am i a monster?

𝗘𝗟𝗦𝗔 𝗘𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗥𝗗𝗢𝗧𝗧𝗜𝗥 t w e n t y - four am i really the monster? death eaters DURMSTRANG

[elsaernirdottir]

( cis female | she/her | diana silvers ) —— isn’t that ELSA ERNIRDÓTTIR? yeah that is them, outside the three broomsticks! they used to go to DURMSTRANG but apparently they now work as an UNSPEAKABLE at the DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES. sybill once said that they reminded her of ripped fishnet tights and combat boots, howling at big bright full moons, crumbling dried plants hanging from the ceiling, chipped black nail polish, and long messy hair which seems about right. anyway i’ve heard they’re still a bit ARTICULATE, UNBALANCED and DECEPTIVE, they’re TWENTY-FOUR now but some things never change! i wonder how being a WEREWOLF (unregistered) is affecting them after hogwarts, especially now they’re MEMBER OF GREYBACK’S PACK with the DEATH EATERS? i guess only time will tell… 

𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 / 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄

tw :  violence 

character influences :  hades ( greek mythology )  ,  bucky barnes  (  marvel  )  ,  elphaba (  wicked  )  ,  elizabeth báthory (  historical figure  )  ,  jane north-robinson (  horrid  )

full name  :  elsa kristín ernirdóttir nickname  :  none  name origin  :  elsa  ,   god is perfection  ,  hebrew ethnicity  :   ashkenazi jewish & white siblings  :  five older brother  age  :  twenty  -  four date of birth  :   4 june sexuality  :  bisexual  relationship status  :  single   patronus  : wolf  ,  previously a rabbit  boggart  :  herself in a cage wand  :  english oak  ,  dragon heartstring  ,  supple affiliation  :  greyback’s pack  ,  death eaters  former school  :  durmstrang job  :  unspeakable 

     elsa was a child born of a mistake  .  when her mother found out she was pregnant with a young rich man who was trying to become a politician  .  his parents tried to pay her mom off  ,  but elsa’s mother refused to take the money because she thought he’d side with her  .  they’d promised to run away to england together  ,  yet he didn’t show up the night they’d planned. when that happened  ,  ernir reluctantly took the money and went off to russia on her own  .

     she was born on a cool summer night  ,  elsa’s mother treated her like a princess. elsa was supposed to be soft  ,  to not want adventure. her mother wanted her to be obedient  ,  though elsa was a bit of a wild child  .  thankfully  ,  her mum ended up getting a job that required her to be gone long hours  ,  working hard to keep their small country home kept  .  pristine  ,  even if it meant not seeing her daughter as often as she wanted  .

     elsa was told by her mother that she had cousins in scotland  ,  though they never had a free moment to spare to visit them  ,  since her mum was never home  .  elsa was left to her own devices and often was found sneaking away from her nannies to frolic in the woods and escape the boringness that was indoors  .  although she’d get in trouble for ignoring the wishes of her mother and nannies  .

     much to her mother’s dismay  ,  elsa was more content playing in the woods behind the house with her brothers than she was in the house with the dolls  .  eventually  ,  elsa compromised and was able to play the part her mum wanted her to play   —  the perfect princess   —   while also allowing her be the feral child she sometimes wanted to be  .  there was a balance with them  ,  though elsa’s mother wished more than anything her child was normal  . 

     elsa showed signs of magic early on in life  ,  her mother letting out a sigh of relief at the sight of it  ,  if only because it meant elsa would be gone for months at a time at school  .  while sometimes elsa hated the idea that her mum treated her the way she did  ,  she also loved the attention whenever she got into trouble  .  and despite elsa’s mother being quite cold at times  ,  the two did get along most of the time  .  sometimes it was just difficult for her mum to keep elsa from exploring  . 

     at durmstrang  ,  elsa ready to learn darker magics  ,  things her mother refused to teach her  .  there was no doubt she belonged there  ,  cruel  ,  icy  ,  and more than ready to learn what they were teaching  .  elsa was a talented wix  .  she excelled in the dark arts and academics when she was able to focus  .  and with durmstrang’s dark magic  ,  she was one of the top students in her year  . 

     when she graduated was when her life changed  ,  her mum told her she was tired of living in russia and wanted to go back to iceland  .  elsa had no desire to go to a home that was never hers  ,  a place she’d never been to  .  but her mother let her keep part of the money from when they sold the house  .  for about six months  ,  elsa stuck around russia  ,  then she decided to travel  . 

     elsa made it as far as england before she ran out of money  .  she was working as a bartender when fenrir greyback found her  .  twenty two at the time  ,  elsa had become guarded and wary of most people  .  she didn’t trust him at first  ,  but eventually the allure of a family  ,  of a pack  ,  of a father figure she never had  ,  was compelling to her  .  he introduced her to someone that got her a job in the department of mysteries as an unspeakable  .   as someone that had graduated near the top of her class  ,  elsa fit in nicely with the more intelligence based work  .

     greyback didn’t bite her at first  ,  elsa was too eager  ,  too blood thirsty  .  at the beginning of 1977 he bit her  .  she’s not told anyone other than the other members of the pack  .  there’s not a doubt that she choose the right side  .  because now elsa has a family that’s hers  .  .  .  and that’s all she’s ever wanted  . 

