i love the puke

elliot here! i’m a writer with a very bad stutter and a fixation on sickfics.

[elliotlikespuke]

Anyone else realize how badly they need to clean their bathroom while kneeling in front of the toilet bowl?

[elliotlikespuke]

In other news, I just cleaned my toilet while waiting to throw up, threw up in the bowl with the toilet cleaner, flushed, and had to clean it again

[elliotlikespuke]

Anyone else realize how badly they need to clean their bathroom while kneeling in front of the toilet bowl?

[elliotlikespuke]

Okay so. I couldn’t help myself. I love morning sickness (and pregnancy in general) and I had to write this. 

I’m not back really (lately it seems that morning sickness is the only puke I can tolerate) but i did write this!

SPOILERS FOR ACOTAR (SPECIFICALLY ACOSF). 

Warnings: puke, pregnancy, domesticity

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Rhys was greeted in the foyer. This was not unusual for him. Lately, Feyre had been nearly feral when it came to him. She would greet him at the door, push him against a wall, and hardly give him a word before she winnowed them to their bedroom. Once, she’d taken off his pants in the hallway and blown him right there.

The person who greeted him this time, however, was Elain. His back stiffened.

“Elain,” he said.

“You should check on Feyre,” was all she said. Her face hid nothing of the worry she was feeling. Rhys felt himself go cold. Feyre — the baby —

Elain said: “I tried to check on her but she said she — upstairs bathing room.” And Rhys winnowed.

Thankfully, his mind had only a split second to ponder all that could be wrong. Feyre, hurt, bleeding, losing the baby… no.

So relieved at the sight of his mate, it took Rhys a moment to take in the bathing room. She was kneeling on the floor in front of the toilet, slumped over and resting her cheek on the seat. The room was acrid, and a small puddle of sick lay beside the toilet, where she had missed the mark. Her beautiful blonde hair stuck a little to her forehead, and the few strands which had escaped were not spared from the mess.

Her tired eyes met his, and to his horror, she began to cry. He moved before he could think, kneeling behind her and wrapping an arm around her, trying his best to soothe her trembling.

“Feyre, darling,” he cooed. She just sobbed harder. Why had she not called for him down the bond? Why had she shut him out? Guilt poked a thousand pinpricks over his skin. She had been suffering, and he had been debriefing with Azriel.

“How long have you been like this?” He asked.

Feyre took a shuddering breath before replying. “All day.”

Her voice was hoarse and unsteady. From the crying or the vomiting, he didn’t know. He ached. He blew out a long breath.

“I’m sorry—” she whined, her voice tumbling back into a sob. Rhys pulled her tighter against him.

“No,” he whispered. “None of that. Tell me what’s happened.”

She’d been asleep when he left her this morning. Usually, she woke with him, but for the past few weeks she’d been more tired than usual. Madja had said that was normal, and the books Rhys had been reading seemed to confirm it. He hadn’t had the heart to wake her, and just took in the sight of her peaceful sleeping face before he’d begun getting ready for the day.

“I went downstairs for breakfast,” Feyre whispered. She was having trouble getting the words out through her tears. Rhys rubbed a hand over her spine. “And whatever Elain was eating it just —” she took a shuddering breath, fighting the wave of nausea that the memory provoked. “It just made me so sick, and I came up here and - and it’s hardly stopped all day.”

All day. It was nearly dinnertime, and his mate had been on the floor, vomiting. And he’d been nowhere to be found. No wonder she looked so tired.

The tears were a relatively new development. First, it had been her breasts, and then the sleepiness, followed by the vomiting. And now, the tears. It wasn’t like he’d never seen her cry before, but for the past few days, she’d cried several times a day over things she wouldn’t so much as blinked at before. It was normal, he knew, but no less hard to see.

“Have you kept anything down?”

She shook her head. “It’s b-baaad today.”

She was sobbing again. She’d had a few days like this, but none so severe.

