the self care industry will sell you face masks and teas and whatnot so i'm here to remind you not to forget the most important self care activity which is masturbation
the way you write carmy is so perfect i’m amazed every time 😭😭 you have his mannerisms down so well
ohh wow thank you thank you so much this is the best compliment ever!! sometimes i would start to make him yap & would have to delete it all and lock in. but i love him so bad he’s our king of few words😌
this is the second post for this chapter because of tumblr's block limit. read the first one here
“this one?” she holds up a silky black fabric, “or…this one?” it looks the same, but red.
he stares at the options blankly for a second.
“i, uh…the red one?” he answers cluelessly. either way he’s gonna wanna rip it off of her the second she puts it on.
she gives him a look to elaborate.
“i don’t know,” he sighs, “you could wear a garbage bag to dinner and look good.”
“oh, that would be cute,” she rolls her eyes, setting the options back down on the bed.
it was one of those rare days where carmen had taken off work to relax, sprawled out on her bed—shirtless with unruly curls.
“try ‘em on for me,” he suggests, folding his arms behind his head.
her eyes dart to the bulge of his biceps, his armpit hair, having absolutely no idea why the sight is so enticing.
“mkay,” she smiles, pulling the hem of her borrowed shirt up over her head, revealing nothing besides panties underneath.
“fuck,” he groans, enunciating the word sharply, graciously taking in the sight in front of him. “come over here.”
this puts a grin on her face. no matter how many times she does it, he always has the same reaction. she begins to saunter over to his side of the bed, watching how he tilts his chin up like he’s expecting a kiss.
“i could just wear this tonight,” she suggests, trailing her finger over his jaw.
he gives a hum of approval. “except we wouldn’t leave the house,” caressing her hip gently.
“we could have a night in,” she suggests. he shakes his head.
“we always do. i wanna take you out.”
“yeah?” she leans in, placing a gentle kiss to his lips, “you gonna wine and dine me?”
“mhm. give me a real kiss.”
she giggles and leans back in again, giving him another soft, barely-there peck before pulling away again. he tightens his jaw and snaps the band of her panties, making her release a small yelp.
“more,” he demands.
“so needy,” she teases, tracing her finger over his lip, catching the bottom one and pushing it down to show his teeth. she loves using his own words against him.
“fuck off,” he laughs, turning his head away.
“i’ll give you a real one on our date.”
“i have to wait that long?”
“mhm,” she picks up the black dress and walks in front of the mirror, holding it in front of her body, “you can work on your self restraint.”
“i have plenty of self restraint,” he argues, sitting up onto his forearms.
“yeah right,” she slips into the fabric and threads her arms through the straps.
“oh, and you do? you came onto me within the first month of living here.”
“i would’ve done it earlier if you were home more often,” she admits unashamedly. “what do you think? cute?” turning so he could see the front of the dress.
“you-,” he stops in his tracks, eyes flickering over the way the fabric hugs her figure, “i wouldn’t say cute.” hot is more fitting, “but yeah, i like it.”
she rolls her eyes, and slips the straps back down her shoulders.
“but y’know that means you have less self restraint than me, right?” he asks, revisiting the disagreement, “because i was gonna keep it…professional.”
“professional, my ass. i saw the way you would look at me when i first moved in.”
“wh-how would i look at you?”
“how you’re looking at me right now.”
oh. his eyes snap back up to her face, having been caught red handed. it’s not his fault she looks good. and after all, he is just a man.
she turns away from him and shimmies the dress down her hips.
“okay. fine,” he concedes, craning his neck to watch her breasts in the mirror, “but i did restrain myself.”
“please,” she scoffs, “i had you wrapped around my finger the second i got here.” she turns back to him, and watches his eyes flicker down her body, then back up.
he takes a moment to respond, a look of contemplation on his face. she wasn’t wrong, at all. but he still felt the need to contest.
“tell you what,” he sits up, “we can put it to the test.”
she gives him a questioning look, tilting her head to the side.
“no touching. no kissing…first one to break loses.” he has a smug smirk on his face.
“you’re not funny,” she says, unamused.
“i’m being serious. you say i don’t have restraint, but i know you don’t.”
“you’re gonna eat those words. i’m gonna kick your ass at this game,” she retorts.
“yeah?”
“mhm. winner gets head.”
“fine by me,” he nods. either way, he’ll win.
“i’m still gonna hold your hand tonight, though.” she pouts.
“yeah. we’ll just keep it uh…PG.”
she snorts out a laugh at this. “PG?”
“mhm.” he nods. “family friendly.”
“okay. well get out of my room then. cause i kind of wanna pounce on you.”
carmen lets out a soft laugh. this was going to be an easy game.
-
…or so he thought.
up until the moment she came down the stairs in that fucking red dress.
it hugs her curves like a glove, dawning dainty straps and a plunging neckline. his brain actually stutters for a moment watching her descend the stairs, just silently staring at her with eyes wide as saucers.
a grin forms on the girl’s face at his stunned expression. she put the dress on expecting a reaction, but wasn’t expecting speechless.
“jesus christ,” is the first thing that exits his mouth, and it comes out strained.
“you like it?” she asks, giving a slow turn so he could admire it at every angle.
“it’s-yeah…you look…amazing.”
“bet you wanna touch, huh?” she teases with a grin on her face.
“i’m-yeah. fuck yeah, i do.” he exhales, standing from the couch, walking closer to her.
“well, you can,” she reaches forward to straighten out his suit jacket, “if you keep it PG.”
he lets out a small chuckle at this, placing a hand on her hip, stroking his thumb against her. he studies her face. the way she’s done her makeup is classy and light. she’s wearing a red lipstick that makes him wonder what it would look like smeared across her face.
“what’s up with your tie?” she asks, breaking him out of his trance. she’s furrowing her brows at the knot.
“oh, i, uh…i can’t really tie one,” he admits bashfully. “i’ll do it for you,” she gives him a soft smile and reaches to undo the knot.
the way her fingers brush against his neck leaves his skin feeling hot.
like most things between them recently, it feels very domestic, having her tie his tie. he can’t stop staring at her as she does it, either, transfixed with the way she’s all dolled up for him.
“there,” she loops the knot, and pushes it up to tighten, “very handsome.” her hand comes to the side of his face, and she strokes her thumb over his jaw. the way their eyes lock feel more intimate than carmen expects, feeling as if he’s baring his soul under her gaze. he wants to kiss her so bad, inwardly cursing his juvenile challenge he posed hours ago. cursing the fantasies that flood his mind of keeping her at home—providing for her, having her tie his ties and pack his lunches and have his babies. cursing the cruel way in which the world seems to rip away all that brings him joy.
“you, uh…ready to go?” he clears his throat, pulling away from her, turning his head to hide a pained expression.
“yeah. let me just grab my wallet.”
“leave it,” he commands, “you won’t need it.”
a slight look of surprise forms on her face, morphing into a smile as the implication seeps in.
“just wait for a second,” she turns to walk to the stairs, “it’s on my nightstand.”
carmen grabs her wrist with a “hey,” stopping the girl in her tracks.
“what did i just say?” he chides lowly. “leave it. let’s go.”
she turns to face him, taking in his serious expression. stern and handsome—it makes her want to push. but she figures she can save it for later, after she wins.
“yes sir,” she responds, gazing up at him endearingly.
he’s almost a little surprised at her obedience. feels himself puff up a little at the name.
without another word, he opens the door and offers his arm. she takes it happily.
-
the entire date ends up being a lot fancier than she ever would have expected.
carmen had explained to her, as they rode in the back of the private car he had ordered, that he wanted to make tonight really special. partially to make up for the fact that he hadn’t been gentlemanly enough to take her out on a proper date before tonight, but mostly just because he wanted to spoil her with some good food before she leaves.
“now, uh…i know you said you didn’t wanna go to my restaurant. but i was thinking we could just stop in so you could see it.”
“n-no, i do wanna go,” she asserts quickly, “i’d love to see it. i was just a little…embarrassed.”
he lets out a small chuckle at this.
“you don’t need to be. i’ll get us a private table and everything.” he nods, reaching over to rest a hand on her thigh. “no one will bother us.”
“yeah?” it sounds promising.
“yeah, baby. i’ll take care of it.”
he pulls out his phone to make a call.
it makes her stomach flutter a little bit.
when they arrive, she’s a bit taken aback by the bear. she already knew it was a nice place—though she wasn’t expecting the type of michelin star dining that leaves people speechless.
they’re seated the moment they walk in, and escorted to a table near the back of the restaurant, slightly hidden by the thick foliage of a potted plant.
carmen pulls her chair out for her, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek before sitting down across from her.
“this is…it’s beautiful in here, carm.”
“yeah?” he can’t help the boost her words give him, looking around a bit, “you think so?”
“it’s incredible,” she nods, “i had no idea it would be so fancy.”
he lets out a small chuckle at this, placing his hand atop hers. he goes to thank her, but is interrupted by the greeting of their waitress.
the girl smiles in reply, feeling bad for the clearly nervous employee that has to serve the big boss.
they order signature cocktails that cost so much the prices aren’t even listed on the menu. she supposes this follows the premise that if you have to ask for the price of something, you can’t afford it. it makes her grateful for her wallet left atop the nightstand.
“what’s the first thing you’re gonna do when you’re back home?” he asks, taking a sip of the old fashioned he had ordered. it’s easier to talk about when he’s not thinking about how soon it’ll be a reality.
“go to the beach,” she responds quietly, after a moment, “and get in the water. even if it’s freezing cold.”
“yeah?” a smile forms on his face at the mental image.
“yeah, i uh…like chicago. but i really do miss home. and i miss my friends.”
“totally.” he gives her a knowing nod.
“carmy, do you-” she sighs, fidgeting with her ring, “can i call you? when i’m back?”
“you fuckin’ better.” he responds quickly.
the girl smiles at the sternness of his response, and reaches out to touch his hand.
“okay,” she nods, “good. cause i’m gonna miss you.”
“yeah, it’s…it’s not gonna be easy.” understatement of the year. “it’ll work out though. i’ll come visit you or somethin’.”
and despite the weight of the circumstances, she smiles at this, and brings his hand up to her lips, placing a slow, tender kiss to the side of it. just wanting to show her appreciation. “you’d like it, i think. it’s really different from here.”
“yeah?”
“mhm. and my friends would freak meeting you.”
“why’s that?” he raises his eyebrows.
“cause i mean, look at you. i’d probably have to fight them off.”
carmen lets out a soft laugh at this, shaking his head in disbelief. “y’know, i’ve thought the same thing about you? just wanna keep you to myself.”
she smiles, and moves from kissing his hand to kissing his fingers.
carmen rests his thumb on her cheek, tightening his jaw as she moves onto his middle finger. how she places another kiss, pressing her lips to him, holding his wrist gently and looking up at him through her eyelashes.
the sight is kind of erotic.
“you, uh…” he clears his throat, shuffling forward in his seat, “you giving up on our game?”
“no,” she has this innocent look on her face, like she doesn’t know exactly what she’s doing, “this is PG.” carmy feels the immense urge to shove his fingers in her mouth and make her suck.
“nothing about that is… stop,” he grunts as she softly bites him. it’s clear that she’s trying to get him to fold. and she’s right on track so far.
“fine. you’re no fun.” she pouts, releasing his hand and sitting straight.
“i’m not gonna lose to you.”
“yes you are,” she smiles, resting her chin in her hand.
his eyes flicker down to the strain of her breasts against the neckline of the dress. maybe he is.
“nah.” he shakes his head. “no way.”
her gaze roams over him, and she bites at her lip.
“well i might. you look so slutty in that suit.”
“i-…what?”
“you heard me.”
“i look…slutty?” there’s a perplexed expression on his face.
“super slutty. you’re so getting it when we’re home.”
“jesus,” he exhales a laugh, averting his eyes from her face, “you drunk off that one cocktail?”
“no!” she smiles, rolling her eyes. “i just thought you’d wanna know. i can't stop looking at you. you’re giving me dirty thoughts.”
he meets her eyes again with a smile, and puts his hand flat on the table, reaching out for her. when she gives him her hand, he glances at the red nail polish adorning her fingers.
“i, uh… i can't stop looking at you either.” he runs his thumb over her skin. “i’m…crazy about you. you know that, right?”
“i know,” she purrs, softly raking her nails over his skin softly, looking at him through her eyelashes.
it him feel a little feral. he takes a deep breath in through his nose.
“so, you can give up on this stupid challenge already?” his tone is low.
“no way,” she pouts, “i want my prize.”
“yeah?”
“yeah. and don’t forget this was your idea in the first place.”
he goes to defend himself when he’s cut off by a familiar chuckle.
“well, shit, welcome back!”
the girl freezes, staring straight ahead at carmen. the voice is easily recognizable. she hesitantly turns her head to put the name to a face.
“richie,” carmen greets unenthusiastically, giving him a small nod.
“you just can’t get enough of us or what?” richie chuckles, glancing at the girl quickly. he does kind of a double take, snapping his head back to her with wide eyes.
she sheepishly meets his gaze, trying to not crumble under the intense look he’s giving her.
“this is, uh…” carmen narrows his eyes at the man, “this is my girlfriend, -” he introduces her name.
richie blinks slowly, like he’s trying to process, repeating her name. testing how it feels in his mouth.