[1715km-deactivated20240725]

All the time.

[elsaernirdottir]

@morozovyaxley

[scatteredly]

[elsaernirdottir]

@morozovyaxley

[elsaernirdottir]

ALEXEY.

        “have you considered that maybe you’re simply not used to what people sound like when they’re teasing you? but no, i didn’t really need anything.”

          “ have  you  ever  considered  the  fact  that  people  who  tease  me  usually  end  up  dead  ? ”   she  snapped  at  him  .   “ for  dmitry’s  sake  though  i  will  refrain  from  hurting  you  .   no  one  ever  bothers  me  unless  they  need  something  .   so  out  for  it  . ” 

[elsaernirdottir]

ALICE.

                    ❝      you’re   missing   a   very   important   half   of   the   puzzle   here   —   how   many   of   those   years   did   i   know   you   even   existed   ?      or   and   that   you   were   just   one   country   away   instead   of   several   ?      you   never   reached   out   either   .   you’re   the   one   that   knew   .      four   years   ago   i   was   still   a   child   .      a   child   who   sorted   out   all   the   messes   because   i   thought   that’s   what   good   daughters   did   .      if   i’d   had   known   four   years   ago   …      ❞

          “ don’t  lie  to  my  face  ! ”   elsa  shouted  .   she  knew  her  mother  wouldn’t  lie  to  her  about  her  cousins  rejecting  her  .   what  reason  would  her  mum  have  to  lie  about  that  ?   her  mother  wasn’t  that  type  of  person  .   “ what  are  you  talking  about  you  didn’t  know  i  existed  ? ”  how  was  that  possible  .  elsa’s  voice  raised  louder  than  she  expected  .   “ of  course  you  knew  i  existed  .   my  mother  said  you  knew  about  me  .   you  had  to  have  known  about  me  . ”   four  year  ago  she  had  been  young  ,   in  a  new  country  .  

[moralposturing]

“The moon is my mother. She is not sweet like Mary.” — Sylvia Plath, The Moon and the Yew Tree

moodboard request for anon

[elsaernirdottir]

V. The Hierophant — Who does your muse turn to when they’re in desperate need of help?

          it really depends on the situation, but most of the time elsa turns to dmitry for help. she doesn’t like to ask for help, so when she does, it’s usually something big. although, she doesn’t ask him for help with family matters, those she ignores and refuses to deal with most of the time. elsa does however, only go to fenrir greyback with werewolf related problems and only when she doesn’t feel like she has anyone else who would understand her. 

[elsaernirdottir]

CLOSED / @hcrmincs​​

          elsa didn’t want to do this, but she was an anarchist, not a heathen. while she rejected many of her mother’s lessons on how to be a proper lady, she didn’t like it when she felt like she owed someone something. regardless of her feelings about her cousin, elsa did not want to feel like she owed hermina anything, even something as small as cookies. so she’d spent the afternoon making cookies for her cousin and she found herself at the hog’s head, spotting the blonde behind the bar. “icelandic pepper cookies. now i don’t owe you anything,” she shoved the cookies at the blonde. 

[elsaernirdottir]

DMITRY.

“Two rules, Elsa. That’s all I’ve ever asked you to listen to.” As if Dmitry would ever even enforce that much, when it came to Elsa. “If it’s only the one vial and this one time, then fine. But put it in one of those muggle sandwich bags?”

          “if i stare at you unnervingly for a few minutes, will you change your mind?” she asked, looking at him. “are you just afraid you’re boyfriend will see me with blood and get scared? or are you just afraid i’m going to get it on something? because i’ll have you know, i am very good at cleaning spells.” elsa didn’t often listen to the rules that were set because she didn’t think any of them necessarily applied to her. they shouldn’t, even if they did. 

[letzternachtzug]

Diana Silvers; by Justin Hollar for Paper Magazine

[willandgrace]

[elsaernirdottir]

@morozovyaxley

[arrowverse]

[elsaernirdottir]

@morozovyaxley

[elsaernirdottir]

BASTILLE.

who: open where: diagon alley

“No, I’m not touching it.” Baz stood a good ways back, looking at the discarded item in much the way one would regard a very dangerous snake. “Absolutely not. It’s got weird vibes and I’m not touching it.”

          “fine. fine,” she rolled her eyes and looked at her coworker. “this is why i hate working with men. always so damn useless. can’t even do the simple task you were asked to do.” there’s an icy tone to her voice. elsa picked up the item from the muddle of the table. “no weird vibes here, i’m not dead.” 

[elsaernirdottir]

BARTY.

