Empress Jezebel's Symposium of Wonders

[desires-of-a-dominant-man-deact]

BDSM Links And Resources

I thought I would update the list of BDSM links and resources I posted a while ago, as some links were no longer working and I had several new ones to add, including a list of books. These should be particularly helpful to those who are new to BDSM and looking to explore D/s relationships, as the best way to go about that is to first read everything you can and then read even more! Not only will this allow you to educate yourself, help keep you safe and avoid any potential mistakes or regrets, but also the more you understand something, the less intimidating it will seem.

If you have anything to add, please don’t hesitate to let me know and I will update this list, in particular if there any books that a submissive might find helpful or informative, as most of the books I have read or included are intended for Dominants.

Note: For the sake of consistency and readability, I have used capitals throughout this document and have not used lower case when referring to submissives or slaves.

Websites:

Babygirls ‘n’ Daddy Doms: Website dedicated to littles, babygirls and Daddy Doms, with a lot of useful information on the subject.

Collarme: A free BDSM dating website and community, that is probably the most popular and a better option than the commercial alternatives.

DS Arts: Academy of DS Arts, fairly self explanatory.

Evil Monk: Ambrosio’s BDSM Website, featuring many useful articles.

Fetlife: An online BDSM community that I would highly recommend and which is perhaps best described as Facebook for the kinky, allowing users to create a profile, publish photos or writing and join interest groups where you can ask questions.

Kink Academy: An online resource with many educational and instructional videos on various aspects of BDSM, although users must pay a small fee to access all of the content.

Submissive Guide: As the name suggests, this is an online resource for submissives.

The Iron Gate: A general BDSM online resource, with many aticles, essays and even stories on the subject.

Dating and Relationships:

10 Principles For Healthy 24/7 D/s And M/s (Source: sexgeek.wordpress.com)

Difference of Dynamics in BDSM (Source: the-little-kitten.tumblr.com)

Finding Your Dominant (Source: asubmissivesjourney.com)

How To Find A Partner (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 3 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

So You Want Your Boyfriend To Dominate You (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate Her (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

The Unfortunate But Common Misconceptions About DD/lg Relationships (Source: a-lolitas-life.tumblr.com)

Play:

Consent Is Mandatory And Non-Negotiable (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)

Food Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)

How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

Initial Steps Into Orgasm on Command Training (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Rules and Tasks for Building Confidence (Source: themostdangerousplaything.tumblr.com)

Tools of Consent in BDSM (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Training in D/s - Why? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Training in D/s - How? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Training in D/s - Thoughts And Concerns (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Wax Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)

Safety:

Basics Of Safe, Sane And Consensual Power Exchange (Source: Molly Devon / the-iron-gate.com)

Common Sense (Source: Sean R. Powell / the-iron-gate.com)

Emotional Safety (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Offline/Online BDSM Safety Rules (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Ouch Is Not A Safe Word: Safe Words, Limits, and Scene Protocol (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Rules For Meeting Strangers (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)

Safewords and Safesigns 101 (Source: kinkology.tumblr.com)

S.S.C. VS R.A.C.K. (Source: Justin Medlin / the-iron-gate.com)

Checklists, Communication and Negotiation:

BDSM Play Partner Check List (Source: Sovereign House / the-iron-gate.com)

BDSM Scene Negotiations (Source: daddyvinnie.tumblr.com)

Can I Get That In Writing: Basics of Negotiations (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Communication (Source: submissivesupportgroup.tumblr.com)

If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Negotiation Forms (Source: Jay Wiseman, SM 101: A Realistic Introduction / greenerypress.com)

What Are Negotiations Good For? (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Sub Drop and Aftercare:

Aftercare for submissives (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Aftercare for Dominants (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Aftercare for Switches (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Emergency Self-Administered Aftercare (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Sub Drop (Source: David Williams / subshelpingsubs.tripod.com)

Sub Drop and Aftercare (Source: desires-of-a-domimant-man.tumblr.com)

Dominance and Dominants:

A Dominant is NOT… (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Advice to a Novice Dom (Source: Washington Sexuality University / the-iron-gate.com)

Advice to a Novice Dominant (Source: cherhatton.tumblr.com)

An Open Letter To A Novice Dom (Source: evilmonk.org)

Qualities of A Successful Dominant (Source: Polly Peachum / the-iron-gate.com)

Daddy Doms: They’re Not What You Think (Source: edenfantasys.com)

Domination for Nice Guys (Source: Franklin Veaux / the-iron-gate.com)

How To Spot A Non Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Learning To Be A Dom (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts - Part One: Dominants (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

The Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

What Is A Daddy Dom? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)

What Makes A Good Dominant (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)

What Should A Dominant Be (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Submission and Submissives:

10 Considerations For Inexperienced Subs (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)

A Submissive Bill of Rights (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

A Submissive’s Creed (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

A Submissive’s Ethics (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Introduction To Submission (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)

Learning to Trust Your Instincts (Source: bewildbetruebekinkybeyou.tumblr.com)

Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts- Part 2: Submissives/Slaves (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Some Rules For The Submissive (Source: daddylookingforhisbaby.tumblr.com)

Submissive Owner’s Manual (Source: youmadememe.tumblr.com)

Ten Tips For The Novice, Heterosexual submissive Woman (Source: Jay Wiseman / the-iron-gate.com)

Warning Signs for Submissives (Source: RC Bauer / the-iron-gate.com)

What Is A Babygirl? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)

Books:

BDSM: The Naked Truth by Dr Charley Ferrer

Dear Raven and Joshua: Questions and Answers About Master/Slave Relationships by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera

Devil in the Details I: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - The Master, The Slave, The Power by LT Morrison

Devil in the Details II: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Mastery Refine: The Issues, The Skills by LT Morrison

Devil in the Details III: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Sustainable Structure and Traning by LT Morrison

Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame, Gloria Brame and Jon Jacobs

Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves and Their Relationships by Dan and Dawn Williams

Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert Rubel

Master/slave Relations: Communications 401 by Robert Rubel

Master/slave Relations: Solutions 402, Living in Harmony by Robert Rubel

Protocols: A Variety of Views by Robert Rubel

Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Phillp Miller and Molly Devon

SM101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman

The Control Book by Peter Masters

The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren

The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.

The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino

This Curious Human Phenomenon: An Exploration of Some Uncommonly Explored Aspects of BDSM by Peter Masters

Where I Am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker

[filthyobediantslut]

Sharing again for those who missed it. Lots of great resources.

[empressjezebeldiamond]

A great resource list.

[richarddorlanf]

[dawnatlast86]

IS THIS HEAVEN, IT IS TO ME, HOW UTTERLY DELIGHTFUL

[dawnatlast86]

JULY 2017

[empressjezebeldiamond]

Femininity perfected. Who wants this?

😈💜

[travelersrest]

🪽🩷🪽

[switchingdesires]

Building your Bimbo personality:

Intelligence is about 50% genetic and 50% environmental, that’s why it’s important for you to create an environment for yourself, where your mind can really starve thrive in. We’ll start out with your hobbies and interests and we’ll cover more minor things some time else.

Much of this is based on a simple garbage in garbage out principle, if all the input your brain get’s is silly nonsense, you shouldn’t be surprised, if the output won’t be of much intellectual significance either. The second core principle of this is use it or lose it, if you stop using those silly brain wrinkles of yours, you shouldn’t be to surprised, when they eventually go bye bye forever, since maintaining them would just be a waist of energy for your body.

All of this also plays an important part in your impression management, when someone tells us they’re interested in philosophy and politics, we’ll perceive and treat that person very differently from some who’s main interests are make up, shopping, going to the gym and travelling. This impression alone will make sure, that people will perceive you as less competent and they’ll be less likely to be interested in your „opinion“ about serious topics, which will further starve your mind from any material that might cognitively challenge you (Well anything will become challenging to you at some point, but that’s another story).

So let’s get started with your new hobbies:

1. Makeup: this is essential for any good bimbo! Watch lots of makeup tutorials and follow a bunch of beauty influencers and other cute girls and put yourself on journey to become better eye-candy. The constant exposure to all of those perfect girls, will also help to keep your ego in check, as a cute side effect.

2. Shoes & Fashion: start with upgrading your selection as much as possible and talk about them, to let everyone know this is something you’re totally into… Post about cute shoes and outfits you saw online, frequently mention how cute a certain outfit of you looked with certain shoes, reblog posts with cute shoes or clothes and compliment the poster or just talk about how cute they look.

3. Astrology: This one is just amazing, not only will your constant babbling, about how much of a gemini thing this or that is, make you look totally ridiculous, this also serves as an excellent chewing toy for your intellectually starved mind, keeping it busy with illusionary connections and false complexity, preventing it from engaging in any deeper analysis. Make sure to always ask people about their sign, when you’re talking to them for the first time, get overly exited over their answer and tell them how this or that of something they did is like sooo typical for their sign. Post about your horoscope and frequently reblog posts you finde hot and explain why thats is like totally such a thing for people of your sign to be attracted to that. The really adorable aspect about this is, that the human mind is so desperate in it’s search for connections, to understand the world and make predictions about the future, that you can easily fool yourself into actually perceiving the world like that, especially when considering your total lack of engagement with any intellectually stimulating content.

4. Reality TV: start watching shallow reality shows as your primary source of entertainment, this will also help in keeping your mind from engaging with topics that aren’t appropriate for your silly girly brain. You’re allowed to watch more complex things though, but only if they contain a hot actor and you’ll get yourself horny and edge, before watching, to make you’re more focused on the important things. Your discussion about the movie will always be limited to how cute certain actors looked, any plot related questions will always be answered with something like: „uuum yeah… like… I didn’t really geeet that part? You know?“

5. Edging: Most people probably wouldn’t consider this a hobby, but it will be a very important one to you, making you more docile, submissive and desperate, while constantly keeping your mind clouded in a cute pink fog of horniness. You can still allow yourself to orgasm, at the beginning, but eventually this should become totally of limits to you, unless you’re specifically allowed to. Frequently post about your edging sessions, since they’re such an essential part of keeping you dumb and desperate, and publicly keep track of your latest orgasm, while gradually increasing the time in between them.

