You told one tiny lie about being engaged to Sunghoon. Now you’re spending Christmas with his entire family—sharing intimate spaces, dated traditions, and an alarming amount of chemistry. Faking it should be a walk in the park, except Sunghoon is playing the perfect boyfriend a little too well, and it’s throwing you off your game.
Genre: fake dating, hallmark xmas, smut
Pairing: ENHYPEN Park Sunghoon x female reader
Warnings: NOT PROOFREAD, lying, fake dating, mature themes, explicit sexual content (18+), MDNI
Notes: 22k words. I GOT CARRIED AWAY. I was watching The Proposal with my husband when this plot came to me, sooo, guess I should say I took some inspo from that classic. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE! I hope y'all like this one <3
Disclaimer: I do not know them, nor claim they would ever in real life behave the way they were portrayed in this fic.
You were halfway through a phone call when the elevator doors opened, one hand clutching your handbag as you rattled off reminders about deadlines, inventory counts, and the very real need to restock supplies before the holiday rush.
“Yes, by next week,” you said, already walking. “No, I don’t care if it’s ‘usually fine,’ I want the warehouse well-stocked and ready—”
You stepped onto the floor and kept moving, heels clicking, bag swinging. You didn’t notice the way the floor fell quiet the moment you stepped in. People scrambled back to their desks, suddenly invested in their screens, shuffling papers that did not need shuffling, answering phones that were not ringing. A few heads ducked. A few shoulders squared. No one made eye contact with the icy, headstrong, amazonian boss who had clearly woken up on the wrong side of the bed.
You.
Still mid-call, you marched straight toward your office, listening to your warehouse officer explain that the warehouse was well-stocked and ready for the holiday rush and that everything would be fine. “I’m not asking for some words of affirmation, Joe. Show me that this confidence is not unfounded. I need updated numbers by lunchtime.”
It wasn’t until you pushed open the glass door that you finally ended the call, pinching the bridge of your nose for half a second before refocusing.
“Morning!” Becca said brightly, already there, already holding out your iced coffee like an offering.
You took it without slowing down. She fell into step beside you, launching into your schedule like she always did—meetings, contracts, things that needed signing before lunch, and ones that could wait until after. You dropped into your chair, skimmed the first page of the file she handed you.
You were halfway through skimming the file when you noticed something in your periphery. You looked up and saw that there was a man standing just behind Becca. Tall. Good-looking. Broad-shouldered. Hands in his pockets. He was staring around your office like he had time to admire the view, eyes flicking over the shelves, the windows, the framed awards.
For a second, you wondered if you’d forgotten you were supposed to have a meeting with some model for your brand’s campaign.
You frowned. “Who’s your friend, Becca?”
“Oh—right! Sorry. This is—” She paused, then quickly nudged the man with her elbow
“I’m Sunghoon,” he said, smiling at you before Becca could finish. He gave a lazy little wave. “The intern.”
You blinked. The intern. He said it like this was a college club meeting. Or orientation. Or literally anywhere but here, where interns usually tried desperately not to be noticed. You stared at him. Then back at Becca. “Why is the intern in my office?”
Becca cleared her throat. “He’s the temp I told you about. He’ll be covering for me while I’m on maternity leave. Assisting you directly.”
You glanced back at him, unimpressed. “Is he ready for that?” you asked Becca.
“Yes. I walked him through everything,” she said quickly. “He’s picked it up really fast.”
“So he knows this isn’t a light workload? Long hours, hectic schedules, all that?”
Before you could respond, Sunghoon leaned forward slightly. “You can ask me, you know,” he said. “I’m right here.”
The room went very still.
You stared at him, more surprised than offended. Most interns shrank under eye contact. Apologized. Overexplained. This one had the audacity to interrupt you, like he wasn’t face-to-face with the person everyone else avoided before coffee. For a second, you couldn’t tell if he was clueless or if he just didn’t scare easily.
You didn’t like either option. “I won’t be needing you yet,” you said flatly. “You can go.”
Sunghoon didn’t argue. He simply nodded once, hands dropping from his pockets as he turned toward the door. “Alright.”
And then he left. The door clicked shut behind him. You and Becca stared at it for a moment.
You exhaled through your nose and picked up your pen. “What kind of temp did you get me?”
“He’s very competent. Just a little tactless at times. And he was once…” She hesitated. “…reported to HR for insubordination.”
“Insubordination?”
“Yeah, he was. But it was all a misunderstanding.” She paused for a second and then added, “Apparently, the way he talks pissed some people off. Which was why I thought he’d be perfect for this role.”
You slowly looked up from your paperwork. “What’s that supposed to mean?
Becca grimaced, then covered her mouth. “Okay. That—yeah. That was supposed to be an inside thought.”
You scoffed, shaking your head as you went back to signing. “You’ve been working for me too long.”
She cleared her throat, tapping her tablet like she needed something to do with her hands. “Mr. Zhou just stepped into the lobby. Should we… um… go wait for him in the conference room?” she asked, already smiling.
“Fine,” you said, signing your name a little harder on the last paperwork. “But we’re unpacking that later.”
You were puzzled to see Sunghoon waiting by the car as soon as you stepped out of your office at noon. He looked out of place there, standing in a crisp set of suit and coat, looking like he was shooting an ad for Ralph Lauren. You were realizing in real time that he was unnecessarily too good-looking and too well-dressed to be someone’s errand boy.
He was holding Becca’s work tablet and the leather briefcase she’d usually brought to meetings.
“Where’s Becca?” you asked, not slowing down as you watched him open the car door for you.
“She’s gone,” he said, watching you settle onto the backseat. “Told me my secretary duties start today.”
“What do you mean she’s gone?”
Sunghoon blinked, confused. “Oh, you didn’t know? I thought she discussed this with you beforehand.”
You sighed, waved him off, and leaned back on the seat. As Sunghoon closed the door and rounded the car, you took your phone out and typed out a message to Becca.
You: I’m docking your pay.
Sunghoon took the driver’s seat without ceremony, adjusted the mirror, and pulled into traffic.
“Read the documents carefully,” you said without looking up. “And pay attention during the meeting.”
“I will,” he said. “To both.”
The car ride was quiet. You reviewed the agenda on your tablet while the city slid past the windows, aware of him in your periphery—too relaxed, but not sloppy.
Your phone rang not even ten minutes into the ride and you sighed when you saw the caller ID. But answered anyway. “Hi, Grandma.”
“I just wanna remind you that you have a date this evening,” she said immediately. “You’re going, aren’t you?”
“No,” you replied. “I’m working.”
“You said that last week.”
“I was working last week too. I’m busy, Grandma. Right now, I’m heading out for a lunch meeting with suppliers.”
She clicked her tongue. “You’re always working. You can’t keep postponing your life like this. Why do you always put that damn company first?”
You pressed your lips together. “Grandma, this was your company. You put me here.”
“Excuses. When will you have a husband?” she shot back. “Or children? I’m old and dying. Do you think time is gonna wait for me? I just want to see you settle down and be happy. Is that too much to ask?”
You looked out the window. “You’re healthy. You’re strong. You’re not going anywhere.”
You heard her exhale sharply on the other line, clearly annoyed now. “If you don’t come tonight, I’ll erase your name from my will. You won’t get a single penny from me.”
“You’ve been saying that for years,” you said evenly. “Need I remind you that you only have one living relative and it’s me?”
She huffed. “Don’t test me. I might just donate my whole fortune to charity. You must go this time. I swear this one is better than the previous dates. His name is Pa—”
“I love you,” you said, cutting her off. “I’ll call you later.”
You ended the call before she could respond.
For a moment, the only sound in the car was the hum of the engine and the soft click of the turn signal. You slipped your phone back into your bag and leaned farther into the seat, already compartmentalizing the conversation the way you always did.
You caught movement in the rearview mirror. Sunghoon was looking at you. “Persistent grandma?” he asked when your gazes met.
You sighed, unimpressed. “Eyes on the road.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, tone mild enough to be irritating.
You let the silence stretch after that, your attention returning to the tablet in your hands. You scrolled through the agenda, noting the points you wanted addressed, the concessions you were willing to make, and the ones you absolutely were not. Sunghoon drove without comment, smooth and calm, like he wasn’t ferrying someone who could fire him on a whim.
You glanced up again, studying his reflection this time with intention. The angle of his jaw. The familiarity you hadn’t been able to put a finger on ever since you saw his face.
“Have we met before?” you asked.
“Yes,” he replied immediately. “We went to the same university. And met once at a freshman party.”
That checked out. You’d seen enough of him around campus for his face to register, even now. You hummed, “Knew you looked familiar. You have an unforgettable face.”
That slipped out unintentionally, making you pause. You considered taking it back, but you ultimately just decided to roll with it. You cleared your throat. “I mean—well… Have you seen yourself?”
“Sorry, what?” he asked, glancing briefly at you. “I didn’t catch that.”
But the slight smirk on his lips told you that was a lie. You rolled your eyes, then watched him for another second. “If we went to uni at the same time,” you asked, “how are you still interning? At this age?”
He grinned. “Are you discriminating?"
“I’m just asking.”
“As my boss or as someone who knew me from college?”
You exhaled through your nose, realizing now that Becca wasn’t exaggerating when she said Sunghoon can be annoying for some. “Forget it,” you said.
He just smiled, focusing on driving. But a few moments later, he said, “I just got out of a slave contract with my previous employer.”
You looked up. “I assume that’s an exaggeration.”
“It could be,” he replied, shrugging.
You didn’t comment. Some jobs did feel like that. You knew it, even if you’d never experienced it firsthand. You’d never been employed under someone, except when you interned for your Grandma, but even that was hardly employment. You’d always been your own boss.
The car slowed as the restaurant came into view. Sunghoon found a parking space easily. “We’re here,” he said as soon as the engine stopped.
You straightened, already stepping out of the vehicle. “They’re gonna give us the revised version of the contract from last time. Remember to go over it very, very carefully.”
“Got it,” he replied, gathering his things and fixing his coat as he stepped out of the car.
You paused, looked at him once with furrowed brows, then said, “Lose the coat.”
He blinked. “What? Why?”
“Just lose it,” you said, waving your hand dismissively. “You’re gonna make these people think I brought a date to this meeting.”
The realization hit him a second later. “Oh.”
His ears turned red almost immediately, the color creeping up fast enough that it caught you off guard. He looked away, cleared his throat, and shrugged out of the coat with noticeably less confidence than he’d had five seconds ago.
“Right,” he said. “Okay.”
You didn’t respond. You were already walking.
He followed a step behind. You noticed the way he kept tugging at his sleeves, the way his shoulders squared like he was suddenly conscious about his posture. It didn’t slow him down, but it made him seem less casual and more shy.
You filed that thought in the far back of your mind and pushed open the restaurant door.
Sunghoon settled into his role faster than you’d anticipated. He learned your schedule within days, memorizing the gaps between meetings, the calls you always took walking, the ones you preferred, seated and uninterrupted. By the first week, he stopped asking what you needed and started having it ready before you spoke. Coffee appeared when you’d skipped breakfast. Documents were summarized and tabbed—never highlighted, because you hated highlights.
He remembered dates without reminders. Flagged clauses you would’ve circled anyway. Anticipated questions before clients finished asking them. He spoke only when necessary in meetings, and when he did, it was concise enough that no one dared interrupt him.
“Your two o’clock wanted to move to three,” he said one morning, falling into step beside you as you walked down the hall. “Mr. Lee begged. Said something about traffic and divine intervention.”
“What did you tell him?”
“That divine intervention doesn’t outrank your calendar.”
You didn’t break stride. “Good.”
