notes from mlm

[emptybottle-mlm]

let me hold you, let me love you.

let me love you like no others before me.

[emptybottle-mlm]

My love

I love you my dear boy, I wouldn't trade you for anything. I have everything I need with you.

You provide light on rainy days,

shelter me, when it storms.

Maybe I'm a fool;

[emptybottle-mlm]

alone in a room

with you on the phone

with nothing but a candle to light me

i sit on my own

with you on the phone

and no where else id wanna be

i hear you snore

so even and slow

and wish that i was there

(to hold in my arms

and never let go

god, i wish i was there)

to hold in my arms

and never let go

if only i wasn't so scared

i fear that if

i touch you with

all my true desire

you'll disappear

not gone, but not here

and i'll be alone in a room

[emptybottle-mlm]

and i see him while he's asleep

and i love him

and i see him when he's angry

and i love him

and i see him when i'm losing it

and i love him

blessed, am i to see him like this

blessed, am i to love him like this

i dont know why it feels one sided at times.

but maybe i'm doing something wrong

maybe i'm doing something wrong.

[emptybottle-mlm]

to see the curses of the earth and still choose to love is a power you have that i admire

you have every right to be angry and hate everything with what you've gone through but you choose to smile and thats something i desire

i feel myself fall for you every time i look in your eyes

everytime i saw you smile at me

"i love him, i love them, i love her, i love you"

i love who you are,

i love you in a way that makes me feel like this is the first time ive loved someone

i wish i could pretend that i was good enough for you but you deserve the galaxy and the stars, the sun and the moon, every pretty thing on earth that reminds me of you, and id sacrifice myself to get all of it for you

i love you, i love you, i love you

[emptybottle-mlm]

I found sunlight in you

i saw it, i saw it, i saw it

i saw it

it stunned me

never have i felt such a warmth light me up with such radiance

so ill try and ill try and ill try

to be at least a candlelight to the sunlight that you glow

[emptybottle-mlm]

i love you more than a boat loves the sea

i love you more than the sea loves the beach

i love you more than a beach loves the sun

i love you more than the sun loves the universe

i love you more than the universe itself

[emptybottle-mlm]

alone in a room

with you on the phone

with nothing but a candle to light me

i sit on my own

with you on the phone

and no where else id wanna be

i hear you snore

so even and slow

and wish that i was there

(to hold in my arms

and never let go

god, i wish i was there)

to hold in my arms

and never let go

if only i wasn't so scared

i fear that if

i touch you with

all my true desire

you'll disappear

not gone, but not here

and i'll be alone in a room

[emptybottle-mlm]

stargaze faded so the sun could take center stage

[emptybottle-mlm]

oh, oh how your eyes are the stars

Grounded on earth, yet feels like mars

stargaze, baby, you make me smile

you're my galaxy, for hundreds of miles

[emptybottle-mlm]

oh how I fell, fell so fast

and yet I'm still falling

will you catch me?

every breath of theirs makes me fall further

how can you do that?

my cosmos, my stars

[emptybottle-mlm]

let me dream of him all night and then wake up to him kissing my forehead.

[emptybottle-mlm]

I wish to be texting him late at night, slowly falling for each dumb message he sends me. I'd send some dumb jokes back and imagine the smile on his face. I want to have our eyes meet for a little too long, brush a little too close to each other, and laugh with tears in my eyes as he tries to make me feel better. I wish he was real

[emptybottle-mlm]

I am so lucky to have you in my life. When we met I didn’t think I’d fall so fast that I’d break the sound barrier but damn it, here we are. It felt so unlikely that I’d gain feelings for you.

But then I saw the way I made you laugh when no one was looking.

It was beautiful. And I was the reason for it.

So maybe it was your stupid crooked smile, or the way you thought you were so witty, or the way your hair looks after you get out of a pool.

But it was the fact that behind this locked door was something that made me want to be better.

And I was the key.

[emptybottle-mlm]

if I were to lie next to them, hold them in my arms, feel their heart and their chest, to be in that safe space, it would all be worth it.

[emptybottle-mlm]

golden

you are everything

I don't see you in everything, I see everything in you.

You aren't as beautiful as the sunset. The sunset is as beautiful as you.

It baffles me how you manage to be my moon and stars when I thought no one could

I have never felt a love this way, organic.

nothing was forced and you held my hand when I was unsure

maybe we're soulmates, maybe we're not.

but you are something different, and it's such a lovely change of pace

[emptybottle-mlm]

my golden, august 30th 2021