      𝑖𝑡  𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠  𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑠          quite   interesting ,    painting  over  a   picture   you’ve  constructed  for   yourself   over  the  years .    hearing   from   his  cousin  rather  than   about   her  has  that  same   intriguing   effect   —   and  barty  finds  himself  pleasantly   amused   by  it .     ❛     maybe  i  should   rephrase ,   ❜      he  drawls  in  response ,    though  it’s  laced  as  if   charmed .    ❛     it’s  not  like  i’ll  be  catching  you  around   organically   otherwise ,   hm ?    i  don’t  have  much  reason  to   seek   you  out  ,    but   i   might  still  consider  it   nice   to  see  you   around   if  we  live  so  nearby ,   ❜      emphasis  on  the  ‘ i ’    of  it ,    feeling  by  pure   osmosis   that  simply  stating    it   would  be  nice  would  go   unappreciated ,    even  if  the  feeling  is ,    in   honesty ,    mutual .     what  it  doesn’t  stop  is  the  fact  that  barty   is ,   naturally ,    never  going  to  let  any   real   indifference  to  someone  be   shown .   how   else   he’s   interpreted   doesn’t  matter   nearly   as  much .    ❛     yet ,   ❜     he  echoes  the  words  of  choice  in  humour ,    ignoring  the  rest  of  it .    ❛     no ?    maybe  that  was  the  whole   point .   ❜     after  all ,    animosity  or  sudden  panic  make  for   plenty   practice  on  what  someone  could  expect  in   real - world    scenarios .   moreover ,   however   —    he’d  simply  love  a  taste  to  see  how  elsa   adds  up  .     for  reference .    but  he  won’t  push  more  than  he   would   poke  or  prod ,    so  he   bites ,    feigning  some  thought  into  it .     ❛     fair   enough .    well …   ❜     he  pulls  his  lips  together ,    brows  furrowing  before  they  quirk  up  again .    ❛     i  can’t  say  my  list  involves  very  many  you    should   be  punching .    repercussions   included   and  all .     unless  you  had  a  plan  for  doing  so    anonymously ?   ❜

          she didn’t know her cousins and didn’t really care to get to know them. elsa’s lived in england for nearly four years at this point. she took the money from her mum and ran with it. found herself in england, found herself with a new family. while elsa still wrote to her mother, she didn’t consider iceland home. this was her home. “don’t get so excited,” she responded, looking at him closely. elsa wondered if he actually cared. probably not, since he didn’t seem interested in seeking her out. “i don’t live around here. i’m visiting a friend.” she did not care to know him. elsa didn’t see herself hanging out with her cousins when there were other things to do. the obligation to know them because they were family didn’t appeal to her. the fact that he thought she was joking, sparked anger insided her. elsa was always angry these days, the lycanthropy seemed to make it worse, especially during a full moon. “i’m fully capable of handling myself in both a duel and a fist fight,” she snapped. after all, elsa had gone to durmstrang. she knew her strengths were in darker magics than the people here were used to. “considering the lot i hang around, repercussions are not something i regard in the least.” she was angry, irritated, and her entire body ached. “now i’m curious to know who is on your list. i wouldn’t do the dirty work for you, of course.” what she needed was a large forest to roam in for a bit, let herself be healed by being surrounded by nature. it had always calmed her to get lost in the woods. “i have quite the lengthy list of people i’d like to punch in the face.” 

[elsaernirdottir]

DMITRY.

—

“You do have your own flat; you could keep it there.” Dmitry sighed, wondering if maybe he should be rethinking his life choices more than he was. “Don’t you have friends that like blood?” 

          “since when do i listen to you?” elsa didn’t listen to anyone, including dmitry, so she didn’t know why she was suddenly supposed to start. “it’s for a potion, it’s a small vial, and i don’t know. i don’t really have any other friends besides you.” 

[elsaernirdottir]

PERSEPHONE.

—

“If you’re sure you could do it on your own, I’d have no reason to stop you.” Seph shrugged, though she was kind of hoping her lack of confidence would inspire Elsa to prove something. “I don’t think your mother’s wrong, but well-behaved women aren’t given opportunities either. I’ve tried both sides of that coin; this one’s more fun.”

          “i am certain about that, yes,” she replied, knowing her own skill at dark arts coupled with her rage near the full moon would win out among a couple of muggle men on a beach. “i think my mother is a smart woman, but you’re right. i rarely listen to her on matters such as that.” elsa didn’t think of her mother as a role model for the most part. she was way more feral than her mother ever was. “i’m not a well behaved woman. i don’t want to be. what kind of things do you do that aren’t considered refined behavior?” 

[elsaernirdottir]

BAZ.

—

“It does bother me that badly. That would be very nice.” Baz nodded thoughtfully, glad that Elsa saw his point. The Department really needed more people like her, that did more actual work than paperwork fussing. “The interns need to be yelled at, or else they’ll get all weird about yelling and be useless the next time the brains break out. It’s important work, not background noise.”

          “i give any work i don’t want to do to the interns.” she didn’t bother yelling at them like some people. they’d either hate the work and disappear or she’d end up with new coworkers. both scenarios were not ideal. “why bother yelling at them? it’s too much work. i can just send them to agustus for yelling.” she personally didn’t care much for yelling at anyone, except on occasion dmitry when he was being annoying. elsa enjoyed the work here though she did not enjoy working.