By the end of the second week, you—and everyone around you—had realized that you now have a second Becca, a more merciless one at that. People stopped going to you first. They went to Sunghoon. He filtered what mattered and killed what didn’t. When he brought you something, it was because it deserved your time. He filtered your calls ruthlessly. If something reached you, it mattered. If it didn’t, it never existed. People learned quickly that arguing with him was pointless; if Sunghoon said you were unavailable, then you were.
Occasionally, he tested his boundaries. Not in ways that interfered with work, but in tone.
“Do you always look like this when you’re thinking?” he asked once, watching you review a document.
You didn’t look up. “Like what.”
“Like you’re about to ruin someone’s life.”
You slid the folder toward him. “Page twelve.”
He glanced down, eyes scanning. “Ah,” he said. “There it is. I knew something was odd with this.”
In meetings, he was quiet, efficient, present without being intrusive. He passed notes when necessary, caught errors before they reached the table, and never spoke unless spoken to or unless you were about to walk into something avoidable.
“Clause eighteen,” he murmured once, sliding you a note.
You corrected the issue mid-sentence and moved on. Afterward, in the elevator, you said, “Good catch.”
His brows lifted in surprise. “Was that praise?”
“Don’t get used to it.”
“I won’t,” he said, grinning. “But I will cherish it.”
By the third week, he stopped flinching when you corrected him. By the fourth, he started correcting other people before you had to. He learned quickly what earned silence versus what earned a look. Silence meant he was safe. The look meant he had exactly one more word before his internship became a cautionary tale.
He respected that. Mostly.
“So,” he said once, handing you a folder, “do you want the bad news first or the worse news?”
You took the folder. “If you ever phrase it like that again, you’re fired.”
“Noted,” he said calmly. “Then I’ll just say this contract is trash.”
You looked up slowly. He met your gaze without flinching. “Respectfully.”
You skimmed the page. Then the next. Then the clause he’d marked with a single tab. It was, in fact, trash.
You closed the folder. “Schedule a call.”
“I already did.”
He had an irritating habit of leaning where he wasn’t supposed to. Doorframes. Desks. The back of chairs that did not belong to him. He never slouched in meetings, never interrupted, but outside of them, he carried himself like he wasn’t intimidated by anyone in the building.
Including you. Especially you.
“Do you actually read all of these,” he asked once, eyeing the stack of reports on your desk.
“Yes.”
“All of them?”
“Yes.”
He paused. “I guess you’re not like those other nepo babies who—um… nevermind.”
You lifted your pen. “Finish that sentence, Secretary Park.”
“Nope,” he said, chuckling nervously and retreating a step. “I’m quite attached to my paycheck, you see.”
You rolled your eyes, but Sunghoon kept his grin. “When will you call me by my first name?”
Your brows furrowed. “Why would I do that?”
“Well, there’s Becca. You address her not only by her first name but by her nickname.”
You tutted, shaking your head and deciding to ignore his question entirely. “Go. I don’t need you right now,” you said, waving him away.
“Yes, ma’am,” he chimed, walking away. You returned to your screen. You didn’t fire him.
By the end of the month, Sunghoon no longer felt like a temporary replacement to your intuitive and reliable Becca. He felt like his own fixture. An irritating, unnecessarily good-looking, deeply unserious, but very competent fixture.
“Is that Prada?” you asked, just as Sunghoon turned the engine off.
He glanced back at you, then at his coat. “I think so? I got this as a gift for my birthday.”
You chuckled, reaching for the door. “Your clothes are too expensive for an intern.”
You stepped out of the car, eyes blinking at the blinding building right in front of you. Sunghoon fell into step beside you not 30 seconds later, and you noticed that he’d taken off his coat.
“You should keep it on,” you said.
He tilted his head. “But wouldn’t it make them think you brought a date to the meeting?”
You shrugged. “Maybe, but these people are worth impressing. I’m heading inside first. You go get your coat and make yourself look good.”
You were inside the building for less than two minutes when you ran into someone that made your eyes twitch. He called your name from across the lobby, his voice ringing out annoyingly.
“Is that you?” he asked when he approached you. “Well, damn. It is you.”
“Carlo,” you acknowledged, offering a curt smile.
“Oh, so you remember me,” he grinned, his eyes roving from your head to your foot, then back up to your face again, not without pausing briefly on your chest. “It’s been a while, huh?”
You nodded once, polite and brief, already angling your body toward the other direction. “It has. If you’ll excuse me, I’m on my way to a meeting.”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re always busy,” he said, waving it off. “But who isn’t?” he added, laughing out loud.
He then launched into a recap of his life since the last time you’d seen him—his job, his connections, the people he knew, the Dubai prince he was chummy with, the places he’d been. It was all very impressive, apparently. You tried to interject twice. Both attempts failed. He spoke over you like it was muscle memory.
You remembered, dimly, the disastrous blind date your Grandmother had set you up on last year. Apparently Carlo was a friend’s son who was intelligent and sweet. You gave it a chance because you’d run out of excuses to decline. But Carlo was downright obnoxious. He was preposterous, talked only about himself, and after the date, he told every mutual acquaintance you both had that you were the reason why it never worked out after the first date—as if he didn’t blow up your phone asking for another chance after you refused to go on another date with him. He’d framed your refusal like a misunderstanding, and acted like persistence was a charm.
“So anyway,” he said, finally pausing just long enough to inhale, “I was thinking maybe we could grab dinner sometime. Catch up properly.”
You spotted Sunghoon a few steps away. “There you are, my love,” you called out with an exaggerated sigh of relief.
Sunghoon looked up at the sound of your voice, just as you crossed the distance and slipped your arm around his without asking, fingers curling into the fabric of his sleeve. For a moment, you thought he might ask what was happening. But he looked at you and at the puzzled Carlo just nearby and seemed to understand the situation right away.
“Sorry,” you said, turning back to Carlo with an apologetic smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “What were you saying?”
Carlo took a step back, posture stiffening, his grin faltering as his eyes moved from Sunghoon’s face to his tailored clothes, then back to you. Whatever confidence he’d walked into the lobby with seemed to deflate all at once.
“Oh, by the way,” you began, turning to Sunghoon. “Have you met Carlo? He’s in the export business. And the son of Grandmama’s friend.”
Sunghoon didn’t miss a beat. He offered his hand. “Sunghoon,” he said pleasantly.
Carlo stared, shaking his hand. You smiled and said, “My fiancee.”
“Oh,” Carlo said. “Fiancée.”
“Yes,” you replied simply. You could already imagine how this little lie would spread among your mutual acquaintances and business spaces you shared with Carlo, given how loose-lipped he was. But all you could care about right now was getting him to leave you alone.
“Well—uh,” Carlo said, shaking Sunghoon’s hand a little too quickly. “Nice to meet you. You two look… great.” He stepped back, already glancing at his phone. “I should get going. Busy day. You know how it is.”
You watched him retreat without comment, hurrying through the lobby until he disappeared entirely. Only then did you exhale.
You loosened your grip on Sunghoon’s arm, turning toward him. “Thank you,” you began.
“Your fiancée?” said someone from behind you.
You immediately froze, recognizing the timbre, the authority, and the unmistakable tone of your Grandmother’s voice.
You turned slowly and found her standing a few feet away, handbag tucked neatly under her arm, eyes sharp and clearly amused.
“Did I hear that right,” she said, her smile widening as her gaze flicked between you and Sunghoon, “or am I finally losing my hearing?”
Sunghoon, to his credit, didn’t move. Neither did you. And somewhere between the impulsive little lie and her grin, you realized that things were about to blow out of proportion.
“OMG, Grammy. You heard that? I’m sorry. This is my assistant. I only said he was my fiancée to get that obnoxious Carlo off my back.”
You could have said that and gotten it over with. But you couldn’t. The delight on your grandmother’s face was too precious for you to shatter with the truth. So here you were, sitting across from her for an impromptu family dinner, Sunghoon holding your hand beside you.
You were usually the most intimidating person in any room you walked into. Boardrooms, negotiations, crowded halls full of people waiting for you to speak—none of it ever rattled you. But at that dinner table, you were painfully aware of your posture, your hands, the way your expression changed with every interaction.
Your grandmother had that effect on you. She was the only person who could ever make you nervous, especially when it involved major life decisions like this.
It didn’t help that she was beaming like she’d just won the lottery. Sunghoon, as it turned out, was the grandson of an old friend of hers.
“Why didn’t you tell me you knew my Grandma?” you had discreetly asked him earlier during the meeting with an investor, while your Grandmother watched from a few tables away.
She had insisted she’d wait until you finished the business meeting, and that was how you found yourselves trapped in this ‘family’ dinner.
“So,” she said, eyes bright as she looked between you and Sunghoon, “how did the two of you meet?”
You stiffened slightly, already bracing yourself. Sunghoon answered easily. “Oh, we met in college,” he said, reaching for his water. “We reconnected only recently when I started working for her.”
Your grandmother’s eyebrows rose. “Oh? And when did you start dating?”
You kept your gaze on your plate, listening. “About a month ago,” Sunghoon replied smoothly.
A month ago. You did the math immediately, your mind racing ahead of your body. That was the exact week he’d started working as your temporary assistant.
“And engaged already?” your grandmother said, delighted rather than suspicious.
Sunghoon nodded. “We didn’t see the point in waiting.”
She laughed, clapping her hands softly. “Oh, I love that. Life is too short to hesitate.” She turned to you then, eyes sharp and delighted. “So you mean to tell me you got engaged without telling me you were dating my best friend’s grandson?”
You opened your mouth, only to just close it again. Sunghoon cleared his throat. “It all happened rather quickly.”
“That’s what I love about it,” she said, waving a hand. “Destiny waits for no one,” she added, laughing.
You laughed too—awkwardly enough that you were sure you’d given it all away. You stared at the food on the table, suddenly finding your favorite dish from the best chef in the city unappetizing and dry.
“Does your family know?” she asked Sunghoom again.
Sunghoon hesitated, glancing at you for an answer. You had absolutely nothing to offer him. Not even a lie half-formed. So you lifted one shoulder, the smallest shrug you could manage.
He turned back to her and smiled. “Not yet. We wanted to keep it quiet for a while,” he said, shrugging lightly. “It hasn’t been very long. But I guess the secret’s out now that you know.”
Your grandmother looked like she might burst from excitement. “Oh, this is wonderful,” she said, already reaching for her phone. “They’ll be thrilled.”
You sat up straighter. “Grandma—”
“Wait,” Sunghoon said at the same time.
She waved both of you off, already dialing. “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll just tell them quickly.”
You watched in horror as she put the phone to her ear. “Hello?” she said brightly. “Yes, yes, it’s me. You’ll never guess what I just found out.”
You sank back into your chair, heart thudding.
She spoke excitedly, voice warm and loud enough that you caught pieces of the conversation—laughter, delighted exclaims, repeated congratulations. You could hear someone else speaking on the other end, just as excited.
You didn’t catch the names, but you didn’t need to. Whoever was on the other end was laughing too. Your grandmother kept nodding along, with soft mm-hmms and delighted sighs.
“I know. I couldn’t believe it either.” She glanced at the two of you, eyes shining. “They’re here with me right now.”
Sunghoon didn’t move. His hand was still resting near yours on the table, close enough but not quite touching. He looked composed, if a little too still, like he’d decided that reacting would only make things worse.
Your grandmother laughed again. “Oh, don’t be dramatic. Of course it makes sense. Haven’t you always said fate has terrible timing?”
She listened for a moment, then hummed approvingly. “Yes. I’ll tell them.”
