mind. You stared down at the counter, fingers tracing invisible shapes over the laminate.
What if it had just been one night? What if she regretted it? What if she didn’t want anything more?
Dina was quiet for once. She sat back a little, her teasing expression softening.
“She likes you, you know,” Dina said, “She really does, but you know Ellie. She’s just… slow sometimes. Emotionally constipated, even.”
You nodded slowly, chest tightening.
“I mean, look,” she continued, voice gentler now. “I don’t know what’s going on in her head, but I do know she doesn’t let people in easily. And the way she looks at you?”
“I just…” you began, then stopped. Swallowed. “I don’t want to get my hopes up if we’re not on the same page.” You swallowed hard, that ache in your chest tightening. “I… don’t want to fuck this up.”
Dina reached across the table, giving your hand a small squeeze. “Then don’t, and maybe talk to her. When you’re ready.”
You smiled weakly, lips curving into a faint smile as you turned and disappeared into the kitchen, though your heart was still a mess. Her food was ready, a stack of pancakes, hash browns, and scrambled eggs. You slid the plate onto her table a minute later, topping off her coffee. “Here.”
She clapped her hands together, dramatically gasping. “You do love me.”
You gave her a dry look. “Don’t push it.”
But she was already too deep in her own world to care. “Okay, so here’s the plan, string lights across the terrace, maybe jack-o-lanterns by the stairs, fake cobwebs if I can find any that don’t look like trash. I’m thinking spooky but not cheesy. Jesse’s on music, but I’m stealing the aux before he kills us from boredom.”
She rambled on, waving her fork for emphasis between bites of pancake.
You tried to focus. Really, you did, but your mind had wandered the second you stepped away from the table.
The way her lips felt on yours just half an hour ago. The way her voice had dipped when she said, “I think it made me more obsessed with you.” The way she’d kissed you like she didn’t want to let go. Like maybe she wouldn’t.
But… then again, she hadn’t said what this meant.
It’s not like you could blame it on her, or you. The topic just had never come up, maybe because you were both so absorbed in each other that you didn’t even have time or space to think about it.
You swallowed hard, still standing by the booth, arms folded across your chest like a shield. Dina was talking about costume contests now. “I was thinking Lara Croft for me, or maybe cat woman, but I don’t know if it’s too basic—” Her voice sounded far away.
Your thoughts were too loud. Was this just casual?
It didn't feel casual. Not when she looked at you like that. Not when she held you like her hands were memorizing your entire body. Not when she kissed you like it was the first time and the last time all at once.
But she hadn’t said anything this morning. No “what are we now.” No “do you want more.” Just soft touches. A goodbye kiss. That smug little smile.
And you wanted to believe that was enough. Yet you couldn’t help wondering if you’d built it all up in your head.
You stared at the coffee pot behind the counter, jaw tight. It was too much to feel this much and still not know where you stood.
“Earth to you?” Dina waved her fork in front of your face.
“I said,” she repeated, “you’re helping me decorate, right?”
You hesitated. “Yeah. Sure.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You good?”
You nodded automatically. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
You were spiraling, quietly. Smiling through it. Nodding at Dina while your chest felt like it was folding in on itself.
You loved that night with Ellie. You wanted more. But now that it happened, all you could think was if she wanted more too.
Dina watched you for a beat, chewing slowly, like she was considering dialing it down. “Hey,” she said softly. “Don’t spiral. If it’s eating you up that bad… you should just ask her.”
You nodded again, unsure if you meant it.
Because what if asking ruined it? What if putting it into words made it less real?
What if she didn’t want what you wanted?
On the other side of town, the air was cold and Ellie was already standing near the entrance of the building when Mr. Davis arrived, clipboard in hand, black coat neatly pressed despite the wind outside.
“Miss Williams,” he greeted, offering a handshake. “Good to see you.”
Ellie returned the gesture, adjusting the strap of her camera bag. “You can just call me Ellie, y’know.”
He chuckled. “Alright Ellie, follow me, I’ve got a few venues I’d like to show you. We’ll start with the smaller ones.”
The first place was a renovated industrial loft, with high ceilings and exposed brick walls, the windows were a plus, it gave a beautiful view of the city, but Ellie wasn’t a fan of the exposed pipelines taking away more attention than the actual photos. Mr. Davis walked a few steps ahead, pointing at various spots along the walls where the pictures might hang, already rattling off ideas.
“How’s the creative process going, by the way?” he asked over his shoulder.
Ellie shrugged slightly, walking beside him. “It’s going. Still working on the final series. I've got more photos than I know what to do with, but somehow I keep going back to the same ones.”
“That’s not a bad thing,” he said, scribbling something in his notes. “Sometimes we’re drawn to what we can’t explain. Stick with it. You’ll find the right throughline.” He glanced sideways at her. “Speaking of, I need you to prepare a speech for the exhibition, something simple, a little story about the work or what the collection represents to you.”
Ellie made a face. “God. I’d rather die.”
Mr. Davis snorted. “It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be you.”
His words lingered on Ellie’s mind for a second, she didn’t have the slightest idea of what felt like her at the moment, when all her thoughts were occupied by you, and all she did and lived for was you. It felt like her mind wasn’t hers anymore, since you roamed it for months now, and her heart wasn’t hers, if it was completely beating for you.
The second venue was more polished, white walls, adjustable lighting rigs already in place. Ellie took a few notes but kept quiet, hands jammed in her hoodie pockets, eyes flicking occasionally to the glass paneled ceiling. Her mind kept drifting back to last night, to your smile, to the lingering taste of your mouth.
“I think this one might be my favorite one,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest, “It’s got amazing lighting, and the walls don’t take all the attention away.”
“Wait until you see the next one dear, it’ll blow your mind.” The old man said cheerfully.
When they finally reached the third venue, Ellie’s jaw almost hit the floor. It was a wide open room with massive arched windows. The wooden floors creaked softly beneath their steps as they walked deeper inside. The place felt cozy, maybe due to the warm lighting from the chandeliers, and the curtains that separated the different areas of the venue gave it an interesting touch, almost hauntingly. Ellie admired the place with wide eyes, pulling out the camera from her bag and snapping a few shots, to show you later.
Mr. Davis flipped to another page of his clipboard and cleared his throat.
“It has come to my attention while revising your portfolio, that there’s this girl you always take pictures of, is she a friend of yours?” Mr. Davis asked, the curious gleam in his eye seemed genuine, nothing more than polite curiosity.
