summary: the walls you’ve spent so long building are finally collapsing. the unspoken words between you have spilled out. but even though you’ve made your choice… has jinx made hers?
warnings: 18+, mdni, smut, angst, use of y/n, swearing?, oral (r! and j! receiving), fingering (r! and j! recieving), …. bitch idfk lmk if i missed anything… but i probably missed everything. read at your own risk ig.
*day four*
jinx never went home.
never went back to her hideout.
she didn’t climb into places that still felt like hers or haunt the rooftops she always lingers on. she didn’t wander her usual routes or retrace the same paths she always did. she didn’t hide in her usual corners, or stay tucked into rafters.
because now they’re a reminder of you.
so her boots carry her through unfamiliar stretches of the undercity; narrower alleys, quieter streets, places she’s never bothered claiming.
places you’d never think to go.
and still— you follow her anyway.
not physically; but in the way her thoughts keep circling back to you. the way your voice creeps into her head and threads through the silence that’s keeping her sane. jinx presses her tongue against the inside of her cheek, hard enough to sting.
focus.
this isn’t about feelings. it can’t be.
not when nothing adds up. not when sevika knows more than her.
the thought curls, heavy and ugly.
jinx exhales slowly through her nose, fingers twitching restlessly at her sides before she shoves them into her pockets. there’s a rhythm to her steps now; less wandering more intent.
she doesn’t go where sevika is— that’d be too easy, too obvious. instead she goes where sevika will be— routes she runs, deals she oversees, places she recognizes and others she doesn’t.
but jinx knows patterns. she knows how people move when they think no one is watching. and sevika?
sevika’s predictable.
something sharp cuts through the calm in her chest, anticipation. or maybe it’s frustration. either way it’s dangerous.
because if sevika won’t talk— jinx will have to make her.
the last drop sits just across the street now, humming low and constant.
the noise drifts through open doors and cracked windows, the laughter inside is loud; jinx can hear glasses clinking and warped music. voices are slurred and boots drag on pavement more than step.
all while she lingers in the shadows; half-hidden between flickering street lamps and rusted metal.
she doesn’t move right away; she just watches. counts.
people in and out. patterns. they’re always there.
but there’s nothing unusual, nothing worth noting.
so jinx’s gaze moves upwards; past the open doors, past noise, past bar-goers packed inside.
higher. where it’s quieter. where it matters.
she doesn’t cross the street or go anywhere near the entrance— she never planned to. her path cuts sideways, slipping between buildings where light doesn’t reach; it’s familiar. this part always is. she presses into the rough brick, palms biting against the grit as she reaches the back of the building.
her eyes catch your window.
familiar.
the tarp still flails in the wind, and she freezes. just for a second. she can’t seem to tear her gaze away, something behind her ribs pulling tight, a bitter taste rising in the back of her throat.
until she looks down.
“not now.” she mutters under her breath. her jaw is clenched so tight feels like she can bite back the feeling before it spreads. her hands find the wall again, fingers digging into eroding brick; muscle memory taking over as she hauls herself up.
jinx climbs fast— her boots holding her up in places that shouldn’t be possible, her body flush against the building to keep her silhouette hidden, gone before anyone can even think to look.
the roof greets her with silence, cool air, and open space. she straightens slowly, rolling her shoulders back as her eyes sweep over the rooftop, confirming she’s alone.
her gaze dips, tracking the structure beneath her feet as she walks, until it lands exactly where she wants it. just off center, easy to miss— a warped stretch of roofing, just subtle enough to blend in with everything else falling apart up here.
jinx mouth curves slightly. she remembers this.
back when everything was new, back when silco first took over, back when she was still powder.
she’d climbed higher than she was supposed to, pushed on loose boards, pulled where things didn’t line up, and something had given.
the material creaked under the pressure of her fingers wedging under, bending agonizingly slow, until she pried it open with a soft crack. a narrow opening formed underneath her hands; so she dusted them off and ducked her head inside.
dusty rafters, dark shadows, ceiling corners hardly touched by light.
she snorted softly, easing herself down onto to beams below, tugging the roofing back into place over her.
it’s strange how the same motions, on the same path, can feel so different due to the passing of time.
jinx lands in a crouch on silco’s desk, climbing down slowly as her eyes adjust. she’s already mapping the space out of habit— doors, windows, glasses sipped from, a cold cigar, and emptiness.
her arms twitch at her sides before she pulls canisters off her belt and tugs thin wires from her pockets.
one canister goes to the left side of the door. the second, to the right. a wire stretches between them, pulled taut, nearly invisible unless you’re looking for it.
jinx tilts her head, checking once, then nods. she doesn’t need to fidget with it, so she just crosses the room, and drops into the chair like it’s hers. the way it’s been since she got here.
the leather squeaks as she turns slow, her back now facing the door. a gas mask dangles loosely in her hand, briefly tapping against her knee, her foot rocking idly against the floor— impatient, yet still—
the smirk on her face doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
jinx doesn’t know how much time passes before the door swings open and heavy bootsteps hit the floor. loud and recognizable; she doesn’t need to turn around to know it’s exactly who she’s been waiting for.
the door closes with a soft click, there’s a pause, and then the wire snaps.
a sharp hiss cuts through the silence in the room as gas floods the space fast and thick; it spreads before sevika has a chance to react. she’s coughing into her arm while stumbling forward, trying to regain her balance, vision already slipping.
jinx moves slow and calculated— mask up, sealed tight, turning around to face sevika as she reaches for the desk.
jinx laughs softly when she misses, knocking into the wood instead, clutching the edge of the table desperately trying to steady herself.
but it’s already too late.
jinx just lifts her hand and gives a small wave. winking. mocking.
then sevika drops. hard.
the office falls quiet just as fast as it was filled with noise.
jinx waits. one second. then two.
she stands lazily, crossing behind the desk before crouching beside sevika, searching for any sign of movement.
nothing.
the binding comes next; tight and efficiently tied. her wrists then shoulders. the ankles once jinx has her secured to the chair. silco’s chair.
jinx straightens once she’s finished. stepping back to admire her work, head cocking slightly.
perfect.
she climbs up onto the desk, positioning herself across from sevika; the mask hangs loose around her neck, elbows propped up on her knees as she leans forward. waiting.
she tries to keep her thoughts from wandering, from drifting outside these walls, from landing on you.
but as usual, she’s unsuccessful.
because jinx feels guilty— really she does. even if she doesn’t want to.
but she just scoffs low under her breath, stuffing those feelings down deep for now, and turning her attention to the woman sitting in front of her.
her fingers tap restlessly against her thighs, eyes narrowing, a foot gently nudging the chair, “c’mon,” she murmurs. “wake up.”
the sun is peaking above the horizon by the time you finally call it. the morning air denouncing you.
you hadn’t found her. not in any place she should’ve been.
not on rooftops she always circles. or dilapidated buildings she ducks into. she wasn’t anywhere that felt like her.
but you checked them all anyway. every single spot. again and again. and again.
and by the time you finally make it back to the last drop, regardless of your internal objection, the undercity feels different— like it’s holding something back.
the building hums the same way it always does when you step inside; even in the hours before sunrise. but the familiarity settles nothing in your chest, if anything, it makes it all worse.
so you don’t stop or look around— you push through, allowing your feet to carry you up the stairs with muscle memory alone.
the soft noise dulls the higher you go, whispering voices fade, mellow music blurs, until the only sound left is the creaking of wood under your boots.
you pass the level where silco’s office sits without thinking; it’s dark, the door is closed, quiet— nothing out of place. your hand finds the railing automatically, pulling yourself up the last few steps before your door comes into view.
everything looks the same as you left it, and for a moment, it still feels the same too. you’re mindlessly approaching, when you stop just short of the threshold—
because something crawls up your spine. it’s sharp and sudden, settling cold at the base of your neck. your brows knit together as your gaze flicks over the door again, slower this time.
because you can feel it.
the same off balance pull you couldn’t shake all day.
your fingers ball into fists at your sides before you take that final step and your hand lifts to the handle.
the door squeaks softly as you push it open; your gaze sweeping over corners, the bed, then the tarp still hanging in your window; squinting at every shadow that may be hiding something.
but it seems still… undisturbed. nothing out of place.
you step inside, leaving the door open behind you— just in case. your boots scrape against the floorboards as you scan the space again, even slower this time.
something’s off.
you just aren’t entirely sure what it is yet.
your fingertips drag lightly along the edge of the table. the wall. the crumpled sheets on your mattress.
the door crashes shut behind you; and when you spin, you’re not surprised to see her.
jinx steps out from behind the door, her head tilted, eyes dragging over you in way that feels more like an inspection than a greeting.
the smirk that follows feels ominous; tangling with the unease already swirling in your chest.
“wow,” she hums. voice light and amused. “seems like you’ve been busy.”
you clench your teeth and jinx’s smile widens further.
“what? miss me or something?”
your answer doesn’t come right away.
well… it does. but it’s not one you’d like to admit.
your eyes lock—searching— trying to figure out what version of her you’re standing in front of.
“where have you been?” you finally ask flatly.
she scoffs; eyes wild before her expression morphs into disbelief. she takes a step closer. “me? where the fuck have you been?”
her tone is harsh enough you physically recoil— almost flinching. her anger shouldn’t surprise you, but it does.
“you left.” she continues. “in the middle of the night. after you—“ she pauses clenching her jaw; while you take a deep breath, closing your eyes for a second. “—after you almost died in front of me—“
“—stop—“ you try to interrupt but she talks over you. louder.
“—after we hooked up. after you slept with me again—“
“—that’s enough—“
“—and after you broke down sobbing uncontrollably in my arms—”
“—are you done?”
“why did you leave?” she presses.
you shake your head, mumbling through gritted teeth. “i had a mission to complete.”
“so your ‘mission’,” she air quotes. “was more important?”
you sigh calmly. “at the time—“
“bullshit, y/n.” jinx growls, cutting you off. “it was all a set up! a little fucking game silco orchestrated!” she takes another step, crowding you. “it almost got you killed!” you open your mouth to respond, but she keeps going. “and then? you still fucking crawled back to him.”
“i didn’t know—“
“ohhh, right. so that makes it better?”
there’s a brief pause, your brain reeling, desperately trying to catch up. you’ve spent hours searching for her, the entire night— you wanted this conversation, you sought out this discussion, but it is not going as well as you’d planned.
you shrug, taking a breath. “what did you expect me to do? i had a job to finish.”
she laughs, it’s loud, but it holds no humor. “you’re right, not sure why i would’ve expected anything less. you’ve always been such a kiss ass.”
your mouth presses into a thin line, teeth nibbling on the flesh of your inner lip, nostrils flaring as you inhale sharply. “you just don’t know how to follow directions. it has nothing to do with being a kiss ass.”
“sure toots,” her eyes drag up and down your body. “that’s why you dragged yourself through the lanes, shoulder blown open and all, just to get back to him.”
that realization hits hard, you blink a few times, forcing yourself back into this moment; refusing to let the memory playback.
“you have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“i know exactly what i’m talking about. you’ll be on your death bed still desperate to please him.”
“shut the fuck up.” you spit.
“aw, you gonna find silco and tell him i hurt your feelings?”
“that’s not funny.”
“you know what else isn’t funny?” she snaps immediately. “saving your life and then realizing you’d still choose him.” she shakes her head, huffing through her nose. “you’re even more brainwashed than i thought.”
you surge forward before you can stop yourself, shoving her hard enough to stumble into the door behind her. “don’t talk about shit you don’t understand.”
jinx rebounds instantly, her hands fisting into the front of your jacket, slamming you into the wall to your right. “you think i don’t understand?” she spits. “you’ve always been silco’s boring little sidekick. you do whatever he says. because you’re blinded by the need to feel important.”
your breathing falters, not due to fear or anger. but proximity.
you hate that your body will betray you in her presence.
you hate that even now, furious and shaking, she’s still the first person you’d search for in any room.
“you don’t know me.”
her eyes narrow, pushing you into the wall harder. “i know enough.” her head dips. “you know what else i know?” you squint. “that you should be healing. at least resting.” you swallow hard. “but instead you’re out sparring with gustov and going on jobs with sevika.”
you can hear your heartbeat thrumming in your ears, “that’s… not your business—“
“why? do you think i’m stupid?”
“i didn’t say that—“
“i watched you train like you weren’t bleeding out on my workbench 3 nights ago.”
and that memory crashes into violently— blue braids and blood. gadgets and gunfire. sutures and sex.
the aftermath of pier 7.
“i watched you from the rafters that very next day. so i didn’t need the confirmation, but i went back anyway. i talked to him.” your head snaps up. “hours later, in that same fucking warehouse.”
the breath is pulled from your lungs as her eyes lock onto yours. “and he just sat there, justifying everything he did.” a hollow laughs slips out. “like pumping you full of shimmer was the obvious solution.”
your expression hardens instantly before shoving her off of you, hard enough she takes a few steps back. “that is not what happened.”
“no?” she questions, already inching closer. “then what did happen, y/n?”
“he was trying to help me heal.”
“no. he was testing your loyalty.” jinx shuffles further forward, standing in front of you again. “silco doesn’t give a shit that you were almost killed. he only wants to make sure you’re still useful to him.”
your lip twitches; you know the truth. you know it was planned. you know silco caused everything.
but right now?
your anger, your fear, your pain— doesn’t care. it has a point to prove.
“i wouldn’t have been almost killed if you hadn’t showed up and compromised my position.”
she huffs, throwing her arms up. “great, so we’re back to this now?”
“well, you wanna stand here pretending you care what shimmer does to me? maybe don’t sabotage my fucking missions.”
“right, ‘cause that’s the real issue here.”
“it is the issue, jinx. yeah, sure. silco gave the order, but you had no problem seeing it through.”
“i didn’t know—“
“ohhhh. so that makes it better?”
your mirrored words are like a lit match to gasoline.
and before you can blink, her arm is against your throat, chest flush against yours, you can feel her heart pounding behind her ribcage.
you barely have time to get your hands up again; grabbing and shoving, movements fast, but messy— a language the two of you learned years ago.
“you think i like being the reckless one? the one he assumes will fuck up?” you grip her wrist tightly and grit your teeth. “you’re silco’s perfect daughter and i’m just the stray he took in!”
you’re struggling in her grip, pushing roughly against her hold. “it’s not my problem that’s the reputation you’ve obtained.”
“it’s not the reputation i wanted.” she huffs, still trying to keep you against the wall. “you really think i wanted this?”
“i think you lean into it.” you fire back, forcing her arm down, pinning her just long enough to make your point. “every. time!”
her knee jerks up, catching your side just right. pain blooms outward, knocking the breath from your lungs and breaking your hold. jinx yanks her arm from your grip, urging you back again.
“and what do you lean into, huh?” she spits, leaning in closer. “obedience? following every rule? being boring?”
“boring is better than careless.”
“you’re not better. just more desperate for daddy’s approval.”
“that’s your narrative. not the truth.”
“it is the truth. and you’re mad that for once, i’m right.”
‘the truth’.
you want to lunge forward.
you almost do.
your mind is screaming at you to finish the fight, to shut her up, to prove something.
but you don’t.
because the energy shifts.
not in her, but in you.
the anger that had just been so certain, now feels… misdirected. because you realize, you remember, sevika’s admission, the truth—
that silco set this entire thing up.
your rage, should be directed at him. not jinx.
so you take a slow, calming breath in, and hold her gaze.
“i know exactly what it all ooks like.” your voice is steadier than you feel; and jinx swallows thickly. “following orders. being what he needs me to be. believing in a legacy.” there’s a pause as your jaw flexes. “but you are no different.”
her reaction isn’t immediate; it’s not explosive.
but you see the storm swirling in her eyes.
“what’s that supposed to mean?”
her arm loosens.
“you were given all the intel you needed. the routes, the timeline, me…” a momentary silence stretches between you. “and you did exactly what you always do.”
jinx’s lashes flutter as she looks down, fists curling. not in anger, in something closer to realization. she allowed you to push her back softly, moving around her towards the center of the room.
“knowledge isn’t coincidental, jinx. he knew you would.”
you shake your head, more to yourself than her. “this was never about the mission.” you murmur. “it wasn’t even about me. or ‘proving my value’.” your gaze lifts back to hers. “it was about ensuring we’d always choose him. that was the test.”
the reality finally settles in. clear as ever.
this wasn’t about pier 7. or the crystal. or each other.
it’s always been about him. the way he built you both. lesson by lesson. choice by choice.
it was never soft, never safe.
neither of you have ever been loved in a way that didn’t come with conditions.
not until her.
and not until you.
and he had to change that.
your voice drops lower. “we’re fighting the same battle.”
jinx is silent. for once, she doesn’t have something sharp to throw back. her eyes flicker— a brief resistance, then something cracking just under the surface.
you sit down on the edge of your bed, clasping your hands together, jinx watches you closely.
“we’re not fighting against each other,” then softer, you add. “we’re fighting against the monsters he made us into.”
the truth lingers, not loud or dramatic, just true.
the air is still thick with everything that almost broke apart, along with the things that did.
jinx exhales, “we’re both just… daughters of the same man.”
“bingo.”
and sitting there, facing her, you finally get it.
silco didn’t raise you to be loved, he raised you to last.
to endure, to survive.
no matter what it cost.
even if it cost each other.
but all these years later, you finally realize that it’s not a price you’re willing to pay.
so you’re sat there, on the edge of the bed, shoulders tight, body humming with leftover adrenaline— and you feel a weighted relief.
the truth is out.
but what is the consequence of honesty in a city full of liars?
jinx stands a few feet away, arms hanging loosely at her sides. you can feel that she wants to say something, the tension between you almost palpable.
eventually…
“you said…” she trails off before clearing her throat. “you said there would never be anything between us…” she can’t seem to lift her eyes from the floor. “did really you mean that?”
your chest tightens as she stands there, sharp edges gone and strangely quiet. no smirk. no teasing. no chaos to hide behind.
just raw, emotional uncertainty.
and somehow, this is the most terrifying version of her you’ve ever seen.
you lean forward, elbows resting on your knees, and swallow once before answering.
“i wanted to. i tried to.”
the confession suffocates the room like a cloud of smoke. your voice rough around the edges.
“do you know how many times i told myself this,” you motion between you and her, “didn’t exist?”
her eyes finally rise to meet yours as you go on, “how many times i convinced myself you were too dangerous?” her expression shifts— not anger, but pain.
you hold her gaze anyway.
“because you are.” it’s honest. harsh but truthful. “you’re impulsive and unpredictable and you make every situation worse—“ jinx snorts. “—but you’re the first person that’s ever made me feel like there’s more to life than silco.” whatever amusement she felt, suddenly vanishes. your throat feels like it’s closing. “and… i wish i hated that. but i don’t.”
jinx goes very still. her eyes still boring into yours.
“silco spent my whole life teaching me what survival looked like. control. discipline. loyalty…” your eyes flick down briefly before returning to the intensity of her stare. “and then you came along and destroyed every version of myself that i’d ever built.”
“it wasn’t intentional…” she shrugs. “at least not at first.”
the room falls silent for a moment. both of you breathing heavy and unable to look away from each other. her throat bobs when you shake your head faintly, a strained laugh falling from your lips.
“i kept telling myself it was just… curiosity? a rivalry gone wrong?” your jaw tightens momentarily. “anything except what it actually is.”
jinx is watching you like she is trying to memorize every crack forming in you, she takes a mindless step closer, you rise slowly. “and what is it?”
the question should be simple.
but it isn’t when the answer feels catastrophic.
your chest rises and falls unevenly; both of you standing there, dulled edges and bruised pride. the same girl you were trained to distrust. the same girl you were never supposed to need.
and still—
everything around you feels like it’s narrowing to only her.
you swallow hard. “all i know, is if i love you…” your voice cracks as you speak. “then he’s not the center of my world anymore. and that scares me just as much as it liberates me.”
jinx’s lips part slightly as she makes sense of the confession and the tragedy that resides behind it.
silco didn’t just pit you against each other, he created a world where loving one another felt shameful. disloyal. wrong.
yet still…
despite everything—
it happened anyway.
“that’s…” she sucks in sharply. “tough…”
you laugh softly, just a breath, and nod slow. “i know.”
jinx shifts her weight awkwardly before dragging a hand over the back of her neck. “so what now? we just magically stop trying to kill each other?”
you snort, despite yourself. “probably not.”
that earns you the smallest smile, fleeting, gone too fast.
but you catch it anyway, you always do.
jinx tilts her head, raising a brow. “what?”
“nothing.”
“you’re staring.”
“well…” you shrug, “you’re still here….”
you both stop, falling silent again, because that’s the real problem, isn’t it? one of you is always leaving. there’s always something dragging the two of you apart. nothing has had a chance to become real.
her voice lowers, “do you want me to stay?”
your heart lurches, pulse stuttering; you should say no. that anything happening between you would be a mistake. but instead—
“yeah, maybe i do.”
she lets out a shaky breath through her nose, looking down at the floor again, like the vulnerability is physically draining. “you’re making this really hard.”
the corner of your mouth twitches, “good. you deserve it.”
she laughs softly, genuine this time, small yet surprised.
and gods—
you think you may burn down the entire undercity just to hear that sound again.
and that terrifies you more than anything else.
jinx must sense it; her eyes soften, and she takes another step forward; cautiously now, as if she’s giving you an opportunity to change your mind about everything. her hand reaches out anyway, fingertips brushing your wrist.
her eyes linger on your lips, wetting her own as the grip tightens on your arm. “you can… tell me to stop…”
but you don’t.
instead, your free hand reaches up as the space closes between you; pushing a braid over her shoulder before trailing a fingertip down to her collarbone. “what if i don’t wanna stop?”
any uncertainty in her expression melts away; any doubt is replaced by desire, and before you can process it, your lips press against hers.
the kiss is messy and emotional, teeth and desperation, years of pent-up frustration and forbidden feelings spilling over. the weight of the last 4 days is seemingly collapsing any walls you’ve tried to build up.
she tastes like smoke and alcohol, the smell of gunpowder sticks to her skin, everything so uniquely jinx.
her hands tangle in your hair, tugging you closer as the kiss deepens. your fingers trace the line of her jaw, down the column of her throat; the feeling of her pulse under your fingertips makes your heart flutter.
she gasps against your lips as your nails scrape softly against her shoulder. you swallow the sound, your other hand sliding up to rest on the back of her neck, desperate for more of her.
she pushes your jacket down and barely breaks apart from you long enough to tug your shirt off. you don’t hesitate to lift your arms, allowing her to easily pull it over your head.
her hands are quickly on your bare skin, exploring, remembering every dip and curve of your body.
your breath hitches when her lips drop to the sensitive skin on your neck while she unclasps your bra. jinx tosses it somewhere behind her before her thumbs brush over your nipples, teasing them into hardness.
“jinx—“ your moan breathlessly against her lips, arching into her touch.
she smirks, but there’s still something soft laced in her expression. “what, baby?”
you whine at the nickname, turning to putty in her hands. “don’t stop.”
that’s all the encouragement she needs; her mouth finds yours again, forcing you back onto the mattress. you pull her with you, the weight a welcome pressure as she continues to leave soft marks on your skin.
she settles between your thighs, one leg still anchoring her to the floor; lips trailing down your neck, across your collarbone, the skin burning in their wake. your hands tug at the hem of her top, yearning for her bare torso against yours. she tears it off quickly, dropping it to the side; and when she leans back down, hovering above you, she pulls one of your nipples into her mouth.
you cry out, fingers digging into the flesh of her shoulders. jinx hums against your skin, nibbling gently; she gives equal attention to the other side before continuing her journey downward.
you’re squirming helplessly as her hands work at the button of your pants, lifting your hips to help her pull them off. the cool air hits the heated flesh, forcing a shiver up your spine, goosebumps flaring across your body.
“look at you,” she murmurs. “and all this time, i’ve been trying to convince myself i hate you.” her eyes rake over your exposed skin.
“me too.” you whisper, voice trembling.
she smiles, one that reaches her eyes. “funny how that worked out.”
then she’s moving down your body, lips pressing wet kisses against your stomach, hips, thighs… you’re vibrating as her breath fans across the thin fabric still covering your core, she’s kneeling on the floor, looking up at you, eyes half lidded.
you whine louder, uncomfortably wet, gushing into your panties. jinx simply shushes you, pulls the fabric down your legs slow and teasing, then licks a long stripe through your folds.
your head tosses back against the crumpled sheets, your fingers tangling through her loosely styled hair as you desperately try to ground yourself.
the sensation is overwhelming— a hot, spark of electricity that flickers through your whole body. jinx isn’t phased by the tugging at her roots, taking her time, tasting you throughly.
you can’t help but arch your spine, pressing yourself further into her mouth. “ gods,” you gasp breathlessly, hips bucking involuntarily. “jinx…”
she only hums against you, the vibrations sending another wave of pleasure through you. her tongue finds your clit, circling it slowly before gently sucking. your vision blurs, color dancing behind your eyelids as she works you higher and higher.
“please—” you beg, not entirely sure what you’re asking for. more? less? for it to never end?
jinx seems to understands regardless, increasing her pace and slowly adding her fingers. the dual sensation pushes you impossibly close to the edge, that coiling tension in your lower belly tightening with every movement.
your legs tremble, breaths coming out in short ragged pants; her fingers pump faster, the assault on your clit forcing your hips off the mattress. jinx holds you down with her free arm and your hands immediately wrap around it, gripping tightly, nails digging into the flesh there.
jinx groans low against you and you’re teetering right on the edge of bliss— but she pulls back slightly, looking at you with dark eyes.
“i want to see you. eyes on me.” her voice is raspy, rough with desire.
you struggle to tear your eyes open, meeting her gaze as her mouth descends on you once again. the intensity in her stare, combined with the pleasure coursing through you, is too much. you nearly choke on an inhale as your orgasm crashes over you like a tidal wave, your body convulsing under her as you cry out.
jinx doesn’t stop, only slows; working you through the pleasure until your trying to pull yourself away.
she eventually shifts back, standing to her full height, one knee still halfway on the bed. she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, smug grin spread across her face.
you hardly give her time to catch her breath before pulling her back down to the mattress and climbing on top of her.
“your turn.”
you make quick work of the rest of her clothes, hands roaming her body the same reverent way hers did yours. she’s so responsive— arching into you when your fingers roll her nipples between them, her hips hiking up as you grind down, whimpering as your lips drag across the sensitive spots on her skin.
in under a minute, she’s already an absolute mess beneath you.
your hand drifts down between you as your lips continue their attack on her neck. your fingers find her folds and glide through effortlessly, her slick coating your skin.
“fuck, you’re already so wet,” you murmur against her. she whines softly, rolling her hips up to meet your touch. “all this just from touching me?”
“shut— up.” her voice betrays her, hitching as your circle her swollen nub.
you can only smirk as you lower your head to take one of her nipples into your mouth. she arches into you, a broken moan escaping her lips as you suck and nibble; your fingers continuing their exploration below.
after a louder whine and another buck of her hips, you slowly push two fingers in; her walls clamping down as she releases a heavy sigh.
“please,” her hands grip at the sheets, before threading through your hair, urging you closer. “please, y/n. i need—“
“i know what you need.” your voice is low and shaky.
you curl your fingers, slow and steady, finding that spot that makes her whole body lurch. jinx gasps, her thighs trembling. her grip on your hair tightens, nails scraping lightly against your scalp.
“fuck, yes! right there—“ she breathes, hiccuping on the last word. the sound of her jagged breathing mixing with the obscene sound of her soaked heat.
you add a third finger and she keens loudly, back arching sharply off the bed.
your mouth finds breast again, tongue flicking relentlessly over her nipple. a rigid, desperate sound is torn from her throat as her walls flutter around your fingers. her free hand claws at your shoulder, sharp nails digging in.
“faster,” she demands, though it sounds more like a plea. “don’t— don’t tease me. i can’t—“
you lift your head just enough to catch her fucked-out expression. “fuck… you’re so pretty like this.”
her eyes glassy, pupils blown wide, lips parted around every shaky inhale. your grind the heel of your palm against her clit and with every thrust of your fingers, she breaks down further and further.
her thighs clamp around your wrist, a sob cut short spills out; her whole body tenses, then shudders violently, walls pulsing tightly around your fingers.
you don’t stop right away, softly thrusting until she’s twitching and pushing weakly at your wrist. only then do you ease your fingers out, bringing them to your mouth without breaking eye contact. jinx watches, chest heaving as you lick them clean.
“get up here.” her voice is hoarse, hands already impatiently tugging you up. “now.”
she doesn’t wait for a response, just drags you into a messy, hungry kiss, tasting herself on your tongue. her teeth catch your bottom lip as her hands roam possessively over your back and shoulders; her thighs are still shaking from aftershocks, but she’s already grinding up into you again.
you resist for a moment, lifting your head to look at her face. “greedy.” you whisper, voice thick with amusement and want.
“just shut up and touch me.” she growls, even though it comes out breathy and completely wrecked. her hips roll against your thigh, smearing her arousal over your flesh. “i need more, need you.”
you give in easily enough, dropping down in between her thighs, her head falling back against the mattress before you even touch her. she’s even wetter now, leaking onto the sheets, slick and hot.
your tongue pokes out, softly teasing her drenched slit with the tip.
“fuck, y/n—“ she cracks, hips snapping up, chasing every stroke. it’s loud, unrestrained, every sound she makes going straight to your core.
“stay still.” you mutter against her folds.
her heads lifts to look down at you, eyes finding yours before rolling back. “feels s’good, fuck…”
you pull her clit into your mouth, sucking gently. jinx jolts and a long shaky moan fills the space, encouraging you to set a brutal pace, lapping and biting until she’s writhing.
her hand grips the back of your neck. holding you in place as she grinds into your face.