She ended the call with a satisfied tap of her finger against the screen and set her phone down carefully, as if savoring the moment. “There,” she said, pleased. “They are over the moon.”
You exhaled slowly through your nose. “Grandma—”
“You never even told them that you were seeing someone, Sunghoon,” she added. “They’re insisting on dinner soon. All of us.”
“That might be difficult,” he said carefully. “With work and—”
“Oh, nonsense,” she interrupted. “You’ll make time. You always do for family.”
She smiled at you then, softer and fonder. “And you,” she said, “I’m gonna excuse the fact that you kept this a secret from me.”
You pressed your lips together, offering something that might have passed for a smile.
Across the table, your grandmother reached for her glass, perfectly satisfied. Beside you, Sunghoon shifted just enough that his knee brushed yours under the table. Neither of you commented on it. But you both understood the same thing at the exact same time.
This had officially gone too far to undo politely.
By the time you finally parted with your grandmother outside the restaurant, you were exhausted. Not the kind of tired you felt after negotiations or long meetings, but the slow, creeping kind that sank into your bones and stayed there.
You slid into the backseat as soon as Sunghoon opened the door for you, barely waiting for it to close before sinking back against the leather. The city lights blurred past the windows as the car pulled away from the curb.
“That,” you said, staring at the ceiling, “went so wrong so fast.”
Sunghoon huffed a small laugh from the driver’s seat. “That’s one way to put it.”
You dragged a hand down your face. “I just wanted Carlo to leave me alone. I didn’t plan on my grandmother calling half the city to announce my engagement.”
“She seemed… enthusiastic.”
“Oh, trust me. That was her being restrained,” you muttered. You straightened slightly, folding your arms. “You’ve been with me long enough to know how she takes my love life very, very seriously.”
The car stopped at a red light. Sunghoon glanced at you through the rearview mirror. “You could let her have it for a few days,” he said casually. “Then tell her it didn’t work out. People break up all the time. We haven’t been dating long anyway. It’ll be believable.”
You sighed, nodding. “That’s the plan.”
The light turned green, and he eased back into traffic. You watched the city slide past again, your reflection faint in the glass.
“I’m sorry,” you said after a moment. “For dragging you into this. For the phone call with your folks. For—” You waved a hand vaguely. “All of it.”
Sunghoon shrugged, eyes on the road. “It’s fine.”
You looked at him. “You don’t have to say that.”
“No really,” he replied. “I don’t mind. I’ll just consider it part of the job.”
You rolled your eyes. “I’d hate the job if I were you.”
He tilted his head, considering. “Well,” he said, “it’s not the strangest thing I’ve been dragged into for work.”
You snorted despite yourself. The car slowed in front of your apartment building. Sunghoon parked and turned the engine off. You stepped out of the car, the night air cool against your skin. Behind you, Sunghoon followed, just another assistant at your side.
That was all it was supposed to be.
“See you in the morning, boss,” he said, handing you your bag as you both stopped in front of the elevator.
You nodded. “See you in the morning, Secretary Park.”
He nodded back, then stepped closer—so suddenly that you barely had time to register it before he was right there, warmth and presence crowding your space.
You froze, surprised by the proximity. For a split-second your mind was racing to process so many things at once—the closeness, the clean scent of his cologne, his steady breathing, and the way you’d been holding yours without realizing it.
Then his arm lifted past your shoulder. The elevator button clicked softly behind you.
“Oh,” you breathed, the sound escaping before you could stop it.
Sunghoon pulled back, his expression unreadable for a second, before his mouth curved into a smile—one that made you pause. You’d seen that smile every day for the last few weeks, but this was the first time you’d found yourself completely disarmed by it.
The elevator dinged. The doors slid open, and air rushed back into your lungs like you’d been underwater. You looked away first, stepping inside without a word.
Sunghoon remained outside, one hand lifting in a wave. “Good night,” he said.
The doors closed between you, sealing him out, and the last thing you saw was that damn smile.
The very next morning, you woke up to the sound of your phone ringing on the nightstand. You squinted at the screen. Grandma.
“Oh my god, what now?” you grumbled, sitting up before answering. “Good morning,” you croaked, rubbing your eyes.
“Pack your bags,” she said immediately, skipping any niceties. “We’re going away for the holidays.”
“It’s still two weeks before Christmas, Grandmama.”
“Oh, honey,” she gushed. “We’ll be spending the holidays with Sunghoon’s family.”
You straightened up, swiping at the alarm that had somehow joined the chaos. “Excuse me?”
“Yes. For a week. Isn’t that wonderful?”
“A WEEK?!” you echoed loudly, standing up on your bed now, clutching a fistful of your hair. “Grandma, what do you mean a week? What… Where—WITH WHOM?”
“Okay, young lady. Calm down. I can’t understand you when you’re rambling like this.”
“Grandma, I can’t—I have work. There’s the holiday promos, the rush, meetings and deals. I literally can’t even disappear for a day, let alone a whole week.”
“You have competent employees for that. I’m sure they can handle it,” she said casually. “Besides, I checked your calendar and you don’t have anything major that requires your immediate attention. Surely you can pause your micromanaging for a few days?”
“Excuse me?” you scoffed, offended. “I don’t micromanage—ugh. Not the point,” you muttered, more to yourself.
You took a deep breath and sat back on the bed. “Listen, Grandma. I haven’t met his family yet. I haven’t even been introduced as his girlfriend yet. I can’t just show up as his fiancee out of nowhere.”
“Yes, yes, I know,” she said, waving the thought away like dust. “But this is exactly the right moment. It’s the holidays.”
You paused, genuinely bewildered. “How did this even happen?”
“Oh, my dear, this wasn’t my idea,” she replied, her voice lighting up. “Sunghoon’s grandmother insisted.”
You let out a long, shaky breath. “Grandma—”
“Pack your bags,” she said cheerfully. “Don’t argue with me. I’ve already told them you’re coming and I already took care of everything.”
Now here you were, sitting in your office, heels tapping impatiently on the marble floor, fingers drumming against the wood of your desk. Every five seconds, you checked the clock, willing Sunghoon to appear.
Finally, the office door slid open, and there he was, smiling so calmly like things hadn’t blown out of proportion already. “Oh, there you are, Secretary Park! I need you to act as my fiancée. Again.”
His brows furrowed, confused. “Okay, relax. Why?”
“Surely your family’s told you by now that I am to spend the holidays with you?” you snapped, exasperation leaking into your tone.
He shrugged. “I’ve been told. But… you don’t have to. I can get you out of it if you really hate the idea.”
You leaned back in your chair, crossing your arms. “I don’t like the idea. But you know as well as I do that dissuading my grandmother is impossible.”
He chuckled lightly. “You’ve never let anyone tell you what to do.”
You snorted, leaning forward. “I’ll have you know that my grandmother can—and will—tell me what to do. Ghosting blind dates is a walk in the park, but things like this? Yeah. No way.”
Sunghoon hummed in acknowledgment. “She does seem like the formidable type.”
There was a moment of silence between you, one so comical you could hear the crickets in your head. “So?” you prompted. “Will you do it, or not?”
Sunghoon just shrugged, eyes still playful. “Do I get a raise?”
You rolled your eyes, exasperated, but also relieved. “I’ll even make you a regular while I’m at it, Intern Park.”
Being the meticulous person you were, you drafted a contract days before the trip. Not a legal one, of course, but a set of rules you and Sunghoon both agreed to follow while pretending to be engaged. You and Sunghoon made it together and agreed to both of your conditions, especially involving physical intimacy.
You made a point to make sure holding hands and displays of affection were strictly in front of the family only. And of course no hugging unless absolutely necessary. There were clauses about sticking to an agreed context and backstory, and never answering major or intrusive questions without the other.
“How do you feel about sharing a bedroom?” he asked.
“Do we have to? Can’t I get my own guest room?”
Sunghoon shook his head. “You clearly don’t know my family at all. An engaged couple staying in separate bedrooms? They’re gonna be suspicious.”
That made sense. “Alright. But I’m taking the bed. You can have the couch. Or the floor. Whatever works.”
“Come on,” he said, mock-protesting. “It’s my house. I should get the bed.”
“And I’m your boss,” you countered. “Rule number five will be, I always win.”
“Now you’re just power tripping.”
You waved a hand dismissively. “Fifth clause. Very important.”
Sunghoon raised an eyebrow at said clause about ‘no kissing or hugging’. “Exceptions?” he asked casually. “Christmas games, dances, mistletoe… maybe a moment of festive goodwill?”
“Absolutely not,” you said firmly. “Exceptions are only if the world is literally ending. Or someone dies. Or—” You stopped yourself, realizing you were overexplaining. “Just don’t ask for exceptions.”
Sunghoon nodded, taking that in stride. “But the situation could call for a hug, you know?”
You rolled your eyes. “Let’s just not.”
“Fine. But I’m telling you, my family will notice.”
“Just what kind of family do you have?”
Apparently, the kind who were affectionate and close, and took Christmas very seriously.
Days later, you boarded a plane with your grandmother practically vibrating with excitement beside you. She chatted the entire time—about the food, about the weather, about how nice it was that you were finally dating and thinking of marriage—while you nodded along, occasionally exchanging looks with Sunghoon over the divider between your seats. Thankfully, first class gave you just enough privacy that you didn’t have to perform more than absolutely necessary.
When you landed, the cold winter air hit you first, stinging your cheek. You’d barely stepped outside the terminal when a pickup truck rolled to a stop in front of you, horn honking cheerfully.
A jolly older man hopped out, grinning wide. “You must be exhausted,” he said warmly, eyes immediately landing on your grandmother. “It’s been too long.”
Her face lit up in a way you didn’t see very often these days. “Look at you,” she said, holding his arm affectionately. “All grown up.”
They hugged like no time had passed at all. Behind you, Sunghoon carefully placed a coat over your shoulder, its warmth engulfing you almost immediately. Then he leaned in slightly, one hand still on your shoulder. “That’s my uncle.”
Sunghoon introduced you and you offered a hand for a shake. “Lovely to meet you.”
The entire drive into town was filled with laughter and reminiscing, stories bouncing back and forth like they’d only seen each other yesterday instead of decades ago. Apparently, his uncle had spent a good portion of his childhood around your grandmother, running around while the adults talked business and dreams and things far too big for children to understand.
You watched your grandmother from the backseat, her smile so soft and sweet, and felt something warm settle in your chest.
“Just how long have you known this family?” you asked her, half-teasing.
Sunghoon’s uncle laughed before she could answer. “Oh, longer than me,” he said easily. “Her and my Ma go way back. Back when I wasn’t even born yet.”
She nodded fondly. “We were already friends when we both had nothing,” she said. “We used to talk about what we’d do one day, when life finally got easier. Now, we have money. But we’re both too busy to see each other.”
You hummed, thoughtful, eyes drifting out the window. A moment later, curiosity got the better of you. You turned slightly toward Sunghoon. “I don’t think you’ve told me what your family does?” you asked.
He shrugged. “Merchandising.”
That was vague. You narrowed your eyes at him, but before you could press further, his uncle laughed and pointed ahead, where a tall building rose proudly in the middle of the city square. It stretched for blocks, glass gleaming even under the sky.
“That,” he said, clearly pleased, “is what my dear mother—Sunghoon’s grandma—built from the ground up.”
Your breath caught. It was a shopping mall. Not just any mall, either. You recognized the name immediately. You’d seen more than a few of them back home, even had business with them!
Slowly, you turned to look at Sunghoon, scanning him from head to toe like you were seeing him for the first time.
He noticed. “What?”
“Merchandising?” you said flatly.
