🥀

Is that Sappho ur reading? annoying lil emo girl/PHILA

[1anonyymous1]

god i love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home

[emokimk]

unfortunately you weren’t as excited about me as I was about you.

[thatbitchsimone]

[emokimk]

I can’t wait for the weekend

I want to go out

I want to drink

I want to do drugs w my friends

I want to people watch with my friends at emo night on saturday

I want to chain smoke outside KFN

I want to feel at ease

I want to feel at peace

maybe there’s a better outlet

maybe I shouldn’t do this

maybe I shouldn’t be looking forward to this

but this is what I want

but this is the only way i’ll ever believe people like me

but this is my escape

[emokimk]

every time you leave I rip holes into my skin

[emokimk]

all i’ve ever wanted was someone to love me as soon as they saw me

I want someone to see me and get butterflies from day one

I want to be someone’s first something

i’ll never be first

i’ll never be number one

I crave for someone possessive

I crave for someone to be obsessed

I crave for someone who’s never felt this way for anyone except for me

I want to feel special

I want to be loved

but i’ll always be used

and maybe i’d rather be used than to feel special and loved because i’m scared

because no one will feel that way with me

[emokimk]

my life lately in pictures, esp I lost SO much weight. I was blonde for a lil and i miss it.

[emokimk]

you called me

I clenched my fists

I stopped my tears

I counted the rings before I decided to pick up

as soon as i picked up, you asked me if I was ok, a stupid question nonetheless

“ok next question”

you told me about what’s been going on, Em told me about the teeth problems, but I couldn’t tell you she knows about whatever is going on

“i’m free tomorrow, let me call you on your break, I just wanted to hear your voice and let you know we can talk then”

it was silent, I asked why does it feel like he’s making an appointment with me? he didn’t say.

he probably wants me to be prepared or something or another

he knows my schedule, I know his, i’m not sure why he did this 

it was simple and quiet.

we hung up and we’ll never have sex played by leith ross:

“Depollute me, pretty baby

Suck the rot right out of my bloodstream

Oh, dilute me, gentle angel

Water down what I call being grateful

… Oh, you kissed me just to kiss me

Not to take me home

It was simple, it was sweetness

It was good to know

… You look perfect, you look different

I don't wonder about your indifference

If I said you could never touch me

You'd come over and say I looked lovely

… Oh, you kissed me just to kiss me

Not to make me cry

It was simple, you are sweetness

Let's just sit a while

… Depollute me, gentle angel

And I'll feel the sickness less and less

Come and kiss me, pretty baby

Like we'll never have sex”

it’s a song that reminds me of you.

you never suspected anything else or wanted anything other than to just kiss me.

my delusion is coming back of you over a 15 minute phone call

and I hate it

[emokimk]

if I would i’d go back to the first time you kissed me and rip your hands that you gently placed around my neck

i’d knock you down before you picked me up because of our height difference and you liked when I wrapped my legs around you

you told me you would leave

you told me you loved me

you told me you might always love me

you told me you’re jealous of any and every man that came before and after you

I told you there wouldn’t be anyone after you, you could use me for all I care as long as I got to be with you

I told you that you were my favorite person, we shared our mutual love for mystery science theater, they might be giants, you got my homestar references and other weird niche things/bands

we used to stare at each other at your work till one of us cracked up and for some reason I thought those moments were so cute - i’d text you to tell you to stop staring at me, you’d say you couldn’t help it.

I miss watching you get jealous, denying it, then admitting to it later that night. I miss making faces at you every time a guy came up to me and you walking by and saying “none of these guys even stand a chance with your little ass”

our mutual friend said she could tell you loved me when she asked how I was and the reaction on your face. she said when you talk about me you’re so loving and gentle - it’s hard to hide that when you love someone.

I miss you, there’s things that happen that I know only we’d find funny.

I miss you, our inside jokes still make me cry from laughing and no one would probably find them as funny as we do.

All of this was an illusion

it was never real

it was something you planted in my head that we had, something that wasn’t steady, something that you spoon fed me for 3 years

what happened when you yelled at me infront of people? when you made me cry and told me it wasn’t a big deal and I sat outside the bar in the rain crying to myself?

what happened when I got punched by the guy and I called you only for you to hang up on me?

what happened when those times you promised me things and it crumbled in my face and you acted like they never happened?

what happens now?

what happens when Ive had enough? when ive been crying myself to sleep since september?

what happens when I stop catering to you?

what happens when the person I created in my head goes away for good and I realized what i’m left with?

i’m left with someone who I wanted you to be, that person in the beginning that you painted yourself to be.

that person still exists in my head, and I want them gone.

you are not my perfect match

I am not your person

[emokimk]

All I want in life is to be someone’s everything

[kakuusei]

Good night, Odango.

[emokimk]

I remember the time I thought I met the love of my life.

It was mid August 2015

This is hardcore just ended

I met a boy who I knew for 4 years online, irl

I remember thinking he was so cute

I remember thinking he was the one

He moved here

I moved in

We started a life together

We talked about marriage

How many kids we’d have

Where we’d eventually end up

Eventually we ended up breaking up

He told me he didn’t love me anymore

I remember the time I thought I met the love of my life

It was at a turnstile show

He awkwardly said hi to me

I told my friend to tell him I thought he was cute

We talked and talked and talked

I’d watch him get high in his basement

I’d sleep over for days on end

I’d make him watch KUWTK with me

We’d rap kanye west together

We’d say we were kanye and Kim

We’d watch bad horror movies and had a lot of sex

He told me I was his first love

I left him

I wasnt mentally okay for him

He deserved better

I miss him

He was my bestfriend

He told me he’d always love me

I remember the time I thought I met the love of my life

It was at an emo night

I had a friend go up to him

He was nerdy and shy

Something about him made me like him

I remember staying up till 5 am on our first date

I took him to my favorite spots in China town

I would go to his West philly apartment every weekend

We’d go on adventures

I swore I was happy

I swore he was the one

We moved in

My mental health got worse

We weren’t meant to be

He told me he didn’t love me anymore

I don’t remember when I met the love of my life

Because I haven’t met him yet

And that’s okay

[thecommonchick]

OMG! 😂

[discreetwithabellyring-deactiva]

The plane while I suck his dick in the bathroom:

[futureblackwakandan-deactivated]

STOP Asgdhdkkskfkff

[jckgnn]

Can u believe there are guys that don’t eat girls out like damn you weak af

[60westfwy-deactivated20190311]

Pathetic

[flyartproductions]

my ghost still haunt ya

TONYA, BROCKHAMPTON // Room in Brooklyn, Edward Hopper (1932)

[brockhamptonbaby]

[emokimk]

I think you're looking better than you ever have. Whatever you're doing, keep on keepin on. Those blue eyes will forever be burned into the stem of my brain, head up. smile. breathe. <3

Thank??? U????