“close… I’m so close again, oh my fucki…” she rambles, high and desperate. “please, please, please don’t stop. don’t you… dare stop—“
you slide one finger in, lightly stretching her, and curling just enough to have her seeing stars.
you barely finishing curling your finger a second time before her walls instantly clench, gushing over your hand as she falls over the edge. jinx watches you through half-lidded eyes as you slow down, gently massaging her heat with your tongue until she’s nearing overstimulation.
it’s not long before she collapses against the mattress and you’re crawling back up her body, leaving soft kisses on her torso as the room grows quiet. the frantic energy that had consumed you both finally begins to settle; leaving nothing behind but tangled limbs, uneven breathing, and the distant hum of zaun outside broken window.
you press a lingering kiss against her temple before pulling a blanket over both of you. jinx doesn’t protest, or make a joke. she doesn’t run. she follows when you shift higher on the bed, settling properly against the pillows.
a few moments later, she curls into your side, head resting on your chest as though she’s done it 100 times before.
maybe in another life, she has.
the silence that falls between you isn’t awkward— it’s warm. comfortable. easy.
your fingers drift through the loose strands of blue hair that splay across your shoulder, jinx tracing absent patterns on your skin.
for while, neither of you says anything; then her hand stills.
you feel her fingertips brush along your shoulder, along the scar.
4 days ago there had been a bullet there.
today there’s only smooth, healed skin. jinx follows the mark carefully— once. twice. like she’s verifying it’s real.
you glance down at her; she’s staring at the scar underneath her fingertips. quiet. thoughtful, sad even.
“what?” you ask softly.
jinx doesn’t say anything immediately. her fingers just continue their slow path around the mark.
when she finally speaks, her voice is smaller than anything you’e used to hearing. “why did you leave?”
your hand stills in her hair, the question catching you off guard. not because of what she asked, but because of how she asked it.
no anger, no accusation, no resentment. just curiosity, a genuine need to understand.
jinx lifts her head enough to look at you. “i keep thinking about it.” she admits, her eyes dropping back to the scar. “you were hurt. you were scared.” a pause. “and then when i woke up… you were just… gone. why?”
the words linger, because she isn’t asking about your loyalty to silco or your dedication to your missions.
she’s asking why you left her behind.
you stare at the ceiling for a moment, searching for an answer you’ve been avoiding for days.
eventually, you exhale. “i think a part of me already knew…”
jinx’s brow furrows. “knew what?”
you look down at her again— recognizing the limited space between you, the way she’s curled into your side, the way neither of you will look away from the other for too long. “knew that i’d choose you.”
understanding flickers across her features.
“so… i guess, you answered your own question.” you suck in a breath. “i was hurt, i was scared, and everything i thought i knew was falling apart.”
the admission leaves your chest feeling hollow.
the mission, silco, your future, your place in all of it.
everything started collapsing all at once.
and somewhere in the middle of it all, had been jinx.
her fingers trace the scar again. slowly, carefully.
“and what if… it wasn’t falling apart?”
you huff softly through your nose, the question more painful than it should be. “maybe things would’ve been different.”
her eyes flicker with something unreadable.
“but they aren’t.” you shift beneath the blankets, nudging her shoulder slightly. “so let’s worry about where we’re at right now.”
it’s silent for a second, then jinx gives a small nod. “okay.”
it’s comfortably quiet after that. the kind neither of you has ever really had with anyone else. your eyes grow heavier, the exhaustion of the last few days finally catching up with you.
jinx settles closer, you feel her arm slide across your stomach, her breathing evening out against your chest.
and eventually, you drift off…
but jinx doesn’t.
at first she just listens— to your heartbeat, to your breathing, to the soft creak of the mattress every time one of you moves. and for the first time in forever, her head isn’t loud. not entirely. but it’s quieter.
her fingers are still drifting along your scar absently. along the skin that should’ve never been torn.
she never wanted any of this to happen.
she can’t stay.
her jaw tightens, and before she can stop it, and the memory resurfaces.
silco’s office. sevika slumped over in his chair. ropes. gas. bloodshot eyes.
“he knows you took it.”
jinx had laughed. actually laughed. “really? then why hasn’t he come looking for it.”
sevika’s expression hadn’t changed, that was the first thing jinx noted felt wrong. because sevika is always cocky when she’s right. but she just stared at jinx. almost pitying.
“because he’s not coming for you.”
jinx remembers she slid off the desk, the grin slowly slipping from her face. “what does that mean?”
sevika had exhaled heavily. “means he already knows where it is.” she pauses. “and he’s got a better way of getting it back.”
jinx can still feel the way her stomach dropped. “what better way?” sevika looked directly at her.
“y/n.”
the look on sevika’s face made her feel sick.
“he’s gonna tell her it was stolen.” jinx remembers she stopped breathing. “and she’s going to investigate.” another brief pause. “and when she finds it? she’ll know who took it.”
jinx went cold, that realization pouring over her like a bucket of ice water.
“he’s not just trying to get crystal back,” her voice sharpens. “he’s trying to make sure she knows you stole it.”
jinx stares at the ceiling as the memory loosens its grip. the room is dark and quiet, other than the steady rhythm of your breaths. your arm is still draped across her waist— heavy, warm, trusting.
she hates it.
not because she wants it gone, but because she doesn’t. and the second she moves, it will be gone.
just stay.
she clenches her teeth impossibly tighter as the thought appears suddenly.
stay.
her eyes close.
sevika can wait. the crystal can wait. silco can wait. everything can wait.
you shift slightly in your sleep, pulling her closer instinctively; and the movement nearly breaks her.
“not fair.” she mutters under her breath.
but of course, you don’t hear her, you’re asleep.
the silence stretches longer. a minute, maybe 5, maybe 20. she doesn’t keep track. because she keeps telling herself she’s leaving.
and then she doesn’t.
her gaze travels over your face— the faint crease between your brows, the loose strands of hair scattered across your pillow, the exhaustion still lingering on your features.
you look younger in your sleep, softer.
like the weight of the undercity isn’t pressing down on your shoulders. at least for tonight.
jinx’s expression crumbles for half a second. then she carefully reaches up, brushing a strand of hair from your forehead.
“you make everything so complicated.” the words are barely audible, and you still don’t answer. so jinx let’s herself stare, for just a little longer.
then suddenly, she understands why you left.
because staying would’ve meant admitting something terrifying. something impossible to ignore. something that would change everything.
and if you had stayed, then silco had won.
jinx closes her eyes once more, and takes a long, slow breath. “okay. fine.”
decision made.
because if she stays now, silco wins later.
and she won’t let that happen. not after tonight. not after you chose her.
slowly, she lifts your arm from her waist, peeling herself from your side. you immediately frown in your sleep, and jinx freezes, her heart stops.
but you don’t wake. you just shift closer to the space she’s leaving behind. and the sight hurts her more than she’d like to admit.
“don’t make me feel bad.” her voice cracks, but you remain asleep. completely unaware.
then she leans forward, hesitates, for maybe the first time in her life, and presses a kiss against your forehead.
gentle. loving. the kind of tenderness she’d deny under torture.
but when she pulls away, her chest physically aches. because she wants so badly to crawl back under the sheets. to stay. to choose you now.
but instead, she dresses silently, reaches for her boots, and crosses the room towards the window. she stops in front of it, looking back one last time— you’re still curled into the blankets, still trusting she’ll be there when morning comes.
jinx grips the window frame hard, pushing the tarp to the side slowly. “i’m coming back.”
the promise is whispered into darkness, not for you, for herself.
then before she can change her mind, she slips into the night.
and leaves behind the only place she’s ever truly wanted to stay.
the city air feels charged. enforcers still linger, the people of the zaun are on edge, and jinx senses it. she lands hard on the rooftop across the street, boots skidding slightly against damp metal before she steadies herself.
for moment, she doesn’t move, or breathe. her hand is still curled like it’s resting on your forehead.
“fuck— focus.”
below, the undercity is vibrating the same way it always does— alive, restless, indifferent.
but tonight everything feels louder. meaner. less forgiving.
sevika is already there by the time she arrives; waiting in the skeleton of the old industrial yard, half shadowed beneath broken beams and flickering light.
“you’re late.” she calls without looking up.
jinx drops down from the edge of the structure above, landing with a controlled roll.
but jinx doesn’t laugh, or grin, or joke. and sevika notices right away.
“you okay?”
jinx scoffs automatically, but it’s thin.
“yeah. amazing.”
sevika studies her, long enough that the silence becomes uncomfortable.
“you look like shit.”
“thanks.”
she pushes off the crate she’s leaning on. “so… where is it?”
jinx rolls her eyes, dramatically circling sevika before venturing in the direction of the hidden crystal.
“around.”
she huffs. “that’s comforting.”
jinx ignores her, moving deeper into the space. past broken machinery, past scorched marks that never washed away, past places where everything used to mean something entirely different.
her steps slow near a collapsed section of flooring; she crouches, and reaches under a loose metal panel.
“seriously?” she asks. “that’s where you left it?”
“shut up.” jinx mutters.
her fingers touch something cool and violently unstable, hidden and waiting. she pulls, and the crystal slides free with a faint scrape.
it catches the dim moonlight spilling through the broken roof, refracting it in blues and greens.
for a second, jinx just holds it up, staring at it. not because it’s beautiful. but because this tiny little ball of glass has nearly destroyed her life.
well… what’s left of it.
sevika takes a cautious step closer. “so, that’s what all the trouble’s been for?”
jinx closes her fingers around it. “yeah… something like that.”
there’s a momentary stretch of silence before sevika finally speaks. “you ready?”
but jinx doesn’t answer right away, because something feels off. the air feels too still in the wrong places. it feels like the walls are listening. her eyes scan the corners, flick up to the rafters, follow cracks in the windows.
nothing.
“yeah…” she says slowly. “i’m ready.”
she starts to stand—
and the feeling returns.
along with a soft click.
jinx freezes instantly, her head snapping in the direction of the sound.
but it’s too late.
they’re already here.
white light flares across the warehouse, blinding.
sevika curses, and stumbles back behind a wooden crate.
“move in!” someone shouts.
that’s when the second wave hits— bootsteps. shouting. the slam of coordinated movements flooding entrances and exits.
piltover enforcers pour in from upper levels as if they’ve been waiting just outside the frame of reality.
“drop your weapons!”
rifles snap into place. doors seal. any chance of escape disappears.
“no…” jinx mutters.
another muffled shout, more boots hitting metal catwalks overhead. sevika grabs her arm and yanks.
“now is not the time for whatever you’re thinking about.”
the circle around them is closing in clean.
too specifically.
jinx realizes this isn’t random.
it’s not a raid. it’s a containment.
“we’ve been set up…”
sevika fires a blind shot upwards. “what?”
“they knew i’d be here.”
sevika doesn’t answer, and that’s more than she needs.
her blood runs cold, and the circle fully closes around them.
hands grab at sevika first— she swings hard, cracking a helmet, but there are too many of them. too fast. too coordinated.
“jinx—“ sevika grunts as restraints clamp over her wrists.
jinx takes a step back instinctively, crystal still in hand.
a rifle cocks near her head. “don’t move!”
another behind her.
another at her side.
she turns once, and realizes there isn’t any space left uncovered.
sevika is forced down to her knees. struggling. swearing. still fighting.
but jinx has gone still.
because as hands grab at her wrists roughly, as the cool metal bites into her skin, as the crystal is ripped from her fingers…
she realizes something.
she didn’t just walk into an ambush, she walked into a plan that was already in motion.
and she was never the one pulling the strings.
as she’s shoved forward, sevika shouting behind her, jinx can only manage one thought.
not about escape.
not about about survival.
but about you.
you still asleep.
you still believing she meant what she said.
you still unaware, that when you wake, she’ll be gone.
next part masterlist main masterlist
so yeah… wow.
sorry this look FOREVER literally FOREVER 😭
i’m also still juggling how i wanna end this. i HAD a plan… but idk… it’s still up in the air as of now…
to angst or to not angst… that’s the real question.
thank you so so much for being patient with me :/ i’ve been busy and then i took a small break from writing bc i was so overwhelmed with life, but we’re BACK!!!
daughters of the same man act iv part 3 is written!!!
i am proofreading it, adding final touches, and it will be posted sometime this week. i’m thinking there will probably be 2 more acts and that’ll be it😭
i’m gonna lock in and post more i swear. (this could be a boldfaced lie, but i’m really gonna try!)
thank you to everyone who’s read this series. i appreciate your support and as always
okay… i’m so sorry to my daughters of the same man readers… i know i’ve been taking forever and a day to update… but i started working on my under the lights fic again😭😭😭😭 IM SORRYYYYYY I MISSED IT SM😭😭
it was just worlds season and all the videos took me back and i just had to. CHEERLEADER ELLIE IDK I LOVE IT
i’ll probably still update daughters of the same man before under the lights but idk we’ll see i’ve been on a KICK.
Hey hey hey! I wanted to say that every time I finish reading your fics I just sit there in awe for a few minutes, and these last two parts of DotSM have me gagged. I know I am a little late to the party, but wow. I am so stoked for what’s next. Take care.
i just want to say thank you to whoever sent me this🥺
and i want to apologize? i guess…? for not updating any of my fics or writing really at all. i just haven’t had time, and when i do have time i’m just exhausted. life’s just been… life…recently.
i’ve been working A LOT at two very emotionally taxing places so i haven’t had any energy to write. or do anything really.
i had a major breakthrough the other day though and i promise i’ll be updating daughters of the same man soon.
i also have a request i’m trying to write. it’s very toxic themes lol.
again, thank you anon <3
i do this for fun, for myself, but it feels good to know others enjoy my work too.
this is a little different from my usual stuff. i’ve been really struggling with… idk getting older i guess? and i’ve been finding comfort in just… getting it out.
*definitely read at your own risk… this doesn’t go in deep to childhood trauma, but alludes to it*
i went through a hard time in my teen years and it still impacts me so heavily to this day. i was a shitty person, but i went through a lot, so here’s me getting some of that off my chest.
i was a different kind of older sister.
not the kind you copy.
or the kind you look up to.
i was the warning.
i didn’t tell my brother bedtime stories or let my sister raid my closet.
she didn’t sit on the edge of my bed and cry about boys.
he didn’t invite me to his little league games.
my siblings didn’t learn love from me.
they listened to slammed doors and raised voices.
they sat at top of the stairs and held their breath when the house got quiet.
they learned that love doesn’t always make you feel safe.
my mom didn’t braid my hair or paint my nails.
she’d just find boxes of hair dye or press on nails on the bathroom floor.
my dad didn’t accidentally find my diary in my backpack.
or awkwardly stumble across first thong in the laundry.
he found a half-empty carton of cigarettes and a homemade bong.
my parents didn’t confiscate my phone or lecture me about grades.
they took my drugs and sent me to rehab.
their all nighters weren’t the result of movie marathons or high school sleepovers.
but instead because i was hours past curfew.
or i snuck out and turned off my phone.
they waited for a knock on the door.
or a call that i’d never come home.
my dad didn’t have an eldest daughter he could brag about.
just respond to “how’s your oldest?” with shrugs and vague half-answers.
he didn’t have star athlete or a homecoming queen.
but a daughter who got high in the school parking lot instead of going to class.
eventually, he stopped asking questions.
because the truth was something he couldn’t afford to hear.
i taught my siblings how to lie.
how to cover for me.
quick lies that slid off their tongues.
“she’s fine.”
“she wouldn’t do that.”
“i don’t know.”
i taught them how to grow up in the spaces i left behind.
i made them older than they were supposed to be.
i was their first lesson.
what not to become.
i taught them that being the first born doesn’t mean guidance.
or protection.
or a steady presence in their life.
it doesn’t mean having a role model.
or someone to look up to.
sometimes it means learning what not to do.
sometimes it means learning life lessons most will never have to.
sometimes it means losing something you never had.
i wish i could say that i’d go back.
that i’d rewrite it.
that i’d be a better sister.
a better daughter.
a better version of the person everyone wanted me to be.
someone worth looking up to.
but… i wouldn’t.
i couldn’t.
because the truth is?
that girl was surviving in ways no one clapped for.
showing up in ways no one praised.
she was loud because she was broken.
she was reckless because she felt there was nothing to lose.
and there’s no way to unravel that without stripping her of everything that’s kept her alive.
so no, i wouldn’t change it.
because somewhere in the mess of the damage and the distance i put between us.
i made sure they didn’t follow me.
i took the fall so they knew where the ground was.
i set the bar low so it’d be easy to exceed.
maybe in another life, we’re still family.
maybe i’m the older sister they deserved.
one with soft hugs.
easy laughter.
a second home they can always run to.
maybe i’m the daughter my parents can brag about.
one that always shows up.
trustworthy.
someone they can count on.
maybe in another life, the version of me that they wished for.
prayed for.
does exist.
but here?
they got a lesson.
not a sister.
and not a daughter.
i wouldn’t say i’m taking a break from fics, but i’ve been so unmotivated recently :( i’m not connecting with my pieces because of how mentally exhausted i am.
i appreciate all the anons about my work <3 i really do. i’m debating closing requests, but i got one the other day that motivated me and i started writing it (it’s an ellie fic of course), so maybe i won’t?
i think i’m going to post more short stuff like this and have it separated from my fics and use this different layout.
anyways, thank you to the same 3 people that read, like, and comment on like all my stuff. ily bunches<3
i haven’t been actually excited about my birthday in probably a decade, but this is the first year that i actually don’t want to think about the day at all.
that sounds morbid, i know. i should be grateful. another year of life i’ve lived. but… the older you get the harder it hits you. and that’s where i’m at right now. whoever said your 20’s are the best years of your life is a liar. sorry to break the news to you.
everything is expensive. too expensive.
and being a young adult right now is impossible.
america is a joke. america is a scam. it’s built on making rich people richer and abusing minorities. no one in power gives a shit about any of us and that’s very clear.
i feel like i’m just going through the motions everyday and not enjoying anything. but i have bills to pay. just like everyone else. there’s no exceptions in the real world. and i may have come to that realization a long time ago, but it doesn’t make it easier when your sanity is dangling by a thread and you have no choice but to keep going.
i miss being a kid. i miss playing outside and not coming home until the street lights turned on. i miss the cartoons and the music. i fucking miss going to school. and having homework. i miss my mom telling me to clean my room or do the dishes. i miss having to sneak out. i miss the parties and smoking weed in the woods with my friends. i miss being free.
because that’s really what this is about.
honestly.
being free.
having the ability to make choices because i WANT to.
not because i HAVE to.
this isn’t about aging physically, or emotionally. it’s about what’s taken been from me each year that passes.
there’s an innocence i still carried going into early adulthood. one i wish i would’ve known to cherish longer. because it started to disappear.
and you wanna know the hardest part? the longer i tried to hold onto it, the faster it slipped away.
because like i said there’s no exceptions in the real world.
so… happy 26th birthday to me.
maybe this year will prove me wrong.
that life’s more than work. and pain. and bullshit.
that maybe… i’m meant for more than this.
i really needed to get this out. no one seems to understand why i dread this day every year. i can’t really explain it either, this is the best i could do. i know it’s all over the place but that’s how i feeeeelllll😭
i’m working on my fics i promise. life’s just… life right now. i’ll get back into the rhythm of everything, i know it. i’m working on it.
summary: regardless of your efforts, you can’t stop thinking about her. jinx feels the same, but there’s emotional resistance on both sides. and silco stands in the middle of it all. but only until sevika lets the truth spill.
warnings: emotional manipulation, violence, stitches and stuff, adults themes, ….. sue me idfk read at your own risk?
*other half of day two and day three*
day two cont.
you don’t have to think before you move; pivot, strike, dodge, reset.
your breathing is steady, sets are clean, every correction applied— your body following a pattern drilled so deep it’s now second nature. every time you move it’s calculated and efficient, there’s no energy wasted. you block, redirect, counter. and your shoulder holds.
no pull or stain, no physical reminder of what it was just a day ago.
the shimmer hums just below the surface of your skin; subtle, nothing overwhelming. just enough to smooth the edges, to dull the memory of pain into something distant and irrelevant.
gustove swings, again— but you duck out of range and drive your elbow into his side before sliding back into stance.
you don’t lag or second guess yourself, you just react. instinct cultivated into something dangerous.
“good,” you don’t look at him. you don’t need to. you feel it anyway— his attention and validation. it settles in your chest warm and earned. “again.”
your concentration centers, the world around you thinning until it’s just movement, breath, and impact—
until something shifts.
it’s small, barely there. a prickle at the base of your neck— your body reacts before your mind can catch up. your shoulders stiffen, spine straightening just a fraction, the fine hairs along your skin stand on end.
your next movement stutters, not enough for it to matter, but enough to notice.
your eyes flicker upward before you can stop them; scanning the rafters and the broken skylight, beams cutting through shadows. sunlight filters through the glass in harsh streaks that reflects off of dust in the air. it blinds you just enough to makes shapes hard to place.
no movement. no sound.
but still— you know someone’s there.
your gaze lingers for a second too long:
blue braids. magenta eyes. pale skin—
“focus.” silco’s voice cuts clean through your thoughts. “your awareness is drifting.”
you drop your gaze, body reseting on instinct, planting your feet like nothing happened. he continues, not harsh, but not pleased either. “identify the source.”
you inhale slowly, forcing the tension out of your shoulders. “it’s nothing.”
but your mind betrays you, more images flash regardless of your words; they’re fleeting, but intrusive.
her hands in her hair, her mouth on your skin, her sounds in your ear.
you shove it down. hard.
nails biting into your palms, crescent shaped indents temporarily marking your skin.
“enough.” silco’s voice echos calmly through the space and everything stops.
gustove straightens immediately, stepping back without question. you follow a second later, chest rising and falling just a little heavier than before.
“that will be all.” silco adds, not even glancing in his direction.
gustove nods once and exits without a word, his steps echoing briefly before the warehouse settles into a heavy silence. you don’t move, you don’t look at silco either, but you can feel him shift closer anyway.
“your shoulder,” he starts, tone unplaceable. “is it bothering you?”
your head shakes before he finishes his sentence, “no.”
his gaze lingers on you, weighing— you can feel it.
“then why,” his voice is softer now. “are you distracted?”
your throat tightens, you don’t answer, you can’t.
because you don’t have one that fits the version of yourself that you’ve been trying to hold together.
silco takes another step closer, not invasive, but enough.
“you hesitate,” he observes thoughtfully. “you are not present in your body or your mind.” there’s a pause. “and that is new.”
your jaw shifts slightly, but you force yourself to meet his eyes. “i said it’s nothing.”
silco waits for a long moment, then—
“jinx.”
your breath hitches before you can stop it, small and involuntary. but he sees it.
he tilts his head slightly, watching you with something piercing beneath his calm facade. “what is going on between you two?”
the question is loaded, but it’s not accusatory; not yet.
your mind blanks, and for a split second? you almost tell him.
it rises fast, raw, and unfiltered—
her hands on your skin, her voice soft only for you, her body on yours…
you swallow it down.
because this is silco.
because this is a man who may be your father; but is also your mentor, your leader, your boss.
because this is more than dangerous.
your fingers curl at your sides, expression unwavering. “nothing.”
your voice is steady this time, more believable. “there’s nothing going on.” you hold his gaze. “there never would be.”
the admission settles into the space, even though it’s a lie.
clang.
a sudden sound from above cuts through brewing tension in the warehouse; both of you look up instantly.
the rafters, the beams, broken glass and dust catching the light— but there’s nothing else, no movement, no one’s there.
silco’s eyes narrow, still scanning and searching.
you don’t breathe, because you know.
you know she was there.
you know she heard every word.
and your stomach twists.
you look away first, forcing your gaze back down, and rotating your shoulders like the thoughts will roll off. you try to ignore everything, bury it, stuff it down far enough there’s no risk of it coming back up.
because whatever has happened, whatever you thought you felt— it doesn’t matter.
it can’t matter.
so down it goes, just like everything else. until there’s nothing left but the echo of something you’re trying very hard not to name.
he’s still watching you, no longer searching, but deciding.
“you did well today,” your head lifts slightly. “go rest. you’ve done enough.”
he’s already turning away, smoothing a hand over the front of his vest. the words should feel like relief, but they don’t; they feel dismissive.
“i’m fine to keep going.”
he glances at you over his shoulder, “i’m aware,” a pause, “but that is not the point.”
he turns back around, fully facing you again, arms crossing loosely over his chest.
“you will need clarity for tomorrow. there is no need to expend energy you should be conserving.” you nod your head slowly as he continues. “you and sevika will start your rounds in the morning. enforcers will start pulling back by this evening.” one of his eyebrows raises. “as long as the lanes stay quiet.”
your jaw sets tightly, but you nod again nonetheless. “understood.”
he studies you again, “i expect precision.” he doesn’t sound angry or disappointed, just certain. “no distractions.”
you don’t react, you can’t. “no distractions.”
silco’s expression softens just a fraction, before his hand lifts and briefly rests on your shoulder again— right over the stitches jinx left behind.
then he steps back, and just like that— you’re dismissed.
“go get some rest.”
you hesitate— it’s becoming a pattern— and your eyes flick upward, to the rafters, to the sunlight, to nothing there.
but the feeling hasn’t left.
it’s still sitting under your skin, burning and writhing.
you turn for the exit without another word, forcing your steps to stay anchored like nothing is wrong, like you didn’t just say something you couldn’t take back. like she didn’t hear you, like you didn’t feel her.
you push the door open and don’t look back, letting it close behind you.
you hope it will be enough to shut everything out.
it isn’t… the memories follow you anyway.
the warehouse is quiet when she returns hours later; not empty, just muted.
jinx doesn’t bother with the front this time either, she slips through the same broken skylight, boots barely making a sound as she drops onto the rafter again.
she just stands there, looking down at the same place, the same floor; maybe if she stares long enough, you’ll reappear.
she exhales through her nose, walking the length of the beam, teetering back and forth playfully. the echo of your voice is still haunting her, “nothing’s going on… there never would be…”
she snorts, eyeing a ladder nestled against the side of the wall. “real convincing…”
her boots click against the flaky metal unit they hit the concrete floor with a soft thud; she doesn’t flinch, just starts walking.
silco’s still here, sitting at the table at the far end of the building, papers spread across the surface, hands clasped loosely behind him back. he doesn’t look up when she approaches— he already knows she’s there.
jinx slows a few feet away, head tilting as she watches him work; he takes his time finishing whatever line he’s reading before finally speaking. “i was wondering when you’d show yourself.”
he sounds calm, unbothered. jinx huffs, rocking back on her heels. “what? no welcome hug?”
silco hums faintly, finally looking up to meet her eyes, his expression remains completely neutral. “i assume you are not here for that.”
her smile sharpens a little, “wow, so you do know me.”
a brief silence settles, both of them studying each the other.
“busy day?” she asks casually, driving closer, circling slightly like a shark in water.
silco watches as she moves, “it was productive.”
jinx fingers trail along the table as she takes a final step, “sure did look like it.”
he raises an eyebrow, letting her marinate in whatever uncomfortable feeling she’s facing. eventually, her fingers still against the table, “it’s kinda funny,” she adds, tapping the table once more before strolling away. “considering y/n had a hole in her chest 24 hours ago.”
more silence, thick and bitter.
silco still doesn’t look away, “yes,” his voice lands firm. “you took care of that.”
jinx’s eyes meet his, a sideway grin pulling at her mouth. “jealous?”
he ignores that entirely, “your work was… sufficient.” he says flatly. “i only reinforced it.”
jinx stills. “you gave her shimmer.”
it’s not a question, she doesn’t need to ask— she knows.
silco doesn’t react; no denial or defensiveness; just a quiet pause, like he’s deciding on how much to say.
“i ensured she remains effective.”
jinx lets out a short, incredulous laugh, pacing a few steps before whipping back around.
“effective?” her pitch increases just slightly. “she was already effective.”
silco watches her carefully, not annoyed, interested.
“she needed to recover quickly.’ he says calmly. “i can not have her benched long term.”
jinx shakes her head, “that is not recovery and you know it.” her voice drops, lower, angrier. “you don’t fix people with shimmer.”
there’s a pause, silco steps forward. “no,” he agrees cooly. “you improve them.”
the words feel wrong, they sit wrong.
jinx narrows her eyes, “she’s not something to improve.”she snaps.
the second it leaves her mouth— too fast, too loud— she feels it.
and silco does too.
now his eyes narrow, “why does that concern you?”
jinx freezes. silence tangles in the space between them, wrapping tightly around her chest. for a second, she doesn’t move or speak; because she doesn’t have an answer that doesn’t give something away.
her jaw clicks, teeth gritting once before she scoffs, turning away sharply like the question is ridiculous.
“it doesn’t.”
she starts pacing again, restless energy quickly snapping back into her limbs. fingers tugging at her braids.
“i’m just saying— it’s sloppy.” she gestures to herself, her words coming out faster now, messier. “you start messing with people like that, they get twitchy and unpredictable—“ a sharp laugh. “and we both know much you hate unpredictable.“
silco doesn’t interrupt, doesn’t rush her. he waits.
“jinx.”
her steps slow.
“why do you care?”
she stops fully. her shoulders rise, then fall. “i don’t.”
a lie that doesn’t even try to sound convincing.
silco allows the silence to stretch again. long enough to press into the cracks she’s desperately trying to seal.
“she understands what is necessary.” he leans forward, catching her gaze. “she understands the price of loyalty.”
her mouth twitches, something sharp cutting through her expression before she can stop it.
“so what’s the plan then?” she tilts her head, voice lighter. “pump her full of shimmer until she stops thinking altogether?”
his gaze doesn’t waver, “she is not you.”
her smile falters— then tightens.