He shrugged again, entirely unapologetic. You leaned back in your seat, stunned, eyes flicking back to the building as it disappeared behind you.
Great. Of course you’d accidentally gotten fake-engaged into another powerful family.
When the truck finally came to a stop, you stepped down onto solid ground and immediately turned to Sunghoon, catching him by the sleeve before he could move too far ahead.
“Wait,” you said under your breath. “Why didn’t you tell me you were rich?”
He blinked, genuinely taken aback. “What?”
“That mall,” you said flatly. “The one your family runs. You don’t just forget to mention that, not when you know we’re retail partners with them.”
Sunghoon huffed a laugh. “You never asked. And besides, I’m not rich. My family is.”
You stared at him. “That’s not an answer.”
“It is,” he said mildly. “Just not one you like.”
You scoffed, lowering your voice even further. “Then why are you working as an intern? In my company. For—” you gestured vaguely between the two of you, “minimum pay and maximum suffering?”
His mouth opened, like he was about to say something but his uncle’s voice came booming from a few steps away. “Sunghoon!”
He looked over his shoulder. “Coming,” he replied easily, then glanced back at you. “Come on.”
You followed them down the pier, heels clicking against weathered wood as the sea air wrapped around you. Only when you reached the edge did you finally understand why everyone had stopped.
A sailboat waited at the dock, white and pristine, bobbing gently against the water. You slowed to a stop.
“Why are we getting on a boat?”
Sunghoon glanced at the sailboat, then back at you, a smirk tugging at his mouth. “My family thinks we’re better than everyone else,” he said, “so they bought a whole island and decided to live far away from the commoners.”
You stopped walking altogether. “I’m sorry—what?”
His uncle let out a bark of laughter, clapping a hand on Sunghoon’s shoulder. “That’s not true at all,” he said. “We didn’t move there. It’s just for family gatherings. Holidays. Reunions. That sort of thing.”
“And no, we don’t own the whole island,” his uncle added, looking out into the horizon, one hand on his hip. “Only half of it.”
Like that made it less unreasonable.
You’d spent years thinking your grandmother was extravagant—buying properties she rarely stayed in, collecting things simply because she could. But apparently, somewhere a thousand miles away, another woman had been doing the exact same thing.
No wonder they’re friends.
Sunghoon hovered beside you now, close enough that you could feel the warmth of his presence without looking at him. “You okay?” he asked quietly.
You opened your eyes. “I’m fine.”
He smiled at that, then held a hand out toward you. You hesitated for half a second, narrowing your eyes at him, then just as quickly, remembered the whole happily in love act had officially begun. So you took his hand and let him help you aboard the boat.
You had a feeling this week is going to be a lot harder than you’d anticipated.
The ride out to the island was mercifully short. The boat cut smoothly across the water, cold wind biting at your cheeks until your eyes watered. You pulled your coat tighter around yourself, breath fogging faintly in front of you.
Someone was already waiting there. A girl stood at the edge of the dock, bundled in a thick coat and scarf, waving with both arms like she didn’t feel the cold at all.
“That’s my sister,” Sunghoon said beside you. “Yeji.”
The moment your feet hit the dock, Yeji made a beeline for him, throwing her arms around his neck without hesitation. “You’re alive,” she said dramatically. “I was starting to think you’d fallen off the face of the earth.”
Sunghoon laughed, hugging her back. “You facetimed me three days ago.”
“Three days is a long time,” she shot back, then said something else under her breath that made him groan and flick her forehead lightly. You didn’t catch the words, but the sight of their teasing and laughter made your chest feel oddly warm.
Then Sunghoon turned slightly and gestured toward you. “This is—” He paused for half a second, then continued smoothly. “My girlfriend.”
Yeji’s eyes snapped to you, sharp and curious, then widened with unmistakable delight. “Girlfriend,” she said slowly, grinning mischievously. “That’s not what I heard,” she added in a sing-song.
Sunghoon sighed. “Please be normal. Don’t embarrass me.”
“Welcome,” Yeji said cheerfully, offering a hug which you returned awkwardly. Then she pulled back just enough to study your face. “Wow. You’re very pretty. Why would you wanna marry that guy?”
“Alright,” Sunghoon interjected, tugging Yeji from behind by her jacket collar. “That’s enough. Go away.”
“What? I think she’s too good for you.” She turned to you. “You sure you don’t wanna change your mind?”
“Stop,” he chided softly, chuckling, “Don’t discourage her. She might just change her mind. Nothing’s decided yet.”
“Oh, what nonsense.”
The voice came from behind Yeji—calm, amused, unmistakably unimpressed. A woman stepped forward, elegant in every sense of the word, eyes narrowing playfully as she looked Sunghoon over.
“You left a perfectly good position in the family business saying you wanted to fend for yourself,” she continued, “and now you come home with a fiancée?” Her lips curved into a smile. “You didn’t even wait a year before crawling back.”
You were taken aback, instinctively scooting closer to Sunghoon after what you heard. In your mind, you were wondering who this was and why she seemed to dislike him.
But beside you, Sunghoon merely sighed, shook his head in exasperation, and told you, “This is my mom.”
You blinked, momentarily caught off-guard. Then it immediately clicked that this might be how they normally talked to each other, and all in good fun, you assumed.
His mother didn’t give you much time to dwell on it. Her attention shifted to you immediately, her expression softening as she stepped closer and pulled you into a hug before you could react.
“Oh,” you exclaimed. Behind her, you mouthed to Sunghoon, ’Is this normal?’
He just shrugged, a smile playing on his lips. “Welcome,” she said warmly. “We’re so happy you’re here.”
You laughed softly, a little breathless, returning the hug despite the nerves curling in your stomach. And then everything moved at once.
You were ushered forward, names thrown at you faster than you could catch them—aunts, cousins, someone’s partner, someone else’s child—smiles and greetings blurring together as you were guided further into the property. The words ‘Sunghoon’s fiancee’ kept echoing in your ears, and you felt a little lightheaded as you realized that lie felt bigger by the second, ballooning with every new face and every fond look directed your way.
Warm air hit you the moment you stepped inside the house, carrying the smell of food and something sweet. It was massive, but you barely had time to take it in before you heard someone call out your grandmother’s nickname.
“Oh my goodness,” a voice exclaimed, followed by hurried footsteps.
An elderly woman appeared with her arms already open, and your grandmother’s face lit up like a sunrise. They met in the middle of the room, hugging tightly, laughing, talking over each other all at once.
You watched them fondly, feeling warm all over and knowing it wasn’t because of the central heating. Then the noise swelled again around you, and you were being pulled into a hug by Sunghoon’s grandmother who had affectionately asked you to call her ‘Nana’.
Eventually—somehow—you and Sunghoon finally escaped everybody’s attention and you found yourself trailing behind him aas he led you down a quieter hallway. You passed through wide corridors, went up several flights of staircases, before he finally stopped in front of a wooden door that looked like every other one in the hall.
“Come on in,” he said, pushing the door open and letting you step inside first.
The room was spacious, sunlight spilling through tall windowsr. A queen-sized bed sat at the center, dressed in crisp white linens under fluffy navy blue duvets. A thick rug covered the hardwood floor, and a small writing desk sat neatly in the corner. A fireplace along one wall had a few framed family photos on its mantle. There was also a couch just in front of the fireplace, and you noticed a subtle scent of pine and cinnamon lingering faintly in the room.
“How big is your family?” you asked, your gaze drifting around, taking in the comfort and scale of the space.
“Not very,” he said, hauling the last of your luggage over to the corner and setting it down with ease. “Nana has five kids, all married with kids. And most of my older cousins are married too, so I’ve got eight nieces and nephews.”
“Wow. Are there like, thirty of you?”
“Almost thirty,” he said, shrugging, a small smile tugging at his lips. “If everyone comes home for the holidays this year, you’re looking at twenty-eight Parks under one roof.”
“That’s a lot of people,” you murmured, scanning the room.
“What about you?” he asked.
“Well, my dad was an only child who had only one kid,” you replied, leaning slightly against the desk. “So, no aunts and uncles for me. No horde of cousins either.”
Sunghoon glanced at you from the doorway, tilting his head slightly. “Right, why didn’t your parents come here with you? I assume they’re thrilled that their only child is engaged.”
You froze, realizing in that moment that you’d never actually told him your parents had passed. Before you could answer, a sharp knock came at the door, swinging open just as quickly without really waiting for anyone to respond.
“Hello! I hope I’m not disturbing anything,” a warm, lively voice called out. Sunghoon’s mother stepped inside, carrying a tray laden with small snacks and a thermos of tea.
“No. We were just settling in,” you answered, trying to sound normal.
“I figured you’d be hungry after that long journey,” she said brightly, setting the tray down. She turned her gaze on you, eyes sparkling with curiosity. “How are you feeling? You’ve traveled so far! Are you comfortable? Did you eat enough on the plane? Oh, do you like sweets?”
You opened your mouth, then closed it again, blinking at the rapid-fire questions, completely overwhelmed.
“Oh, and I’m so sorry about the chaos,” she said, smiling as she poured tea into the teacup. “Our family tends to overreact. Especially with Sunghoon being the only man in the family who hasn’t married yet. Everyone’s just excited to meet you.”
You felt a genuine warmth spread through your chest. “Thank you,” you said softly, taking a small step closer to accept the cup she was offering.
“And how is my son? Is he good to you? Does he treat you well?”
“Oh, he’s… wonderful. He takes care of everything for me,” you replied, and in a way, what you said was true.
“As he should,” she chimed, looking proud. “He must have been really good to you for you to decide to get married shortly after dating. OH!” She exclaimed, practically jumping in her seat. “You haven’t shown us your engagement ring yet!”
You froze, eyes flitting to Sunghoon across the room. He too looked surprised. You were both realizing in real-time that you had forgotten one, if not the most important thing about this whole engagement thing.
The damn ring!
“Is this it?” his mother asked, reaching for your hand where your default favorite ring to wear wrapped daintily on your finger.
You glanced sideways at Sunghoon, your expression screaming Help me.
“Alright, Mom, we’re tired. We need some rest. Please give us some space,” said Sunghoon, walking over and gently tugging her mom away from you.
“Oh, fine,” she said, still beaming as her son dragged her all the way out of the door. “But you need to tell me everything later!”
“Okay, bye-bye,” Sunghoon said before closing the door to her face.
The silence that followed was like a breath of fresh air. You slumped onto the couch, exhaling a long, tired breath. “I can’t believe you forgot about the ring.”
“Nah, I think that’s on you,” he said casually, sitting on the edge of the bed. “This whole thing was your idea. You should have known getting engaged includes getting a ring.”
“Are you saying you didn’t know that?”
Sunghoon paused, head tilting, deep in thought. You sighed and waved a hand dismissively. “Forget it. Where’s the contract? Let’s go over it one more time.”
Sunghoon laid it out on the desk and went through the rules you’d carefully set up—holding hands only in front of family, no hugging, no kissing, agreed backstory, a clear understanding of what questions could be answered and which ones required a unanimous decision, and most importantly, telling everyone after the holidays that things didn’t work out and you had to break up.
You came to the clause about the bed, and after a short discussion, agreed to alternate each night between the bed and the couch.
“Alright, get some rest,” he said after, standing up and walking toward the door. “maybe a shower if you’d like.”
You raised a hand. “Wait, where are you going? You’re not allowed to leave me alone. It’s in the contract. Rule number eight.”
His brows furrowed. “You okay about me being in the room while you shower and get dressed?”
Your cheeks heat up instantly. “Okay. You can go,” you said calmly.