[empressjezebeldiamond]

Nice bimbo practices.

[every-alice]

[gladtobeagirl]

This actually happened to me. I was caught by my parents wearing my sister’s clothes. Initially I was terrified at what their reaction would be. But I needn’t have worried. That day set me upon the road that has led to me becoming the woman I am today. I have received nothing but love and support from my parents from that day on. I love you Mum and Dad. Thank-you XX

Oh, and my sister says she had known for years!

[dawny262]

Yes, please don’t be your child’s first bully.  This is a heartwarming post that should be true for all of us…

[empressjezebeldiamond]

I was just reading a question on Quora about how can a parent get their daughter to stop talking about their dysphoria. DO NOT BE THAT PARENT!

[dick-winters-blog1]

my masterlist of 'how to life’ tips

Cleaning & Tidying

Make your bed in the morning. It takes seconds, and it’s worth it.

Reset to zero each morning. 

Use the UFYH 20/10 system for clearing your shit. 

Get a reed diffuser and stick it on your windowsill. 

Have a ‘drop-zone’ box where you dump anything and everything. At the beginning/end of the day, clear it out and put that shit away.

Roll your clothes, don’t fold them - or fold them vertically.

Automate your chores. Have a cleaning schedule and assign 15mins daily to do whatever cleaning tasks are set for that day. Set a timer and do it - once the timer is up, finish the task you’re on and leave it for the day. 

Fold your clothes straight out of the tumble dryer (if you use one), whilst they’re still warm. This minimises creases and eliminates the need for ironing. 

Clean your footwear regularly and you’ll feel like a champ. 

Organisation & Productivity

Learn from Eisenhower’s Importance/Urgency matrix. 

Try out the two-minute rule and the Pomodoro technique.

Use. A. Planner. (Or Google Calendar, if that’s more your thing.)

Try bullet journalling.

Keep a notebook/journal/commonplace book to dump your brain contents in on the regular. 

Set morning alarms at two-minute intervals rather than five, and stick your alarm on the other side of the room. It’s brutal, but it works. 

Set three main goals each day, with one of them being your #1 priority. Don’t overload your to-do list or you’ll hit overload paralysis and procrastinate. 

If you’re in a slump, however, don’t be afraid to put things like “shower” on your to do list - that may be a big enough goal in itself, and that’s okay. 

Have a physical inbox - a tray, a folder, whatever. If you get a piece of paper, stick it in there and sort through it at the end of the week.

Consider utilising the GTD System, or a variation of it.

Try timeboxing. 

Have a morning routine, and guard that quiet time ferociously. 

Save interesting-looking shit to instapaper. Have a set time where you read through the stuff you saved to instapaper and save the shit that you like from instapaper to evernote (or bookmark it properly). 

During your working hours, put on your footwear, even if you’re sat on your bed. (Why?)

Have a folder for all your important documents and letters, organised by topic (e.g. medical, bank, university, work, identification). At the front of this folder, have a sheet of paper with all the key information written on it, such as your GP’s details, your passport details, driving licence details, bank account number, insurance number(s), and so on. 

Try using StayFocusd and RescueTime (or similar apps/extensions). (I promise, you’ll find that you’re not as busy as you think you are.)

Schedule working time and down time alike, in the balance that works for you. 

Money

Have. A. God. Damn. Budget. 

Use a money tracker like toshl, mint, or splitwise. Enter all expenses asap! (You will forget, otherwise.)

Have a ‘money date’ each week, where you sort through your finances from the past seven days and then add it to a spreadsheet. This will help you identify your spending patterns and whether your budget is actually working or not. 

Pack your own frickin’ lunch like a grown-up and stop buying so many takeaway coffees. Keep snacks in your bag. 

Go to your bank and take out £100 in £1 coins (or w/e your currency is). That shit will come in useful for all kinds of things and you’ll never be short on change for the bus or the laundry. 

Food & Cooking

Know how to cook the basics: a starch, a protein, a vegetable, and a sauce.

Simple, one-pot meals (“a grain, a green, and a bean”) are a godsend. 

Dried porcini mushrooms make a fantastic stock to cook with. 

Batch cook and freeze. Make your own ‘microwave meals’. 

Buy dried goods to save money - rice and beans are a pittance. (Remember to soak dried beans first, though!) 

Consider Meatless Mondays; it’s healthier, cheaper, and more environmentally friendly.

Learn which fruits and vegetables are cheapest at your store, and build a standard weekly menu around those. (Also remember that frozen vegetables are cheap and healthy.) 

Learn seasoning combinations. Different seasoning, even with the exact same ingredients, can make a dish seem completely new. 

Don’t buy shit for a one-off recipe, especially if you won’t use it all. If you really want to try out a recipe, see if a friend would be interested in making it with you, then pool for the expenses. 

