11-2-14
Weight of the world on my shoulders I tend to walk around with this happy nothing is wrong smile, but in reality that's a front. Instead of confronting the problems I'm facing I just push them in my "forget about them" system I've created for myself. Causing more damage in the end. I try to be so strong, I make myself weak in the end. Being strong in my eyes is never letting someone see you hurt, or bust a sweat. I'm the oldest child, and probably the most troubled. I never let it show though, never will. I love my family with all my heart and soul. I want my whole family to do well. Sometimes I worry about everyone, maybe more than I should. I see so much potential in myself. I think I was born to help people, like really help them. No matter how bad I get treated, something in me can't wish or think nothing bad on my worst enemy. I'm so quick tempered, I try not be. But I let people bring the worst out of me, I just feel like everyone should treat me how I treat them, but that's not how it's going to always work. Ghandi is someone I really look up to, I always think my problems are major; but ghandi really had problems and never once got upset to the point where he wanted to harm others. That's how I want to live man. I'm going to be a blessing to a lot of people and a lot of people are going to be a blessing to me. I have no idea how I'm going to do anything I want to do, but I know I'll figure it out. I always do. All I want is love, a family, and do what I was put on this earth to do. Even if I get discouraged I'll never give up. I'm fighting some demons right now, but it'll get better.