However it wasn’t the question itself that struck Ellie, but the words he used.
Were you? Just a friend of hers?
Her breath caught as she moved toward the windows, staring out without really seeing. What has this past month meant? Last night? How your lips were engraved on her skin forever, how your touch was the only warmth she wanted to know.
It rattled her, because she didn’t know where you both stood.
You weren’t girlfriends, but you weren’t exactly best friends either… It had become something more than that.
And yesterday that line had been crossed. Because how was Ellie supposed to go on about her day when she knew how you tasted on her tongue, and how her name sounded spilling out of your mouth like a prayer you only say at night.
She stayed silent for a bit, unsure about her answer. But Mr. Davis was oblivious about the mess going on in her head.
“Yeah,” she finally spoke, voice tighter than she meant. “She's, uh…a very good friend of mine.” She sighed, walking slowly across the room, like it had the answers she desperately needed.
Mr. Davis continued talking about estimated costs and capacity, where people might stand for wine and finger food, but Ellie wasn’t really paying attention anymore.
It scared her, where you both stood. How should she introduce you to people?
Her best friend? girlfriend?
She’d never been good at relationships. The last serious one in college… didn’t exactly end up great. It crashed so bad it made her swear off commitment for a while. Since then, it was casual flings, unspoken boundaries. Nothing too serious.
She hadn’t even asked you what you wanted. What this was.
Because this? This didn’t feel like anything she experienced before. Not when you traced her scars so carefully she forgot they were even there.
And not when she looked at you and thought, God, maybe I’d let this ruin me.
The lunch rush had ended a while ago. you were just sitting by the counter hunched over your notepad, scribbling down a list of the vendors that were due to pay. The sunlight spilled through the diner’s windows in long, syrupy streaks, casting everything in a golden haze, the warm lighting filled the room, cozy and familiar.
A few customers lingered in the booths, sipping on coffee and chatting lazily, but for the most part it was peaceful and quiet. You finished rereading your list for what seemed like the third time, because your brain was too distracted.
You hadn’t heard from Ellie since she left this morning, and while a rational part of you knew she was probably busy with venue hunting, the other part kept thinking she was avoiding you, which was stupid, and you knew it but you couldn’t help overthink it.
You exhaled, trying to shake the thought, and pulled out your phone, clicking on her contact. Her little contact photo was some blurry pic of her flipping off the camera with a smirk. Classic Ellie.
You started typing nervously, fingers moving faster than your brain.
“How did the venue hunting go? Wanna hang out if you’re not too tired?”
Her reply came almost immediately, as if she was waiting for you to text.
“It was fine, took some pictures to show u the one we chose. I’ll be there in 10;)”
You smiled at the screen like an idiot. And then quickly tucked your phone away before anyone could catch the stupid grin spreading on your face.
“You and that damn phone,” Maria called out, emerging from the kitchen with a knowing smirk. “I might as well ban ‘em, y’know.”
You looked up, already grinning. “Hey! I finished all my stuff. Besides, Jasmine’s always on hers too, you just happen to turn around every time I’m on a two minute phone break—”
“The difference,” Maria said, wiping her hands on her apron, “is that Jasmine’s probably scrolling through shoe sales. You? You’re over here smiling like an idiot, texting your little girlfriend.”
“Your girlfriend,” Maria interrupted, holding up her hands. “I know. I know. But she might as well stop acting like it if she doesn’t mean business, alright, hun?”
Your smile faded just slightly, replaced by something more unsure. “Do you think it’s bad we haven’t, like… talked about that? I mean—we literally had sex and—” You stopped yourself, eyes wide. “Oh my god, sorry. That is way too much information. And you’re my literal boss, so I should shut up.”
Maria let out a laugh so loud it startled the customers still nursing their coffees. It was the kind of laugh that made her eyes crinkle and her chest rise with effort.
“Oh, honey,” she said, wiping the tears coming from her eyes. “I think we’re way past that.”
She leaned against the counter, still smiling. “Look, my advice? Talk about it. Clear that shit up before you get in too deep. The sooner the better”
“Yeah, maybe. But… seriously, thank you. I just—I dunno. I guess I needed to hear that.”
Maria’s expression softened. She reached across the counter, and gave your hand a gentle squeeze. “I don’t want to see you hurtin’, sweetheart. Just promise me you’ll figure it out. Maybe not right away, but eventually.”
You nodded, your voice quieter now. “Yeah. I will. I promise.”
The bell above the door jingled and Maria’s gaze flicked toward the entrance.
“Speaking of the devil…” she murmured.
Ellie walked in, her hoodie sleeves pushed halfway up, camera bag slung over her shoulder like always. Her eyes found yours instantly, and that familiar crooked smile tugged at her lips.
“Hey, you,” she said as she reached your side, ruffling your hair playfully. “Miss me?”
You winced, batting her hand away. “Not the hair, come on.”
Maria smirked and started backing toward the kitchen. “I’ll leave you two to it. Oh—and don’t forget to call the vendors tomorrow morning.”
“Yes, boss…” you sang after her.
As soon as she was gone, Ellie turned to you, rubbing a bit of sleep from her eyes. “You ready?”
“Just lemme grab my bag,” you said, slipping behind the counter and ducking into the back. You returned with your jacket and a small brown paper bag in hand.
“What’s that?” Ellie asked as you both stepped out into the crisp evening.
“Leftovers. Maria told me to take the food or she’d haunt my dreams.”
Ellie grinned, reaching out to take the bag as the two of you approached her truck parked just across the street. You climbed into the passenger seat, the door creaking slightly as it shut behind you. Ellie tossed her camera bag in the backseat, set the food carefully between you both, and turned the keys.
The engine rumbled to life, and the stereo crackled with music already queued up, some mellow indie track giving way to a low, thumping beat.
Ellie cranked the volume just a little as you buckled in, one arm resting on the open window, the wind already tugging at loose strands of your hair.
She glanced over at you with a lazy smile, like everything about this moment was right.
“I love when it’s this quiet out,” she said. “Sunset and a cute girl in my passenger seat.”
You turned your head, biting back a grin. “You’re an idiot.”
“Don’t act like you’re not eating it up.”
And as the truck pulled away from the diner, the sky bleeding warm oranges and fading pinks, all the noise in your head dimmed just a little.