“uh, nice to-…nice to meet you. i’m richie.” he thrusts his hand forward.
“nice to meet you, richie,” she smiles, giving him a gentle shake. this is the most intense eye contact she’s experienced in a while. the silence is tense, and he’s staring at her with this perplexed admiration.
“you’re…wow,” richie chuckes, “do you have an older sister or something?”
“jesus christ, richie! go fuck off back to the front you asshole,” carmen snaps, face growing slightly red. “hey, i’m sorry about him,” richie apologizes to the girl, “he forgets that this is a nice establishment where we don’t use crass language.” his eyebrows are raised as he smooths his jacket.
she opens her mouth to respond, but carmy’s scolding cuts her off, snapping at the man to go do his job and “stop fucking around”.
“hey, i just wanted to come introduce myself to your lovely date,” richie puts his hands up in defense, “can i get you anything else, sweetheart?” he asks the girl, “you want another one of those?” pointing to her cocktail.
“maybe after dinner, thank you,” she responds politely.
“ahh okay, i like the manners! you could teach your little boyfriend over here a thing or two.”
the man has a goofy charm about him, and although carmen is getting more irate by the second, she’s amused.
“i’m trying. but he’s kind of stubborn.” her eyes flicker over to carmen, giving him a playful smile. his frown softens at this.
“ha! don’t i know it! last week he-”
“richie,” carmy interrupts, “can you go check on our order?”
“carm,” the girl groans. they didn’t place their order yet. he gives her a pleading look to just go along with it.
and whether it’s the use of his nickname or the intonation of her voice, this look of recognition washes over richie’s face and his eyes widen. he looks at carmy, then back at her. a laugh bubbles out, and he slaps a hand over his mouth, clearing this throat. his face is red.
the girl almost dies of embarrassment on the spot, knowing exactly which dots are connecting in his head.
“okay! yeah. well. nice meeting you. i’m just gonna…” he gestures behind him, backing away with a stifled grin on his face.
when she looks back at carmen, his head is in his hand and his eyes are tightly shut. when richie is out of sight and he finally looks back up to her, there’s a pained looked on his face.
“i’m-…jesus christ, i'm sorry about that.” he exhales.
the girl feels dumbfounded by the situation, and doesn’t know what to say.
she tries to keep it in, but bursts into giggles. there’s a brief look of surprise on the man’s face which forms into a small smile. he’s giving her the kind of bewildered look that says “i’m glad you found that funny because i was about 3 seconds away from getting physical”.
she rests her head in her hand, trying to take deep breaths and stop her laughing. it doesn’t really work.
carmy’s expression of bewilderment softens and he begins to grin watching her.
she finally gets control over herself and straightens, huge smile on her red face, wiping a stray tear from her eye with a big sigh.
carmen thinks it’s probably the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. and there’s this sharp pain in his chest that feels like love but also like loss. like he’s discovered this secret to life that’s about to be stolen and never given back.
his thoughts are interrupted by their waitress setting plates down in front of them. she introduces the dish, and tells them that chef sydney plated it specially for them.
the girl has a big smile on her face, as she raves about how nice everything is, but carmy can’t help but feel a bit sad for the rest of the night.
-
they return home hand in hand. the chill november air smells crisp like winter. leaves in the gutters rustle with the gentle breeze.
as they walk from the car, she wraps her arm around his and leans in, resting her head on him for a moment.
he turns his head and smiles at her.
“i don’t know if i ever told you this…but uh,” he glances over her face, “you’re really beautiful.”
“thank you, carmy” her soft smile grows, “i think you have told me.”
“not enough.” he’s kind of in a trance, pace slowing as he watches her face. she giggles and pulls him forward to the entrance.
the doorman of their building lets the two in, giving a small smile watching the young lovers laugh, that gleam of infatuation shining bright over their faces.
as the elevator doors close, and she turns to face him, their laughs slowly cease. they stare at each other intently.
“stop doin’ that” he mutters lowly.
“doing what?”
“you keep looking at my lips.”
“i really want to kiss you.” she bites at her lip, eyes fluttering as she keeps staring.
carmy exhales harshly at this, clenching his fists to keep his hands to himself.
she leans forward, bringing her face closer to his. he smells so fucking good, looks so handsome in his suit, she’s tempted to just tear him apart with her teeth.
“do it,” he challenges quietly, their lips so close.
she almost gives up on the challenge, leaning just a little closer, then-
ding
saved by the bell, literally. the elevator doors open to their floor.
she gasps softly at the noise, pulling away from him, face feeling hot, core tingling.
she had complained earlier, but this challenge is fun.
they hurriedly make their way to the door of their unit.
the girl stumbles in her heels and almost face plants, but carmy catches her, wrapping an arm around her waist and preventing her from falling.
without warning, he hoists her up, trying to throw her over his shoulder.
“carmy!” she yelps, “put me down!” secretly hoping he doesn’t.
he hoists her up some more, and she folds over his shoulder, dangling upside down, laughing harder than she has in a long time.
“you’re too clumsy,” he teases, hand securely gripping onto the back of her thigh, walking them the last 20 feet to their door. with his free hand he retrieves his keys, unlocks the door and nudges it open.
he only puts her down once the door is closed behind him, and she wobbles on her feet when he does so, gripping onto his arms for stability.
her face is rosy from the blood rushing to her head, and she has a girlish smile on her face as she looks up at him.
“you’re strong.”
he just smiles softly, gazing down at her.
“can you make me another one of those moscow mules?”
“yes, chef!” she returns, kicking off her heels and walking towards the kitchen.
he runs a hand through his hair, sighing longingly, and follows, sitting on one of the barstools opposite the counter where she stands.
“put on some music?” she asks softly, turning on the kitchen speaker.
“what do you want me to play?” he opens his bluetooth and connects.
“i dunno. something romantic.” the girl has a sweet smile on her face, measuring out the vodka for his drink.
he shuffles an oldies playlist—the songs from the 1940s/1950s that sound like real love. like loving and being loved unconditionally. like settling down and coming home to each other every day.
“good choice,” she compliments, cracking open a ginger beer. “i love this kind of music.” a frank sinatra song plays softly.
“me too. it’s kind of nostalgic.” he thinks of the old black and white movies he would watch with his mom.
“here,” she hands him the cold drink, garnished with mint and lime.
“thank you,” he has a small smile on his face, taking a sip. it’s bubbly and refreshing.
she clicks the speaker up a few notches, and hums along, putting away all of the drink materials.
carmen loves the sound of it.
the girl saunters over to him and perches herself on his lap, hand circling behind his neck.
his arm wraps around her back as she steals his drink to take a sip.
“good, huh?” he praises, dragging his thumb along the fabric of her dress.
“it’s okay,” she sets the cup down, “not as good as the michelin star cocktail i had earlier.”
“i disagree.”
“oh really?” she has this smile of disbelief.
“mhm. this could be award winning, easily.”
“you’re just saying that.”
“no. m’serious.” his hand rests on her knee, and he rubs it along her leg softly.
she just smiles at this, and leans in to pepper kisses along his cheek and jaw. the first song fades into the next.
“wanna dance?” she smiles against his skin.
“dance?”
“yeah. slow dance with me.”
“i, uh… i don’t know how.”
“what do you mean you don’t know how?” she giggles, standing up from his lap. “come here.”
he slowly joins her in the living room, a bashful expression on his face. he’s never been able to dance. it’s always made him feel stupid. but even so, he approaches.
this love of mine goes on and on.
she takes his hand and gently puts one on her waist, holding the other. she loops her other arm around his neck. carmy finds his nerves are almost immediately eased.
they sway gently. the light is low and an ella fitzgerald song resonates through the room. it’s slow, and kind of sad. but still romantic.
though life is empty since you’ve been gone.
carmen closes his eyes and rests his forehead on hers, suddenly feeling overwhelmingly sentimental.
his arms wrap around her further, and he pulls her closer. the music has an old fashioned grainy sound to it that makes it sound sweet.
she leans in to kiss his neck, chest pressed flush against his. she feels a surge of warmth throughout her chest. feeling grateful. relishing the moment. resting her head against him.
the two just sway gently, taking light steps ever so often.
it almost felt as if they were playing pretend—both dressed in their nicest clothes, tipsy off of $20 cocktails, swaying to the romantic music. pretending the end isn’t in sight.
i ask the sun and the moon. the stars that shine.
he pulls back to get another look at her face. tries to ignore the way his throat tightens.
what’s to become of it, this love of mine?
the girl’s gaze is longingly fixed on his handsome face.
“i really did have a wonderful time tonight,” she whispers.
he gives her a smile, but it looks kind of sad.
“i’m glad.”
“i don’t really know how to say this, but…” she drops his hand and wraps both arms around his neck, getting a bit closer, “i…i’m really happy i met you.”
he releases the breath he didn’t realize he was holding, eyes flickering over her face. he really wants to kiss her.
“i-…you know i’m never gonna be able to stop thinking about you?”
“i know, carm. i won’t either.” she hates how sad he looks. “but it’ll get easier, yeah?”
“yeah.” it’s gotta be the biggest lie he’s ever told someone.
“i love you, you know?” her confession comes as a whisper.
“i know, baby,” his tone is low, and he tightens his grip on her hips, like he’s afraid of her disappearing, “i love you too.”
what’s to become of it, this love of mine?
the song fades out slowly, and for some reason the music stops all together. the silence is thick, and the two lovers stare at each other with a palpable tension.
her eyes dart down to his lips.
“i um…i think i give up.” she whispers.
his brows furrow. before he can ask her what she means, the girl leans in and presses a firm, sweet kiss to his lips. and as innocent as the gesture is, it makes the air feel hot. makes it feel heavy. gives him goosebumps all over his arms. makes him groan.
almost instantly, carmen grabs the back of her head and pulls her against his lips, desperate to get more. he really does try to match her slow pace but he just needs it. he slips his tongue into her mouth, not even realizing how bad he needs it until he tastes her.
the girl reciprocates for a moment, a small smile forming at the unexpected ferocity. her hands come to his chest and she eases herself away from him, feeling him chase her lips.
“slow down,” she teases, helping to alleviate some of his hunger with a gentle kiss, a small grin on her face.
she’s really good at using his words against him, he thinks to himself.
“you look pretty,” the girl says in a low tone, eyes raking over the lipstick she’s left smudged over his pouty, swollen lips. slutty is probably the more accurate term.
“pr-…what?” his brain stutters.
the girl swipes her thumb over his lips and shows him the red stain, before leaning forward to pepper gentle kisses along his cheek, jaw, down to his neck.
it surprises carmen when she keeps moving downwards, threading her fingers into his tie and loosening the knot, kissing and nipping at every inch of skin she can find. she moves eagerly, but gently—really savoring the way he tenses and shudders from the light touches. this time feeling as if she holds the power.
the girl drops to her knees, smiling up at his look of wide-eyed shock as she fumbles with the buckle of his belt.
“w-what are you doing?” he rasps, clearing his throat.
“what do you mean?” she’s looking up at him innocently, slowly undoing his button and zipper.
“you, uh…you don’t have to.” he’s fixated on how pretty she looks down on her knees for him, “i know we made that bet, but if you don’t want to,-”
she pulls his briefs down to expose his cock and cuts him off with a breathy moan. it springs from confinement, tip red and throbbing. the sight alone is enough to send heat pooling between her legs, and she hungrily dives forward to lick a single stripe up the side of it.
carmen lets out a low groan, still surprised by how enthusiastically she dove to her knees—her droopy eyes, the satisfied grin on her face looking up at him—it’s as if she didn’t even care about the challenge. like it’s prize enough just to please him.
the girl softly grips his cock, leaning in and planting kisses teasingly along the length of it. making her way to the tip. it twitches in her hand. she flattens her tongue against the head of his cock and just pauses there for a second, looking up at his twisted brows and red cheeks with an amused expression. trying to gauge him.
carmen intently watches her—pink tongue, manicured nails, looking up at him through her lashes. he lets out a guttural groan when she swirls her tongue around the head of his cock.
the girl takes a breath and dives forward to take him into her mouth.
“jesus.” his hand comes to card through her hair, pushing it out of her way as she hungrily takes him in.
he’s thick and heavy in her mouth. she gives a few bobs of her head, coating him in her saliva, trying to find what makes him tick. tasting his distinct flavor and pressing her thighs together to try and chase some relief.
“fuck, that’s-,” he exhales sharply as she moves her head up and down the length of his shaft, saliva coating his skin, beginning to stick to his pubic hair, “that’s good. keep doin’ that.” it’s more of a plea than a command.
she doesn’t, though, instead easing her mouth from his cock, watching as a string of spit connects them as she pulls back with a soft giggle.
he knows he’s completely fucked for her when his erection twitches at the noise. he rakes his eyes over her flushed face and chest. the way her lipstick is smudged across her spit-glossed lips.
“keep doing what?” she asks teasingly.
“you-…stop fuckin’ playing with me,” he rasps exasperatedly.
the girl smiles at his tone, and leans forward to give gentle kitten-like licks over his throbbing head.
“m’not-” a kiss, “playing with you, carmy,” another kiss, “i’m just…enjoying myself.” she gently jerks the length of him, opening her mouth, bumping him against her tongue with every few strokes. she finds herself getting aroused trying to push his buttons like this.
