They had been here before. Once or twice before, they had tried to reconcile their bond. They had even tried to reconcile their bond the first time Emilia had found out about Kat. And like every time before now, they had said they would try and they would have a good day or two and then they’d fight again and dredge up all the pain and hurt from the past. She’d thrown accusations at her. He’d yell back, reminding her of her infidelities of the past and the hurt she’d cause. She’d cry. He’d leave. It was a vicious cycle. The last time had gotten so bad that he had went back to Kat even though he had promised Emilia that he was done with her. But every other bad time had never quite felt so real. None of the other times, had he ever been so afraid that she would truly leave him. Never before had she tried to pack her things and leave or taken off her wedding rings. And it was the wake up call he had needed. Emilia may have been unfaithful in the years past. She may have done a lot of things, but Lucas was guilty of a lot of things too. The moment he had come back after leaving her to protect her and Ebbs from the hunters, he should have confronted her about the affairs. They should have discussed that then and there but instead he had ignored it, pulled away. Punished her without ever actually talking to her. He had run from their troubles too. Lucas was tired of running.
This time, Lucas was actually trying to work through this. Never had he felt the fear so real of almost losing Emilia and somehow, that fear made him want to forget all their old wounds. He knew, deep down, that they couldn’t ignore it forever. If they didn’t address their issues, they would be right back at the beginning again. They had to talk about the past and they had deal with wounds and the hurt, but he wanted to push that as far out as he could. By reopening the past, he felt that any progress they made now would be shattered and they wouldn’t be able to survive. They were still too fragile. Not to mention, they hadn’t actually discussed giving their marriage another try. Lucas had made up his mind to try and win her back, but they had never talked about it. Emilia was only in this house right now because of the agreement they had made to not tell their kids of their separation. That’s when it hit him and the expression on his face faltered for a moment. They were, technically, separated. Pretend as he may, as far away from reality as that felt, it was reality.
Pulling himself from his thoughts, he smiled back at Emilia, laughing along with her at the comment. It wasn’t time to dwell on those thoughts. Right now, he wanted to savor they chemistry they were having. The good day that this was. “We’re boys. As long as it tastes good, we don’t complain, and you’ve always been a great cook.” He praised, setting the cloth she had given him back on the counter. His gaze then moved between the onions and the meat and he thought about his options. Deciding not to test his luck with trying to prepare the meat correctly, Lucas grabbed and onion and tossed it in the air and catching it while he returned his eyes to Emilia. “I think you and I both know that I will probably mess up the meat, so I’ll take the onion.” He chuckled. It was refreshing to be himself around her again, to let his walls and his guard down. It had been so long since he was this way with her. Grabbing the knife and the cutting board, Lucas got to work on the onions, wiggling his sensitive nose as the smell of the onion immediately got to him. As he made the first cut, there was a soft crash that could be heard in the house followed by a series of yips and soft barks. It caused Lucas to groan and roll his eyes. “I swear, I still don’t understand how I let Arielle trick me into adopting all seven dogs. There hasn’t been a day that they don’t destroy something.” He sighed, but there was mirth in his eyes as he looked at Emilia with a smile on his lips and playfully bumped his hip against hers. “Don’t tell me you’ve grown a soft spot for them?”
Emilia didn’t want to think about their past. All the times they’d tried to make this work again. Especially the last try. For once, she just wanted to pretend everything was fine. That this time was different. She needed it even if it wouldn’t last. Her broken heart needed this break and she’d relish in it for as long as she possibly could. It was easier said than done since she didn’t even know what this was. Were they really just try to convince the kids? And if so, how come he’d bring her flowers when the kids weren’t even home? Confusion spread in her head and yet she didn’t dare to ask her own mate what he thought. Emilia had been through so much in the last twenty years and she wasn’t sure how much more she could take. She was scared of his answer because she knew what it could do to her if he told her it wasn’t what she wished for it to be. There were so many things between them, untold secrets and they became masters of ignoring their feelings, ignoring each other. They couldn’t go back to where they were only a few weeks ago. It would just start the never ending spiral again and neither of them would be happy. After everything they’d been put through by each other and others, they deserved happiness and Em would anything to see her mate happy again. She wanted to be that girl for him, even after all these years. If only there was a manual for it .
Despite the pain she felt upon his betrayal, suprisingly enough, it wasn’t so much the fact he actually had an affair - she knew it was going to happen sooner or later. It was just a matter of time. The worst part was to know she was the one holding him back from happiness and she never wanted to. Em just didn’t know how to live without her mate and she was acting selfish with him. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. She wasn’t supposed to be this way with him. The love of a mate was supposed to be the contrary of what she was giving him. It was meant to be unconditional and selfless. Something went wrong in her case or at least that was what she thought; or maybe it was just his mother’s statement echoing through her mind even after so many years. She caught herself looking at Lucas with the same pleading look she’d held for him when they were still kids, trying to figure out what happened. Trying to understand what was going on in his mind. Trying to read him but she failed miserably. They used to be one. Able to read each other, feel the others emotions and sense their feelings. They were capable of comunicating even without words. Where did it all go? Now she was looking at a version of her mate she never really got to know. She caught the change of his expression - it was as if she was looking right into a mirror.
And it was that reflection in his eyes that made the confusion worse. She didn’t understand how he could switch from one second to the next but she wanted to try and savor their new found chemistry. His compliment made it easy to shove the negative thoughts aside. She was a sucker for his endearings as much as he was for their dauthers pleas. “That’s all just a matter of the secret ingredient. My grandmother used to tell me and she was right.” Emilia teased with a soft chuckle leaving her lips as she watched him fight with the onions. “Let some cold water run over your hands. It’ll help the burning sensations in your eyes. “ Whatever made him act like this again around her, she was thankful for it. Em sighed at his comment about the puppies and smiled to herself. Not because of the soft spot she had for them, no it was because there was nothing cuter than her big bad alpha mate being defeated by the pleading of their little, innocent daughter. “Oh come on, like you’re surprised about it. We both knew the moment you told her about the six puppies that there was no way in hell she’d leave even one of them behind.” She gave him a meaningful look, brows lifted and eyes wide open, the kind of look he couldn’t miss even if he was focued on the onions. “I still think seven dogs are a lot for one house but... - to be honest, I would have been more disappointed if you came back with less. Puppies are puppies. I’m a mom, I have no choice but to have a soft spot for them.”
She defended herself and reached out for the cloth to throw it at him playfully in response to his hip bump. “Careful Mr. Morgan. Don’t mess with the woman who’s preparing your meat.”