He chuckled softly, hands in his pockets, turning to the door again. “I’ll just check out the field, see what’s there to expect. Don’t worry. I won’t be long,” he beamed, giving a small wave before closing the door.
By the end of that night, the engagement ring situation had been settled. You’d stared down at the ring already on your finger and said, “We can just say this is it.”
Sunghoon had squinted at it, thoughtful. “It doesn’t look like an engagement ring.”
You lifted your chin. “It does. The rock is a diamond. Just smaller than what engagement rings usually have. Do you have a better idea?” you shot back.
He didn’t. So that was that. The ring was promoted on the spot, its significance upgraded without its consent, and you both agreed never to question it again unless absolutely necessary. Preferably never.
And then the week began and nothing could have prepared you for what the holidays looked like in his family.
It was loud. Doors were always opening, someone was always calling out from another room, laughter echoing down hallways. There were meals that turned into three-hour affairs, dishes clattering, voices overlapping, debates breaking out over the most insignificant things. Someone was always touching someone else—an arm around a shoulder, fingers laced together, hair ruffled in passing. Affection here wasn’t saved for special moments. It was everywhere.
It was nothing like the holidays you knew.
Christmas, to you, had always been quiet. A peaceful dinner with your grandmother. Soft music playing in the background. Catching up, exchanging gifts, sitting side by side on the couch with wine glasses until you both got sleepy and called it a night.
Here, Christmas started days early and showed no signs of slowing down.
You were fed constantly. Asked questions constantly. Complimented, hugged, pulled into conversations you barely understood, handed drinks you didn’t ask for. At some point, someone insisted you had to try a dessert because it was “Sunghoon’s favorite growing up,” and suddenly he was there beside you, watching your reaction.
That was another problem entirely. Sunghoon was a little too good at this.
He held your hand casually, like it was second nature. Thumb brushing over your knuckles without thinking. He leaned in when people spoke to you, an arm slipping around your waist like muscle memory. He remembered to pull out your chair, to pass you food first, to check if you were cold before grabbing you a sweater.
None of it felt forced. If anything, you were the awkward one. “How are you so good at this?”
He glanced at you, amused. “Good at what?”
“This,” you said vaguely, gesturing between the two of you. “The loving boyfriend thing. It’s weird!”
His mouth twitched. “Would you rather I be awkward and obvious like you?”
You scoffed. “I am not obvious.”
“You flinch every time I touch you.”
“That’s because you don’t give me a heads up,” you hissed.
He just smiled, infuriatingly smug, and reached for your hand again as someone walked past. “Real couples don’t need a heads up for something like this,” he said, lifting your joined hands, then pressing a soft kiss on the back of your hand.
“What are you doing?” you deadpanned, but the smile on his lips remained.
“Nana and your grandma are looking right at us,” he said.
You turned your head to said direction, and found that they were, in fact, not looking. You scoffed, pulled your hand back and glared at him. “I’m docking your pay for this month.”
“You really think I need it?” he asked smugly, spreading his arms in a grand gesture.
You grimaced, taken aback by an arrogance you’d never seen in him before. “Stop. It’s your family’s, not yours.”
“Well, I’m part of this family, so…” he replied, shrugging arrogantly. You snorted, rolling your eyes but not denying your laugh.
Sunghoon has always been popular in your company. You noticed that much after weeks of having him beside you everyday. People were always ogling him, heads turned whenever he passed by, followed by giggles and dreamy sighs. It was different from when it was just you. Most of the time, people tried to avoid eye contact with you and turned the other way when they saw you coming.
Of course you knew why he was popular—it has all to do with his good-looks. You tried, but you could never deny that his appearance was, in fact, out of this world. Not to mention he’s tall, has good genes, and is intelligent. But other than that, there wasn’t much you could say about him as a person. You didn’t really know what he was like outside of work, after all. You never paid him that much attention unless he was giving you a rundown of the day’s agenda.
But here, in his home, surrounded by his family, you started noticing him more—not as your assistant, not even as your fake fiancée—but as someone in his own world. You saw the way he laughed freely here, all toothy and loud. The way he let his nieces climb all over him, how he listened when his grandmother spoke, how his mother scolded him and kissed his cheek in the same breath.
He was warm here. Soft and gentle in a way you’d never seen at work. And he was always close to you. His hand would find the small of your back in crowded rooms. He’d tuck you in beside him on couches, offer you food before himself, glance at you like he was checking if you were still okay. Sometimes you caught him watching you when he thought you weren’t looking, his eyes gentle and unreadable.
You told yourself it was part of the act. But as the days passed, surrounded by noise and laughter and far too much affection, you started feeling like you were the one pretending the hardest.
“You ready?” he asked on the morning of the 23rd.
You’d just finished touching up your makeup. “Yes.”
“Okay good. Let’s go. Everyone’s waiting.”
You hesitated, retracting your hand when he reached for it. Sunghoon looked at you like he was over it. “Well? Come on then.”
“It’s just…” you huffed, gesturing vaguely. “It’s a family pictorial. I’m not exactly… family.”
Sunghoon chuckled, reaching for your hand again. “We’ve talked about this. It’s not that deep.”
Except it was. You couldn’t fathom how Sunghoon could be so calm about this whole thing. Not just the family pictorial, but the whole sham of an engagement you two were in.
“I can hear you thinking. Stop that,” he prompted, tugging you by the hand, all the way out of the bedroom.
The house was full. Not metaphorically—literally full. Every bedroom was occupied, couches were claimed, extra chairs pulled out from storage, voices overlapping in every corner of the house. The entire family had arrived, cousins and partners and children. You’d naturally been absorbed into it, everyone’s basically been treating you like family.
They had a tradition, apparently. A family photo every Christmas. Same spot, same arrangement, different years. It was said to always happen every morning of the 23rd, two days before Christmas. And everyone took it seriously, dressing up with intent and looking their best.
“You can’t not join,” Sunghoon reminded you, steering you toward the center of the room. “That’d be weird. Am I supposed to tell everyone, ‘this is a fake engagement so she’s skipping out’?”
You lowered your voice as people shuffled around you, calling names, arguing about height order. “That’s the thing. This is fake and temporary, but the photo we’re taking is gonna live forever in your family albums. Immortalized and revisited every year.”
He laughed softly, like it hadn’t even occurred to him that this could be a problem. “If you really feel that bad about it,” he said, shrugging, “you could always marry me for real. Clear your conscience.”
You gave him a deadpan look. He simply grinned, completely unrepentant, then gently nudged you forward as someone called his name again.
By then, it was too late to back out. You let yourself be placed beside him, his arm slipping easily around your back like it belonged there.
The camera flashed.And just like that, this Christmas was immortalized as the year Sunghoon brought home a girl. If you didn’t get caught in the lie, then it would be the year he brought home a fiancée and things didn’t work out. If you did get caught, then it would still be the year he brought home a fiancée, but a fake one.Either way. It would be humiliating for him.
You thought that would be the end of it. But later, after breakfast, when the living room had devolved into noise and laughter and people sprawled across every available surface, one of his cousins produced a Polaroid camera.
“Oh, we’re doing couples,” she announced. “This is non-negotiable.”
Groans followed, and some cheers. You felt Sunghoon’s hand find yours before you’d even fully processed what was happening, his fingers lacing with yours like muscle memory.
“You weren’t kidding,” you muttered under your breath. “Your family really does love each other.”
“You love us too,” he murmured back, grinning.
“I’ve known you people for a week,” you retorted, scoffing. But then, looking around, you added, “But yeah. You guys are cool.”
You were herded onto the couch together, shoulders pressed close. Someone crouched in front of you, aiming the camera. She looked into the camera, then at the two of you, brows furrowed.
“Are you guys really dating?” she asked, and you felt your heart drop to the floor. For a second, you wondered if you got caught, but then she added, “Scoot closer. This isn’t the 1800s.”
You chuckled and it came out strained. Sunghoon’s arm snaked around your waist, making you stiffen and glance at him. He gave it a gentle squeeze, urging you to relax. So you tried.
“Kiss!” someone shouted from behind, followed by a chorus of hoots and whistles.
“That’s enough,” Sunghoon said lightly, but firmly. “You’re not getting a show.”
There were groans. Booing. Someone yelled that he was no fun. He just shrugged like none of it bothered him.
“Smile!” the cousin prompted.
You smiled without thinking. Then the camera clicked, and the photo slid out with a soft whirr.
Sunghoon didn’t move right away. Neither did you. When you glanced at him, he was already looking at you. You blinked. “What?”
“Nothing,” he replied, eyes gleaming, a smile playing on his lips. You stared back, brows furrowing, confused at the attention he was giving you.
You waited a second. Then another. The smile on his lips didn’t change, it just stayed there, sweet and knowing, like he was in on something you weren’t.
Heat crept up your neck. You shifted slightly on the couch, suddenly very aware of how close you were sitting, of his arm still resting behind you. “Why are you staring at me?”
He hummed softly, like he was thinking about it. But he still didn’t answer. So you stopped looking away.
If he was going to stare, then fine. You could stare too.
But that was a bad idea. The noise around you slowly faded while you held his gaze, your heart thudding louder and louder with every passing second. His expression changed then, and you couldn’t tell what it meant. It was something between amusement and surprise.
Click!
You both broke at the sound, turning toward his cousin.
“Oh,” she said, already grinning down at the developing photo. “This one’s going on the tree!”
Everyone eventually drifted off to do their own thing. The kids bundled themselves up and tore out into the snow, their shrieks of laughter muffled by scarves and knit hats. You stayed inside, lounging on one of the couches near the wide living room windows, a warm mug cradled between your palms as you watched them tumble and recover and tumble again.
Nana sat beside you with a knitted blanket over her lap, while your grandma sat across from you, glasses perched low on her nose.
“They used to do that too,” your grandma said fondly, nodding toward the window. “Run around like little monsters until we had to drag them back inside.”
You smiled. “Who?”
“Your father,” Nana replied with a smile. “And my kids. Every summer, without fail. They’d come stay here for weeks. This place was a rental at the time. We didn’t have enough money yet to purchase it.”
Your attention sharpened. You hadn’t heard much about that time—just fragments, half-remembered anecdotes your grandmother would mention in passing.
“Oh yes,” your grandmother chimed in. “We saved up a few months of salary just to rent this out for summer,” she added, laughing heartily.
Nana nodded, looking outside. “They were inseparable. Always muddy, always hungry. Your father was so polite, though. Even as a boy.”
Grandma chuckled. “Polite until he got comfortable.”
You laughed softly, the sound surprising you. “That sounds like him.”
“They were happy summers,” Nana continued, her voice warm with memory. “Those were good days. This place witnessed those kids grow up. Your mom and dad got engaged here.”
The room fell into a gentle hush, that subtle heaviness creeping in. You knew it all too well. It always happened whenever your parents were brought into the conversation. Nana reached out and patted your knee, her touch gentle and affectionate.
“You must miss them very much,” she said softly.
You swallowed, then nodded. “I do. But it’s okay. Really.” You managed a small smile. “I was young. I barely remember some things.”
That wasn’t entirely true—but it was the version you’d learned to give people, the one that made them stop looking at you like you might shatter.
Nana studied you for a moment, eyes kind but knowing. “Still,” she said, “we’re glad you’re here. You’re family too, you know.”
You blinked, throat tightening unexpectedly. “Thank you,” you said, meaning it more than you could explain.
Then, as if sensing the mood had sunk too low, your grandma straightened a little and clapped her hands together lightly. “Well! Speaking of family,” she said brightly, “have you two thought about where you’ll get married?”
“I—what?” you blurted before you could stop yourself.
“Oh, don’t look so shocked,” your grandma laughed. “This is not an unexpected subject.”