“you’re-mmh…you’re gonna fuckin’ get it if you don’t stop.”
“you want me to stop?” she asks sweetly, “okay.” she drops her hand and sits back on her heels, watching as his erection bobs up and down.
carmen’s gaze darkens, jaw clenched.
“you-…” he scoffs, “i can see right through what you’re doing.”
“oh yeah?” she tests, “what am i doing?”
“you’re trying to get me to get rough with you.”
bingo. she kind of wants a face fucking.
“no i’m not.” the girl bites at her lip unconvincingly.
“yes you are. and i'm not going to.”
“wha-why?” she pouts, scooting closer to him. his cock brushes against her cheek.
“not like this. i don’t wanna hurt you.” he reaches forward to brush a piece of hair behind her ear, letting his hand trail over her face.
“you won’t,” she whines, eyes darting between his face and his raging erection. it’s big, so maybe he will. but she doesn’t care. “i can take it.”
“you like to argue,” he grumbles, taking ahold of her face, squeezing her cheeks together slightly. she looks so cute like this.
“carm,” she whines, “i can take it. promise i can. please?”
carmen releases her face, trailing his hand behind her head and gripping her hair. with his other hand he fists his cock and gently eases it forward, rubbing the tip against her slick, pouty lips.
“open,” his tone is low, and he slowly pushes himself into her mouth when she complies. he goes until he feels restriction, and pulls back.
the girl lets out a sound of disagreement at this.
“hey.” carmen chides firmly, “you’re gonna take what i fuckin’ give you.” he watches the way her eyelids flutter at his stern tone. the way she shifts her body overtop her heel.
the girl lets a sigh out through her nose and tries to exercise patience as the man slowly rocks his hips forward and back, never breaching the halfway point. remaining gentle and delicate in his motion.
when she tries to sink her mouth further forward, he grips her hair and harshly tugs her back. her yelp is muffled around his cock.
“what, baby? that hurt?” his tone has a mocking edge to it. “thought y’said you could handle it.” he pulls himself out of her mouth so she can respond.
“i can.” her voice trembles. face is red hot. panties soaked with slick.
“yeah?” he slaps his cock against her cheek, “gonna be a tough girl for me?”
“yes,” she pleads, eyes fixated on him, enthusiastically embracing his shift of dominance.
to her surprise, carmen steps away from her. he’s giving her this look as if he’s about to devour her. silence, for a moment. like he’s thinking.
“take off your dress.”
she blinks, processing the request for a moment. after she shoots up and undoes her zipper, she hastily shoves the fabric down her body, letting it pool around her ankles before stepping out. and by the time she’s about to get back on her knees, carmen’s own clothes are on the floor next to hers.
the man graciously rakes his eyes over her nude body, thanking each and every saint he could think of. grabbing her and pulling her in for a frantic kiss before she can sink back down to her knees. he can taste the fruity remnants of lime and mint on her lips from the cocktail she had at the restaurant.
the girl eagerly accepts his kiss, slipping her tongue into his mouth, swallowing the small groan he releases.
“wanna taste you again,” she pleads in between kisses.
“yeah?” he bites at her lip.
“y-eah,” she gasps, surprised at how firmly he had nipped her.
carmen pulls away with a final kiss, moving to sit on the couch. he spreads his knees apart and locks eyes with the girl, a silent beckon to come.
she obeys, of course, and sinks down to the floor in between his legs, resting her hands atop his strong thighs. it’s only moments before she’s eagerly diving forward to take him into her mouth again.
carmy just watches her, savoring the moment. savoring how her tongue swirls around him and how she keeps going lower and lower. how her face gets redder and how she stares up at him with blown pupils. it’s surreal—almost dreamlike.
he gathers her hair in a haphazard ponytail, using his grip to push her a little further down. make her move a little faster. he can tell she likes it, too, by the way her moans vibrate around his cock.
carmen pulls her back by her hair, forcing her to take a breather. his eyes rake over her flushed cheeks and pouty lips. she looks like a little doll, and the juxtaposition of her pretty face with the filthy position drives him fucking crazy.
“stick your tongue out,” he tells her gruffly.
and she does, showing him her tongue and gazing up at him through her lashes.
carmy takes a firm hold of her face with his free hand and spits into her mouth. then eases his cock back inside.
it’s enough to make her want to cum on the spot.
the girl takes him in deeper than she had yet, almost hitting the back of her throat. and despite her gag, she continues to enthusiastically bob her head, desperate for more.
it’s so enjoyable, in fact, that she trails her hand down between her legs, beginning to circle her swollen clit just to alleviate some of the heat she felt. and it feels so fucking good just to have that added touch that her body goes a little limp, jaw goes slack.
she gives carmen complete control of her movements, tethered to him by the tight fist wrapped around her hair—consciously focusing on relaxing her throat as tears brim her eyes.
“jesus christ, that’s good, baby.” he shifts forward, filling her mouth with more of his length. watches in mild enjoyment as she gags around him.
“just relax,” he soothes, moving his free hand to caress her face, dragging her back by her hair.
the girl takes a sharp breath in as soon as she can, tears beginning to slip down her cheeks. her fingers are drenched with slick arousal, staring carmy in the eyes, lips parted as continues to eagerly rub circles over her clit.
“fuck me,” he strains, watching her play with herself, unaware of her desperation until that moment. the sight looks like it’s straight out of a porno. “you having fun down there?”
she nods her head eagerly, wiping some saliva from her chin with the back of her hand, leaning forward to try and take him back into her mouth.
carmen gives her hair a little tug, keeping her in place.
she glances up to give him a questioning look.
“come give me a taste.” his eyes glance down to her lips.
a small smile forms on her face as she processes his request. she gingerly leans forward, careful to not earn another tug, and licks a long stripe up his cock.
carmy loosens the grip on her hair as she goes to stand up, enthusiastically accepting her tongue into his mouth to taste himself.
there’s something about the ferocity of the kiss that makes him feel like he’s on the verge of finishing all over his stomach. he takes deep breaths trying to push the feeling away. and that’s before he feels the wet heat of her pussy rubbing against the tip his length.
the girl finds herself so desperate for release she begins to rock against his erection, letting it glide through her wet folds, gauging his reaction to see if he’ll stop her.
and he doesn’t, instead groaning into her mouth and grabbing her ass.
so the girl positions her wet hole over his cock, and slowly begins to sink down, letting out a gasp at the stretch.
“fuck,” the two chant in tandem, hers as a whimper and his as more of a gruff exhale.
carmen marvels about how perfect the stretch of her wet hot cunt feels around him as she eases herself down until she’s flush with his lap.
they just stare at each other for a second in this feral, pupils-blown kind of frenzy, mouths both agape at the sensation of his cock nudged so deeply within her. how she’s not even moving and it’s just so hot and wet and deep and fucking good.
carmen’s hand sides up her back, thumb pressing into the dip of her spine. his face is hot and his cock is throbbing and his mouth moves faster than his mind can.
“m’keeping you here with me,” he almost growls, pressing his fingers into her skin, eyes locked on hers. doesn’t miss the way she flinches a little at the words.
the girl grips the sides of his face, and leans forward, pressing her forehead against his, closing her eyes and shakily exhaling as she rocks her hips back and forth against him.
carmy says her name. it comes out strained. his hands grab her ass and he pulls and pushes her, intensifying the gentle rocking motion.
the girl presses her lips to his, hoping to quiet him with a kiss. hoping to forget about it and just enjoy the moment. but she feels him call her name again, this time against her lips. the girl begins to softly bounce herself on his lap, jostling his length inside of her.
“hey,” he exhales in between her eager kisses. “i didn’t mean-” another kiss, “-you just feel so good and i-”
“carmy,” she whispers softly against his lips, “be quiet baby. just-mmh… let’s just enjoy it.”
carmen groans into her mouth as she rocks her hips against his again, hand coming to the small of her back. and it’s definitely enjoyable. it’s just hard to not think about it ending. to not plead with her for just a little more.
the girl takes his scrunched face and nod as a gesture to keep going, so she shuffles her knees in a bit and begins slowly riding him. one hand touches his firm chest, the other trailing her kisses from his jaw to his neck.
“jesus christ,” is what slips from his mouth, as he feels her gentle bites, allowing himself to relinquish that control he holds so dearly, for just a moment.
when she pulls back from his neck, her face and chest are flushed, nipples perked, and she’s pushing her breasts out trying to get him to look.
but his eyes just remain fixed on hers, like he’s trying to memorize her blown pupils and color of her irises.
“is it okay?” she asks breathily as she keeps rocking her hips, feeling unexpectedly nervous under his intense gaze.
“you’re so fuckin’ beautiful,” he mutters immedietly, as if he doesn’t entirely process her question.
and even though they were this far along, the girl finds herself feeling shy at his sincerity. she goes to deflect as she usually does to compliments that fluster her.
“n-no, i-”
“-you are. my pretty fuckin’ girl. never gonna let you outta my sight,” he almost growls.
and by this point her body is hot and her pussy is throbbing and she’s finding the words that come out of his mouth so incredibly tempting. the implications less serious under the blanket of lust. so her lips part in a moan and she presses her hand to his chest and begins to ride faster, easing off then re-impaling herself on his cock. his hands come up to cup her breasts, ghosting thumbs over her nipples.
“yes, carm.”
“yeah?”
“mhm. love how you touch me.”
she shuffles her feet under her knees, angling herself to be able to bounce a bit more comfortably.
“you feel so-fuck… so good, you know that?” carmen grits, face scrunching at the new sensation.
her stomach flutters at his praise, eyes raking down his form beneath her. his flushed skin. the way the muscle of his shoulder bulges out a little as he’s grabbing her like his life depends on it.
“feels so big,” she whisper-cries.
“yeah? is it too much?”
“n-no. so good. m’so full.”
his eyes glance down to where their bodies are connected. watches her ride him for a moment. groans at the way she becomes nearly all the way flush with his hips.
“so good at that,” he grits, mesmerized by the way her sticky arousal clings to his pubic hair. “take me so good. you like feelin’ full, huh?”
her mouth just falls open in response, eyes screwing shut as she feels him reach forward to circle her clit. the added pleasure only spurs her on, beginning to eagerly ride him, breasts bouncing in front of his face.
“holy shit,” she cries, surprised how easily she feels her orgasm building, nails leaving crescents on the skin of his shoulder.
“you close already, baby?” he whispers with a small, knowing grin on his face. “m’barely touching you.”
she just moans in response, unable to open her eyes, bucking her hips more wildly by the second, movements becoming sloppier, needier.
“just keep-ah…just stay right there,” she pleads, savoring his slick, feather-light touches to her clit, feeling tears well up in her eyes.
“right there?” carmen eases his fingers back slightly at the sight of her tears, and it’s just enough pressure to keep her on edge.
“y-yeah, i’m…just please-” she cries pathetically, breaths becoming frantic, a static feeling tingling through her body. “please, carmy, m’gonna cum. just a little more.”
and he can’t help but just marvel at her. the twisted expression of pleasure on her face. the stray tear that slips down her cheek. it’s probably the most erotic thing he’s ever seen.
as a thank you for the next year of jerk-off material, he lets her have just a little more. watches with enjoyment as she finally comes unraveled with this loud, primal cry. feels the sting of her nails against his chest and bicep.
the man holds her hip with his free hand, thrusting up into her as her movement falters and she slumps forward.
“carm, i-” she gasps, body becoming overstimulated, thighs trembling.
“i got you, baby. i got you.”
“it’s-ah!”
“one more second, pretty girl, m’almost done. can you hold on for me?”
“y-yeah,” she cries, desperately grabbing onto him for dear life. there’s this overwhelming heat surging through her body. her lips feel numb and tingly. but she holds on and takes it like a big girl.
“you’re fuckin’ gripping me.” he strains, eyebrows twisted up in pleasure.
the girl isn’t able to respond through her jagged breathing, instead leaning forward to hungrily kiss him again.
“y’gonna have to move in a sec,” carmen warns, gripping her hips with bruising force.
“no,” she begins to move her hips against him, meeting his thrusts halfway.
carmy groans, eyes nearly rolling back into his head. “what do you mean no?” he strains.
“want it in me.”
“jesus, fu-” he exasperatedly exhales, “can’t baby. you know i can’t.”
they lock eyes, pupils blown.
“please. wanna feel it.” her plead comes in between desperate breaths.
“what, you want a baby or something?” the man asks her, partially in disbelief and partially in a fiery haze of lust.
“yes-!” she gasps. and even though a baby is probably the last thing she wants, there’s this inexplicable urge that overtakes. that revels in the idea of being linked with him forever.
“yeah?” he’s shocked by her answer, but not dissuaded, “you want me to put a baby in you?”
“yeah, carm. want your baby. wanna stay here with you.” the girl finds herself coming up on a second orgasm, relishing the way his cock perfectly nudges against her g-spot.
“fuckk,” he groans, face growing hot at her words, “you want that? really?” studying her expression for any trace of hesitation. finding none. “cause i’ll give it to you.” and he’s dead serious. he’ll buy a ring for her tomorrow if she wants it, he thinks to himself.
