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@embracewithintention
As it was requested (and these are the three things that I personally have) I made a Venn Diagram showing the overlap between ADHD, Autism, and Anxiety!
I can hear change humming
In its loudest, proudest song.
I donāt fear change coming,
And so I sing along.
Change Sings by Amanda Gorman
How are you doing? Iāve been wondering how you have been doing with uni and life⦠and most importantly whether you are happy?
Uni is okay, life is okay, everything is alright. Am I happy? Some of the time.
You seem to be in a good place at the minute (from reading your posts) which is very good to see! What would you say was the turning point for you? Or was there one?
There definitely was not one turning point, there was lots of little things that have added up over time to making my life a whole lot better.
In no particular order:
Eating enough
Medication (cannot stress this enough š)
building a life outside of being "anorexic" - that meant cutting ties with people who were unwell, trying a ton of new stuff (despite being anxious as hell and thinking I would hate it - some of it I did hate but I didn't know who I was outside of my eating disorder and I had to find out)
Getting my autism diagnosis
Getting my autism diagnosis late enough that I had pushed myself through all the anxiety and stress of trying new things and trying to "fit in" because I wanted to be "normal" - otherwise I think I'd have settled for a crappy quality of life when I am capable of doing more (I still have enormous anxiety and I will never fit in but my autism diagnosis has enabled me to understand and work with my brain)
Being proactive in my recovery -there are so many people ready and willing to set a really low bar for what counts as being recovered "enough" to leave treatment or go back to work or to stop gaining weight but those are terrible ways to measure the quality of life that you are living so for me, thinking about my own goals and my own life that I want to create for myself has been super helpful in helpful in me pursueing it. And that is not able to be measured on charts/graphs. But is still a work in progress š„°
Did you not like your old T?
I liked her a lot :)Ā
How are you finding things without your old T? Do you miss her?
It is fine. I have not missed her. I am seeing someone else who I am finding really helpful :)Ā
Hey x how you doing?
I am alright, thank you. Very happy that uni is finished for the year and lockdown is lifting š
āGrief is really just love. Itās all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.ā
ā Jamie Anderson, via tinybuddhaofficialĀ
I don't know what I think about anything anymore
āA single person is missing for you, and the whole world is empty.ā
ā The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion
Defining "Recovered"
I have used the term "recovered" and spent my entire career as an eating disorder therapist defending it... i.e., working hard to establish a consensus in our field that indeed a person who suffers from an eating disorder can become fully recovered.
Since the field does not have a definition for this term I decided to come up with my own which was first published in my book,Ā 100 Questions and Answers About Eating DisordersĀ and then inĀ 8 Keys To Recovery From an Eating Disorder:
"Being recovered is when the person can accept his or her natural body size and shape,
self destructive or unnatural relationship with food or exercise.
When you are recovered, food and weight take a proper perspective in your life
and what you weigh is not more important than who you are,
in fact, actual numbers are of little or no importance at all.
When recovered, you will not compromise your health or betray your soul
to look a certain way, wear a certain size or reach a certain number on a scale.
When you are recovered, you do not use eating disorder behaviors to deal with, distract from,
or cope with other problems."
Even though not all clinicians and thus sadly not all clients, believe that being fully "recovered" is possible, using my definition, it certainly seems like a good goal to aim for with clients and that therapists who have reached this goal would be a welcomed addition to the field. How clients and clinicians view the disorder and the end goal of treatment can affect, not only the nature of the treatment, but the actual outcome itself. If both believe that those suffering from eating disorders can be fully recovered, this will help them pursue "being recovered" as an end goal, not settling for less or ending treatment before this is accomplished.
- Carolyn Costin
I hope you donāt mind me asking but are you on any medication? And if so, what is your experience of it?
