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«welcome! i reblog every story that i like on this blog, none of them are mine. hope u find what ure looking for!»

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n a v i g a t i o n
«welcome! i reblog every story that i like on this blog, none of them are mine. hope u find what ure looking for!»
â ăRequiemă ă Frieren // Himmel ă â republished w/permission â follow our YT interview show!
all the ways i lost you
a sasusaku story
âââââââââââââââââââââââââ ââââââââââ
chapter one chapter two chapter three
Second Time Around Masterlist
â It's been eight years since Bakugou handed you the divorce papers without any reason, leaving you and your two children. But when co-parenting gets difficult and old feelings come back, you struggle with whether you can fall back in love with your ex-husband.
© simplybakugou â all rights reserved. DO NOT REPOST/REUPLOAD, TRANSLATE, OR EDIT ANY OF MY CONTENT ON HERE OR ANY PLATFORM
PAIRING: prohero!bakugou/dad!bakugou/divorced!bakugou x teacher!reader / mom!reader /divorced!reader (afab)
TAGS/WARNINGS: 18+; angst; kids; eventual smut (specific chapters will have different nsfw related tags); divorce; marriage; mention of pregnancy; fluff; suggestive; romance; second chances; jealousy; older bakugou and reader
STATUS: completed
A/N: this has been an idea that i've had for a while but never went through with it. i originally thought of it like four years ago but then fell off tumblr and now WE'RE BACK. tysm to everyone who helped out with the title of the series, especially to the anon who sent in this title!! i did not expect this series to have this many parts but i just had a lot i wanted to add to the story! also my first time doing anything nsfw in the 8 years i've had this blog lol... it's been a minute since i did a fic series (not smau related basically) so can't wait!
TIP JAR
â PART I â THE ROUTINE
â PART II â ARE YOU HAPPY
â PART III â JEALOUSY
â PART IV â MY BUSINESS
â PART V â THE TRUTH
â PART VI â BABY FEVER
â PART VII â THE ONLY ONE
â PART VIII â FOR THE KIDS
â PART IX â CAN'T HOLD BACK 18+
â PART X â SQUARE ONE
â PART XI â JUST FRIENDS
â PART XII â DON'T HURT HER
â PART XIII â DROWN IN IT 18+
â PART XIV â HERO
â PART XV â BIG HAPPY FAMILY
â PART XVI â THOSE THREE WORDS 18+
â PART XVII â REST OF MY LIFE
â PART XVIII â BLAMES AND FAULTS
â PART XIX â DESERVE TO BE LOVED 18+
â EPILOGUE â SECOND TIME AROUND
â PROLOGUE â FIRST TIME AROUND 18+
EXTRAS:
â ALTERNATE ENDING
â THIRD BABY
â DATING IZUKU
â HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
â NIGHTLY INTERRUPTIONS 18+
â FIRST TIME 18+
â GETTING INTERRUPTED AGAIN 18+
â MEET THE PARENTS
â BAKUGOU INTERRUPTING
â REWARD FOR THE NUMBER THREE HERO 18+
â KATSUO'S BAD DAY
â KIDS INTERACTING WITH IZUKU
â VILLAIN ATTACK POST-DIVORCE
â DYNAMIGHT FANS AMBUSH
â TOO LATE TO SAVE YOU
â HEAD DURING ZOOM CALL 18+
â SUKI'S BREAKUP
â SUKI COMING OUT
â MEET THE PARENTS PT. II (FEAT. KANA)
â EXPLAINING DEATH
â MEETING BABY HOSHI
â PRESS AMBUSH
â HONEYMOON SEX 18+
â HONEYMOON SEX PT. II 18+
â ANOTHER WAR
â NEWEST ADDITION TO THE FAMILY
â POST-WAR REUNION 18+
â POST-WAR REUNION PT. II
â DISTRACTIONS 18+
â DIVORCED AND YEARNING 18+
â BAKUGOU'S 40TH BIRTHDAY
â LITTLE ANGEL KATSUMI
â WAR NIGHTMARES
â MOVE IN WITH ME
â SUKI DEFENDING BAKUGOU
â REWARD FOR THE NUMBER ONE HERO 18+
â NEWBIE HERO HITTING ON Y/N
â NEEDY BAKUGOU 18+
â KATSUMI'S BULLIES
â REMARRIAGE BODY WORSHIP 18+
â TRYING TO GET OVER YOU
â DYNAMIGHT FANS AMBUSH KATSUMI
â MOMMA
â KATSUO'S FIRST WORD
â BAKUGOU ON ANESTHESIA
â GROWN SUKI AND KATSUO WALKING IN ON BAKUGOU AND Y/N 18+
â ABDUCTION
â CAN'T GO TO BED ANGRY
â TELLING KATSUO HE'S GOING TO BE A BIG BROTHER
â THE NUMBER ONE HERO
â PLEASE DON'T LEAVE
â PLEASE DON'T LEAVE PT. II
â SUKI'S SHITTY BOYFRIEND
â SECOND TIME 18+
â DEALING WITH LOSS
â HANDS OFF MY WIFE
â MEET THE PARENTS PT. III (FEAT. AYATO)
â FIFTEEN AGAIN
â THE SHOWER INCIDENT 18+
â KEEP BEING MY GIRLFRIEND
â ABDUCTION PT. II
â FEMSUKI 18+
â DYNAMIGHT READS THIRST TWEETS
â BABYSITTING WITH GRANDMA AND GRANDPA
â MALE READER 18+
â THE FIRST PROPOSAL
â JEALOUS KATSUKI
â ANGRY JEALOUS SEX 18+
â KISS AND MAKE UP
â KATSUO WATCHES DYNAMIGHT READ THIRST TWEETS
â SUB BAKUGOU 18+
â JEALOUSY REVERSED
â NO HEAVY LIFTING
â SWITCHED! 18+
â ASSUMED DEAD
â CAN'T USE HIS QUIRK ANYMORE
â SOFT MAKE UP SEX 18+
MASTERLIST CONTINUED
| mdni. 18+
ex-husband katsuki! who youâd been with since you were in high school and he was just a loudmouth teenager training to be a pro-hero. your first love. high school sweetheart. first kiss. first everything.
ex-husband katsuki! who promised you the world and followed through. almost followed through.
ex-husband katsuki! who surprised you with the news of his agency opening over a home cooked meal on the back patio of your shared apartment. not only that, he surprised you with a proposal. your hand in his for life.
ex-husband katsuki! who, as a wedding gift, bought a house big enough for the two of you and whatever the hell else you could ever dream of.
ex-husband katsuki! who did everything in his power to make sure you never had to want for anything. working extra hard and staying behind long hours at the agency. in hopes that after a few years, heâd have enough money to never leave your side again.
ex-husband katsuki! who started sleeping on the couch after his shifts in fear of waking you up after seeing how peaceful you always were when sleeping. he couldnât stand the thought. heâd just have to hope youâd be awake before he had to leave again.
ex-husband katsuki! who had been so busy with working, heâd almost forgotten your anniversary coming up. until he didnât. he even booked a small weekend getaway. letting everyone know heâd be gone and not to bother him. no excuses.
ex-husband katsuki! who left early that day to come home to you. he even stopped for flowers. your favorite, too. only to be met with one of his worst nightmares. no. it was his worst. you were gone, and so were all of your things.
ex-husband katsuki! who had no idea what, when, or why this was happening. he never knew you were feeling this way. maybe thatâs the fucking problem. he didnât know anything about you anymore. anything except that heâd lost you.
ex-husband katsuki! who didnât put up a fight. he signed the papers because you asked him to. he still has no fucking idea why he was stupid enough to do it. did you really want this? because he didnât. of everything he imagined for the two of you, this was the last thing he ever thought would happen.
ex-husband katsuki! who desperately stopped at nothing. he offered for you to take the house. his car. the savings heâs set aside for you so farâŠnothing short of an even bigger heartbreak when you refused all of it. you didnât want any of it. you didnât want anything. why wouldnât you just take something? at least his guilt would grow smaller.
ex-husband katsuki! who spent weeks. no, months on end going through every scenario. wondering where it all went wrong. a moment to pin. the night you met. wishing on every shooting star that youâd come back to him one day.
ex-husband katsuki! who learned from a friend you were moving on. it didnât make him angry. even worse, it left him with an indescribable feeling in his chest. he couldnât imagine it. you with someone else. you being with another person longer than youâd been with him. years down the line. still off to the side watching the life he could of had pass before his very eyes.
ex-husband katsuki! who almost fucks it all up again by texting you. he couldnât help himself any longer. he just couldnât bear the thought of someone else learning you. your habits. your skin. your sounds. the way youâŠfuck. whined against his neck.
ex-husband katsuki! who learns his best friends are engaged. who also happen to beâŠyour best friends. meaning youâll be sucked into each otherâs space again no matter what.
ex-husband katsuki! who searches for any and everything that might help him in getting his wife back. even if it means dragging your drunk ass out of mina and kirishimaâs engagement party and bringing you home with himâŠhe even washed your hair. not that youâd remember. maybe you wouldnât hate him too much when you wake up and realize where you are, and that he took care of you.
ex-husband katsuki! who watches you all night at the bar during the bachelor and bachelorette party. even when some random shows up, throwing herself on him, doing anything for a sliver of his attention. only for it to still be on you. your curves. the way your lips scrunch when youâre upset. were you? upset? but by the time he makes his way over to ask, youâve disappeared.
ex-husband katsuki! who drunkenly invites you to his hotel room. (not much of a drunken thought) but nonetheless, his heart almost tears right through his stomach when his door opens and there you are.
ex-husband katsuki! who just couldnât fucking believe it. you were here. with him. asleep in his arms for the first time in such a long time. he was scared to even fall asleep. in fear that youâll somehow disappear from his arms in his dreams. and that you did.
ex-husband katsuki! who has you under him almost every single night after. youâd swear to everyone you love that you hate him and will never forgive him. but never in his ear late at night when your body remembers everything your heart swore to forget.
ex-husband katsuki! whoâs always coming up with new reasons to see you. a package delivered to his doorstep. your favorite artist releasing music. offering you rides. (all sorts of them)
ex-husband katsuki! who gets a little too jealous watching you hold conversations with men who should be him. the thought of you being with them the way you were with him only minutes before coming to this damn rehearsal dinner. he feels partly defeated. he thought things were finally going his way.
ex-husband katsuki! who brings a date to the wedding despite his overgrown and undeniable feelings for you. he only immediately regrets it. especially seeing how upset you are. today was supposed to be about love. not his own damn ego.
ex-husband katsuki! who sits with you hours after itâs over and everyone has gone home. helping you clean and pack things up while also reminiscing about the small, intimate details from your own wedding.
ex-husband katsuki! who starts showing up again. more and more. to the point youâve become overwhelmed with emotions yourself. what if he hasnât changed? what if the next time is no different?
ex-husband katsuki! whoâs never once taken his wedding ring off since the divorce. except for when heâll be seeing you. even then, he puts it around his chain and tucks it into his collar or back pocket. no one around him has given him shit about it yet. but you would.
ex-husband katsuki! who cooks for you every night. just like the old times when he first learned to cook and made a date out of it. the curry was burnt, but thank goodness his cooking skills improved over the years.
ex-husband katsuki! who canât take not being your husband anymore. heâd say anything. do anything. he just wants you to take him back. heâd even beg on his knees if youâd only ask.
ex-husband katsuki! who goes out on a limb, heart in his hand holding out for you. âmarry me again, please.â he takes your hand one random night after dinnerâŠthough he was supposed to be leaving. this time he doesnât.
-
an: this is just a little something based on the series <3 so iâve tagged everyone who was already on the list :)
tag list: @dabi-vakarian @areyouokhoney @jellychee @spidermanfan3000 @gaylittleboi69 @eyesforbkg @neotonguetechnology @dimplesxx @calebsfavapple @eloiki @ani-reads @lynnanami @floatingscepterqueen @luvchaer @seishroo @bananazsworld @ninininini08 @snore-3 @anime2006 @miittzki @ccamil1e @amttyy @dawnzlightt @hornykaminari @kalulakunundrum @mx-0-nchild @melovebl @kobenisu @bbning @late-night-cravings-for-love @casey142 @lunarlighxt @k0z3me @ohsillydoll @katsuki-bakugo01 @dreamer-grl @lenathegingerrr @inlovewithpsychos @melllzz @mxchiii @yutazure @lainlovelain @shhhitcanstaybetweenus @bbytheestallion @justhere2readxd @r3m1nd3dd @asian-woody @cherripiesblog @righteousblasphemy @livingdeadgirl730
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© đ đ đ đąđđŸđœđđđ: 9đŒđđđđș
@bunny4kaiser @camelliablossomss
â ăLimiă ă ă©ăŻăŹăïœ ă â republished w/permission â follow our YT interview show!
sanzu "I love my wife" haruchiyo who has been hopelessly devoted to you since the two of you were children. no matter how ugly life got, you stayed - you stayed when his own brother was treating him like shit, you stayed through toman, through tenjiku, through kanto manji, and now through bonten. every version of haruchiyo knew one thing for certain - you would still be there waiting for him. he kept you a secret almost all his life so you would never have to deal with his messed up life. only mikey knew.
sanzu "I love my wife" haruchiyo who accidentally lets bonten discover the one secret he's kept from everyone after an attack at his apartment. expecting to find a furious, bloodied sanzu, the executives are left speechless when the front door opens to a sleepy woman in one of his oversized shirts, a wedding band resting on her finger. ran forgets how to joke, rindou genuinely thinks they're at the wrong place, koko immediately notices the ring, and kakucho can only stare. before anyone can say a word, sanzu appears behind you, bruised but immediately pulling you behind him, gently checking your face for injuries before even acknowledging the others. the room falls silent. nobody can believe the same man who'd slaughter people without hesitation has a wife he'd hidden for years.
sanzu "I love my wife" haruchiyo who buys you flowers so often that every room in your home smells fresh. roses one day, peonies the next, lilies because they reminded him of your perfume, tulips just because he walked past a flower shop and thought about you. sometimes you wake up before him and find a small bouquet already sitting on your nightstand with a tiny note written in his messy handwriting that simply says, "saw these. thought of my wife."
sanzu "I love my wife" haruchiyo who slowly lets go of the drugs because of you. not because anyone ordered him to but because one night you held his face so gently and whispered that you wanted to grow old together. the idea of dying before he got wrinkles beside you suddenly became unbearable. still, there are bad days, sleepless nights, moments where his hands shake and his patience disappears. but every time he's close to giving in, he remembers your sleepy smile waiting for him at home.
sanzu "I love my wife" haruchiyo who can go from ordering someone's execution over the phone to asking if you want strawberries cut into heart shapes five minutes later. everyone in bonten fears him. they hear the coldness in his voice, see the blood on his hands, and avoid looking him in the eyes. then he walks through the front door, slips off his shoes, wraps his arms around your waist from behind, buries his face in your shoulder, and asks if you've eaten yet.
sanzu "I love my wife" haruchiyo who is embarrassingly clingy the second he's home. he'll complain if you don't greet him with a hug, dramatically asking if you've stopped loving him because you were folding laundry instead of running to the door. he follows you from room to room like a cat, resting his chin on your shoulder while you cook, sitting on the bathroom counter while you do your skincare, lying across your lap whenever you're trying to read.
sanzu "I love my wife" haruchiyo who never gets tired of calling you his wife. every conversation somehow circles back to it. "my wife likes this." "my wife made dinner." "my wife hates when I skip breakfast." even people who have never met you know exactly how obsessed he is. the executives exchange tired looks every time he brings you up for the hundredth time that week, but he couldn't care less. he waited his entire life to call you his wife, and now he plans on reminding everyone that you're his every chance he gets.