“yes, i want it,” she cries, “cum in me, please.”
and between the desperation of her plead and her breasts bouncing right in his face, it takes him about 5 more seconds before he erupts.
his cock twitches, body stiffens and he lets out a guttural moan, grabbing onto her hips with a bruising force.
and the feeling of his hot cum inside of her is enough for the girl to fall over the edge for a second time, tear-soaked eyes rolling back into her head, a whitehot bliss surging through her body.
the two lovers are overcome with the sensation, sexes pulsing rhythmically in sync, graciously sharing orgasms with each other.
carmen’s eyes are scrunched shut, brows furrowed and lips parted.
the girl’s head falls to his shoulder, shakily breathing through the feeling. trying to come back down to earth.
they just stay there for a moment, panting. recovering.
she finds that she can hear his heartbeat. zones into the rhythm. listens as it gradually slows.
carmy wraps his arms around her and nuzzles his face into her hair, breathing in the scent of her shampoo.
when she finally pulls back after a few minutes, she plants a gentle kiss to his lips.
“you good?” he asks against her mouth.
“so good.” and so full and so warm. she never wants to move.
but like all good things, they must come to an end. so the girl begins to slowly ease herself off his cock. and suddenly realizes what just happened.
“oh shit.”
“what?” carmen opens his eyes. watches as his cum slowly drips out of her. tries to take a mental picture.
but the girl quickly reaches over to grab a tissue off the coffee table, frantically wiping away the surplus of the stickiness leaking from her core.
“why didn’t you pull out?” her tone grows a bit frantic.
“wha-cause you fuckin’ begged me not to.” he shakes his head, trying to comprehend her question.
“i-…” she stutters, exhaling, “fuck, carmy, i’m not on birth control!”
he has this perplexed expression on his face, blinking slowly and trying to rationalize her response. “you…did you not want me to? m sorry, i-”
“-no, i know i told you to. i just-…i got caught up in the moment i guess.” between the release of her orgasm and the weight of her previous request, the girl finds herself fighting the urge to cry.
carmen must seem to notice this, because his hardened expression softens a bit. he quickly tries to think of something comforting to say.
“want me to take you to get a plan b?”
nice, carmy, he thinks to himself. he’s never been good at responding fast under pressure.
“yeah.” her response comes as a whisper. comes with a single tear. she turns her head away from him and embarrassedly tries to wipe it away.
“hey,” he says tenderly, going to hold the side of her face, turning her back to face him. just studies her face for a moment with furrowed brows, trying to think of what to say. “you…you know i’d support you, right? if you…whatever you decide.”
“really?” it’s hard for her to believe him.
“yes, really.”
“you’d want a baby?”
“if that’s what you want.” he has the most genuine expression on his face, eyes locked with hers. he watches another tear roll down her cheek and adds, “seriously. i’m all in.”
she’s shocked by his sincerity. it doesn’t make anything easier, either. just makes everything feel more confusing.
“i’m…carmy, i can’t.” her words come out as a kind of sob.
“that’s okay.” he reassures wholeheartedly. he doesn’t know why he feels just a little disappointed.
“but i want to.” the girl plants her hands on his bare chest. “it’s just…you’re older than me. you’re ready for that kind of thing. i’m…such a mess, i can’t even imagine being a mom yet.” it comes out choked, the tears just keep falling.
“i get it.” he nods. “really. you don’t have to explain yourself.” he rubs circles with his thumb along her hip. “i just wanted you to know. it’s your choice.”
“you’d wanna have a baby with me?” she wipes at her cheek.
“yeah.” he nods, brows furrowed. “of course i would.”
and just for a moment, the girl lets herself fantasize. lets her brain entertain the thought of having a family with him. of just leaving everything in california and starting new. of being so selfish and doing what she wants, just this one time.
the thought is so tempting she finds it hard to distance herself from. to rationalize.
she wouldn’t be a good mom. a good wife. not right now. she still has so much to learn about herself. so much to still figure out.
after a moment, she finally speaks.
“can you take me to cvs?”
carmen nods, and reaches up to wipe the last of her tears away.
he ignores the gnawing feeling of loss. has to remind himself it’s the loss of a fantasy.
the loss of something that never existed.
-
“fuck me.” she drops her bag to the ground, frantically opening pockets and unzipping zippers. “carm, i think i left my passport on the-“
“-no you didn’t.” he fishes in his back pocket for the booklet and hands it over. “here.”
the girl lets out a sigh of relief, staring up at the man with this perplexed, amazed expression.
“thank you.” it comes out in a sort of whisper, and when she goes to take it from him, their fingers brush against each other.
“you, uh…you only got an hour left.” he runs his hand through his messy hair. “y’should probably go find your gate.”
“yeah.” she stands. her bag remains on the ground. “okay.”
the two just stare at each other for a minute, locked in this trance-like state.
“you know, i-”
“-do you think we-”
their words overlap.
“i’m sorry, you go-”
“-no, go ahead.” carmen nods, a small smile on his face.
she takes a deep breath, piecing together what she even wants to say.
“just…thank you. for everything. and i’m gonna miss you.” her words don’t do it justice. there’s so much more she wants to say.
he nods, swallowing harshly. his fingers fumble for the piece of paper folded up in his pocket.
“i, uh…listen. i know you’re gonna be busy, and…want to focus on other things, which i get. but, uh…i was thinking, if you wanted…no pressure…uh,”
“what is that?” she interrupts, curiosity getting to the better of her, pointing to the folded up paper he holds.
“it’s uh…it’s a plane ticket. well, a voucher.” he hurriedly explains, “from LAX to ORD. i was thinking if you ever had a weekend free or something…” he trails off, trying to gauge her reaction. hoping he’s not overstepping.
she takes deep breaths—having promised herself earlier that she wouldn’t cry. but the moment she goes to open her mouth to speak, a sob comes out. she claps her hand over her mouth. closes her eyes as she feels carmen’s arms instantly wrap around her.
“hey,” he soothes, kissing the side of her head. “c’mon, don’t cry. you’re gonna make me cry.” his voice wobbles a bit.
the girl burrows her face into his chest, staining his shirt with tears.
“i don’t wanna go-!” she cries, clinging onto him as if her life depends on it.
“i know.” he nuzzles his nose into her hair. “i know, pretty girl. it’s gonna be okay.” his throat burns. face feels hot. and as much as he hates it, tears brim at his eyes. he told himself he wasn’t going to cry.
and so they just stand there, holding each other. ignoring the shuffle of the crowd around them as people queue into the security line.
ignoring the grainy announcements over the pa system.
ignoring the fact that it would’ve been so much less painful had they never gone so far.
for a moment, it feels like the world around them stops. the passage of time, the priority of leaving, all of it.
just for a moment. like they’re back in the living room and ella fitzgerald is playing.
“don’t forget about me,” she pleads into the fabric of his jacket.
“i don’t think i could if i tried.”
at this, she places a soft kiss onto his neck. “i’ll miss you.”
“me too,” carmen chokes out, grabbing at her waist, her hips, trying to memorize the feeling of her body against his.
and as the girl slowly tries to pull away, he holds her a little tighter, trying to turn his head so she doesn’t see him cry.
“carmy,” she whispers soothingly, reaching up to wipe a tear from his face.
“just, uh…call me when you land, yeah?” he brushes the gesture off, feeling all too vulnerable under her sympathetic gaze.
“okay.” she rubs his cheek.
“alright. i guess you should go get in line, then.” he goes to step back.
“wait.”
the girl pulls his face in and presses one last kiss to his lips. it feels like they lock together. like the perfect fit.
and carmen just melts into the feeling, letting out the smallest of groans into her mouth. it’s her taste, her smell, everything. for a split second he debates giving up on his dreams. selling the restaurant and following her to california. raising babies and laying in the sand and swimming in the ocean no matter how cold it is.
she slowly steps back, leaving him wanting just a little more.
“i love you.” she softly reminds him, holding his hand.
he nods, pressing his lips together and looking away from her. feeling so stupid for the tears that burn his eyes.
“i love you too.”
the girl takes another step back, letting her hand fall from his. picking up her bag and giving him one last good look. imprinting into her mind his messy curls and handsome face.
and it feels like there’s nothing left to say, really.
so she turns and walks away from him. towards the security checkpoint doors. taking deep breaths and wiping at her cheeks. she’s about to push through the doors.
don’t look back. do not look back.
she turns to look back at him. and he’s still there, standing in the same place she’d left him. his hands are in his pockets. jaw is clenched. just watching her with this look on his face that makes her want to dive into his arms and tell him she’ll stay.
the girl raises her hand. gives him a small wave. he returns the gesture with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.
and with that, she pushes through the doors.
in a way, it feels like she’s leaving home. not returning home.
for the entire flight, she stares out the window in complete silence. thinking about the last few months. biting back more tears with every new thought.
she gets back to san diego around 6 in the evening. takes a taxi to the beach that’s a mile from her house.
sends carmy a picture of the waves rolling in, the sky stained a pinkish orange.
within a few minutes, she receives a heart on the photo.
he doesn’t send anything else.
it does feel good to be home. the girl has to continually remind herself of this over the next few weeks. it feels familiar. feels safe.
but along with the joy of being back home, there’s this underlying feeling of grief. a gnawing in her chest whenever she lays her head down at night.
she feels haunted by carmen, in a way.
her brain plays cruel tricks on her—mistaking any white man with curly brown hair at the supermarket for him just for a split second.
stalking his instagram. his restaurant’s instagram. his restaurant’s employee’s instagrams. trying to keep up with him.
she doesn’t call him. doesn’t text.
and carmy doesn’t either.
she opens their message thread ever so often just to make sure she didn’t miss his notification. types out messages and deletes them and stares at the heart he’d left on her picture.
she convinces herself that if he wanted to call her, he would’ve. takes his silence as a message.
on christmas day she has one cranberry cocktail too many and finally gives in. navigates to her contacts and presses on the phone icon next to his name.
and the line rings. and rings. and rings. and right before she’s about to hang up and drown herself in more cranberry cocktails, the line picks up.
“hey,” comes carmen’s voice through the phone. it’s so good to hear that the girl blanks out for a minute, not even sure of what to say. “hello?” he asks into the silence.
“fuck you,” she blurts out, clapping a hand over her mouth as soon as the words leave. it was just the first thing that came to mind.
after a stunned silence, she hears him give a surprised chuckle, followed by a “merry christmas to you too.” carmen grabs his jacket and opens the door of his mom’s house, stepping out into the cold, snowy night.
“you never called me.”
“i, um…i didn’t think you wanted me to,” the man responds truthfully, “you never responded.”
what? he never sent anything to respond to.
“respond to-…” she scoffs, “what, you ‘liking’ my message?”
“yeah,” he feels a little embarrassed hearing it out loud, “yeah, i guess i can see what you mean. i, uh…sorry. i was actually just thinking about you.”
his admission sends butterflies through her stomach. she rolls her eyes at the feeling.
“yeah, well merry christmas. and i hope you get coal.” her face feels hot. “and i miss you.” the last part spills out without her permission.
he gives her another soft laugh.
“yeah, i deserve coal. and i…i miss you so fucking much,” he admits, watching his breath freeze in the air in front of him, “you still liking it out there?”
“it’s alright.” her response comes softly. she plays with a loose thread on her sweater.
“yeah? your mom doing okay?”
“i guess. as okay as she can. is yours?”
carmen exhales, half humorous, half exasperation. “yeah. as okay as she can.” he had been called a bitch more times than he could count tonight, actually. but he keeps it light.
the girl just hums in agreement at this, and a brief silence settles between them. he’s the one to eventually break it.
“you, uh…you think about coming out anytime soon?” god, he wishes he had a cigarette. “still got your room empty.”
“yeah, i have.” it’s all she’s been thinking about. but she tries to stay nonchalant. “maybe after new years.”
“great, yeah.” his heart pounds a little faster at her words. “no pressure, just…yeah. i’d love to see you.”
“okay. i’ll um…i’ll let you know,” she tells him softly, feeling an overwhelming urge to cry.
“okay.”
“merry christmas, carmy.”
“merry christmas.” he shuffles from side to side. “stay in touch, yeah? it was really good to hear from you.”
“yeah, i will. you too. goodnight.”
“wait, i uh-” he wants to tell her he loves her.
“hm?” she puts the phone back up to her ear.
“just, um…take care of yourself, yeah?” he can’t seem to muster up the courage.
“i will.”
“okay. good.”
“i…i’m gonna feel stupid for saying this, but i love you, carm.”
he gets this feeling of relief and pain all in one. “i love you too.” so much. “thanks for callin’.”
“goodnight.”
“yeah, night.”
the line disconnects. and it feels better than before.
hurts still, yes.
but better.
the girl finds herself staring at the ceiling that night, just thinking. about her family, her career. about carmen. finds solace in the way that gnawing feeling is replaced by a fluttering. a hopefulness.
and what is love, if not unconditional and everlasting?
she drifts off to sleep with warm cheeks and the image of his goofy smile at the forefront of her mind.