The ride to your apartment was calm and quiet, the comfortable and familiar type of quiet, Ellie hummed along to the music, fingers tapping the steering wheel, and every now and then you’d catch her glancing sideways at you, quick and subtle, but it always left your stomach fluttering.
You unlocked the door with one swift motion, Ellie followed you in, immediately kicking off her boots and shedding her hoodie, leaving her in a black tank and worn jeans that hugged just right. You tried not to stare, but failed miserably.
The apartment was dim, cozy. A candle flickered low on the coffee table, meaning Sally was home already, and the smell of cinnamon and garlic from the food filled the air.
“Wanna see the venue pictures I took?” Ellie asked, her hand resting lightly on your waist as you made your way toward the table.
“Yeah, sure. Let’s go to my room so you can use my laptop,” you replied, grabbing the food containers and leading her into your bedroom.
Ellie plugged her camera into the laptop, downloading the photos while you changed into something more comfortable, a mismatched pajama set, soft shorts and a worn in tank top. You settled onto the bed, sitting cross legged beside her, and handed her one of the plastic forks Maria had packed. The two of you dug into your food as Ellie scrolled through the pictures, pointing out angles, potential framing spots, and where her photos would hang.
Her voice was full of excitement. Animated, bright. It made you giddy, watching her speak about something she loved so much.
“What do you think? Be honest.”
“I think it’s perfect,” you said, voice soft. “It’s kinda eerie in a cool way. Like… hauntingly cool.”
“My exact thoughts,” she said, grinning wide. “All the other places were just bland brick boxes with industrial lighting. Made my head hurt.”
“I think this one suits your style perfectly.”
Ellie nudged you gently. “That a compliment?”
“Take it before I take it back.”
She grinned, but her expression softened when you stayed close, chin still tucked near her shoulder. You could feel the heat radiating off her skin.
The next few pictures passed in silence, her hand casually resting near yours, your thighs touching. Eventually, she closed the folder, and the desktop stared back at you both.
“So…” she said slowly. “Dina’s party.”
You sat up a bit. “Right. You have any idea what you’re dressing up as?”
“I don’t think I’ve dressed up for halloween since i was like thirteen.”
You groaned. “You’re so boring.”
Ellie shrugged. “Yeah. Yeah, but my costumes were the shit. Best dressed always.” She started swiping through her gallery, then turned the screen toward you. “Dino Ellie. Age six.”
You squinted at the image, a younger version of her in a massive green foam dinosaur suit, her face barely visible through the mouth of the costume. Her expression was all attitude, her little freckled nose scrunched up, hands on her hips, like she was king of the Jurassic world.
“No way. That’s the cutest photo I’ve ever seen.”
She chuckled. “I wore that three years in a row. Joel was like, ‘You sure you don’t want to try something new?’ and I was like, ‘Dinosaurs are cool forever.’”
You wiped a tear from the corner of your eye, still laughing. “Stubborn since birth I see.”
“Oh, I’m not done.” She flipped to another one, this time she was in a diy astronaut costume, duct tape and a cardboard box mimicking the astronaut gear.
“Is that a motorcycle helmet?”
“Tommy borrowed it for my costume. I took it very seriously.”
You were still giggling when you closed your laptop and tossed it to the side. “Okay, okay, my turn.” you said, grinning. “I’m pulling up my old costume photos. Prepare to be amazed.”
Ellie perked up. “Oh, hell yeah.”
You clicked through a few folders and found a picture from when you were eight, dressed in a sparkly witch costume, complete with a lopsided hat and your face covered in green glitter.
“Oh my god,” Ellie said, leaning in with wide eyes. “You were so serious about that spellcasting.”
“I did,” you said, smug. “Halloween was sacred.”
Then another picture, it was you wearing a skeleton onesie, you were probably like five years old, your mom had painted your face like a skull too, and you were smiling so big, basket full of candy.
“I’m going to cry, you were so cute.”
“Were?” you questioned, brows knitted, but the smile on your face gave you up.
“Okay, okay enough of the baby pictures, we need to focus. What the fuck are we dressing up as?” You said as you opened a new tab and typed in halloween costume ideas.
“Wait you’re serious about dressing up?” Ellie asked.
“Duh. It’s Halloween, come on it will be fun, we can do matching costumes.”
“Yeah no. I’m not painting my face green.”
“Ughh party pooper” you made a dramatic groaning noise and flopped back on your bed, arm thrown over your eyes. “How about pirates? It’s easy.”
“And basic. Everyone is a pirate.” Ellie said, rolling her eyes, face smug.
“You’re impossible. What do you suggest then?” you teased, nudging her leg with your foot.
“You ever watched adventure time?”
“Every gay kid watched adventure time I think.”
“Yeah exactly, we could be Marceline and princess bubblegum—I’d be Marceline obviously.” Ellie peeked at you from under her arm, smirking. “And you could totally pull off the whole ‘pink nerdy princess’ thing.”
You stared at her, heat rushing to your face. “That’s… actually genius.”
Ellie shifted beside you, leaning back against the headboard, arms stretched behind her head. “Obviously, It’d be cute.”
“You think we’d be cute?”
She gave you that infuriating half smile. “I know we would.”
Your stomach flipped. Again. And just like that, the tension that had been bubbling in your chest all day started to soften. All the overthinking and wondering of what this was faded away. Replaced by the image of her lying down beside you, shoulders brushing, her fingers grazing your arm slightly, warm and gently. Normal.
You looked over at her, trying to bite back the smile creeping up your face, but Ellie was already watching you, eyes lazy and soft under the glow of your bedside lamp. She didn’t say a word.
And then, like a devil possessed her, she lunged.
Her fingers dug into your sides, fast and merciless. You shrieked.
“NO—not again Ellie! You know I’m—ticklish.” you gasped, half laughing, half pleading, trying to twist away from her grasp.
Ellie cackled as you writhed beneath her. “Huh? Sorry, I can’t hear you.”
“Ellie pleasee!” you choked out between laughs, eyes watering, clutching her wrist in a weak attempt to save yourself.
Her fingers found your ribs and you damn near screamed.
But suddenly (and thankfully) she stopped. Her body still hovering above yours, breathing a little heavier now, strands of auburn hair falling over her face, while her hands rested gently at your waist, no longer playful. Just…there. Steady.
Her eyes found yours and stayed there. Locked in your gaze, like if she looked away you might vanish into thin air under her grasp. And then, the room got very, very quiet again.
