I went to a church group thing tonight when im not even a Christian. One of my closest friends asked me if I wanted to join her because she could see how upset I was these days and she wanted me to distract myself and have a good time. And I did, I had fun..plenty of fun. But at the same time I feel like I cant be their friends...I have so much fun around them but I don't hold the same beliefs...or any really. And that sets me apart from them so much, they are all so passionate about a topic that I frankly find ridiculous. That is just a personal preference of course and their beliefs do not bother me at all. It's just the basis of why we were there tonight. I had fun because I was mucking around and talking to new people, I had fun because I could let go a little and feel like people actually wanted me around. They had fun because they were with their church friends, because of god. Beliefs had nothing to do with why I enjoyed the night. If anything, the moments where someone would start preaching to me about how I should surrender myself to god and the moment we hugged and prayed, made me feel uncomfortable, made me feel like I wanted to leave. If I had met these people under different circumstances, maybe more casual circumstances, it would have been workable. But not this. I cant pretend to believe in things that I do not believe in at all.