"Enemies in Public, Secret Lovers" //Tokyo Revengers
Charakters: Mikey, Sanzu, Ran, Rindou, Hanma, Kokonoi, Izana, Kazutora
Synopsis: They act like they hate you in the streetsâcold stares, sharp words, tense glares across gang meetings. But behind closed doors? Itâs a different story. They kiss you like theyâll die without it. They touch you like they own you. They love you like they shouldn't. You're the only softness they allow themselves.
And they'd burn everything down to keep it secret.
CW: emotional tension, possessive relationships, and darker romantic themes
Mikey (Manjiro Sano):
The air in the room is thick with smoke, tension, and barely concealed hostility.
Youâre sitting at one end of the long table, arms crossed, legs angled toward the doorâready to bolt the second this shitshow ends. On the other side, Mikey sits with that goddamn calm expression of his, one hand dangling lazily off the chair, the other tapping a steady rhythm against the wood.
The rival gang is talkingâsomething about turf, about boundaries, about respect.
You arenât listening. Because heâs watching you.
Manjiro Sano. Mikey. The boy youâre supposed to hate.
And in publicâyou do. You throw insults like knives, argue in front of everyone, pretend like you wouldnât care if he dropped dead.
But behind closed doors?
You know how his heartbeat sounds when he sleeps beside you. You know how he tastes when his lips crash into yours in secret. You know the man beneath the title.
So when his gaze lingers too long, you force yourself to look away.
âGot something to say, Mikey?â you say, loud enough to interrupt the conversation.
Everyone stops.
Mikey blinks slowly. âOnly that someoneâs overstepping. Again.â
You raise your eyebrows. âTry me.â
The room bristles with tension.
âEnough,â the other gang leader mutters. âHandle your infighting on your own time.â
You roll your eyes and lean back in your chair, pretending to be bored.
The meeting ends. The tension doesnât.
Mikey is the last to leave the room, and so are you. No one thinks twiceâeveryoneâs used to you two arguing.
The moment the door clicks shut, heâs on you.
Your back hits the wall.
âMouthy today, huh?â His voice is low, the mask of the Toman leader dropping in an instant. âYou keep talking to me like that in public, someoneâs gonna figure it out.â
You donât respond. Youâre too busy memorizing the way his eyes look under the dim lightâdark, dangerous, and a little desperate.
Then your hands are in his hair, and your lips are on his, and suddenly you donât care if anyone finds out.
âI only talk like that,â you whisper between kisses, âso I donât say your name out loud.â
He freezesâjust for a second.
Then his mouth returns to your neck, and he breathes, âSay it now.â
You lean into him, chest pressed to his, and whisper, âManjiro.â
He groans, quietly, and pulls you tighter. âYouâre gonna kill me one of these days.â
âMaybe,â you smile. âBut not before I get what I want.â
He kisses you againâslow, deep, like the rest of the world doesnât exist.
Just you. Just him. Just secrets no one can ever know.
___________________________________________________________________________
Sanzu Haruchiyo:
The room is all steel and tension.
Bonten's top executives stand around a high-gloss table, discussing a smuggling deal that went sideways. You stand across from Sanzu, arms folded, glaring daggers at the man like you hadnât let him wreck you two nights ago.
âI told you not to trust the Koreans,â you snap, voice sharp. âNow look where we areâhalf a shipment missing and the docks crawling with heat.â
Haruchiyo Sanzu smiles slowlyâmocking, dangerous.
âAnd I told you to shut the fuck up unless you have something useful to say.â
Thereâs a brief silence.
Kakucho shifts. Ran smirks. Rindou pretends not to notice.
This is normal.
You and Sanzu always argue. Always at each otherâs throats. Always ready to start a war in the middle of a Bonten meeting. No one questions it anymoreâthey just brace for impact.
What they donât know is that last night, Sanzu had you pinned to his mattress, your hands tangled in his pink hair while he whispered your name like it was a prayer and a curse in the same breath.
You clench your fists.
âIâm not the one whose plan got us fucked,â you hiss.
Sanzu steps closerâslowly, deliberately, like heâs stalking prey. His voice drops.
âYou always this mouthy, or just when youâre not on your knees?â
The room explodes into a chorus of groans and chuckles. You laugh, sharp and bitter.
âFunny. I donât remember you complaining when I was biting your shoulder to shut myself up.â
Silence.
Sanzuâs jaw twitches. You see the briefest flicker of something real in his eyesâthen itâs gone, buried under madness and pride.
âMeetingâs over,â Mikey says, flatly. âGet out.â
Youâre halfway down the hall when you hear footsteps behind you. You donât need to look to know who it is.
Sanzu grabs your wrist and shoves you into an empty room.
The second the door slams shut, heâs on you.
âYou little brat,â he growls, mouth crashing onto yours.
You kiss back just as hard, fingers fisting the front of his jacket.
âI warned you not to test me like that,â he mutters, teeth grazing your lower lip. âSaying shit like that in front of themââ
âOr what, Haruchiyo?â you whisper, deliberately using his nameâthe one you only say when itâs just you two. The one that makes him stop breathing for a second.
His eyes darken.
âYou like it, donât you?â you whisper, fingers sliding under his shirt. âWhen I fight you. When I act like I hate you.â
He lifts you effortlessly, pressing you against the cold wall. His voice is breathless now, tight with restraint.
âI do,â he admits. âI like it too much.â
You kiss him againâdeep, slow, like youâre staking your claim. He groans into your mouth, biting your bottom lip hard enough to sting.
âSay it again,â he breathes. âMy name.â
âHaruchiyo.â
His hands tighten around your hips. âAgain.â
You smirk against his lips.
âYouâre such a fucking psycho.â
âAnd youâre still here,â he whispers. âYou always come back.â
So do you kiss him harderâor walk away?
You still havenât decided.
___________________________________________________________________________
Ran Haitani:
The Bonten compound is quiet at this hour.
Too quiet.
You shouldnât be here.
Not after what happened this morningâafter you called Ran Haitani a âuseless, ornamental bastardâ in front of half the lieutenants.
He only smirked, of course. He always does. That lazy, smug smirk that makes you want to claw it off his faceâand kiss it at the same time.
And now here you are, slipping down the private wing like you donât know exactly how this will end.
You open his door without knocking.
He's already waiting.
Laid back on the couch in a silk shirt half-unbuttoned, ankles crossed, drink in hand. Golden hair loose around his shoulders, violet eyes half-liddedâbut sharp. So sharp.
âTook you long enough,â he drawls.
âYouâre lucky I came at all.â
He sets the glass down and stretches, slow like a cat. âStill mad at me, huh?â
âYouâre a cocky prick, Ran.â
âYou love that about me.â
He standsâtowering over you in an instant. One hand cups the back of your neck, pulling you close until your lips almost brush.
âIn public, you look at me like you want to put a bullet between my eyes,â he murmurs, thumb brushing your jaw. âBut in here?â
His mouth touches your throatâsoft, deliberate.
âYouâre quiet. Submissive.â He smirks. âSweet.â
You push him back a step, refusing to melt just yet.
âDonât get it twisted. Iâm still thinking about killing you.â
Ran laughsâa low, dangerous sound. âYeah? Is that why you came back again?â
You donât answer. Instead, you step forward and undo the next button on his shirtâslowly, deliberately.
He leans in, lips at your ear now. âSay it.â
âSay what?â
âMy name. You only call me that when you mean it.â
You meet his gaze, hand slipping inside his shirt to feel the warmth of his chest.
âRan,â you whisper. âYouâre lucky I donât hate you more than I do.â
He grabs your wrist, presses you back against the wallânot roughly, just enough to remind you whoâs in control here. His hand slips to your throat, light pressure. Testing. Possessive.
âGood,â he says, mouth brushing yours. âBecause I like it better when you hate me.â
Then he kisses youâslow and deep and completely in control.
And when you moan against his lips, he grins.
âSee?â he whispers. âNo one has to know how much you love this.â
___________________________________________________________________________
Rindou Haitani:
You hadnât planned on running into him.
You only came to the rooftop for a cigarette and a moment away from the hellhole that is the Bonten compound at midnight.
But there he isâRindou Haitani.
Leaning against the railing, hoodie up, smoke curling lazily from his lips. Purple streaks glint under the moonlight, and his eyes slide to you like razors.
âTch. You,â he mutters.
You glare. âDonât start.â
âI didnât say anything.â
âYou didnât have to.â
Itâs always like this in public. Cold remarks. Petty fights. You made sure everyone believes you canât stand himâand he plays along perfectly.
He flicks ash over the edge, not looking at you. âWhy are you always up here?â
âSame reason you are,â you say, lighting your own cigarette. âTo get away from people I hate.â
His mouth twitches. âThen why are you standing next to me?â
A long silence passes.
The night is still, electric.
Finally, he speaksâquieter this time.
âYouâre really good at pretending you donât give a fuck.â
You look over at him, surprised by the crack in his armor. His brows are furrowed, not quite glaring anymore.
âYeah?â you say softly. âSo are you.â
His jaw ticks.
Then, before either of you can pretend any longer, heâs crossing the space between you. Gripping the back of your neck. Pulling you in.
The kiss is rough at firstâangry, teeth and heatâbut it softens quickly. His hand trembles a little when it slides under your shirt. Yours cups the side of his face, fingers brushing his cheekbone.
You break the kiss just long enough to whisper, âRindouâŠâ
He exhales like youâve stabbed him.
âDonât look at me like that,â he murmurs. âI canât take it when you say my name like that.â
âWhy?â
âBecause I donât want to care.â
You kiss him again before he can say anything elseâbecause if he keeps talking like that, you might start caring too.
And neither of you can afford that.
___________________________________________________________________________
Hanma Shuji:
You hadnât meant to let it happen.
It was just harmless flirting. A smuggler from Osaka, silver-tongued and drunk on expensive whiskey, leaning too close. Laughing too loud. His hand brushed your arm a little too long.
And you knew exactly who was watching from across the room.
Hanma Shuji.
Youâd locked eyes with him the second the guy leaned in.
He smiled.
That lazy, teeth-baring grin that meant run.
But he didnât say a thing. Didnât storm over. Didnât throw a punch. Didnât interrupt. Just sipped his drink and kept watching.
Like a lion waiting for his prey to step out of the herd.
Now you're in his apartment.
Alone.
The second the door shuts behind you, you feel itâthe shift. The air thickens. Hanmaâs smile is gone.
âWhat?â you say, trying to play it off. âYou jealous or something?â
He cocks his head. His pupils dilate just enough to show you the answer.
âNah,â he drawls. âJealousy's too normal for what Iâm feeling.â
You take a step back.
Big mistake.
Heâs on you in an instantâgrabbing your chin, backing you against the wall, that chaos blazing in his eyes.
âYou let him touch you.â
âIt was nothing.â
âDidnât look like nothing,â he says, voice dangerously low. âLooked like you wanted someone elseâs hands on you.â
You glare at him. âYou didnât say anything.â
âI wanted to see how far youâd go before you remembered who you fucking belong to.â
His grip tightensâjust a little. Enough to make your breath hitch.
âYou done now?â you mutter. âOr do you wanna mark me up like a damn dog to prove your point?â
That grin comes backâslow and sharp.
âNot a dog, babe.â
His hand drops to your thigh, gripping hard.
âMore like a wolf.â
You feel your body respond even as your pride flares.
âShujiââ
He growlsâactually growlsâagainst your neck when you say his name. The low, guttural sound of someone unraveling.
âSay it again,â he whispers. âSay my name like you did when I had you gasping in that stairwell last week.â
You shiver.
âShuji.â
His mouth crashes into yours.
Itâs messy. Hungry. Punishing.
By the time he pulls back, your lips are swollen and your thoughts scattered.
âNo one else touches you,â he breathes, voice shaking. âYou got that?â
You nod, dizzy.
He presses his forehead to yours, eyes wild.
âIâll kill them next time.â
__________________________________________________________________________
Kokonoi Hajime:
The bar is dimly lit, expensive, and full of criminals dressed like businessmen.
You stand at the corner, sipping your drink, watching Bonten make quiet threats through polite conversation. Youâre used to it.
What youâre not used to?
The smug bastard from the Aichi syndicate who keeps eyeing you like youâre a luxury car he plans to test drive.
âYou always come to these things?â he asks, leaning closer. âBonten lets you off the leash often?â
You smirk. âI donât wear a leash.â
He chuckles low, eyes flicking down your body. âPity.â
You feel Kokonoi before you see him.
A calm, cold presence. A cologne that clings like silk and smoke. He doesnât interrupt. Doesnât even look at you. Just steps between you and the guy, smiling like a polite executioner.
âBoss wants a word,â he says, not even bothering to ask if the man minds.
He doesnât wait for a response. He just walks off. You follow him seconds later.
The office door clicks shut behind you.
You donât speak. Neither does he. You just watch him pour a drinkâslow, silent. Then: âYou let him talk to you like that?â
You scoff. âYou didnât seem bothered.â Kokonoi turns to face you nowâeyes sharp behind his glasses, voice too calm to be safe.
âIf he knew,â he says, setting the glass down, âwho you belonged to, he wouldnât have looked at you.â
You cross your arms, defiant. âSo tell them.â
âYou know I canât.â
âThen donât act like Iâm yours.â
You didnât expect him to move so fast. He grabs your wristânot hard, just firm. A reminder.
âI donât need to act,â he murmurs. âYou are mine.â
You stare at him, heartbeat racing.
âProve it.â
His hand slides up your arm, slow and reverent, until it cradles your jaw.
âI donât make scenes, sweetheart,â he whispers. âI make promises.â
Then he kisses you.
Hot, slow, consuming. The kind of kiss that says I donât need the world to know, as long as you do.
You gasp against his mouth, whispering, âHajimeââ
That name. God, the way it sounds from your lips.
He exhales shakily. âSay it again.â
You do.
And thatâs when he backs you up against his desk, fingers gripping your waist like heâs never letting go.
âIâll keep quiet in public,â he breathes, mouth on your throat. âBut if anyone touches you again?â
He kisses you harderâhungry, desperate.
âIâll bury them in designer suits.â
__________________________________________________________________________
Izana Kurokawa:
The night was almost too quiet.
Izana had been tracking your every move for weeks now. Heâd noticed the little thingsâthe way youâd smile at someone a little too long, the way your hand would linger on a glass, as if contemplating what you really wanted.
Tonight, though, was different.
The way that man had looked at you? The one in the corner of the bar, leaning a little too close, smirking at you with those predatory eyes?
Izana knew exactly what he was doing. He'd seen that look before.
A look that said you were a prize to be claimed.
You werenât his. Not yet. But you were something he couldnât let go of. And tonight, you would learn that.
You had been sitting with your friends, talking and laughing as the music pulsed around you. It was easy to forget that Izana was watching you from across the roomâsilent, like a predator waiting for his moment.
But then that moment came. The man youâd been chatting with, the one who thought he could charm his way into your attention, leaned a little too close.
A soft chuckle escaped him, and his fingers brushed against your arm in a way that made Izanaâs teeth grind.
You didnât notice it. You were caught up in the conversation, the laughter, the harmless flirtation. But Izana had seen enough.
The moment you stood to excuse yourself, Izana was already thereâlike he had been waiting for the exact second.
âLeaving so soon?â he asked, his voice low but filled with something darker than amusement.
You turned, eyes widening slightly as you saw him standing thereâclose. Too close. His presence suffocating, overwhelming.