You were both breathless, and she was grinning like the devil, the soft curve of her smile was all you could focus on, until she leaned down slowly and kissed you.
Naturally, the kiss deepened, her body melting into yours, the moment slowing down like the world outside no longer existed. She pulled back just an inch, nose brushing against yours.
“I should go,” she whispered, voice husky. “You’ve got work tomorrow.”
You looked up at her, eyes half lidded, chest rising and falling beneath her.
“…or,” you said quietly, “maybe you could stay.”
You nodded, barely more than a breath. “Yeah. Just sleep. Just… stay.”
Her lips curved into a smile, and she kissed you again. This time slower, and sweeter, like she had been waiting for you to make the call.
“Alright,” she whispered against your lips. “I’ll stay.”
Ellie kicked off her jeans at the foot of the bed, folding them neatly and placing them on top of your chair, flopping back onto the mattress in just her black tank and boxers, arms splayed like a starfish.
You stood by your dresser, slipping into your comfiest pajama shorts and an oversized tee. You caught her eyes trailing lazily over you in the mirror, her gaze unapologetic.
“What?” you said, grinning.
Ellie raised her brows, folding her arms behind her head. “Nothin’. Just appreciating the view.” You threw a pillow at her. She caught it effortlessly and tucked it under her head like she hadn’t just said something that turned your whole body to static.
You made your way to the bathroom and opened the cabinet above the sink. Ellie’s toothbrush was still there. Blue with green stripes, a little chunk missing from the handle, the result of some accidental chewing incident she blamed on “deep focus.”
You held it up, peeking back toward your bedroom. “Still using this one?”
“Unless you’re offering yours,” Ellie called back.
You laughed and passed it to her when she stepped into the doorway, hair a little tousled, tank clinging to her frame. She looked so at ease here, so at home, it made something in your chest bloom.
Both of you brushed your teeth side by side, bumping shoulders occasionally, smiling through minty white foam. It was a quiet kind of intimacy, the type that wrapped around you like a blanket and said you’re safe here.
After rinsing off and wiping down the sink, you flicked off the light and returned to your room. Ellie was already curled on the side of the bed she assigned as hers, one arm thrown casually over your pillow, waiting.
You slid in beside her and didn’t even have to ask, her arms were already there, pulling you in close, her body warm against yours.
For a few minutes, it was just breathing. The soft hum of the night outside. Your fingers trailing gentle patterns on her bare shoulder. Then Ellie spoke, voice low in the dark.
“So…” she started, dragging the syllable out, “last night.”
You snorted into her collarbone. “What about it?”
She hesitated for a beat, then said, “It was… really fucking good.”
Your cheeks burned. “Mhm?”
“You’re unreal, a figment of my imagination probably.”
You pulled back just enough to look at her, to meet her eyes in the faint moonlight that leaked through your window.
“Your imagination is a little fucked up then” you said, lips twitching.
“Oh yeah?” she scoffed. “I wonder what was going through your imagination huh.”
You rolled your eyes, laughing. “Mmm I guess we’ll never know will we?”
She grinned and leaned in to kiss you again, and everytime she kissed you it was like she couldn’t get enough of it. Of you. Of your taste, and your soft lips, and the sweet sounds you made when her tongue slipped past yours.
After a long pause, you settled against her again, resting your head on her chest. You could hear her heartbeat, steady and solid beneath your cheek. Neither of you said anything else about what last night meant. About what this was. And maybe for now it’s how it’s meant to be. Like a secret you both are too scared to tell.
You just laid there, wrapped up in each other, her fingertips drawing shapes on your back, and your arm slung over her waist. Sleep crept in eventually, your last thoughts were of the way her breath hitched when you kissed her collarbone, the look on her face when you showed her your childhood costume, the stupid grin she wore when she saw you at the diner that morning.
You fell asleep like that, limbs tangled and exhausted.
The next morning was a blur, your alarm woke you first, pressing snooze as you laid back down rubbing your hands on your face, when you realized Ellie was lying peacefully beside you, the soft curls that formed on her temple fell beautifully over her face, framing each feature so softly. She looked like an angel. You tried not to move so harshly, to breathe so loudly… But then your alarm went off like a fire drill once again, slicing through the softness.
You groaned immediately. “Fuck—”
Ellie groaned louder. “Five more minutes, please. Please. I’m begging.”
You reached for your phone with one arm still wrapped around her. “Maria will murder me if I’m late. She’ll actually gut me and feed me to the dishwasher.”
Ellie clung tighter to you. “Let her. We lived good lives.”
You tried to wiggle out of her arms. “C’mon, I’ll be fast. You can go back to sleep while I get ready.”
She loosened her grip just slightly, flopping dramatically back against the pillow. “You better come back and kiss me before you leave or I’ll die.”
You rolled your eyes but smiled, climbing out of bed and stretching your arms over your head. You could feel Ellie’s eyes on you.
“You’re stretching in tiny shorts. I’m not made of stone.”
You grabbed your uniform from the dresser, trying to hide your blush as you shuffled to the bathroom. From inside, you could still hear Ellie grumble into your sheets.
By the time you came back out, showered, dressed and bag packed, Ellie was completely knocked out again, her face buried in your pillow, one arm stretched toward the side you’d vacated.
You paused at the door, heart full and aching and soft, and tiptoed back to press a kiss to her temple. “I left my keys on the counter,” you whispered. “Lock up when you leave and bring them to the diner.”
She didn’t stir, just exhaled a soft sigh and turned slightly in her sleep, mumbling your name like it was a dream.
You closed the door behind you, still smiling. Still dizzy from her.
A couple hours later, Ellie finally stirred awake, her limbs were all tangled on your bedsheets, and the weight and warmth of you was long gone by now. Only the faint trace of your perfume lingered in the air, clinging to the pillowcase. She rubbed the sleep off her eyes and blindly reached for her phone sitting on the nightstand, a couple texts from Jesse and Dina, and you, reminding her about the keys.
With a groggy sigh, Ellie sat up, dragged herself out of bed, and padded out of your room in nothing but her black underwear and a wrinkled tank top. She headed toward the bathroom down the hall, still half-asleep.
But just as she rounded the corner, she froze.
Sitting at the kitchen counter with a steaming mug of tea in hand, was your roommate Sally, hunched over her phone, scrolling lazily. Until she looked up and caught sight of Ellie. She blinked, then nearly spit her drink out.
“Rough night, huh?” Sally said, coughing lightly behind her mug.