You chuckled awkwardly. “No. No, it’s not. I just—we… Sunghoon and I haven’t discussed it yet.”
“But you’re gonna get married anyway, aren’t you?” Nana asked, placing a hand on your arm. “Why wait? You could do it here. After Christmas. The snow would be beautiful.”
“Oh, I love winter weddings,” your grandma gushed.
“I do too!” Nana agreed, also gushing. “My youngest had one and it was majestic!”
Your mind scrambled, panic blooming fast. After Christmas? Here? You could practically feel the lie ballooning again, threatening to burst.
“I think that might be a little—” you started, glancing desperately around the room, looking for Sunghoon.
“Oh, of course we’ll leave that up to you two,” said Nana, giggling. “But think about it and let us know. I know a good organizer who can give us an amazing event in short notice.”
Right on cue, the front door opened. Cold air rushed in along with laughter, Sunghoon’s uncle stomping snow off his boots as Sunghoon followed behind him, cheeks flushed from the cold.
“Perfect conditions out there,” his uncle announced cheerfully. “Snow uphill is just right. We can go sledding today!”
The kids immediately erupted, cheers echoing through the house. Sunghoon’s gaze flicked to you, taking you in—your posture, your pallid face and horrified expression—and quickly understood that you needed him.
“Hello, ladies,” he greeted, kissing his Nana on the cheek and your grandma too. “I hope you’re not bullying my fiancee.”
They both chuckled, waving their hands. “Oh, we’re just talking,” Nana said, smiling.
Sunghoon turned to you. “Wanna go sledding?”
“Yes,” you exclaimed with enthusiasm, not because you wanted to go but because you couldn’t wait to get out of there. “I love sledding.”
“Then we should go before they destroy the hill,” he smiled, offering a hand.
Nana laughed, waving a hand. “Go on, go. We’ll talk weddings later.”
You nearly tripped over your own feet standing up. Sunghoon fell into step beside you as you walked toward the main door, leaning in just enough to murmur, “You okay?”
“Pretty sure I was this close to spontaneously combusting,” you whispered back. “But yeah. I’m okay.”
Outside, the cold bit through your coat immediately. The sky was pale and endless, the snow untouched and glittering. Laughter was echoing from the hill as kids dragged sleds uphill.
Sunghoon handed you a pair of gloves without comment. You took them automatically, slipping them on. “Our grandmas suggested we get married here, just after Christmas. Apparently they both love winter weddings.”
“Oh, wow. What did you say to that?” he asked, walking over to fix your bonnet.
You scoffed, then rolled your eyes, letting him tie the laces of your bonnet under your chin. “What do you think? Couldn’t even get a word in. They were taking a mile a minute.”
He chuckled softly, patting your head after he was done with the laces. “Don’t mind them. Ultimately, the decision would be up to us. They can’t force us to do anything.”
You hummed to that, agreeing. Then you looked up at his hand, still sitting on your head. “You’re getting comfortable, Secretary Park.”
He grinned, defiant, not moving his hand away as he leaned down to say, “Except I’m not Secretary Park right now. I’m your baby.”
You grimaced, swatting his hand away. “Ew. As if.”
“Ah, it wasn’t ‘baby’. What was it, again?” he teased, walking backward. “My love, was it?”
You scowled, running after him to hit him. But he dodged easily. “You’re so annoying. I’m firing you first thing when we get back.”
“No, you won’t,” he grinned, holding out a hand. “You’re not gonna find a secretary who can do better than me.”
You scoffed, but you knew he was right. “Only for now,” you retorted. “As soon as Becca’s back, you’re out,” you added, then took his hand and followed him into the snow.
Sledding, apparently, was a two-person activity. You found that out only after everyone had already scattered across the hill, pairs forming naturally.
“Oh, I’m good,” you said quickly, hanging back near the fence. “I’ll just… watch.”
Sunghoon turned toward you, breath fogging in the cold. “You don’t wanna try?”
“I’m perfectly content being moral support,” you replied, hands tucked into your coat sleeves. “Very enthusiastic moral support.”
“Come on. It’s fun. You’re gonna love it,” he offered, smiling. Then he held a hand out to you, palm up.
“C’mon,” he said again. “One ride.”
You hesitated. You really did. You even glanced back toward the house, like the contract might physically manifest and slap his hand away for you. But then he tilted his head slightly, arm still extended, that stupid smile on his lips, and you sighed.
“Fine,” you muttered, stepping forward. “But hands around me is against the rules.”
He lifted a brow. “We’re sledding. I have to hold you.”
You considered that for a second, then nodded. “Alright. Compromise.”
You followed him, letting him guide you toward one of the sleds waiting at the top of the hill. The snow was packed down from use. You sat down first, legs tucked in, bracing yourself.
Sunghoon climbed on behind you and you stiffened immediately as his knees bracketed your hips, your back pressing flush against his chest through layers of winter coats.
“Relax,” he murmured, his voice too close to your ear that it made the hair on your neck rise.
“I am relaxed,” you blurted, which was a blatant lie.
His hands hovered for a second, like he was giving you time to object. When you didn’t, he placed them carefully at your sides instead of fully around you, fingers gripping the edge of the sled.
“See?” he whispered in your ear, and you felt that in the way your heart started racing. “No rules broken.”
Your heart was already pounding like you were halfway down the hill. “Just… don’t move them,” you warned.
“I won’t.”
The sled jerked forward. Snow rushed past in a blur as gravity took over, the world tilting, the cold air biting at your cheeks. You gasped, half-laughing, half-panicking as the speed picked up.
Behind you, Sunghoon laughed too, his breath warm where it brushed your ear. The sled hit a small bump, and you jolted back instinctively. His arm tightened at your side—not wrapping, but close enough that you felt it anyway.
“You okay?” he asked.
You nodded, even though he couldn’t see it. “Yeah!” you replied, grinning so hard as the wind whipped against your face.
When the sled finally slowed at the bottom of the hill, snow spraying up around you, you were both still laughing, breathless, a little unsteady.
Then the laughter faded. You looked up at him at the same time he looked down at you, and suddenly the space between your faces felt too small. Small enough that you could feel his warm breath against your cheek.
You blinked a few times, surprised and frozen in place. Sunghoon’s gaze dropped to your mouth, just for a second. When it lifted again, he swallowed, adam’s apple bobbing once. Seeing that and the intent in his eyes made your heart kick painfully against your ribs, like it was trying to escape.
Laughter and cheering exploded behind you as another sled barreled to a stop nearby.
You moved instantly, standing too fast, stepping away before your body could do something stupid. Cold air rushed back in like a shock as you brushed snow from your coat, cheeks burning despite the winter air.
Sunghoon cleared his throat. “That was fun,” he said, smiling like nothing happened.
You swallowed, looking away. “Yeah.”
Behind you, you could feel his gaze linger. You told yourself it was just adrenaline. Still, when he reached for the sled again and asked, “One more?” you didn’t say no.
The rest of the day passed in a blur. You drifted between rooms, between conversations—helping in the kitchen, sitting in on half-finished card games, watching kids chase each other until someone inevitably cried over a stolen candy cane.
Somewhere in the middle of it all, you realized you’d stopped keeping track of where Sunghoon was at all times. Not because you didn’t care, but because you didn’t need to.
He was there when you glanced up from a conversation, leaning against a doorway, already looking at you. He was there beside you when someone handed out mugs of something warm, your shoulders brushing as you accepted yours. There were looks shared across the room, quick whispered comments that made you laugh under your breath, inside jokes forming without effort.
For once since you got here, there was no pressure to perform. No constant mental checklist. No fear that you’d look too distant for two people who were supposedly engaged. You were just genuinely enjoying yourself.
By nightfall, after a movie that half the room slept through, you found yourself walking back down the hall beside him, the house was quieter now, voices fading behind closed doors.
You were still laughing about a scene from the movie neither of you could take seriously. Your steps slowed naturally as you reached the door to the bedroom.
Sunghoon lingered in the hallway, hands in his pockets, watching you with a thoughtful expression. “You know,” he said casually, “you’re a really good person.”
You snorted, already turning toward the door. “Okay.”
“I’m serious.”
That made you pause. You glanced back at him, brows lifting. “Right. Sure you are.”
He rolled his eyes. “No, really. People at work call you Medusa, but I think they’re wrong about you.”
You blinked. “What?”
“Oh, I don’t call you that,” he added quickly. “It’s just them.”
You stared at him, genuinely caught off guard. “Medusa?”
“Like I said, they’re wrong. Please forgive them,” he said, smiling. “It’s just that they’ve never met someone so hardworking and intelligent. So sharp. So… wonderful. I think they figured there’s no way a real person could be that amazing, so they called you Medusa.”
Your stomach fluttered, completely against your will. But then you scoffed lightly, shaking your head. “Or,” you said, recovering, “it’s because people freeze when they see me. Like Medusa turns them into stone.”
He laughed. “That too.”
You laughed too, the sound echoing softly down the quiet hallway. And then for a moment, neither of you said anything. You were just staring at each other. When he leaned on the wall adjacent to the door, you mirrored him by leaning on his bedroom door.
Crossing your arms, you said, “It’s my turn on the bed tonight.”
He opened his mouth—probably to argue, like always—then stopped. His gaze was still on you, that soft glow in his eyes was still there.
“…Fine,” he sighed, pushing himself away from the wall and walking toward you. He stopped just a breath away. “You can have it.”
You frowned, caught off guard. “That was too easy.”
He shrugged, reaching for the door knob behind you, leaning in so close. “Don’t get used to it,” he murmured, still not moving away even after he had pushed the door open.
You smiled, shaking your head lightly, and walked in. You took your cardigan off, reached the bed, arranged the blanket—you counted the steps in your head, not because you needed to, but because your chest was doing this ridiculous fluttering thing.
Sunghoon followed quietly, the ghost of a smile still lingering on his lips, and you watched as he picked up his blanket and headed to the couch. Then he gave you a small wave before disappearing behind the backrest.
You lay down, smiling to yourself, staring up at the ceiling, heart doing something inconvenient in your chest.
This is bad, you whispered in your thoughts. This is so bad. You were smiling like an idiot. Because of Park Sunghoon!
You exhaled through your nose. Okay. So maybe you were enjoying this holiday. A little too much. And yes. Fine. Sunghoon likes you. You weren’t imagining that. You’d spent your entire career reading people; you weren’t about to pretend you couldn’t read this.
But the more troubling realization was: you might be starting to like him back.
And that was bad because you had no idea how to tread this territory. This wasn’t in the agreement. There was no clause for catching feelings, no protocol for what to do if that ever happened.
“Hey,” Sunghoon’s voice carried from across the room, making your head snap that way, quieting your thoughts.
“Hey…” you murmured back.
“Goodnight,” he said softly.
You didn’t answer right away. You let yourself breathe. Then you exhaled softly, trying to get some control back, and making a decision right then and there. “Goodnight, Secretary Park,” you murmured.
You knew what it meant to call him that, knew how that sounded. But the words weren’t exactly for him. Not really. They were for you—a reminder to draw a line, to keep your head straight and not get distracted.
Because it turns out that the most dangerous thing about fake dating is not getting caught; it’s when things start to feel real.
The house was already awake when you stirred the next morning. You could tell before you even opened the door—voices overlapping downstairs, footsteps on the stairs, laughter that was louder than usual. Sunghoon noticed it too the second he stepped out of the bathroom, hair still damp, sleeves rolled as he buttoned his shirt.
“Is it just me or is the house noisier than usual?” he asked, voice light.
You huffed a laugh. “Maybe your family multiplied in their sleep.”