âNot yet,â you said with a smile, but the tension was palpable. âJust getting some air.â
âYou donât need to get air,â he said, his hand resting lightly on your lower back, the warmth of it sending a strange shiver through your body. âYou need to leave with me.â
You raised an eyebrow. âLeave with you? Is that an order, Izana?â
He didnât smile. He didnât need to.
âYou donât need to be here anymore,â he said, his voice colder now, more authoritative. âThe people who want to touch whatâs mineââ He didnât finish his sentence, but the implication was clear.
Youâd never seen him like this before. Calm. Collected. But there was an edge, something dangerous swirling beneath his mask.
âMine?â you asked, testing the waters. âWho says you own me?â
His eyes darken, and before you can take another step, his hand is on your wrist, pulling you just a little too close. âDonât make me remind you,â he murmurs, his breath warm against your ear. âIâve always had my eye on you. And I wonât let anyone else take whatâs mine.â
His words hang heavy between you, thick with meaning. Heâs not just talking about possession in a physical sense. Thereâs something deeper there, something primal.
The air around you thickens, your heart beating harder in your chest. But despite the fear, thereâs an undeniable spark. An intense pull that draws you toward him.
âYou know, Izana,â you say softly, voice low with a hint of a challenge. âYou act like you can control me.â
âI donât need to control you,â he replies, his thumb brushing against your wrist as he tightens his grip just enough to remind you heâs in charge. âI just need you to understand that you belong with me.â
You open your mouth to respond, but before you can speak, he closes the gap between youâhis lips crashing into yours with a fierce hunger.
Itâs not gentle. Itâs not sweet.
Itâs possessive.
Itâs demanding.
When he pulls away, his fingers trace the edge of your jaw, his gaze steady, searching. âYou belong to me, and I wonât share you with anyone.â
__________________________________________________________________________
Kazutora Hanemiya:
The night is heavy with silence as you sit in the dimly lit room, watching Kazutora as he paces. His eyes are distant, his hands trembling slightly as he clenches and unclenches his fists.
The familiar weight of his presence is suffocating, but you donât move. You wait. Because you know. You know how hard it is for him to let anyone in, especially someone like you.
âYou should go,â he mutters, his voice hoarse, almost broken.
You frown, standing from the couch. âKazutoraâŠâ
He doesnât look at you. He never does when the guilt hits him like this.
âWhy do you stay?â he asks suddenly, his voice shaking just enough to betray the hardness he tries to maintain. âAfter everything Iâve done⊠Why do you stay?â
You donât hesitate. You step closer, reaching out to touch his arm. âBecause I see you, Kazutora. I see the real you.â
He flinches at your touch, as though your hand burns him, but doesnât pull away.
âIâm a monster,â he whispers, his voice breaking. âIâve done things I canât take back. I donât deserve someone like you.â
You swallow the lump in your throat, your heart aching for him. He never lets anyone in this much, and yet here he isâvulnerable, open, and raw with you.
âYou donât get it,â he continues, turning his head just enough to glance at you. âI need you. I donât know how to live without you. But Iâm scared. What if I ruin this too?â
You step forward, closing the gap between you, and pull him into a hug. Kazutora stiffens at first, as if unsure of how to react, but then he exhales a shaky breath and wraps his arms around you. His grip tightens as if youâre the only thing holding him together.
âIâm not going anywhere,â you say softly, your fingers tracing along the back of his shirt, feeling the tension in his body. âIâm here for you. All of you.â
His head falls against your shoulder, and you can feel the weight of the years heâs carriedâguilt, pain, and loneliness. He doesnât say anything at first, just breathes in the comfort of your touch, the only real solace heâs known in a long time.
âI hate myself,â he admits quietly, his voice muffled by your shoulder. âI hate that Iâm like this⊠but I canât stop myself from needing you.â
You pull back slightly, just enough to look into his eyes, and you can see the conflict thereâhis fear of pushing you away, his fear of losing you.
âIâm not leaving,â you whisper, your thumb brushing his cheek. âYouâre not alone, Kazutora. Iâm not going anywhere. Not now. Not ever.â
His eyes search yours for a moment, as if trying to gauge if youâre telling the truth. And then, finally, his shoulders relax. His gaze softens, just a little, and his lips curl into a small, shaky smile.
âDonât leave me,â he breathes, his voice thick with emotion.
âI wonât,â you promise again.
His lips crash into yours before you can say anything more, desperate and rough, as though heâs trying to pour all his emotions into the kiss. The need to be loved. The need to feel real. The fear of being abandoned.
Itâs not gentle. Itâs not soft. But itâs real. And for Kazutora, thatâs all heâs ever really wanted.
As he pulls away, his forehead resting against yours, his breath ragged, he whispers, âI donât know how to live without youâŠâ
You cup his face gently, looking him in the eyes.
âYou donât have to,â you say, your voice steady, grounding him. âIâm not going anywhere, Kazutora.â
And for the first time in what feels like forever, he believes you.
"How they react when they get called by their full Name" // Tokyo Revengers
Charakters: Mikey, Sanzu, Kokonoi, Mitsuya, Chifuyu, Kazutora, Ran, Rindou, Izana
Synopsis: Thereâs one thing every Tokyo Rev boy knows: when you drop their full name â first and last â theyâve seriously screwed up. It could be a forgotten date, a stolen dessert, a jealous outburst, or just plain stupidity, but once that name leaves your lips? Oh, they feel it.
CW: Light cursing, jealousy/possessiveness, mild violence (slaps, fights), flirty teasing,emotional tension
Mikey (Manjiro Sano):
The sun was beginning to dip behind the horizon, casting a soft orange glow over the Musashi Shrine. The old Toman gang had gathered there, much like they always did. Lounging on the steps and chatting about their plans for the next big move. Mikey stood at the forefront. His jacket casually draped over his shoulders as he began to talk about the upcoming fight with another gang. Draken, always close behind him, kept an eye on the rest of the group, ensuring no one got too rowdy.
Suddenly, his eyes shifted as he noticed movement near the shrine stairs. At first, he couldnât make out who it was â the person was still too far away. But when a loud, clear âMANJIRO SANOâ echoed across the quiet shrine, he knew exactly who it was.
The whole group froze.
Heads turned in unison, eyes wide as they realized it was none other than Mikeyâs girlfriend â and she was not happy.
Drakenâs eyes flicked to Mikey, who had stopped mid-sentence. His smirk fading into something more cautious. You walked through the crowd of Toman members. Your steps deliberate and filled with an icy determination. The guys instinctively parted to make room, stepping aside like a wave in front of you.
âMikey, what the hell...â Mitsuya, one of the vice-captains started to speak, but the instant your angry glare landed on him. He went silent. His words died in his throat and he wisely shut up, not wanting to get between you and whatever had set you off.
Everyone knew who Mikeyâs âwifeâ was â that teasing nickname for you when you and Mikey went official. And normally, you were the sweetest girl anyone could meet. The kind of girl they'd run into on a late-night walk down the city, smiling and saying hello to everyone. But the guys also knew that when you were angry, nobody wanted to be near you. You didnât need to use your fists to make your point. Your words were sharp enough to cut through anything.
And in that moment, every single one of them could tell that Mikey had messed up big time. Especially when you called him by his full name.
You reached the stairs where Mikey stood, the air around you heavy with the tension that had suddenly gripped the whole shrine. You didnât shout â you didnât need to. Your cold eyes alone sent a wave of fear through him. With barely a whisper, you spoke. âWhere is my dorayaki that was on my counter this morning?â
The moment you asked, Mikeyâs face paled slightly and his usual confident demeanor cracked. Just enough for Draken to notice the shift. He watched as Mikey's eyes darted around, his lips twitching, unsure of how to respond.
âBaby⊠I donât⊠know what youâre talking about,â Mikey said, his voice a little shakier than usual â nothing loud enough for the others to catch but Draken saw it. Mikey was genuinely scared.
Your gaze never wavered. Your face remained hard and you took a step closer. Your eyes locked on his. âDonât you dare lie to me.â
The silence in the air was thick and even the usual chatter between the Toman members had died down. Everyone sensing that this was no ordinary disagreement. Mikey swallowed hard, his confident smirk gone. âBabyâŠâ
The way you stood there â unmoving, your voice cold, your anger barely contained â made Mikeyâs insides twist. The entire shrine had become a pressure cooker and it felt like you were the only one in control.
He hesitated, then took a step closer, moving down a single stair. His eyes never left yours but you stood firm. Your arms crossed tightly in front of your chest. âIâm sorry, baby,â Mikey said, his voice softer now. âI didnât know those were yours.â He took another step toward you, trying to ease the tension. His usual carefree attitude replaced with a hint of concern.
Big mistake.
Without warning, you lunged forward, grabbing his ear in a swift motion. âHow dare you eat my sweets?â you hissed. Your grip firm enough to make him wince. âIâd been looking forward to that all day, Manjiro.â
His face contorted in pain but it was the way you were looking at him â that cold, steely look â that made him feel the full force of your anger. He knew heâd messed up and now he was paying the price.
âIâm sorry, princess,â Mikey groaned, wincing under your tight grip. âI swear, they were making fun of me. Telling me I should eat them. I didnât think it would be such a big deal. Iâll never do it again.â
But you werenât having any of it. The pain in his ear intensified as you squeezed harder. âDonât. Ever. Do. That. Again.â
Finally, with a final, sharp tug, you let go of his ear. It was red and Mikey winced as he rubbed it,. His eyes still apologetic. But before you could even begin to walk away, Mikey quickly grabbed your wrist holding you in place.
You shot him a glare, making it clear with a look that he needed to think very carefully about what he was doing next. âLet go of me,â you muttered, your voice low but threatening.
âIâm really sorry, Y/N,â Mikey murmured. His voice softening as he pulled you closer, planting a gentle kiss on your forehead.
You closed your eyes at the sensation. Your body relaxing just a little bit as your frustration started to melt away. A heavy sigh left your lips as you opened your eyes, staring at him again. âYou better make it up to me or you can sleep on the couch tonight.â
âOuch,â Draken heard Chifuyu mutter under his breath. A small laugh following. The tension in the air had slightly lifted but it was clear Mikey wasnât off the hook yet.
âI wonât do it again,â Mikey promised, his voice soft and sincere. His grip on your wrist loosened as his hand moved gently to your face. âBut please⊠donât call me by my first name again. Iâm sorry, baby.â
Before you could say anything, Mikey leaned down and kissed you softly on the lips. It was warm and comforting. A stark contrast to the anger that had flared moments ago. You kissed him back. Your hand moving to the side of his face, your thumb gently caressing his cheek.
âIf you ever do this again,â you warned, pulling back slightly but keeping your hand on his face, âI will be your worst nightmare.â
Mikey smirked, his usual cocky confidence returning â just a little bit â as he leaned down to kiss you again. This time, the kiss was brief but meaningful and when you pulled away you dropped onto the last step of the shrine, sitting down with a sigh.
Mikey removed his jacket, draping it over your shoulders with a small, playful smile. âAlright, Iâm gonna finish the meeting now. Iâll make it up to you, I promise.â
With that, Mikey turned back to the group. His usual carefree attitude settling back into place but he kept a soft smile on his face, knowing heâd narrowly escaped a much worse fate.
___________________________________________________________________________
Sanzu Haruchiyo:
The Bonten boardroom was thick with tension â dark suits, whispered strategies, and Mikeyâs dead-eyed stare at the head of the table.
Sanzu leaned back in his seat, legs kicked up on the polished wood, twirling a butterfly knife in his fingers like the meeting was background noise.
That is, until the doors slammed open with a force that made Koko flinch and Rindou instinctively reach for his gun.
Every head turned.
And there you were.
Hair wind-blown, heels echoing like gunshots. Your expression locked in one single mood: rage.
You didnât even glance at the others â your eyes zeroed in on one person only.
"Haruchiyo. Sanzu."
His knife stilled mid-spin.
He blinked. Tilted his head.
âOhhh?â he drawled, an unstable grin curling onto his lips. âFull name⊠in front of my coworkers? Whatâd I do this time, doll?â
You marched right up to him and â crack.
The slap rang out. The room went dead silent. Even Mikey raised an eyebrow.
Sanzu didnât move. Just slowly turned his head back toward you. A red mark blooming on his cheek â and a completely unhinged smile spreading across his face.
âOh, youâre so hot when youâre mad.â
That did not help.
âDonât you dare,â you growled, eyes blazing. âYou forgot. You forgot our anniversary, Haruchiyo. You left me sitting alone at a reservation you made, looking like an idiot. Youâve done a lot of reckless shit, but thisâthis is what I donât forgive.â
Sanzu opened his mouth to joke again but one look at your face â how your voice wavered just slightly at the end â and something actually clicked.
He stood slowly, grin slipping into something more serious. His usual cockiness twisted with confusion and guilt.
âI âshit,â he muttered. âI didnât forget, I just â no. No, I did forget.â
You scoffed, turned on your heel.
âIâm done. Donât worry â youâll have time to spin your knife and play gangster without having to think about me ever again.â
You were almost to the door when Mikey spoke â quietly, but with weight.
âSanzu.â
He froze.
âIf you donât fix this in the next ten minutes, donât come back to the table.â
Everyone else stayed silent. They knew what that meant.
Sanzu blinked at his boss, then at you. He dragged a hand down his face. Then he was moving â fast.
You didnât make it to the elevator.
A hand caught your wrist, not rough but firm.
âWait,â he said, and for once his voice wasnât teasing. It was low. Serious. âI messed up. I know I did. You wanna break my nose next? Fine. You want a real apology? Give me tonight. Just tonight. Iâll fix it.â
You raised an eyebrow.
âI should walk out.â
âBut you havenât,â he said softly, tugging you closer. His other hand cradling the side of your face â right where your anger had turned his cheek red. âWhich means Iâve still got a chance.â
You didnât answer.
He leaned closer.
âLet me take you somewhere. Right now. Fuck the meeting. Mikey already said Iâm screwed either way.â
You bit your lip. Still furious. Still hurt.
But his eyes â sharp, wild, pleading â were locked on yours like nothing else in the world mattered.
ââŠOne chance,â you muttered.
âThatâs all I need.â
And with that, he dragged you out by the hand. You past a stunned Bonten, past Mikeyâs amused smirk. Ready to blow more money than sense fixing the night he shouldâve never forgotten.
___________________________________________________________________________
Kokonoi Hajime:
Your afternoon was peaceful â warm tea, a half-read book and your favorite playlist humming in the background.
Then your phone buzzed.
One alert. Then two. Then three.
âTransaction approved: „1,850,000 â Interior Luxury Aquatics.â âYour Bonten BlackCard was used at âKoiWorld Tokyoâ.â âEstimated delivery scheduled for this evening.â
You stared at your phone, blinking slowly like it might explain itself.
It did not.
Instead, it showed a picture of a koi pond with custom underwater lighting, soundproof filtration and a caption that read:
âPerfect centerpiece for a modern bathroom space.â
You stood up so fast your tea nearly spilled.
And you marched straight into the living room, already yelling.
âHajime Kokonoi!â
He was lounging like royalty â silk pajama pants, socks mismatched (as always), hair perfectly in place even though heâd clearly done nothing all day. The TV was on but muted and he was scrolling through his tablet like a man deep in international finance â or TikTok. It was hard to tell with him.
At the sound of his full name, he froze.