-
a/n: ow.
really hope you enjoyed this series :) these two i hold so near & dear to my heart and i thoroughly enjoyed watching this story fold out along with you. thank you all so much for your patience with the process & for your kind words!!! xoxox
warnings: some fighting at the beginning, but it’s mostly just one big love and fuckfest, mommy issues, slight mention of disordered eating, carmy is a PERV!! unprotected sex throughout but what else did you expect, shower sex (water off for SAFETY), teasing, play fighting (like shoving), brat/brat tamer themes, f receiving oral, fingering, major voyeurism (while otp with richie because i have a crush on him), spanking (and mention of skin being red), slight dacryphilia, sexy pictures, face fucking (m receiving oral), he spits in her mouth, kind of rough handling (thank u dom carmy), but it’s sweet and sappy too, breeding kink oop, bittersweet ending, pls let me know if i missed any warnings my brain is fried from looking at this for so long.
wc: 21k - but tumblr has a 1k "block limit" so this chapter is broken into two posts
a/n: sorry that took me so long i took a grippy sock vacation lol. wow i am so excited for all of you to read this. and the only way i can apologize is with 21k words of the nastiest smut i’ve ever written. LET THERE BE LIGHT!!! (part two of this chapter will be linked at the bottom! no more waiting i promise!!)
playlist
knock knock
he calls her name.
she rolls her eyes, brushing out the tangles in her hair. “i need to talk to you.” his voice comes sternly.
she cracks the door, continuing to detangle. the plan was to ignore him, yet she can’t help but seethe at the fact that she had to deal with claire again.
“go talk to your girlfriend” her retort comes sharply.
“can you not start this shit?” his face scrunches.
“i’m not starting anything,” she defends, “you’re the one who keeps inviting that girl over here.”
“she forgot her scarf,” he states, “she just came to pick it up. that’s it.”
the girl scoffs.
“i’m sure she wanted a lot more than her scarf from you, carm.”
“you-,” he rubs his forehead, sighing, “i told her that we’re together, okay?” his eyebrow twitches from the argument.
“you only told her that because she saw me in your shirt,” the girl argues stubbornly, “if i didn’t walk behind you, you wouldn’t have said anything.” she turns the shower on.
“yes i would have,” he contests, “and even if she didn’t see you, i’ve got these fuckin’ things all over my neck,” pointing to the dark purple hickeys that lay on his skin, “thanks for those, by the way. gotta go into work tomorrow like this.”
she bites her lip to hide a smirk.
he catches it and raises his eyebrows in response.
“payback.”
“what?” he stutters, shaking his head.
“those are nothing compared to what you gave me.”
he scoffs and crosses his arms. tries to push away how roused he becomes when they bicker like this.
“i didn’t hear any complaints while i was giving you them,” he counters.
she rolls her eyes.
“can you get out? i need to shower.”
“m’not done talking to you,” his eyes lock on her face.
she puts her hand on her hip and scoffs, staring at him for a moment, studying his features. cursing how her body tingled from the argument. deliberating.
“fine,” she concedes, threading her fingers under the hem of the borrowed shirt, lifting it up over her head to reveal her nudity. if he won’t leave, she’ll just shower anyways.
carmen fights a groan at the sight, instead forcefully exhaling through his nose.
she was right, the marks on his neck were nothing compared to the bruises littering her skin, trailing from her neck all the way down to her chest, ranging from red to purple to brown.
the girl turns to open the glass door of the shower, stepping in, watching as the man shamelessly admires her figure. she goes about her business as if he’s not there, submerging her head under the stream of water, carding her fingers through her hair to scrub her scalp.
he’s not done talking to her, yet he can’t seem to remember what he even wanted to say, transfixed by her nude, wet body just feet away. she begins to hum a tune and lather up her hair with shampoo.
carmen approaches the glass.
“hey,” he tries with a knock, eyebrow twitching. something else twitching, too.
she glances at him, suds dripping down the side of her face, sliding down her breasts. she smirks knowingly at the sight of his flustered face, pushing her chest out slightly before drenching her face underneath the water again.
he knocks on the glass door again, jaw tightly clenched. she rubs the water out of her eye and turns to him, cracking the door of the shower open.
“hm?” she questions, gazing up at him.
“we gonna finish talking?” he asks. he looks angry, but she knows better. the way his chest puffs out. the way his jaw clenches in that certain way. he looks hungry, and she’s tempted to keep pushing.
“i can’t. i’m in the shower,” she bites down on her lip to refrain from smirking.
“why-” a sigh, running his fingers through his hair, “why you being such a brat today, huh?” he strains, giving great effort to keep his gaze from trailing down.
“because i want you to myself,” she bites, “i’m tired of sharing with claire.”
“will you knock that shit off? y’not sharing me with anyone.”
“uh, i beg to differ,” her eyebrows scrunch, “you’ve been fucking around with her since i moved in.”
“fucking around?” he scoffs, “she was getting her scarf.”
“there was the other time, too, carm,” she reminds him.
“that’s because-” he lets out a sigh of exasperation, hand carding through his hair. “listen. she’s the last person i wanna be with. we just…weren't good together.”
“why not?” she presses
“there just wasn’t…i dunno, sparks? it was like dating a friend.”
“okay.” she’s still mad, but she likes the words that come from his mouth. because if she has one thing with carmen, it’s definitely sparks.
“yeah?” he tries, leaning to see her face, “you know i’m yours, right?”
“yeah. whatever.” she doesn’t want to concede, too fired up about claire coming back over. “you should’ve told me.”
“i knew it’d make you mad,” he defends.
“not as mad as it makes me thinking that you invited her,” she scoffs, “fucking hate seeing that girl bat her eyelashes at you.” she lathers shampoo between her hands and begins to wash her hair.
“yeah?” he raises his eyebrows, “feeling jealous?”
“shut up.” she can sense the stupid smirk on his face.
carmy’s concentration breaks, and his gaze flits down to her sudsy chest. fuck. he clears his throat before speaking.
“didn’t know girls like you could get jealous.”
“girls like m-what? what is that supposed to mean?” she cracks an eye open.
“means you’re too fuckin’ pretty to worry about that shit. so just lose the attitude.”
his answer catches her off guard. the pulsing between her legs catches her off guard too. so she just turns away from him, scrubbing her scalp with her soapy fingers and shutting her eyes tightly.
he chides her name and pushes the glass door open further.
she ignores him, soaking her hair under the stream of water, muffling his voice. her eyebrow twitches.
carmy steps partially in and turns off the water, getting his shirt wet in the process. the girl’s eyes shoot open and she whips around to face him.
“what the fuck, carmy?!”
“i need you to fuckin’ hear me.” his comes louder than he anticipated. “i don’t. want. claire.”
she doesn’t even care anymore. his lips look so inviting, she thinks. his white shirt clings to his chest in the spot that got wet.
she just looks at him for a moment. studies his frenetic expression. looks at his lips again.
“are you gonna keep fucking fighting with me or are you gonna take that wet shirt off?”
it takes him a half second of firm deliberation before he’s yanking his shirt over his head and pushing his sweatpants off. she grins as he roughly grabs her face and slams his lips against hers.
he kisses her with a hungry frenzy, like he has something to prove.
and they apologize to each other with their bodies yet again, as carmen lifts her against the cold tile and fucks her, coaxing and kissing and thrusting an orgasm out of her.
he fucks her until it feels like all the hurting is gone. until she gets lovey and desperate for him. until he gets so worked up he groans promises about finding her in california and giving her a ring.
by the time they finish, the water is cold and the girl begins to shiver. so the two quickly finish washing up and carmy wraps her in a towel.
he retrieves one of his sweatshirts for her to wear, smoothing his hands over her arms to help warm her up.
without many words exchanged, they decide to cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie together. she lays her head on his lap and he cards his fingers through her hair absentmindedly. exchanging tenderness to help mend the argument. forgetting feelings of jealousy and shortcoming and guilt.
they cozy up in carmen’s bed that night, taking a moment before falling asleep to just lay staring at each other. joking softly, touching each other sweetly.
he asks her about california, and watches with fascination as she lights up telling him about the beach she grew up next to. tells him about how when things would get bad at home she would sneak out her window and spend hours swimming in the salty water. letting the waves lap at her skin. letting the sun kiss her better. how it seems so dangerous looking back at it, but as kid nothing ever seemed that dangerous. it felt like nothing could hurt you.
carmy enthusiastically agrees with her. follows her memory with his own anecdote of when donna took him, mikey, and nat to lake michigan and little carmy got separated from everyone. how he would have otherwise panicked and ran around and made the situation worse, but it was such a beautiful evening. so he decided to just sit on a rock and watch the waves roll in.
a big smile grows on the girl's face as he recounts the moment when his mom found him. how she threw her arms around him and cried. how he was too young to understand why she was so scared when it was such a lovely evening.
she wraps her arms around his shoulders and their chests press flush together. she kisses his neck, and they stay quiet for a moment.
“i wish i didn’t have to go back,” she whispers her admission.
“me too.” he keeps playing with her hair.
it’s quiet for a moment. there’s a heaviness that fills the room.
“how long you gonna have to end up staying?” carmy asks softly, leaning away from her to study her eyes. her face. trying to memorize every detail. he doesn’t miss the way her expression falters at his question.
the girl doesn’t answer, and her eyes become glossy.
“shit,” he breathes. her eyes dart to his. “you’re not coming back, are you?”
“my whole family is there,” she whispers, “my friends. there’s nothing for me here.”
“really?” he scoffs, “nothing at all?”
“don’t start, carm.”
“y’know i fuckin’ love you,” he harshly whispers. she flinches slightly at the word. it feels so much heavier without the haze of lust.
“all we ever do is fuck and fight.”
“that’s not true,” he argues.
“it is.”
the man lets out a sigh of frustration, studying her eyes. her face. her lips.
“it just…it feels right with you,” his tone softens.
she doesn’t say anything for a moment, and fantasizes about leaving everything behind and building something in chicago, no matter how much she had grown to hate the weather. she fantasizes about the man in front of her. how she wants to build a life with him. how makes her feel like no other man ever has.
it’s hard to verbalize as her mind racks back and forth, so instead she just leans forward and kisses him softly, fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck.
carmy reciprocates hesitantly, mind racing with the things he wants to tell her. how he doesn’t care about the distance. how he’ll call her every night. how he’ll keep her room vacant incase she wants to come back. he softly groans into the kiss when she slips her tongue into his mouth, feeling her press her chest flush against his. it feels so good, but he knows it’s wrong to keep pushing the hard conversations away with more sex.
the girl finds his hand and softly guides it under the hem of her shirt. carmen lets her, fingertips finding the softness of her skin. but when she tries to pull his hand up to her breast, he stops the attempt, fingers firmly pressing against her ribs.
the girl whines against his lips, moving closer.
carmy indulges in the taste of her for only a moment more before pulling back and saying her name. she ignores him, chasing his lips, hand moving to grasp his strong bicep.
“hey,” he turns his head and her kisses land messily along his jaw, “c’mon.”
she ignores him, knowing he’ll want to keep talking about california, pressing herself closer, wanting to indulge in the feeling of him without thinking about the end.
he calls her name again, voice coming out strained. she can feel his erection pressing against her, and keeps peppering kisses along his jaw and face.
“just make me feel good,” she begs against his skin, “please.”
carmen feels himself throb against her, wanting nothing more than to give in. knowing it won’t fix anything. knowing it’ll only complicate things more.
“thought you said all we do is fuck and fight?” his fingers grip into her, jaw tightening, feeling his resolve begin to crumble beneath her lips.
“mhm,” she breathes into his skin, “so fuck me again,” trailing her hand down his bare abdomen.
he grips her wrist before she can move any further down. her eyes come up to meet his, taking in the stern look on his face.
“i know you wanna,” she breathes, a small smile tugging at the edge of her lips, “can feel you throbbing against me.”
carmen harshly exhales, trying to keep his mind focused. she’s completely right, he thinks, he’s stiff as wood. but he has to stay strong, prove to himself he has control around her.
“stop fucking around. i wanna talk to you.” his voice comes more sharply than he means.
the girl stiffens at his tone, pulling away to sit up and retreat. he doesn’t release her wrist.
“let me go,” she tells him.
“no. we’re gonna fuckin’ finish this,” his eyebrows furrow, “i didn’t even know you weren’t coming back until now.”
“i don’t wanna talk about it anymore.” her throat feels tight.
“no? just want me to make you feel better? that all this is to you?” he can’t help the harshness of his tone.
“carm, i-”
“y’know i’ve never fuckin’ felt this way about anyone? never said ‘i love you’ to anyone but you?” his nose scrunches, eyes appearing glossy.
“we’ve only known each other for a few weeks.” her tone comes hushed as her chest painfully tightens.
“yeah, well, i know you enough to know that this is real. that i don’t even-” a sigh, “ i don’t want anybody else but you.”
“everything you’re saying is just gonna make it harder when i leave.” her voice breaks.
his furrowed brows soften at the sound, releasing her wrist. she says seated on the bed, trying to take deep breaths and stave off the hot tears that threaten to form.
“fuck, i-” he pauses, harshly rubs his hand over his face, taking a moment before meeting her eyes again and saying her name. “i like you. a lot.”
“i know. i like you too, carm.” she rubs the tears away harshly.
“so why can’t we just…enjoy it? while you’re still here? go all out on this?”
she stares at him blankly for a second as a cue to elaborate.
the man exhales and shakes his head, trying to piece together what to say. he can’t seem to find the words. she thankfully cuts in.
“go all out on this?” she asks.
he nods.