Make your own goddamned pasta sauce. Jamie Oliver has a decent recipe here, but the beauty of tomato sauce is that you can totally wing it and adapt the fuck out of it. 

Misc

Have a stock email-writing format. 

Want to start running, but find it boring? Try Zombies, Run!. 

Keep a goddamn first aid kit and learn how to use it. 

Know your OTC pain relief. 

Update your CV regularly. 

Keep a selection of stamps and standard envelopes for unexpected posting needs. (It happens more regularly than you would think!) 

Some final words of advice:

Organisation is not a goal in itself, it is a tool. Don’t get caught up in the illusion of productivity and get distracted from the actual task at hand. 

Routines and habits will help you. Trust in them.

You have the potential to be an organised and productive person, just as much as anybody else. It just takes practice. 

[empressjezebeldiamond]

Life hacks.

[simpfordani01-deactivated202210]

[femdom-boi-deactivated20221013]

Both pls 👉👈🥹

[empressjezebeldiamond]

They usually go hand in hand. Increasingly bigger plugs while your clitty shrinks requiring smaller and smaller cages.

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: Productivity Tips To Help You Master Your Day Like A Queen

Anticipation is Key

Always have a plan with the tasks and timetable laid out

Keep your environment free of distractions (or at least out of reach)

Tackle tasks in bite-sized amounts to gain momentum

Restrict time spent to maximize productivity

Remember the big picture (and reward yourself!)

Always have a plan with the tasks and timetable laid out:

Plan out what you need to do, the deadline (or scheduled date/time), and set a date with yourself to complete the task. For work, always have a planner where you can plan out your week with your large/small projects.

Break large projects down into phases (ex. sections of a presentation, separate excel sheets, pages of a book, word count on an article, etc.). Divide these phases into sections that never take more than 1-2 hours. Only commit yourself to do one section at a time (if possible, only one per day). This allows you to have less anxiety about starting the task because you already have half of the work – the game plan – done for you.

With smaller tasks, divide them into important, urgent, and less important or urgent. Batch all of the urgent ones to clear your mind. Only commit to one important small task at a time (ex. an important email). Take a short break (get a glass of water, go to the bathroom, etc. ) in-between small important tasks to take the pressure off and your mind clear. Keep a running list of less important/urgent tasks. Schedule a time to batch these once a day/a couple of times a week as needed.

With chores or errands, make a schedule for when you will do these tasks to ensure you stick to your routine (ex. full-house vacuuming Tuesday and Saturday, laundry and grocery restock Sunday, deep kitchen clean Monday, big drugstore hauls Wednesday, etc.)

Keep your environment free of distractions (or at least out of reach):

Get in the zone. Keep your phone out of sight while working (unless you use your phone to work or you're on the phone for a work call, of course). Use a focus playlist (I love the EDM instrumental study playlist or any of the ADHD playlists by Jason Lewis - Mind Amend on Youtube. My favorite one is linked HERE). Have a glass of water (and coffee or tea if you choose), tissues, and lip balm in arm's reach, so you don't have to get up and break focus for these menial tasks. When cleaning or exercising, always have a curated playlist ready to go.

Tackle tasks in bite-sized amounts to gain momentum:

Use the two-minute rule. If you can do a task in 2 minutes or less, do it immediately – within a minute of thinking of it (or set a reminder for when you're home to do the task and then do it immediately. The 5-Second Rule and Atomic Habits explain why this works so well).

Only force yourself to do a task for 10 minutes. Stop after this allocated time if you can't stand doing it anymore, feel drained, or continuously lose focus. Your body and mind need rest if this happens. Usually, though, once you start writing, cleaning, reading, etc. for at least 10 minutes, you'll continue doing it for more time until at least 30-60 minutes of work is completed. Read Atomic Habits and The Artist's Way to learn more about this.

The Pomodoro Technique (working in 25-minute blocks with 5-minute breaks in-between) is great for clearing your inbox, organizing an Excel sheet, or completing any other repetitive, monotonous, or administrative tasks).

Restrict time spent to maximize productivity:

Focus and productivity are mental muscles. So, like in the gym, use time over tension. Set a timer for 10, 20, 30, or 60 minutes – depending on the task and your level of energy – and see how much focused, uninterrupted work you can do within this timeframe. This exercise can gamify otherwise boring, overwhelming, or tedious tasks and help them take less time overall. Rinse and repeat this practice like doing sets at the gym until you've completed the task or the amount of the project you decided to get done for the day.

Remember the big picture (and reward yourself!)

Always keep your goals top of mind. Revise them daily in the morning like a form of daily affirmations. Visualize yourself working to achieve this goal (sitting at the computer typing, cleaning, working out, etc.) with ease. Picture yourself in a calm state and that you're in a constant flow state. Visualize the moment of achievement. Relish in the feeling of satisfaction to prime yourself to start the task. Remind yourself that doing this one task gets you a bit closer to this bliss point. Make each goal into a source of emotional edging – each task will get you closer and closer to this euphoric state of contentment. This exercise primes you with some motivation and positive energy to get your head in the game.

