paper heart.

[dundermifflingifs]

[stability]

[simonobirek]

I have lived, as they say, keeping myself to myself, that is, utterly alone — alone, entirely alone. Do you know what it means to be alone?

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, White Nights (via shilohwrites)

[connectivitty-blog]

cell phone headcanons

send me ”#” for cell phone headcanons about our muses including:                              - what your muse’s name is in mine’s phone                              - what your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone                              - what your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone                              - my muse’s last text to your muse

[luxisms-blog1]

1, 10, 12, 17, 19, 30

1. How old were you the first time you fell in love?

i can’t pinpoint the first time i fell in love. i’ve loved her for as long as i can remember, even since i was five years old, maybe, but i didn’t know it then. i guess i really knew that i was in love when i was around fourteen, or fifteen ? 

10. What do you think love is? 

it’s too big and good to be able to describe. i know i sound like a cynic who refuses to fall in love half the time, but i’m a firm believer in love — all and any forms of it. i think the purest form of love would be caring about someone else more than you do yourself, something being a parent’s made me realize.

12. Do you want to get married?

one day, yes, but i can’t see myself getting married any time soon. but i do imagine myself in that whole white picket fence, surrounded by a bunch of grandkids kind of dream from time to time.

30. Do you think you’ll be happy later in life?

i think i’ll always be working to achieve happiness no matter what, so i can’t really say for sure. but i’d hope so, yes !

[emerssn-blog1]

do you miss your old life, the way things used to be for you?

“i miss some aspects of it like crazy, but honestly ? not really. i’ve spent so many years moving around, shifting things around but now i’ve finally established some sort of routine. there are some parts i could do without, things that are still missing but things have always been hard, so i’d rather stay put here.”

[emerssn-blog1]

16-21 for the send a # thing!!

16. Have you been cheated on?

not that i know of, no. i’d like to think i haven’t, so i’ll stick to that answer.

17. How many times have you fallen in love, requited or not?

i don’t like to count up all the times i’ve fallen in love, but i can definitely say the number isn’t very high. less than five is probably the safest guess.

18. Have you ever rejected anyone?

yes, and rejecting someone feels fucking awful. it has to be done, of course, but i wouldn’t recommend it for anyone.

19. Have you ever cheated?

nope —never have, never will.

20. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?

i feel fortunate to say i’ve never had to endure that kind of torture. i don’t think i could ever do it, honestly. it’d hard enough as it is for me to commit to relationships with people i see on a daily basis.

21. Do you prefer the romantic or sexual aspects of relationships?

in a relationship, the romantic aspect is always a bigger priority for me. don’t get me wrong, sex is great, it’s essential. but it can be done with just about anyone, y’know? intimacy is different story.

[emerssn-blog1]

if you had to get into a relationship with anyone in golden horizons, who would it be?

“if it were up to me, no one. but if i HAD to choose, i’d have to go with harrison. i mean, we’re already practically married, anyways.”

[askbait]

Send a Number

1. How old were you the first time you fell in love? 2. Name the first person who broke your heart 3. How many different best friends have you had in your life? 4. Do you have a best friend? 5. Do you have any specific talent? 6. Do you fit into any stereotypes? 7. What’s your sexuality? 8. What’s your favorite animal? 9. What are your favorite pet names? 10. What do you think love is? 11.When did you discover your favorite band? 12. Do you want to get married? 13. Do you want to have kids? 14. When did you have your first kiss? 15. How did you lose your virginity? 16. Have you been cheated on? 17. How many times have you fallen in love, requited or not? 18. Have you ever rejected anyone? 19. Have you ever cheated? 20. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? 21. Do you prefer the romantic or sexual aspects of relationships? 22. What’s your favorite thing about your significant other? 23. Do you have a significant other? 24. What’s your favorite thing about your best friend? 25. Do you want a significant other? 26. Do you like anyone? 27. Who was the last person you loved? 28. Do you have a celebrity crush? 29. Name a song that makes you want to fall in love 30. Do you think you’ll be happy later in life?

[emerssn-blog1]

NORA.

typically nora spent her days off in bed - but after a few hours of laying there she found it impossible to sit still, so she decided to spend her day out doing some shopping, even if the last thing she needed to be doing was spending money. she’d strolled into a few stores, buying a few things she really didn’t need, and ended up walking into a small store that she’d seen before but never really been inside. she pushed open the door and eyes were immediately drawn to the spilled coffee on the counter and the man who was drinking it. “oh yeah –– it looks like it,” she said with a small chuckle, “would it make you feel better if i said i did the same thing this morning ??”

“a little,” he replied before adding on, “but your incident this morning isn’t quite enough to make up for this happening to me EVERY morning.” emerson grinned as he began cleaning up after himself, dabbing at the large stain on his shirt with a few napkins before accepting that there was no saving it. “well, there goes my last shirt that wasn’t ruined by coffee.” he tossed the napkins into the trash before glancing down at the dark brown spot once more. “but i’m guessing you didn’t just come in here to make a fool out of myself — can i get you anything ?” the male asked as he wiped down the counter with a rag after making his way behind the cash register.

