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i can't control myself because i don't know how and they love me for it, honestly i'll be here for a while

[timbllr]

[visualie]

bg variation

[posthumanwanderings]

[astro-vee]

[estradiol]

It’s time to master all 4 elements sisters!

[juliepowers]

[empathyissues]

ok i honestly shouldve made this a while ago. but here it is since a bitch decided to release info that shouldnt have been released. yes, i was very abusive towards xiii, and when we were dating, i acted selfishly, and i took anger out on him, and i got drunk and hit him on several occasions. sadly, i don’t even remember doing it, and i dont even know what i said to him.. but now all i know is that he is really hurt by my actions and all i feel is regret. i love him so much and with all my heart, and it really kills me to know i actually hit him, and said awful things to him, and left him completely unsure of whether or not i actually loved him. he’s already been through so much, and the last thing i ever wanted was to make him feel even worse. i’m apologizing from the bottom of my heart, and i swear to god i will never lay a hand on him ever again. he is really suffering because of me, and i know this, and now all i want to do is see him recover and grow, and if he chooses to include me in his life, then i’ll happily oblige so i can make this right in any way i can. we are working a lot out, and apparently i’ve made progress but fkjghf i’m still feeling so awful to know what i did. and he’s also being extremely patient and kind with me, and because he’s such a kind and loving guy, he’s helping me realize what it is i need to fix. also i made sure he was ok with me posting this, because since he’s a good fucking person and he was worried i’d get yelled at. i dont mind people attacking me for this, because it was really unforgivable. i know we love eachother though, and i’ve made terrible mistakes, but there’s still hope for me and there’s definitely hope for xiii.

[empathyissues]

im adding onto this. i havent improved, at least not to the extent i really should have. and im sure everyone has seen evidence of that, esp with what i said about xiii, who i abused, behind his back. i dont want this to come off like im trying to justify anything ive done, or make nice, but i wanted to state clearly what’s going to happen. i obviously cant handle myself, so im doing everything i can to get help with this, and taking a break from using tumblr at all right now, and other social medias scarcely. idk.. i need time to consider everything ive done and how it really impacted the people i care about, so that it never happens again. that means talking with a therapist and actually taking care of myself, and at least having a healthier relationship with the friends i do have, irl and online, who will tell me if i step out of line at all.

i apologized in full to xiii, however since the apology is for him, he said it didnt need to be publicly posted. if you want to read it you can pm me or ask xiii for screenshots. i mean like i said, serious action needs to be taken on my part so that i dont hurt other people in the future, and it will. thats all

[domesticabuser]

ab my relationship with babydollfactory/dopaminehypothesis/empathyissues

and for everyone that was concerned about it

this is such a hard post to write like. ik its gonna be a trainwreck. but uh, i cut off contact with nero tonight. we’re not following each other anywhere anymore and i said i wanted to distance myself from him now. this was an extremely hard decision to make, and one i’ve wanted to make since…like, december. its been so hard because im still trying to deal with the physical abuse and manipulation i endured throughout our relationship, especially when he was living with me through the summer and fall. from the very beginning of our relationship, i knew that he was an outed abuser, and i wanted to help him get better and i guess i wanted to. fix him. because thats just, my nature i guess. but it ended up like …january 2018 - january 2019 i saw little to no change in his behavior, and it even got worse. 

and im sorry. im really sorry to my (ex)friends, last year, that tried to tell me that nero was bad news, and that i should get myself the fuck out of that situation, and i just … brushed off their advice because i really thought i could change something. i thought i could save someone. people reached out to me and i just pushed them away. people that genuinely cared about me and didn’t want to see me go down this path, because they saw the manipulation/abuse that was happening to me, and i turned a blind eye to it and i lost a lot of friends because of this. i feel immensely guilty for this and there’s no way i could possibly forgive myself, but im sorry that i made the people that really cared about me suffer by making them witness my unhealthy relationship. for a lot of people,… the majority of my friends, it was too much to take, and they had to cut me off. so, i only had nero. for a long, long, time, i only had nero. that is why it was so hard for me to finally do this. i didn’t exactly have a support system to fall back on to anymore if i lost nero. i still feel that way, but despite that, im deciding that it’s time to take care of myself and give up and give in, and to stop accepting this kind of behavior from him. I felt it was time for me to move forward and try to cope with the abuse i went through, and that I cannot be so attached to him, for my own health and recovery. im still really scared, but from now on im going to try my best to spend time with my other friends, and build a new support system…im still not sure how exactly im supposed to get over this trauma, but. i know i still have friends who care about me and that’s whats important right now….

Uh…….i feel like there was more i wanted to say but. that’s. the gist of it i guess. i am fucking horrified about how this is going to effect my mental health but i still feel like i made the right decision tonight, no matter how hard it was, and how hard itll be … i just want to be able to get over this trauma im still so sorry about all the controversy this caused and all the insensitive shit i did when i was dating him and felt obligated to defend his actions

[thingsfromthedirt]

[cwtcha-deactivated20180224]

[gibbearish]

people shouldn’t have to pimp themselves off to the military to afford college wtf

[capitalism-and-analytics]

They don’t…lol

[gibbearish]

actually almost every teacher i’ve ever had has suggested joining the military because they’ll pay for college and almost half of my class is either doing it or considering it but i hope that rock you live under has air conditioning

[aphony-cree]

I went to a poor school and they did this. Everyone I know who went to a poor school did this. But the people I know who went to an upper middle class or higher school didn’t experience this

It’s almost like the Military targets poor people

[rat-boiy]

Has this been done yet?

[orbsonly]

sightings in hungary via wanjunk

[entierradefrikis]

[punkfashion]

https://amzn.to/2z9eMzl

[gentlespike]

[femcassidy]

good news everyone. crows no longer need instructions to build tools and have started building them from memory, as well as passing the knowledge onto future generations of crows. oops!

[femcassidy]

better news everyone. crows have learned to construct these tools from unrelated items! they no longer need to follow the original blueprint they were given and are able to improvise using their surroundings.