You didn’t get far down the stairs before his mother intercepted the both of you, beaming, hands clasped together like she’d been waiting all morning for this exact moment.
“Surprise!” she said brightly.
Behind her, the living room was packed. Not just relatives—new faces. Older couples you didn’t recognize, younger people clustered near the windows, a few men Sunghoon vaguely waved at in recognition. Someone had already put music on. Someone else had brought food. There were flowers on the table that definitely hadn’t been there yesterday.
Sunghoon blinked once. “Mom, what’s going on?”
His mother laughed, waving him off. “Oh, we thought it would be nice to surprise you with an engagement party and invite our family friends, and your friends of course.”
“Your friends?” you asked, looking at Sunghoon.
“Yes, dear,” his mom answered. “Kids he grew up with and went to school with.”
She looped an arm through yours before you could take a step back. “I know it’s a lot, and you two have a penchant for keeping things lowkey. But don’t worry, this is just a small function. We won’t put you in too much spotlight, so no pressure.”
“Hah,” you exclaimed, then chuckled awkwardly. “Of course. No pressure,” you echoed, glancing sideways at Sunghoon.
“Mom,” he said, “you really didn’t have to—”
“Oh hush,” she said, already steering you further into the hall. “Everyone’s been dying to meet you properly.”
And just like that, the lie wasn’t a snowball anymore. It’s an avalanche.
You endured. That was the only way to describe it. Endurance. You smiled when people congratulated you. You nodded when they said you were beautiful together. You accepted hugs from women who smelled like perfume and winter coats and cinnamon.
Someone pressed a drink into your hand. Someone else asked how you met. You answered automatically, muscle memory carrying you through a story you’d told often enough that it no longer snagged.
Sunghoon stayed close. A hand at your back, a glance across the room when the noise spiked. Every so often, he’d hold your hand and give it a light squeeze, as if he was apologizing and asking you to power through.
His friends were easier than you expected. They were polite, warm, and a little teasing, the kind that only comes from a long shared history.
One of them clapped Sunghoon on the shoulder. “Good for you man. Moving away, starting over, meeting someone you wanted to marry.”
“Jealous, Jake?” another guy scoffed. “Maybe if you stopped sleeping around like a menace—”
“Oh, shut up, Jay,” Jake shot back. “You’re the one flirting with sad married women.”
“For the last time,” Jay sighed, rubbing the back of his neck like this argument had worn him thin, “she’s not married. She’s divorced.”
You watched Sunghoon through it all—relaxed, carefree, amused, completely at ease in the presence of friends who knew him best.
“So,” Heeseung cut in, eyes flicking between the two of you. “What are you doing these days, Hoon?”
“Yeah,” someone else added. “What happened after you left the family company?”
That caught your attention. You glanced at Sunghoon. “The slave contract you were talking about,” you said slowly, “that was with your family?”
He grinned, entirely unapologetic. You scowled. “The hell? So you were a nepo baby too. How dare you call me one.”
Sunghoon laughed, head lolling back. You just stared at him, unimpressed. His friends too, apparently. They were just staring like they had no idea what was so funny.
Sunghoon eventually noticed it, so he stopped, cleared his throat, and straightened up. “I’m working as a secretary,” he said, and then, with visible pride, slid an arm around your shoulder. “In her cosmetics company.”
The pause was immediate. “…Wait,” Jay said. “You work for her?”
“She’s the CEO?” Jake asked, and Sunghoon nodded again.
“So you’re—” Heeseung pointed at you, then back at Sunghoon. “—his boss?”
“Yeah,” Sunghoon said proudly. “She’s very cool.”
There was a second where you braced yourself, afraid they might judge him for it. But then Jake barked out a laugh. Then suddenly, everyone else was laughing.
“No way,” Jay said, shaking his head. “You? Taking orders?”
Jake followed, grinning wide. “Do you have any idea how insane that is? This man has never worked under anyone.”
“Ever,” Heeseung added. “He used to boss entire departments around like it was a sport.”
Sunghoon rolled his eyes. “That’s not true.”
“That’s extremely true,” Jake shot back. He turned to you, “He’s so annoying. And he doesn’t even realize it. He once made a manager wait because he ‘wasn’t done talking.’”
You blinked, surprised, then laughed before you could stop yourself. Nodding, you said, “He is kinda annoying. And tactless sometimes.”
Jay pointed at you, delighted. “See? Imagine that kind of guy working under someone?”
Sunghoon was pouting now. “I’m gonna cry and tell my mom if you don’t stop,” he quipped.
But his friends ignored him. Jake asked you, “Bet you’re always on the verge of firing him every day, huh?”
You shrugged. “Not really. He is annoying but I can keep him in line. And he’s pretty good at his job. There are only two people who can keep up with me, and he’s one of them.”
“Figures,” Heeseung said, nodding like it all made sense now. “Leaves the family business, ends up working for someone smarter than him.”
Sunghoon didn’t deny it. If anything, he looked pleased—standing there beside you like this arrangement wasn’t something to be embarrassed about, but something he’d chosen.
You felt something warm settle in your chest at that.
“So,” Jake said, dragging a chair closer and plopping down like he was settling in for a story. “I gotta ask. How did this happen?”
You blinked. “What?”
“You two,” Jake clarified, gesturing between you. “From boss and secretary to engaged and getting married soon.”
Jay leaned forward, eyes bright. “Yeah. Did he seduce you with his wiles while pretending to work as your secretary?”
Sunghoon scoffed. “I did not seduce her.”
“You absolutely did,” Jake said. “Look at him. That’s a man who knows how to weaponize his out-of-this-world good looks.”
You snorted. “Please. If anything, he annoyed me into submission.”
Sunghoon gasped. “That’s slander.”
“Oh, come on,” Jay said. “You’re telling me he didn’t pull the whole competent, always-there, remembers-your-coffee-order routine?”
Sunghoon opened his mouth to protest again, but you beat him to it. “It’s not hard to fall for Sunghoon,” you said.
The table went quiet. You hadn’t planned to say that. It just slipped out.
You cleared your throat, suddenly aware of the way Sunghoon had turned fully toward you. “I mean—he is,” you continued. “He’s thoughtful. He pays attention. He notices things most people don’t bother with. He anticipates what needs to be done without making a show of it.”
Sunghoon didn’t interrupt. He just watched you, expression unreadable, eyes steady.
“He’s… considerate. And patient. And surprisingly kind. Of course, he’s sarcastic and all but even that is excusable because those little arguments are fun and makes every day less dull,” you added, smiling absently. “And he’s the sweetest. Which is annoying, actually, because it makes it hard to stay mad at him.”
You finally looked at Sunghoon.
He was smiling—but not the smug one, not the teasing one. This was softer, the same smile he had been giving you these last few days. The kind that looked like he was grateful for the existence of you. He looked like he hadn’t expected to hear all that, but he was holding it carefully now that it existed.
You gave him the same smile. Or as best as you could reflect it, hoping, and knowing, that he knew exactly what it meant. And you realized now that you had just crossed a line.
Straight up just stepped over it without hesitation, after telling yourself very clearly the night before where it was.
Jake stood abruptly. “Okay. Nope. I’m too single for this.” He waved a hand between the two of you. “You’re both being disgustingly in love. Kissing in front of me would’ve been less damaging.”
Heeseung laughed. “Agreed. Let’s move on before I start believing in love again.”
You huffed a laugh, but it came out weaker than you meant it to. Your chest was heavy with warmth and feelings and… and love.
But you had no time to dwell on it. Someone suggested games. Someone else brought snacks. Chairs were pulled, conversations restarted, the day rolling forward like nothing had almost happened.
But when Sunghoon held your hand under the table later, not for show because no one would’ve seen it, you didn’t move away. And for the rest of the day, you didn’t bring up the line you’d drawn. You just quietly stood on the other side of it.
The engagement party thing was over by noon. Guests left one by one, and the family resumed preparations for Christmas Eve dinner. You were gathered in the kitchen with the adults, helping out with the cookies.
Sunghoon was sitting in a chair beside you, casually chatting with you and his mom about holiday traditions.
“Your parents actually used to host the winter bonfires,” said Sunghoon’s mom, smiling fondly at you.
“They did?” you asked, delighted to hear another anecdote about your parents.
She nodded. “Yes. Every year. And then your mom got pregnant with you, so they skipped a year. After that, the whole tradition just stopped,” she added, sighing. “They’d always made it so magical. We simply could not recreate it.”
Sunghoon leaned forward, gesturing with his mug. “I remember when I met her parents. Incredible people. And her mom’s so beautiful.”
The room froze. Adults exchanged sharp glances, eyebrows raised. His mom looked at him, brows furrowed. “You met her parents?”
“Yeah. I—” You nudged Sunghoon’s leg under the table, stopping him.
“But that’s impossible, dear,” Nana said, her voice laced with sympathy, “you couldn’t have. Her parents passed away a long time ago.”
You felt Sunghoon freeze beside you. Quick on your feet, you leaned slightly toward him, your tone casual as if nothing unusual had happened, as if your heart didn’t just sink to your stomach.
“Oh, I took him to their graves,” you said smoothly. “He met them there.”
Sunghoon blinked at you, clearly realizing he’d made a mistake.
“I wanted to introduce him to them first,” you added, smiling, channeling your best acting yet. “I didn’t know our connection yet at the time, but they were probably thrilled to know I’m marrying their close friend’s son.”
“Aw,” Sunghoon’s mom sighed. “That’s very thoughtful of you, isn’t it?”
The tension in the room melted almost instantly, replaced by murmurs and soft chuckles from the other adults. Conversation resumed around you, with only a few glances exchanged—reminders of the near slip, and of just how good you were at thinking on your feet.
Sunghoon reached for your hand, so you glanced at him. He looked apologetic, and you could tell it wasn’t because he nearly revealed that you weren’t in a real relationship. You smiled at him, patting his hand and mouthing, ‘It’s okay.’
By the time dinner preparations were done, you were exhausted. Exhausted from the engagement party, from socializing with people who were basically strangers to you, and exhausted from helping out in the kitchen.
“This is nice and all, but I think I prefer our boring Christmas dinners, Grandma,” you told your Grandma while getting dressed for dinner.
She chuckled heartily, sitting in front of her vanity and trying on a different shade of lipstick. “Being surrounded by people you love on Christmas is how it’s supposed to be, my dear. It’s a shame I couldn’t give you this kind of warmth growing up.”
“Hey,” you chided, walking toward her and wrapping your arms around her shoulder. “I have no complaints, so you shouldn’t talk like that. You raised me as best as you can and taught me everything I know.”
Your Grandma melted in your embrace, sighing as she put the lipstick down. “Yeah, you’re a wonderful kid, alright. I just wished you were a little sweeter.”
“Please,” you chuckled, pulling away. “My lack of sweetness and my attitude in general is thanks to you, as well.”
“I know that, but couldn’t you be more affectionate? Or expressive?” she sighed, gaze following you across the room. “Learn a thing or two about expressing yourself from Sunghoon.”
“Too late for that,” you quipped, checking your reflection in the mirror once more.
Your Grandma sighed in defeat. “I guess I should be glad you’re marrying him then. He can express affection for both of you.”
Then came a series of knocks on the door. You quickly walked toward it, yanking it open knowing Sunghoon would be on the other side.
“Hi,” he beamed, taking you in with his eyes. “You look amazing.”
You shrugged. “You don’t look so bad yourself, my love,” you replied, using your endearment, not because your grandma was there, but because… just because.
“Shall we?”