Then looked up, slow and cautious. â...Was it something I bought? Or something I said while half-asleep? Be honest. I need context before I defend myself.â
You held up your phone like a prosecutor presenting evidence. âA koi pond, Hajime?â
He tilted his head. âAh. The koi pond.â
âOh, there are others?â
âNo. Not yet. But imagine the possibilities.â
You gave him a look that could set fire to expensive wallpaper. âIn the guest bathroom?â
âListen, listen, I thought it through. Itâs the smallest bathroom, right? So guests donât spend too long in there scrolling through TikTok. But if you give them a calming aquatic feature to look at while they-â
â-youâre describing bathroom fish therapy right now.â
âExactly! You get it!â He beamed like heâd invented sliced bread. âItâs innovation, babe.â
You pinched the bridge of your nose. âWe agreed - no more extravagant impulse buys without telling each other. You promised after the rotating crystal gin shelf.â
âBut that one was sick. Admit it.â
âIt plays BeyoncĂ© when it opens.â
âLuxury,â he said, dead serious.
You paced the room, already imagining poor houseguests slipping on wet tiles while koi fish stared them down in judgment. âThis isnât about fish, Hajime. This is about you not listening. Again. You canât fix a boring bathroom by throwing seven fish in it and hoping for ambiance.â
He rose from the couch, holding his hands up in surrender. âOkay. Okay. I hear you. Maybe it was a little⊠extra.â
âA little?â
âThey gave me a discount if I named one of the koi after myself.â
You stared. âYouâre putting a fish in a bathroom and naming it Hajime?â
âWell, I was... but Iâll rename him if itâll help my case. What about... âIâm sorryâ?â
You were trying so hard not to laugh, and he knew it. He stepped closer, slipping his arms around your waist as your resolve crumbled slightly.
âBabe,â he said softly, brushing a kiss against your temple, âIâll cancel the installation if it really bothers you. Or Iâll move it to the terrace. Or build the koi a private spa in the guest bedroom. Whatever you want.â
âYouâre unbelievable.â
âBut Iâm cute,â he added with a wink.
You sighed. âIf I ever see you spending seven figures on fish again, Iâm calling you Hajime in front of Mikey. In front of everyone.â
He gasped. âThatâs cold.â
âEven colder than koi water.â
âOkay, now that was hot. Use that in bed later.â
You smacked his arm but you were laughing now. And he was grinning like a man who knew exactly how to get away with murder (and koi ponds).
___________________________________________________________________________
Mitsuya Takashi:
It was a quiet evening in the Mitsuya household. The living room was glowing warm with fairy lights, soft music hummed from the record player and the faint scent of freshly brewed tea drifted from the kitchen.
You were sitting on the couch, waiting.
Waiting⊠and waiting.
The lasagna you had lovingly made was slowly getting cold, the table set with care â candles, folded napkins, even that dumb little place card he always laughed about that said âTakashi â.
But he was late.
Not just ten-minutes-late.
Weâre talking an hour and twenty-seven minutes late, and he hadnât even texted.
You were just about to wrap the food up in cling wrap out of pure spite when the front door clicked open.
You didnât even look up when you heard the soft, familiar thud of his boots being kicked off.
âBaaabe, Iâm homeââ
âTakashi Mitsuya.â
The way you said it â calm, measured, yet dangerously poised â made him freeze in the doorway, jacket half-off one arm.
He blinked. â...Oh. Wow. The full name.â
You finally turned around.
He looked guilty as hell.
âIâŠâ He cleared his throat. âForgot?â
You crossed your arms.
Mitsuya walked slowly into the room, holding up both hands like you were a wild animal he didnât want to spook. âOkay, in my defenseââ
âYou promised,â you said, voice soft but stern. âYou literally promised you'd be home on time. And I didnât even burn the lasagna this time.â
He winced. âI know. I know. Toman meeting ran late, then I got caught up helping Hakkai fix a shirt for his date, and then I couldnât find my phone in all the fabric andâyeah, okay, Iâm gonna stop talking.â
You stared for a moment longer before turning away, muttering, âItâs fine. I shouldâve expected it. Youâre the one whoâs always taking care of everyone.â
There was a beat of silence.
Then:
â...Is this the part where you scold me more? Or kiss me?â
You blinked, turning slowly.
Mitsuya was grinning now â boyish and warm, clearly testing the waters, but sincere under it all. âBecause you only ever call me Takashi Mitsuya when itâs one of those.â
You tried not to smile. Tried.
âDepends. Do you think you deserve a kiss right now?â
He walked right up to you, slipping his arms around your waist and leaning his forehead against yours.
âI deserve a chance to earn one,â he said softly.
You exhaled a little laugh, eyes half-lidded. âYou always say the right thing.â
âI sew for a living, baby. I know how to thread things carefully.â
âGross.â
âYou love it.â
You did. So much it hurt sometimes.
You leaned up and kissed him â just once â before whispering near his ear, âYouâre heating up that lasagna yourself.â
âYes, maâam.â
âOh â and dishes too.â
He groaned dramatically, burying his face in your neck. âYou really know how to punish a man.â
âYou forgot our dinner date. Iâm letting you off easy.â
âI know. And Iâm grateful.â He paused, pulling back with a soft smile. âBut donât stop calling me by my full name. It sounds really hot when youâre mad.â
You rolled your eyes and walked away â but not before tossing back a teasing, âTakashi Mitsuya, youâre impossible.â
His grin was full of love.
And this time, he didn't miss dinner.
__________________________________________________________________________
Chifuyu Matsuno:
You had left the apartment for thirty minutes.
Just thirty.
Enough time to grab your package from the post office, pick up snacks, and come back to what was supposed to be a chill movie night.
What you came back to instead... was chaos.
There was flour. Everywhere.
The cat â who looked like it had fought in the Great Pastry War â bolted past you with a string of dough wrapped around its leg. The TV was paused on a baking tutorial. The counters were stacked with bowls, some with batter, one suspiciously empty, andâ
Oh no.
âCHIFUYU MATSUNO.â
A loud bang echoed from the kitchen.
You stormed in, and there he was: wide-eyed, mid-mixer, flour smudged on his cheek, apron crooked, and a cake that had clearly imploded in the oven behind him.
He blinked. âOkay, soââ
âDonât you âokay, soâ me.â
âBefore you get madââ
âI left you alone for half an hour. I asked you to boil pasta. Notâwhat is this? A Great British Bake-Off rejection arc?â
He pointed to the collapsed cake like it betrayed him personally. âThat was supposed to be a surprise! I was trying to make that caramel lava thing you said looked goodââ
âBy summoning Satan into the batter?â
He scratched the back of his head, sheepish. â...It did make a weird noise.â
You stared, exasperated beyond words. âAnd the cat?â
âOkay, the cat part wasnât me. Technically. I dropped the cream. She jumped in.â
âChifuyu, she looks like a haunted marshmallow.â
He stepped forward, laughing nervously, reaching out to brush flour off your jacket like that would somehow make up for it. âBut babe... I did it for you.â
âYou did arson in my kitchen for me?â
âNot arson! Itâs creative expression!â
âYou lit an oven mitt on fire!â
âSmall fire. Controlled. Kinda.â His eyes sparkled with that grin that made you weak in the knees and homicidal at the same time. âBut I mean... youâre not that mad, right?â
You raised your brows.
He smirked. âBecause you called me Chifuyu Matsuno. Which you only do when youâre two seconds from either throwing me out the window or kissing me.â
âGuess which one Iâm leaning toward.â
He leaned in, pressing a quick floury kiss to your cheek. âKiss, obviously. You canât resist me when Iâm covered in catastrophe.â
You sighed, letting your forehead rest against his. âYouâre lucky youâre cute.â
âI know. Now help me clean this up and Iâll order your favorite ramen. Double miso, no mushrooms.â
âFine. But youâre on cat-cleanup duty.â
Chifuyu looked over at the flour-coated feline, now trying to eat a whisk.
â...I deserve that.â
___________________________________________________________________________
Kazutora Hanemiya:
You hadnât meant to yell.
You hadnât even meant to cry.
But when Kazutora walked in that night â shoulders slumped, knuckles red, hoodie pulled low to hide the bruising on his jaw â something inside you snapped.
He hadnât answered your calls. Not one.
Hours of silence.
And then he just showed up, like he hadnât disappeared again. Like he didnât know what that kind of silence did to someone who loved him.
You stood there in the dim light of the apartment, arms crossed tightly. Trying to hold yourself together as the door clicked shut behind him.
And then it happened.
âKazutora Hanemiya.â
He flinched. Visibly.
The sound of his full name â sharp, deliberate, and full of everything you were holding back â cut through the room like a knife.
He didnât look up at first. Didnât meet your eyes.
âYou didnât call. You didnât text. I thoughtââ You swallowed hard. âI thought something happened.â
He dropped his bag wordlessly by the door.
âI told you,â you said, quieter now, voice thick, âI told you the last time â I canât go through that kind of fear again. Not from you. Not when Iââ
He finally looked up.
And god, his eyes were tired.
Not physically â but in that way Kazutora always got when his mind spiraled too fast for him to grab onto anything stable. That distant, fragile expression that said I don't know how to stay, even when I want to.
âI didnât want you to see me like this,â he murmured. âI lost control again. And I just... I didnât want to ruin the one good thing I have.â
You blinked away tears. âSo your solution was to disappear? Do you know what that does to me?â
He took a shaky step forward, hands half-raised like he wasnât sure if he was allowed to touch you.
âIâm not used to someone worrying about me,â he said, broken-soft. âNot like you do.â
You finally let out a breath that felt like it had been sitting in your chest for hours. âThen get used to it, Kazutora. Because Iâm not going anywhere. But I need you to stop running like Iâm going to disappear the second you mess up.â
He stared at you like you were the only solid thing in a world that always shifted beneath his feet.
âIâm sorry,â he whispered. âI didnât mean to shut you out. I just... I get scared.â
You stepped toward him, gently placing your hand on his bruised cheek. âSo do I. Every time you shut down like this.â
âIâll try,â he breathed. âFor you.â
You nodded, eyes softening. âAnd stop flinching when I say your full name. I only do it when I need you to listen.â
âI hear you,â he said, eyes closing as he leaned into your palm. âI hear you now.â
And in that quiet room, he finally let himself fall â not into chaos, not into guilt â but into you.
And for once, he didnât run.
_________________________________________________________________________
Ran Haitani:
The night had started out like any other, with Ranâs usual charm and swagger as he wrapped you in his arms and promised to make it home on time. He even kissed you goodbye with that mischievous grin that made your heart race.
But now, here you were â standing alone in the dimly lit apartment, the cool silence pressing down on you as the hours ticked by.
Your patience had worn thin.
You had trusted him, even though you knew how unpredictable things could get when his brother, Rindou, was involved. You trusted that he would be there when he said he would.
But as the clock struck midnight, that familiar feeling settled in the pit of your stomach â the feeling that Ran wasnât coming home.
Not again.
You were done being patient. Done waiting for a man who promised the world and never quite delivered. And so, with a heavy sigh, you grabbed your coat and stormed out the door.
You didnât know where you were going, but you knew you needed answers.
When you arrived at the underground club, where you knew Ran usually wound up after a Toman meeting, the last thing you expected to see was him sitting in a corner booth â alone. His head was tilted back, staring up at the ceiling as if the world didnât matter.
Your heart skipped a beat, and every step toward him felt like a weight you couldnât shake.
You were angry. You were hurt. But mostly, you were tired.
As soon as you reached the booth, Ranâs eyes flicked toward you, and for a brief moment, you could see the shock on his face. His perfect smile faltered.
âY/N?â His voice was low, and there was something about the way he said your name â like it was the first time he was seeing you in forever. But you didnât want to hear his soft tone anymore.
âRan Haitani,â you said, your voice cutting through the thick air like a blade. The use of his full name â not the teasing âRanâ or the quiet âbabyâ you usually called him â hit him harder than any punch.
His brows furrowed, and he stood up slowly. âBabe... whatâs wrong?â
You glared at him, taking a step closer, voice shaking with both fury and raw emotion. âWhatâs wrong? Whatâs wrong, Ran? Youâre whatâs wrong.â
He recoiled slightly, as if the force of your words physically struck him.
âI donât know why I keep letting you hurt me,â you continued, your voice rising in volume. âYou make promises, and then you break them. You show up late, and when you finally do, you expect me to just forget that you were never here. You expect me to wait around like everything is fine.â
Ranâs eyes softened, and he reached out to you, but you pulled back before he could touch you. His hand froze in mid-air, a silent apology hanging between you.
You stepped closer, lowering your voice to a near-whisper, but there was still so much fire in it. âYou think youâre the only one with a past full of mistakes, donât you? You think I donât know what itâs like to be scared of falling â to be scared that Iâm not enough, or that youâll just leave like everyone else?â
He closed the space between you, finally taking your hands in his with an urgency that made your heart skip. âY/N, I never wanted to hurt you. But I do.â
His confession was raw, too much to take in at once, and for a moment, you couldnât even breathe.
âI try. I really do. But when I get caught up in all the shit â with Rindou, with Toman... with everything Iâve built around myself â I forget what matters most. You. You matter the most.â
You didnât know if you should believe him. You didnât know if you could let him back in without getting hurt again.
âDonât shut me out, Y/N,â Ran whispered, voice hoarse, hands tightening around yours. âNot again. I canât lose you.â
The tension in the room thickened, but then Ran did something you didnât expect. He pulled you close, wrapping his arms around you tightly. His breath was warm against your neck, his heart pounding against your chest.
âPlease... donât leave me.â His voice cracked, and you felt it deep in your soul.
You didnât push him away. You didnât pull back.
Because despite everything, you didnât want to lose him either.
For a long moment, neither of you spoke, the only sound between you the quiet thrum of his heartbeat, his arms keeping you close as if you might slip away if he didnât hold you tight enough.
And then, with his forehead resting against yours, he murmured softly, âI know I messed up. But I swear, Y/N, Iâll spend the rest of my life proving to you that Iâm yours.â
You closed your eyes, exhaling the breath youâd been holding. âYou better. Because I wonât be here forever if you keep doing this to me.â
Ranâs lips gently pressed to your forehead, his voice full of sincerity. âI know. And I wonât give you a reason to walk away again. Iâll make it right, I promise.â
And in that moment, with all the weight of his past and yours hanging in the air, you allowed yourself to believe him.
___________________________________________________________________________
Rindou Haitani:
It was supposed to be a calm, easy evening. You and Rindou had been planning a low-key night, just the two of you. No Bonten meetings. No wild distractions. Just takeout and a movie.
But as usual, things never went according to plan when Rindou was involved.
The door slammed open. There he was â looking like a mess.
You had barely taken a bite of your food before your phone buzzed with an unknown number.
âWhere are you?â it read. âDon't wait up for me.â
That was it.
You hadnât seen him for hours, and now he was texting you this?
By the time he came back home, you were already on edge. You had done your best to keep cool, but when Rindou walked in with a smug grin on his face, late as usual, you had had enough.
You didnât even look up from the couch. You were too busy staring at your phone, pretending you werenât fuming.
âWhat, no welcome home kiss?â Rindou teased, swaggering into the living room. He tossed his jacket over the back of a chair and cracked his neck. âArenât you glad to see me?â
And that was when it happened.
âRindou Haitani.â
The words came out sharper than you intended, and you instantly saw the flicker of shock in his eyes. He froze, his playful smirk faltering as he processed your tone.
He blinked. âFull name now? Damn, I really messed up this time, huh?â
You stood up, your body trembling with barely contained anger. âYou disappear for hours and when you finally show up, you think you can just-â You threw your hands up in the air. âYou think you can just act like itâs nothing? Like Iâm just supposed to keep waiting around while you do whatever the hell you want?â
Rindou chuckled nervously, but there was a flicker of uncertainty in his gaze now. âHey, come on, donât be like that. I was busy, okay? Things came up.â
âBusy?â You scoffed, taking a step closer to him. âYouâre always busy, Rindou. With meetings, with Bonten, with whatever the hell else youâre involved in! You never have time for me anymore.â
The grin on his face faltered for a second, but it was quickly replaced by an almost defiant look. âIâm here now, arenât I?â
You shook your head, crossing your arms over your chest. âNo. You donât get to do that. You donât get to treat me like Iâm nothing when Iâve been nothing but patient with you. Iâm tired of being the afterthought, Rindou.â
And that was when it clicked for him. The words you had said. The weight in your voice.