“good,” she fires back. “wouldn’t want that now would we?”
jinx rocks back on her heels, already stepping away like she’s done with the conversation; like she didn’t just accidentally reveal too much.
“anyway,” she hums, stalking back into the shadows. “have fun with your little science project.”
but there’s something laced in her tone now. something tighter. she knows what shimmer does, she knows what it can turn someone into.
and now he’s supplying it to you, and you’re receptive of it.
he’s not forcing it on you or hiding it, he’s giving it and you’re taking it.
her breath stutters— quietly irritated. apparently, the price of your loyalty is rather expensive.
jinx laughs thinly as she pushes the door open, shaking her head, trying to loosen images of you.
silco doesn’t stop her. doesn’t call her back. he just watches her go— calculating his next move.
because now he knows.
and jinx? she knows he knows.
and that makes everything so much worse.
because at this point, she doesn’t know which one of you she’s more afraid of losing.
the last drop is louder than usual, not exactly full but bustling.
voices overlapping, glasses clinking, the low thrum of tension sitting under everything like it hasn’t decided where to go yet. it chooses you the second you walk through the door.
you don’t look around or check corners, you head straight for the bar. chuck raises a brow when he sees you approaching, but he has no chance to say anything as you plop onto a barstool.
“strongest thing you’ve got.”
he blinks, clearly not expecting that, “uh—“
“now.”
he moves faster after that, setting a glass down in front of you and pouring something dark and aromatic. you don’t ask what it is. just knock it back in one go. you flinch as it burns your throat, but you slam the glass down and slide it back.
“another.”
“everything okay…?”
you don’t respond, just nod towards the glass again. he sighs, then pours.
you drink that one just as fast.
by the third, the burn isn’t as harsh.
by the fourth, your shoulders loosen. just a little. just enough to breathe. to not think.
it should be working.
but your mind doesn’t stay quiet for long.
blue braids—
you slam the glass down so hard chuck jumps.
“again.”
“i think you’ve had—“
your eyes snap up and chuck shuts up immediately, then pours.
wise choice.
you don’t even taste this one; it’s just heat and noise. something to drown out the tightness in your chest every time your thoughts drift.
it’s fine. you’re fine. you’re just—
“you’re sloppy.”
the voice is familiar and annoyed.
you don’t turn right away, who know who it is.
sevika doesn’t wait for an invitation, just drops into the stool beside you, already looking you over like she’s doing damage control.
“we have a job tomorrow.”
you exhale slowly through your nose, picking up the bottle this time instead of the glass. “i’m aware.”
“it doesn’t look like it.”
you take an even longer pull and roll your eyes; sevika clenches her jaw.
“what the hell are you doing?” she spits.
you set the bottle down and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, “unwinding.”
she lets out a short laugh, “this isn’t unwinding. this losing control.”
your head turns sharply, eyes narrowing— something inside you snaps.
“i’m not losing anything.” your voice is harsher than you expect, but sevika doesn’t flinch.
she doesn’t back down. “then act like it.”
the silence is deafening. you look away first, fingers tightening around the neck of the bottle— because she’s not wrong.
“you were fine this morning,” she adds, leaning closer. “now you’re here. and you’re a mess.”
you huff a quiet laugh, “a mess? what? i’m not allowed to drink?”
“not when you have responsibilies.”
you shake your head, looking down at the swirling liquid in the bottle. “don’t worry about it.”
sevika scoffs, “you are jeopardizing the job—“
“—i said i’ve got it.”
your knuckles are paling around the neck of the bottle and sevika raises a brow, leaning back in her stool.
“you’re distracted.” your jaw clenches, lifting the bottle to take another swig. “why?”
you swallow slowly instead of answering right away, “it’s nothing.”
she goes quiet, and sevika doesn’t waste silence. she uses it, weaponizes it. she let’s it sit, lets it press.
“right…” she drawls unconvinced.
you exhale softly through your nose, “just…drop it.”
“not when it’s gonna get in my way tomorrow.”
you look at her again, irritation flaring. “it won’t.”
her eyes narrow just slightly; you sound defensive. “you sure about that?”
you don’t respond. because you aren’t sure. and she can see it.
“this isn’t like you…” her voice is softer now, less accusatory, but still direct.
you look away again, tapping your fingers against the bottle.
you hate that she’s right.
“i said i’ll handle it.” your voice is steadier now, more controlled.
sevika watches you for another second, eyes searching your face.; then she nods once, standing from the stool. “fine— but if you’re not on top of your shit tomorrow,” she pauses looking down at you. “you’re not going.”
your head whips up, eyes meeting hers. “that isn’t your call.”
“it is if you’re a liability on a job assigned to me.”
ouch...
“i’m sure you understand.” a small smirk tugs at her corner of her mouth as she turns to walk away.
your lip twitches—
a liability.
it sticks.
because it’s something you’ve always called her… but never something you thought would be thrown back at you.
“pull it together.” sevika says pointedly over her shoulder. then she disappears into low light and scattered patrons without another glance back.
you stare at the spot she left behind for a second too long. then you release a slow breath and shove the bottle back across the counter towards chuck.
“bill my father.” your voice is flat, speech slurring slightly.
he doesn’t argue, just nods quickly and grabs the bottle like he’s afraid you’ll pick it up again. you slide off the stool and make your way toward the stairwell at the back of the bar; your legs a little unstable, but your steps are still controlled.
you take the stairs one at a time, hand brushing the railing before you straighten again, forcing yourself to stay upright.
the noise from the first floor fades behind you as the second floor comes into view. and there— silco’s office.
the door is closed, soft light bleeding faintly from underneath; you slow, gaze flicking towards it without meaning to.
your body just… does it.
like something pulling at you, like there’s a reason you should go in there.
your eyes fix on the door and it’s suddenly a little harder to breathe; it feels familiar in a way you don’t want to think about too closely. you shift, gripping the hand rail a little tighter before taking half a step closer to the door.
but why?
you don’t need the reassurance. or the praise. or the title— daughter.
your fingers twitch at your sides as you straighten your shoulders back and drag in a slow inhale; forcing yourself up the stairs and away from the office.
the third floor comes into view, the hallway, your bedroom door… jinx’s…
you shake your head, ignoring the feeling that washes over you— no one’s been in that room in years.
you stumble to your door, one hand on the wall to keep you steady. you avoid looking to your right, you don’t even let your eyes drift that far; too afraid if you acknowledge the room, something will follow.
your fumble with your handle instead, grip clumsy before the door swings open, the hinges creaking softly. you slip inside quickly, like you’re being chased, and lean back against it as soon as it clicks shut.
a hand drags down your face, “get it together…”
you push off the door, moving further inside and sinking down onto the edge of your bed, elbows braced on your knees, hands threading through your hair.
and just for a second—
you let yourself stop pretending.
everything hits.
all at once.
her voice. her hands. her eyes.
you clench your eyes shut, tugging softly at your hair, “no.”
you made your choice. you’ve already decided.
so whatever this is. whatever this was. it doesn’t matter.
it can’t.
you exhale slowly, trying to force the tension out of your shoulders, but something still feels wrong.
restless. like something is missing.
silence presses in, your gaze lingers on the door, imagining what sits just outside it. you swallow hard, your hand absently drifting up, brushing along the stitches still sewn in your skin.
and for a split second, you feel her hands instead of your own.
your breath catches, your hand rips away like it burned you, “fuck…”
you drop back onto your mattress and roll onto your side, turning away from the door—
tomorrow you will get up, you will do your job, and you will be exactly who you’re supposed to be.
silco’s daughter. silco’s weapon.
but just downstairs, in the office you felt so drawn to—
is jinx.
drawers aren’t just opened, they’re searched. papers aren’t just flipped, they’re skimmed. she scans the desk, slower, eyes flicking to anything she doesn’t immediately recognize.
her fingers drag along the edge of the table, before she drifts over to the cabinet across the room, pulling open the doors with a rough tug. her hands sift through the contents methodically, but still nothing.
“c’mon…” she mutters under her breath.
for a second, she just stands there, eyes flicking over shelves, crates, cabinets, and tables.
listening… feeling…
it’s here.
her gaze drags back over to the desk, her steps quiet as she circles back toward it. she pulls open the bottom drawer again, pushing aside papers she’s already checked.
jinx runs her fingers along the inside edges of the drawer, and she pauses.
there.
a shift in texture, a small ridge that shouldn’t be there.
her lips twitch, “oh, that’s sneaky.”
she presses softly—
click.
the panel gives just slightly, and her eyes light up. she pulls it open carefully, as controlled as she can with the energy buzzing underneath her skin.
and then she sees it.
hidden in a space no one would check unless they already knew it was there. for a moment, she doesn’t move, doesn’t touch it. she just watches, trying to confirm she’s actually seeing it.
her hand lifts slowly, hovering over it; hesitating briefly— uncharacteristic.
then her fingers close around it.
and the moment they do, something shifts behind her eyes. a wicked grin twists across her face. “let’s see how far he’ll go…”
then she’s gone, even quicker than she arrived. 
day three
you wake up wrong, as wrong as humanly possible.
your breath catches in your throat before you can even open your eyes; chest tight, body tense like you were fighting something off.
or holding onto it.
it takes a second… then it hits.
her.
the dream clings to you in fragments—
hands gripping your shirt, dragging you closer. her mouth on your jaw, your neck; her teeth, the warmth, her breath.
your fingers tangled in blue braids, pulling, pushing, keeping her there.
“don’t—“
you don’t even’t know what you’re saying.
don’t stop?
don’t leave?
don’t…?
your eyes snap open; silence, your room, morning light bleeding in through the window. your chest rising sharply like you just surfaced from being underwater.
“fuck…” your voice is rough, hoarse, cracked down the middle.
you drag a hand overdown your face pressing your palms hard against your eyes like you can force the images out.
your head throbs, pulsing behind your eyelids and beating at your temples.
right… the slightly excessive drinking.
it was supposed to help.
you suck in a breath through your teeth as you push yourself upright. your shoulder pulls; not pain, just a reminder. you glance down at for a second and clench your jaw— not today.
your legs swing over the side of the bed, sitting there for a moment longer than you should; because moving means thinking. and thinking means your brain functioning.
but you force it. standing up with a quiet grunt.
a cold shower.
you stand under the water it longer than necessary, letting the water bite into your skin, hoping it’ll wash off everything.
the alcohol, the dream, her.
but it doesn’t— it just numbs your skin.
you don’t even remember turning the water off, or stepping out of tub. you’re just standing in front of the foggy mirror, staring into a reflection you hardly recognize.
you get dressed in silence, grab your sunglasses— hopefully, they hide enough— and you head out without looking back.
the bar is quieter this early, but not silent. never silent. dimmed lights, lingering smell of last night’s liquor and smoke; familiar.
sevika is already waiting for you, leaning against the counter, nursing a drink; already irritated like she’s been standing there for too long. her eyes flick up the second you walk in, trailing up and down before her mouth tightens.
“—seriously?”
you don’t answer, just slide into a stool beside her, rolling your shoulders once, trying to loosen them up.
“i can’t tell if that smell is the unmopped floor or you.”
you scoff, leaning an elbow on the counter, and propping your head up. “definitely me.”
her eyes linger, not just irritated, but analyzing; she looks like she’s trying to decide whether or not you’re going to be a problem.
“i’m good.”
sevika’s brow twitches, “i didn’t ask.”
you huff, straightening a little in your seat.
“well, now you don’t have to.”
she doesn’t even pretend to buy it.
“pull yourself together before we step out of this bar.” she downs the remainder of her drink and slides the empty glass across the counter. “i’m not dragging dead weight through the lanes.”
your jaw ticks, but you nod once. “you won’t have to.”
there’s another brief pause, then sevika reaches past, grabbing a glass, and shoving it in your direction.
water.
“drink it.”
you glance at it, then at her. “i don’t need—“
“it wasn’t a suggestion.”
you stare at her for a second longer before grabbing it and taking a long gulp. you won’t say it out loud, but it does help. not a lot, but enough.
the glass hits the counter with a soft thud, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “happy?”
“no.” flat.
you almost smirk at that.
sevika pushes off the counter, cracking her neck and glancing towards the door. “we’re burning daylight.”
you slide off the stool, adjusting your jacket as you stand. your body settles into place immediately; ready because it has to be.
sevika takes a step, then pauses, glancing back at you again.
“one more thing.”
you peer over the top of your sunglasses.
“whatever’s got you this messed up? leave it here.”
your heart does something weird in your chest, but you ignore it. you don’t let it show.
“i already did.”
she turns full and heads for the door, “good.”
you follow lose behind, because that’s what you do. step in step. no distractions.
even if your heads pounding, even if your thoughts are anything but quiet, even if you shove it down. no matter how hard you try… she is always there.
but right now, you have job to do.
and that’s all that matters.
it has to be.
the lanes are still, quieter than you’ve ever seen the undercity. word travels fast down here, and right now the word is enforcers. so people keep their heads down, voices lower, movements tighter.
you and sevika walk through alleyways like none of that matters, like you belong here— because you do.
the building she leads you into is dark, narrow, and it smells faintly of oil and burnt sugar. a production space you’re unfamiliar with, its half storefront, half operation.
a few heads turn your way when you enter, but they’re quick to look back down.
sevika doesn’t acknowledge anyone until she reaches the back; a man is already waiting— mid-conversation with someone else before he cuts himself off the second he sees her.
“sevika.” he greets respectfully, gesturing for the other person to leave.
“you’re still open.” her tone is dry, simply observational.
he lets out a short, nervous laugh, “well… trying to be.”
her gaze flicks around the space; taking in the workers, the product, the movement.
her eyes narrow, “you were given instructions.”
“and we followed them.” he insists quickly. “reduced output, staggered hours. exactly what was agreed.”
you lean against the wall near the doorway, eyes fixed, arms loosely folded. watching, listening… or at least pretending to.
the words blur together after a minute; it’s all too similar to the other 23 conversations you’ve already heard.
your focus drifts, just a little, then a little more.
because your mind doesn’t stay where it should.
a pattern you’ve noticed recently.
it slips— back to her.
the dream. the way it felt.
you inhale slowly, jaw setting tight, your eyes flicker toward nothing in particular as sevika keeps talking.
“…any deviation from the agreement will face immediate correction.”
you shift, pressing your shoulder further against the wall, the movement pulls slightly and your fingers twitch at your side. and just like that, your mind flips again.
laughter. gunfire. blood.
your breath hitches, barely noticeable; but still there.
you stuff it down.
focus.
it’s nothing.
it doesn’t mean anything.
“you understand?” sevika presses.
the man nods quickly, “yes— completely.”
you blink hard, refocusing just enough to track the conversation again. your gaze drags over the room, checking exits, windows, patrons…
muscle memory.
but something feels off, not wrong, just… persistent.
the same prickle creeps up the back of your neck again and your shoulders stiffen.
you glance to the far corner of the room. then the ceiling. then the doorway behind you.
nothing.
no sudden movement or off putting sounds; and still, the feeling doesn’t subside.
“you listening?” sevika’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts. your head whips towards her.
“yeah.”
her eyes narrow, “then repeat it.”
you hold her gaze, “no changes. keep operations minimal. no unnecessary movement until enforcers pull back entirely.”
your tone is even, perfect. like you didn’t miss a word.
she studies you for another second, then nods once.
sevika turns back to the man, wrapping things up with a few more clipped instructions.
you tune it out again, not on purpose, it just… happens. because that heavy feeling is still there.
on the outside you look controlled, but on the inside?
you’re spiraling.
‘she wouldn’t…’
your eye twitches.
no… she wouldn’t be here. that would be reckless. stupid. exactly like her…
you shove the thoughts away.
because even if she was here, even if she is—
it doesn’t matter.
you don’t look again. you don’t search for her. or give this feeling any space to grow.
because the second you do?
you know exactly what you’ll find.
and you can’t afford it.
not here. not now. not when sevika’s voice cuts back in.
“we’re done here.”
you push off the wall without wasting a second, ready— composed. like nothing just happened. like you aren’t mentally somewhere far away from here. like you aren’t still trying to convince yourself you’re alone.
the walk back is even heavier than the rest of the day. the kind of exhaustion that settles in after too much noise.
your boots hit the pavement in a steady rhythm beside sevikas’s louder one, the faint hum of zaun filling the space between you. the sun is dipping behind the horizon and for a while, neither of you say anything.
you don’t mind it first, it gives you space to think— until that is precisely the problem.
because the second there’s space, your mind fills it.
with her. always her.
you exhale roughly, rolling your tongue over your teeth, and shoving your hands in your pockets.
you’re almost back, almost home— “you’ve been off all day.” sevika says with no warning.
you don’t look at her. “i’m fine.”
“no,” she shoots back. “you’re not.”
you shake your head, “drop it, sevika.”
she pauses for a second, “the truth come out?”
that— gets your attention. a small crease forms between your brows.
“what are you talking about?”
she glances at you, brief but pointed, then she exhales sharply. “the docks?”
your stomach clenches, “what about it?”
she slows slightly, not completely stopping, but it shifts your interest. “you really don’t know?”
your pulse roars in your ears, your palms slippery. “…know what?”
sevika stops fully, eyes searching your face; before she drifts into a shallow alley, her expression unreadable. you trail behind her, fingers fumbling with the sleeves of your jacket, heart in your throat.
“that job didn’t go south because she screwed it up.”
the words don’t make sense. they don’t fit.
your brows pull together further. “i don’t understand.”
she steps closer. “jinx knew… about everything.” your chest caves in on itself. “your routes. your timing. your target.”
you shake your head, her words echoing in your brain. “how?”
she sighs, breaking eye contact, “silco.”
everything… stops.
not the world around you. not the noise.
just you.
your thoughts. your breath. your understanding of the last 72 hours.
“…what?” it’s way softer than you intend; and sevika doesn’t cushion anything.
“he gave me an order, the night of your debrief,” you chew on the inside on your lip as she continues. “i was told to find and inform her.” her voice is unwavering. “he told me to let her interfere.”
your stomach drops violently, “why?”
the word is demanding, because there has to be a reason that makes everything piece together. there has to be something you’re missing—
“to see what you’d do.”
your breath hitches again. sevika watches you closely.
“to see how you’d handle her.”
your lungs restrict impossibly.
“to see where your loyalty falls.”
something chilling creeps up your spine. you shake your head again, but it’s weaker this time. “it— that can’t—“
but everything is already clicking.
every moment. every word. every look.
he knew. he pushed.
he kept bringing her up—
“he—“ your voice cracks, then steadies. “he set it up?”
sevika doesn’t sugarcoat it, “yes.” she doesn’t try and make it easier. “all of it.”
your chest heaves once. twice. a third time.
“he planned it.” you say it again, hoping maybe it’ll sound different a second time.
“yes.” she squints her eyes at you, “what’d you think happened?”
you don’t answer. you literally can’t. your mind is too busy unraveling everything you thought was real. every assumption. every conclusion. every fucking feeling.
you were set up to fail.
your hands curl at your sides.
nothing feels solid anymore.
not your anger. not hers. not the way things went down between you. not even the choices you thought you made.
“he played the both of you.” sevika’s voice isn’t unkind, just brutally honest. “and you fell right into it.”
the realization hits hard, but the worst part isn’t even the outed truth.
the words burn, but the worst part is you don’t know if you’re more angry at him…
or yourself for not seeing it. for believing him. for letting this snowball into something it should’ve never been.
you exhale slowly, “why are you telling me this?”
she watches you intently, “it’s your life,” she shrugs. “you deserve to know.” there’s a short pause, you pinch the bridge of your nose before you realize what you’re doing. “but what you do with it? that’s your problem.”
silence settles between you again; thick and sour.
you don’t move. you don’t speak. you just stand there, trying to grasp onto anything that’ll ground you. but everything you thought you knew is slipping away.
and fast.
“my advice?” sevika momentarily pulls you from drowning internally. “figure your shit out.” she bends slightly, making sure you’re paying attention. “figure out what you actually want.”
you huff quietly through your nose, closing your eyes. “what does that mean?”
she straightens, “you’ve been acting like someone else is making your decisions for you.” you clench your teeth, she doesn’t stop. “silco pulls you one way,” she gestures vaguely. “jinx pulls you another.”
you stop breathing when her name rings in your ears.
“and you’re stuck in the middle, fighting both of them.”
you scoff, but it lacks bite. “that is not true.”
“it is.” she debates cleanly. “you’re letting them decide whatever this is.”
this.
you stomach lurches; you know exactly what she means. you drag a hand over the back of your neck— the denial comes first.
“there is no ‘this’.”
“right…” she’s dismissive, and your irritation spikes.
“i’m serious.” you snap. “there is nothing going on,” the words taste the same as they did earlier— empty and rehearsed. “i have everything under control.”
sevika’s brief sigh and pointed expression tell you she does not believe you. “look,” her voice drops a fraction. “i don’t care what it is…” a pause and a head tilt. “but you obviously do.”
you inhale slowly, exhale slower. shaky and uneven. “and if you don’t figure out what side of it you’re on—“ she motions ahead, just toward the last drop. “he will.”
that hits harder than anything she’s said so far; because you already know it’s true.
because he has been.
every step, every push, every carefully placed word.
your fingers curl into your sleeves again, grip tightening. “…and what? i just— pick?” the concept feels ridiculous. “pick between my father and—“ you swallow, cutting yourself off.
sevika cocks her head, her gaze hardening. “yeah, you pick.” her laugh is bitter when she leans down, lips hovering just above your ear, “him?” a beat. “…or her?”
you glare as she pulls back, trying to ignore the feeling curling in your abdomen. because suddenly... it is that simple. yet it is also this complicated.
“he’s not gonna let you have both.”
the alley feels tighter, the air feels heavier; your pulse is loud in your ears again.
“and neither is she.”
your thoughts spiral faster this time— silco’s hand on your shoulder. his voice in your head. you are my child. jinx hands on your skin. her voice in your ear. you hate that you feel something for me you can’t control.
your eyes squeeze shut for half a second; it’s too much, it’s too much all at once. “i didn’t ask for this.”
sevika’s expression is unchanging, “it doesn’t matter.”
you release a hollow breath, head dipping slightly. “i know…”
she watches you another second, then exhales harpy through her nose. “i’ve got the debrief.”
your head tilts, “what?”
her chin jerks behind you, in the direction of the lanes. “go… figure out whatever the hell you need to.”
your brows knit together, the offer, or order, lingers; but right now? you don’t know where to start.
you glance over your shoulder, toward the main stretch of the lanes, toward the fissure you know how to find.
go find her… figure it out. end it. fix it. something.
you almost do. you almost turn, and follow the pull that’s been siting under your skin for the last few days. but then— silco.
you are my child.
and just like that, you’re frozen, your gaze drops, teeth biting into your bottom lip. because no matter which way you go— you already know how it ends.
either way, you lose someone.
“we should go.” you mutter.
sevika doesn’t react right away, she just watches you like she expected something different. something more. but then she nods once.
“okay.” she says simply, then turns.
you fall into step beside her without another word. back toward the last drop. back toward routine. even if it won’t feel the same anymore.
with every step the tension settles deeper; because you don’t know what you’re going to do. you don’t know how you’re going to handle this. you don’t even know what you want. you only know that whatever choice you make, it’s going to cut deep. and there’s no version of this were you walk away unscathed.
above you, jinx sits perched on a low rooftop; watching you. the shift in your weight, the way your attention seems to pull elsewhere— but you still don’t choose her.
your answer isn’t spoken, or chosen outright, but it’s clear enough.
her fingers curl against concrete; because after everything— even after finding out it was all set up. even after knowing you were both played. you still walked away.
to him.
“figures…” her voice coarse and barely audible. but she saw it— your hesitation. the almost. it means she was close. you were close. and you still didn’t do it.
but what did she think you’d do? choose her?
she replays that half-second pause, the way your gaze flicked toward the lanes, towards her. jinx exhales sharply, dragging a hand down her face, “stupid…”
she wants to be angry at you, something familiar and easy— but it won’t take shape. because it’s tangled up with something else.
something she doesn’t have a name for.
“he’s playing you,” there’s an edge to her voice, no chaos; just something thin and strained. “he’s playing us…”
jinx’s hands slide down from the roof’s ledge, her fingers curling into fists, because now she knows.
this wasn’t random.
this wasn’t bad timing or bad luck or you being you.
this was designed.
every operation, every intercept, every collision between you.
and suddenly, she’s not just angry at you. she’s angry at him.
at the way he set the board. at the way he moved the pieces. at the way he manipulated the game. at the way he knew exactly how this would play out.
her head tilts, eyes unfocused as something clicks into place.
if this is all a test— then it’s not over, not yet.
her shoulders roll back slowly, tension reshaping instead of disappearing. if you aren’t going to come to her— then she’ll come to you.
but not like before. not reckless. or loud. she’s not chasing you. this time? she’s going to decide how this plays out. her hand drifts absently to her pocket, her fingers bushing something solid. something real. her thumb drags over the smooth yet unstable surface, reminding herself that this isn’t just in her head. she actually has something now. something he didn’t plan for.
if silco wants to play games— fine, she’ll play.
“i wonder…” her lips curl, not quite into a smile. “what will you do now?”
the question sits in the air for second, her grip loosening, “… powerful little crystal…”
and then she’s gone. slipping off the roof, vanishing into the shadows like she was never there at all.
the debrief is clinical. calm. detailed.
everything you are not at this very moment.
you stand off to the side of the table, hands clasped loosely behind your back, posture straight, expression neutral— like nothing inside you is unraveling in real time.
sevika does most of the talking; walking silco through the rounds, the various renegotiations, compliances.
names. numbers. territories.
you hear everything, process it, even chime in when prompted; confirmations, corrections when needed. your voice doesn’t waver or crack. but it’s all surface level.
because just underneath? everything is way too loud.
sevika’s admission is still echoing—
he gave me an order… he told me to let her interfere.
you keep your gaze forward. unreadable, impenetrable.
“and the enforcer presence?” silco’s tone is even as ever.
“pulling back like expected. it hasn’t slowed much on the east side, but it’s nothing we can’t manage.”
his eyes shift to you, you feel it immediately. “your assessment?”
you jaw ticks for half a second before it smooths over, “they’re becoming disorganized. most groups are disbanding, but as sevika mentioned they’re still heavy in the east lanes. i believe they’re still searching for the crystal.” a pause. “and whoever is responsible for the docks.”
he processes your analysis. “do you think they will find what they are looking for?”
you hold his gaze. “no.”
“good.” he says simply.
the conversation continues for another few minutes— routine changes, efficacy training, partnerships— before silco finally leans back in his chair.
“thank you sevika. that will be all.”
she nods once, pushing off the desk, and turning towards the office door. she doesn’t look at you while she passes; she doesn’t need to, because you feel it anyway.
the subtle shift when the door clicks behind her and room feels smaller.
it’s just you and him.
silence settles in, heavy and uncomfortable. you don’t move, neither does he. for a second, you assume he’ll dismiss you too, send you on your way. but—
“come sit.” it’s not a command, but it’s not a request either.
your spine straightens, shoulders tense as you lower into the chair across from him. his gaze drags over the bandages on your shoulder.
“your injury,” he stands slowly. “the stitches need to be removed before your body rejects them.” he rounds the the desk, stopping just beside you.
“i’m sure they’re fine.” you answer short, clipped.
he doesn’t respond, just motions to your jacket. “remove it.”
you sigh, but obey. of course you do.
your fingers, make quick work of the zipper, shrugging the fabric off your shoulders with more force than necessary before letting it fall behind you. the air in the room cools the warmth that been sitting on your skin all day.
you keep your gaze forward; you don’t look at him or think about the healing wound. his fingers find the edge of the bandaging and the fabric peels back slowly, each layer dragging against your skin. it doesn’t hurt, but your body reacts anyway.
it’s subtle and involuntary, but tension threads through your shoulders and down your spine. your hands rest flat on your thighs, fingertips pressing in hard enough to leave marks.
“hold still.” his voice is quiet as the last of the bandages come away.
his thumb presses along the edge of the scar, testing the pulled skin— healing faster than it should.
your breath catches in your throat, because all you can think about is the fact she did this.
“your recovery is progressing spectacularly.” you nod once.
his fingers move again, picking up a small pair of scissors and tweezers that lay on a tray across the table. he moves carefully, removing the stitches slowly, one by one.
you feel every pull, every thread sliding free from your skin; your nails dig into the skin underneath your pants, desperately trying to keep yourself calm.
because you want to snap.
you want to turn your head, look at him, and scream—
why?
why did you do it?
why did you send her?
why did you set me up?
the words are right there. on the tip of your tongue. your chest rises a little too fast— the questions threaten to fill the silence.
but you press your lips together, into a thin line— because you can’t break. not like this.
you need to talk to her first. you need to know what she knew. what she was told.
what she thinks any of this means.
another thread pulls free, another, then the last. when he steps back, discarding the contents of the tray absently, his gaze lingers on the wound before lifting to you.
“zero complications,” you nod again, slower this time. his words feel backhanded— not in relation to your shoulder, but to everything else.
you can feel the weight of his stare, like he’s looking for something… waiting for something. but you don’t give it to him. not when your head it already too full and your restraint is stretched too thin.