“like, you wanna be my fuckin’…. boyfriend?”
carmen can’t help the small smile that flashes across his face at the title. he tries to turn his head to hide it but she catches it, playfully shoving his arm. his smile turns to a chuckle.
“shut up,” she grins, wiping the last stray tear away, “you so wanna be my boyfriend.”
he bring his arms to rest behind his head, staring up at the girl with a lazy smile. he studies her smile. her pretty face. they way in which she’s leaned in closer.
“fuck yeah, i do. you kidding me?”
her eyebrows raise at how assertively he says it. her head falls back, and she begins to laugh. partially out of joy and partially out of disbelief. the sound is hearty and sweet, and carmy finds himself wishing he’d make her laugh more.
the girl leans over him, smile still gracing her face, and she plants a tender kiss against his lips.
carmen gazes dreamily at her as she sits back up and tucks her hair behind her ears. her face is flushed, and she’s wearing an expression he can’t quite read. they keep staring at each other silently.
“this is gonna be a bad idea, huh?” she asks after a moment.
“why?”
“why wouldn’t it be?” her eyes take in his handsome face. she thinks about how hard it’s gonna be to leave.
“well…i like you,” he clears his throat, “a lot. actually i’m kind of fuckin’ crazy about you.”
her gaze softens at this. he continues.
“and i’m very attracted to you. and we, uh… we have great sex…”
“yeah, we do,” she concedes, “these are all good points.”
“so then, you’re my girlfriend.”
“carmy…” she sighs, pausing. thinking of what to say. “i don’t like it here. i’ve felt homesick for the past year. i’m really not coming back.” her voice is quiet.
“yeah.” he nods, clearing his throat, “i know you’re not.” he knows, but it’s still hard to be reminded of.
“so, you’re gonna be okay with that?”
“i mean…i’m not okay with it, but i’ll deal with it if it means we get to spend these next few weeks together.”
she thinks for a moment, studying his genuine expression.
“okay…but if we do this, we have to promise each other that we’re not gonna get too attached. i really don’t want this to be messy. i like you too much.”
“it won’t be,” he assures, although it feels more like a prayer than a fact.
“okay,” she whispers, “then you’re my boyfriend i guess.”
his eyes light up a bit at this, and a boyish grin breaks his face.
“nice.”
“you’re stupid.” she laughs at his response, lightly shoving his chest again.
he reaches up and shoves her shoulder back playfully.
“you are.”
she scoffs and goes to shove him again, harder this time. he catches her wrist and pulls her forward so she can’t. the girl lets out a yelp of surprise, splaying out over him, face inches from his.
the simple display of dominance makes her feel dizzy, placing her free hand on his firm chest to center herself.
“why you like fighting so much, hm?” he asks, his breath ghosting over her lips, “you’re always testing.”
she tries to pull her wrist away, but his grip is firm.
“cause you’re…sexy when you’re mad,” she admits, eyes drooping to his lips.
“i’m sexy when i’m mad?” he has a slight mocking tone.
“mhm.” she can’t keep her eyes off his lips. “if i worked at your restaurant, i’d probably mess shit up on purpose just so you’d yell at me.”
“jesus,” he lets out a laugh, rubbing his free hand over his face, “what, you like when i get a little rough you?”
“n-no,” she blurts out. the way she averts her eyes immediately reveals her lie.
“yeah, i think you do,” he grins.
she goes to defend herself again, but shuts her mouth when she can’t think of anything to say. it is kind of true, anyways.
“shut up,” she pushes his face away from her gently, “or else i’ll break up with you.”
this makes him fully laugh. it’s a really nice sound. she watches the way his face crinkles with the big smile. when his laugh fades, he reaches for her chin and pulls her into a gentle kiss. she sighs into the feeling, settling her body closer to his.
“m’tired,” she mutters into his lips, “you exhaust me.”
carmy rolls his eyes at this. “c’mere.” he says, pulling the sheets back for her.
the girl slips in next to him and presses her back against his chest, resting her head on his bicep.
carmy reaches behind him to turn off the lamp, then wraps his arm securely around her. he plants a kiss on her neck and nuzzles his nose into her hair.
boyfriend.
he could get used to the title.
-
carmen gets home late from work on a cold night, late into november, crashing down onto the couch and basking in the silence of the apartment.
it was a long day in the kitchen, followed by meeting with a contracting crew to update some structural components after hours.
he had finally taken off after being there for almost 12 hours straight, begrudgingly leaving the renovations to be overseen by richie after having snapped at the crew for the third time.
he hears soft footsteps padding down the hall, and opens his eyes to see his girlfriend. his sweet, perfect, sexy fucking girlfriend. and it’s like a breath of fresh air, especially after not having seen her the past few days. and she’s wearing a tiny pair of shorts with a crop top that barely covers the curve of her breasts.
it’s like a reward, he thinks to himself, for all the bullshit he put up with today at the restaurant.
“welcome home,” she greets, walking past the couch and into the kitchen.
“hey,” he returns, eyes following her, gaze raking down her backside as she gets herself a glass of water.
“how was work?” she’s oblivious to the way he’s hungrily looking at her, oblivious to how pent up he feels.
“long,” he responds, eyes trailing up the length of her legs.
she lets out a hum of acknowledgement, turning to face him and taking a long sip of water. she catches him watching her intently, his arm stretched out over the back of the couch and neck craned.
“enjoying the view?” comes her tease.
“y’look good,” he defends.
“yeah?”
“mhm.”
the girl sets her glass down and begins to saunter to the couch. carmen’s eyes follow her closely.
“how good?” she stops in front of him.
“good enough to eat.” a small smile twitches the edge of his lip.
“yeah? wanna taste?” her hands come to her hips, and she pushes her chest out slightly.
fuck. he shamelessly looks her up and down. this was getting to be dangerous territory.
“do you wanna go to out to dinner this week?” he changes course, watching her brain stutter for a second.
“wh-dinner?”
he nods, resting his head against his hand. she pauses for a moment, studying his face.
“where?”
“wherever you want.”
“like…a date?”
“mhm,” a smirk tugs at the edge of his lips, “cause you’re, uh…my girlfriend now.”
a grin breaks her face. she thinks for a moment.
“can we go to your restaurant?”
“uh…yeah, i guess we can.”
“you guess?” she asks.
“yeah, we can go. but you’re probably gonna get a lot of, uh…attention.” he admits hesitantly.
“from who? your staff?”
he nods. they would probably lose their shit seeing him bring in a girl to eat dinner with. not to mention a girl that looks like her.
“okay,” she nods, “i’ll dress cute. you can help me pick.”
“yeah?” he likes the sound of that.
“mhm. whatever you want.”
carmen rubs his hand over his face then locks his eyes on her again. this girl is going to be the death of him.
“c’mere,” he beckons.
the girl gently steps forward, standing in between his spread legs. his hand comes to the back of her thigh as he sits forward, gazing up at her with those big blue eyes. he looks so handsome, and she can’t help but place her hands on his face and lean in to kiss him.
it’s gentle and sweet, and it only makes him want more, tightening his grip on her leg as she pulls away.
“you taste minty,” she says softly, still leaning over him, stroking her thumb across his face.
“you sure?” he’s fixated on her lips, “might wanna check again.” he definitely is minty from the nicorette gum he’d been chewing. but it’s worth a shot.
this makes her smile. and she does check again. decides it’s spearmint she tastes.
before she can pull back, carmy pulls her forward to straddle him. she makes a sound of surprise, but leans into it, wrapping her arms around his neck and continuing to kiss him.
“missed you today,” he slips in between kisses.
“liar,” she smiles against his lips.
his hands come to her hips, pulling her against him.
“nah, it’s true,” another kiss, “couldn’t stop fuckin’ thinking about you.”
“prove it.” she grinds against his bulge, making him tighten his grip.
“lay down,” he growls, pulling away. there’s a dark gleam in his eyes.
“or else what?” she challenges
he grabs both sides of her thighs and stands up with her still straddling his waist, turning and dropping her back onto the couch.
okay, he’s not in the mood for arguing anymore. good to know.
carmen cages her with his arms and kisses her deeply before trailing his lips down her jaw, neck, collarbones, only being stopped by the neckline of her shirt. he glances up at her, and she eagerly takes it off. he smiles at the silent act of obedience and continues kissing down her body, barely giving any attention to her breasts before his lips come to her stomach. the girl huffs at this, and he pretends to not notice.
“what are you doing?” she strains, watching as his lips come to rest just above the waistband of her shorts.
“m’getting my taste,” he replies casually
“carmy,” she chides, face becoming red and hot.
“what?” his fingers hook her waistband, “you embarrassed or something?” another kiss on her hipbone.
she is, inexplicably. and vulnerable and exposed and horny all at the same time. she hides her face in her arms instead of responding, feeling him slide the shorts down her legs, left clad only in a thin pair of panties.
carmy hooks his arms around her legs and pulls her closer to his mouth, pressing slow, firm kisses to her covered mound.
the girl lets out a labored breath at the heat of his lips against her clit as he begins to place wet, open mouthed kisses on her covered pussy. her cotton underwear becomes damp with his tongue, and she arches into the feeling with a sharp breath in.
carmy nuzzles the fabric and deeply inhales, letting out a low groan.
“ah- don’t do that!” the girl tries to clamp her legs shut out of embarrassment, but he holds them firmly in place and presses his face closer to her core, continuing to kiss and suck her through the fabric.
“you smell good,” carmy defends. “and these are cute,” he snaps the band of her panties.
she can hardly even process the statement before he starts sliding them down her thighs, bunching up the fabric and putting it in his pocket.
“hey, you can’t have those,” she strains.
there’s a delay in carmen’s response—too busy studying her soft pussy up close, lips gleaming with wetness, bundle of nerves twitching under his gaze.
“i’ll, uh…make it up to you,” his eyes stay fixed on the glorious sight upon him.
he leans in, flattens his tongue against her clit, and begins to gently lick.
the girl gasps, and her hands fly down to grab his hair as she releases a whine of pleasure.
the tantalizing licks to her clit are gentle. almost not enough. she tugs on his hair and tries to scoot forward, so he eases his tongue back.
when his eyes flicker to her face. her skin is flushed, lip clamped between her teeth, and she’s looking at him hungrily.
“y’so pretty,” he presses a kiss to her clit, “taste so fuckin’ good.”
her head falls back and she breathes out sharply. it’s too much to keep making eye contact with him. the slow, teasing licks are the only thing she can concentrate on.
“you gonna say thank you?” it’s more of a demand than a question, as he glides his finger over her entrance, collecting her syrupy wetness.
“n-no,” she struggles, face hot and red.
thank you, really? how embarrassing.
his tongue flicks over her clit repeatedly, his finger dips inside of her opening ever so slightly.
“no?” his lips close around her clit and he sucks, cherishing the sound of the first moan she allows to slip out.
“mmm,” she whines in response, beginning to pant at the feeling of his mouth.
“c’mon, be a good girl for me?” unlikely, but he asks anyways
“i am,” she argues, pulling his head towards her needy heat. he scoffs at this and continues to swirl his tongue around her clit.
“then say thank you.”
“carm, i’m not saying-ah thank you!” she cuts herself off with a moan as he sinks his finger inside of her. “y’welcome” he replies lowly, a smirk fighting to break his face.
“shut up. i didn’t-mmh! …mean it like that.”
she sits up onto her forearms, watching him curl his digit upwards inside of her, trying to keep it together.
“you’re so fuckin’ cute.” he growls, then dives forward to taste her again. his fingers curl rhythmically, tongue lightly swirling her sensitive clit, giving her barely enough stimulation to get by.
“more,” she whines, bucking her hips up slightly. he gives her a disapproving glance, so she adds a “please”.
“yeah?” he kisses her clit.
she frantically nods her head, trying to scoot closer to the man, trying to buck her hips against his hand.
carmen speeds up the pace of his fingers, sucking her clit into his mouth, free hand gripping onto her thigh.
“yeah,” she moans, “fuck, you’re so good at that.”
he preens at the praise and swirls her clit with his tongue, beginning to lap at her pussy. when he adds a second finger she cries out his name.
the view above him in combination with how sweet she sounds leaves his cock pulsing beneath his denim. he reaches down with his free hand, undoing his belt buckle and unzipping his pants. he just needs a little something to keep him from fucking her into the couch.
as he goes to wrap his fingers around his cock, he’s interrupted by the harsh buzz of his phone on the table.
the girl startles at this, and both of their eyes dart to the contact tag.
fucking richie.
he doesn’t stop the movement of his fingers, and leans back in to taste her again, ignoring the loud vibrations. he begins to softly stroke himself, groaning into her pussy.
“do you need to-ah… to get that?
“no,” he replies sharply, “y’taste too fuckin’ good to stop.”
the girl whimpers at the sound of his voice. at how low and raspy and hungry it sounds.
“let me taste,” her plead comes breathily.
carmen nearly groans at her request, more than willing to happily oblige. he licks a long stripe up her pussy, collecting her slick on his tongue, then leans over for a kiss. the girl eagerly (and messily) accepts his lips, swirling her tongue around his own, tasting her juices. she tasted herself before off his fingers, but it’s so much better off his tongue. she moans appreciatively and holds the sides of his face, pulling him in for deeper, sloppier, wetter kisses. the vibration of the phone stops, and his fingers continue their pace, curling into her heat, beginning to produce a squelching sound from the slick of her arousal.