“Do you want me to call for Madja?”

She shook her head. Rhys nodded, and continued his gentle stroking of her back.

“You didn’t call for me.” There was no accusation in his tone, just a note of sadness. He tried to pull it out of his body. The last thing he needed was to make her feel guilty.

“I didn’t want to,” Feyre explained. “I didn’t want to end your meetings just because I’m gross and I haven’t stopped puking!” Her voice rose on the last word, once again giving way to a wail. She still didn’t lift her head from the toilet seat.

“You’re not gross.”

At this, she raised her head and turned to look him square in the face. She summoned all her strength for the glare she sent at him.

“I have puke in my hair.”

He waved a hand and it disappeared. As did the puddle on the floor. “What puke?”

She just laid her head back down on the toilet seat.

“Alright, so it’s not very glamorous. But I’ve yet to see anyone who looks their best after heaving up their guts all day.”

Feyre huffed. It was a sound that was maybe — almost — a laugh. But then she moaned.

“I’m gonna—” and she was heaving again. Rhys pulled her hair back gently before the vomit came, sparing it from this latest episode. She coughed harshly, and another thin dribble of sick splashed into the bowl.

This was torture. Torture to watch and even worse to experience, Rhys imagined. It was not the vomiting that one had on a night out after a few too many, it was not the vomiting after a nightmare or the horrors of battle. It was her stomach hell-bent on turning itself inside out. What came up was only a few weak mouthfuls of acid, but her body forced itself through the motions.

When her stomach had settled for the moment, Rhys said, “You know you can always shout when you need me, right?”

She nodded against the toilet seat.

“Even if it’s just because you want to puke on me.” At that, she smiled.

“It would serve you right.”

“It would,” Rhys agreed. They’d both wanted a baby, both been overjoyed when they’d learned of it — but Rhys’ conception of pregnancy was a passive process to be observed, not a piece-by-piece building of another life by his mate’s body. He had been unprepared for the reality of it. He was still amazed that it was really happening.

“But in a few months, we'll have a son.” He tried.

“Please don’t say that,” Feyre inhaled shakily, and Rhys prepared for another round of sobs. “It just makes me feel guilty for hating this.”

Rhys had to shut his eyes against the wave that crashed over him. His mate, his wife, his queen, ravaged by emotion and illness and fatigue…

“Don’t… You shouldn’t…” It was rare that he was at a loss for words. He finally settled on: “This sucks.”

At that, Feyre gave a weak, hiccuping laugh. “Understatement.”

Rhys agreed.

“Your body is working so hard.” He said, and she replied with a dry-heave. He tried again. “Your body is working so hard, and this sucks, and it’s okay not to feel the excitement right now. You’ve been on the bathroom floor for the whole day. I wouldn’t be very excited either.”

Feyre sniffled, then groaned. At his silence, she said, “I think I threw up through my nose.”

Rhys couldn’t help but give a rueful little laugh. She laughed with him, and accepted the piece of toilet paper he passed to her. She tried to clean herself up while he reached over and flushed the toilet.

“Do you still feel sick?” He asked her. She nodded. As much as he wished to be an instant cure, it appeared the babe had other ideas.

“Can I bring you to bed?”

“I’m not really in the mood.”

He sighed, and finally, she laughed. It was quiet, but it was a laugh, and he thought his heart might burst.

“How about I set you up in bed with some water and a nice blanket, and I spend the next hour rubbing your legs. They must be sore.”

“But…” She looked down into the water of the toilet.

“I’ll bring a bucket.”

“What if I puke on the floor?”

“I’m magic.”

Feyre nodded. “Must be nice.”

She was too, of course, but with a baby on the way, Madja had warned against expending too much energy. Besides, she was so tired he doubted she’d be able to so much as summon a glass of water.

Rhys helped his wife to bed. Later, he would bring her some broth and try to get her to drink it, but for now he was content to rub his wife’s legs in silence, and think about the blessings he had, and the blessings to come.