“something is going on with you.” it lands firm. it’s fact, not accusation,
a pause lingers, you can feel the questions building again; that urge. the need to push. your lips part, and you almost break. but then:
blue braids. magenta eyes. you don’t hate me.
your throat begins closing, so you look away first. “nothing that will affect my work.”
there’s more silence, and then—
“see that it doesn’t.”
and that’s the end of it.
your hands ball into fists once more before you force yourself up and grab your jacket, shrugging it back on without another word other than— “yes sir.”
your voice is steady, obedient, perfect. just the way he expects.
you turn for the door and march straight out, because now you know exactly what you need to do.
and it isn’t here in this building.
this whole time you thought this was her fault, that you got shot because of her; what you didn’t expect? it was all silco.
your blood had been on her hands, when it should’ve been on his.
you don’t know what you’re going to say, but you’re going to find her.
and this time? you’re not walking away.
next part masterlist main masterlist
i’m not even gonna try and fit day four in this post bc there’s smut and i know it won’t all fit so it’s getting its own post.
i’ll post this for now and i promise part 3 is coming!!
i ate an edible and everything productive i had planned for today went right out the window.
summary: the morning after is never fun— especially not when jinx wakes up to an empty bed and you’re dragging yourself through the lanes. you left— a choice you can’t take back. and, of course, the consequences of your actions will linger.
warnings: there’s no smut in this part, but there’s still adult themes, blood, trauma, hearing voices, shimmer usage, idek why i do warnings… i suck at them.
*this is day one and half of day two*
day one
jinx wakes up before the sun does. she’s not sure why. there’s no nightmare or screaming. no voices in her ear. she doesn’t hear any alarms or smell any smoke. something just feels… wrong.
her arm reaches out for you automatically— she’s met with a cold, empty space. not your warm skin.
she blinks at the ceiling for a long second, listening for any noise, any sign of you. she doesn’t sit up right away when she’s met with silence; just stares at the rafters, dangling wires, and half-finished gadgets.
jinx rolls on her side, squinting towards the entryway— the air drifting inside feels colder than it should, the morning breeze whispering through rusted beams and cracked stone.
she still hasn’t heard footsteps. or muttering. no sarcastic comments about how nothing in here is organized. she waits for a few more seconds, then another.
“…toots?” she calls lazily, voice still thick with sleep.
there’s no answer.
she drums her fingers anxiously against the mattress before she finally pushes herself upright. the blanket slips down, hair falling in her face while her eyes scan the room.
the chair is still pulled up near her work bench. the metal surface is smeared with dried blood— your blood. used gauze is still there, stiff and dark where it had soaked through.
she stands slowly, yawning and stretching her arms over her head like this is nothing. like she didn’t spend half the night counting your pulse under her thumb.
her bare feet pad across the metal floor as she drifts towards the work bench. she nudges the chair with her hip as she approaches, staring down at the mess you technically made.
evidence of the stitches she’d done lays scattered; needle and thread, antiseptic opened and half-used.
another beat of silence passes. too heavy. too quiet.
her eyes land on your jacket, still balled up and destroyed, hanging over the table’s edge.
her eyes narrow.
where are you?
jinx’s gaze moves back towards the bed, looking to the floor beside it— only items of her clothing remain.
oh—
she doesn’t panic. not yet.
she turns slowly, your boots are gone too, and your satchel is nowhere to be seen.
jinx just stands there, in the middle of her hideout, unmoving. the realization creeping in piece by piece, twisted yet true.
you didn’t just step out.
you left.
her tongue presses to the inside of her cheek, fists balling at her sides. then she huffs out a short laugh.
“wow.” she runs a hand through her hair and pushes the loose braids over her shoulders as she paces on a propeller. “wow. wow, wow…”
another laugh escapes her, louder this time. reckless.
“you didn’t even wake me?” she kicks the chair as she passes, the wheels scraping the metal with a sharp screech. the sound echoes up the fissure, roaring through the hideout.
when no one answers, jinx stops pacing, her gaze drifting back to her workbench.
to the dried blood. your blood.
her finger hovers over the mess before pressing flat against the surface. it’s sticky and cold.
“you were literally dying like…” she gestures vaguely over the table. “right here.” her fingertip drags slowly through the bloodstain, leaving a clean streak across the steel. “and you still bailed.”
another laugh, a little quieter now.
she leans both hands on the table, shoulders rising and falling as she stares down at the smear.
for a moment, she doesn’t move; then her eyes flick towards the direction of the lanes. toward the place she already knows you went.
because where else would you go?
to the last drop.
to silco.
jinx straightens slowly, her expression contorting into something wicked.
“ohhh,” she murmurs, nodding to herself. “i get it.”
she wipes her now bloody palms on the side of her her sleep shorts.
“ran back to daddy.” her words are tight, but careless; like they mean nothing to her.
but the muscles in her jaw tighten anyway.
she looks at the empty entryway once more, half expecting you to walk back in. you don’t.
so jinx, claps her hands together, sharp and sudden— the sound echoes through the hideout like a gunshot.
“okay!” too loud. too bright. it echoes back at her from the metal walls, from the hollow fissure. jinx can’t stop the manic laugh that bubbles up.
“dramatic exit for somebody who couldn’t even walk last night.”
she’s pacing again now, fingers drumming against her thighs— she doesn’t stop moving.
because if she does?
she’ll think.
and thinking is where the real problems start.
another laugh cracks out of her, way too sharp and fast. it sounds fake.
she kicks a loose bolt across the floor and it skitters off the edge of the propeller with a dull ting. silence swallows the sound, her chest heaving just slightly.
“how ungrateful…” she mumbles.
the voice slips in quietly not loud. not shouting. just there.
‘you knew she’d leave’
jinx’s jaw clenches. her eyes flick side to side like she’s looking for the source. she’s not surprised to see nothing there. just shadows and scrap metal.
‘of course she did’ the voice hums. ‘everyone does’.
her hands curl into fists, “shut up.”
‘she chose him’.
jinx scoffs, briefly rubbing at her temples, “i don’t care.”
‘you do’. it sneers.
“i don’t!” she fires back.
the words ricochet and come right back at her, loud and defensive. she stops pacing when she lands in front of her workbench again; her chest rises sharply before she forces another laugh through her teeth.
“she ran home. shocking. she’s always been desperate for silco’s approval.”
‘she didn’t even wake you’.
she swallows.
“yeah? why would she?” she snaps, grabbing a wrench off the table and twirling it between her fingers. “it’s not like we’re—“
she cuts herself off, the wrench clinking back onto the table a little too hard.
‘you held her all night’.
jinx exhales sharply through her nose, “she almost died. kind of a crisis situation.”
‘she cried’.
her steps falter, just for a second, then she laughs again.
“so? people cry sometimes. it’s a thing.”
‘she was vulnerable’.
her fingers twitch, the memory pushes in, even though she tries to stuff it down:
your face buried in her neck, your hands gripping her shirt like letting go might kill you, your breathing only slowing once sleep overtook you.
she bites the inside of her cheek so hard she almost draws blood, “guess she got over it.”
‘or maybe she never meant it’.
her shoulders stiffen, the words sit in the air for a second too long.
because maybe you didn’t. maybe you woke up and realized you had a major lapse in judgement. maybe everything brewing between you for years was actually one-sided this whole time.
her fist slams down on the workbench with a metallic clang, “it’s not my fault she couldn’t handle it!”
‘she stayed all night’.
her mouth snaps shut.
‘she slept with you’.
her breathing gets uneven again.
‘you love her’.
“stop.” jinx mutters quickly, shaking her head like she can physically throw the thought away.
“this is pathetic,” she rubs both hands down her face. “she wants silco so bad?” she scoffs, throwing her arms out in an exaggerated gesture. “fine. fan-fucking-tastic.” her shoulders lift into an agressive shrug. “he can have her.”
‘you don’t mean that’.
“i do.”
‘liar’.
she grabs the wrench off the table again, for a second she considers throwing it; instead she slams it down and hard enough to dent the surface.
“i don’t need her.” her lip upturns. “never did.”
‘then why are you still talking about her?’
the words hit square in the chest and she goes still— the hideout going quiet with her.
for a long moment she just stands there, staring at the blood smeared across the workbench. the proof that you were here, that she saved you, and that you left anyway.
when her throat tightens, she swallows it down, and rolls her shoulders back.
“whatever.” it’s brittle and dismissive, like she’s suddenly bored of the whole situation.
she drops down beside a pile of scrap metal, grabbing parts without really looking. she gathers tools scattered around, metal scraps, nuts and bolts.
she focuses on assembling something— way too fast, way too chaotic. jinx twists screws and snaps wires into place.
“i don’t need her.” she repeats.
a spark jumps when she jams a wire around; she grins, edged and unsteady.
“didn’t before,” a bolt snaps under too much pressure, she doesn’t even react.
“definitely don’t now.”
but regardless of what she tries to convince herself, her eyes flick back to the entryway every few minutes.
it’s quick, like she’s pretending she isn’t.
deep down, she hopes to see you standing there; and every time the entrance stays empty, her hands move a little faster.
the lanes are quieter than usual. not peaceful, never peaceful— just tense.
it’s overwhelming the moment you climb out of jinx’s hideout. the air is thick with smoke and damp stone, the distant drip of runoff echoes through the alleyways.
your ribs ache with every breath, the stitches jinx forced through your skin pulling tight beneath the bandages around your shoulder. the dried blood on your clothes has stiffened the fabric, cool dawn air biting through it.
every step you take sends a dull throb up your side, into your shoulder, and down your arm. but you ignore it. because you’ve ignored worse.
the walk back to the last drop feels longer than it ever has before; your boots scrape along uneven stone as the building finally comes into view at the end of the street.
you freeze— because the heart of the undercity is crawling with enforcers.
blue coats move in clusters outside the bar, lanterns are swinging in the early morning dark. unfamiliar voices carry faintly through the fog, heavy boots thudding against the pavement as they comb the surrounding streets.
your stomach drops, “shit—“
your first instinct is to turn around— leave. to disappear back into the undercity before they notice you. for a moment, you actually consider it.
your eyes drift down the street behind you, back toward the maze of alleys, back toward the fissures, back towards jinx.
the images flash through your head without warning— her arms around you, the sound of her voice in your ear while you cried, the warmth of her chest beneath your cheek.
you swallow hard, your chest tightening in a way that has nothing to do with the wound on your shoulder.
you almost start walking back, then you hear silco in your thoughts—
‘prove to me you are irreplaceable’.
you clench your teeth, the warm feeling in your chest cools instantly and is replaced with something heavier.
you drag in a slow breath through your nose and force yourself back towards the last drop.
the front entrance is impossible; too many enforcer’s crowd the street, their lanterns casting long shadows across the cobblestone, questioning anyone unlucky enough to pass by.
they’re looking for someone.
maybe for you.
maybe for jinx.
probably for both.
either way, walking through the front door would be suicide. so you stay as close to the buildings as possible, circling around the block.
you slip between stacked crates and the rusted piping that runs along the outer walls of the bar. every few steps you pause, and listen—waiting to hear the scrape of boots behind you or someone shouting.
but nothing comes.
your shoulder throbs harder the longer you move, stitches pulling under the bandages, hot and uncomfortable. it feels like a brand, reminding you exactly who put them there.
your hand brushes the fabric absently, jinx crooked stitching job sits just beneath the gauze.
you shove the thought away.
by the time you reach the back of the building, you’re breathing has gone ragged. you lean against the brick wall for a moment, your head tipped back.
just above you, is your window— still covered by that stupid tarp. the glass still not replaced after jinx shattered it the other day.
the memory weasels in before you can stop it— she stole your work, tried to blow you up, almost shot you, and gave you a bloody nose.
you squeeze your eyes shut for a second and force them open again, “focus…” you mutter under your breath.
the drainpipe beside the wall creaks when you grab it, your arms immediately protesting as you start climbing. your shoulder screams, the stitches straining enough to make your vision blur.
but you grit your teeth and keep going.
hand over hand, boots slotting into cracks in the brick. your world tilts slightly as you haul yourself up to the windowsill, your vision tunneling briefly.
for a moment, you just crouch there, breathing rough, blinking hard.
the tarp laps softly in the breeze, the faint murmuring of enforcers below, the distant sound of movement on the street. but it’s quiet in your room.
so slowly, carefully… you push the tarp aside.
the fabric rustles quietly as you slip through the broken window frame, your boots hit the wooden floor with a soft thud.
you look around, the room is dim and still; exactly how you left it. there’s still broken glass and plaster on the floor, the wall scorched and peeling; but now the silence feels restless, like the building is holding its breath.
you stand there for a moment, just listening; but your heartbeat is thudding in your ears louder than anything else. the boards beneath your boots creak softly as you shift your weight, every small noise makes your shoulders tense.
then you hear it.
voices— not outside, but inside. clipped, official, annoyed.
enforcers.
“great…” you breathe.
you inch slowly toward the bedroom door, carefully stepping around broken glass. when you crack the door open, just enough to peer through the gap, the dim light from the hallway spills inside.
two enforcers stand at the end of the hall by the stairs leading to the bar and to silco’s office.
you wonder if they’re stationed on each floor.
one leans against the wall with his helmet tucked under his arm. the other is pacing slowly across the floorboards, the rhythm echoing through the empty hallway. they’re searching lazily— not nearly carefully enough to find you yet, but enough to make moving through the open space impossible.
you ease the door shut again, and your mind starts racing. silco‘s office is downstairs, just a flight— but the stairs creak, the floor creaks, everything in this damn building creaks.
you glance down at your satchel, an unstable vibration still humming from inside it— the hextech crystal.
your jaw ticks as you look around the room again, your eyes scanning quickly over the familiar mess of your space.
desk. bed. scorched wall. glass and plaster.
you’re gaze drifts upward… to the vent…
your nose wrinkles slightly, “you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”
you stare at it for a second, one of the metal screws is missing, another loose; someone has clearly pryed it open before.
you let out a quiet huff.
you’ve been through this building hundreds of times, long enough to know where the vents run, and where the duct curves towards the center of the building. towards silco’s office and right into the rafters above it.
you drag the chair beneath the vent as quietly as you can, the legs scraping faintly across the floorboards. you freeze immediately listening for movement down the hall.
nothing.
slowly, silently, you climb onto the chair. your shoulder burns the moment you lift your arms,
“shit—“ you bite your tongue, cutting the word off before it gets too loud.
your fingers pry the vent cover loose, moving the metal grate aside, and setting it on the floor gently. a rush of stale air spills out of a duct; dust, old rust, things you probably don’t wanna think about.
you stare into the narrow space for a moment, reconsidering every choice you’ve made up until this point.
“this is entirely something jinx would do.” you whisper to yourself.
then you grab the edge and hoist yourself up.
pain lances through your shoulder immediately, you hiss softly, dragging your body up until your hips clear the opening. your boots scrape softly against the metal as you pull them in after you.
the vent groans quietly under your weight— you go still.
the voices down the hall continue, completely unaware of your presence.
the metal is cool beneath your palms, dust clinging to you and coating your skin as you drag yourself forward. every movement sends a blinding agony through your shoulder, but you keep going.
steadily, cautiously, you navigate through the cramped space.
after a few slow turns, the quiet sounds of the metal beneath you changes pitch slightly.
it’s hollow.
you’re above silco’s office.
the faint glow of warm light filters through the slats of a vent below you. there’s no voices echoing in the ducts, just quiet.
you squint, peering down through the narrow gaps. silco is alone.
he’s standing near his desk, back partially turned, a glass of amber liquid rests between his fingers while he studies something spread across the table’s surface. lamp light casts dark shadows in the corners of the room, painting the walls in warm gold and black.
for a moment you just watch, confirming— no guards. no one else hiding in a corner. just him.
you reach forward slowly, curling your fingers around the metal. it sticks. you push harder.
clink.
the sound echos louder than you expected… silco’s head snaps up immediately and he turns sharply towards the ceiling.
you shove the grate open the rest of the way, metal swinging loosely and squeaking softly. you lower yourself down before your shoulder can protest, dropping onto the rafters just below.
silco actually looks startled.
not dramatically— but you notice the grip around the edge of his glass tightens and his shoulders jerk as your face appears out of the darkness.
for a split second, confusion reads across his face; he studies you with parted lips and furrowed brow, trying to figure out the hell he’s looking at.
“… what…” he says slowly.
his eyes drag over you— the dust in your hair, dried blood soaked through your clothes, missing jacket, and torn tank top.
“… exactly,” he continues, voice low. “are you doing in my ceiling?”
you huff a weak breath that might’ve been a laugh in better circumstances. “long story.”
your body is shaking, the adrenaline that got you here is fading fast; and now that you’re unmoving, your shoulder is throbbing so hard is feels like your pulse is trapped under the stitches.
you grip the edge of one the rafters, “give me a second…”
silco’s eyes narrow as you begin the slow, miserable descent. as you bend down into a squat, your balance wobbles almost immediately.
“careful—“ silco starts.
too late.
your foot slips on the dusty wood and you land on your stomach, your full weight landing on the beam. the movement yanks at your stitches and the pressure burns, a sharp sound is dragged from your throat.
you catch yourself before falling completely, gripping the rafter with white knuckles.
“i’m fine—“ you grumble through clenched teeth.
silco doesn’t look convinced in the slightest.
you manage to sit up, swinging your legs over one side, awkwardly hunched over as you catch your breath. the drop to the floor suddenly looks a lot farther than it should.
“this was a much better idea when i wasn’t half-dead.”
silco moves directly below you before you make the jump.
“don’t be foolish,” he says evenly, placing his glass on the desk mindlessly. “lower yourself.”
you hesitate, your shoulder begging you to just hope for the best and jump; but you obey.
you whimper helplessly as your arms support your weight, sliding down carefully until your boots touch the edge of his desk. the moment your weight settles, your knees buckle. silco catches your waist before you can fall, easing you to the ground slowly.
his grip is tight even when you’re planted to the floor and his expression shifts. whatever remark he as about to make dies in his throat as he finally gets a proper look at you.
caked in dried blood. badanges wrapped haphazardly. all the color drained from your face.
“…sit.” it’s not a suggestion.
before you can protest, he’s already steering you toward the chair behind his desk.
his chair.
you stop instinctively the moment you realize where he’s guiding you. you haven’t sat there in years. not since the night he brought jinx home.
it’s in a different office now. a part of a new home. but it still represents the same legacy.
and the second you freeze, silco notices.
his gaze flicks to you, then the chair.
“sit.” he repeats firmly.
too tired to argue, you sink down. the leather squeaks under your weight and silco moves promptly. his hands are surprisingly careful when he pulls his chair closer to the lamp light.
“let me see.”
you start to say something sarcastic, but the words never form as he starts unwrapping bandages. the gauze peels away slowly, stiff with dried blood. when the final layer comes loose, he goes very still.
the stitches are… well… they’re not good.
they’re crooked, uneven, clearly the work of someone completely distraught.
but they held.
his brows furrow as he studies them, “who did this?”
you lean back in the chair, suddenly very interested in the ceiling, “jinx.”
silco exhales quietly through his nose; not quite a sigh, not quite surprise. his fingers press near the wound, testing the tension of the stitches. the pressure makes you squirm involuntarily, your jaw clenched tight.
“hold still.”
“i’m trying.”
“you’re grimacing.”
“because you’re poking at the hole in my chest.”
silco ignores that. peeling away the rest of the bandages before leaning back slightly, studying you appropriately now.
the exhaustion. the blood. the fact you nearly fell through the ceiling instead of walking in the door. he studies the stitching for another moment before he steps away, moving towards the cabinet beside his desk. the faint clink of glass and metal fills the office as he pulls fresh gauze and antiseptic from inside.
you sink into his chair a little deeper as he works. it feels wrong sitting here. familiar but peculiar. he returns a second later, setting the supplies down beside you.
when silco presses clean gauze against your skin, you hiss through your teeth louder than you meant to.
“hold still.”
“i am—“
“then stop flinching.”
you roll your eyes, but do as your told. squeezing your eyes shut and clenching your jaw tight.
for a few minutes, the only sound in the room is the soft rustle of medical tape and distant voices somewhere else in the building.
then silco finally speaks.
“pier 7.”
you lift your head and glance at him, his expression is unreadable, but there’s focus in his eye.
“i assume…” he continues calmly. “your condition is related.”
you exhale slowly, “you’d assume correctly.”
he says nothing, still watching you… waiting.
so you spill.
“she ambushed my mission. squandered it. i—“ you take slow breath through your nose when you realize you’re already yelling. “i had it.”
silco remains silent, he just keeps working, cleaning and wrapping your shoulder carefully.
“i secured the shipment. the timing was perfect. guards were light. the entire operation was under control.” your fingers curl against the wooden armrest. “then she showed up.”
his hands pause for half a second, you huff a bitter laugh. “i don’t even know what she was trying to do. half the time it looked like she was helping, the other half she was blowing the pier right off the map.”
you stare up at the ceiling again, “it took 15 seconds for enforcers to show up. next thing i know there’s gunfire, smoke everywhere, and i’m bleeding out in the sewers while your daughter is cackling about explosions and fireworks.”
silco’s jaw tightens slightly at that.
“i tried to make it back here… but i only made it halfway through the lanes before i passed out.”
he finishes tying off your fresh bandages and leans back, “yet you did not wake here.”
“no…” you glance at your shoulder. “i woke up hours later… with stitches.” a beat passes. “and jinx…” you shrug your good shoulder faintly. “she must’ve dragged me back to her hideout.”
silco studies you, long and quiet.
“and when you woke?”
your heart stops— lie. you have to lie.
“i— uh…” you stutter, silco tilts his head. “i tried to come back here… but i— i had lost a lot of blood. and… by the time i could move again…”
you can practically hear him thinking, and sure enough—
“you and jinx…” he starts slowly.
you swallow; his voice stays calm.
“is there…” he says his next words thoughtfully. “something occurring between the two of you?”
you stare at him like he asked you the most ridiculous question imaginable— whilst trying to ignore the flashing images of your… intimacy… with jinx over the last 48 hours.
“seriously?”
his eyebrow lifts slightly, “i don’t believe it’s an unreasonable inquiry.”
“it is when i just crawled through your ventilation system bleeding.”
“your answer is relevant regardless.”
you drag a hand down your face , “…no.”
he doesn’t react, which somehow feels worse.
you sigh, “i mean… it’s not like that.”
his brow lifts another fraction, “that clarification is insufficient.”
you let out a tired breath, “she infiltrated my mission. shit went sideways. i almost bled out. and she… stitched me up.” you tap your fingers against the armrest. “that’s it.”
silence stretches between you, silco still studying you— you’re seeing he doesn’t believe you.
“jinx… is not known for her charity.”
you huff, “yeah well… near death experiences make people weird.”
he ignores your feeble attempt at humor, instead he steps closer and rests a hand on the desk beside you.
silco leans down, nearly eye level. “i asked you a very simple question, y/n.” he says sternly. “is there something going on between you and jinx?” you swallow and look a the floor. “if i find out that you lie to me? there will be consequences.”
your gaze lifts and you sit up straight. “no.” you say firmly. “there isn’t.”
silco watches you for so long you start to wonder if he’s going to press further. but he doesn’t.
instead he exhales through his nose and straightens, “very well.” he turns away from you and moves back toward the cabinet. “i will choose to believe you for now.”
for now.
glass clinks softly as he sorts through the shelves. you frown, “that doesn’t sound ominous at all…”
he ignores you, back still turned, “i’d like to know about the crystal?”
your head tilts, “what about it?”
silco glances over his shoulder to you momentarily, “were you able to retrieve it successfully?”
“yes.”
you’re surprised he even asked, you’ve never failed a job. not entirely.
your hand drops to the worn leather still flush against your side. your fingers fumble with clasp before you manage to flip the flap open. a faint blue glow leaks from the fabric and silco goes still as he approaches from behind you.
you reach in and pull out a bundle of cloth wrapped around the unstable core.
the lamplight reflects off it immediately, yet the whole room seems to dim around you. soft blue energy flickers through the core, refracting across the desk like there’s lightning trapped beneath the glass.
you set it down carefully on the desk in front of you— you can almost still feel it vibrating against your skin.
his gaze fixes on it, sharp and unmoving. slowly he steps closer, reaching out to pluck it between his fingers, and lift it from the wooden surface. you can see the energy pulsing in his hand, he studies it in silence for several seconds; before he nods once.
“you did well.” you blink suspiciously.
“okay…”
he rewraps the crystal and sets it down with a careful precision, his attention lingers on it for another second before he turns back towards the cabinet.
for a moment, you think the conversation is over. until the glass clinks again and you glance up just in time to see silco removing a small vial from the top shelf. the liquid inside glows purple in the lamplight.
your stomach drops the instant you realize what it is.
shimmer.
“…no…”
silco walks back towards you, “yes.”
you push yourself up in the chair, immediately wincing as your shoulder stings.
“silco… i’m not drinking that.”
he steps closer anyway, “you’ve lost a dangerous amount of blood.”
“i’m fine.”
he sets the vial down on the desk, just within your reach. the soft glow reflects faintly off his eye. “this will stabilize you.”
you stare at it like a loaded gun.
“this stuff is not stabilization,” you mumble. “it’s a gamble.”
silco folds his hands behind his back, “it’s a necessary one.”
you shake your head immediately.
“no. absolutely not.”
“y/n—“
“i said no.” it comes out harsher than you meant it. silco goes quiet. not angry or offended. but completely still. and when he speaks again, you almost don’t hear him.
“i cannot lose you.”
the words catch you by surprise; you blink at him. silco rarely says things like that out loud.
he gestures toward your shoulder, “you are valuable to this operation.”
you snort, “nice save.”
his gaze sharpens, “and,” he adds after a brief pause. “you are important to me.”
the room goes quiet again and your eyes drift back to the vial, to the purple liquid swirling faintly inside the glass.
you’ve seen what shimmer does.
you’ve seen the aftermath.
you swallow.
“it is just enough to heal,” he says calmly. “nothing more.”
you take a deep breath, loud and shaky.
“you promise?”
his expression is unchanging.
“i would not offer it if it were unnecessary.”
you stare at the vial for another second, then reach for it. “if i grow a second arm or start glowing? i’m blaming you.”
he doesn’t respond as you pull the cork free— the smell hits you first— strong and chemical. you grimace and take another look at silco.
he gives you a subtle nod, so you tilt your head back… and drink.
the liquid burns all the way down. not like alcohol. worse. hot and violent. it hits your stomach and instantly spreads through your veins like fire.
you choke and grip the edge of the desk as the sensation explodes through your body.
“oh— fuck—“
your shoulder spasms as the shimmer floods your system. pain first, but quickly replaced by something else.
the tight pull of your stitches shifts. your skin knitting. muscles tightening. your breathing turns uneven as heat spreads through your chest.
silco stands perfectly still beside you. watching.
the worst of it passes after a few seconds and you slump back into the chair, panting hard.
“…okay,” you rasp. “that was…”
you flex your fingers slowly, the sharp ache in your arm feels… different. still sore, but no longer tearing with every movement. you glance down at the bandage.
“…weird.”
silco studies you carefully, “do you feel stable?”
you roll your shoulder experimentally— it doesn’t send a bolt of pain through your ribcage anymore.
“…unfortunately, yes.”
the heat lingers underneath your skin; a strange buzz that makes your limbs feel lighter and heavier at the same time. the pain has dulled to a tight ache.
“that is… deeply unsettling.”
silco just recorks the vial and returns it to the cabinet. the doors close with a soft click.
“your body is responding as expected.”
“wonderful.” you mumble.
his steps echo through the room as he moves back over to his desk, resuming whatever work you had interrupted by practically falling through the ceiling.
for a few minutes, neither of you speak. you just sit back in his chair, watching the lamplight flicker across wood grain, shimmer thrumming through your body. your eyelids start to feel heavy.
you blink slowly, once. twice. then a yawn slips out before you can stop it. you try and cover it with your hand, but silco looks up anyway.
“tired?”
“no…” you say quickly. but another yawn betrays you. “maybe…”
he watches you for a moment, his gaze flickering to the bandages around your shoulder, then to the couch along the far end of the office wall.
“go lie down.”
you blink at him. “excuse me?”
“the shimmer will strain your system while it stabilizes your injuries.” his voice is calm, he doesn’t look up from his desk. “you should rest.”
you shake your head immediately. “i’m not falling asleep in your office.”
“you are not leaving my office until i am sure the shimmer has not produced adverse effects.” he says flatly. “and i will not have you falling asleep sitting up.”
you drag yourself upright, swaying as soon as you stand. “i’m fine.”
you’re on your feet for all of 3 seconds before your knees nearly buckle. silco catches your arm before you can prove yourself wrong.
“as i said, lie. down.” that is an order.
and you’re still you at the end of the day.
so, you sigh heavily and allow silco to guide you across his office. he moves you slowly, with a soft patience you’re unused to.
“this is so humiliating.” you huff as you drop down onto the cushions. the moment your body sinks into the fabric, you realize how exhausted you actually are. your head falls back and your eyes flutter closed. silco watches you and exhales.
“you… are my daughter,” your eyes blink back open. his expression doesn’t change, but his gaze is steady on you. “you do not need to impress me by suffering through exhaustion.”
a strange feeling settles deep in your chest— silco isn’t a man to waste praise.
you stare at him for a moment, watching as he retreats to his desk, trying to figure out if you misheard him. but his attention has already shifted back to his work.
you roll onto your side and curl into the cushions while your eyes close, “i’m only resting my eyes for 5 minutes.”
he hums, the quiet sound followed by muted footsteps crossing the office. it’s not long before he returns and something heavy and warm settles over you.
you crack an eye open and look down— a blanket.
“… you keep blankets in your office now?”