[emerssn-blog1]

SAMANTHA ; 

samantha let out a HUFF as she readjusted the bag that rested on her forearm. it probably wasn’t the best idea to forget the shoulder strap to her purse. nonetheless, she figured some writing time in a coffee shop was much needed –– preferably one that wasn’t so crowded. she sighed in relief after successfully finding one that was rather empty. readjusting her bag once more, she swung the door open, hearing the bell chime as soon as she entered. she grimaced slightly at the male before chuckling and shaking her head. “ i will definitely take your word for it. if i had some sort of magical stain removing formula on me, i would definitely give it to you, but sadly, i don’t. ”

“ c’mon, sam. you go around sharing useless valentine’s day facts but you’re telling me you haven’t figured out the magic to removing stains ?? ” emerson’s words, though dripping in sarcasm, held a serious tone as the male attempted to pull off a more dramatic ( and unconvincing ) form of annoyance and disbelief.  “ you’re a DISGRACE to san francisco. ” he made sure to shoot her a glare before grabbing a handful of napkins from the dispenser and turning to wipe the table as well as his shirt ( that was already beyond help, but still worth a try ).

[emerssn-blog1]

[whitefoxtrappedinbetween-deacti]

[emerssn-blog1]

HARRISON.

“ I  D O N ‘ T  K N O W what you’re talking about. i’m just hanging around here being a gracious tenant who appreciates golden horizons’ thoughtful valentine’s party. ” responding innocently, the only concession that harrison really wanted to disappear somewhere that’s never hosted the streamers’ nauseating shade of pink and boasted drinks that had been chilled at least an hour beforehand manifested in a flashing grin. “ for someone who thinks that the drinks here are like animal piss, you’ve shoved more of it down your throat than i expected. or can you not tell the difference between that and the things you say? ” 

“you don’t have to lie to ME, harrison. save it for that girl over there that’s been staring at you since you’ve gotten here.” his glance shifted to the woman he’d been referring to who stood across the room, still proving his observation to be true. “this party’s a fuckin’ MESS, and the fact that it looks like someone vomited out pink all over the place doesn’t help.” like harrison, emerson had tried to put on an optimistic disposition but he’d given up only minutes into the function. “who said i was opposed to drinking animal piss ?? you don’t know what i do in my free time — why do you think i never let you raid my fridge ?”

[emerssn-blog1]

LUCIA.

lucia huffed, jutting her lips out to form a pout and reached out to nudge his shoulder gently. “ why are you trying to send me away already ? i think i could find a perfectly good seat around here, ” she sighed. “ nice to see a smile though. your dentist must be proud of those pearly whites. lord knows, they’re impressive. ”

“i just figured you could do with a lot better of company. but if long periods of silence is your thing, be my guest.” shrugging a shoulder, the male smiled in spite of himself. he rolled his eyes in modesty at lucia’s honey-coated words, unaccustomed to the direct attention. “i’ve gotten compliments on my beard, but my teeth would have to be a first. you usually take note of that kind of thing ?”

[emerssn-blog1]

CASSANDRA.

it wasn’t a surprise that cass definitely wasn’t feeling as up to the challenge of being friendly and happy at a party and conversing with people she didn’t even know that well, especially when it was a party dedicated to the valentine’s day. it was only an added bonus that she could very well see her ex-husband around here somewhere as well and it all just made her want to go back to her room and watch sappy romantic movies instead. never did she think that she’d be living in an apartment all by her lonesome when she was nearing thirty years old, with no kid and no husband, and as soon as that thought entered her mind, cass immediately went searching for the alcohol. it eased the thoughts slightly but she had to remind herself that she didn’t want to get herself drunk tonight, not when she could still make this party an opportunity to be with her friends and feel their love and give her love to them instead. “oh, me?” cass asked, slightly surprised at the question, before a somewhat soft smile made its way on her face. “emerson, hi,” she greeted him, her smile growing warm at the sight of the familiar face. “nope. not one bit, but i should probably move away from this wall to make any sort of progress,” she said with a small laugh. “i take it we’re in the same boat?”

when he shared with others that he was thirty two years old, and a single father, he was often met with mixed reactions though they were always usually somewhere along the lines of pity. the concerns were understandable, especially seeing as emerson made it very clear he had no interest in settling down any time soon. his reluctance in getting himself into a serious relationship was not out of fear of commitment, but rather the fear of change. though mundane, emerson liked the routine he’d established over the years he’d spent in san francisco, and finding romance was the least of his worries. he’d decided to come to the party as more of an attempt to make friends than anything else. standing on his own in the corner wasn’t exactly the most efficient method, but it was what he was best at. when spotting cassandra next to him, emerson felt a sense of relief in finding company with a familiar face. “so you’re hoping to meet someone, then ?” he raised a brow, unable to hide his curiosity. “this wall probably isn’t gonna bring you any luck — i’d suggest the one in that corner.” emerson said with a grin, nodding his head in the direction of the other side of the room. “that side’s free of brooding loners.” at her question, the male nodded his head as his grin softened, slightly embarrassed in admitting to her assumption. “guess so, though i’d say you’ve got a much better shot than i do.”

[emerssn-blog1]

Note: Thank you for always being there for me and for all the cuddles.

Much love, Cass