But instead of apologizing. Instead of stepping back, Rindou did something that took you completely off guard.
He reached out and yanked you toward him, pinning you against his chest. The surprise left your lips but you didnât have time to react before he kissed you.
It was a kiss full of desperation â lips crashing into yours as if he was trying to prove something. His hands were urgent, tugging at your shirt like he couldnât quite get close enough.
You pushed against his chest. Trying to break free, but the more you struggled the tighter he held you. âRindou, get off me-â
âNo,â he muttered, his voice low, his grip on your waist firm. âIâm not letting you go this time.â
And it hit you like a wave. He wasnât doing this out of arrogance. He was doing it because he didnât know any other way to fix things.
Finally, you stopped fighting. The anger drained from your body, replaced with something softer â but still, you werenât going to make it easy on him.
You pulled away slightly, breathless. âYou canât keep doing this, Rindou. You canât just waltz in here and think everythingâs fine.â
He rested his forehead against yours, his fingers lightly brushing through your hair. âI know. I know. Iâm an idiot, okay? Iâm sorry.â
You raised an eyebrow. âThatâs it? Just a âsorryâ? After everything?â
He smirked. âWell, itâs a start.â
A small laugh escaped you despite yourself. âYou really are something else.â
But before you could fully process the situation, he had you pinned again, this time with a playful grin.
âYou really know how to make a guy work for it,â Rindou teased, his voice now back to its usual teasing tone.
You sighed, shaking your head, but a smile tugged at the corners of your lips. âYouâre insufferable.â
âAnd yet,â he leaned in, kissing your forehead lightly, âyouâre still not getting rid of me.â
âDamn right,â you muttered, âBut donât think this is over. Youâre going to have to earn back my trust.â
Rindouâs eyes sparkled with that mischievous glint but underneath it, you could see the sincerity â for once. He wasnât just playing games. He was all in, even if he was chaotic about it.
âFine,â he grinned, pulling you back into his arms. âBut Iâll make sure to do it in the most dramatic way possible.â
âOf course you will.â
And despite everything â the mess, the chaos, the late nights â you couldnât help but feel like maybe, just maybe, this was the start of something real between you two. Even if it was a little messy.
_________________________________________________________________________
Izana Kurokawa:
You were fuming. It wasn't anything big, but it was the little things that piled up, and today, Izana had done one too many. Heâd left his dirty clothes everywhere, again. His shoes were in the living room, and the smell of his cologne still lingered in the hallway like he thought he was some sort of royalty. You had tried to be patient, but something snapped when you saw his jacket just thrown over the back of the couch, taking up space where you wanted to sit.
"Izana Kurokawa!" you exclaimed, hands on your hips as you marched into the living room.
Izana was lounging on the couch, completely unaware of the storm brewing. He didnât even glance up when you said his full nameâjust continued scrolling on his phone with his signature lazy grin.
You crossed your arms tighter, glaring at him. "Do you have to leave your stuff everywhere? How many times do I have to tell you?"
He finally looked up, unfazed. âMmm⊠I think youâve told me about three times already,â he said, his eyes glinting with amusement. âBut you know, I just canât help it. I like to make myself comfortable.â
That was the moment it became clear to you that he was teasing you. Your irritation deepened. âComfortable? I swear, you think everything should revolve around you!â
You could feel yourself getting worked up, but instead of saying anything else, you turned your back and started picking up his things, throwing them in his direction.
Izana sat up, suddenly intrigued. His eyes narrowed playfully as he watched you continue your mini-rampage. âYou look cute when you're angry, you know that?â
That did it. You whirled around to face him, pointing a finger in his direction. âIzana Kurokawa, you better-â
But before you could finish, Izana was up in a flash, crossing the space between you in an instant. With a grin that could melt anyone's heart, he cupped your face gently, pulling you in for a kiss.
It was slow at first, a quiet moment that silenced your angry thoughts, his lips warm against yours. Your eyes fluttered shut as the tension in your body melted away, and for a second, all you could feel was his touch.
You pulled away slightly, breathing a little heavier, and without thinking, you snapped, âYou canât just kiss your way out of everything, you know.â
Izana ignored you completely, smiling wider as his hand slid to the back of your neck, pulling you back in for another kiss, this one deeper, making you forget the very reason you were mad in the first place.
When he pulled away, you were slightly breathless, your frustration evaporating into a faint smile despite yourself.
He leaned his forehead against yours, looking into your eyes with that familiar playful glint. âI can and will kiss my way out of anything,â he said, his voice low and teasing. âBut hey, Iâll pick up my stuff, okay? No need to get so worked up over my shoes.â
You blinked at him, trying to hold onto your frustration, but it was like trying to keep sand in your hands. âIzana...â
He kissed you once more, interrupting your half-hearted protest. âShh, itâs fine, babe. Donât worry about it. Iâll even go get your favorite snack later, just to make up for it.â
You sighed, trying not to smile as you pushed against his chest, though there was no real strength behind it. âYou really know how to get out of trouble, donât you?â
Izana grinned and gave you another quick kiss on the lips, his hand resting on the small of your back. âWhat can I say? Itâs a gift. Now⊠letâs go get those snacks I promised. Youâll forget all about my shoes.â
You couldnât help but laugh. As much as you tried to stay annoyed, Izana had that effect on you. He knew how to turn even the most frustrating moments into something playful and lighthearted.
The "I broke up with you not because I stopped loving you but because I realized you're too good for me and I'm terrified I'll ruin you, so I let you go thinking I was being noble, and now I'm absolutely drowning in regret and willing to grovel" pipeline. I'm absolutely feral for this. Let's go!!
I picked the ones who'd feel unworthy most viscerally and show how they'd crawl back.
â TOKYO MANJI GANG
Mikey
Why he broke up: You were his light. The only person who made the darkness quiet. And that terrified him. He started seeing his own "dark impulse" creep into moments with youâa flash of possessiveness, a nightmare that made him snap awake and check that you were still breathing. He convinced himself it was only a matter of time before he destroyed you like he destroys everything else. So he ended it. Coldly. No explanation that made sense. Just "I can't do this anymore." He walked away before you could see him cry.
The regret: Every day without you is gray. His snacks taste like nothing. Draken notices Mikey staring at nothing, and when asked, Mikey just says, "She's safer now." But he doesn't believe it anymore. He realizes that you made him saferâyou were the anchor, not the target. Every girl he sees, he compares to you, and none come close. Your laugh echoes in his head. He finds an old photo of you two and just... stares at it for hours.
Crawling back: He shows up at your door at 3 AM on his bike. No grand speech preparedâhe's never been good with words when it matters. His eyes are red-rimmed. He just says, "I thought I was protecting you. But I think I just broke the only thing that was keeping me alive. I know I don't deserve another chance. But I'll spend the rest of my life trying to earn one. Please." He'll wait in the cold all night if you ask him to. He's not leaving without your answer.
Draken (debated a bit to add this cause this guy has Emma)
Why he broke up: Draken's whole identity is built on being the protector, the reliable one, the pillar. But with you, he started feeling... vulnerable. You saw through the tough exterior to the orphaned boy who just wants to be loved. That scared him more than any gang fight. Then he messed upâmaybe he was too busy with Toman, missed an important date, or snapped at you from exhaustion. Instead of forgiving himself, he decided you deserved someone without his baggage, someone who could give you a normal life. He ended it with brutal honesty: "You deserve better than a gangster who can't even give you a future. I'm letting you go before I drag you down."
The regret: He functions. He leads. He fights. But Mikey is the first to notice Draken's smiles don't reach his eyes. He still checks your social media from a burner account he'd never admit to having. He fixes bikes and imagines you sitting on the back, arms around his waist. He goes on exactly zero dates. No one is you. No one else has your patience, your laugh, the way you'd trace his tattoo absentmindedly. He realizes that pushing you away wasn't protecting youâit was cowardice dressed up as honor.
Crawling back: He's not the type for big gestures, but he'll show up clean, sober, and with his heart in his throat. He'll knock, and when you open the door, he'll bow his head slightlyâDraken, bowingâand say, "I told myself I was being selfless. That was a lie. I was scared. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I ran from it. I don't expect you to take me back. But I need you to know... I'll wait. However long it takes. I'm not running again." He hands you a small giftânot expensive, but something deeply personal he remembered you mentioned once, months ago. He remembered everything.
Takemichi. (HINA'S MAN)
Why he broke up: Takemichi's self-esteem is in the gutter. He looked at youâkind, amazing, way out of his leagueâand a voice in his head (that sounds suspiciously like his own self-doubt) whispered, "She'll realize eventually. You're a crybaby. A nobody. She's just with you out of pity." The thought consumed him. He started overthinking every interaction. Maybe he fumbled somethingâforgot an anniversary, got flustered when your friends asked what he "does." Instead of communicating, he spiraled and preemptively ended things, giving some shaky, tearful speech about how "you deserve someone who can give you the world" while internally begging you to argue.
The regret: Instant. The moment the words leave his mouth, he wants to take them back. He cries â a lot. Chifuyu and the others have to physically stop him from calling you 47 times. He writes apology letters he never sends. He starts working out, getting a job, trying to become "worthy" of you, but nothing fills the void. He sees couples on the street and physically aches. Hina literally slaps him on the back of the head and tells him to stop being an idiot and go get you back.
Crawling back: It's messy. He shows up out of breath, tears already streaming, with a crumpled bouquet and a speech he rehearsed 100 times but immediately forgets. "I-I know I'm a crybaby and I'm weak and I'm definitely not the coolest guy, but I realized that pushing you away was the dumbest thing I've ever done â and I've done a lot of dumb things! You're the standard. There's no one else. There never will be. I'll spend every day becoming someone worthy of you if you just... give me another chance." He's on his knees before he realizes it. Genuine, pathetic, heartfelt. He means every word.
Baji
Why he broke up: Baji's love language is fighting the world for you. But when things got serious, he looked in the mirror and saw his mother, his circumstances, his feral natureâand decided you deserved a soft, gentle love he wasn't sure he could provide. He's rough. He punches first, asks questions later. What if that roughness spills onto you? He'd rather die than hurt you. So he did the most Baji thing possible: he picked a stupid fight, said things he didn't mean, and stormed off before you could see him break. He told himself it was for your own good.
The regret: He's insufferable. Picking fights with everyone, even more volatile than usual. Chifuyu is exhausted. Kazutora notices Baji staring at his phone, thumb hovering over your contact, before shoving it in his pocket with a growl. He still wears the bracelet you gave him. He sleeps on your old hoodie. His mom asks about you, and he just grunts and leaves the room. He's miserable, and everyone knows it. He realizes he never even gave you a chance to decide if you could handle his lifeâhe decided for you. That's not protecting you. That's just fear.
Crawling back: He shows up with a split lip from a fight he got into on the way, because he's nervous. He just stands at your door, fists clenched, not meeting your eyes. "...I'm an idiot." Pause. "I thought I was doing the right thing. But all I did was make us both miserable. You're the only person who ever made me feel like I wasn't just a wild animal. I'm not asking you to fix me. I'm asking... if you'd let me be yours again. I'll do better. I swear." He finally looks up, and his eyes are wet. Baji. With tears. That's how you know.
Chifuyu
Why he broke up: Chifuyu overthinks everything. He's loyal to a fault, but he also internalizes every failure. When work at the pet shop got stressful, when Toman drama escalated, when he missed a call or forgot a dateâhe didn't see it as a busy life. He saw it as him failing you. He started pulling away, convinced he wasn't good enough, that you'd eventually leave anyway. So he ended it "first," with some painfully mature, self-sacrificing speech about "not being able to give you the attention you deserve right now" while his heart was screaming.
The regret: He cries into Peke J's fur. He replays every moment of your relationship, cataloging every mistake. He still visits your favorite café, still orders your drink, still looks at the door hoping you'll walk in. He talks about you to Takemichi with this hollow, faraway look. "She was the one, man. And I blew it because I got in my own head." He considers every possible way to fix it but fears it's too late.
Crawling back: He shows up with your favorite coffee order, a handwritten letter, and Peke J in a little bandana that says "Sorry." He doesn't try to be cool. He's just honest. "I convinced myself I wasn't enough for you. That's not your problem to fixâit was mine. But I've realized that losing you didn't make my life easier. It made it empty. You set the standard for what love should feel like, and nothing else comes close. If you can forgive me, I promise to stop making decisions for both of us. Just... let me prove I can be the man you deserve." He's sincere, steady, and already pulling out a small calendar to show you the dates he's kept free for youâjust in case.
Kazutora
Why he broke up: This one hurts. Kazutora's trauma runs deepâabandonment, guilt, a fractured sense of self. When he started to fall for you, genuinely fall, a voice in his head (that sounds like his own worst fears) whispered, "You're a murderer. You're broken. She'll see the real you and leave." The paranoia became unbearable. Every kind word from you felt like a lie he didn't deserve. Every happy moment felt borrowed. He couldn't handle the anxiety of waiting for the other shoe to drop. So he dropped it himself. He broke up with you in the most self-destructive way possibleâpushing you away with cruel words, making you think he didn't care, because it was easier than admitting he loved you too much to let you stay with someone like him.
The regret: He spirals. Hard. Chifuyu and Baji (in timelines where Baji is alive) find him in a dark place. He doesn't eat. He doesn't sleep. He just stares at walls, muttering that he ruined the only good thing he ever had. The rehabilitation he worked so hard for feels meaningless without you. He keeps your photo. He almost throws it away a dozen times but never can. He realizes, slowly, that breaking up with you wasn't protecting you from his darknessâit was punishing himself, and you became collateral damage.
Crawling back: This takes time. He has to get to a better mental place firstâmaybe with therapy, maybe with friends forcing him to face his worth. When he finally shows up, he's trembling. His voice cracks. "I... I thought I was saving you from me. But I was just... doing what I always do. Running. Destroying. I know I'm not fixed. I may never be fully fixed. But you made me want to try. You made me believe I could be more than my worst mistake. I'm sorry I hurt you to hurt myself. If you could ever... if there's even a chance..." He can't finish. He hands you a letterâpages and pages of everything he couldn't say. It's signed with a tiger doodle. A small, hopeful smile.
Mitsuya
Why he broke up: Mitsuya carries the weight of the world on his shouldersâhis sisters, his dream, his division. He's so used to caring for everyone else that when you started caring for him, he didn't know how to handle it. He felt guilty. He'd come home exhausted from sewing all night and find you'd made dinner, and instead of feeling grateful, he felt like a burden. The breaking point? You sacrificed somethinhâmaybe an opportunity, maybe sleep, maybe your own dreamâfor him, and he couldn't stomach it. He ended things gently, kindly, with some speech about "needing to focus on his family" that even he didn't believe.
The regret: His sewing suffers. His designs are dull, uninspired. Mana and Luna ask about you constantly. "Where's Y/N-nee?" and he has no answer that doesn't make him feel like a failure. He sees a fabric you'd love and buys it on instinct, then stares at it for an hour. He realizes that you never made him feel like a burdenâhe did that to himself. You chose him every day, and he threw it away because he didn't know how to be chosen.