“occasionally, my work runs late into the evening.”
you’re too tired to reply; your eyes slipping closed again. the fabric rustles faintly as silco adjusts it to rest over you properly.
after a few seconds, his footsteps move back behind his desk, and silence fills the room. the only sounds are silco’s pen scratching across paper and the low hum of zaun drifting through the walls.
your breathing slows, your grip on the blanket loosens, and sleep takes you faster than you expect.
across the room, silco’s pen pauses. his gaze drifts toward the couch. he watches you for awhile, studying the rise and fall of your chest.
only when he’s satisfied does he return to his work.
though every so often, his eyes find you again.
the next thing you’re aware of is voices— low and muffled. your brain feels thick, like your head is submerged underwater. for a second, you don’t know where you are, confusion hitting you hard.
your body feels weird.
heavy.
hot.
not exactly painful, but so tight your muscles feel like they’re lagging.
you hear the voices again. louder this time, on the edge of comprehension.
“—not ideal—“
silco’s voice is the first thing you recognize, calm and controlled as always.
another voice you recognize answers him. sevika.
the edges of the blurred room begin to clear and you settle back into place. you still can’t seem to follow the conversation, the sentences sliding right past you.
“…enforcers…”
“…lanes…”
“…the pier…”
you try to open your eyes, but they feel glued shut. you try to sit up, but it feels like the shimmer turned your bones to lead.
sevika says something else, it’s sharper, silco’s response is hushed. your head shifts against the the cushion, stifling a low groan in your throat. the sound must give you away because the conversation stops.
the silence that follows is louder than any words exchanged. you mange to squint an eye open; the lamp light burns for a second before your vision adjusts. the office pulls itself into focus; silco’s desk, boxes lining the walls, and sevika.
she’s hovering near silco, coat slung over one shoulder, metal arm glinting in the low light as her weight shifts. her gaze lands on you the second your eye opens.
you blink slowly, still fighting the fog sitting behind your eyes. sevika studies you for a long second— nothing hostile, but not friendly either.
her gaze lingers on the blanket pooled around you, the fresh bandages across your chest, your bloodstained clothes, and the fact you’re sprawled across silco’s couch. when her eyes flick back up to your face, something unreadable passes across her expression, something you can’t quite place through the haze.
she snorts, that you can place, “look who finally decided to wake up.”
you try to sit up again, the room spins, and you can only manage to prop yourself on one elbow.
you groan louder, sevika watching you with mild amusement.
“shimmer hangover.” she says flatly.
your eyes narrow in her general direction. “it feels like someone replaced all my bones with bricks.”
“good,” silco’s voice cuts in. “it means it’s working.” he’s still seated, attention on the papers in front of him like the last few minutes never happened.
your head turns towards him, “how long was i out?”
“a few hours.”
your eyebrows knit, “seriously?”
his head inclines slightly, “the dose needed time to stabilize.”
you scrub a hand down your face and finally sit up the rest of the way. “i said 5 minutes.”
silco doesn’t even look up from the work on his desk, “you grossly underestimated the time you would need.”
you let out a tired huff.
“well…” sevika straightens her shoulders and heads for the office door, “since sleeping beauty is back with us,”
you shoot her a weak glare through lidded eyes and she pauses before heading out, catching your gaze. you still can’t read her expression, but she looks like she’s recalculating.
she takes one last look at silco, nodding once, “i’ll be downstairs.”
the door shuts with a soft creak and silence settles in the room. you’re still trying to wake up, scrubbing your eyes with the heel of your hands.
“what was that about?” you mutter.
silco finishes scanning the sheet in front of him before he sets it aside and his eyes land on you.
“pier 7.”
you sigh immediately.
he folds his hands together in front of him, “the…situation at the docks has created complications.”
you lean back against the cushions, rubbing at your temples. “i can imagine.”
“piltover recovered what they could of the shipment and have been actively investigating since late last night.”
your eyes briefly drift to the door, recalling the heavy enforcer presence you encountered this morning.
“they’re still out there?”
his voice remains even, “they have finished searching the last drop, but they remain heavily in the lanes.”
you exhale slowly— that’s something, at least.
“great.”
he unfolds his hands and stands up, planting his palms flat on the table and leaning forward. “we must move very carefully in the following days. there is few i trust with the fallout.”
“and where do i fit in to that?”
“you’ll be working with sevika.”
you blink a few times and furrow your brows, “doing what?”
silco straightens, “there are merchants in the lanes that value our… services.” you snort quietly as he continues. “piltover’s increased presence has made some of them… skittish.”
“so, you want us to go down there and remind them who’s in charge?”
“precisely.”
you tap your fingers against the couch cushion, “am i collecting?”
he shakes his head and sits back down in his chair, “no, just reassuring.”
you roll your eyes, “right.”
silco gestures vaguely to the door sevika left out of, “she will handle any necessary negotiations and you will accompany her.”
you tilt your head, “…to stand there and look threatening?”
he gives you a small shrug, “that has proven effective in the past.”
you can’t help the corners of your mouth from lifting, “fair point.”
you push the blanket off your lap and stand, your legs still feel a little unsteady, but the shimmer in your veins is now relatively stabilizing. you glance down at yourself— clothes torn and drenched in blood.
“before i do intimidation rounds, i should probably not look like i crawled through the sewer system.”
silco’s eyes flicker down to take in your appearance, “a wise decision.”
you start toward the door, “you want me to meet sevika downstairs?”
“no.”
you pause, “no?”
silco picks up another sheet, scanning it briefly before answering, “go upstairs. clean yourself up. change your bandages. and meet us at the warehouse in 2 hours.”
“…the warehouse?”
“that’s correct.”
your brows furrow, “why?”
silco finally looks up at you.
“for training.”
you’re visibly shocked, “…training?”
“yes.”
you cross your arms over your chest, “i’ve been doing this job for years.”
he nods slow, his voice calm, “and yet, half of the dock lays at the bottom of the river.”
you point at him, “that is not my fault.”
“logistics of the failures are no longer my concern.” his face remains neutral. unchanged. “you know how i feel about results.”
you breathe slow through your nose, “yes.”
he returns his attention to the papers in front of him, “2 hours.”
you drop your arms with a quiet huff, “understood.”
you turn and pull the office door open, the hallway is brighter now, afternoon sun spilling through the windows. the low sound of voices and music from the bar drifts through the floorboards and up the stairwell.
no heavy bootsteps as enforcers stomp through the building; just the familiar creak of wood beneath your feet and the people of the undercity below it.
but from the windows, you can still see them— blue coats, lanterns glowing through the haze of the lanes, piltover’s presence lingering like bad taste in the mouths of bottom-siders.
your jaw tightens.
jinx really did a number on things….
you tear your gaze away from the windows and head toward the stairwell; noises blur into a low murmur and faint thumping the higher you climb. your door sits at the far end of the hall, the same place it’s always been.
when you push the door open, the room looks the same as a few hours ago— glass and plaster, dust and blood, the vent cover still lying on the floor.
it looks like bad decisions were made in here.
you take a second to look around, to take it in.
you don’t even flick the light on, just exhale, and move straight to the bathroom.
the shower handle squeaks when you twist it, the pipes groan briefly before the water sputters to life. your reflection stares back at you in the mirror while the water warms— blood smeared across your chest, dirt ground into the fabric of your clothes, river water still tacky on your skin.
your tank top is just a worn piece of fabric now, your pants still damp and stained. you suck in a sharp breath when you strip everything off; bandages sticking to the fabric, your shoulder still tight.
you drop everything into a heap on the floor and step under the water, steam pooling into the small space. there’s little to no time wasted from when you step in, to the start of soap scrubbing at the grime caking your skin. the water turns pink almost immediately, almost any sign of yesterday swirling down the drain.
your fingers reach up, peeling up the edges of your bandages before slowly inching it off. you hiss when the gauze falls away and the water runs down the healing wounds. the skin is still raw, red, and a little swollen; your gaze drifts down to the stitches, crooked. uneven. pulled tight in some areas yet too loose in the others.
you brace a hand against the wall in front of you—and your mind betrays you.
her hands, covered in your blood. her voice, uneven and desperate. how she was quiet, focused, and as attentive as she knew how to be.
“stop.” you squeeze your eyes shut, the words on your tongue like they’ll repress the thoughts and halt the images. but they keep coming.
the way she hovered, the way you woke up to her sleeping next to you. the way she didn’t leave you, even when she could’ve. the way she—
you clench your jaw, “it was her fault.”
your hand drags up to your shoulder, fingers hovering over the stitches. “she caused this.”
it doesn’t matter if she dragged you back to her hideout and sewed you up, it doesn’t matter that she saved your life; she blew the mission. she brought enforcers down on you.
her recklessness almost killed you.
“she doesn’t get credit for fixing what she broke.”
the words sound right. they feel right. and you hold onto that. tightly.
because the alternative?
nope.
you press harder into the tile wall, trying to ground yourself here.
silco. the lanes. everything you’ve built. everything you are. it’s real. it’s consistent. and it doesn’t change overnight because of a coupe of ‘fragile’ moments you shared.
but she looks at you different. whatever has been brewing between you feels different.
jinx—
your breath catches.
“stop.” you push off the wall. “enough.”
firm. final.
your hands scrub roughly at your scalp, nails scraping against skin like you can claw the thoughts out. your forehead pressed into her shoulder, hands gripping at her like you were afraid she’d disappear, your voice broken and small. you crying… crying into her.
your stomach twists, “nope—“ it comes out sharper, almost panicked.
“it meant nothing.” your voice is low and controlled, trying to force it into something solid while everything feels like it’s melting.
because… it did mean something.
you can still feel it.
the moment you slipped.
you force a slow breath though your nose, then another, and another. more and more until the feeling dulls. until you can bury it under something familiar.
cold. controlled. useful.
irreplaceable.
you turn the water off and silence crashes into the room. you don’t linger, immediately stepping out and dragging a towel roughly across your skin. you try and wipe the memories away.
it doesn’t work.
you pat your shoulder dry carefully, eyes dropping back to the stitches.
“messy…” your expression hardens and your hand moves without hesitation, reaching for fresh gauze.
you wrap it tighter, neater— your work, not hers.
by the time you’re done, there’s little trace left of her in it. just another wound. another job. another memory.
you tug on a clean outfit and shrug on a new jacket, fingers now steady as you pull on your gloves. piece by piece— you put yourself back together. not soft. not shaken. not whatever you were 12 hours ago.
a weapon. reliable. consistent.
you.
your eyes flick back to the mirror for half a second, you look like yourself. mostly.
you grab your gun and the knife you keep on your nightstand.
the door creaks open as you step into he hallway without another thought. the sounds of the bar grow louder as you descend the stairs— voices, laughter, music bleeding through the walls.
you didn’t realize how much you needed the familiarity.
by the time you hit the bottom step, your expression is already set in stone. flat, unbothered, like it never cracked.
you stride over to the bar, sliding up onto a barstool; you need food, a drink maybe? something to settle your stomach and keep you moving. because standing still… thinking… is not an option right now.
you lean your forearms against the worn wood. it’s sticky in places, familiar in way that no longer bothers you. behind the counter, thieram— chuck—glances up. his eyes flick over you once; quick and accessing.
“you look like hell…” he mutters, nodding in your general direction.
“i feel worse.” you shoot back.
that earns you the tiniest twitch at the corners of his mouth while he turns to grab a glass. “what do you want?”
you don’t even think about it. you can’t think.
“something strong. something that doesn’t taste like shit. and food.”
he snorts, “that really narrows it down.”
“how about you surprise me then, smartass?”
chuck shakes his head and chuckles, but gets to work anyway. he grabs bottle and pours a few things into the glass. he slides the amber liquid over to you before turning to shout something toward the kitchen.
you don’t ask what you’re about to drink or what the kitchen is making you; just pick up the glass and take a long sip. it burns, but not it a bad way—smooth enough that you don’t regret it.
“i’ll take it.”
chuck glances back at you, “i heard about the docks.”
you’re not surprised, word travels fast in the lanes. and half of the bridge of progress came down with them.
you shrug a shoulder, “i’m sure everyone has.”
“enforcers have been combing around since dawn.”
“i saw.”
there’s a brief silence while you finish the entirety of your drink and push the glass back towards chuck, urging him to make you another.
“that your blood?” he gestures towards the stains on the satchel strapped around your chest.
you glance down, then back up. “unfortunately.”
he hums, reaching for the ingredients to fill your glass again, the clinking of glass filling the space between you as he pours. you lean heavier into the counter, letting the noise of the bar blur into background noise.
“you run into her down there?”
you freeze, just for a second. then you tap your fingers twice against the wood. “who?”
chuck tilts his head down and pushes your refilled glass towards you. “you know who.”
you sigh, looking down at the liquid swirling around your glass, “you act like if you say her name she’ll appear.”
he gives you a look; one that says, ‘she might’.
“okay… fine. yeah, i did.”
you take a sip, hoping he won’t keep going.
“and how’d that go?”
you let out a short, sarcastic laugh, “how do you think it went? the whole thing went to shit because of her— clearly! half of the harbor was blown to hell in the middle of the night.”
you take a longer drink this time, grimacing slightly as the liquid hits your empty stomach; a soft warm feeling settles in your chest.
“it wouldn’t be the first time she’s stirred things up.”
you shake your head, “no… but it’s the first time i got hurt and i couldn’t save myself.”
there’s another pause, a heavier one this time; and when chuck speaks again, it’s careful.
“she patch you up?”
your eyes flick up to him, “yes…”
he raises a brow, small smirk pulling at his lips. “you know…”
“don’t read into it.”
“i have a feeling this is more than step-sibling rivalry.”
you make a repulsed face, “do not… call her my step-sibling, ever again.”
“you’re only proving my point.” “why does everyone think there’s something going on between me and jinx?” you groan, throughly frustrated.
“because nothing about your dynamic says ‘casual friends’.”
you drag a hand through your damp hair, “we aren’t friends.”
he laughs quietly, placing a basket of bar food down in front of you. “the more you talk, the more you push the narrative you’re trying to erase.”
you scoff and shoot him a look, picking up something greasy and breaded.
“what the fuck does that even mean?”
“it means… you and jinx have been at each other’s throats for years. we’ve all seen it. the two of you despise one another—“
you cut him off, “—my reasons are valid.”
“‘but—“ he urges. “there’s been a shift recently. a noticeable one.”
you swallow down another chug, he’s looking at you like he’s already figured out something you haven’t.
“you’re reaching.”
“maybe…” he doesn’t sound convinced. “but, i’ve been around long enough to know the difference between someone you hate… and someone you don’t know how to feel about.”
you set your glass on the counter with a firm thud, “i have nothing to figure out.”
chuck watches you for a moment, exhales through his nose, and pushes off the counter to leave you be.
“alright.”
that’s it. no pushback. just— alright.
you hate that even more.
because it doesn’t feel like he dropped it. it feels like he’s just waiting.
you look back down at your food, forcing yourself to keep eating. forcing your hands to keep moving. forcing your head to stay here.
not back at the docks, or with jinx.
you clench your jaw, “she’s a problem. that’s all.”
chuck doesn’t respond, and the silence he leaves between you says enough.
you finish your drink and look at the clock on the wall, you have 20 minutes to get to the warehouse; better get going.
you knock once against the counter before you push yourself off the stool. the wood creaks under the sudden shift.
“you heading out?” chuck asks as he wipes down the bar.
“duty calls.”
he stifles a laugh, “be careful with the enforcers out there. i’m sure they know who they’re looking for.”
you just smile, wink, and turn; brushing past shoulders and overlapping conversations to get the the back door of the last drop.
when you push into the lanes, the air hits you differently, it’s thicker and sour. the faint glow of lanterns illuminates the edges of walkways. blue coats still linger in the streets; not many, but still enough.
you adjust the strap of your satchel and straighten your jacket, lowering into the shadows and starting down the alleyways. the closer you get, the quieter everything becomes; there’s less people, less noise, just the hum of zaun itself.
your boots echo faintly on the ground, your pace doesn’t falter, even when your mind tries to wander. back to the pier, back to her.
you shove it away— because right now you have something else to deal with.
you roll you shoulder, testing it as the warehouse comes into view at the end of the alley. it’s still sore, still tight, a dull ache continuously thumping under the skin.
the building looms ahead, dark and eerie.
“fuck…” you mutter to yourself. “this is gonna suck.”
the inside smells like rusted metal, smoke, and something toxic. the bottom of your shoes scrape against concrete as you step inside; the sound echos unusually loud through the space. shadows cling to the high ceilings and walls as you move. lantern light catches on the sides off the crates stacked haphazardly against walls.
silco is already here, seated on a low crate near the far wall, papers spread to across a table in front of him. the light casts a shadow on his face, sharpening the lines that paint a picture of untouchability.
sevika stands to his right, her arms are crossed and she looks seemingly uninterested.
“you’re right on time,” he says casually without looking up. “so that means you’re late.”
“after the night i had, it’s a miracle i’m here at all.”
there’s a pause.
“then, thank you for joining us.”
your chest contracts, the words hit you in way that’s dangerously comforting. you clear your throat, trying to push away how much they affect you.
“should i… stretch first?”
silco’s eyes soften, his stare feels personal. “no.” he steps closer to you, hand tucking into his suit pocket. “first, i need to tend to you.”
he produces a small vial from the pocket— shimmer, purple light pulsing in the dim space.
“again?” you wince at the memory.
“yes,” he’s watching your face, memorizing every flicker of doubt. “this dose will complete the process. you won’t fight your best if your body betrays you and we cannot have that as an option. not today.”
the sincerity in his tone, the way he reaches out softly; your instincts scream at you to proceed with caution, but the larger part of you wants to obey.
always.
so you take the vial, warmth seeping into your palm.
“i trust you.” the words feel weird in your mouth.
“good.”
as soon as the liquid slides down your throat, the effect is immediate. the remaining ache in your muscles ease, the thumping in your chest slows, a faint glow coursing beneath your skin.
you exhale slowly as silco pulls the empty vial from your grasp and tucks it back into his pocket. when your eyes lock onto his, you feel something shift.
you’re not just healed— you’re enhanced.
silco simply takes a step back, allowing you to feel the shimmer flood your system. after a minute, when your arms are twitching restlessly at your sides, he gestures to sevika.
“begin.”
she doesn’t hesitate, lunging towards you with a precision you know too well; her stance is low, fists already raised. you mirror her, testing your shoulder carefully. you just barely dodge her first punch, cracking your neck carefully after she takes a step back.
“you’re tense,” silco says suddenly, stepping just outside the sparring circle. “relax. you are capable, you are strong. and i am proud of you.”
heat flares in your chest; he’s proud?
it feels like a balm and a weight all at once. your stance relaxes, and you land a punch she didn’t expect before sending a knee to her ribs.
she grunts and takes a step back, refocusing.
“better, much better.” you hear him murmur.
sevika tries to strike you again, but you sidestep; the shimmer coursing through you making everything smoother than you expected.
but this feeling is more than physical, it’s a desperate need to prove yourself. to earn his praise. to hold his approval like a lifeline.
he watches quietly, an occasional correction or soft nod. eventually his voice drops lower, just for you: “you are my child, my blood. you understand what that means, don’t you?”
your mind flickers to jinx— the thought sparks irritation and guilt, but mostly a nagging tension.
silco is here, with you, telling you how much he values you. not her.
this is everything you have ever hoped for.
so why does it feel… compromised?
“focus.” silco’s voice slices through your distraction. “your loyalty, your skill, your worth; they belong where they are needed. not distracted by attachments that only aim to weaken you.”
you hit, you dodge, you pivot— all mechanically perfect. yet each movement is underscored by his voice in your head, reminding you of the bond only you two share; something jinx can never understand.
sevika is relentless, but you move with a controlled fury you have never felt before. not for the fight, or training, or even the shimmer—but for him.
each nod, every praise, it solidifies something inside you.
you cannot fail, not now, not ever.
but somewhere in the back of your mind, buried under sweat and adrenaline, lives jinx.
that thought doesn’t linger. not when silco’s approval, his attention, his acknowledgment… feels like survival.
sevika comes at you harder, no warning, just a quick shift before she closes the distance between her fist and your face. she clips your jaw, snapping your head to the side; you stagger back a step, your vision briefly flashing white.
then you’re moving again. faster. cleaner.
your body adjusts before your mind catches up; ducking her next hit and driving your shoulder into her middle. it forces her back half a step a loud grunt falling from her lips.
“good.” silco says quiet, but clear.
your breath comes out sharp, straightening slightly as your chest heaves lightly; and sevika takes advantage of that.
her elbow slams into your ribcage, pain blooms, but the shimmer dulls it and turns it into something useful. you adapt quicker, because now you’re listening for him.
“do not anticipate her, it makes you vulnerable,” he circles your spar slowly. “react to her. let your instinct guide you, but refine it.”
you nod faintly, even though he never asked for confirmation. and when sevilka lunges again, you catch her wrist, twist, and move behind her— a fleeting image of you holding jinx this same way flashes through your mind.
you shove sevika forward and she stumbles, boots scraping against the concrete before she regains her footing.
“exactly.”
you don’t even realize you’re smiling, just slightly, until sevika swings again and it nearly catches you off guard. you barely dodge, breath hitching.
“stay focused,” he reminds you, not harsh, but disappointed enough to sting.
your smile vanishes faster than it appeared, “sorry.” you mumble, more reflex than intention.
sevika scoffs, “don’t apologize,” she snaps, stepping forward again. “fight.”
so you push yourself even harder this time.
you block, retaliate, strike… your body moves like it knows what to do. like it’s chasing something just out of reach.
not victory. not dominance. approval.
silco watches the shift— the way your attention flickers toward him between sets, the way your shoulders square a little more when he speaks. and he feeds into it.
“show me you want it.”
your punches come faster, stronger, less hesitation, more pressure. just intentional movement and the need to be seen. the need to be recognized.
sevika blocks most of it, but not all.
finally, you send a kick to her knee that forces a hiss and a moment of weakness. your fist connects cleanly with the side of her face and she falls to one knee with a sharp gasp. she grunts, hand bracing on the slick concrete, then she laughs.
“yeah, there she is.”
bu you don’t really hear her, because silco’s hand falls on your shoulder, squeezing softly.
“well done.”
you straighten, chest rising, shoulders pulling back; for a moment, just a moment, you feel chosen.
sevika stands cracking her knuckles and rolling her head, “…you done? or you wanna keep going?”
you don’t answer, instead, you look to silco. he holds your gaze for a second, and gives a small nod.
“again.” you turn back towards sevika; no doubt, only certainty. because right now, you know what you’re fighting for.
even though, somewhere deep down, buried under the last 12 hours, there’s a flicker of something else.
a contagious laugh, blue braids, hands on your body—
you stuff it down before it can take shape, before it can matter.
because right now?
silco is watching.
and that matters more.
day two
the lanes are crawling, jinx can see that much.
too many blue coats, too many fancy lanterns cutting through smog, too many topsiders acting like they belong in the undercity.
they don’t, never do.
jinx moves anyway, quick, quiet, erratic.
her boots barely make a sound as she slips between buildings and climbs from narrow alleyways before dropping back down into the thickest shadows.
a ghost in her own city.
voices from below catch her attention, “…said half the dock is gone. they haven’t given an estimate on bridge repair…”
she stills above them, perched on a rusted fire escape, peering down through the gaps in the metal.
two enforcers; tired, irritated, and talking way too loud.
“—kid blew the whole fucking shipment up to the sky and it took half the harbor with it.”
jinx head tilts, ‘kid’.
her lips twitch.
“orders are to sweep everything in silco’s territory. if that crystal is here? we’ll find it.”
she leans forward, listening closer, eyes sharper. one of the guards looks around slowly, scanning his surroundings before saying:
“what are the chances she’s still around?”
jinx scoffs quietly— obviously she… equals her.
“doesn’t matter. its non-negotiable. we find her, and we bring her in.”
there’s a pause, and she has to strain her ears to hear their whispers.
“i heard… she had an accomplice.”
jinx’s fingers curl around the railing.
“you think it’s true?”
“i think someone working the docks saw them. i guess they got out before it all went to hell.”
her breath stills. “did they get a description?”
“no, but there’s a theory…”
one of the guards laughs, “a theory?”
“yeah, that it was silco’s kid.”
something in her chest ticks, right beneath her ribs.
one of the enforcers snorts, “didn’t realize silco was running a daycare.”
“yeah, well. it would explain a couple of things, wouldn’t it?”
their laughter curls up, hovering around her. one of them trails off and shakes his head.
“i don’t know… from what i’ve heard the whole situation doesn’t sit right with me.”
jinx narrows her eyes.
the other enforcer laughs through his nose, “what do you mean?”
“i mean… silco’s got his real daughter working for him… and then there’s the other one.”
“jinx.”
“exactly.” a beat. “tell me that’s not weird…”
jinx goes very still, she’s trying to decide whether or not she wants to blow her cover and make scene.
“other people’s family dynamics truly are fascinating.” the enforcers start laughing again.
“you think they hate each other?”
“wouldn’t you? if that was your situation?” one of them asks incredulously. “think about it… you’ve got the daughter— trained, stable, actually does her job.”
jinx bites down on the inside of her cheek.
“and then you’ve got the kid he shows up with— unstable and unpredictable. i couldn’t imagine being forced to live that.”
the second one shrugs, “who knows? maybe it’s the opposite.”
jinx leans forward, suddenly even more interested. “opposite how?”
“like… trauma bonding or some shit.” he scoffs. “maybe they’re close, i doubt being raised by silco created a stable living environment.”
“dude… we’re in the undercity. nobody down here has ‘a stable living environment’.”
“yeah… but, who knows? stranger things have happened.”
“either way… it’s weird. the whole thing’s unhinged.”
her teeth are digging in hard enough to draw blood. they’re talking like your lives are just stories to be told; like you aren’t real people.
like it’s a spectacle.
something she is used to being— but a word that hardly applies to you.
silence settles in the alleyway as their conversation tapers, but jinx is still stuck on it.
‘silco’s real kid… unstable… maybe they’re close… wierd… unhinged…’
the words cycle through her head on repeat.
because they’re not wrong.
she pushes off the fire escape in one fluid motion, boots catching the metal with a clang before she’s climbing, vaulting, trying to outrun the thoughts before they catch up.
they don’t get to decide who she is, or who you are, or what you are to each other. you’ve always been rivals, ‘enemies with unresolved tension’; so why has it become so hard for her to actually hate you?
maybe it’s because she never really did…
she stops. frozen.
“no—“ jinx shakes her head, hands fidgeting at her sides. “she left. she chose him. she doesn’t need me, and i don’t need her.”
she finally steps in front of the last drop, chest heaving, mind reeling. the building glows ahead of her, just like it always does, normal in a way that feels irritating. she shimmies down drainage pipes and loose roofing before dropping down in an alley right in front of the building.
she drags a hand through the hair in front of her face, tugging at her brains before letting her hands drop back down. her fingers don’t stop moving though, tapping against her thigh or twitching restlessly.
obviously, she doesn’t go through the front.
she veers off, slipping into dark shadows that cling to the brick. her fingers grip rusted metal pipes and chipped stone without a second thought, she hauls up window ledges and old bolts— she moves automatically.
then a tarp flaps in the wind, catching her attention.
your bedroom.
she exhales through her nose and is already moving towards it. her fingers hook into into the edge of the frame and she pulls herself up just enough to peer behind the tarp.
she watches. waits. and after a few minutes of no movement and nothing but silence from inside, she shifts her weight and hauls herself through the window.
her eyes scan the room— clothes on the floor, sheets messy and slept in, the wall to her right is still scorched and crumbling.
it’s still, but lived in.
the bathroom door is cracked just enough to reveal the sink; jinx freezes, she doesn’t breathe.
for a second, silence pushes into the room and it feels like all the air has been vacuumed out. bandages. crumpled and tossed aside. dried blood. the shoulder she’d stitched up. every thought is immediately replaced by the blaring truth. one she’s already recognized— you left.
her nails bite into her palms; rage bubbling, but it doesn’t have the shape she expects. because even after everything… she can’t hate you.
she wants to. she should. every fiber of her being is screaming that you betrayed her, but something in her chest won’t let her go there.
her anger turns frantic. desperate.
“where are you?” her voice is low and tired.
jinx—refusing to look back at your bed— turns towards the door, pulls it open, and slips into the hallway. she spots her bedroom door, her head tilts— an idea.
she pauses when she slides inside and the door closes, her hand hovers loosely on the handle. the room is empty other than the mattress on the floor and some old knick knacks on her old desk; everything is covered in a thin sheet of dust, but it still smells like her.
she takes one more slow look around, shaking away old memories, and drops into a ‘secret shortcut’ in the ceiling—it leads directly to silco’s office. she shoves aside loose panels and curls through the narrow space between walls.
jinx props the hatch open and the rafters stretch across the office; she drops down quietly. her boots barely make a sound when they hit the wooden beam below; she’s instantly silent. listening closely, waiting— but there’s nothing.
she drops down to the floor with a thud. the office is empty; papers are stacked neatly on the desk, chair straightened and pushed in, a glass of warm bourbon sits completely forgotten.
her eyes narrow slightly, “mhm, not here…”
she steps forward anyway, her fingers trailing lightly along the edge of the desk like she’s checking for something— warmth, a disturbance, proof of life.
silco isn’t here.
you’re not here.
her gaze flicks towards the door, to the adjoining rooms; she does a quick sweep, peering inside the doors just enough to check, barely making a sound.
conference room: empty.
hallway: empty.
stairwell: quiet.
each absence presses harder. this is exactly where you’re supposed to be. so why aren’t you here?
jinx exhales sharply through her nose and heads down the stairs. to the first floor. to the bar. the room comes into view as she hits the last step— dimly lit, patrons scattered, the air smells like stale liquor and cigar smoke.
it’s quieter than usual. she doesn’t doubt business is slow due to the increased presence of topsiders.
her eyes scan the space automatically; no you and no him.
her pace slows as she approaches the counter, sliding into a stool silently— the bar itself is empty. chuck stands with his back turned, drying the inside of a glass; small smirk twitches at the corner of her mouth.