Create habit loops – a cue to start the task (i.e. getting a glass of water to bring to the computer) and an unwinding task (aka the reward  – ex. going on your daily walk, taking a shower, etc.). Sometimes, I use different styles of music as a cue and a reward to create my habit loop (aka an upbeat pop playlist before starting work and a dance party mix after work). Read The Power of Habit to learn more about this practice.

Remind yourself that time passes anyway, so you might as well spend this time doing the task rather than worrying about it for hours. Plan a reward (calling a friend, making your favorite meal, going out for a walk or dinner) for when you're done. Having this event to look forward to will help motivate you to focus and work efficiently so you can fast-forward to your moments of leisure.

Claim and master your day, loves xx

[empressjezebeldiamond]

Great tips

[jenniesissy]

[spermopijkadupodajka]

Szpilki zawsze i wszędzie.

[empressjezebeldiamond]

Practice, practice, practice, gurls!

[shamelesscelebritiesonfashion]

[empressjezebeldiamond]

Any husbands looking to be defeated? I can help!

Wives, do you long to defeat your husband? I can help!

[man2maiden]

John Willie

[empressjezebeldiamond]

Just as any good maid would do.

[femmefatalevibe]

Becoming your own muse makes you magnetic. It's the secret to seducing your dream clients, potential business partners, lovers, spouses, friends, family, and anyone who has the honor to grace your presence. People sense individuals who exude confidence and have ignited the fire inside that drives them. Smile at the mirror and recognize the perfection in your reflection. Never let a negative person, undesirable salary, relationship status, or circumstances dim your light. Only you can define your worth. Trust your intuition. You know deep down what's truly meant for you.

[empressjezebeldiamond]

I live by these words.

[decorkiki]

[sexualsissysatinsensation]

I need to add to my brush collection and practice so much more… homework: join me in practicing your makeup techniques every day

[empressjezebeldiamond]

A great makeup tutorial. Get your face on point gurls!

[soft-puff]

What is involved in being a daddy?

Putting up with getting 10 million messages

[smolalpacacutie-deactivated2021]

And also putting up with glitter, soft voices, desperate grabby hands, tears, pouts, insane fears, cuddles, more glitter, mood swings, paci talk, stuffies, pretend play, Disney movies, cartoons, tantrums and sore arms cuz no, I’m not ready to get down yet, Daddy.

[onelittlekingdom]

also finding appropriate punishments for trespasses, creating daily tasks, providing rules and structure, creating a safe space for a little to play in, making routine decisions on their behalf, helping your little realize their full potential and initiating strategies to realize your vision of what that is, making sure they eat and drink enough and that it’s mostly healthy food and drink, reminding them to take their medication, encouraging daily exercise, and celebrating every little victory they bring your way. 

[texasred43]

It’s being the most important person for your little girl… it’s being the one person we need to see as our rock… being the one person who has our back.. being the person we turn to when it’s storming and the electricity is out and we are afraid, it’s being on the other end of the text when we have something come up and are suddenly driving 4 hours to handle a crisis… it’s self care reminders… it’s understanding 200 others rely on me and the only one I rely on is you… it’s being a sounding board… it’s telling us to color you a picture to slow the world down… it’s setting the boundaries so we are safe to be silly… it’s expecting to see a lot of pink appear in your life… it’s having us tell others “no” when too many people want too many pieces of us… its giving snuggles… it’s putting bandaids on on heartaches when days are hard… it’s knowing every accomplishment is to please you… it’s knowing our failures are devastating because we fear letting you down… it’s protecting the heart that loves you… it’s picking our socks… it’s getting vids of stuffies on adventures… it’s understanding why we got you a stuffie too… it’s watergun wars you don’t expect… it’s singing in the car… its slaying our demons… it’s bedtime rituals because we don’t sleep otherwise… it’s being present…

but it’s also taking care of yourself so you have the energy to take care of us… its allowing us to be your safe place, and your stability… its letting us take care of you… it’s being showered in kisses… it’s letting us see your weakness… it’s watching us bewitch your dragons… it’s hearing a million times we daydream of doing things for you… it’s letting us pamper you… it’s finding love notes all over the house, or packed in your lunch… it’s post-it’s everywhere with hearts drawn on them… it’s being our focus, the subject of a million daydreams… its being our priority… it’s being truly adored…

[instructor144]

Well written, shorty.

[empressjezebeldiamond]

Very nice breakdowns of what it means to be a Daddy Dom.

[soulofaprincess]

Getting  ‘Thicc’ Ass Cheeks: For Transgirls

If you’re like me, you want a thicc ass.

In this post, I am going to be giving you advice on both diet, exercise and other information on how to improve your overall health as well as obtaining a bigger bum.