Crawling back: He knits you something. Of course he does. A sweater, or a scarf, in your favorite color, with a detail only you would understandâan inside joke woven into the pattern. He shows up with it folded neatly in his hands. "I'm not good at letting people take care of me. I convinced myself that accepting your love meant I was failing you somehow. But losing you taught me what failure actually feels like. You're the standard, not just for a partner, but for the kind of person I want to be. If you'll have me back, I promise to learn how to be loved. Starting now." He's calm but his hands shake slightly. The sweater fits you perfectly
Hakkai
Why he broke up: Hakkai's trauma with his brother left him with a warped sense of his own worth. He sees himself as weak, a coward, someone who needs protectingânot someone who can protect. When your relationship deepened, he panicked. What could he possibly offer you? His brother's abuse, his shyness, his inability to even order food without stuttering? He started pulling back, canceling dates, giving one-word replies. Then he ended it entirely, with a barely-audible "You can do better than me" and ran before you could argue.
The regret: Yuzuha finds him crying in his room. He won't talk to anyone. He watches your social media from afar, seeing you move on (or trying to), and it kills him. He starts training harder, trying to become "worthy," but the motivation is hollow. Mitsuya gently tells him that strength isn't just physical, and Hakkai breaks down. "She was the first person who made me feel brave. And I pushed her away because I'm a coward."
Crawling back: He's shaking like a leaf. Yuzuha probably had to shove him toward your door. He can barely look at you. "I-I know I said... that you deserved better. And I still think that. But... but I realized... I want to be better. For you. If you'll let me." He holds out a small, nervous bouquetâhe remembered your favorite flowers. "I'm sorry I was too scared to believe someone like you could love someone like me. I'll spend every day proving I'm worth the chance you gave me." He flinches, expecting rejection. If you say yes, he'll cryâbut happy tears this time.
Sanzu
Why he broke up: Sanzu's "unworthiness" is tangled with obsession and self-destruction. He genuinely believes he's a monsterâthe drugs, the violence, the things he's done for Mikey. But then there was you. You looked at him like he was human. It terrified him. He became paranoid that he'd taint you, that his darkness would swallow you whole. In a rare moment of fractured, twisted clarity, he broke up with youânot gently, but with manic intensity, screaming that you needed to "stay away from me before I destroy you too." He disappeared. No contact. Like he never existed.
The regret: He's worse. Much worse. The drugs don't numb the absence of you. He stalks your social media obsessively. He has photos of you he shouldn't have. He follows you from a distance, just to make sure you're safe, muttering that this is the only way he can "love" you now. But it's eating him alive. He realizes that pushing you away didn't save youâit just left him in hell alone. The scars on his mouth ache when he remembers your kisses.
Crawling back: This is dangerous and unhinged, but genuine. He shows up somewhere he knows you'll beânot in a threatening way, but in a desperate, shaky one. His eyes are wild. His voice is raw. "I tried. I tried to let you go. But I can't. You're the only thing that makes the noise stop. I know I'm broken. I know I'm not what you deserve. But I'll do anything. I'll stop... I'll try to stop... just please. Please don't leave me in the dark." He's on the edge. Your answer could pull him back or push him over. He knows it. You know it. It's terrifying and heartbreaking. (Proceed with caution, but the love is real.)
â BLACK DRAGON
Inupi (Seishu Inui)
Why he broke up: Inupi's loyalty is his defining trait, but it's also his curse. He's spent his life serving othersâKoko, Black Dragon, a ghost of the past. When he fell for you, he couldn't reconcile it. He felt like he was betraying his "purpose." More than that, he looked at his scarred face and his messy history and thought, "She deserves someone unmarked by all this." So he ended it quietly. No drama. Just "I'm not good for you. I'm sorry." And he walked away with the same stoic expression he wears into battle.
The regret: The scar on his face has never bothered him as much as it does now. He catches his reflection and thinks of you. He still visits the places you went together, sitting alone, saying nothing. Koko is the only one who notices something's off. "You look like you're mourning." Inupi doesn't deny it. He realizes that he's spent his whole life being loyal to causesâand you were the first person who ever felt like a cause worth putting himself first for. And he threw it away.
Crawling back: He doesn't call first. He just appears, leaning against your building, looking like he's been standing there for hours. "I've been an idiot." He speaks plainly, no excuses. "I thought I was being loyal to my path by pushing you away. But my path doesn't mean anything without you on it. You're not a distraction from my purpose. You are my purpose. If you can forgive me, I'll never make that mistake again." He reaches out, hesitant, his scarred face vulnerable in a way he never lets anyone see. His hand trembles. He'll wait forever for your answer.
Koko (Hajime Kokonoi)
Why he broke up: Koko's trauma revolves around money, loss, and the inability to save the people he loves. Akane's death shattered him. When you came along and started to heal those cracks, it triggered a panic response. He started obsessing over "providing" for you, drowning in work, treating the relationship like an investment he was failing. Then one day, he snapped. He told you he couldn't "afford" to love youânot financially, but emotionally. He couldn't risk losing someone again. So he preemptively ended it, cold and clinical, like terminating a contract. He was trying to protect himself, not realizing he was breaking you instead.
The regret: Money loses its appeal. He makes more than ever, and it means nothing. He sits in his expensive apartment, surrounded by wealth, and feels utterly bankrupt. He still keeps your photo in his wallet. He still calculates dates like anniversaries in his head. Inupi tells him, bluntly, "You didn't lose her. You pushed her away. There's a difference." That hits Koko harder than any fist. He realizes he's been so terrified of losing you to tragedy that he caused the tragedy himself.
Crawling back: He shows up in a designer suit, looking immaculate but hollow. He can't meet your eyes at first. "I'm aware this is a bad investment pitch. But I have to try." Then he drops the business metaphor and his voice cracks. "I was so afraid of losing you that I made sure it happened on my terms. I convinced myself I wasn't worthy of being loved after... after Akane. But you loved me anyway, and I punished you for it. You're the standard. There's no one else. I've checked. I'll always check, and it'll always be you. Please. Let me reinvest in us. I promise the returns will be better this time." He's trying to make you smile with the financial joke, but his eyes are terrified. He slides a small box across the tableânot a ring (too soon), but a key. To his place. "This is yours. It always was. I was just too scared to admit it."
â TENJIKU
Izana Kurokawa
Why he broke up: Izana's abandonment issues are so severe that genuine love feels like a trap. When things with you got realâwhen he started to actually need youâhis trauma screamed "Run before they leave you first." He became volatile, testing you with cruelty, waiting for you to break. When you didn't, when you stayed soft and loving, it confused him so deeply that he panicked. He ended it in the worst way possible: coldly, with a twisted smile, saying something like "I'm bored of you"â a lie so transparent it was practically a cry for help. He wanted you to hate him, because hatred was familiar. Love was terrifying.
The regret: He's a king without a kingdom. Everything tastes like ash. Kakucho watches him spiralâreckless fights, sleepless nights, staring at the horizon like you'll appear. He still wears a bracelet you gave him. He still whispers your name when he's half-asleep. He finally breaks down to Kakucho: "I did it again. I destroyed the only good thing I had because I don't know how to keep anything." He realizes that you weren't trying to trap himâyou were trying to free him. And he locked the door from the inside.
Crawling back: He doesn't know how to apologize. He's never learned. So he just shows up, looking regal and shattered all at once. He doesn't speak for a long moment. Then, quietly, without his usual arrogance: "I told you I was bored. That was a lie. I was terrified. Everyone I've ever loved has either left or died. I thought if I pushed you away first, it wouldn't hurt as much. I was wrong. It hurts more. Because this time, it was my fault." He sinks to his kneesâKing Izana, on his knees. "I don't know how to be loved. But I want to learn. Only from you. If you'll teach me. Please." He looks up, and there's no mask left. Just a broken boy who found something worth changing for.
Kakucho
Why he broke up: Kakucho has spent his life as the loyal soldier, the protector, the one who stands behind someone else's dream. When he fell for you, he started to imagine his own future for the first timeâand it scared him. He felt selfish. He felt undeserving. The scar on his face, his half-blindness, his bloody historyâwhat could he offer you? Then you had a moment of danger, maybe a close call he couldn't prevent, and he internalized it as his failure. He broke up with you the next day, saying, "I can't protect you and I can't give you the life you deserve. Find someone whole." He didn't cry in front of you. He waited until you left.
The regret: Izana notices. Kakucho is even more silent than usual, more reckless in fights, like he's looking for a punch he won't get up from. He visits your favorite places, always at a distance, just to catch a glimpse. He still has a photo of you two togetherâone of the only times he's genuinely smiling. He realizes that "whole" was never what you wanted. You wanted him. And he threw it away out of pride disguised as selflessness.
Crawling back: He shows up with a single flower and a speech he practiced a thousand times. "I told you to find someone whole. But I've realized... I was never whole until you. You saw past the scars and the violence and you loved the man underneath. I pushed you away because I thought it was noble. It wasn't. It was cowardice. I'm not asking for you to fix me. I'm asking for the chance to stand beside you again. I'll never walk away from you a second time. I swear it on my life." He offers the flower with a steady hand but vulnerable eyes. If you take it, the relief on his face could light up a city.
Ran Haitani
Why he broke up: Ran is charm and deflection. He's never let anyone past the surface. But you got there. You saw the emptiness behind the smirk, and instead of running, you stayed. That terrified him. He started making cutting jokes, deflecting affection, testing your limits. When he realized he was actually in loveâgenuinely, vulnerably in loveâhe sabotaged it. He picked a fight, said something flippant and cruel, and walked away like it meant nothing. He told Rindo later, "It's better this way. She deserves someone who isn't a performance." He almost believed it.
The regret: The smirk is gone. Rindo notices his brother is sharper, colder, but also... sadder. Ran still goes to the same bars, still orders the same drinks, still looks at the empty seat beside him. He has a photo of you saved, and sometimes he just stares at it, no quips, no jokes. Rindo finally says, "You're miserable. Go fix it." Ran laughs hollowly. "What if I can't?" But he knows he has to try.
Crawling back: He shows up with that lazy, disarming smile, but it falters quickly. "I'm supposed to be good with words. I'm drawing a blank." He runs a hand through his hair, genuinely nervous. "I've spent my whole life treating everything like a game. You were never a game. That's why I ran. You were real, and I didn't know what to do with real. I convinced myself you deserved better than a shallow Roppongi playboy. But I've realized... I wasn't shallow with you. I was the realest I've ever been. And I threw it away. If you let me back in, I promise no more performances. Just me. The me that loves you." He reaches out, palm up, no baton, no weapon, no defense. Just an open hand.
Rindo Haitani
Why he broke up: Rindo has always been in Ran's shadow, and his identity is tangled in being the "younger brother." When he fell for you, a new identity emergedâyours. And it felt amazing. Until the insecurity crept in. She'll realize Ran is more charming. She'll get bored of me. I'm just the second choice. He started acting out, getting jealous over nothing, picking fights. Then, in a moment of self-sabotaging stupidity, he broke up with you, accusing you of "wanting his brother"âa lie his own brain manufactured. He regretted it the instant he saw your face.
The regret: He's a mess. Ran finds him listening to sad music, staring at the ceiling. "I ruined it. She was the one, and I ruined it because I'm an insecure idiot." Ran tries to comfort him, but Rindo won't hear it. He stalks your social media, sees you hanging out with friends, and spirals. He starts working on himselfânot for revenge, but because he wants to be someone you could be proud of. But he's terrified it's too late.
Crawling back: He's awkward, shuffling his feet, unable to meet your eyes. "I said some really stupid things. Things that weren't true. You never wanted Ran. You wanted me. And I couldn't believe that, because I've never been anyone's first choice. But you... you made me feel like I was. And I threw it away because I was scared. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. If you give me another chance, I'll spend every day making sure you know you're my first choice. Always." He holds out a small giftâyour favorite candy, the cheap kind you mentioned once. He remembered. He remembers everything.
â BRAHMAN
Senju Kawaragi
Why she broke up: Senju carries the weight of leadership, morality, and her brother's legacy. She's used to being the strong one, the decision-maker, the untouchable. But with you, she was soft. She let her guard down. And then someone in Brahman made a commentâ"The leader's distracted. Maybe it's because of that partner of hers." Senju panicked. She convinced herself her love for you was a liability, not just to her, but to you. If enemies knew, you'd be a target. So she ended it, with a cold formality that was completely unlike her. "I need to focus on Brahman. This is over." She didn't even cry until she was alone.
The regret: Brahman thrives, but Senju withers. She throws herself into missions with reckless abandon. Benkei and Wakasa exchange looks. Takeomi finally corners her. "You're punishing yourself." She breaks down. "I thought I was protecting her. But I just hurt the person I love most. What kind of leader does that?" She keeps your photo in her room, hidden under her pillow. She still texts you paragraphs she never sends. She realizes that being "untouchable" was never strengthâit was loneliness disguised as duty.
Crawling back: She comes alone, no Brahman escorts, no leader aura. Just Senju. "I gave you a speech about duty. It was a lie. I was scared. Scared that loving you made me weak, when really... it made me stronger than any fight ever could. I'm so used to protecting everyone that I forgot you were never a threat. You were my safe place. And I destroyed it. If you can ever forgive me, I'll spend the rest of my life being your safe place too. No more walls. Just us." She holds out her handâthe same hand that throws punches powerful enough to crack concreteâtrembling, waiting, hoping.
shitty little comic about how i haven't been feeling like making anything recently
yeah thatâs what im talking about
i know this will sound kind of dumb but i find it pretty difficult to understand the value of life, like when people say âyou only have this chance, do what you loveâ and i donât have any passions to live for, even when im married (itâs a wonderful marriage btw). whatâs the point on living if I donât have any goals? is living without a purpose enough? wonât i regret it? what is a purpose to begin with?
iâve been trying to reconnect with a younger ems who was still in love with life to try to remember what it feels like to be excited about the possibilities and the future, but the feeling doesnât stay for long
maybe i should go back to therapy? or the psychiatrist? or both? it sounds like burnout to me but idk
it all started back in high school when i didnât get to choose the career path i wanted and ended up getting a job i hated. now iâm unemployed and nothing is stopping me from studying something i loved like literature or philosophy but for some reason i canât find the motivation to do it? im usually very good communicating my feelings with my husband, but the guilt comes back every time I try to; as thoughts like âwhy canât i simply do it? why am i so hesitated to actually do something that might bring me close to my personal realization/growth?â keep invading my mind
if for some reason you are reading this have been through it too, please give me some tips
pd. for some reason itâs easier writing about my feelings in english than spanish
âzuko and katara arenât and will never be in love!â tell THAT to my chibi zutara
Kenma Kozume random scenario
After a year of announcing your relationship with Kenma to your fans and his as well, you've gotten used to their comments. Of course, most of the condescending and weird comments came from Kenma's fans, you've learned how to handle them.
Some of them being your own fans who love messing with you and Kenma for the fun of it.
âHow's the break up?â The robotic voice came through your pc. You didn't even act shocked or showed a sign of being fazed.Â
âOH right! Yes, you were the first person to know about it. Yes guys, me and Kenma have broken up. I don't know things just weren't working out anymoreâ You shrugged with a playful smile. You watched as chat played along with it.Â
Lotus Finder.
Masterlist.
Chishiya x Reader.
In the first game you met, Chishiya tried to sacrifice you. You've hated him since, to his amusement. So when you wake up in the real world after the Ace of Hearts makes you drink a potion? You're delighted, if you ignore that it is in his arms with a wedding band on your finger.
Words: 6253.
Comments genuinely make my day <3
Lovely people who wanted to be tagged: @9jloo @kimsri @s0ffelip0ffeli @van1shiro
Enjoy!