“chuck.”
he jumps, like actually jumps. jinx watches it happen, tilting her head slightly as something sharp flashes behind her irises. he swallows hard, forcing his shoulders down quickly like it’ll make him look normal.
“i— i didn’t hear you come in.”
“mhm,” she leans forward, elbow on the counter, chin resting in her palm. “that’s kinda the point.”
she watches him for a second, long enough for him to feel like something’s wrong. long enough for his eyes to flicker anywhere but her. jinx taps the counter once. twice. he flinches on the second one. and her smile sharpens.
“you’re acting weird, chuck.”
“i’m— not—!” his voice cracks, clearing his throat quickly. “just… busy.”
he doesn’t answer, of course he doesn’t, just continues drying cups and lining them on the bar back. jinx exhales a quiet laugh, leaning back slightly, and letting her fingers pull at her braids.
“relax… i’m not gonna blow anything up.” she says, almost too casually. “…right now…”
that does not help, if anything it makes it worse.
chuck releases a shaky breath, setting the rag down on the counter, “what do you want?”
her eyebrow lifts, “information.”
her stiffens, “i don’t have—“
“oh chuck…” she interrupts. “don’t do that thing where you pretend you don’t know stuff. you’re bad at it.”
she reaches out, plucking a bottle from behind the counter, twists the cap off with one hand, and takes a sip. she grimaces, “ugh, fuck— that’s awful.”
she sets it down in front of herself anyway.
“y/n.” she says casually. “where is she?”
he stills for a second and her eyes light up.
“ohh, ya see that? that was a reaction!” she slams the bottle down against the counter after taking another swig.
chuck flinches.
“c’mon, chuck.” she sings songs. “we’ve been over this. you hate lying to me.” she slides the bottle towards him slightly before pulling it back sharply. his eyes track it like it may explode in her hands. “makes you all sweaty…” she adds. her nails tapping the side of the bottle.
tick. tick. tick.
he sighs, wiping the visible sweat from his forehead with his sleeve, “they’re at the warehouse.”
jinx goes still— the warehouse… they?
the words hang momentarily.
“who’s they?”
chuck clears his throat, “uh— gustove... silco...”
“—y/n?” jinx questions, her nails resume tapping. “at the warehouse?”
“y—yeah.” he nods quickly. “last night and this morning.”
there’s a pause, jinx taking it in, leaning back slowly, dragging the bottle with her, and taking one last long sip without breaking eye contact.
then— she laughs.
short, loud, and very jinx.
her eyes are electrified again. alive.
“did she say anything about me?” she asks suddenly, leaning forward fast enough, close enough, that he freezes instantly.
“i— i don’t know…”
her hand shoots out, landing firm and flat on the counter right in front of him. “think, chuck.”
he just stares at her for a second, the words on. the tip of his tongue. then he exhales slow and adverts his gaze.
“she said the mission went to hell because of you…” his throat bobs. she knows that isn’t everything.
“ooouuu, you’re almost there, chuck.” she kneels on the stool, sitting taller and leaning closer. “what else?”
chuck looks like he might throw up, or pass out, maybe both. “she— uh—“ jinx tilts her head in anticipation. “she said… you’re a problem.”
jinx blinks slowly, slow smile creeping onto her face, followed by a quick snort. “well, the princess is right.” she drawls. “being a problem is my thing.”
chuck doesn’t laugh, or move.
smart.
she hops down from the stool in one smooth motion once she’s finally bored. “the warehouse, huh?” her tone is still casual, but something underneath it has shifted. “interesting.”
she turns, heading towards the door, now bored of the conversation. jinx rolls her shoulders back, silently trying to shake the words off, pretending they don’t stick.
‘the mission went to hell because of you’.
her jaw tightens and she shoves the door open harder than she needs to, stepping out into the lanes where the air is colder and thicker. her boots carry her through the shadows, between bodies, down alleyways without thinking; until she stops. unwanted. just for a second. because her brain thinks the words before she as an opportunity to push them away.
if she thinks you’re such a problem… why does she seek you out? why does she know everything about you? why has she slept with you?
her hands curl into fists, they’re shaking down at her sides.
“it doesn’t matter.” her words are clipped and final.
jinx forces herself forward again, even faster now. she climbs up a rusted fire escape, fingers catching metal without much thought, her boots clanging softly. she hauls herself onto the roof and the city comes into view.
smog. light. noise. and somewhere just beyond it all— the warehouse. her eyes lock onto it immediately, narrow, and focus.
that’s where you are, with silco, being exactly who you’re supposed to be.
what he wants. what he expects.
her mouth twists, “go ahead,” she mutters, even though she’s twitching to move forward again. “be the perfect daughter.”
the title hangs there, dangerous and competitive— her breathing sharp and erratic.
for a second, she just watches the building in the distance; it’s solid and unmoving, quiet and dark. when her nails pick at the skin on her thumbs, she starts moving again.
crossing rooftops like she’s chasing something— someone. she steadies herself across metal, wood, and concrete in an uneven rhythm. a loose panel rattles somewhere behind her, but she’s only focused on her destination.
she drops down a level, swinging across a gap, catching a pipe, and dragging herself back up again. the closer she gets, the louder her thoughts become.
the last 50 hours replay on loop:
you searched for her after the team’s failure to secure half the shipment; due to her supposed incompetence, then you slept with her. she infiltrated your mission, almost got you killed, then… you slept with her again.
jinx is aware of 3 consistencies— anger, release, and abandonment.
you never stay.
it’s a pattern. a cycle. something that may be easier to understand if she doesn’t think too hard about it.
her feet land firm on the edge of the final rooftop and she only slows a fraction; making sure she’s moving silently enough. as she maneuvers around rusted supports and caved ceilings, she’s close enough now to hear it; voices and movement.
jinx stills, pressing flat against the metal, and listens carefully. the voices are faint, but still distinguishable. she exhales through her nose and starts climbing again, even slower this time, even quieter.
she reaches a broken skylight that opens up to metal rafters above. her fingers grasp a beam as she settles inside, low and hidden. she leans forward, closer, peering around the beams just enough to see.
and there you are.
jinx falls completely still; every thought, every excuse, every neat little pattern she built in her head— fractures.
because the narrative she’s been building over the last few days feels confirmed as she watches you.
you don’t look affected. you don’t look like you’ve been spiraling internally like she has. you look sharp, controlled, like the weapon silco raised you to be.
her eyes narrow imperceptibly, her knuckles turning white from her desperate grip on the beam below her; because now she needs to know.
was it really that simple for you? did it ever mean anything? or was it just a mistake? a distraction?
her jaw clenches.
is that all she is to you?
her gaze drags over you again, slower this time, more critical. she’s checking for errors, waiting for you to crack, or hesitate. anything that resembles how she’s been feeling— restless, reckless, wrong.
she sees nothing.
you move cleanly and precise; every hit lands, each step has intention. like nothing is out of place. like nothing is gnawing at you from the inside out.
something hot and ugly brews deep in jinx’s stomach— of course you look unfazed. you always do.
then she notices something.
your shoulder. the movement. the shocking lack of immobility.
her eyes narrow.
because a little over 24 hours ago, there was hole there. she stitched it herself.
she felt the damage under her hands, the torn muscle, the heat of your blood, your body tensing anytime she pushed the needle through your skin. you were barely holding it together.
and now?
you’re fighting gustove like nothing happened. that’s not possible… not naturally at least. she goes still, the realization turning her blood cold.
her gaze sharpens, tracking your movements again; but she’s not looking for emotional cracks this time. she’s looking for evidence.
but she doesn’t need it. not really.
she’s familiar enough with the effects— it’s shimmer.
of course.
her eyes snap to silco, and her expression darkens.
his voice cuts through the space before her thoughts can spiral any further. “again.” low and measured.
her eyes flick to him instantly— tracking as he steps into view. he circles you slowly, assessing.
“you are still hesitating on the follow-through,” his tone sounds almost controversial. “you’ve corrected your stance, but the delay is still affecting your timing,”
you reset immediately, zero argument on your tongue. “then i’ll fix it.” your breath is steady despite the exertion.
he hums softly, stopping just behind you. “i know you will.”
there’s something in the way he says it, certainty wrapped up in approval. ownership disguised as trust. then his hand lifts and settles on your shoulder; jinx goes rigid.
his thumb presses slightly, grounding you in place and leaning in close enough that his voice drops lower. “clear your head,” he adds. “you perform best when you do not overthink.”
the words are smooth, but jinx senses comparison. he’s really telling you not to think about her.
your shoulders square under his touch, instinctively standing taller. “i’m not distracted.” your answer comes automatically.
silco studies you for a beat longer, weighing your response; then he steps back. “good,” he says simply. “then prove it.”
you lunge at gustove again, quicker, sharper, bolder; jinx can’t tell whether you’re fighting like you’re chasing something or running from it. she watches every second, frozen in the rafters, because now it’s not about what you said, or what you didn’t say—
it’s about that version of you.
enhanced. refined. his.
and this version of her.
confused. fractured. lost.
the contrast hits harder now:
control versus chaos. alignment versus opposition. distance versus closeness.
her grip tightens impossibly, mental creaking faintly under the pressure.
because if it really was this easy for you…
if she is really something you can just walk away from…
then why is she still stuck in it?
and worse—
why does she not want to leave?
next part masterlist main masterlist
i tried so hard to get days one and two to fit in one post but it was just… not working. so it is what it is. i’m gonna try and fit all of the rest of it in another post but i might have to make 3…
anyways… thank you for waiting for patiently for this act i’ve had 5 millions things going on in life and haven’t had as much time as i normally do to dedicate to my writing.
DROP ANOTHER CHAPTER of DAUGHTERS OF THE SAME MAN and my LIFE IS YOURS!
😭😭😭
i’m really gonna try and post the next one on sunday. i’m LOCKING IN tonight and after i get off work tomorrow so i can hopefully have it done by sunday……….
I’M SORRY!!!!!!!
i’m pretty sure this next act is gonna be too long for one post so it’ll be posted as parts one and two, but still the same chapter!
i’ve gotten so many anons about this fic and i promise promise promise i’m working on it! i love it so much, it may be my favorite one i’ve written so far.
PLEASDDEEE MORE DAUGHTERS OF THE SAME MAN ASAP IM BEGGING YOU HERE BEUHH🥹🥹
okay, okay i swear… i didn’t forget about it, i’ve just been so fucking busy and have not had a bunch of time to work on it😭
i was focused on a few other projects i’m working on, but daughters of the same man will be too priority going forward until it’s done. i’m literally putting everything else on the back burner for this.
i also started another job on top of my actual profession so i’ve been all out whack and am still getting my schedule together.
I PROMISE YOU!!! i am spending literally every second of my free time writing because i love this fic so much!!
thank you so much for everyone’s support and thank you for reading <333
but let me just say… this next act… y’all better buckle up…
okay so i’ve been thinking (never a good thing) and i’m thinking about how utterly obsessed i would be (and hopefully other too) would be with a ellie williams fanfic. i could just end it there, but what if their characters where a bit like Eddie Munson and Chrissy from Stranger things? like Ellie is a total and complete dnd nerd, likes rock music and has tattoos and shit, while reader/yn is like a shy, nice cheerleader, like kinda popular but not skanky just like sweet and existing. literal plot master frrrr
if you thinking this is a bad thing… don’t ever be good lmao
so sorry this took forever :/ hope you enjoy queen <3
room B217
loser! ellie x cheerleader! reader
summary: wednesdays. room b217. and dnd. you’re a cheerleader; pretty, preppy, and popular. ellie’s dnd nerd, certified loser, and has a defensive attitude. when your paths cross unexpectedly and you’re both inexplicably drawn to each other… alcohol broadens both your horizons…
warnings: 18+, mdni, smut, ellie’s/ reader parents suck, abby readers bff and is rude asf, drunken antics, peer pressure?, fingering (r! recieving), oral sex (e! recieving), slight sub reader.
sorry i SUCKED at making reader shy.
ellie pov is blue
monday
the gym still smells like hairspray and rubber mats by the time you’re leaving. your ears are ringing from consistent shouting— five, six, seven, eight… over and over until the numbers mean nothing. your smile is still stuck in place, even though no one is watching. it’s automatic.
you wave goodbye to the girls, promising to text them about the party after friday’s game, and laughing at something you don’t actually hear. as soon as you turn the corner, your face falls.
the hallway is quiet, conversations muffled from the distance you’ve put between yourself and your teammates. you don’t even remember deciding to not go to your dorm room; your body just turns left instead of right after you leave the gym.
your ponytail is too tight, the glitter on your eyelids is beginning to itch— you need five minutes where no one is looking at you.
the science wing is normally dead this time of day; after 4th period the only people who linger down here are students skipping class and professors looking for silence. you pass the flickering light that hasn’t been replaced since your freshman year, and push open the door to room B217.
the room smells like dry erase markers and dust. the blinds are half drawn and late afternoon light spills in warm and soft. you freeze when the presence of someone else catches you off guard.
ellie williams sits on top of a desk, converse resting on a chair, headphones around her neck, a beat up notebook open in her lap. her fingers are smudged with charcoal and pencil lead; a sketch of something monsterous taking form on the page— horns, wings, and too many teeth.
she looks up when the door clicks shut; eyes sharp, guarded, and a mesmerizing green you’ve never noticed before. for half a second, you both just stare.
“sorry, i uh… thought this room was empty.”
she looks back down at her notebook, pencil scratching against the page again, “it usually is.”
somehow, that feels territorial.
you’re about to turn back around, open the door, and find another classroom to sulk in— not wanting to invade her space. but ellie questions you.
“you ditching practice or something?”
you look down at your uniform, adjusting the strap of your bag before shaking your head, “no, i just… i didn’t wanna go home yet.”
she nods slow, seemingly uninterested, “heard.”
you’re still standing by the door, and for some reason— you don’t leave.
you shift your weight, then step further inside; the sketch in her notebook catching your attention.
“do you always hang out in the back of science labs after class?” your voice is casual, light.
ellie doesn’t look up, “only on weekdays that end in ‘y’.”
you huff a quiet breath, almost a laugh. “okay… but why here?”
her pencil pauses and she finally looks up for longer than a few seconds; like she’s trying to decide how much effort you’re worth. “dnd.”
you blink, “what’s that?”
she squints at you immediately, “you’re kidding.”
you shake your head, “no…”
“like… genuinely?”
“yes?”
there’s a long beat of silence where she studies your face, searching for sarcasm. for a punchline. for the moment your friends jump out and start laughing.
but it never comes.
her shoulders droop a fraction, she debates on lying. “it’s—“she gestures vaguely with her pencil. “a tabletop role-playing game.”
you wait for her to continue, she waits for you to look bored. when you don’t, she exhales through her nose.
“you make characters. tell a story. there’s dice. you fight monsters. save villages. whatever.” there’s an edge to her tone. it’s defensive. like she’s already bracing for your rejection.
“that sounds interesting.”
her expression snaps back to suspicion. “it’s not like,” she waves hand at your uniform. “a pep rally.”
you glance down at your skirt and raise a brow. “i never said it was.”
silence.
you walk a little closer now, leaning against the lab table across from her, close enough to see the details of the creature she’s drawing.
it’s actually good.
“you come here to play?”
“on wednesdays, yeah.”
“with…?”
“other nerds.”
she says it before you can— she’s claiming the word before you can weaponize it.
you just nod, voice still sweet as ever, “okay.”
she snorts, “okay?”
you giggle quietly, “yeah… okay. sounds cool.”
ellie lets out a short, incredulous scoff, “you aren’t very good at this.”
your brows furrow, “at what?”
“making fun of me.”
your face falls, “why would you think i’m trying to?”
she shrugs, turning her attention back to her notebook, even though she’s not really drawing anymore.
and you aren’t really sure why you care… you’ve passed her on campus like a hundred times; noticed her band tees, chipped nail polish, torn up converse.
but there’s something about her that feels… unapologetically real. and it makes your chest stir.
“are you actually interested? or are you fucking with me?” her question catches you off guard.
you hesitate, surprised. “i am… interested.”
her eyes scan your face like she’s solving a puzzle, “you don’t look like the type.”
you lift a shoulder, “you don’t look like the type to judge.”
she snorts louder, “oh— i judge.”
you smile, soft and small, “i guess… sometimes we all do.”
ellie has no chance reply before the door swings open without warning.
“yo, williams—“
a taller, dark-haired boy steps in, backpack slung loose over one shoulder, hair tied back at the nape of his neck; he stops short when he sees you.
his eyebrows shoot up, “oh?”
ellie’s entire posture shifts— her shoulders square, walls sliding back up. “jesse.” she says flatly.
he looks between the two of you, mentally recalibrating. “uh… hi?” it comes out unsure, like he doesn’t know whether or not he should actually speak to you. “y/n? right?”
you nod politely, “yeah, hi.”
there’s a beat of awkward silence. jesse looks at ellie again, and there’s something on his face that resembles impression. “i didn’t know we were expanding the club demographic.”
ellie rolls her eyes, “shut up.”
you feel heat creep up your neck, “i was just leaving actually…” you say quickly.
the five minutes ‘to yourself’ are definitely up now.
ellie looks at you for a second like she might say something else, like maybe she’ll stop you.
all that follows is, “see you around.”
“yeah…” you smile, “see you.”
jesse watches you walk out like he’s witnessing a rare planetary alignment. silence swallowing the room until the door closes behind you.
your footsteps echo as you walk through the halls, your ponytail swinging side to side. you had hoped you’d feel calm, more relaxed after slipping away from all the noise. but your mind keeps rewinding.
you tell yourself it’s nothing. just one conversation. you talk to people all the time. but your thoughts don’t seem to care.
messy red hair falling into front of her eyes, tattoos peeking out from beneath her battered denim jacket, rings lining her fingers. she didn’t try to impress you. she didn’t soften herself. she was guarded and a little defensive.
you reach the stairwell and pause; your phone buzzing relentlessly in your jacket pocket. the girls are asking about friday’s game, outfit options for the after party, and who is hosting. you tap a few quick replies without fully reading the messages, your thumbs moving automatically.
you lean against the railing, it’s quiet other than the faint hum of the vending machine on the first floor. you take a deep breath that doesn’t calm anything and shake your head trying to dislodge invasive thoughts of the disheveled girl down the hall.
wednesdays. room B217. dnd.
back in room B217, jesse hasn’t stopped staring at ellie— arms crossed, eyebrows lifted high. “that was interesting…”
ellie narrows her eyes at him, irritation flickering across her face, “interesting how?”
“come on. you know what i mean. the cheerleader? the nice, pretty one? you actually spoke to her?”
ellie shakes her head, closing her sketchbook and shoving it into her backpack, “don’t start.”
jesse leans closer, smug and teasing, “she likes girls you know…”
ellie stills, not dramatically, but obvious enough. “what?”
jesse shrugs like it’s common knowledge. “yeah, she dated that one girl from the swim team sophomore year. didn’t exactly hide it.”
ellie recoils, “why do you know that?”
“i have ears. and other friends. i’m also not blind?”
“wow…” ellie doesn’t really know what else to say. there’s a beat of silence, jesse’s looking at her expectantly. “what?”
“nothing. you were just looking at her like she just crit-hit you.”
ellie scoffs, “i was not.”
“dude…”
ellie stands up, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “she asked about dnd. that’s it. she’s probably gonna go tell her friends about freak club later.”
“that’s not what it looked like when i walked in.”
ellie crosses her arms, growing frustrated, “then, what did it look like to you jesse?”
a smirk spreads slowly across his lips. “like flirting.”
she pushes past him, heading towards the door. “she was just being nice.”
jesse follows close behind, still nagging, “or maybe she was interested…”
she snorts, “right. the pretty cheerleader interested in the loser freak. let’s be realistic jesse.”
“i am being realistic!”
ellie turns and faces him, stopping in the doorway, “she talks to everyone. that’s like… her thing. she’s nice. it doesn’t mean anything.”
he studies he for a moment, then shrugs, “alright, fine. okay…”
but the way it rolls off his tongue, ellie knows he doesn’t believe her.
wednesday
you don’t intentionally think about ellie for 2 days; you really don’t. but it doesn’t matter what ways you try to distract yourself, your mind drifts back to wednesdays. room B217. dnd.
it’s the little things, like passing the science wing between classes and slowing down without meaning to. hearing someone say, ‘see you wednesday’, and feeling your stomach dip before you even register why.
it’s just curiousity. that’s all. you’re allowed to be curious.
you just aren’t sure if it’s actually about dnd, or the girl who told you about it.
by the time practice ends, your legs feel like they’re made of rubber and your throat is raw from calling counts. the music looping for 2 hours straight— you can still hear ‘five, six, seven, eight’ echoing somewhere in your skull.
the girls crowd around you in the locker room; steam from the showers fogs up the mirror, metal locker doors slam, conversations overlap, and perfume hangs thick in the air.
leah is sitting on the bench in front of you unlacing her sneakers, “okay so… friday. after party at my house is officially off the table. my mom’s hosting that weird wine night thing this month.”
“again?” abby groans from across the room. “how the hell does she even have friends?”
leah throws a sock at her.
you turn around laughing and lean against your locker, “so who else is volunteering?”
mel, who’s standing at the sinks applying lipgloss, chimes in. “owen said his parents are gone for the weekend—“ she says wiggling her eyebrows, “but that could be a set-up.”
“that’s definitely a set-up.” abby replies. “he lives in a townhouse. we’d get shut down in less than 20 minutes.”
all eyes turn towards you automatically.
because you have the biggest dorm room on campus; corner unit, high ceilings, and the only one without a roommate due to housing glitch that was never corrected. but you hate hosting.
the setup. the cleanup. the everything in between.
you already know what they’re thinking.
leah tilts her head sweetly, “y/n…”
“no.” you don’t even let her finish.
abby laughs, “you didn’t even hear the pitch.”
“i don’t need to.” you push off your locker and grab your water bottle, “you guys treat my room like a public venue.”
leah groans, throwing her head back. “that is so dramatic, y/n.”
“is it?” you press. “someone dropped a half-eaten crunchwrap behind my dresser last time.”
mel turns around quickly, tucking her lip gloss back into her bag, “hey… i was really drunk. that is not fair.”
you snort, “girl… by the time i found it? there were things growing out of it.”
a horrified gasp ripples through the room.
nora finally joins the conversation, walking in with wet hair, a half-zipped hoodie, and a fresh pair of leggings on. “to be fair… me and manny looked for that crunchwrap for 45 minutes.”
you stare at her, “45? as in forty and then five more?”
“yes! i swear! we retraced our steps, we checked the kitchen. the bathroom. the balcony.”
“you didn’t check behind my dresser.” you deadpan.
“i didn’t think anyone would—“ she stops. giggling. “well… when you put it like that.”
abby is laughing so hard she has tears brimming her eyes. “my god, that is foul.”
“it was practically sentient.” you add. “i’m pretty sure it had goals. life aspirations.”
mel points at you, “you actually are dramatic.”
“you’re lucky i didn’t text the picture in the group chat.”
nora’s eyes widen, “you took a picture?”
“why are you surprised?” abby asks, still laughing. “she documents everything.”
you shrug, completely unapologetic, “evidence.”
leah crosses her arms, trying to keep a straight face. “okay, but really it was one time.”
“it was not just one time.”
“name another.”
“okay, how about the time i found that used condom in my bathroom.”
abby makes a gagging sound. “oh yeah. i remember that one.”
mel shrieks, covering her mouth, “wait, what?”
“one of you left it there. and every single one of you denied it when i asked!” you snap through laughter.
“we didn’t leave it there!” mel says mortfied.
“did too!” abby points at her. “i know it was you!”
“was not!” mel protests. “i was asleep! i knew nothing about it until just now.”
“sureee…” you say smirking. “i’m supposed to believe that someone randomly left a—“ you cut yourself off, shaking your head dramatically, “you know what? nevermind. i’m scarred for life.”
the girls erupt into laughter again before leah’s voice shouts over the noise. “but seriously, please y/n?” everyone quiets down, staring at you with pleading eyes.
“your dorm room is literally perfect.” your eyes flick to mel.
“and your neighbors don’t complain.” then you look at abby.
“they don’t complain because i don’t give them reasons to.”
“come onnn…” nora groans, “we will all make sure everything is cleaned up. after party at y/n’s!”
you sigh, shaking your head, the corners of your lips twitch up even though you will them not to, “fine—“
cheers and high-fives flare across the room.
“but! you guys are on your final strike, i swear.”
the girls chit chat and laugh as they spill out of the locker room; towels over shoulder, bags slung carelessly, bows temporarily tied around wrists.
you follow for a few steps, listening to abby and mel’s ongoing debate about whether or not smoothies count as a breakfast food; but your mind isn’t on their conversation anymore. it’s on room B217.
you drift behind the group, falling back, and letting your pace slow just enough to quickly disappear from view. the hallway stretches out in front of you, your friends’ laughter fading into muffled noise down the corridor.
when you climb the stairs and pass the flickering light in the science wing, your heart jumps into your throat. unused lockers stretch on both sides, cool under your hands as your brush past. you pause at the door, palms slick with nervous sweat, your heartbeat pounding in your ears.
all for reasons you’re ‘unsure’ of.
through the wood and glass, you can hear muffled shouting— not angry, just excited. a burst of life. you peer through the narrow window, careful not to be seen; curiousity having gotten the better of you.
inside, ellie sits perched on the edge of a desk, thick notebook open across her lap. dice clattering across the table, papers are scattered around like war plans; her friends are sprawled in mismatched chairs arguing, laughing, and gesturing wildly.
ellie throws her head back— her messy red hair falling in her eyes before she brushes it away. her laugh is loud, genuine, completely unguarded. the kind of laugh that makes your breath hitch.
she’s smiling, actually smiling, and it makes something in your chest flutter.
it’s unfamiliar— seeing her like this. you’ve seen her plenty of times, but this feels different. it feels like you’re seeing her, and not the mask she wears for everyone else.
she motions dramatically towards someone rolling the dice. “no, you can’t seduce the dragon, dina! that’s not how it works!”
the girl groans, throwing her arms up. the boy across from her protests. but ellie’s laugh rises above it all. and you just watch.
the hallway is silent around you, other than the hum of the fluorescent light and distant whispers of passing students. the eerie quiet makes the building feel bigger than it did an hour ago.
ellie leans forward, elbows braced on her knees, eyes bright with mischief. “you don’t even have the stats for that.”
“i do too! come on, let me roll charisma!” she argues back, gesturing accusingly towards a crumped piece of paper.
“you have charisma of 8. the dragon thinks you’re weird.”
the girl, dina, gasps dramatically, “that’s homophobic.”
“it’s math!” ellie fires back, grinning.
the table erupts.
a stack of papers is knocked over, chairs screech against the tile floor, ellie reaches out to catch one of the dice before it rolls onto the floor. you notice it all.
you notice how much lighter ellie looks here— there’s no defense to her voice. no edge to her posture. you notice the small crease between her brows when she’s concentrating. the graphite that’s seemingly always smudged along the side of her hands. the freckles on her cheeks that resemble the constellations in the sky.
your chest tightens. you shouldn’t be here. you know that. this feels private, not performative; like you’re watching something you aren’t meant to see.
but you can’t bring yourself to look away.
ellie leans back again, tipping her chin towards dina, “roll.” the demand makes your stomach flip.
the group falls quiet for a second, anticipating dice on the table— that’s when ellie’s eyes flick up. toward the door. toward you. and it’s not accidental. it lingers.
not long enough that anyone else notices you, not long enough to call attention towards it, but long enough that you feel it. a sharp, electrically charged energy between you— briefly, it feels like someone pressed a live wire to your ribcage.
her laughter doesn’t falter, her posture doesn’t change, but her gaze holds yours; aware. considering. intrigued.
your breath catches, heat crawling up your neck. you still don’t move or look away, even though every rational part of you is saying to do so. momentarily, everything between you disappears— it’s just you and her and room B217.
then a hand slams on the table in victory and the spell breaks. ellie looks away first; back to the game, back to her friends, just like nothing happened. but your heart is racing, pounding so hard it feels possible the group inside can hear it through the door.
you should leave. you definitely should leave.
especially now that you’ve been seen.
but you can’t, you don’t.
you feel inexplicably drawn to this room, so you stay, just outside, just watching; debating on crossing the threshold. your fingers flex against the strap your bag, bottom lip pulled between your teeth; ellie’s voice rises again.
“roll initiative. no mercy.”
you almost smile, but— “can i help you?”
the voice is calm, close, and directly behind you. your entire body jolts, spinning around too fast, and gasping softly to yourself.
professor miller stands a few feet away, arms folded loosely, glasses slipping slightly down the bridge of his nose. he’s holding a stack of ungraded papers against his chest— he’s not upset, but confused.