[elliotlikespuke]

has anyone here read acotar??? I’ve seen a distinct lack of talk about it despite the fact that in the second (and fourth) books, Feyre spews as often as Cassian swears

[elliotlikespuke]

Also not to be a snzfucker here but Cassian and Nesta both having seasonal allergies?? Cassian pitifully sniffling when Rhys comments on it??? Get outta here

[elliotlikespuke]

has anyone here read acotar??? I’ve seen a distinct lack of talk about it despite the fact that in the second (and fourth) books, Feyre spews as often as Cassian swears

[snzftsh]

When someone is sneezing and they have one nostril A LOT more congested than the other so they plug the less congested one and let the soupy congestion shoot out

[elliotlikespuke]

I'm certainly interested in something gross! Lol

:)

I have tonsil stones that I can usually get out with no problems. I gag a little and cough, but it’s pretty easy.

today I noticed my throat was hurting and saw a tonsil stone stuck in my throat, so I tried to get it out with a q-tip like I normall would.

it was harder than usual, and I was gagging a lot more but I figured “fuck it, let me just keep trying.”

except I had just eaten, and I ended up barfing up chocolate chip cookie and sandwich into my bathroom sink.

[elliotlikespuke]

anyone wanna hear something gross

[elliotlikespuke]

You still here bro?

I’m here!

Unfortunately I had to stop writing for a while due to my mental health. I’m still working on it, so no more writing for a while. Sorry y’all!

[elliotlikespuke]

i hate being sick :( woke up feeling a bit under the weather and by 10am I couldn’t breathe through my nose and my whole body ached. at least my pretty boyfriend has been reading to me all day to quell the discomfort <3

[elliotlikespuke]

seriously he read to me for like three hours one of which I was asleep through but woke up because I had to cough and he was still reading 🥺 what did I do to deserve this boy

[elliotlikespuke]

i hate being sick :( woke up feeling a bit under the weather and by 10am I couldn’t breathe through my nose and my whole body ached. at least my pretty boyfriend has been reading to me all day to quell the discomfort <3

[elliotlikespuke]

nico running colder than everyone else all the time :) so when will takes his temperature and it’s 100.8° no one bats an eye :) except will who knows this is Very Far Away from his usually temperature of 96.8°

[elliotlikespuke]

a trip to the pumpkin patch gets a bit spicier on a hayride when person A realizes

1. they’re allergic to hay, and

2. person B seems to be leaning in closer every time their breath hitches...

[tomhollandnet]

I actually like it better broken.

[elliotlikespuke]

i love voyeuristic whump??

a character who refuses to be vulnerable in front of anyone but their partner having to be vulnerable in front of their partner — and all their friends

someone usually very composed breaking in front of someone who’s never seen it before

someone being the only sick one in a crowd, and suddenly everyone is piling on care for them

[elliotlikespuke]

oh AND people bearing witness to how sweet the caregiver really is to their partner (or kid, or friend) which would embarras the fuck out of the whumpee if they were aware enough to know what was happening

someone being so torn between needing attention from a caregiver because they feel awful but not wanting to show it in front of everyone

just... so much

[elliotlikespuke]

i love voyeuristic whump??

a character who refuses to be vulnerable in front of anyone but their partner having to be vulnerable in front of their partner — and all their friends

someone usually very composed breaking in front of someone who’s never seen it before

someone being the only sick one in a crowd, and suddenly everyone is piling on care for them

[1heartfanfics]

The three day mystery bug

ello, sorry I haven’t been on in a while, I was moving in to my new apartment!! So that’s awesome. My boyfriend drove down with me to help me move in and then stayed for a few days, but he ended up getting sick the first night so I thought I’d write a story for you guys. BTW this is like sickest I’ve ever seen him, I felt awful for him. 

TW: brief depictions of vomit

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