Your first impression of Chishiya was that heâd make a great ally. Heâs smart, ruthless, and, admittedly, quite attractive. So you teamed up with him.
But then, just ten minutes later, heâd tried to sacrifice you without as much as blinking.
Your second impression of Chishiya was that you hate him.
You survived, of course. Completely because of your own competence and a dose of luck.
And yes, these are games where players compete for their own survival.Â
So what? Youâre allowed to be pissed at someone for attempting to kill you.
Youâre allowed to be pissed when after the game was over, heâd simply shrugged with that damned smirk of his and told you: âYouâre alive, arenât you? ~âȘâ
Bastard.
So imagine your dismay when you found your way to the Beach, discovered it was a cult you couldnât leave, and this guy was one of the executives.
At least you had power and warm water again. A steady source of good food.
Worse, the first few games you played, he somehow always ended up assigned to your team. He seems to find amusement in watching you. He finds even more amusement when you end up in situations where you have to work together with him, and in your paranoia that follows.
He hasnât tried to use you as bait again, even though he has had no problems using anyone else in front of you.
It infuriates you that his attention is more on your reaction than on the poor souls that die in his name.
Their deaths help you too, but this is a world where people compete in death games. Sometimes you just have no choice.Â
You still spitefully hate him though.
Today, youâre finally approaching a venue without him. If youâd known that simply calling him out would make that happen, youâd have done so much earlier.
Instead of a clever remark or his smug assholery, heâd only tilted his head and asked you: âDo you not want me there?â
âI donât!â Youâd been frustrated at his eternally calm state. âWith you there I need to constantly be on my watch to make sure you wonât push me under the bus. And if we end up in a high level, one player survives diamonds game I donât stand a chance against you.â
âI see.â Heâd considered you with those eyes as cold and empty as the void of space before turning around to leave without saying anything else. As if whatever entertainment you provided him meant nothing to him.
You shouldâve been relieved, but itâd only aggravated you more.
But at least you got what you wanted: A game without him. A game where you can focus on surviving instead of having to keep an eye on the man the Beach forced you to ally with.
Itâs unfortunate, you think as the driver follows the signs onto a carnival, that this is the game Chishiya isnât here to play. Heâd be disgruntled with the location. Even more so when you step out in front of a fortune tellerâs tent. Heâd roll his eyes at that. You can almost imagine the kind of snarky comment heâd make.
But he isnât here, which is what you wanted, so you really should stop thinking about him.
The air is cloyed with the smell of incense, which makes you oddly nostalgic. While the scent is extreme, the Borderlands doesnât exactly smell nice. The artificial smell reminds you of the old world.
The tent itself is shrouded in shadow, small flickering flames from candles its only light source, just enough to illuminate an antique table holding a mystical crystal sphere surrounded by concoctions in small vials. The liquid is unlike anything youâd seen in the real world, more at home in a fantasy book than the darkness of the Borderlands. Hues of blue swirl around even though nothing is moving them, glitters catching the light of the flames.
You are startled when the voice of the announcer sounds from your phone, but unsurprised by the declaration of a heart's game.
âGame: Lotus Eater. Difficulty: Ace of Hearts.â Damn it. That means youâll have to play again tomorrow. âDuration: Four hours. Please take a vial and drink its contents. There is no variation between the vials or its contents. Clear condition: leave the venue within three minutes of its effect ending. The vials are not allowed to leave the venue.â
An ominous feeling leaves the hair on your arms upright. Just an ace. You remind yourself. Even in the Borderlands, the games tend to follow real world logic.
Still, you heavily dislike the idea of drinking what looks like a magical potion.
You down it anyway.
It tastes⊠clinical. Clean. Like expensive detergent but the option with the least amount of scent. By all rights, the taste should make you gag, but you donât. Instead itâs⊠pleasant.
Thatâs because it isnât a taste, you realise. Itâs a smell.Â
The ground beneath you is soft as you nestle your face against the pillow-
Wait.
Pillow?
You open your eyes. When did they close?
Youâre not in the fortune tellerâs tent anymore. Youâre in a bedroom.
The only light source comes from behind you, morning light seeping through the windows (how do you know itâs morning light?), illuminating the room enough to show you a bare, unfamiliar bedroom.Â
Thatâs not entirely fair. There are some trinkets strewn on shelves, hidden between medical journals.
Your trinkets. Trinkets that youâve gathered and kept over the years.
You spot some of your own clothes as well, caressly tossed over the back of a chair. There are other clothes too, neatly folded next to them as if spitefully making a point.
Wait. If someone elseâs clothes are here-
Itâs only now you realise that there is a warm weight pressed against your back.
What the fuck.
You almost jump up immediately, pushing whoever is behind you off, but you stop yourself.
This is a game.
First you should make sense of your surroundings.
You shift the slightest, hoping-
Yes. Youâre wearing clothes. Minimal clothes, just your underpants and a shirt where an arm that doesn't belong to you is slipped beneath, but youâre not naked. Relief floods your body, even if youâd wish for more clothes.
Focus.
You read the words on the backs of the journals, closing your eyes before reading them again.Â
They stay the exact same. Shouldnât they change if this was a dream?
Donât be stupid. Of course this is a dream or a hallucination. Your last memory literally was of you drinking a very suspicious liquid.
Still, itâs so real. You can feel each finger of the hand on your stomach, the softness off the mattress beneath you, you can hear the signs of Tokyoâs nightlife outsi-
Wait.
No way.
You bolt upright, letting the body slide off of you as you practically jump from the bed, making your way towards the window.Â
No way.
You stare outside after youâve opened the curtains.
Itâs still early, but the cars filling the road beneath your apartment window donât care, nor do the pedestrians on the sidewalk, busy as this part of Tokyo always is.Â
As it used to be, before the fireworks. Before everyone disappeared.
You ignore your name gruffly said behind you as you stare outside in astonishment.
People.
So many people.
People in suits. People in casual wear. People who are clearly not afraid of their VISA ending nor of the next game.
âŠAre you back in the real world? Did you do it?
This is a game. You remind yourself. A heartâs game. With a suspicious long duration of four hours.
Is that the point? To give you a glimpse of the real world before cruelly snagging it away?
âWhat are you doing.â
You stiffen. The male voice behind you sounds grumpy. More unnervingly, it sounds familiar.
You take a deep breath before turning around.Â
On the bed lies a very familiar figure. Chishiyaâs eyes arenât as empty as youâre used to. The signs are miniscule, but there is some chagrin in there. More unbelievably, the edges around his eyes are softened.Â
Even when that chagrin turns into a frown, that softening stays.
Your breath catches.Â
He was who you were entangled with moments ago? Chishiya? The same man whoâd tried to let the game kill you without hesitation?
He says your name in a low voice. When you donât react, he sits up, blankets pooling around his bare chest. âTell me whatâs wrong.â
You snort. âReally?â Youâre not sure whether youâre asking him or the gamemakers. At least the other games youâve played made sense. This? Waking up in a bed in the real world with Chishiya spooning you?
His lazy movements as he gets up are at least familiar, unlike the hints of emotions peeking through his eyes.Â
âWas it a nightmare?â He sounds, for once, puzzled. As if he does not think heâs right, but itâs the most reasonable answer.
This time you laugh. âA nightmare? You could say that.â The Borderlands certainly are. And this? You donât trust it not to be. It is a game after all.
Youâre surprised when, instead of stopping in front of you, he awkwardly moves his arms around you in a hug, silently pressing his face into your hair at the side of your head.
âDonât touch me!â You immediately, instinctively, push him off, those empty eyes from when heâd dropped you like nothing burned in your mind.
His frown deepens. âIf you donât want your usual support, tell me what you want me to do instead.â
âWhat if I want you to leave?â Youâre too used to your usual banter with Chishiya. Too used to him taking all of your barbs.
Something unpleasant passes through this Chishiyaâs eyes, and the softness disappears along with the other emotions, finally leaving only that blank face youâre used to.Â
âPut some clothes on. Weâre going to the hospital.â
Like hell you are. Four hours in the real world? That gift wonât be spent in some emergency room. âAbsolutely not.â
His words are slow as his eyes stay sharply on your face. âYour behaviour suggests that either youâve got a sudden, severe neurological issue or youâre not my wife. Given the unlikelyhood of the latter, weâre going to the hospital.â
Wife?
âWife?â
His gaze tightens, dropping pointedly down to your hand before meeting your face again, studying you the same way youâve seen him study games.
Your gaze drops down.
There is a simple but unmistakable wedding band on your ring finger.
Your eyes fly to Chishiyaâs hand, which he holds up for you to see. Or rather, itâs the matching wedding band he wants you to see.
You canât take your eyes off of it.
Chishiya? Are you supposed to believe that youâd ever marry Chishiya? âAm I supposed to believe that?â You accuse him. You accuse the gamemasters. âYou tried to kill me. Seriously, whoever made this game. Anyone else would be more believable. Iâve made it clear I hate him.â
That canât be a pained look on Chishiyaâs face. Heâs heartless. Your words have never even breached his shell before. He takes a deep breath, before he speaks again, his words a tad too controlled calm. âYouâre the only thing in my life I have even just a smother of care for. Thereâs a whole list of unspeakable things Iâd do before even thinking about hurting you.â There is a genuine emotion in his voice you refuse to recognise as love.Â
It makes you speechless.
This⊠wellâŠ
No one has ever told you anything close to that. No matter how much you wished them to.
You donât even know Chishiyaâs given name.
âSo tell me what you think is going on, and then let me help you.â His voice is soothing, as if heâs trying to coax a wild animal. As if heâs trying to manipulate you.
Fine. Fine. What does it matter? Heâs very unlikely to be real, no matter how little this feels like a dream. The game didnât give you rules, so it wonât earn you a laser through the head.
âItâs just another game.â You tell him. âAce of Hearts. Lotus Eater. I drank that stupid potion and now Iâm hallucinating.â
His eyes turn calculating. âYouâre talking about the Borderlands.â His hand comes up to press on the spot between your shoulder and your neck, causing you to stiffen. Youâre about to push him off again when you realise heâs feeling your pulse. âYet youâre clearly alive.â He removed his hand himself.
What? What does he know that you donât? Obviously youâre alive. Youâve fought hard for that. Is he claiming the Borderlands are purgatory?
âChishiya.â You demand. âTell me what that means.â
His eyes turn cold. âIt means the latter is becoming more probable. You are not my wife.â
With a shock, you realise that Chishiya hasnât looked at you with eyes that cold in a while, and to be looked at that way now, seconds after that unmistakable adoration in his voice⊠it causes something bitter to coil up in your gut.
Pushing that realisation away for later, you chastise yourself. This is Chishiya. Heâs absurdly competent. You definitely do not want to be his enemy.
âSo tell me.â He leans in slightly, not taking his eyes off of yours for a moment. âWho are you?â
 You give him your name. Why wouldnât you? Heâd called you by your own given name earlier, so maybe the fact that youâre still a version of his wife will placate him. Sure enough, the coldness melts a little.
âInteresting. So Iâm to believe youâre an alternate version of my wife?â He doesnât move away. âHow do I get her back?â
Well. Youâd assumed this to be a hallucination, but of course the man in front of you would act like heâs real. If this is real however, how would he get her back? âThe game is called Lotus Eater.â You repeat. âThe duration is four hours. I receive a game clear if I leave the venue within three minutes of the effect of the potion ending.â
âSo youâre stuck in my wifeâs body for four hours.â His voice sounds uncharacteristic, as if he wonât accept any other outcome.
His wifeâs body? You hadnât thought about it like that. You glance at a scratch you got yesterday on your shoulder. Itâs not there.
Weird. Yet your body doesnât feel alien. Shouldnât it?
No. Because this is a hallucination. Thatâs much more reasonable than this being an alternate dimension like Chishiyaâs suggesting.
Who is taking all of this quite easily. âWhy would you believe that over neurological damage?â
He leans backwards slightly, finally moving out of your personal space. âWhat was the date when people disappeared from Tokyo?â
âMy question first.â Youâre not in the mood for cryptic Chishiya.
âItâs part of the answer.â Those cold eyes are definitely less cold now, is that a hint of fondness?
You sigh. âJuly 7th.â
âJuly 7th of last year a meteorite hit Shibuya Crossing.â What? The fireworks? âI was at the hospital at the time. That was quite a long shift. Months after, it became noticeable that patients who underwent a cardiac arrest started to report surprisingly similar dreams. While not public knowledge, I have enough connections in the neurology department that I know about Kano Gamonâs government-funded studies. Which has confirmed the existence of the Borderlands.â He tilts his head. âFascinating study. The idea of having to play games to survive is interesting. If the afterlife is real, why wouldnât your story be true? Youâre not good enough of a liar to not genuinely believe what youâre saying.â
Chishiya just told you he believes the afterlife to be real. That youâre currently quite dead. Thatâs not the part that surprises you most however. âWait. You are a doctor?â
His lips curl up in amusement. âI am. Is that such a surprise?â
âYou donât care for anyone. You donât look twice at anyone whoâs injured.â You realise your mistake as you look at Chishiyaâs amused eyes. You donât have to care to be a doctor, do you?
Indeed. âWhy would your version of me? Even if he has any interest in helping people, it would put a target on his back. Iâm purely a doctor for the mental stimulation.â
Lie. Youâre not sure why youâre convinced that thatâs a lie, but (unfortunately) Chishiyaâs insistence of existing in your perimeter means you do somewhat know him. âLiar.â
That amuses this Chishiya more. âSo you do somewhat know me, yet you claimed he tried to kill you. Iâm assuming that wasnât recent, as you donât seem to hate me.â
Hold up. âI do hate you.â
Something complicated happens in his eyes, his amused smile stiffening for just the blink of an eye before it turns into a smirk. âLiar.â
âYou tried to sacrifice me. First game we met, just after agreeing to team up. I hate you for that.â
âLiar ~âȘâ
You roll your eyes. So maybe, just maybe, the hate you try to spitefully hold on to isnât as strong anymore as it once was. Maybe, just maybe, youâve started to⊠tolerate his habit of appearing and disappearing into your room like a cat.Â
Just tolerate.
âYouâre useful in the games.â You give in just a millimetre. âWhen I donât have to keep an eye on whether youâll stab my back. Which is always.â
Instead of the admittance you expected him to see it as, Chishiya frowns. He likely still sees that, but his focus is on something else. His earlier emotions already were a shock. Still, youâre startled again when he sounds concerned. âYou should. I might love my wife but I canât claim he loves you. We both know how I, or he, would play games.â
âExactly.â Itâs not like him to tell you something so obvious.
Nor is it like him to step back. To, instead of subtly trying to get more information out of you, simply offer: âYou have four hours in a Tokyo thatâs not abandoned. What do you want to do?â
You expected it to be exhilarating to be around ordinary people again. You were wrong.Â
Itâs⊠much. Your head keeps analysing anyone for the dangers they could pose. Youâre on high alert, immediately trying to assess the danger at every loud or unexpected sound.
Youâre in a metropolis. There are a lot of those.Â
You just canât convince your brain youâre not in active peril at the moment.
Chishiya notices. Of course he does. This time you donât push him off as one of his hands leaves his pockets to rest on the small of your back, silently guiding you to less busy streets. You donât even ask where you are going, your own plans abandoned with how stressed even just the roads are making you.
He leads you to an unassuming cafe, tucked in between other buildings, but you realise why the moment you step inside:
There are secluded booths. And youâre thankful for them.
