Trying to get away from abusive parents, please read/share?
My name is Lorraine. Iâm 23. Iâve been fighting depression and social anxiety for a while. Iâve been trying to get through everything by myself, with only the emotional support of my partner, Amandi, and my small circle of close friends. But lately, things have taken a turn for the worse and I feel like Iâve hit a dead end.
My goal in life is just to be able to live with the person I love, calmly, quietly, without stress. That isnât to say I donât want to work, but..
My current job is.. well, terrible for me in almost every way. Iâm not very strong physically, so Iâm constantly in pain. My coworkers expect so much of me that I canât give because of my physical and hereditary conditions. Iâve been working there for three, going on four years and itâs been.. hell for the most part. Sometimes things calm down but then something else happens and I feel like death for weeks or months. In those situations, I get incredibly anxious and nervous and sometimes I miss work because Iâm at home having anxiety attacks. Which makes my coworkers get angry at me and itâs just.. an endless cycle. On top of that, I donât get that many hours, I have all of summer off, and the pay isnât nearly enough per hour to save for a house or move out. Which brings me to my next point: my situation at home.
If it wasnât for this, I would be able to deal, at least emotionally. But lately things have been getting worse. I hate publicizing this sort of thing because I love my mom and itâs very personal but I donât know what else to do at this point. My mother is abusive due to her own mental illnesses. Itâs something thatâs tolerable sometimes but gets worse other times. She decides when to take her meds, so it can come out of nowhere. I love her, but I just canât take this anymore. Sheâs manipulative and doesnât realize it.. Unfortunately she isnât the only problem. There have been a lot of tensions between my mom and my partnerâs lately because they both seem to think the worst of each other, even though theyâre really similar.
We both want to become independent and move away from them. Making money ourselves and still seeing each other is very dependent on their cooperation (we live an hour away and neither of us can drive) which they can revoke whenever they see fit. Weâre constantly treated like children at 23 years old, yet they refuse to help us take our independence.. because they donât really want that.
I want to get another job but my social anxiety just doesnât let me. The idea of interviews scares me so much. I was homeschooled during middle to high because of bullying, and then took my GED. Although Iâd really love to be able to go to college, I donât have the money or knowledge. My mom didnât really teach me much because I was uncooperative as a child and I could never focus. I used most of my pell grant to go to a technical school that I now work at. They basically handed me the job when I finished because they needed the statistics that say their former students were getting jobs.
I feel like weâre stuck.. like things will stay this way forever until someone passes away.
I would really appreciate if you could support us through RedBubble, or donate to my Paypal. (I can do simple custom graphics like on my RB account too, just ask!) If you donât have anything to spare, just sharing this post or sending me advice would also be incredibly appreciated, especially if youâve gone through something similar.
Thank you for taking the time to read this! Have a good day. â„
jacobvanloon
jbbartram-illu
kaledo-art
discoholicmusic
dededos
gummygunk
stormborns
annaxmalina
vaporwave
ellievsbear