Ellie’s eyes went wide. That’s when it hit her, she was basically naked.
“Shit—sorry! I thought you weren’t here,” she blurted, instinctively covering her underwear with her arms as her face went beet red.
Sally raised an eyebrow and took a long, unimpressed sip. “Clearly.”
Ellie hovered awkwardly by the wall. “I—yeah, I stayed the night, but we didn’t—like, it wasn’t—”
Sally held up a hand, already shaking her head. “Relax. None of my business what you two do. Just saying… maybe stash a spare set of pajamas in her drawer next time.”
Ellie let out a breathy, nervous laugh, eyes darting down to her bare legs. “Yeah. Good idea. Sorry about that.”
Sally set her mug aside and gave Ellie a long, considering look. “So,” she said casually, “it’s getting serious, I assume? You and her.”
Ellie blinked. “Uh… I mean, I think so?”
“You think so?” Sally raised an eyebrow.
“I—yeah. Yeah. I mean, I hope so,” Ellie said, scratching the back of her neck. “I really like her.”
“Good.” Sally nodded slowly, leaning an elbow on the counter, “I’m just saying, I’m very protective of her. She’s like the little sister I never had.”
“I know,” Ellie said quietly. “I’m not messing around. I care about her. A lot.”
“She cares about you too, y’know,” Sally said, standing up and grabbing her bag from the hook by the door. “So don’t be an idiot.”
“Good,” Sally said, walking to the door. She opened it, then paused to glance back over her shoulder.
“Because if you hurt her, I’ll skin you alive.”
“And lock the door when you leave,” Sally added, stepping out. “She left her keys on the counter.”
The door clicked shut behind her and Ellie let out a long breath she didn’t know she was holding, and ran both hands down her face.
“Jesus fucking christ.” She mumbled to herself, finally making her way to the bathroom, still half dressed and mortified, and also slightly terrified of Sally.
The days that followed blurred into a quiet turmoil.
Ellie threw herself headfirst into the gallery prep; shooting, printing, editing, arranging, emailing, pacing, doubting, overthinking. She barely slept. Her studio became a mess of contact sheets and crumbled prints on the floor. You dropped off takeout more than once, sitting on her couch while she worked in silence, only breaking it to say things like “Do you think this one’s too on the nose?” or “What if no one shows up?”
You reassured her every time, and she’d smile—soft and crooked, but the anxiety didn’t really leave her eyes.
Meanwhile, your schedule had become its own kind of madness. The diner was short staffed again, and you were picking up extra shifts, even if it wasn’t on your tasks, it helped you keep yourself busy. By the time you got home, your feet were aching and your back felt like it had aged ten years. Sometimes, Ellie would pass to say hi, but she always ended up passing out on your couch with her laptop still open on her chest. Other times, you missed her entirely, your hours never quite lining up.
Still, there were small moments.
A shared smoke break on the back of the diner. A lazy dinner eaten cross legged on the floor. A half-asleep kiss on the cheek before either of you could fully register it happened. And the mornings—those rare mornings, when you both woke up in the same bed, tangled and warm, the world quiet around you.
But still…No, what are we? No real talk about anything that mattered. Just small gestures, and nothin’ else.
You noticed it more in the silences. Silences that made your mind get too loud. Like the time you were folding laundry in the living room with Sally..
“She hasn’t been over lately,” she said, not looking up from the shirt she was folding. “Everything alright between you two?”
You shrugged. “Yeah, she’s probably just busy with the gallery y’know.”
“Yeah. I think so.” You hesitated. “I think we’re both just… scared,” you admitted. “Or waiting. Or hoping the other person says something first.”
“You should talk to her,” Sally said, sliding the neatly folded clothes into a basket. “Like, for real. Before one of you implodes from emotional repression or whatever.”
You threw a sock at her head. “Thanks, Dr. Phil.” You changed the subject after that. But her words stuck.
By the end of the month, a new kind of energy was creeping in. October was drawing to a close, the cold was getting sharper, and Dina had gone feral about her Halloween party plans.
Your phone buzzed with a text from her while you were mid-shift.
“GET YOUR SEXY ASS HERE TOMORROW AT 6PM. NEED HELP WITH DECORATIONS. COSTUMES MANDATORY!!! also remind Ellie. I already told her but she ignores me when she's stressed.”
You laughed and texted back a quick ‘yes ma’am’, and a second message, ‘I’ll remind her. Promise.’
Ellie didn’t answer right away when you texted her that afternoon. You assumed she was drowning in gallery stuff again. But it left you with a familiar ache in your chest, one that had been persistent for the last couple weeks.
Ellie sat cross-legged on the floor of her studio, surrounded by prints. Dozens of them. Test shots, alternates, ones she swore were decent three days ago and now couldn’t even look at without cringing.The overhead light buzzed. Her laptop fan sounded like a jet engine. There were three empty tea cups on the windowsill and a half-eaten granola bar melting into the corner of her sketchpad.
She dragged both hands down her face and muttered into her palms, “This is fucking garbage.”
She stood up, grabbed a 16x20 she’d printed yesterday, a soft portrait of an older woman watering plants, sunlight slicing through the glass behind her—and held it at arm’s length. It looked wrong. Staged and meaningless.
Ellie groaned and tossed it onto the growing pile of discarded “maybe’s” in the corner.
None of it was working. Not the angles, not the light, not the message. She’d had a vision a few weeks ago, something about capturing small, quiet moments of care and connection, but now all of it felt stupid. Disconnected. Too literal or too soft or too obvious.
She hadn’t slept more than four hours in two days. Every time she closed her eyes, her brain screamed about editing, deadlines, how fucking expensive it all was, and—
She missed you. In the worst, most vulnerable, aching kind of way.
It wasn’t just that she missed your voice or your hands or the way you always brought her snacks without asking. It was that she missed feeling understood. The way you made her feel like being messy didn’t mean being unworthy. That even when she was overwhelmed and distracted, you still looked at her like she mattered.
But that’s what made it worse.
Because since that conversation with Sally, Ellie hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what this was. What you were. What she was to you.
And if she was even good enough for any of it.
You deserved someone who didn’t cancel plans because of panic attacks over light metering. Someone who texted back faster than twelve hours. Someone who didn’t need to be reminded to show up for you.
The guilt coiled hot in her stomach.
She picked up another photo and stared at it blankly. It was a candid you took of her, camera in hand, brows furrowed, that little crease between them deep with focus. She looked exhausted.