“yes!” she cries into his lips, eyes nearly rolling back into her head.
“so perfect, y’know that?” he punctuates his words with the thrust of his fingers, gently biting at the girl’s bottom lip.
she’s only able to muster a moan in response, trailing her hand down her stomach to circle her neglected clit, babbling out a string of “yes yes yes yes.”
the phone vibrates harshly atop the edge of the table again, falling to the floor with a loud thud.
“fuck!” carmen exclaims, ripping his hand out of his pants. he stops curling his fingers inside of her and leans down to angrily grab his phone. the girl lets out a cry of protest.
“carmy m’so close, please,” she begs pathetically. grabbing at his arm.
“be quiet,” he hushes her, scooting back down to his previous position between her legs, “can y’do that for me?”
she nods eagerly, biting down on her lip.
carmen answers the call with a harsh “what?” and rolls his eyes at the voice that blares through the other line.
his fingers remain engulfed in her heat, and he begins to slowly curl them again. the girl lets out a sharp breath and he shoots her a warning look, mouthing a stern “quiet.”
he puts the call on speakerphone, then places it on her stomach, leaning down to softly lick her clit. the girls eyes widen in surprise. a loud voice begins to come through the phone.
“-that he was going to do it anyways, but i said ‘no way, carmy would have a fuckin’ bitch fit if we didn’t ask!’ so don’t answer the phone all fuckin’ mad, it’s not my fault,” the voice at the other line loudly rambles. carmy lifts his mouth from her pussy to respond
“jesus, richie, just look at the fucking floor plan.”
“you don’t think we tried that? the vents aren’t lining up with the floor pla- what is that sound?”
carmy curls his fingers a bit faster, pressing his tongue flat against her clit instead of answering. the girl gasps, convinced her lip is going to start bleeding from how hard she’s biting down on it.
his eyes flicker up to her, and she mouths a “what the fuck?”
like an asshole, he just grins in response.
“hello?? earth to asshole,” richie’s voice cuts in loudly, “what the fuck are you doing over there?”
carmen pulls away from her pussy with wet lips. he looks pretty, she thinks, like he has lipgloss on or something.
“m’eating dessert,” he responds truthfully. the girl’s faces grows incredibly hot.
“you wh- dessert? what is it, is it good?”
“fuck, richie, you-” he sighs, “forget about the vents,” he begins to rub gentle circles around her clit, “just have them do the pipes and go home. and stop fucking calling me.”
“you think i wanted to call you, you fuckin’ baby? it’s gonna be an extra $200 for them to come back tomorrow and…” he continues to ramble on. meanwhile the girl holds onto carmy’s shoulder, digging her nails in, trying to anchor herself. the feeling of his fingers plunging into her is incredible, and there’s an unexpected rush at the risk of being listened to. of being caught.
carmen laps at her pussy, then closes his lips around her clit and sucks gently. he keeps doing this rhythmically, curling his fingers up into her core, continually switching between gentle licks and slurping and sucking. it’s a particularly deep thrust of his fingers that make her release her lip from her teeth and cry out loudly.
“ah-!”
carmy’s eyes dart upwards at the moan, watching as she claps a hand over her mouth in shock.
“what the fuck was that?” richie’s voice sounds after a pause.
carmen, without a care that they could be caught, continues eating the girl out, giving her a look that says “you are so getting it.”
“hello?? are you watching porn or something, you fuckin’ weirdo?”
he rolls his eyes at the accustation, why would he be watching porn while on the phone?
“no, i’m not watching fucking porn, richie. finish the vents tomorrow, i’m not arguing about this anymore. goodnight.” he grows increasingly impatient, and it reflects in the quickened pace of his fingers.
“wait, wait, one more thing-”
“fuck, what?!” carmen snaps.
the girl lets out a sound of exasperation, coming up on a perpetual orgasm then being denied every time he removes his mouth. the pressure is growing to be unbearable, and she softly whines a “carmyy.”
“i know, baby, i got you,” he whispers back, barely loud enough for her to hear. he brings his mouth to suck on her clit again while richie continues yapping about the fucking vents. fuck the vents.
carmy just watches the girl’s face, tuning out the voice from the phone. he studies how flushed she is—from her cheeks all the way down to her chest. how she seems like she’s barely holding on. how her legs begin to tremble. how she tries desperately to keep from making noise, pressing her lips together firmly, eyes screwed shut, breathing ragged.
the wet, squelching sound from her pussy begins to sound again, juices flooding down his fingers, soaking his hand. it feels unbelievable and she begins to lose patience.
“carm, hang up,” she cries, much louder than she means to. richie’s voice stops in its tracks.
“are you f-what the hell are you doing?” he asks, “who is that?”
“none of your fuckin’ buisness,” carmy snaps, “the central vent is the one that’s the most fucked up, so get it sealed and go the fuck home. and don’t fucking call me again.”
“yeah, yeah, whatever. you have fun over there, assh-” carmy hangs up the phone and tosses it onto the floor.
“what the fuck, carm?” she asks exasperatedly, face fully flushed.
“you’re not very good at staying quiet.”
“you were- ah!” she loses her sentence as he dips back down to swirl her clit with his tongue.
“i was what?” he mutters into her wetness, slipping his free hand back into his pants.
“you were doing that!” she cries, tangling her fingers in his curls.
“it feel good?” he laps at her cunt, rhythmically curling his fingers.
“yeah,” she cries, “please don’t stop again. please.”
a small smirk breaks on his face at how nicely she’s able to ask, even after being tormented with interruptions moments ago. he rewards her by continuing his steady pace, keeping everything constant, coaxing an orgasm out of her.
he squeezes the head of his cock, stroking the length of it faster now. she tastes so good, and the sounds she’s making are so pretty, it’s easy to lose himself in the pleasure.
she bucks her hips against his face, getting his nose wet. her grip on his hair tightens. her body feels hotter, hotter, hotter and-
“carm-!” she gasps, “fuck, baby, that’s so good. m’gonna cum. please keep doing that pleasepleasepleasebabyyesyesyes,” she babbles, grinding her hips against his face, practically riding his fingers which curl so deliciously inside of her. the man has to force himself to not stop and make a snarky comment about how cute she sounds when she’s all fucked out like this .
with a final few curls of his fingers and another swirl of his tongue, she’s coming completely undone. her head falls back and she rides out the orgasm shakily.
he bucks his hips into his hand with fervor, groaning into her pussy as he feels himself approaching an embarrassingly easy climax.
she clenches around his fingers, and he wriggles them as deeply as he can, swirling her clit with his tongue.
the girl lets out a cry, feeling herself be pushed far past her peak, hand flying down to grab his wrist.
“ah-carm, s’too much.”
“you can take it, yeah?” he growls, rutting into his hand. he’s so close. just needs to taste her for a little longer. there’s a hot pulse surging throughout his body.
the girl’s breathing becomes loud, a rapid inhale exhale inhale exhale.
at the labored sound, he takes some mercy on her and stops moving his fingers, focusing solely on lapping at her throbbing clit. his cock twitches in his hand, and with a few final frenzied pumps, he cums into his palm.
“fuck,” he groans, resting his head on her pelvis for a moment. the two of them bask in the post-orgasm high, catching their breaths. carmen’s jaw aches a bit. he plants one last kiss on her oversensitive clit, then pulls away, easing his fingers out slowly.
“kiss me,” she pleads breathily, feeling slightly dizzy from the orgasm.
“yeah? wanna taste yourself again?” his voice is low, kind of raspy.
she nods eagerly.
he leans over and, to her surprise, shoves his fingers in her mouth, swirling them around her tongue, making sure she gets every drop she left behind. the girl enthusiastically cleans his fingers, taking them deeply into her mouth.
the moment he eases them out, he dives into her lips hungrily, shoving his tongue in her mouth, tasting the heavenly mix of her saliva and arousal.
she grabs his face and licks her cum from the side of his lips, from his chin, gathering it before kissing him frantically again.
“mm, thank you,” she mutters against his lips sweetly.
“y’welcome.” he loves how she thanks him.
the taste is intoxicating, and he’s tempted to lick her pussy again just so the both of them can continue to indulge. but there’s a sticky mess on his hand and the inside of his boxers, so he pulls away from her lips, and grabs a tissue from the box on the coffee table.
the girl’s eyes widen in surprise as he eases his cum-covered hand out of his boxers.
“is that- did you..?”
he wipes the white substance off his hand, small small teasing the edge of his lips.
“uh…yeah. that was, um… that was really hot,” he admits.
“yeah, except the part where you put me on the phone with your employee.”
“nah…” he shakes his head, a smirk on his face, “i think you liked that.”
“wha-no i did not,” her eyes widen, “it was so embarrassing.” it was embarrassing, but it really turned her on—not that he needs to know that.
“embarrassing?”
“yes, embarrassing! get that dumb grin off your face, it was!”
this only makes him smile harder, beginning to laugh.
“yeah? that why you soaked my fuckin’ fingers?”
she sits up and reaches for her tank top, a bashful expression on her face.
“no. that’s just because it felt good.”
“you were squeezing me like crazy trying to stay quiet,” he continues to try and provoke her, liking how feisty she becomes.
“give me my panties back.” the girl rolls her eyes and ignores his statement.
“what panties?” he asks cluelessly.
“carmy.”
“yeah, baby?”
she scoffs and mutters a “whatever” before standing up and slipping on her shorts. pantiless. there’s a creeping blush on her face as she wonders what he even wants them for.
“so, tomorrow?” he asks before she can walk away, “for our date?”
she pauses, then nods.
“but we’re not going to your restaurant.”
“why not?” there’s a small smirk on his face.
she gives him a look that says, because you just ate me out on the phone with the guy that would probably be serving us, dumbass, but stays quiet, beginning to walk to the stairs
carmen lets out a chuckle, and stands to follow her after cleaning his hand off. he hooks the waistband of her shorts and pulls her back. hands coming to her hips to steady her, his chest flush against her back.
“c’mon, don’t be like that,” he leans down to kiss her neck. she can feel his smirk against her skin, “you hungry? y’eat yet?”
she shakes her head no, closing her eyes at the sensation of his kisses.
“no you didn’t eat or no you’re not hungry?” he asks, nipping the skin below her earlobe.
“both,” she exhales, leaning back against him, her hands coming overtop his. she suddenly notices how big they are splayed out over her hips.
“you haven’t eaten dinner yet?” he stops kissing her.
“m’not hungry,” she breathes, “keep kissing me there.”
he removes his hands from her hips and steps back. she lets out a noise of disappointment and turns to face him with a pout. he doesn’t see this, though, already walking to the kitchen and turning on the light to make her something.
“carmy,” she calls, following him, “it’s late. let’s just go to bed.”
he ignores her, opening their cabinets to retrieve a box of spaghetti.
“hey,” she grabs his arm, leaning to meet his eyes, “come on. i wanna cuddle.”
“we will. but i’m gonna make you dinner first.” his voice is firm. he pulls his arm away from her and reaches down to grab a pot.
he’s so demanding. but the gesture makes her feel incredibly affectionate towards the man, so it’s hard to be mad at.
as he fills the pot with water, the girl snakes her arms around his waist and hugs him from behind, pressing herself flush against his back.
“thank you,” she mumbles into his shirt, taking a deep breath of their shared laundry detergent. her hand sneaks under his shirt and she drags her fingers into the deep cut of his v line.
carmen reaches his hand behind him, caressing her hip without saying anything in response.
she pulls away after a moment and he puts the pot of water on to boil.
“you eating enough?”
his question catches her off guard.
“i- what?”
“you heard me.” he crosses his arms.
she stares at him for a moment, studying his tightly set jaw. the way it twitches a bit.
“yeah, i am.”
“yeah?” he looks like he doesn’t believe her.
and maybe she had been a bit forgetful lately, missing breakfast, oftentimes coming home too tired to make dinner and opting for a snack instead. she didn't think he had been so observant, though.
“yes.” her tone is quiet.
he just stares at the girl silently, striking blue eyes boring a hole into her. she crumbles under his gaze.
“i’ve just been…stressed. i don’t know. haven’t had much of an appetite.”
“what are you stressed about?”
“going back home i guess,” she admits quietly, shuffling on her feet.
he doesn’t respond, giving her the opportunity to elaborate without pressure.
“i just- it’s gonna be hard. y’know when i told you my mom and i have a complicated relationship?”
he nods, and she continues.
“yeah, that was like…understatement of the year.”
he nods, a knowing look on his face.
“yeah, no. i, uh…i know exactly what you mean.” he really does.
“and um, she’s sick. like, not entirely there,” she points to her head, “so she gets really mean. but then she can also be the nicest, most motherly person. its just…really unpredictable.”
it was almost uncanny, the way in which he pictures donna as she gives her description.
“i, uh…yeah. i get it,” he clears his throat, “i’ve dealt with someone like that my whole life.” he intently locks eyes with her, wishing he could say more to alleviate her dread.
“how did-how do you deal with it?” she asks quietly, after a moment.
“i, uh…i don’t really?” he rubs his neck, letting out a sardonic chuckle, “i haven’t talked to her in…months probably.”
“really?”
“yeah, i’ve, um…been kind of an asshole, actually. my sister is really the only one that deals with her.”