Jiggle that phat ass ^.^

Many men enjoy a girl with a phat ass, and by fat I don’t mean obese and full of wrinkles, I mean an ass that squats and looks fatter than a generic flat ass. In the long run with an ass like this, you’ll also be getting a lot more attention from men, either at the gym, on Tinder, on Tumblr, at the club, or just about anywhere. Which also leads to you feeling more confident and more like a Goddess knowing men want you.

Getting Started

There are many exercises and cardio workouts that can increase your butt size. For me, I personally enjoy walking & running as well as some squats.

If you’re new to this and not as fit as you would like to be, start out with something basic. For example:

10 minute walk, 5 minute jog, 2 minute walk, 5 minute walk and then 2 minute jog again, and keep altering these until you are tired. In all, you would like to achieve about 30 minutes of exercise 3 times a week to get started.

When or if you’re fit enough to you can go straight to a 35 minute jog and then 5 minute power walk at the end.

When walking, instead of using your calf muscles and walking around without any effort, tighten your butt when you’re walking and use the back of your upper thighs to move.

However do NOT do this for the entire 30 minutes of your walk. Do this for about 10 seconds every 5 minutes, or for a few minutes and then stop doing this for the rest of the walk, as doing this for long periods of time can effect your lower back and give you pains and effect your hip placement.

I also recommend doing the exercises on the beach. I personally find working out and walking to be boring around the neighbourhood, but I honestly lose my time on the beach, for the soul reason of it being so relaxing and peaceful. On top of that, if you feel too hot and sweaty, you can cooldown instantly in the cold water! And if you don’t want to workout and just do a casual walk with your dog, that is also excellent!

Remember the golden rule. Everything takes time. You will not get results in two weeks of doing this. Even if you’re not getting the results instantly, you will mentally feel better which will improve your overall lifestyle and increase your motivation as you go along!

Walking up and down stairs is also an extremely effective way of increasing your butt mass.

On top of this, also add a walking lunge to your routine, which will increase your butt size and gain muscle in your upper thighs, helping them look extremely feminine as well as thicc.

This is walking lunges

Un-even terrain is the most effective way of increasing your muscle mass in your thighs and butt. Walking & running on the beach, up and down hilly neighborhood areas as well as exploring tracks that are designed for exploration.

Even if you’re not specifically doing exercises to increase your ass size, walking in itself is an effective way of losing weight, which in itself can help your butt look better when you lose weight.

Onto the final tip and the most famous one on increasing your ass size. Squats.

Squats are considered the most effective way to increase the size of your ass cheeks. Before implementing squats into your workout on the beach or wherever you decide to go, it is best to master the squatting at home. Getting the correct posture and form. You want to make sure you sink your hips, keep your back straight, and stick your butt out behind you so you don’t injure your knees.

Start with your feet together. Step out to the side with your dominant foot (you will be moving laterally, so if you are walking down a path you may want to turn to the side, leading with your dominant foot).   

Slowly lower your hips, making sure your knees don’t extend past your toes.

Rise back into a standing position, bringing your nondominant foot in next to your dominant foot.

Do 12 reps. Your squats will carry you sideways, with your dominant foot leading. Make sure you perform the exercise on both sides, alternating leading with your dominant and nondominant foot.

There you go! If you want even more effective results, start using dumbbells while squatting!

Diet

Nuts

This is a must eat food if your goal is to get a bigger butt. It’s packed with good fats and tons of protein to help grow your glutes muscle.

It helps to reduce your cholesterol levels, reduces constipation and it’s rich in vitamins and minerals.

Some of the best ones are almonds, pistachios, cashews and walnuts.

Oatmeal

This is one of the best foods for breakfast as it’s very filling and nutritious. It contains micro nutrients that will help to increase your muscle mass. In other words, it’s a fantastic food to grow your butt size.

It also does a good job at reducing blood cholesterol levels, reduces the risk of heart attack and also helps to minimize the risk of type 2 diabetes.

Protein shake

There’s a reason why body builders love to drink protein shakes before or after their workouts. It’s a fast acting protein source that absorbs in your muscles pretty fast, especially after a workout.

So definitely drinking protein shakes will help you grow your butt bigger.

It helps with building muscle mass, maintaining blood sugar levels and decreasing the production of cortisol.

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GF2lF7IJUr4

Diet information is directly from: https://www.femniqe.com/foods-that-make-your-buttocks-bigger/

this is a TRANSGENDER WOMANS BUTT!!! Its so PHAT!!!

Video workouts & Guides

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aT2Z69_efZI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOVGz7ZqowU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FulGBXN6Vzc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bZiPkLTjeQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDq7FjRqc-o

Sources:

https://lovesweatfitness.com/step-by-step-exercises-for-beginners/

https://www.wikihow.com/Tone-the-Butt-With-Walking

https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/72761350211719291/

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/407575835017891240/

https://twitter.com/fitness_lit/status/950879106828087297

https://tsbraziliancock.tumblr.com/

[empressjezebeldiamond]

Get that feminine body that you've always wanted! Work for it. If you need guidance and discipline I can help with that.

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Lee says:

Hi everyone! I'm posting today to specifically point out an awesome resource that more people should be aware of.