“i—“ your throat has gone bone dry. “i was just—“
he glances at the door, then back to you. “observing?”
heat floods your face, “i didn’t wanna interrupt…”
inside, someone shouts again, there’s more banging on the table; echoing laughs and muffled jokes.
professor miller’s mouth twitches, not quite a smile. “well…” he starts mildly. “hovering outside doorways tends to have the same effect anyway.”
your stomach drops.
because before you can respond, he steps forward, and pushes the classroom door open. it swings wide and the noise inside halts instantly— dice forgotten mid-roll, conversations cut off, every head turns.
including hers.
ellie’s still sitting on a desk across the room, pencil balanced between her fingers, notebook still open in her lap. she turns at the sound of the door, and her eyes land on you immediately.
she doesn’t look surprised, if anything she looks a little smug. her head tilts slightly, a crooked half-smirk pulling at her mouth— the expression of someone who knew you were there, who knew you’d get caught.
dina notices it instantly; her gaze flicking to you in the doorway, back to ellie, then to you again. she does a once over; you’re in your uniform skirt, an oversized school hoodie hanging just above it, cheer shoes still on.
her brow lifts slowly.
professor miller gestures casually with the stack of papers, “if you’re going to watch, you may as well come inside.”
fuck… this is so embarrassing.
but ellie doesn’t say anything— just taps the end of her pencil against her notebook, green eyes fixed on you.
she looks annoyingly satisfied.
professor miller steps aside, opening the door wider. “well? in or out?” he prompts.
the hallway behind you feels colder, but safer.
the room in front of you is warmer, but loud and full of eyes.
ellie shifts forward slightly, one of her converse nudging the chair next to her a little closer to you— that small, knowing smirk still tugging at her lips.
dina’s eyes, and everyone else’s… are bouncing between the two of you like a tennis match.
oh my god. this is hell. it must be.
professor miller clears his throat softly beside you, “clock’s ticking.”
you exhale through your nose, already feeling warmth flaring on your cheeks.
fine. fine.
you walk inside, every step feels louder than it should as your crisp, white shoes squeak against the tile floor. you keep your eyes down, definitely not on ellie, until you reach the desk beside her.
the chair she nudged out, the only one empty, is, of course, the one closest to her.
of course.
you pull the chair out the rest of the way and sit down slowly. you’re desperately trying to ignore the stares and pretend this situation is normal; acting as if you didn’t just get caught eavesdropping on the dnd club like a creep.
ellie’s knee bumps the back of your chair the second you sit down, not hard, but enough to get your attention. your eyes shift sideways, and she’s looking right at you. lazy half-smile, eyes glinting mischievously, pencil still twirling between her fingers.
“nice of you to join us.” she whispers under her breath, low enough that only you hear it.
you shoot her a glare. “i wasn’t—“
“spying?” ellie finishes easily, tilting her head as if challenging you to argue.
you clench your teeth.
across the table, dina leans back in her chair, eyebrows climbing as her gaze continuously shifts between you and ellie.
“okay…” she starts slowly, dragging the word out like she’s still processing it. “what exactly is happening right now?”
you close your eyes for half a second and ellie shrugs, still watching you. this is a fucking nightmare— you should’ve left with the girls. you should’ve pretended to give a shit about smoothies and breakfast foods.
“new recruit.” she says.
your head snaps towards her, “i’m not—“
dina laughs quietly, “people don’t tend to lurk outside the dnd room for fun.”
“i wasn’t lurking…” you mutter.
ellie’s knee bumps your chair again, “she was hovering.” she ‘corrects’ dina quietly.
you glare at her again, “those words are synonymous.”
she hums, “maybe.”
dina leans forward in her chair, eyes lingering on you for another second before trailing to ellie, “oouu, this is interesting.”
you open your mouth to argue, but professor miller claps his hands once from the front of the room.
“alright,” his voice is calm as he settles into the chair behind his desk. “if the spectators and commentators are finished—“ your face burns hotter, gaze falling to your hands folded in your lap. a few quiet snickers ripple through the group.
“—let’s continue.”
a boy you recognize from yesterday, jesse? you think his name might be, gathers a couple of papers from the floor.
“hold on— wait. i need to get this—“ he’s grumbling, flipping through pages of his disastrous notebook. “give me a minute here.”
ellie leans back onto her hands and her eyes catch yours.
“i didn’t think cheerleaders partook in loser activities.”
you cross your arms, flashing her a teasing smile. “is there a permission slip i need to get signed? for ‘loser activities’?”
she shrugs, thoroughly amused. “we’ll see if you can keep up.”
jesse finally rubs his hand together and drums his fingers on the desk, “okay. i’m good.”
“alright, alright.” ellie’s voice is sharper now, slipping back into story teller mode. “you all enter the ruined watchtower, the air is thick with smoke and the smell of wet stone. three goblins peer out from the rubble— what do you do?”
dina doesn’t miss a beat, “i seduce them.”
everyone groans dramatically, dina tries to plead her case, but ellie deadpans.
“that’s enough flirting, dina. you have 2 charisma after the dragon incident. the goblins are confused and slightly offended.”
low laughter rumbles through the group, you bite back a giggle yourself; your heart flutters as ellie smirks at the table. the words roll off her tongue effortlessly, like she’s narrating a movie— it’s insanely alluring.
jesse rolls his eyes, “i attack the nearest one!”
ellie scribbles something down in her notebook, “roll for it.”
jesse grabs the dice quickly, tossing it desperately across the table. everyone leans in as it clatters around the wood before stopping. ellie glances down at the number, and all eyes lift to her.
“…yikes.”
“what? what does that mean?” jesse demands frantically.
she tilts her head, looking down at her notebook again. “it means…” she says calmly. “you miss.”
“unbelievable!” dina shouts.
“seriously? you tried to seduce them! with charisma stats lower than hell itself! this is entirely your fault!” jesse argues.
the shouting continues, blending into words and phrases completely unfamiliar to you. saving throws. armor class. something about goblin morale.
so your eyes drift to ellie— your thoughts stuck on the way her laughter fills the room, how she leans into every new plot line with ease, her lazy smile when someone cracks a stupid joke.
she doesn’t notice, or maybe she does.
you’re taking it all in— taking her in. the way she moves, talks, commands attention without really trying.
a sudden knock at the door makes everyone jump; the janitor pokes his head in, “hey folks… building’s closing up soon. y’all need to wrap it up.”
ellie exhales, leaning back on her hands, “fine, fine… we’ll call it for tonight.”
the group groans, notebooks snapping shut, dice rattling as everyone gathers their stuff. your stomach twists— you were just getting lost in it. in her.
“man, that was bullshit.” jesse mutters, stuffing folded papers into his notebook. “i’m convinced that ellie tampered with the dice.” he points accusingly at the table.
ellie snorts, resting her elbows on her knees again. “yeah jesse. i used my evil dungeon master powers to momentarily control gravity.”
dina slings her bag over her shoulder. “i think your strategy is just flawed.”
he recoils in almost immediately, “after today’s campaign your opinion on strategy means literally nothing.”
“that dragon was into me.” dina’s argues.
jesse lets out an incredulous laugh. “that dragon tried to eat you.”
“passion can be complicated.” dina sounds completely serious.
ellie shakes her head, finally sliding down off the desk and standing behind the chair you’re still sitting in. “you lost half your health.”
“it was a calculated risk.”
jesse scoffs and pauses briefly as he walks past you, a slow grin spreading across his face.
“well, cheerleader…” he taps a finger on the edge of the desk you’re sitting at, “welcome to the nerdiest corner of campus. room B217.”
a couple of the other members laugh on their way out the door, professor miller is watching over the frames of his glasses.
you huff quietly, taking a quick look around the room. “is there a membership requirement?”
jesse shrugs, already backing towards the door. “you showed up. that’s basically initiation.”
dina shoves him gently towards the door, eyes bouncing between you and ellie once again. “wow, i’m gonna enjoy this way more than i should.”
ellie throws a crumpled piece of paper at her, she narrowly dodges it, ducking outside the doorframe. “bye. get out.”
dina’s laugh echos down the empty hallway, jesse salutes casually and follows close behind her. “same time next week, ever-powerful dungeon master.”
ellie leans back against a desk, crossing her arms over her chest. “maybe you’ll manage to roll above a 5.” she fires back.
“low blow!” jesse calls, disappearing from sight.
the room grows quiet as the last of the party filters out; leaving you, ellie, and professor miller. he gathers a stack of papers off his desk and files them into a worn leather bag. absently, he wanders towards the door, fiddling with the buckle on the front before he pauses in the doorway, and turns back to ellie.
“don’t forget to straighten up before you head out.” ellie gives a lazy two-finger salute, “yeah, yeah.”
“i’ll see you at home.”
your head lifts at that.
he drifts out the door and down the hallway, the door clicking shut a moment later.
you glance at ellie, eyebrows pulling together slightly.
“…professor miller is your dad?”
ellie snorts quietly, dragging a hand through her messy hair.
“not exactly.” she pushes a few of the desks into a straight line. “more like… father figure.” then she lifts a shoulder. “…and general caretaker.”
you watch her for a second, straightening tables and gathering stray chairs. “that’s… nice.” you say after a long moment.
ellie glances over at you, amused, eyebrows raised. “nice?”
you shrug a little, “i don’t know. i feel like most teachers barely tolerate their students.”
she laughs quietly, more to herself. “yeah, well… he tolerates me just slightly more than the average.”
she scoops a handful of dice into a small tin, metal clinking softly as she closes it. you don’t mean to pry, but there’s something captivating about ellie; you need to know more about her.
“so… how’d that happen?” you question carefully.
ellie sighs, something in her expression tells you this is a sensitive topic.
“him and my mom were… close? i don’t know he was kinda just… always around,” ellie cracks her knuckles and leans back the table she’s standing in front of. “when she started… not being a mother,” she scoffs, shaking her head slightly. “joel never left.”
you’re quiet for a moment, letting that settle between you, nodding slow. she nudges the leg of a chair with her foot, the soft scrape against tile breaking the silence.
then you ask softer, “how long ago was that?”
ellie glances at you before her gaze flicks back to the floor. “i was 14. high school freshman.”
you blink a few times, “14?”
“14,” she parrots, pausing briefly before continuing. “her life was better without a kid she had to take care of, i guess. joel’s been stuck with me ever since.”
“what about your dad?” you ask before you can stop yourself.
she looks like she doesn’t wanna answer, for a second you think she might not.
“never knew him.” but the words land flat, like she’s said them 100 times before; and a familiar feeling settles in your chest— abandonment.
you lean back in your chair, fiddling with the strings on your hoodie. “i never knew my dad either…”
ellie’s eyes flick up to you, “no?”
you shrug a shoulder, shaking your head, “my mom never talked about him either. she’d just get mad when i asked.”
“your mom stuck around though?” she’s still looking at you, expression softened; almost curious.
you take a deep breath, having never really spoken about this to anyone; but there’s something about ellie. about room B217.
“that’s a loaded question with a complicated answer.”
ellie furrows her brows, deciding if she wants to push or not. “how complicated?”
you search for the words for a second, “she was around… technically.”
ellie tilts her head, arms crossed loosely— listening.
“she worked. like… a lot. weekends, holidays, birthdays—that one always hurt… she was just… trying to make sure we had everything.” you trail off for a second, your heart contracts in your chest. “so i did—have everything. new phones, new clothes, cheer camps, and competition fees.” you huff out a quiet laugh. “but… having things, cost me having a mom.”
it’s quiet for a second; just the hum of fluorescent lights, down the hall a locker slams. ellie shifts her weight, nudging the chair back into place.
“sounds like we both got good at being alone.”
you give her a small smile, the kind that’s sad, but honest. “yeah… sounds like it.”
another beat of silence passes between you, nothing uncomfortable, more so empathetic. but ellie clears her throat suddenly, as if she realized how personal the conversation had gotten.
“i, uh—“ she gestures vaguely around the room. “should probably clean this up before joel pretends to be mad about it.”
you take a look around; chairs still out of place, paper scattered on the floor, candy wrappers and chip bags litter desks. “need help?”
ellie shrugs, “if you want.”
you stand, grabbing loose papers from the floor, stacking them neatly. ellie pushes chairs under their respective desks and gathers the lingering trash. you swallow thickly and inhale slow.
“so…” you start as casually as possible. “i’m having a party friday night, you should come.”
ellie freezes, “…what?”
you giggle softy, “after the game? on friday? i’m having a party. i’m inviting you.”
you ellie squints, crooked smile on her face. “you’re inviting me to your cheerleader party?”
you grin and roll your eyes playfully. “come on, i came to your nerd club.”
ellie’s head snaps towards you immediately, wearing an astonished expression.
“okay first off? you were caught spying on said ‘nerd club’. and second, it’s not actually a club.”
you walk closer to ellie, dropping the papers on the table behind her— ignoring the way your heart is pounding in your ears. “you and a group of people meet in the same room every week for an extended period of time.”
ellie points at you with a crumpled candy wrapper, “that does not make it a club.”
she walks towards the corner of the room where the trash can lives, tossing the wrappers into the bin.
“it’s a club.” you reiterate.
ellie glares at you as she walks back over, picking her bag up off the floor, “it’s not.”
your eyes track her until she standing in front of you again. this time, she’s close enough you can see the faint scar through her eyebrow, the way half of her hair is pulled back but it’s still falling in her face.
your voice catches in your throat, ellie raises her slit brow.
“uh— so… yeah. you’re coming. to my party, it’s only fair.”
“fair?”
“yes, fair. i braved the depths of wherever the hell you guys were tonight—“
“lower than hell.” she cuts you off.
“sure.” you nod. “i survived that, so you have to survive my party.”
ellie snorts, adjusting her bag on her shoulder and turning towards the door. “you really want the weird dungeon master girl at your party?”
you follow behind her, laughing softly. “i think you’ll be okay.”
she studies you, clearly unsure if you’re actually serious. “i feel like i’ll stick out.”
you tilt your head and narrow your eyes. “ellie, we wear skirts for sport and i let people throw me in the air. we all stick out.”
that gets a genuine laugh out of her— you can’t help the smile that blooms across your face.
ellie shakes her head, pushing the classroom door open and flicking the light off. the hallway is completely empty, evening sunset spilling through tall windows.
she lingers in the doorway for a second, slightly unfocused like she’s thinking. “what time?” she says finally.
you perk up at that, falling into step beside her. “10.”
ellie puffs out a breath, “10.” she breathes, repeating it, filing away the information.
you nudge her shoulder with yours as you walk. “see? you’re already considering it.”
she bumps you back, scoffing. “i said i’d think about it.”
“that’s what i said.”
ellie rolls her eyes, but there’s a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.
when you reach the end of the hallway, she stops, and turns to face you. “i… will think about it, seriously.” she says firmer this time.
you step backwards, pointing in her direction as you head in the opposite direction, “10.”
ellie pinches the bridge of her nose, watching you retreat, “you’re pushy, you know that?”
you wink, “see you friday, dungeon master.”
she gives you a subtle nod, “cheerleader.”
she watches you walk away for a second, then calls after you— “it’s still not a club!”
you disappear around the corner, your laughter clinging to the corners of the hallway as the stairwell doors swing shut behind you.
she stands there for another second. two seconds. three. then she scoffs to herself and walks towards the stairwell at the other end of the hall.
“stupid…” she mutters to herself.
ellie’s converse squeak against the tile as she heads for the student parking lot.
a cheerleader’s party.
she scrubs a hand down her face, pushes the doors open, and lazily jogs down the steps.
she should not be thinking about this.
there’s absolutely no reason for her to go to some loud, sweaty, alcohol ridden party that looks like something straight out of a 2000’s teen drama.
and yet…
‘10’.
your voice pops into her head uninvited.
“why am i even thinking about this?” she groans to herself. because you asked.
ellie reaches the bottom of the stairwell, pushes through the heavy door, and into the cool air. campus is quieter now; most people are already gone or are finally heading home for the night. the sky is turning that deep orange-pink color that makes everything seem softer than it is.
she shoves her hands into her hoodie pocket as she walks through the parking lot to her truck.
‘because you asked’ is a stupid reason— she barely knows you.
you’re a cheerleader. loud friends, loud parties, loud everything.
not exactly ellie’s scene.
so why is it that you’re plaguing her every thought?
your smile, your laugh, how you don’t look at her like she’s the punchline of a joke.
and? you came to dnd—sort of…
she gives credit where it’s due.
‘it’s only fair’ ellie exhales through her nose when your voice rings in her ears again.
“it’s a trap.” she decides out loud.
a college party full of people she doesn’t know? yeah… sounds like social suicide.
when she reaches her truck, she fumbles with the keys trying to unlock it, then finally tosses her bag into the passenger seat once the door swings open.
“definitely not going.” she mumbles as she climbs in.
she starts the engine— a beat passes. then another.
“…maybe I’ll stop by.”
ellie immediately groans and throws her head back against the head rest. “jesus christ.”
she rubs her eyes with the heels of her hands.
why does she even care?
you’re a popular cheerleader… who she met literally two days ago…
some pushy, annoying, weirdly, confident cheerleader, who waltzed into room B217 twice, and made her heart stop both times.
“this is dumb.” she tells the ceiling of her truck.
you don’t need some weird, dnd loser girl lurking around your party. but not only had you invited her, you made the choice for her— ‘you’re coming’.
ellie huffs a quiet laugh through her nose before she can stop it, “so pushy.”
she shifts her truck in reverse and backs out of the parking spot, “she probably wouldn’t even notice if i didn’t show.”
she pulls out of the lot, turning on the small road that leads off campus. another few seconds pass, and she sighs.
“fuck… this is gonna be a whole thing.”
friday
your dorm room is already louder than usual, and it’s just you and abby here. music already humming through speakers on your kitchen counter, bass thumping lowly through the walls of your living room.
you’re standing on a chair in the kitchen, shoving a velvet box and a few other things you don’t trust around drunk people behind cereal boxes.
“hey!” abby’s voice echos from the bathroom down the short hallway. “do you have eyeliner that doesn’t suck?”
you hop off the chair and peer down the hall, the bathroom door creaks open, and abby leans out; one of her eyes half-done, the other completely bare.
“this one dries out every 3 seconds,” she waves the pencil in the air dramatically. “it looks like a toddler tried to do my makeup with a sharpie.”
you giggle and walk towards the bathroom. “maybe if you didn’t buy your eyeliner at the school store…”
“it was $4 dollars!”
“and that’s exactly why it looks like a child did it.”
you push past her and reach into your makeup bag sitting on the counter, pulling out your own liner. “here, use this one.”
abby takes it immediately, inspecting it closely. “oh… this is fancy.”
“it was $22 dollars.”
“fuck yeah…”
she turns back towards the mirror, and slowly drags the felt tip across her lid while you lean against the door frame. your hair and makeup is already done, your outfit’s on; the only thing left to do is start drinking.
abby glances at you through the reflection, “so…” you already don’t like that tone. “how many people are coming tonight?”
you shrug lightly, then fix a couple loose strands of hair, “honestly, no idea. the usual crowd and whoever else they bring.”
“mhhmm.” abby’s watching you, tilting her head, you can tell there’s suspicion brewing. “anyone i don’t know about?”
you hesitate for half a second too long and abby whips around to face you.
“…you fucking did…”
you push off the door frame and walk back towards the kitchen, “maybe…” you call over your shoulder.
“who?” abby is right behind you, fixng her shirt and and fluffing her hair— which is normally pulled back into a braid.
you sigh dramatically, like she’s forcing the information out of you. “ellie… williams…”
abby blinks, completely expressionless. “ellie?”
“yes…”
“as in… loser stoner who runs the dnd club?” she questions slowly.
“it’s not a club…”
abby is just staring at you, definitely trying to process what you just told her. then… a slow grin spreads across her face. you know that grin.
“stop.” you warn, grabbing the plastic cups from the cabinet.
abby leans her hip against the counter, arms folding across her chest, still smiling. “how… did you and ellie williams cross paths? and what possessed you to invite her to a party with a bunch of cheerleaders and football players?”
you shake your head and fill your cups with a mixture of whatever liquor and juice is in your fridge. “i may or may not have gotten caught lingering in the science wing… peering through the door… watching their… gameplay?”
abby’s jaw drops slightly, her eyes widening. “seriously? you spied on the dnd club?”
you take a long sip from your cup, pushing abby’s across the counter to the space in front of her. “i was not spying… i was just… briefly scouting out new opportunities.”
“right… so how does ‘briefly scouting’ turn into inviting ellie to this party?”
you wave a dismissive hand, walking around the counter towards the couch. “don’t worry about it…” you smile into your cup when abby gasps and follows you into the living room.
“oh my god…” she mutters, sitting down next to you, staring at you intently. “you like her…”
you nearly choke on your drink, “what? no.”
abby only smiles wider, “you met her… what? two days ago? and you already invited her over.”
“i invited her to a party that just so happens to be at my place.”
abby pauses, still smirking to herself. “well… do we want her to come?”
your head falls against the back of the couch, staring at the ceiling for a second. “yeah… we do.”
“so you do like her?” she questions.
you groan, lift your head, and finish your drink in one long chug; abby’s eyebrows are almost touching her hairline as you swallow it down.
“okay… fine. maybe i do like her. a little. but it’s not like i’m gonna make a scene or anything.”
abby grin turns wicked, “oh, i’m sure you’ll be subtle. you’re so good at it.”
you groan again, abby knows you too well— and clearly she’s having the time of her life with this information.
“if she really does show up, you’re not just gonna stare at her from across the room all night, right?”
you shoot her a glare, a real one. she laughs, finishing the rest of her drink and slamming the cup on the coffee table.
“relax. it’ll be fine. you’ll be fine.” you nod while she continues her pep talk. “you’re y/n y/l/n. everyone likes you, so don’t overthink it. just don’t be weirdly obvious about having a crush on her. pretty girls tend to scare away the losers.”
you exhale roughly and go back into the kitchen to refill your cup “come on… don’t… be like that.”
abby laughs, “be like what?”
“like we’re better than the dnd club because we’re—“
“—normal?” she cuts you off.
you stop pouring for a second, liquor glugging a little too aggressively into the cup. you steady your hand and flick your gaze up to hers. “that’s not what i was gonna say.”
abby stands up and slides her cup across the counter, silently urging you to fill hers too. she’s giving you an amused look. “sure it wasn’t.”
you fill her cup halfway and set down the bottle down harder than you meant to. “i’m serious. they’re not… losers. they’re just different.”
abby makes a face, “different how?”
you think for a second, trying to find the right words, you duck into the fridge and re-grab the juice. “they just… like their own stuff. they’re not hurting anybody…”
abby’s staring at you like you’ve grown a second head. “wow…” she says slowly.
“what?”
“you’re literally defending the dnd club right now.”
you roll your eyes and finish making your drinks, fully over having this conversation. “i’m defending one person.”
abby’s grin returns immediately. “your developing crush on the leader of the nerds is so fucking random.”
you push past her back into the living room and you’re back to chugging your drink. “you’re so fucking annoying.”
she laughs and leans against the kitchen counter, “just enjoying the fact that the cheerleading captain has a crush on the dragon slaying nerd.”
you flop back on the couch and point at her, already feeling your first drink more than you should be. “you better behave tonight.”
abby’s hand flies to her chest, acting as if she’s offended, “me?”
she walks over, standing in the center of the living room just beyond the coffee table— you raise an eyebrow.
“who else?”
“you’re the one with the strange crush,” she tips her cup at you. “and that’s suspicious.”
“you’re suspicious.” you mutter.
“i’m trying to get laid tonight, and you were supposed to be my wing woman.”
“i am your wing woman!”
“then stop sabotaging my chances with your weird attraction to dnd dorks.”
you give her a pointed look, already annoyed with the comments about ellie. “like i said… you better behave. when ellie shows up i want civility.”
“if she shows up.” abby adds.
“abby.”
“okay! fine. full civility. i’ll even shake her hand.”
you snort, “no you won’t. just… don’t interrogate her,” you point like a mother disciplining her child. “and don’t call her a dragon slaying dungeon freak or anything of the sort.”
she laughs loudly, tipping her head back, and walking over to the speakers to turn up the music. “i’m not that big of a cunt. i’ll be nice, i swear.”
you just glare at her, it’s forced though. abby grabs the bottle off the counter and takes a quick swig before passing it to you. “dude… chill out. take a shot. tonight’s supposed to be fun! you’re ruining my vibe.”
you grimace as the liquor burns your throat, you screw the cap back on, and head down the hallway to fix up the bathroom cluttered with makeup and discarded clothing.
a knock rattles your front door as soon as you pass through the bathroom door. “get that, i’ll be out in a minute!” you call to abby.
“i am getting it!”
you close the door, the music muffled slightly by the walls— it’s actually shockingly quiet in here. you lean both hands on the counter to steady yourself and look in the mirror.
makeup’s good. hair’s still in place. your outfit is cute. your heart however, is doing weird things in your chest.
you exhale slowly, forcing a shallow breath through your nose, “it’s just a party.” you tell your reflection. “and she’s just a girl.”
people are already laughing in the living room, voices you can place and others you can’t. you shove the makeup bags under the counter, and wipe the surface clean with a towel.
abby’s right— this is supposed to be fun.
she probably won’t even come.
you open the door and music floods your ears again. leah and mel are standing in the living room with two football players who’s names you don’t care to know.
because all you can actually think about right now?
you really hope ellie shows up.
by the time the party actually fills out, the room doesn’t even feel like yours anymore. the living room is packed— people are squeezed onto the couch, sitting on the floor, everyone’s yelling over each other.
someone you vaguely recognize from your bio class is trying to start a drinking game on the coffee table while two football players you definitely recognize argue about whose turn it is.
you’ve lost count of how many drinks you’ve had and at some point you started taking shots straight from the bottle.
“okay—okay— listen,” abby has you trapped in the kitchen, she’s leaning halfway across the island toward the blonde she’s been orbiting all evening. “i’m very good at pool. like scary good.”
you laugh and nudge her shoulder, “we must have entirely different definitions of good.”
the blonde giggles and covers her mouth.
abby gives you a betrayed look, “you’re supposed to be helping me.”
“i am helping,” you say into your cup. “helping you stay humble.”
abby groans loud, but throws an arm over your shoulder and pulls you in for a drunken side hug as she turns back to the girl.
you end up doing most of the talking for the next 20 minutes—asking questions, keeping the conversation rolling, nudging abby when she starts to get weird.
classic wing woman shit.
somewhere along the way, the thought of ellie slipped away. there’s too many people, too much noise, too many conversations happening all at once. one of the girls dragged you to dance for a minute, someone else hands you a shot you definitely don’t need; abby got dragged outside by the blonde, and you end up laughing with a group of people you barely know.
by the time you stumble back into the kitchen, it’s late. the digital clock on your microwave says 12:57am.
your head feels warm and floaty as you lean against the island trying to crack another bottle, someone behind you is arguing loudly about what song should be played next; and in the chaos of it all, the front door opens.
you barely register it at first, people have been coming and going for the last couple hours. but then you look up, and everything around you slows.
ellie williams is standing just inside the doorway, the door still open behind her like it’s waiting for her to bolt.
for a second, she’s frozen; you really think she might turn around and leave. her shoulders are slightly hunched, hands shoved into the pockets of her dark denim jacket, her hair’s messy like it always is. she has her sleeves rolled up just enough you can see the ink on her forearm; ripped jeans and the same beat up converse she always wears.
she’s completely underdressed for a party and she looks wildly out of place— like someone accidentally clipped her into the wrong movie.
someone brushes past her to go down the hallway and she shifts to the side, scratching the back of her neck.
you hadn’t realized how much alcohol was in your system until this moment, because right now it feels like every single nerve in your body just woke up all at once.
and suddenly you can’t bring yourself to look anywhere else.
you swallow. hard.
your brain running a mile a minute, still trying to figure out how to act like a normal person.
don’t stare. don’t be weird. don’t—
then she glances up and her eyes catch yours.
the second she sees you, her expression morphs into something that resembles relief and possibly a bit of regret.
the alcohol buzzing through your system makes this moment feel strangely magnetic, like the room is tilting slightly toward where she’s standing. ellie looks around briefly, picking at her already chipped nail polish; she looks like she’s still debating leaving.
and you realize— belatedly— that you’re the host.
and you’re standing here, clutching the neck of a bottle like an idiot.
from somewhere outside, abby’s voice drifts back in with laughter— ‘if she really does show up, you’re not just gonna stare at her from across the room all night, right?’
her words hit you like a slap in the face.
right. the host. the person who invited her here. not the weird girl across the room who’s staring like she’s buffering.
you push off the island before you can think too hard about it, setting the bottle down a little too quickly. ellie’s still hovering near the door, someone squeezes past her on their way out and she flattens against the wall automatically, shoulders curling inwards.
god… she looks like a stray cat that accidentally wandered into a frat house.
weaving through the bodies in your dorm is way harder than it should be— people keep stopping you to say hi, someone grabs your arm to ask where the bathroom is, a football player tries to hand you a shot.
“maybe later?” you laugh gently, prying free and finally taking the last few strides towards ellie.
she doesn’t notice you until you’re about 3 steps away from her.
she straightens like she’s bracing herself, and for a second… you both just stare at each other. up close, the noise of the party fades into the background, everything around you feels distant.
besides ellie.
you’re very aware of how close she is.
“uh… hey?” she sounds like she’s asking a question.
eloquent.
you smile before you can help it. “you came.”
she lets out a small breath through her nose, “uh, yeah. you’re… very persuasive.”
her voice is rough around the edges, quieter than everything else in the room; and for a moment, she just watches you— she’s making sure you actually meant the invitation.
“i hope it’s not weird i showed up so late.” she glances behind you, rocking back and forth on her heels. “i almost didn’t come…”
“what? why?” you frown.
you aren’t sure why you’re so surprised to hear that.
ellie shrugs, gaze flicking to the ground, “didn’t really feel like my scene.”
“well, i’m glad you did.”
she looks back up, meeting your eyes; she has a small, playful smile on her lips. “you kinda told me i was coming. didn’t leave much room for argument.”
you grin and tilt your head. “did i?”
“pretty aggressively too.” she adds.
“mhm. that does sound like me.”
ellie finally smiles properly, a strange silence settling between you even though a party rages on just feet away.
ellie shifts again as the door opens, popping the bubble you were in.
“so… where do i stand so i’m not in front of the door like a fire hazard?”
you laugh and reach out before thinking, lightly catching her wrist in your fingers. the contact momentarily steals your breath.