Her phone buzzed from somewhere under a stack of notebooks. She dug it out, blinking at the screen.
It was a text from you, reminding her about Dina’s party tomorrow. She stared at the message for a full ten seconds. “Tomorrow?” she whispered.
She checked the date. Then double-checked.
She scrambled to her feet, knocking over a cup, nearly stepping on a lens cap.
She hadn’t finished editing her selects. She hadn’t written the blurbs. She hadn’t even thought about her costume.
You were going to kill her.
No—worse. You were going to be disappointed in her. And that, somehow, was so much worse than being mad.
She fired back a quick “yup got my costume ready.” Lie. She just threw her phone onto the couch, and started frantically digging through her closet for anything vaguely vampire-like.
The photo prints stared up at her from the floor. Mocking her. She needed a break desperately.
The sun was already dipping behind the rooftops by the time you made it to Dina’s.
The terrace was partly adorned with plastic bats, tangled string lights, poorly carved pumpkins and a sad fog machine that wheezed like it had asthma. Jesse was crouched over a power strip with a screwdriver and a grimace. Dina was flitting between the small kitchen area and the outdoor table, waving around bags of snacks and drinks.
You dropped your tote by the railing and rolled up your sleeves. “Put me to work, boss.”
“Thank god,” Dina said, practically shoving a pile of fake cobwebs into your arms. “Jesse keeps trying to make the lighting ‘thematic’ and now the bathroom looks actually haunted.”
“You should be grateful someone’s out here helping you,” Jesse said from the floor.
“And you should be grateful I even let you in,” Dina shot back.
You stifled a laugh and got to work, stretching the fake cobwebs over the railing, adjusting paper lanterns, taping plastic spiders in little clusters by the drink table. You moved quickly, keeping your hands busy, trying to drown out the quiet buzz of anxiety that had started somewhere in your ribs and refused to leave.
Ellie hadn’t texted again. You tried not to take it personally. She was swamped, probably losing her mind over work. You knew that. She’d told you that.
Still, it sucked not hearing much from her.
You two hadn’t been hanging out as much as before, except for those few times one of you would crash at the other’s, or small unexpected visits, but other than that there was silence, half answered texts, or waiting for a callback. But the silence felt like a door half-closed. Like a draft you couldn’t quite place.
“Costume time babyyyy,” Dina called suddenly, snapping you out of it. “Time to get dressed, remind me what are you dressing up as?.”
You rolled your eyes. “I already told you like a million times, princess bubblegum, from adventure time?”
“And Ellie’s supposed to be Marceline?” She blinked at you teasing.
“Yeah, if she even shows up.” you replied, your tone coming out more gloomy than you expected.
“She will, I would kill her if she didn’t.” Dina said with a reassuring hand to the shoulder. “Alright let’s get dressed!”
Both of you ducked into her bedroom and started changing. The bubblegum pink mini dress clung in the right places—tight at the waist, flaring slightly at the bottom. Long and bell shaped sleeves, giving it a whimsy vibe, along with the glitter embedded in the fabric. It made you feel like a sugar cube.
You slid up the pink thigh-high stockings carefully trying not to rip them apart, and slipped into the white boots Sally borrowed you for the night.
The long, pastel-pink wig had taken you three tries and Dina’s help to get right. The synthetic hair tickled your collarbone as you leaned in, pushing the bangs gently to one side. It looked okay now. A little over the top. But that was kind of the point.
You reached for the bright yellow foam crown, and perched it carefully on your head. Tilted slightly. Like she wore it.
You stepped back out, adjusting your sleeves.
Dina’s eyes lit up. “Okay, damn. You’re gonna give that poor girl a heart attack.”
You smiled, but it felt tight. “Let’s hope she shows up.”
“She will,” Dina said. “Ellie’s not an idiot.”
You raised a brow. “Debatable.”
It was already dark when people started showing up, some in full costume, some in lazy afterthoughts, a few already tipsy from wherever they'd pregamed. The terrace lights glowed warm above your heads, flickering slightly from Jesse’s earlier “repair.”
You were three sips into a mystery punch that probably had too much vodka when Dina nudged your arm. “Look who’s here.”
You turned, heart kicking up, and you saw her.
Ellie stepped through the sliding door, a little late, giving strangers a half smile as she weaved through the crowd toward you. She was wearing an oversized gray tank that had the edges torn, her black sports bra peeking from the sides, paired with worn denim jeans and her old red chucks. She looked effortlessly cool, like she didn’t even try. And somehow that made your cheeks burn hotter.
“Hey, Princess,” she murmured, voice soft as she reached you. “Sorry I’m late, I got caught up with some stuff and—”
“It’s okay, Els,” you cut in gently. “Better late than never, right?”
And just like that, the knot in your throat loosened. The anxiety that had been sitting in your chest all evening slipped quietly away. She was here and that was enough.
“Come on, lemme get you something to drink,” you said, grabbing her hand and guiding her toward the makeshift mini bar. “But don’t ask what it is. Jesse made it.”
“Oh so we are fucked…” she sighed dramatically, grabbing one of the red cups. The first sip made her wince, whole face contorted on instinct. Sweet at first, like cherry soda, maybe strawberry, but then the burn kicked in, sharp and unmistakably vodka soaked. It hit the back of her throat like a surprise slap, she swallowed hard, coughing once.
“What the fuck is in this?” she asked, nose scrunching like she licked battery acid.
You laughed. “You get used to it. Third sip did it for me.”
Ellie looked at you, eyes softening a little. “You look beautiful, by the way.” She said quietly.
You blinked. “Wow. Drink’s already kicking in, huh?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m serious. You look… really nice.”
Your heart did a dumb little flutter. You glanced away, trying not to grin too hard.
“Well,” you said, bumping her with your shoulder, “you’re not so bad yourself, Marceline.”
“Yeah, yeah, let’s go dance or whatever you do at these parties.”
“Oh, I thought you were more into trick or treating.” You teased, batting your lashes at her.
“Nah I quitted when I got tooth decay so…” She joked, sliding one arm around your shoulders, walking through the crowd together.
The night blurred in warm pulses, drinking games, Ellie and Jesse arguing over the music choices, bass vibrating through the floorboards, voices overlapping, neon lights casting everything in a multi-colored haze. You were definitely tipsy now, your fourth drink working its magic somewhere behind your eyes, loosening your limbs and untangling your nerves.
