Bleeding Red Ink

Esha / 18 / books and coffee, canvas and ideas, magic, nature, love, dreams, and black. / an ambitious writer, artist, and a crazy, freaky nerd.

[emaraalinsh]

Falling skies and fading stars

And there you are, smiling like it changes nothing...

[emaraalinsh]

We speak a lot about how people need to respect women more, give them the position they've always deserved and we've always denied them. But the question is, is it possible without stopping the objectification that goes by every day infront of our very eyes? When a man turns around to see a girl walking by, only to exclaim that she's — not beautiful — but a 'bomb' or something as demeaning as that. Would it end before you stop ogling at a woman's breasts while talking to her? Or before you stop getting into 'relationships' because she's hot outside and not beautiful inside? I guess not. Right?

Right now, I wouldn't say I myself am not guilty of this objectification, because I am. But while I leave that at porn, you being it to classrooms and workplaces and roads. Do you think it's only rapes that are the bane of our existence? If so, then open your eyes and look around you. 

I was surprised, or rather shook to my core, when I came to know that not one, not one single girl I knew had been spared the wrath of these perverts lying in every corner of every damn place. Some had it less, some more. Some got off easy, forgot, moved on. Some are still struggling. And who can blame strangers when it's right here inside families and friend circles? 

The truth is we do not realise the devastation we're causing when we whistle at a 'hot' girl passing by. Do you have any idea if she's dealing with something when you decide to go out there and show your 'appreciation'? Of course you don't. She might just be out of a traumatic situation — or struggling maybe — and what did you do? You pushed her back several weeks in her healing. Did you see the damage caused? No. What did you see? That you became a stud infront of your group. The fault? I won't even say it's you totally, because obviously you saw something like this somewhere where it was normalised. And of course, thought it was normal. Without ever thinking it from the perspective of the person you so easily humiliated. Because why would you?

The problem lies with each and every single one of us, each and every person who thinks it's okay. And let me tell you, nothing, absolutely nothing is gonna happen until this stops right at the grassroots. Right from eve teasing. Because it is this that gives way to rape. And once a person loses his identity as a human and becomes a rapist (that's right, he's no longer a human, and this is not even debatable), it is probably impossible to pull him back.

But at the point where you are, the majority of you who think it's nothing when you leer at a girl from across the room or say, "damn, look at that" to your friends while openly pointing out to the girl sitting alone at a bar, you my friends have not yet crossed the line, although you're are treading dangerously close to it. There's still hope for you. So take an oath. Try cleansing your mind off the bullshit. You can, and you will. That's a promise. Peace.

[emaraalinsh]

You pretend to love me when you don't.

I pretend I don't when I couldn't love you more.

Truth is, they hurt equally. Trust me, I've experienced both.

[emaraalinsh]

Lost in my search for this mystery of life, it feels now I've lost everything.

[emaraalinsh]

I know you wanna hold my hand and see the light

But how do I tell you I myself am broken inside?

[emaraalinsh]

"It's on a night like this

That I wonder if I could steal your kiss."

[emaraalinsh]

They say, "It will heal."

But would it, when I keep scratching it open every night?

[emaraalinsh]

I can hear my soul calling out to me

While I lie here petrified by its screams.

[emaraalinsh]

When you held me against you that night

You touched my body, you tore my soul.

[emaraalinsh]

"There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls."

[emaraalinsh]

They say "it will heal."

But would it, when I keep scratching it open every night?

[emaraalinsh]

Havoc or Hope?

Staring into oblivion, lost in deep thought,

Trying to quiten my soul, suddenly I cry out.

Waves after waves of nausea breaking me down,

Eyes scrunched tight, face set in the deepest frown.

.

Feeling the hurt seething and churning in my veins,

My anger boils as I try to ignore the pain.

Fists balled so tight, my nails cut my palm.

Drowning depths of distress making it impossible to be calm.

.

Nothing but darkness covering me inside and out.

Worthlessness of life filling my mind with doubt.

Walls of hope crumbling to dust inside me,

Leaving me with nothing but the option to flee.

.

And yet when I ask myself what I want to do,

It seems as if I still don't have a clue,

Except, though that this has wrecked my life,

I can't see myself giving up in the strife.

.

Though the depression has rushed to cloud me from everywhere,

And though I run from my demons, trying not to care,

I still question myself if I can hold it in me a bit more,

Until I come across that tiny ray of hope...

— Emara Alinsh

[emaraalinsh]

The Enigma of Life

In search of stars

In search of mountains

In search of lost memories

In search of forgotten promises

In search of new beginnings

In search of unfinished endings

In search of tranquility

In search of profoundness

I've lost my sense of perception​...

Visions have started to haunt me

Making me question my sanity

Blurring the lines

Between illusion and reality

Between fantasy and actuality

Between truth and lie

And in my heart I'm scared

Scared of this enigma

And the truth I'm discovering...

Running away from myself

Fearing dark, fearing the oblivion

My eyes scan

The vast stretch of nothingness

The trail of broken dreams

The churning ocean of tears

The debris left after destruction.

And I can do not a thing

Except break down and sob.

Times seems to have frozen,

Existing, but inanimately.

But no, it's dynamic, it is passing

And with no trace at all.

And I'll not know it now

As I shake from the impact

As I feel the tremors inside me

The effects of this realisation...

Right now I just hope

To put together this puzzle

This mystery of existence

For I've reached too far off to resist.

– Emara Alinsh