Hello,Ā I am on a few different medications and have also tried various other medications at different points through my treatment journey. I am going to answer this in 2 parts. 1) I take medication for anxiety and have been on the same medication for a very long time. I need it, it helps me, and that is all there is to it. In times of crisis, sometimes I have had extra doses of other medications prescribed on top of this for a short period and 100% feel this is a strategy that helps me.Ā 2) I have had mixed experiences with medications that were prescribed for my obsessive thoughts BUT the reason for that was because of a lack of understanding and evidence around what I was going through. So trial and error with various antipsychotics (that sometimes help with obsessive thoughts) really did not help me at all and caused some difficulties for me - which, now that I am diagnosed as Autistic, make sense. Once I was correctly diagnosed with OCD and prescribed an anti-depressant that in high doses is often used to treat OCD, my life was literally transformed. Long-term followers (if there are any š) will know that obsessive thoughts, for me, have been really distressing and left me literally unable to speak at times. I know that not everyone has the same reaction to this medication (by a long shot) and consider myself VERY lucky to be doing well on it. I am on other medications too for various issues (nerve damage, a migraine disorder, etc) that are also used as anti-depressants so there are those things thrown in there which likely help my mood a bit. I would say if syour doctor is suggesting medication and you have not yet tried it, it is 100% worth giving it a go.
Iām not the anon who asked the other questions (no idea why I feel I have to tell you that!) but I saw you mentioned work. I was wondering if you were working as well as doing uni and how you managed to fit it all in! It sounds like your life is much fuller these days and that is awesome. Hope you are coping/ do cope well when your therapist leaves. Take care!
Ask as many as you like, I do not mind at all! š Yes my life is MUCH fuller (a bit too full on days like today, haha). I study part-time and my current work is voluntary - so although I tend to be juggling a few too many projects at once, I have managed to pace things better than I had previously (when I had tried to do one thing full time and just struggled to function at all after 2-3 months). This time has been a much more gradual build up of putting little pieces of my life together and am now working towards my degree (hooray!) and building up a few cool things I am proud to have on my CV š (Which isnāt loads but I was trapped in a crash-and-burn cycle for years and trying so hard to beĀ ānormalā and I never thought I could do anything for any solid amount of time so...it is something...) š
Where would you say you are in terms of ārecoveryā from your eating disorder? How much further do you feel you need to go to reach a place you will be happy in?
Hi š I am pretty happy these days!Ā In terms of my recovery, it is quite hard for me to tell what is autism and what is eating disorder - a lot of what I thought were my eating disorder are much more to do with being Autistic (like eating the same foods, etc) so I am still working on untangling that, and with it being lockdown, it has been quite hard to go out to try new things, etc. But I do plan to keep trying to make more progress in that area whether it is autism or ED stuff. I donāt really have obsessive thoughts anymore - at least, I NEVER make lists or plans (thanks medication š„³ ), no idea what I weigh / donāt care (body image was never really a thing for me tbh, ... Probably would not even think about eating disorders at all if it wasnāt for the fact that I have some work-related stuff I do now that keep me involved (but def not triggered, like I really do not get triggered, it just makes me really upset how shitty EDs are š£š„) Not sure what else. I exercise for a sport I do at uni and train for that but outside of that, do like zero exercise. I like walking still, with my headphones and sunglasses but usually do not have time anymore due to life and other things. Ā š
Everyone wants to know how to treat an eating disorder, how to help someone recover. The truth is that nobody knows. TheĀ āexpertsā, theĀ āprofessionalsā - they say all kinds of stuff, cite all sorts of research studies, but what they are talking about is weight restoration to semi-normal (even what that means isnāt agreed upon) and symptoms dissipating.Ā
Adequate nutrition helps. Being a health weight helps. AĀ ānormalā eating pattern helps (ie, regular meals including all food groups). Beyond that, the evidence for how to acheive recovery, it is all guesswork. A
If you are waiting for the right treatment protocol or the right treatment centre or the right therapist or the right words to give you permission to start taking steps forward: there is no such thing.Ā
Which is both terrifying and liberating.Ā
āYou save yourself or remain unsaved.ā - Alice Sebold