You were sitting with a group of Dina’s college friends while Ellie disappeared into the bar to grab another drink, maybe water this time, she’d said. You’d nodded, letting her go with a gentle squeeze to her hand.
Dina emerged from the crowd, spotting you instantly and grabbing your arm, laughing. “Come dance with us. Sally is drunker than I am right now.”
You let her pull you in, spinning into a mess of limbs and laughter. Sally was already dancing with a couple of Dina’s friends, some theatre majors dressed like Dracula and a girl with fangs and glitter tears. You slipped easily into the circle, smiling, letting your hips sway to the beat. You tossed your hair back and giggled when Sally bumped her hip against yours.
It was like that for a few minutes, all of you dancing with each other, without shame or care, until you turned to adjust your crown, and felt someone brush against your side—too close. A guy you didn’t recognize, dressed like some half-assed cowboy with a paper badge stuck to his chest.
“You’ve got moves,” he said, leaning in.
You offered a polite smile. “Alright.”
“Wanna bounce somewhere quieter?” he asked, eyes trailing down your legs.
Your smile dropped. “I would rather jump from the railings.”
“You play hard to get,” he said, stepping closer. “I like that.”
You stepped back. “Go fuck yourself please.”
He smirked. “Aw, come on, you don’t gotta be such a bitch about it.”
You turned to walk away, face flushed in anger, but his hand shot out and caught your arm.
That’s when everything froze. Because suddenly Ellie was there, moving fast, voice sharp and low as a blade.
“She told you to fuck off man.” she barked, pushing him away from you.
The guy flinched, startled. “Whoa, chill—”
Ellie slapped his hand away and stepped between you. “I said fuck off.”
The guy held his hands up and backed away, muttering something under his breath, but Ellie wasn’t listening. She was already turning to you, eyes scanning your face like she wasn’t sure you were really okay.
“Come on,” she said, voice tight. “Let’s get out of here.”
Ellie led you to a quieter corner of the terrace, somewhere near the back, where the music dulled to a low thump. A few people were already passed out on beanbags, and a couple others murmured softly in conversation, draped in costumes and shadows.
“You okay?” she asked, brows furrowed as her eyes searched your face for anything off.
“I’m fine,” you said with a lazy shrug, your voice warm and slow from all the drinks. “Y’know I can defend myself.”
She gave you a look, unconvinced.
You grinned, leaning closer. “That was kinda hot though.”
“You gettin’ all protective and shit.” You let your arms drape loosely around her neck. “Kinda does it f’me.”
Ellie let out a short breath, somewhere between a laugh and a scoff. “It does?”
“It’s cute how you get all jealous and mad,” you teased, tilting your head.
She narrowed her eyes playfully. “You’re full of shit.”
“Maybe I am,” you whispered, and before either of you could think better of it, you leaned in, lips crashing into hers, messy and hungry. She kissed you back instantly, pulling you in, her hands sliding over the curve of your waist like she needed to anchor herself.
You tugged at her tank top, lips still on hers, and murmured between kisses, “Come with me.”
“Where?” she asked, barely above a breath.
You didn’t answer, just grabbed her hand and led her through the hallway, past the kitchen, weaving around bodies and noise until you reached the upstairs bathroom. You turned the knob and sighed with relief when it clicked open.
The door shut behind you as you pulled Ellie inside, and the second it clicked shut, her mouth crashed into yours like she was drowning and you were the only breath she could find. Your back hit the bathroom sink with a thud, her hands gripping your waist like she needed to feel every inch of you to make sure you were really there, really hers.
Ellie pulled you closer gasping into your mouth, sliding her hands under the hem of your glittery pink dress, fingers skimming up your thighs, thumbs dragging across the sheer band of your stockings. not quite touching where you wanted her yet, but close. Too close.
Fingers tugged at her tank top, curling into the thin fabric, feeling the heat of her skin beneath it. Her body pressed flush against yours, the hardness of her jeans rough against your stockings. The moan that escaped your mouth drowned in her own, and that was all the encouragement she needed to press you harder against the sink—knee slotting between your legs.
You gasped, arms wrapping around her neck, fingers tangling into the soft, auburn strands at the base of her neck. She kissed you with a fierceness that spilled out in the way her teeth caught your bottom lip, how her tongue moved with messy purpose, how she pulled back just to breathe you in, her eyes darkened.
“God,” she whispered, dragging her lips across your jaw. “You taste so fucking good.”
You tilted your head back, letting her mouth explore your neck—wet, open-mouthed kisses pressed to your pulse point, your collarbone, your shoulder. Every touch sent sparks through your skin, your whole body leaning into her like gravity wasn’t even a choice anymore.
Her hands found your waist again, pushing the fabric of your dress higher. Her thumbs pressed into the soft skin above your hips, fingers sliding under the hem of your panties just enough to make you lose track of your breath.
“Ellie,” you breathed, the sound barely holding together.
She groaned at the way you said her name, deep and quiet, like it meant something. Her lips crashed back to yours, hungrier now. Desperate. Her fingers tightened where they held you like she couldn’t get close enough, like she needed you inside her bones.
You couldn’t keep your hands off of her, roaming up her torso, dragging your nails along her ribs, fingers dipping beneath the edge of her sports bra just to feel the heat of her skin. She shivered at your touch, hips grinding softly against yours in a rhythm that made your knees tremble.
The room felt like it was spinning. Music thudding faintly through the walls, the taste of cherry vodka and her breath on your tongue, the smell of sweat and perfume and want. Her thigh pressed harder between your legs and you moaned, clinging to her.
She pulled away to look at you, at how you were crumbling under her touch, but all you could do was stare at her—hypnotized, you could notice every little detail on her face, her dilated pupils, the freckles you would never get tired of kissing, the little scar on her brow. You were looking at her like she was something precious. Your lips brushed against hers again, softer now, and without thinking—the words slipped from the tip of your tongue. Like a prayer, a plea, you whispered it. “I fuckin’ love you.”
You mumbled, almost incoherent. Drenched in heat and alcohol and truth. You held the words for a second, waiting for something, anything. The vodka in your system had given you the value, but could she give you the answer? The meaning of all of it, of the past few months?
Ellie stilled. It wasn’t obvious. Just a shift in the way her mouth paused against yours. You had caught her off guard, her breath hitched—slightly, but you felt it. Like someone had pulled a string taut between your ribs and let it go.
