Emma Says Stuff

My daughter Emma says the funniest things. So, I decided to keep a blog of her words for our family to remember--and to share with you. I'll try to keep it as fresh as Emma's wit.

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P for Potty Talk

Emma: "I call him Louis P."

Lena: "What did I say about potty talk?"

Emma: "No. No. Not Louis Pee. Louis P. P-P-P-Potter. Don't freak out."

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Elsa Mermaid Barbie

Emma: "I asked Santa for an Elsa Mermaid Barbie."

Me: "I'm not sure that they make an Elsa Mermaid Barbie. There are mermaid barbies, though (hint: we bought her one, thinking it'd be perfect)."

Emma: "Well, I asked Santa and he said, 'Sure!'"

Me: "But, I don't think the elves can make that (really hoping she'd give in)."

Emma: "Well, then Santa can make it himself."

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Pretty Stuff

Me (telling Emma a joke): "It's a joke, get it?!"

Emma: "I don't want to be funny anymore."

Me: "Why?"

Emma: "I just want to draw pretty pictures, and I don't want to draw funny stuff or copy what other people are doing. I just want to draw pretty stuff."

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All Spiders Go to Heaven

Lena: "We're going to flush the spider down the toilet so he can go to heaven."

Emma: "But, this water doesn't go to heaven..."

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Little Artist

Lena: "Emma, your picture is beautiful!"

Emma: "Yeah. That's because I am a talented artist!"

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Middle of the Floor

Me: "Emma, please remove that toy from the middle of the floor."

Emma: "Ok, but...see where that diamond is?"

(She points to the tile in the middle of the kitchen, and then goes and stands there...)

Emma: "This is the middle of the floor."

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Lena: "Emma, what is this?"  Emma: "This is what I call a star of David!"

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Bug Spray

Emma (while camping): "Spray my eyes, I don't want the bugs to drink my blood."

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Fire-Breathers

Emma (to her sisters): "Girls, no more talking, screaming or fire breathing!"

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American Jenny Fun Game

Emma (as I walk in the door from work): "Papa, do you and mama want to see your game I made for you?!"

Me: "Sure."

Emma (showing us the game): "This is called the American Jenny Fun Game."

[She starts by climbing on the upside down laundry basket and working her way across an obstacle course which includes pillows, blankets, our bed, and more...]

Emma: "First, you start here. Then you go here, and here, and skip to here. Then you go like this. And, you finish here."

Me: "What are the rules?"

Emma: "Oh yeah, they change..."

Lena (to me): "This reminds me of the True American game from New Girl, except there's no drinking."

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Nocturnal

(On the way home tonight...)

Me: "It's getting dark."

Emma: "We're nocturnal!"

Elena: "Well...ok....Do you know what it's called when you're awake during the day?"

Emma: "Diturnal."

Me: "Hmm...you're one smart cookie, Emma."

Emma: "That's because I learned it on TV!"

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Foot Collector

Me: "Emma, stop picking up the puzzle pieces with your toes."

Emma: "But, I'm practicing my handy dandy foot collector!"