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In the bathroom... taking a shit... need to put down my phone to wipe ass... ain't gonna.

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Thanks, tumblr....

You know how tumblr notifies you after you made a post? "Posted to embracingeverything213. Yay" I just can't help but feel happy with that small Yay at the end... Even though my OCD is just begging me to put a period at the end.

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Long...

You know how you ask your parents or teachers a simple question and they answer it but it ends up being this really long lecture that starts at "driver's permit" but ends at "drugs and alcohol".

Well, it's good to know that you know how I feel.

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Lizards... -_-

When you're one of those people who don't fear cockroaches and spiders, but you have the absolute weeber jeebers when a lizard touches you.

(Appropriate GIF)

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Me: (desperate to skip church instead of class)

Me: Hey, do you know any clubs that have meetings on Sundays?

Friend: Why? Well, the canoe club...

Me: Good God, yes. I need an excuse to not go to church.

Friend: Do you even know anything about canoes?

Me: Hell, no.

Friend: (glares) I can hear how unreligious you are.

Me: God will understand.

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Split personalities

When you have split personalities between school and church... and the anime club.

(Don't have a good meme)

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Freshman problems

You know you're more mature than your fellow freshman when they're still talking about fidget spinners, slime, and dabbing.

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Satisfied

When your life has resorted to watching life hacks and satisfying videos.

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Bird on snapchat...

On my way to third period, after lunch, the bell rang and I was f*cking late. There was a girl who was rushing along with me. We pass the short bridge and small stream and there's a big a*s bird there that's catching fish. She abruptly stops, brings out her phone, and snapchats it.

Sometimes, I wish I was this laid back that I'd social media practically everything even when I'm late as f*ck.

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Seniors and juniors...

I know you, seniors (and maybe, juniors), think that us, freshman, are so immature and want to cringe when we even breathe around you. But sometimes we think, "Wow, this d*ck is a senior? And I thought my younger brother was immature with his pogs and fidget spinners."

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Friends: *only talking about big and funny (in other words, horrible) Halloween ideas

Me: *doesn't have the money, neither wants to get embarrassed

Friends: So do you want to do it?

Me: Mmm... suuuuure...

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No one?

Have you ever had that weird "your-mom-is-fingering-you dream"? Nope? No one? Only me? Okay, then.

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ToG spoiler!!!

Okay, so don't tell Sarah J. Maas that I told you guys, but... Dorian and Manon are going to die. Dorian's powers are going to be sacrificed instead, and Manon will use her witch powers (where the witch uses her only magic and explodes... forgot what it was called) so that Dorian will have time to do the ritual where all the gods come together and suck the power out of him and cross into the other realm with the Valg and seal the Wyrd gate.

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CHORES

If only parents of the Stone Age didn't define activities like washing dishes or doing laundry as "chores", then us, children, wouldn't feel so lazy doing it then.