Rambles with Emily

Let's go for a stroll.

[emilywalks]

while the art of mindfulness doesn't really work with me, my therapist posed a really important question I really like to ask myself when I'm like "WOW EVERYTHING WILL FEEL THIS WAY FOREVER": where's the proof? RIGHT? Exactly. It's not like that question is going to make you feel a million times better right now, but when the pendulum's swinging and you feel like you're in a fog tunnel with no sense of time or space, you're still going to be hard-pressed to find proof that you will feel this way forever. Because you won't. Nothing lasts forever. Neither will this time. It can't! Even terrible presidencies can only last eight years. (And doesn't eight years seem longer than forever? Like, if I was like "You'll feel this way for eight years" you'd be like "Um, NOPE, that's fucking long, bitch -- think about what can happen in eight years. I could be an Oscar-winning actor by then." CORRECT.) So perspective.

Anne T. Donahue

[emilywalks]

2017 in Books

You Can't Touch my Hair, by Phoebe Robinson Swing Time, by Zadie Smith Homegoing, by Yaa Gyasi Soulmates, by Jessica Grose The Wangs vs. the World, by Jade Chang The Year of Yes, by Shonda Rhimes Hillbilly Elegy, by J.D. Vance I'll Give You the Sun, by Jandy Nelson Love That Dog, by Sharon Creech Scrappy Little Nobody, by Anna Kendrick Silver Sparrow, by Tayari Jones Truly Madly Guilty, by Liane Moriarty The Dollhouse, by Fiona Davis The Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood Trainwreck, by Sady Doyle Dare Me, by Megan Abbott Difficult Women, by Roxane Gay The Fever, by Megan Abbott American Housewife, by Helen Ellis Eating the Cheshire Cat, by Helen Ellis Born a Crime, by Trevor Noah Chemistry, by Weike Wang Hunger, by Roxane Gay The Dinner, by Herman Koch Rich People Problems, by Kevin Kwan Startup, by Doree Shafrir Feminist Fight Club, by Jessica Bennett Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give, by Ada Calhoun The Secret History of Wonder Women, by Jill Lepore The Heirs, by Susan Rieger Things We Lost in the Fire, by Mariana Enriquez Love & Gelato, by Jenna Evans Welch We Are Never Meeting in Real Life, by Samantha Irby The Underground Railroad, by Colson Whitehead The Bees, by Laline Paull The Hypnotist's Love Story, by Liane Moriarty Do Not Become Alarmed, by Maile Meloy Anything is Possible, by Elizabeth Strout All the Lives I want, by Alana Massey Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, by Gail Honeyman The Reminders, by Val Emmich The Go-Between, by Veronica Chambers The Art of Waiting, by Belle Boggs Approval Junkie, by Faith Salie The Wonder, by Emma Donoghue Universal Harvester, by John Darnielle, Eligible, by Curtis Sittenfeld Grace and the Fever, by Zan Romanoff What it Means When  a Man Falls from the Sky, by Lesley Nneka Arumah The Answers, by Catherine Lacey Perennials, by Mandy Berman The State of Affairs, by Esther Perel A Wrinkle in Time, by Madeline L'Engle The Phantom Tollbooth, by Norton Juster Lucky Boy, by Shanthi Sekaran The Boys in the Boat, by Daniel James Brown The Lifeboat, by Charlotte Rogan A Kind of Freedom, by Margaret Wilkerson Sexton

[emilywalks]

#tbt to kite flying in Cape Cod in August. I’ve been having a rough time lately, but as the weather gets colder and I just want to hibernate, I have to remind myself that none of this- the season, this garbage fire of a year, the personal struggles- is permanent. Reminder to treat ourselves as gently and as lovingly as we would a dear friend.

[emilywalks]

Free tote bag from the gym or excellent cat hiding place?

[emilywalks]

Gorgeous sky tonight

[emilywalks]

Listen to the people who love you and believe them." This is good advice because whilst I continue to be a bit of a disaster, my friends till love me -- this is because no one ever loved anyone because they were perfect, or ultra-successful, or got really good exam results. The people around me controversially continue to love me despite the thousand and one things that I have tried that have not worked.

Claire’s pep talk in Anne Donahue’s newsletter

[emilywalks]

Alexandra Petri nails it, as usual.

[humansofnewyork]

“I was on a leadership team in 5th grade. At the end of the year we were supposed to take a trip to Washington DC. We held fundraisers and everything. But when it was time to go, I didn’t have the identification papers to buy a plane ticket. So our teacher Ms. Rivera decided that we’d take a bus. Just so I could go too. That trip changed my life. It made me want to be a lawyer. And Ms. Rivera became one of the closest people in my life. She always kept in touch. She basically watched me grow up. One time in high school I got in a huge fight with my mom, and Ms. Rivera came and took me on a long car ride. I started to tell her everything. I told her about a recent break-up, and how I smoked weed, and ‘I did this,’ and ‘I did that.’ She just listened to everything. Then she started telling me about her life too. She told me that she’d been in an abusive relationship. I’d always thought her life was perfect because she was a guidance counselor. But she’d been through so much too. When it was came time to apply for college, Ms. Rivera was the one who helped me apply for DACA. She told me about the TheDream.us scholarship. I didn’t even want to apply. I was ready to give up. I’d just accepted that I’d always work in restaurants like my mom. But Ms. Rivera made me apply. She said: ‘What happened to that girl who wanted to be a lawyer?’ I learned that I got the scholarship in February. They’re paying for my entire college. Ms. Rivera was so proud of me. She kept saying: ‘I told you so.’”

[goodreadss]

Cultivate an understanding that life is long, that people both change and remain the same, that every last one of us will need to fuck up and be forgiven, that we’re all just walking and walking and walking and trying to find our way, that all roads lead eventually to the mountaintop.

Cheryl Strayed, Brave Enough (via goodreadss)

[photography-cnl]

October, crisp, misty, golden October, when the light is sweet and heavy.

Angela Carter, The Magic Toyshop (via thequotejournals)

[emilywalks]

New box!

[emilywalks]

Sleepy #caturday

[emilywalks]

Sweetest window cat

[emilywalks]

Some cuteness as an antidote to the shitty week we're having as a country. I know I shouldn't be surprised anymore- either by the president's cartoon villainy or his party's inexcusable cowardice- but I am. Anyway, hold your loved ones extra tight tonight, like Bodhi with his stuffed lion (a hand-me-down from our dear departed Raj).

[emilywalks]

Radical self love means you treat yourself the same way you would treat your favorite cousin, or even cranky old mealy-mouthed me. Watch the self-talk. You would probably use a sweeter tone of voice with the cousin or me, that you would with yourself. This will change the world.

Anne Lamott

[emilywalks]

Cape Cod vacay

[emilywalks]

I just can't stop laughing at this whole kerfluffle. I'm curious: what's the hourly rate she's calculating her time at? And if it's worth that much, can she not have an assistant pick her seat? Or buy a first class ticket? So many unanswered questions here.