sunset stories

honest, genuine, and sometimes dreary ―

[jmgr]

Of connecting the dots

Probably the longest email I received from Pa, in response to an email sent to him by my clueless, whiny, too idealistic, feeling entitled fresh grad self back in 2008. Reading this again made me realize that my perspective on work has significantly changed since then. Work is both humbling and, for lack of a better word, dignifying (uplifting?). 

This is for fresh grads and not-so-fresh grads, and people who think that the grass is always greener on the other side (occasionally guilty of this) :)

Date: XX/XX/XXXX 9:26 PM    

Subject: Re: :(

dear aiks,

Keep reading

[burcublog-deactivated20220125]

Bana doğru gelen hiçbir şey yoktur ki, yanlış gibi de gelmesin.

[qprbros]

How to convey to the normies that yes this is platonic but no I’m not gonna shy away from any subtext these bitches are life partners

[qprbros]

ppl who are like “yes they’re close but they’re SIBLINGS don’t make this shippy” like yes?? i would like them to be close and platonic AND each other’s most important person.

[qprbros]

“they’re just friends” and “they’re just siblings” always gets thrown around to debunk a romantic/sexual relationship (the former usually if the relationship is queer and the latter because. well incest) but like okay??

where’s my fucking friendship fic then, huh? where’s my totally platonic but genuine and deep appreciation for each other?? do you actually want them to be platonic or do you just want to supersede their dynamic with some other romantic ship??? do you actually support platonic love or are you just amatonormative like Oh No They Can’t Love Each Other TOO Much Or They’re Obviously Fucking

when i say “this but gen” i MEAN this but gen. all the acts of love, all the prioritisation, all the stuff that normally gets seen as romantic/sexual but isn’t because they don’t feel that way but they still truly LOVE each other. i want them to be life partners, i want them to care most about each other, i want them to be each other’s most important person. i want all of that without relying on romantic or sexual attraction.

“hurr durr platonic love is important too” do you really think that or are you just bitter it sinks your preferred ship

[kiragecko]

Give me:

deep conversations

trust

reliance on each other

cuddles

roasting movies together

sharing intimate memories

teasing each other

hanging out when sleepy or grumpy or overstimulated, because THIS person isn’t too much

knowing each other well enough to catch the thing they always drop when distracted, or bring a double of something they always forget

leaning on each other

other touch, because it feels good to be in contact with someone you love

knowing when not to touch

in-jokes

talking about the stupidest things in existence

incredibly obscure topics that they’ve obviously been talking about for years

groans of anticipation at seemingly random words or actions

I WANT FRIENDS AND SIBLINGS.

[hashbrownswift]

they’re not wrong

[hannybstudies]

✎ 10.20.2019 // two days of writing papers. four meals. three iced coffees. one gallon of water. fifteen references. sixteen pages of content. one overwhelmed n tired graduate student.

[skyblogs-blog]

[imgeorgeirl]

How to deal with personal failure

Sometimes you might try as hard as you can and put so much effort into something and you get the results back and they just aren’t what you want. Failure can be under 50% or it could be a personal failure, when you just dont get the result you were hoping for. Recently i experienced my worst personal failure to date and I had to find ways to deal with that. I have a few tips on how to deal with a personal failure:

1. Let yourself cry

I know that crying isn’t fun; your eyes get sore, your nose runs and if you’re around other people it just makes you look like a mess. However, sometimes when you have all this emotion built up you just have to let it out. Having a big cry will make you feel better trust me! Remember to drink water or something after you’re finished because crying can be very dehydrating. Also, if your eyes get too sore put some eyedrops in them to help rehydrate them. Try not to continue to strain your eyes by getting too much screen time because that can also dry out your eyes and make you feel worse.

2. Have a break

Sometimes, a personal failure can feel like a failure because you’ve built up so much stress and anxiety that can cause you to make a mountain out of a molehill. The mountain of a failure might just be a little molehill. So, after you’ve had a cry (if you need to, no pressure!) don’t immediately jump back into studying or work, just take a breather. You don’t want to straight away built up all the stress again because that will just turn into a horrible cycle. So just sit down, watch a movie, eat an ice-cream, whatever makes you feel relaxed.

3. Dont be afraid to ask for help!

I know more than enough about being to afraid to ask for help, and having so much anxiety that it feels like you cant talk to anyone about your problems. I kept everything inside me for weeks until I finally told my mum how I was feeling but when I did finally tell someone, opening up made everything feel so much easier and smaller. talking about your issues really helps to rationalise them and to find ways to deal with them.

4. If you can’t ask for help, be your own help.

sometimes its too hard to ask for help, or you let your anxiety get the better of you, but thats okay! Don’t be too harsh on yourself about that, it will only worsen the problem. In this case, be your own help. The same way talking about your issues allows you to manifest internalised thoughts and emotions that would have otherwise been left alone into reality in order to work through them, writing things down in a journal or even typing it into your phone works the same way (look up journal therapy). Speaking from an emotional point of view, journaling helps to clear the mind emotionally and mentally, because everything is out on paper so to speak.

5. Try again…when you’re ready

In my case, I wasn’t ready to move out, and I felt like I had failed, but talking through my issues and crying it out made me realise that I hadn’t failed, and that I just simply wasn’t ready. I am in no rush to try again but maybe in another years time i might try again to see if I’ve gained the mental maturity to move out. If I then decide I’m still not ready, so what? Im not ready, ill try again when I am. If you fail, then try again, but don’t feel pressured to try again immediately (unless the task is time sensitive then definitely dont leave it too long). Say you have an essay due in a week that you keep trying to write and you just seem to keep failing at it, take a break and then try again in a few hours, or a few minutes or however long you need in order to regain your strength.