The Gender Affirming Letter Access Project (GALAP) is an organization of independent clinicians who help transgender people access gender-affirming medical treatment like hormone replacement therapy and surgery by providing free letters using the informed-consent system.

The providers listed in the GALAP directory have pledged to complete at least one free informed-consent session and subsequently write at least one free letter per month.

This is super important because many people aren't able to get insurance coverage for the treatment they need without getting a WPATH-compliant letter, and that can make it difficult for someone to be able to start their transition.

For example, many low-income trans people aren't able to afford multiple therapy sessions which makes getting the WPATH-compliant letter difficult for them.

Similarly, trans people living in rural areas face more barriers in being able to find therapists near them who are trans-friendly and currently accepting new patients.

In my own personal transition, I've needed to get...

1 letter from a mental health provider to start HRT

1 from a mental health provider plus 1 letter from my testosterone prescriber to have top surgery

Letters from 2 different mental health providers respectively plus one from my testosterone prescriber to get a hysterectomy

Letters from 2 different mental health providers plus one from my testosterone prescriber to get the first stage of phalloplasty

Letters from 2 different mental health providers plus one from my testosterone prescriber to more to get the second stage because my first set of letters had expired in the meantime

And I'll need 2 more for the third stage because I'll be switching insurances and need to re-start my approval process

For anyone keeping a tally, I needed to get 10 mental health letters saying that I am trans and need to transition before I could get the medical care I needed, not including the “proof of HRT” letters.

It’s ridiculous— If I had needed treatment for any other reason, I wouldn’t have needed to jump through so many gatekeeping hoops where cisgender medical professionals were the arbiters if I was trans enough and deserve care.

For example, my stage 3 phalloplasty surgery is just having an erectile implant placed because I have erectile dysfunction. This is true of all post-phalloplasty patients as a result of the way our penis is structured.

If I were a cisgender man getting the same surgery for erectile dysfunction and having the same device implanted, I would not need to see two mental health professionals first who would judge me on my gender identity before deciding whether I should be allowed get the implant.

The urologist would just use their best medical judgement in determining whether the surgery would be a good idea and then explain the risks and benefits of the procedure and let me decide if I wanted to go ahead and do it. Then the doc would send the insurance the preauthorization info and codes for the procedure based on the diagnosis, and no required mental health evaluation or therapist letter would be involved at all.

But because my surgery is a “gender affirming surgery” for “treatment of gender dysphoria,” I have to see two therapists first and they will judge if I’m “trans enough” and then they have to write a letter saying that I need the surgery because I’m mentally ill (aka diagnosed with “gender dysphoria”) before my insurance will cover the surgery that’ll let me have an erection.

In my opinion, that’s paternalistic, demeaning, unnecessary and a waste of everyone’s time. And it isn’t just weird, invasive, and annoying— it can determine whether you’re able to access necessary medical care.

The GALAP also addresses how requiring a letter is a form of gatekeeping which can negatively impact multiply marginalized minorities, stating, "We are aware that people who do not fit a certain narrative about what it means to be 'transgender' often receive subpar care and face more barriers to receiving the care they need. We acknowledge that this greatly impacts people of color and indigenous communities, nonbinary people, and neurodivergent people."

The provider will have an interview session with you, using the informed consent approach in their interviewing, and then will write a letter, again using the informed consent approach in their letter writing process.

The interview session, the letter (and any additional copies of the letter) are all supposed to be pro-bono, which just means it's free. They aren't supposed to charge you for anything, like additional time on letter writing outside the therapy session, any clinical consultation they need to perform, or any communication with your surgeons and medical staff.

I believe that majority (or possibly all) of the providers in the directory will only provide informed consent letters for legal adults as the wesbite says "writing letters for youth brings up complexities since minors may assent but not consent without parent/guardian support to move forward with any medical interventions," so it's a resource that is more useful for those who are 18 or older.

You'll also need to discuss with your letter writer if they are comfortable officially diagnosing you with gender dysphoria if your medical provider/s and/or insurance company requires a formal a diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria to access gender-affirming medical services.

You should also check whether your letter writer needs particular credentials.

My insurance said:

“One of these letters must be from a psychiatrist, psychologist, nurse practitioner, psychiatric nurse practitioner, or licensed clinical social worker with whom the member has an established and ongoing relationship.

The other letter may be from a psychiatrist, psychologist, nurse practitioner, physician, psychiatric nurse practitioner, or licensed clinical social worker acting within the scope of his or her practice, who has only had an evaluative role with the member.”

Your insurance company may have more rigid requirements and need a letter from a medical doctor or doctor of osteopathic for example, and may not accept a licensed clinical social worker, or they may allow any mental health practitioner.

So it’s good to double-check that the person you’re contacting in the directory has the license you need for your requirements.

The GALAP site says:

"Just because someone has signed The GALAP pledge or uses our name and logo on their website unfortunately doesn’t guarantee that they are honoring our pledge’s totally FREE letter writing (and session) commitment. 