“you’re not an asshole,” she locks eyes with him, “well, sometimes you are. but not cause of that. that’s more like a…i dunno, a defense response.”
he laughs at her bluntness.
“so i am an asshole, just not for that?”
“correct.”
“how am i an asshole?”
“you’ve been trying to make me jealous since i got here.”
“not trying. it actually worked very well.” he has a stupid smile on his face when he says that.
“shut up!” she laughs, shoving her hands against his chest as hard as she can. he barely moves from it, grabbing both her wrists firmly with an amused look on his face. she struggles against his grip, trying to shake the feeling of arousal that comes with how easily he’s able to overpower her.
“why’re you so fiesty, huh?” he grins, pulling her closer.
“cause you’re a fucker, that’s why.” she tries again to pull her arms back, but to no avail. her face feels hot, and she becomes hyper aware of the fabric touching her skin, the hair on her neck, the tingle of the rough grip on her wrists. his face is much closer now, and she fights the urge to lean forward and indulge.
“yeah?”
“mhm,” her response overlaps his.
“what are you gonna do about it?” he mocks, “huh?”
her eyes flicker down his face. he has a stupid fucking smirk plastered on his lips. fuck, she wants to kiss him.
an idea pops into her head.
the girl leans forward, gently ghosting her lips over his own. her tongue darts out and she licks his bottom lip, then sucks it into her mouth and bites softly. then she gives him a soft and gentle barely there kiss.
she feels his grasp on her wrist loosen, so she splays her hand over his chest.
her lips hover over his for just a moment more, and then she shoves him.
carmy stumbles back slightly, less prepared that time, hands coming behind him to steady himself on the counter. when he meets her eyes again he has a dark glint in his eyes. almost like anger, but hungrier.
the next thing she knows, he yanks her into his chest, grabs her hip and roughly bends her over the countertop.
she just thinks to herself, finally.
carmen tugs her hips back until her forearms fall to the counter and she arches her spine. until she’s flush with his pelvis and he’s pressing his achingly hard cock against her ass.
“such a bratty fuckin’ girl,” his tone is rough, strained. “you know that? fuckin’ had it with you.”
“i’m n-” she cuts herself off with a gasp as he harshly tugs the waistband of her shorts up, wedging the fabric between her cheeks and giving himself a nice view of the supple skin.
“you’re what?” he smooths his hand over her ass, watching her arch into his touch. watching as she opens her mouth to say something, then close, staying silent and shuffling her hips against his groin.
carmen lets out a groan—half frustration, half arousal, smoothing his hands over her hamstrings and firmly squeezing the soft flesh before trailing back up to her ass.
“you doing this on purpose?” both hands grab her ass, kneading, pulling her closer against his hardness.
no response. she can’t, not without moaning.
“hmm?” he shoves his hips forward into her, “you trying to get a reaction outta me tonight? or are y’really just that fucking bratty?” the hand gripping her flesh squeezes harder.
“i-mmh…that-…keep doing that.” she chooses to ignore his question.
“answer me.”
still nothing.
“you want me to spank you? cause that’s what’s gonna happen if you keep this shit up.”
his words make her stomach flip. of course she does. she hides her smile in her arms and stays quiet, pushing back into him. hoping he’ll stick to his words.
carmen raises his hand, and cracks it down on her right cheek, grabbing the flesh immediately after to ease some of the sting.
“ah-!” she grips the countertop, arching her spine. his hand leaves behind a hot, tingling sensation, flooding through her body like a wave.
“y’okay?” he tries to sound caring but his tone comes out rough, heavy with arousal.
“yeah.” better than okay. incredibly horny, actually. “that hurt?” his hand smooths over the reddening skin.
“no,” she shakes her head, pushing back against him again, “thought you were gonna spank me.”
she cranes her neck trying to get a look at the man. his pupils are blown, face is rosy, and when she meets his eyes there’s a dangerous glint to them.
he wedges her shorts up higher, exposing more of her ass, then smacks her in the same spot without warning. harder this time.
“fuck-!” she gasps sharply. it hurts, but in a way that has her pressing her thighs together desperately to try and get some relief.
“can you take one more, pretty girl?”
“yeah,” she whines enthusiastically, shuffling her hips back against his groin.
“yeah? y’so tough, baby.” his voice has a slight mocking edge to it as he does everything in his power to not yank the shorts down her legs and fuck her into the counter.
“just…shut up and do it.” she tries to mask her eagerness, but it doesn’t work very well.
he scoffs, and rubs his large hand over her supple skin. when he feels her relax, he raises it and cracks down on her other cheek.
she partially muffles the loud cry by biting down on her forearm, feeling a few tears begin to form in her eyes.
“you have such a cute ass, y’know that?” he squeezes both of her cheeks in tandem, pulling them apart, pushing them together, “can already see the handprints forming.” his voice is low and rough.
“wh-really?” her brain feels fuzzy with desire as she tries to switch gears.
“you wanna see?”
she nods her head frantically, butterflies arising at the thought.
carmen pulls his phone out of his back pocket and holds it over her, snapping a picture with a low groan.
“look back at me,” he demands softly.
she does, peering over her right shoulder to see him holding the camera facing her. the embarrassment makes her face feel hot, but she lets him take the picture anyway, looking into the lense with a small pout on her face.
“so fucking pretty,” he growls, lowering the phone and clicking on the picture he took, admiring it for a moment before turning the phone so she could see.
it was quite the picture—cherry red handprints over her round ass, shorts wedged up so far they look like underwear, the curves of her body accentuated by the angle.
carmy swipes to the left and reveals the photo of her looking back at the camera, all flushed cheeks and pouty lips and misty eyes. she knows she should probably feel embarrassed, but seeing herself like that just makes the throbbing between her legs intensify.
carmen turns off the phone and puts it back in his pocket. he leans over and grabs her face, studying her with furrowed brows before leaning down kissing her firmly.
“you okay?” another kiss, “really?”
she nods, eagerly reciprocating the kiss, moaning a soft “mhm” against his lips.
“didn’t hurt too bad?” his brows are furrowed, their movements beginning to quicken. she slips her tongue into his mouth and she begins to kiss him faster, losing herself in his lips.
carmy reciprocates for a moment before muttering a gentle “hey,” pulling back a bit, “answer me.” his gaze flickers over the sheen on her cheeks, left behind from a few stray tears.
her eyes flutter open, fighting the urge to not chase his lips.
“it didn’t hurt,” she affirms hazily, “felt good. can you put it in? please?”
“jesus, christ” he groans, dipping back in for another kiss, “want me to fuck you? needy fuckin’ girl.”
she nods with a small, bashful smile and softly nips at his bottom lip, fighting the urge to bite harder.
carmen straightens to his previous position behind her and slips his fingers beneath the hem of her bunched up shorts. he pulls them to the side to reveal her glistening pussy, letting out a sharp exhale at the sight. he’s about to reach out and touch her when she gasps.
“carm, the water.”
it angrily bubbles and pours down the sides of the pot, sizzling when it splashes onto the flames.
“fuck,” he pulls away from her, quickly moving to turn off the burner. “stay right there.”
and she would’ve, had another fucking phone not started ringing.
the girl cries out his name frustratedly, just wanting him to come back over and fuck her brains out.
“it’s not mine this time,” carmy defends, adjusting the tent of his pants. he’s so hard it’s almost painful, increasingly eager to get back behind her.
she huffs and straightens, readjusting the uncomfortably wedged-up shorts as she follows the sound of the ringer. when she retrieves her phone from between the couch cushions, her heart drops at the contact name.
mom.
in a single moment it’s like the air gets sucked from her lungs. her skin stops tingling with that warm heat, body stops buzzing with pleasure—all the good feelings flood from her suddenly.
carmen wipes down the stove, drying the water that had boiled over before refilling the pot and turning the heat back on. his roommate talks in a hushed, urgent tone in the living room, and he tries to refrain from curiously moving closer and eavesdropping. curiosity almost gets the better of him, but a few more moments pass and he hears delicate footsteps approaching.
he looks up, and catches the sight of her tear-streaked face. her big, sad eyes. a pit forms in his stomach.
“everything okay?” he’s unable to hide the concern in his tone.
she doesn’t say anything. she can’t. so she just rushes forward and crashes into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.
“hey,” he soothes, tightly reciprocating the hug, “what happened?” he kisses the side of her head.
it takes her a minute before she’s able to verbalize, just wanting to nuzzle herself as far into his chest as she can, wishing she could just disappear into him completely.
he says her name, pulling away slightly to get a look at her sweet, sad face. “what’s goin’ on, huh?”
“i’m going back next week,” it’s hard to make eye contact with him, so she looks to the side with blurry vision.
“what?” it’s like a punch in the stomach.
“i-…my mom,” she sighs exasperatedly, “she’s just getting worse,” at this point the tears stream down her cheeks.
he cups her face with both hands, wiping them away with his thumbs. he just stares at her, not knowing exactly what to say to make this shitty situation better.
“i’m-….fuck, i’m sorry.” he puts his forehead on hers, “m’so so sorry.” he doesn’t know exactly what he’s apologizing for—the state of her mother or the dread of her sudden departure. either way, there’s this overwhelming feeling of loss trying to wrap his head around how soon next week really is.
“m’gonna go to bed,” she mutters, tightly closing her eyes to stop the flow of tears, nose brushing against his.
“you don’t wanna eat with me?”
she gives a small shake of her head, having lost her appetite at the news.
carmy wants to push it. but she just looks so tired and sad, he figures it’s better not to. his hand comes to the back of her neck, and he pulls her into a bear hug, kissing the side of her head.
“go wait in my bed for me,” another kiss, “i’ll be up in a bit.”
“i need a shower,” she mutters into his neck, “you made me all…sticky.”
he can’t help but let out a humorous exhale, finding a small bit of relief from her words.
“yeah? sorry about that.” he has a soft, barely there smile on his face.
“you know i love you, carmy?”
her quiet confession stops his train of thought. stops the noise of it all. it kind of feels like it even stops his heart, just for a second.
it was something she hadn’t yet said to him without the hazy high of lust. something she had been waiting on until it felt real.
carmen eases away from the tight hug, getting a good look at her face. she’s entirely genuine, brows furrowed and eyes glossy, searching his expression for reassurance. he dips forward and kisses her softly, hand caressing her cheek.
“i know,” his thumb traces along her jaw, “i love you too.”
she turns her head to the side and kisses his hand.
“you gonna come to california with me?” she softly bites his thumb.
“yeah, baby.” he nods. it’s a lie, and they both know that.
sometimes it’s easier to fantasize about what could be than accept what never will.
-
it’s far too late into the night by the time carmen has eaten and showered. he blearily trudges down the hall and pushes his door open. and like a breath of fresh air, there she was. cuddled up in his blankets, face buried in his pillow. it feels incredibly domestic, and he finds himself wishing he could come home to this every night of his life.
carmen eases into bed slowly as to not wake her, shuffling his body against hers. then he just watches her for a bit.
he watches her chest rise and fall. watches the way her lips slightly part with her heavy breaths. she looks so peaceful unconscious, like there isn’t a worry in the world.
he thinks about how selfishly he wants to keep that placating expression on her face. wants to keep her to himself. thinks about how selfishly he wishes she didn’t even have a family to return to—how fucked up is that? it’s almost surreal, staring at her sleeping form, mourning her loss while she’s still in front of him. tangible and soft and beautiful and sleeping right there.
carmen reaches out and strokes her cheek at the thought, then leans in to press a gentle kiss to her resting lips. it doesn’t make him feel better like he thought it would.
it’s been a whole month of waiting for chapter 4 😭
we are starving 🙏🏼🙏🏼
i’m sorryy i know!
in my defense i just got discharged from being institutionalized for 6 weeks LOL so the chapter has been kind of low priority & my mind has definitely been elsewhere. but we are 15k words strong!!! i just need to finish a few more scenes.
to be honest i’ve kind of been getting a lot of hate messages about don’t call my name </3 i understand the angst may not be for everyone but i don’t think i deserve rude asks 😔 it really hinders my motivation to write
within this next week i predict!!! it will be nastier than ever and hot and sexy <33 thank you for your continued support <3
finally i read nectar of the gods yesterday and jESUS CHRIST you wizard if i could beg you to not stop writing dont call my name and carmy in general in person on my knees i would. i dont have words to express the out of body experience of it. that said in gonna read it now again xo
wow wow WOW thank you!! it makes my whole week when i get messages like this. i am so so happy you are enjoying it.
i will probably write for carm a little bit after dcmn ends because i have a fever for JAW, but i may need a switch up soon. would people be wanting to see me write for other characters?! i've been watching the tlou and joel miller?……phew.
send me ideas about potential characters to write for if you’d like :)
hi my beloved i hope ur final part is going well 💖💖💖 take ur time pls dont feel pressured to rush
🔊‼️everyone my beloved val says take my time so i WILL
actually though thank you so much for saying that bc i started school last week so i’ve had v little time for the final chapter. we are at 2.6k currently and it should end up around 7 or 8k!
so i’m sorry to everyone who is waiting anxiously for the last chapter BUT there is so much angst and love and sexy arguing and dirty talk coming with!!! (i am being a massive whore in this final chapter)
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annaxmalina
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blakekathryn
dededos
janainaart
areudirty