And Finally…just remember that you can get through this! No matter what situation you’re in, remember that It will pass, and you will be a better person for it! Stay strong and persevere!

[lily-vs-uni]

nothing like reading with your face in the sun - I think virginia would have agreed (it’s so lovely to be back in her company, 4 years after getting right inside Mrs Dalloway at A-Level. the older I get, the more certain things jump out - her privilege in society is hard to divorce from her creative output, for example, and I’m not convinced by her personal branch of feminism, but nonetheless, it’s an absolute pleasure to get lost in her sentences)

[elliotandcloud]

Today I learned about what a Climate Reality Leader feels like

A few months ago, I committed myself to join a climate reality training program, which I just recently completed. The training served as an eye-opener for me about the tragic impacts of climate change around the world. I’ve met a diverse group of climate reality leaders. I’ve heard their climate stories, their experiences, and what they do in order to contribute to climate action.

The documented impacts of the climate crisis across the globe is alarming, and has brought me anxieties. How will the future generation survive in a world where not everyone believes that it might die one day?

What we do in the present will affect the future. The youth of today are the future generation, and not only are we experiencing the climate crisis now, but we might also latch onto the worst impacts of it in the future.

Here are 7 things I learned from the training:

Climate change is real, and humans are the cause. We cannot just accept it as the new normal. We have to accept that we are causing it, and that we should take action.

Fossil fuel industries and systems of oppression play a role in exacerbating climate change. We cannot effectively address one, without addressing the other. We are exploiting the earth without properly taking care of it.

The gravest effects of all attacks on the environment are suffered by the poorest.

Climate change disrupts the natural ecosystem that threatens wildlife and marine life. This is also connected to the depletion of our natural resources leading to food and water shortages.

Every climate solution is a health solution. Climate change makes the life of infectious agents thrive. It also plays a role in the proliferation of toxic contaminants. I don’t want to become a doctor who tells her patient to refrain from eating fish just because there has been mercury contamination.

The fight to climate change is a long battle that might drive our energies out, but knowing that our future depends on what we do now brings back that motivation to continue the fight. It can be daunting, but having a group of people who are also passionate about what you advocate for helps.

Your voice is powerful. Sharing your stories can create connections with other people to influence them about what you advocate for.

Thinking and reflecting about what you can do to contribute to the betterment of our planet is one way to show that you care. Let us picture ourselves in a better world, and let us sow sustainable actions to reap a better future.

[elliotandcloud]

[elliotandcloud]

the intimacy of waiting and bothering to bring food late at night on a weekday after you go to church

[rosemorning]

are you an empath?

COMMON EMPATH SKILLS

You are unusually good at guessing how someone feels

You’re sensitive to other people’s moods

People find it easy to confide in you

You instinctively know what people want or need

You might feel someone’s emotions even if they’re not near you

You might feel other people’s physical sensations in your own body

COMMON EMPATH SIDE-EFFECTS

Feeling emotionally or physically overwhelmed in crowds

Feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders

Feeling emotionally drained when you have to touch a lot of people

Feeling like you need to help everyone by carrying their emotional pain

Random mood swings (angry, sad, scared, etc.) that have nothing to do with your life events

Hard time falling asleep or procrastinate going to bed

[elliotandcloud]

to the landlady,

As a person who is in love with the feeling of comfort, home is like breakfast in bed, hot coffee on a rainy day, the solace that we get from a heavy blanket, or maybe a hug from a special person or a furry friend.

I believe that there is a hotel that lingers somewhere inside us. We clean, and maintain it just like how we want to present ourselves to other people. This hotel—boarding place, vacation house, transient house, whatever you call it— inside us longs to be or to find a lasting and steady home where we can uncover our honest intention.

Sometimes, we exhaust ourselves looking for this home despite it being tedious and sometimes painful. We feel downhearted until one day, the thing we’re looking for, reveals itself to us. Everything changes; the fleeting hotel turns into an everlasting home.

Home may be found in the form of a person—where you can find comfort, security, and just be your true self. Akin to that, this home you came across with, used to be a hotel in search of a home, too. And guess what? That home is you.

[elliotandcloud]

I already forgot all the rants I told you about. The only thing that I could remember is you being present, awkwardly listening to me. Thank you very much.

[seaoflove]

a long time ago i learned that a big part of your life needs to be undocumented and just simply enjoyed in the present. you don’t need to post a picture of the book your reading for it to be good. you don’t need to have a pic of you posing before the sea as proof that u had a good trip. there’s a very fine line between manufacturing moments for future nostalgia and honoring happy experiences by commemorating them into art. and it’s all about intention: do i want to take a picture because it would look good on ig or do i want to take a picture because i do not want to forget how insanely happy i am right now? or, preferably, do i even need to take a picture at all?

[elliotandcloud]

living the sweet life, but it still tastes bitter

Days have been coming by really fast. I cannot grasp the fact that it has been more than a year since I've been to the university. The college memories I have collected so far include stressful zoom calls, unhealthy late-night studying and snacking, and of course a mental and emotional rollercoaster. Wee hours unfold the emotions I've been bottling inside.

[almostreading]

A basket full of books is all you need