When reaching out to request a letter, we encourage you to ask the therapist/letter writer:

1) Is this entire letter writing process (including the time it takes to meet) completely free, as in keeping with The GALAP pledge? 2) Have you written surgery letters on behalf of trans and nonbinary folks before that have been accepted by surgeons and/or insurance companies?

While we can’t monitor or endorse therapists who sign the pledge, you can find out if they will honor the pledge BEFORE you meet with them."

The (current as of 04/2022) list of states that currently have a provider who has agreed to write free letters is below:

Alabama (1)

Alaska (2)

Arizona (9)

Arkansas (2)

California (62)

Colorado (19)

Connecticut (11)

Delaware (1)

District of Columbia (1)

Florida (11)

Georgia (22)

Hawaii (0)

Idaho (7)

Illinois (21)

Indiana (9)

Iowa (0)

Kansas (2)

Kentucky (1)

Louisiana (3)

Maine (2)

Maryland (18)

Massachusetts (17)

Michigan (13)

Minnesota (1)

Mississippi (1)

Missouri (2)

Montana (1)

Nebraska (3)

Nevada (1)

New Hampshire (3)

New Jersey (5)

New Mexico (1)

New York (26)

North Carolina (8)

North Dakota (0)

Ohio (7)

Oklahoma (2)

Oregon (11)

Pennsylvania (11)

Rhode Island (2)

South Carolina (2)

South Dakota (0)

Tennessee (4)

Texas (8)

Utah (5)

Vermont (3)

Virginia (8)

Washington (22)

West Virginia (1)

Wisconsin (6)

Wyoming (1)

Most providers can only provide a letter to people residing in their state(s) of licensure, and there are some states that don't have any providers listed at all, so hopefully more providers will sign the pledge and get listed in the directory in the future.

But even as it is today, this is a super-useful resource for trans people who are looking to medically transition, and hopefully more people become aware of it and are able to make use of it going forward!

Our post on how to start HRT in the USA has linked to the GALAP website so this isn't the first time I've mentioned their directory, but I felt like the GALAP directory deserved its own post, so here it is!

[empressjezebeldiamond]

Here is a good resource for helping people that are transitioning.

[cherishedproperty]

I'm pretty new to kink, and this is the first time I've had an experienced dom partner I trust that brings out my sub side, which is exciting. I've been reading a lot of your posts, and I appreciate your perspective. Any advice or resources for first time impact play? 🙌🏻🙏🏻 -gingr

Hi! It’s great that you’ve found someone who brings out your submissive side. In terms of resources for starting out in impact, the best thing I can recommend is @instructor144’s piece on calibration (and what’s on his calibration tag). But I think what it comes down to is this:

Go slow. Don’t go from a hand spanking to a bunch of different implements. It can be intimidating and can make it hard to really figure out what you like or don’t like. Sometimes fear of the unknown will make you think you dislike something when really you just needed some time for your brain to understand what the heck is going on. Too much newness all at once is going to make it hard for your brain to process. So try only a few things at once, and build up intensity with each one slowly. It doesn’t make you a wimp; it just means you’re helping your Dominant to learn you more effectively.

Figure out what you like. This one might seem obvious, but as a submissive, sometimes it isn’t. I did impact with multiple people before anyone really asked me what I liked. I just thought my Dominant was supposed to decide, and I was supposed to take it. But your Dominant should give you enough control and exposure to new things to really understand what you like. Depending on the parameters of your relationship, you may not always get it in the way you like it. But you should at least know what you like.

Communicate before, during, and after a scene. Talk about safewords and how you plan to use them. Talk about the kind of spanking it will be and what headspace you’re aiming to build together. I find it helpful when my Dominant tells me if he wants me to get to subspace or if he wants to hurt me. Then during the impact session, help your partner calibrate what you can take. Either do a formal 1-10 calibration or just use words to say “I can’t take much more of <implement>” or “please Sir can you do a little more like that”. After, make sure you talk about what you liked and didn’t like, where you struggled, what you were feeling, etc. Each person is different, so your partner can only learn how you experience it if you tell them.

Figure out what things work for you and when. This can be implements but also things like how you need to be warmed up. I used to think I hated impact because it fucking hurt, and I spent the first chunk a scene wondering WHY THE HELL DO I LIKE THIS? But I learned that a slow warmup helps my mind to relax and prepare for more intense things. And also, I know there are some days when I am more emotionally sensitive, and my partner needs to approach impact differently. Just understand there’s a lot to learn about yourself and how you respond.

Do a little research on the brain chemistry behind impact. I don’t have any resources handy, but I point this out so you understand things like why warmups are helpful, how subspace works, and why some people experience drop after a scene. Drop can feel like a very intense depression, and it can be really distressing the first time it happens. But understanding the brain chemistry behind it can help you to spot it early and figure out ways to minimize it.

Have fun. It’s supposed to be fun and connecting. Explore together. Share and learn. But try not to put too much pressure on yourself!

I hope this is helpful, but anyone else, feel free to chime in on useful things to know as a newbie bottom!