You blinked—once, twice and still not a single sound came out from her, her eyes were avoiding yours, and like a shock wave, you realized the weight of the situation, of the confession you just spilled, and maybe both of you were too drunk for it.
Suddenly, the door thudded heavily, ‘BANG BANG BANG’
You barely had time to gather yourself before Ellie instinctively walked toward the bathroom door and opened it, only to freeze.
And there she was…Sally. Crying.
Mascara ran down her cheeks in black streaks, her breath coming in sharp, hiccupping sobs. Her arms were wrapped tightly around herself, shoulders shaking as if she'd sprinted through a storm.
“Sally?” you said, startled. “What happened? Are you—”
She didn’t let you finish. She stepped forward and hugged you hard, burying her face into your shoulder.
“He–he was kissing another girl,” she choked out, sobbing. “In front of my face, who the fuck does that?”
You blinked, the last of the alcohol draining from your system like someone had ripped a plug out of you.
Wait. Sally’s boyfriend. Had just cheated on her.
You were fully conscious now. “Are you fucking serious?” you snapped, arms tightening around her. “That piece of shit. I’m going to kill that motherfucker.”
She sobbed harder. You pet her hair gently, holding her close. “You wanna leave?” you asked softly. She nodded against you without lifting her head.
“I can give you guys a ride,” Ellie said suddenly from behind you. “It’s late.”
You turned, blinking at her.
“You sure? We could just Uber—”
“No,” she said quickly, tugging at her earlobe the way she always did when she was anxious. “It’s fine. I’ll drive.”
You nodded, and made your way out of the bathroom, collecting your bag and Sally’s from where you had left it at Dina’s living room earlier.
You sat in the backseat with Sally curled into your side, your arm wrapped protectively around her as she continued to cry softly into your shoulder. You whispered whatever comfort came to mind. Little nothings like “you’re okay,” and “he’s an asshole,” and “we’re almost home,” even though none of them felt like enough.
Ellie drove in silence. But her mind was louder than it ever had been. Her hands stayed firmly on the wheel, eyes fixed on the road, expression unreadable under the dim dashboard light. Every few minutes her eyes flicked up to the rearview mirror, but she never said anything. Never stared too long.
The feeling bubbling up in her chest was overwhelming. She didn’t know what to say, or exactly what to do. She was thrown back, confused. Did you mean what you said back there? Was it just the heat of the moment? She couldn’t even process it right now.
You, on the other hand, were focused on Sally, and taking care of her. Your poor heartbroken roommate sobbing into your lap. You couldn’t afford to think about what happened before she stormed crying to the bathroom. Not yet.
So you focused on her instead. On being steady. On pretending your throat didn’t still burn with the words that had been sitting on your chest for too long. On pretending that the silence that followed after was killing you.
Ellie pulled up in front of the apartment, headlights casting long shadows across the lawn. “We’re here,” she said quietly, tapping the gear shift into park.
You nodded, unbuckling your seatbelt. Sally stirred beside you, blinking slowly. “Come on, Sal,” you whispered to her gently. “We’re home.”
She sniffled and let you help her out of the car, still leaning against you like her bones couldn’t quite hold her up on their own. You guided her toward the door, glancing back once, just as Ellie stepped out of the driver’s seat.
She stayed by the truck, hands shoved deep into the pockets of her jeans, eyes not quite meeting yours.
“I’ll… talk to you later?” you said, voice low. Too careful.
“Yeah, sure.” Ellie said, forcing a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.
You waited a second. Just in case. Just in case she’d say anything else—but she didn’t.
“Night Els.” You muttered, trying to meet her gaze but she didn’t.
You walked Sally inside. Shutting the door behind you. And that was that.
She watched the apartment door close behind you. Without moving, like a marble statue that was cold to the touch, with her hands still buried in her pockets, and her heart thudding aggressively.
Fuck she should’ve said something else. Anything. But she just watched you disappear behind the door, watched the light dim from your eyes as poured your heart out to her and she didn’t answer. She just froze.
After all of that. After your lips on hers, after your eyes searched hers, quietly asking if she felt it too.
And she did. God, she fucking did. But she couldn’t say it. Didn’t know how. Didn’t trust herself to do it without ruining everything.
It felt like everything was overlapping. And she was about to crack.
Ellie exhaled a breath she didn’t even know she was holding and climbed inside the truck, slamming the door shut harder than she meant to.
Now it was just her and the low hum of the engine. The warmth from your perfume lingering faintly on her shirt. And she fucking hated it. The smell suddenly made her feel nauseous. She gripped the steering wheel tight enough to make her knuckles white.
“I’m such a fucking coward,” she muttered into the silence.
The streetlight cast soft shadows across the dashboard, and her reflection stared back at her in the dark window—eyes red from the remaining alcohol and the headache that was creeping in.
Her jaw clenched. She should’ve said something. She should’ve said it back, but her chest had locked up. Every instinct screaming to run. Because loving you meant being known. Exposed. It meant being vulnerable in a way that terrified the shit out of her. And when you said it—so softly, so honestly…she panicked. Like a fucking pussy.
Too scared of breaking what was already so close to perfect. Too scared of not being enough for you once it was real.
Now the moment was gone. And all she had was the sound of her own shaky breath catching. She didn’t even realize when the tears started to spill out.
She slammed her hand against the steering wheel. “fucking—stupid—asshole!.”
She let out a sharp breath, head falling forward until it rested against the steering wheel. Mouth pressed into the crook of her elbow to stifle the pathetic sobs. “Fucking idiot,” she whispered. She was crying—quiet, bitter, frustrated tears. Not just because of what happened tonight. It was a build up from everything, but mostly because she knew, deep down, she might’ve just ruined the best thing that’s ever happened to her.
And how wouldn’t she ruin it? It was all too good to be true. There had to be something, a crack, something that would make all slip away. You had been nothing but patient, you opened up for her. And she just kept hiding. Avoiding you, avoiding stepping too close, reading too much into it. She always ran from what she truly felt. Because she was terrified it might scare you away, that she—might scare you away, with her mess and her fucked up feelings.
She didn’t deserve you, didn’t deserve to be loved by you. Why would you? When she was a complete mess. And that was clearer for her now.
୨୧─── ⋆୨୧⋆ ───୨୧─── ⋆୨୧⋆ ───୨୧─── ⋆୨୧⋆ ───୨୧
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lmk i anyone else would like to be added<3