“come on, i’ll take you somewhere safer before someone tramples you.”
you tug her through the crowd, the feeling of her skin burns. you can hardly think straight as you guide her to the kitchen.
ellie’s pretty sure the second you grab her wrist it takes 5 years off her life.
your fingers are warm and soft; your touch is casual in way that suggests you have idea what this small amount of contact is doing to her. she lets you pull her through the room, trying very hard to act like her brain isn’t short-circuiting.
people seem to move automatically as you pass by—smiling while saying your name, tapping your shoulder and cheering; you move through it the chaos like it’s natural. like you belong here.
ellie follows half a step behind you, extremely aware of your grip until you finally let go when you reach the kitchen. the loss of contact is immediate. and annoying. you grab a bottle off the counter and twist the cap off, the seal cracks— a fresh bottle.
“okay, rule number one…” you say, pouring the clear liquid into two cups.
“there’s rules?”
“yep.”
you set the bottle down without screwing the top on and grab the cups; you thrust one of them her way. ellie raises an eyebrow as she takes the cup, leaning against the counter casually.
“if you’re gonna survive this party? you have to take a shot with me.”
ellie snorts, “is that a rule or just a god awful survival strategy?”
you scoff, “it’s both. just trust me and take the shot.”
she looks down at the liquor sloshing in the cup, and honestly? she’s not protesting it.
because right now her heart is still beating like she ran here, and maybe it’ll chill her the fuck out.
“alright,” she raises the cup. “to shitty survival strategies.”
you raise yours and clink it against hers, rolling your eyes.
“cheers.”
the liquid burns all the way down; she winces hard, squeezing one eye shut.
“jesus— fuck…”
you giggle immediately. “oh my god, was that your first shot ever?”
“fuck off,” she sets the cup down, and you’re already refilling it. “i wasn’t expecting battery acid.”
“rude,” you start. “we’re in college. cheap liquor is part of the experience.”
ellie stares into the cup again, then shrugs— fuck it.
she downs the second one too, this one bigger than the first, but it goes down easier the second time. you seem pleased with that.
you snatch her cup and grab a random juice carton from your fridge. “you’re doing great.”
ellie watches you dump several questionable liquids together in both your cups like a mad scientist. when you hand it to her, she’s unimpressed.
“this looks illegal.”
“come on, it’s delicious. look—“ you take a drink from your own cup. “see?”
she inspects the liquid again, “it’s got floaters…”
“it’s pulp, ellie. just drink the fucking liquor.”
she takes a cautious sip and immediately coughs. “oh— that’s—“
you’re already laughing, “it’s good, right?”
“it’s horrible.”
“you’re so dramatic. try it again.”
she takes another sip, then a slightly longer one. it’s bad, but it’s not bad enough to stop drinking. the warmth spreads through her chest quickly, lightening the heavy pit of anxiety that’s been sitting in her stomach since she knocked on the door.
the music is less overwhelming, the crowd feels less suffocating, but you… you’re standing way too close. your arm brushes hers when you reach for the bottle again and ellie feels it like an electric shock.
“okay, rule number two—“
she can’t help but laugh, “i forgot about your ‘rules’.”
you point at her immediately, “hey—do not mock the rules. they’re important.”
ellie snorts into her cup, “yeah? how many are there?”
you pause, thinking way harder than necessary. “…3.”
“you’re totally making this up as you go.”
“obviously!” you say like it should’ve been obvious.
ellie shakes her head, hiding a smile by taking another long sip. the liquor is already doing its job— she can feel the buzz settling behind her eyelids, the warm floaty feeling creeping around the depths of her thoughts.
it’s helping. a lot.
you lean your hip against the counter beside her, refilling both of your cups again like this is a completely reasonable drinking pace.
“rule number two,” you repeat as firmly as you can whilst giggling.
ellie hums, nodding her head.
“no standing awkwardly in corners.”
ellie quickly glances around the kitchen, “we’re literally standing in a corner.”
you wave a dismissive hand, “yeah, but this is different.”
“how?”
“i’m here.”
ellie blinks and stares at you longer than she intends to. the alcohol in her system smoothing out her nerves— suddenly everything about this feels… easier. less terrifying.
you catch her staring and raise an eyebrow, “what?”
ellie shakes her head quickly, dragging her eyes away, and takes another sip of the drink you keep refilling. “nothing.”
you narrow your eyes, a curious smile playing on your lips. “you’re smiling.”
“am not.”
“you literally are!”
she presses her lips together, trying to stop. it does not work.
you grin wide, and unapologetically you—
“oh my god…” when you start laughing, ellie’s heart feels like it may explode. “you’re getting giggly.”
“i am not giggly.” ellie denies it, but the smile will not leave her face.
“you’re totally giggly.”
“you’re giggly.”
“maybe… but that’s normal.”
ellie laughs under her breath and turns around to lean back against the counter. the room tilts in that slightly pleasant way that means she’s definitely past tipsy now. you bump your shoulder against hers lightly, she glances at you sideways.
“looks like you might be having fun.”
you’re wearing that stupid, toothy smile again.
“fun’s a strong word,” she bites the inside of her cheek. “but you’re cool, cheerleader.”
she sees the heat crawl up your neck, kissing the tips of your ears; you glance up at her through your lashes, your lip caught between your teeth. she knows you catch the small smile, still tugging at the corner of her mouth.
“well… you’re pretty cool too.”
ellie’s eyebrows lift, “wow… that’s a high praise coming from the cheer captain.”
you groan, dropping your head against her shoulder; ellie freezes.
“are you ever gonna let that go?”
her brain barely reboots fast enough to form words. “definitely not.”
ellie suddenly forgot what she was doing with her hands, or her face, or anything, really. for second, her brain just stalls.
when you finally lift your head, you don’t move far; you’re still close enough she can feel the warmth of your skin and the spark that lingers when your shoulders brush. you reach behind her to grab the bottle again.
“okay,” you announce, twisting the cap off. “one more shot and then we leave the kitchen.”
ellie lifts her upper lip, “but the kitchen feels safe.”
you giggle, loose and unbothered. “i won’t let anything bad happen to you,” you promise, drawling out your last words. “i swearrrr…”
she snorts, but grabs the cup when you shove it towards her. “that’s a bold promise, cheerleader.”
“have a little faith.”
you pour liquor generously into both cups and lift yours. ellie eyes the liquid, then you, then sighs.
“i’m starting to catch the vibe that you have terrible ideas.”
all you do is smile, “welcome to my life, ellie williams.”
the shots go down easiest this time, but ellie still hisses through her teeth when it hits her stomach.
“god—“
you’re already laughing again, leaning most of your weight against the counter. her buzz settles in almost immediately, ellie exhales slowly and blinks a couple times as the room blurs around the edges.
yep. that one did it. “okay… i’m definitely drunk now.”
you beam like it’s an accomplishment, ellie sets her empty cup down on the counter.
“good! that’s means we can leave the kitchen!”
“mmhmm, i’m not convinced those two things are connected.”
you grab her sleeve lightly, one of them having rolled down, and tug her away from the counter. “come onnnn—“
and that’s exactly when a loud voice cuts through the kitchen, “there you are!”
abby.
she stumbles in from the front door with a drunk blonde tucked under her arm, both of them are laughing about something that clearly happened outside.
abby stops the second she notices the two of you standing there. alone.
her eyes flick to you, then to ellie, then back to you, and back to ellie. she looks at the half empty bottle on the counter, then your entirely empty cups— then a slow grin spreads across her face.
“… well, well, well..”
“—abby—“
she ignores you completely, looking straight at ellie instead; the blonde giggles and leans further into abby’s shoulder.
“you must be the dragon—“
you elbow her sharply in the ribs.
“OW! okay— jesus…”
“behave.” you hiss.
abby rubs her side dramatically, “i was behaving!”
ellie is watching the entire exchange with quiet amusement, she just leans against the counter again with her arms loosely crossed.
abby sighs like she’s exhausted by you. “anyway,” she nods towards the blonde beside her. “i just came to say i’m leaving.”
“already?” you pout.
abby shrugs, “mission accomplished.”
the girl laughs again and hides her face in abby‘s shoulder. you shake your head, exasperated but smiling.
“of course.”
abby steps closer, leaning towards you like she’s about to whisper something— then very obviously glances at ellie again.
“you good here?” she asks, voice thick with sarcasm.
you narrow your eyes and shove her away lightly, she raises a hand innocently.
“such a brat. just checking.”
“out.” you laugh, pointing towards the door.
ellie watches the two of you with a crooked, drunken grin.
abby claps a hand on your shoulder, “alright…” she turns to head out, the blonde still tucked under her arm. “don’t do anything i wouldn’t do!”
“that’s a terrible standard.”
“the point still stands!”
she keeps walking, dragging the drunk, giggling blonde toward the door; halfway through the doorway, she turns around one more time and points at ellie.
“nice meeting you, dragon girl.”
“abby!”
her laugh echoes through the room before the front door slams behind her.
“i’m gonna kill her.”
“she seems… pleasant.” ellie says carefully.
“she’s something…” you mumble.
there’s a small pause then ellie lifts her head towards you, “so…” your eyes are glassy now, a little red around the edges, half-lidded and hazy.
“what’s the third rule?”
you blink, “huh?”
“pfft—“ ellie sputters. “the rules?” she smiles lazily. “you said there were 3.”
you just stare blankly, and she knows you had absolutely forgotten about them. ellie realizes it in real time and immediately starts laughing.
“no, stop! i’m thinking!” you protest, pointing your finger at her like it somehow proves your point.
“alright,” she says, patient in the most sarcastic way possible. “take your time.”
you narrow your eyes at her.
“i’m just saying,” ellie shrugs, smile still lingering. “these rules don’t seem very organized.”
“they’re vibes-based.” you argue.
that makes her laugh again, her shoulders shaking; she ducks her head, slightly embarrassed by how hard she’s laughing. you grab the bottle again and pour two more shots— ellie perks up immediately.
“oh?”
you slide one toward her. “rule number 3…” she picks up her cup, eyebrows raised. “no leaving early.”
ellie studies you for a second, glances back towards the door, then a slow smile spreads across her face. “is that rule for everyone? or just me?”
you grin and take your shot, “just you.”
the next hour blurs together fast, once you pull her into the living room, the party sort of… swallows you both. ellie ends up glued to your side, whether she means to or not.
someone shouts your name and drags you towards the coffee table where a drinking game is going down. ellie slides in next to you on the floor, one knee pulled up, smirking in amusement as you argue loudly with two football players about the game rules.
“dude, that is not how you play!”
“y/n, what are you talking about? it definitely is.”
ellie leans over and mutters, “pretty sure they’re cheating.”
you gasp and point accusingly, “i knew it!”
the table erupts into shouting again. a few rounds later, ellie loses something she didn’t even realize she was playing, forced to take two shots while you laugh so hard you nearly tip over sideways.
“this is a scam.” she says, wiping her mouth.
“you’re doing great.” you assure.
at some point, the game ends, and you move up to the couch. the liquid courage coursing through your veins making you bolder; you let your legs tangle with ellie’s. but it’s not long before leah appears, tugging at your arm, and hauling you up.
“dance floor, captain!”
you protest weekly, but let yourself be dragged toward the middle of the room where a loose cluster of people are swaying to music. ellie stays on the couch at first, watching you intently, her arms folded, and another drink in hand.
halfway through the song, you can’t resist, and weave your way over to her again, “up.”
“no way, i don’t dance.”
“too bad.” you grab her hand and pull.
she resists poorly for about a half a second, then she’s standing there awkwardly while you laugh at her lack of coordination.
“relax…” you giggle softly. you turn around and lean back into ellie’s chest, guiding her hands to your hips.
she freezes for a second, you think she may have stopped breathing; your world, and hers, narrows to the feeing of you pressed against her.
“see?” you breathe. “not that hard.”
ellie clears her throat, “yeah… super easy.”
her hands stay where you put them, you can feel her fingers flexing against your sides. you start to sway with the music, pulling her with you.
after a second, you feel her loosen up a little— not much, but enough she’s not standing like a statue anymore.
“look at you… dancing.” you tease.
she shakes her head and yours tips back against her shoulder— she’s trying very hard not to think about how close you are.
“i think we’re swaying more than dancing.”
“i’ll count it.”
once leah disappears, you and ellie make your way back over to the couch; you’re barely sitting down before nora is standing in front of you.
“who’s this?” she nods towards ellie, smirking dangerously.
“this… is ellie.” you say carefully.
nora wiggles her eyebrows before walking over to the kitchen where leah is calling for her, “i’m sure i’ll be seeing you around, ellie.”
you shoot nora a glare, but she ignores you as she saunters into the kitchen.
ellie doesn’t say anything, just smirks into her drink.
by the time the clock creeps past 3am, the party starts thinning out. people trickle toward the door in small clusters, the music is turned down, someone is passed out half on the couch half on the floor, the kitchen looks like a crime scene of plastic cups and empty bottles.
ellie ends up sitting on the arm of the couch, comfortably drunk now. one foot is hooked against the couch cushion while you stand between her knees, talking to leah and nora.
they’re teasing you. relentlessly.
“our fearless captain is wasted.” leah announces to a dwindling audience.
“this is actually very rare.” nora adds.
you shove leah lightly, “i am not drunk.”
ellie mutters just loud enough: “you’re definitely drunk.”
you whip around and point at her, “traitor.”
she grins— also very drunk.
another 20 minutes pass, more people filter out, and eventually the apartment settles into a much smaller group; just you, ellie, leah, and nora. the music is still playing softly, but the chaotic energy of the party has faded into something slower and way more calm.
leah stretches and yawns dramatically, checking her phone, “okay,” she sighs. i’m calling it.”
nora nods towards the hallway and stands up, “me too. i have yoga in the morning.”
you puff out a breath, “okay, text me when you get back home?”
they mumble agreements before disappearing into the kitchen, arguing about water and leftover pizza.
when the front door slams, for the first time all night, you and ellie are alone. she leans back into the cushions, head tipping slightly as she studies the room; it’s in utter disarray.
then she glances at you; and a slow, crooked smile spreads across her face. “so…” her gaze falls briefly to your lips, before snapping back up to your eyes like it was an accident. “is rule number 3 still in effect?”
“oh, absolutely. there is no leaving early.”
she squints and looks around theatrically, “it looks to me…like the party’s over.”
“maybe it’s not over for me…” you whisper, leaning forward.
ellie’s smile falters, just for a second, but the mischievous glint in her eyes stays. she leans in closer too, now sharing the same breath; your heart is racing, fast and uneven. “and what does that mean? cheerleader…” her voice is low, teasing, just slightly breathless.
“there’s a reason rule number 3 only applied to you.”
her eyes widen, and before she can respond, you press your lips to hers. it’s slow at first, gentle— like you’re testing the waters. she melts against you, tilting her head as her hand slides around to the back of your neck.
the couch seems to shrink around you, so you climb into her lap, straddling her thighs. ellie’s hands are quick to find your waist, squeezing the exposed there.
her lips are warm and slightly chapped, it’s more intoxicating than anything you’ve ingested tonight. every nerve in your body is vibrating as you lean closer, pushing your chest against hers, tangling your fingers in her hair. ellie lets out a soft grunt against your lips before she takes control unexpectedly and deepens the kiss.
her hands grip your hips tighter, her fingers digging into your skin hard enough to make you gasp into her mouth. she takes that as an invitation to slip her tongue slips past your lips, exploring the taste of cheap liquor and something unique to you. the kiss is no longer gentle, it’s hungry and desperate. a collision of teeth and tongue that’s been building all night.
you rock against her, the friction sending a jolt of pleasure straight to your core. the thin fabric of your panties under your skirt does nothing to separate you from the rough denim of her jeans.
ellie breaks the kiss, panting, and kissing down your neck, “fuck—“ she breathes.
you whimper, grinding down harder; your hands sliding down from her hair to her chest, feeling the rapid beat of her heart through her worn t-shirt. ellie’s hands start guiding your movements, and you’re savoring in the way she shudders beneath you.
your dorm is quiet except for your ragged breaths and the music still playing in the background.
one of ellie’s hands moves to your thighs, fingers stroking the sensitive skin there. she pushes your skirt up, exposing more of you to the dim light. her eyes roam over your body, taking in the lacy underwear you chose tonight— and how there’s doubt a growing wet patch leaking through the fabric.
“of course you’d wear something like this,” her voice thick with admiration. “always so perfect.”
you lean down, your lips brushing against the shell of her ear. “not so perfect right now.” you whine, nipping at her earlobe. “i’m a mess, ellie. and it’s all your fault.”
she chuckles, a low, throaty sound that vibrates through your entire body, “good.”
with a swift movement, she flips you onto your back, hovering above you. the change in position sends a thrill through you— this hot, confident woman is nothing like the awkward nerd you invited here earlier this week.
her mouth finds your neck again, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses down to your collarbone. you arch into her, fisting your hands into her shirt. she bites down gently, just enough to make you whimper.
“ellie…” you gasp, hips rising to meet hers. “please…”
she pulls back, eyes meeting yours. “please what?” she asks with a smirk, already knowing exactly what you want.
“touch me,” you beg. “i need it.”
“gladly.”
her hands slip under your shirt, pulling it off to expose your breasts. she takes her time, fingers tracing the edges of your bra until you’re squirming. when she finally reaches behind you and unclasps it, the cool air makes you moan; it pebbles your nipples as goosebumps flare across your skin.
the warmth of her mouth follows immediately, taking one nipple between her lips and sucking gently. your back arches off the couch, a louder moan ripping from your throat. after a minute, she switches to the other breast, giving it the same attention while her hand slides below your waistband.
you’re so unbelievably wet it’s uncomfortable, she groans when she feels it. “holy, fuck— you been thinking about this all night?”
you can only manage a desperate nod, your hips bucking up into her touch. the feeling of her fingers so close, hovering just above your folds, is absolutely maddening.
“words.” ellie murmurs against your skin, her voice a low broken rumble. she nips at the swell of your breast, a possessive bite that makes you gasp. “i wanna hear you say it.”
“yes!” you choke out, fingers gripping the fabric of the couch cushions. “god yes, since you walked in. since i first saw you.”
a triumphant, wicked little grin spreads across her face and she finally rewards you. her fingers slide down through your slick folds and the initial contact makes your whole body twitch.
“fuck…” she groans again, the sound raw and awed. she circles your entrance once, twice, teasing; gathering your arousal on her fingertips. “you’re drenched, cheerleader. soaked right through these panties.”
“ellie, please,” you beg shamelessly. the need is a burning, desperate thing inside of you. “no more teasing. i need it. i need you, please…”
her eyes, dark and blown with lust, lock onto yours.
“ssshhh, i know.” she slowly, tortuously, sinks one finger inside you. your breath hitches at the soft stretch, the way your body instantly clenches around her, trying to pull her deeper.
“so tight.” she whispers almost to herself. ellie starts a steady rhythm, her thumb finding your clit, circling in a way that makes your eyes roll back.
you’re a mess of whimpers and moans, rocking your hips to meet her thrusts, chasing. but it’s not enough, you need more.
“more, ellie.” you gasp.
she adds a second finger and the feeling makes you cry out. she picks up the pace, her fingers pumping in and out of you with a confidence that makes heat bloom in your belly.
her thumb works against your clit in tight, consistent circles— it pushes you closer and closer to the edge. “that’s it…” she coaxes, her voice husky. “feels good, huh?”
her words are the beginning of the end, “s— so good ellie.” your walls are fluttering, your thighs trembling. “don’t stop.”
“you gonna cum all over my fingers?”
your hands reach up, clutching the front of her jacket, “yes! please, please? can i cum, ellie?” you plead, your eyes silently begging.
ellie feels like she’s gonna die. her stomach clenching impossibly tight, her own slick flooding her boxers. no one has ever begged for her like this before. she feels like she can’t breathe.
“jesus— go ahead, cum for me.”
the coil of pleasure in your abdomen snaps and your orgasm crashes over you with brutal intensity. you cry out her name as the pressure mounts, your walls clamping down on her fingers as wave after wave of ecstasy washes over you.
ellie doesn’t stop, her ministrations slow, but don’t stop; drawing out your climax until your whimpering and trembling underneath her. only when you go limp, completely spent, does she gently withdraw her fingers.
you watch through hooded lids and hazy vision as she lifts them to her lips. her eyes don’t leave yours as she licks them clean, groaning in pure satisfaction.
“even better than i imagined.”
ellie leans down again, capturing your lips in a deep, possessive kiss. you can taste yourself on her tongue and it only fuels the fire still smoldering in your veins. your hands, which had been limp at your sides, come alive, pushing her jacket off her shoulders and tugging at the hem of her shirt impatiently.
“can i make you feel good, ellie?”
she shrugs off her jacket and lets you pull her shirt over her head, revealing the pale, freckled skin of her torso and the simple black sports bra she wears.
you push her shoulders back gently until she’s lying against the couch cushions, you straddling her waist. ellie’s eyes are fixed on you, wide and dark with anticipation.
you latch your lips to the skin on her neck, bunching up the bottom of her sports bra as ellie helps you pry it off. you toss it aside, drinking in the full sight of her— she watches your eyes track her body with her lip between her teeth.
you kiss down her chest, pausing briefly before taking one of her nipples in your mouth, swirling your tongue around the hardened peak. ellie inhales sharply, her hands tangling in your hair.
you give her other breast similar attention before descending lower, your lips tracing the abs that hide under her baggy clothing. you settle between her legs, your hands resting on the tops of her thighs. you sit back on your heels and slowly unbutton her jeans, working down the zipper.
she lifts her hips to help you, kicking them off the rest of the way after you drag them down. and finally, all that’s left is her boxers, she’s more than sure they’re already darkened with arousal. when you look up at her from under your lashes, fingers hooking under the waistband, ellie’s cunt clenches.
“can i?” you ask innocently.
“god, yes…” she breathes tossing her head back, voice strained.
she feels you pull them down and her heat is fully bared to you— she’s soaked, flushed with desire. the cool air hits her overheated skin and ellie releases a shaky breath.
you don’t let her feel self-conscious, you lean in, not touching yet, but breathing her in; the anticipation is sweet torture. her body is thrumming with it, every nerve fiber alight and waiting. then, your tongue is on her.
it’s a single, slow stripe from her entrance to her clit, and the sensation is so overwhelming that a choked sound tears from her throat. her hips jerk involuntarily off the couch; so you repeat your movement, establishing a rhythm that has her writhing in seconds.
you focus your attention on her clit, sucking it gently in your mouth, and flicking it with your tongue.
“shit, right there.” she gasps, her grip on your hair tightening, holding you in place. “don’t stop.”
you have zero intentions of doing so. you slide two fingers inside her, groaning against her heat, the vibration makes her shiver. you curl your fingers, searching for that velvety spot that’ll make her fall apart: when you find it she lets out a string of curses and her spine bows.
you work against her incessantly, your mouth and fingers moving in a sinful tandem. she’s already getting close, her breath coming out in rough pants.
her head is thrown back against the couch. her mouth open, but no sounds come out, just silent gasps for air. the muscles of her thighs are quivering where they rest over your shoulders. she’s so close, you can taste it in the air, feel it in the frantic way her body moves.
“come on, el.” you purr against her, your voice muffled by her slick folds. you curl your fingers hard against that sweet spot, and hold them there; her whole body tenses. “i wanna feel you cum on my face.”
that filthy, desperate plea shatters any control she was clinging to. a broken moan is torn from her chest, her hands fist in your hair so tightly it almost hurts. her eyes which had been squeezed shut, fly open and lock onto yours; the raw, unadulterated need you see there makes your own cunt throb.
“please,” she whimpers, the sound is fractured and desperate. the power of it is addictive. “please… i’m so close…”
you double down, working your tongue against her in tight circles, pumping your fingers faster, curling harder. you hit that spot inside her over and over again; her body coils tighter and tighter, a spring bound to snap.
her breath comes out in sharp puffs; thighs shaking uncontrollably. the world narrows to a single, blinding point of sensation. the deep pressure building inside her finally snaps, and pleasure hits her like a lightning strike.
ellie chokes a broken cry of your name as her body seizes. her back arches violently off the couch and her thighs clamp around your head in an unintentionally tight grip.
you don’t let up, your mouth and fingers working against her, milking every last drop. ellie’s frantic curses dissolve into breathless cries and moans. the slick of her arousal coates your fingers and floods your mouth. you groan against her, the vibrations only prolonging her pleasure.
it feels endless, threatening to pull her under. ellie’s mind goes blank; wiped clean of everything but the feeling of your mouth, your fingers, and the overwhelming sensations consuming her from the inside out.
agonizingly, the intensity begins to ebb. her violent shudders transitioning to gentle trembles, the iron grip on your hair loosening. one of her legs falls limply off your shoulder, her body going pliant against the couch cushions. her chest is heaving as she desperately tries to pull air into her lungs, her skin is flushed and gleaming with a thin layer of sweat.
you give her one last possessive taste before slowly withdrawing your fingers. she looks down at you between her legs, taking in the sight below her.
you’re absolutely breathtaking—and just gave her the most insane orgasm she’s ever fucking had.
“okay…” she breathes as you crawl back up her body. “rule number 3 is officially my favorite.”
you huff a tired laugh, collapsing beside her on the couch. the adrenaline from the night finally starts draining out of both of you until nothing is left but heavy limbs and the warm fog the alcohol left behind.
ellie groans softly, dragging an arm over her face. “holy shit…”
your grin lazily and poke at her side, “dramatic.”
she snorts quietly, the sound traveling softly through your dorm. it’s quiet now, the music turned off at some point during the chaos, leaving only the low hum of the refrigerator and a faint ringing in your ears.
ellie turns her head towards you, you’re already half curled into her side without thinking. she grabs her t-shirt off the floor and hands it to you, “here, put this on…”
you don’t have the energy to argue, tugging it over your head, the fabric hanging just above your skirt from earlier— it smells like ellie, which makes your already fuzzy brain even mushier.
you grab a blanket from behind the couch while ellie pulls on her sports bra and boxers with the coordination of someone very drunk and very tired. you both flop back on the couch and you toss the blanket over the both your bodies. you shift closer absentmindedly, curling into her side again.
ellie glances down again, draping an arm loosely around you; exhaustion hits even faster when the warmth of your skin settles against hers.
“hey…” you murmur.
“mhm?” ellie hums as her eyes close.
“you’re comfy.”
she snorts quietly as you burrow deeper into her, it fades into a yawn that she doesn’t try to hide. a few seconds pass, then you mumble something completely incoherent into her shoulder.
“…what?” ellie asks, blinking her eyes open.
you don’t answer, you’re already out. ellie stares at the ceiling for another minute, her eyes getting heavier until they finally close on their own. her arm tightens around you as she dozes off.
and a few moments later, she’s asleep too.
saturday morning
bang. bang. bang.
your head is pounding. that’s the first thing you notice.
the second is warmth pressed against your back and arms wrapped around you.
the third is a loud banging.
you groan softly, burying your face deeper into the couch cushion, trying to escape the sunlight stabbing directly through your eyelids from the window.
the banging grows louder and your eyes crack open. you blink slowly, trying to remember where you are.
the couch. your living room. the party. and ellie—
oh.
your brain moves a little faster now.
you lift your head; hair a mess, make up probably smudged to all hell. the blanket slides down your shoulder as you sit up, and that’s when you realize you’re wearing a shirt that’s definitely not yours. the oversized fabric hangs crooked, barely covering the skirt you apparently never changed out of.
bang. bang. bang.
“OPEN UP!”
you freeze. it’s abby.
you glance down beside you, ellie’s still passed out, under the blanket with one arm still loose around your waist. her hair is a disaster and she’s in nothing but a sports bra and boxer shorts.
your stomach twists.
“ellie…” you whisper hoarsely, nudging her shoulder.
she groans immediately and drags the blanket up over her face, “no…” she grumbles.
bang. bang. bang.
“HELLO??”
you wince.
“ellie.” you whisper again, shaking her a little harder.
one green eye finally squints open. “is someone trying to break in?” she mutters.
“it’s abby.”
both her eyes are open now, “…oh.”
another loud knock rattles the door and before you can even swing your legs off the couch— abby bursts in like a hurricane.
“okay, sorry!” she shouts towards the bedroom you are not in. “i left my—“
she stops mid-step. her eyes land on the couch. on you and ellie. on the blanket you’re sharing. on the fact you’re wearing ellie’s shirt from last night. on the fact that ellie is certainly not dressed for company.
the silence stretches for full 3 seconds. then abby slowly lifts her brows. you sink back into the couch and pull the blanket higher instinctively.
she plants her hands on her hips, looking wildly pleased with herself. “good morning.” she says brightly.
sorry i know nothing about dnd… i read like 6 reddit posts, watched a youtube video, and asked one my clients at work so… this is my best effort…
i thought about putting ellie in a band since i’m not well versed in dnd lore, but that doesn’t exactly scream loser vibes to me……….
NOT SAYING DND IS LOSER VIBES EITHER!!! but…
anyways… requests are open even if they take me 85 years to get to :D
i definitely set this for a part two i might get to… one day…
but i say the word happy loosely lmao… as a mclaren fan, i’m already stressed. their racing strategies are already questionable and from what i understand with the new battery there’s gonna be a lottttt of new variables….
after watching some of the interviews i feel like some of the drivers are seriously downplaying how different this season is with the new regulations. i know they’ve been doing testing but… like… girl… the only person i saw concerned about it was bottas😭
but as always— go papaya, lando norris wdc, and controversially… fuck red bull!
fp1 was a glimpse into my own personal hell so let’s just… take a deep breath and pray.