Chishiya glances at you as you take a seat that has your back to the wall, but doesnât comment on it as you sit down. âThey have some board games available to use.â He tells you as he sits down opposite of you. âThis is where my wife takes me when she insists we go out of the house.â
You ignore the implications of that as you read through the menu, of this being a place his wife takes him for dates, only looking up when Chishiya taps a certain item.Â
âConsidering you currently have her tastebuds, thatâs her favourite item on the menu.â
âŠIt does sound good. You ignore Chishiyaâs smug smirk as you awkwardly place your order with the server.
Youâve only been gone for a few weeks. Why does normalcy feel so off?
The meal is delicious. Yet another sense that feels terrifyingly real for a supposed hallucination. If youâre wrong and this is an alternate reality, if you do make it home one day, youâll certainly return.Â
Chishiya seems to want to make sure you do make it. He tells you about his knowledge of the Borderlands, about the dealers, the second stage and the game theory. He also tells you about himself, insistent that you remember heâs a doctor, which can be invaluable in the world you were forced into. But he also tells you about some notable patients, his parents you instantly dislike and even the Mona Lisa.
When you ask him why, heâs nonchalant in knowing you donât think heâs real. âI can offer you valuable knowledge, but that means nothing if you return and think itâs just an effect of the drug. My personal information is something you can confirm that you couldnât have learned subconsciously anywhere else.â
Clever man. But you knew that already. âThatâs not the why I meant.â You point at him with your chopsticks. âYou seem overly vested in my survival. We both know you donât care for people, apparently except your wife. You donât help people. Iâm not your wife, even if Iâm similar.â
âI donât. Youâre not.â He agrees. âYet youâre quite similar to her.â His eyes soften into something fond again. âAnd sheâd be mad at me if I didnât help you.â
Thatâs enough of an answer to leave you satisfied.
You go straight back to his apartment after your meal is finished, your small taste of normal society having been more than enough.Â
âCan you teach me some first aid?â You ask him in an attempt to distract yourself from the people on the street around you.
You almost regret your request as Chishiya, expectedly, turns out to be a ruthless teacher. He rolls his eyes or makes dry comments when you donât know concepts he considers basic and calmly explains how you just killed yourself when you misremember something or make a mistake.
But you do learn some things. âYou only know a few basics.â Chishiya warns you. âAnd barely at that. You should prioritise getting to your Chishiya as soon as possible if you get hurt.â
âThat assumes heâd help.â You point out, not managing to keep the bitterness out of your voice.
This Chishiya keeps looking at you like youâre the only thing that matters. Youâre not even used to being looked at like you matter.Â
Itâs⊠nice. It makes you forget you hate him. It makes you jealous of this version of you, that has someone who cares for her like that, who hasnât had to go through the horrors of the Borderlands.
âHe would.â Chishiya states matter of factly. âYou said he keeps showing up around you. That means he has at least some interest in you. Heâll help you in return for a favour.â
Thatâs⊠Youâd never really thought much about why Chishiya keeps turning up around you. Why he keeps joining games with you. You just assumed messing with you brings him some amusement.
âIâm deeply in love with my wife. She is with me as well.â He tells you as the clock ticks closer to the four hour mark. You wonder what itâd be like, a life with Chishiya Shuntaro.
Oddly enough, you think, if he loves you, heâd be a stable presence. Reliable. Someone you could trust. âSheâs really happy.â Itâs said with a slight hint of disbelief, as if Chishiya isnât sure how he could be a source of that.
As you look at him, his blonde hair, the mole beneath his eye, his normally empty eyes filled with adoration, you can see how.
The world warps around you as the clean scent of the apartment makes place for a cloying incense. His eyes are the last thing lingering as you come back to your world.
Itâs with some unease you realise you believe it to have been a different world instead of an hallucination.
Real.
As real as the dirt under your cheek. You mustâve fallen after you drank the vial. You get up, your limbs stiff and cramped from the awkward position, brushing the dirt away from your skin and clothes.
Three minutes, you remind yourself, glancing at the vials resting tantalisingly on the table.
Itâd be a nice death. Much better than any of the others the Borderlands have to offer. You wouldnât even notice the laser, enjoying a better world in the companion of someone who can pretend he cares about you.
The Borderlands mean a rough road ahead, if Chishiya was right about the second stage. Youâd have to survive so much more.
But that would never be a choice youâd make. You want to live. Youâve already survived numerous games. Whatâs some more?
You walk out of the tent without looking at the other Beach member who came with you. You do wait for him in the car, but three minutes later, a laser appears above the tent. You donât hear a single sound as the man died.
You do understand him. It would just never be you.
You wonder if the Beach has assumed you dead while you drive back, as the game took longer than any game youâve played before.
When you step out of the car, you notice a figure wearing white on the roof of the Beach.
They're gone after you close the door behind you and look up again.
Chishiya? Would he truly wait to see if youâre alive?
That mightâve been your hallucination of today.
Mahiru, the executive tasked for the day to collect the returning membersâ collected cards, is indeed surprised to see you, as he was getting ready to leave for his room.Â
You donât spot Chishiya anywhere else.Â
You shouldnât feel disappointed. Youâre well aware your Chishiya is different from the one you just met. Your alternate version had the luxury of meeting him when their lives werenât on the line.
He tried to kill you. You remind yourself, the voice in the back of your head calling you a hypocrite louder than ever. You fail to remember how empty his eyes had looked when he tried to sacrifice your life.
You ignore the fact that he doesnât show up around you the next day. You ignore the tinge in your chest when he doesnât show up at your assigned car for your game, the Ace of Hearts only having earned you a single game.
Itâs for the best, really. You do waste energy making sure he wonât betray you. And one thing you can admit to yourself that right now, his presence would distract you.Â
The Two of Spades you play means you only have a single day of respite before you have to play again. Like yesterday, you spot the figure in white on the roof as you make it back, exhausted.
He does not search you out during that day either.
Why? Did he take you asking him to stop joining your games as a sign to stay away completely? That is what you wanted, isnât it?
Yet you canât get the other Chishiyaâs soft eyes filled with adoration out of your head.
So the morning of your game, you search him out instead, ploffing down next to him during breakfast.
His eyes are nothing like the other him as he glances at you, just for a moment before he looks back at his food and continues to eat without a word.
Except thatâs not entirely true. His eyes arenât a complete void. A few days ago, you wouldnât have recognised it, but having seen the other Chishiyaâs unguarded fondness, you see the miniscule flicker of the same emotion in his eyes.
âYouâve been avoiding me.â You complain as you start on your own food.
âThat implies Iâve given thought to you. I donât.â Your chest constricts at his harsh words, and you have to remind yourself that itâs a lie. He waited to see whether you came back from your games alive. That means something.Â
Just like that flicker in his eyes.
âRude, âShiya.â You enjoy the deep breath he, like always, releases at the nickname. âThere was no one doing commentary during the last game. It was boring.â
This time, his glance at you lasts longer, as if there is something heâs trying to read on your face.
He stays silent, eating the last of his meal before getting up.
Like is his habit, he leaves without a word.Â
For the first time, it leaves you feeling dejected, your hand clenching and unclenching around your chopsticks.
Had you hurt him when you told him you didnât want him with you during the games? You didnât know he could be hurt like that. Or had he simply decided you werenât worth it after how often you threw barbs at him?
You really, really, shouldnât have wished for a higher numbered game. Your hands are trembling as they attempt to bandage the large gash on your side, the pain making it almost impossible to concentrate. Other Chishiyaâs advice seems to work, but you know a bandage made from your jacket isnât a cure.
You need proper treatment. Stitches at the very least. What if something vital has been hit?
You donât know how to tell.
Itâs a miracle you make it back to the beach with no accidents, being forced to drive as the sole survivor.
You donât even check the roof for the figure as you stumble into the Beach, desperately hoping you wonât come across any militant.
The bodies hidden at the Beach donât only belong to traitors. Optics are considered important here, so you canât have anyone majorly visibly injured.Â
Thatâd lower morale.
You do not want to become one of those bodies. So you ignore the pain worsening with each step, forcing yourself to survive.
You get a few side glances as you make your way through the hallways, but no militants. You know why, the mirror of the car had already shown you paling. You don't want to check whether blood has seeped through your makeshift bandage.
You donât knock when youâre finally in front of Chishiyaâs door, closing it immediately behind you before basically falling against it in need of support, heavily breathing.
âI distinctly remember being berated on multiple occasions for not knocking. Yet here we are.â Does he sound annoyed? You canât tell.Â
ââShiya.â You breathe. âI- Help me.â
He comes to stand in front of you. You completely miss the well-hidden concern in his voice, but you donât miss his cold words. âAnd how do you expect me to do that? Iâm no-â
âCut the crap.â You snap at him. âI know youâre a doctor.â That actually manages to make him blink. You break the silence with a âPlease,â that stumbles from your lips.
âYouâll owe me a favour.â Chishiya says, too slow for your liking. âYouâll tell me how you know of my profession. And youâll tell me in detail about the Ace of Hearts.â
You barely listen to his words, just nodding.
He surprises you when his arm slides around you, supporting you as he wordlessly gets you to his couch. He puts his hair in a low ponytail, attractive in a way that causes your pain-hazed brain to latch onto it as a distraction.Â
Itâs only when he puts plastic gloves on that you realise an open medical kit lies ready on the coffee table.
Had he prepared that for you?
His face is one of pure concentration as he starts to work, cutting away the bandage clinically. You barely notice the sting, hidden by the overwhelming agony from your wound, of the painkiller he injects, something invaluable in a post-apocalyptic world.
Your breathing stabilises as the agonising pain starts to dull to a thrumming one.Â
You ignore his hands as he works, eyes firmly on his face, the distraction of your attraction to the man almost working.Â
It feels like hours pass before he finally pulls away. âYouâll live.â He tells you curtly. âAssuming you wonât act like a moron.â
Lacking the energy for words, you just smile gratefully at him. Do you imagine his eyes softening?
He forces you to drink some pills, and you donât remember much after that.
Itâs late in the day when he mercilessly wakes you up, ignoring your protests. Only to force more pills on you.
âWe should have some time to chat while we wait for them to work.â His voice is calm, soothing. Is that his doctor voice? âHow did you know my profession?â
You, still half asleep, grumble. âYou told me.â
âItâs impolite to lie.â His voice has a playful lilt to it now. âYou did agree to tell me.â
âYou did.â Your head starts to become more clearer, with the unfortunate result that your pain becomes more insistent. You should probably elaborate. âOther-you did.â
âOh? Other-me?â
You nod.
âIâm assuming this was during your Ace of Hearts.â
âDid you use your executive privilege to find out what the difficulty was?â
He lets out an amused breath, which is enough confirmation. âYouâve been acting differently since. Instead of avoiding me, you searched for me. And you did with those open eyes. Where has your hate gone? What happened during your game?â
âHayato. Needed a heart transplant, but the hospital prioritised nepotism. He died.â You whisper, before listing the details you were told of another case. And another. Chishiya doesnât outwardly react at all.Â
âThose have been some of my past patients, yes. Iâm assuming youâll tell me how you learned?â
âThat proves it wasnât a hallucination.â You breathe. âIt was actually real. How could I know otherwise?â
âContext.â He says your name, and once again you wouldnât have recognised that flicker of fondness if you hadnât seen it so open on his other selves face.
âThe game made me drink a potion.â You tell him. âI woke up in the body of myself from a different reality.â Chishiya stays silent, his eyes searching your face for what you assume to be any hint of a lie. âIn your arms. We were married.â
That gets a reaction. He actually, visibly, stiffens. Then he scoffs. âMe? Donât be ridiculous.â
You ignore his attitude, continuing to tell him about the Ace of Hearts.Â
âI see. So there is this other version of me that loves another version of you, and you assumed that means I love you too.â His words are mocking as he leans closer. âI donât.â
It doesnât hurt. Your words are, in a stark contrast, vulnerable as you for once donât lie to yourself. âOf course not. Thatâs way too early. But you could. I could love you. If we give it time.â
âYou were very clear that you donât want me with you.â
Oh. So, for once, he had taken something the wrong way.Â
ââShiya, I thought you were a sociopath.â You honestly tell the man. âYou keep whateverâs in your chest hidden so well I couldnât see it until I saw it on the face of a you that didnât hide for me.â
âI do barely experience emotions.â He looks away.
âI donât care. You do. That makes all the difference.â
He looks back at you. âYou know Iâm not a good person. You know I have the blood of people on my hands. You know Iâm manipulative, vain and selfish. I will never apologise for attempting to sacrifice you in our first game together.â
âI know.â You agree. âYet it was so difficult to keep on hating you. I just- I want you anyway. I want you to look at me with fondness in your eyes, or adoration. I want to be the only one you look at that way. I want to look at you that way.â
He sighs, but not out of exasperation. His hand comes up to check your pulse, his fingers lingering longer than necessary.
âYouâd want me.â His voice is low. âIn a world we have to compete in games for our survival, even though Iâve proven to you that Iâm untrustworthy.â
âYes.â You make sure there is no hesitation in neither your voice or body. âI do.â
âThen youâre a fool.â His eyes are fond as they rest on you. âBut fine. I suppose youâre mine, then. And Iâll be yours.â His hand retracts, only to put a loose strand of hair behind your ear. âWeâll see how this farce ends.â
âIâm not completely a fool.â You tell him. âI didnât mention it on purpose, but the other-you told me how to leave the Borderlands. Now itâll be strategic to keep me at your side.â
Chishiya actually laughs at that. Itâs short, barely longer than a chuckle, but still a laugh. âClever girl.â He does not ask you for the specifics. âI have no choice then.â
Exhaustion starts to take you as you murmur: "I don't know your given name."
"Shuntaro." He freely gives.
"Shuntaro." You repeat, tasting it like something precious before you drift back into sleep as the pills do their work.
When you wake up, youâre no longer on the couch, the softness of his mattress beneath you instead. As you look to the side, you notice that on the nightstand is a plate with your favourite food the Beach has to offer, a cup of water and some more pills.
In spite of your pain, you smile. Youâre sure that this will work out just fine.
Sweetest Lie Sukuna x Reader
Dark!Sukuna x Reader (2/5)
1940s WW2/Post War Au
Tropes~ Bully love interest, childhood enemies to lovers, coerced relationship.
Synopsis~As the first letters arrive, your dread grows. But surely he can't expect you to remain faithful to him if you weren't even going steady? Right? Meanwhile, Sukuna makes your name a battle cry.
Tw/Cw~ Violence, war, ww2, Sukuna, dark themes, forced relationship, sexisim, death, threats.
Series Masterlist
Taglist Open <3
Divider by @saradika-graphics
Jody ~ a man that sleeps with a serviceman's partner while he is away.
Clarification~ Sukuna is fighting for allies not Imperial Japan.
Dear, (the script was blotted there with what looked like a food stain.)
  Pops says you're volunteering at the red cross. The potty old man wrote saying that you were going house to house collecting scrap metal. Stop that. We donât need you. Enough of us are going over that we donât need some dame risking her life and honor. There are a bunch of creeps that will try to force you to do things. The war will be over soon.Â
Stay out of trouble. I donât want to have to come back in a year or two and bust some fellowâs face in.Â
 Yours, Sukuna ItadoriÂ
  You folded the letter and then unfolded it. Idiot. Stupid idiot. Why for heavenâs sake, did the fool think he had any right to write to you? And to beat all, telling you what to do in such a manner. Well, you werenât going to let Sukuna Itadori control your life from hundreds of miles away. You were sick of living in fear, having to plan your life around where or when youâd have to deal with him.Â
You tossed the letter in the trash bin. Standing, you straightened your collar. It was a shame that every fellow your age was signed up or already gone to training. It would be nice to have a date without having to worry about Sukuna. Ever since high school, anytime a fellow showed a lick of interest in you, Sukuna would have a little chat with him.Â