The dining room was warm, the scent of roasted meat and cinnamon filling the air. Dinner was loud like always in this house—chairs scraping, someone always talking over someone else, Nana shushing nobody in particular.
You ended up seated beside Sunghoon, mostly because every time you tried to move, someone asked you to stay. He passed you food without asking. You corrected his grip on the serving spoon once. He fixed it without comment.
At some point, his Nana leaned over. “Is now the best time to talk weddings?”
Sunghoon chuckled lightly. “Nana, it’s Christmas eve. We’ll have time for that later.”
Nana tried to insist, but eventually gave up when you both refused adamantly. Later, when some cousins got up to chase the kids outside for an impromptu snowball fight, Sunghoon leaned closer.
After dishes were cleared and the family settled around the living room for a low-volume carol playlist, you both slipped out to the balcony, leaving the laughter and chatter behind. The night was cold, and snowflakes drifted lazily downward, coating the garden below in soft white. Sunghoon wrapped a blanket around himself, then stood behind you.
“Is this okay?” he asked, wrapping his arms and the blanket around you.
You chuckled, feeling the warmth seep in immediately. “Are people watching?”
“Yeah. About a dozen of them,” he replied briskly. “I think I need to hold you closer. Make it more believable, you know?” he added, already tightening his arms around you.
You could tell he was lying, but you didn’t bother confirming. “You should, or we’d get caught,” you said, leaning your head against his chest.
“Your family has a lot of stamina,” you said after a pause. “I would’ve tapped out after day one.”
“You did better than I expected,” he replied, chuckling. “Everyone likes you. Nana adores you.”
“That’s terrifying,” you said, looking up at him. “She’s very perceptive.”
Sunghoon smiled, shifting a little and pressing his chin on top of your head. “Tomorrow’s Christmas Day.”
“I know. One more day and this is all over,” you replied, taking a long relieved breath. “We can finally go back to how things were.”
You felt him stiffen behind you, recovering almost as quickly. He laughed slowly. “I was actually thinking the same thing. When this is over, we could go back to our hectic, caffeinated daily routine, closing deals like champs, terrorizing the marketing head, pressuring manufacturers, calling the lab day in and day out for new and improved formulas.”
“You’re making us sound like bad capitalists,” you quipped, grinning. “I mean we’re capitalists but we're not that bad.”
Sunghoon chuckled, his chest vibrating against your back. “And I was also thinking…” he paused, loosened his arms, and turned you around so you could face him fully.
He braced his hands on the railing, caging you in as he stared into your eyes. You held your breath and looked away, unable to meet his eyes.
“I was thinking maybe we could go out on nice dinners sometimes. After work,” he continued. “Go on a road trip on weekends. Maybe catch a movie if you’re into that.”
“Like bosses and secretaries do?”
He huffed a laugh. “I’m pretty sure they don’t do that.”
You shrugged, still looking anywhere but his eyes. “They might. If they’re… dating.”
The word lingered between you, more meaningful than you meant it to be. Sunghoon stayed quiet for a few moments, then, softly, carefully, he said your name, the word rolling beautifully on his tongue.
You looked up, finally meeting his gaze. “Yes? Sunghoon?”
Something changed in his expression. Like you’d tapped something only he could feel. “That’s three times,” he said softly.
“What?”
“Three times you’ve called me by my name since we met.”
You blinked, surprised he’d even noticed. “You’re counting?”
He shrugged. “If you’re Secretary Park every minute of the day, you just can’t help but keep count.”
Neither of you moved. He didn’t step closer, diidn’t touch you, he just stayed there, giving you space and somehow still holding you in place.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked softly, almost in a whisper.
“That would be breaking the rules,” you said, automatically. Not because you actually cared about the rules, but because you were too nervous. Your heart was kicking hard against your ribs. Your breathing was getting unsteady. And your skin was pricking not from the cold, but from anticipation.
“I knew you’d say that,” he chuckled, already leaning in.
You met him halfway. In a kiss that was soft and careful, growing firmer with every breath. His hand found your waist, warm through the layers, steadying you as your lips pressed back with more certainty.
For a moment, you couldn’t hear or see anything. You could only feel. Feel his hand around you, his lips against yours, his warmth, your warmth, his heartbeat against your own. Snow fell. Laughter drifted faintly from inside. The world continued on, unaware. Or maybe they were aware. You didn’t care. Right now, nothing else mattered but this moment right here.
Even after you pulled away, you stayed close, foreheads touching, breaths fogging, cheeks flushed, and grinning. Sunghoon’s hands lingered at your waist, firm but gentle, the warmth through the layers of your coats seeping into you like it was meant to.
“God, it’s freezing out here,” he murmured, voice low.
“You don’t say,” you whispered back, and the words were a laugh and a shiver at the same time.
He tilted his head slightly, nudging yours so your noses brushed. “I—” He stopped, exhaling sharply.
You tilted your chin up, meeting his eyes. “I know,” you said softly.
He let out a small laugh, almost a sigh, pressing a little closer. “I don’t want to stop.”
“Neither do I,” you admitted, and it came out softer than you expected, a confession you hadn’t planned to give aloud.
There was a pause, long enough that you could feel your heart hammering against your ribs, long enough that the wind seemed to hush around you. Your hands found his neck, and he leaned into your touch, eyes closing for just a fraction of a second before reopening, searching yours.
“I can’t pretend anymore.”
“Then let’s not,” you replied softly, and before you knew it, Sunghoon was scooping you up again for another kiss.
You were used to being in control.
Boardrooms fell silent whenever you walked in. People listened when you spoke. Decisions were set the moment you made them. Even now, in Sunghoon’s bedroom with the door closed and the city humming somewhere across the sea, you expected that familiar balance to tilt in your favor.
But it didn’t.
“What are you doing?” you asked, eyes wide and brows furrowed at Sunghoon who just stopped kissing you out of nowhere.
He shrugged, infuriatingly nonchalant and relaxed. “We need to slow down.”
“What?” you demanded, thoroughly confused. “What do you mean? This was your idea.”
“It is, but I need to know we’re on the same page here,” he said, smiling casually, but the firm grip of his hands on your hips told you he was restraining himself hard.
“I thought we made that clear?”
“No. What we did was stare into each other’s eyes and use vague words,” he said, gesturing vaguely.
You rolled your eyes, frustration bubbling over. “Park Sunghoon, I swear to God if you don’t kiss me right no—”
He crashed his lips into yours, shutting you up completely. Your body reacted immediately, heat and need shooting up through your core. Sunghoon’s long fingers tangled into your hair, tugging firmly until a moan escaped from your lips. He took this chance to shove his tongue into your open mouth. You pulled him even closer, breasts pressing against his broad chest.
His kisses trailed to your jaw, one hand slipping under your shirt to touch the skin of your waist. You gasped when his mouth latched to your neck, sucking and nipping.
“Hoon,” you said, tapping his shoulders. “Take me to the bed.”
Sunghoon pulled away just enough to press his forehead against you, smirking. “Is that an order?” he rasped, his hand underneath your shirt now moving to slip past your bra.
“No?” you breathed, holding back a moan when he gave your nipple a gentle squeeze. “Is it?”
“It better not be,” he whispered into your ear, lips brushing the sensitive skin. He took your wrists “I’ll allow that at work, but don’t think for one second that I’m gonna let you tell me what to do in my room…”
He kissed your neck, making your skin shiver in the best way. “Or on my bed,” he added, licking your throat.
You moaned out his name, but he was quick to press a finger on your lips. “Shush, love. This may be a big house, but the walls here are thin.”
“Sunghoon…” you purred, and he cupped your cheek gently, then pressed a long, lingering kiss to your forehead.
“Be quiet, alright?” he said, smiling before disappearing from your line of sight.
You were confused for a fraction of a second. Then you felt your skirt being lifted, followed by something pressing on your clothed cunt without warning.
You gasped, realizing belatedly that it was Sunghoon’s nose. You felt him take a long sniff, hand wrapping around your thigh. You grabbed a fistful of his hair and he let out a growl the likes of which you’d never heard before.
A second later, he was devouring you, relentless and insatiable, leaving you trembling under his touch. Your grip on his hair tightened, your knees were threatening to give out with every lick. If it wasn’t for his tight hold around your legs, you would have collapsed on the floor already.
Sunghoon slipped a finger into you, without warning, making you gasp. He rose to his feet, finger still inside you, his other hand pushing loose hair behind your ear as he shushed you gently.
“The entire house is gonna hear you, and they’re gonna know exactly what’s going on in here,” he said, as if it wasn’t his fingering that was making you make all these noises.
But you listened anyway, biting down your lower lip, tears pricking at your eyelids when he pushed a second finger in. You buried your face on his chest, fingers digging into his shoulders as he pushed you closer to the edge
Sunghoon pressed his lips on the side of your head, shushing you gently while still brutally ramming his fingers in and out of your sex.
Then you felt that familiar knot twisting low in your belly, threatening to come undone. Your breathing turned erratic, breasts falling and rising rapidly as you braced for an orgasm. Sunghoon saw that, kissed your cheek, and moved harder amd faster.
His fingers were cramping, but the delightful look on your face was spurring him on. He couldn’t wait to see the beautiful face you’d make when it’s finally him drilling into your sweet cunt. Just thinking about it was making his cock throb—hard and hot, still trapped in his pants.
“Hoon, I’m—” you cut yourself off, gasping, body jerking, hands on his shoulders gripping tighter as a wave of orgasmm surged through you.
Then you fell limp against Sunghoon, who held you steadily. He kissed you again because… well because he just couldn’t stop himself from kissing you, could he? His head was clouded, and all he could think of was how much he wanted to fuck your brains out.
So he lifted your thighs, wrapped your legs around his legs and carried you over to the bed.
You fell on the mattress with a bounce, still out of breath from the aftershocks of your orgasm. Sunghoon crawled over you, smirk tugging at his lips.
“Still wanna tell me what to do?” he asked, mouth hovering just above yours.
You hesitated. That hesitation made him smile. “That’s what I thought,” he murmured, kissing you again.
His hand pinned your wrist above your head, the other tracing down your side like he was rewriting the rules you lived by. He gathered the hem of your sweater, yanking it up and over your head, before crashing his lips back to yours.
Your skirt and stockings followed immediately after, his hands settling on your thighs, spreading them wide enough for him to marvel at the sight of your wet pussy.
“Like what you’re seeing?” you asked, confidence spiking because Sunghoon was looking at you like you were the eighth wonder of the world.
He huffed an amused laugh, hand tracing your thigh. “Oh, I love it. You have no idea.”
When was the last time you felt this kind of intense desire and uninhibited pleasure? You couldn’t even remember. Not that it mattered. Sunghoon was here to rock your entire world tonight, with that rock-hard, standing tall, deliciously girthy manhood that had just sprang free from the confines of his boxers.
You held your breath when he positioned himself between your legs, licking a stripe on his hands and coating his cock with the slick. Your fingers curled into the sheets as he pressed into you slowly, the earlier orgasm making him slide smoothly, but the stretch made you whimper.
“Don’t make me cover that mouth myself,” he warned, grinning so sweetly, unaware of the surge of pleasure that just shot through you when he said those words.
He bottomed out with a groan, his body settling over yours as he collected himself. His hair brushed your face as he moaned against your chest, muttering curses under his breath.
Meanwhile, you were catching your breath, chest rising and falling rapidly. “Sunghoon, I need you to move. Please. Please. Please,” you’d basically pleaded.
Sunghoon exhaled sharply, lifting his head to meet your gaze and plant a quick kiss to your lips. “I’ll allow it because you asked nicely,” he quipped, pulling out for a second just before thrusting into you.
Your chest rose and fell against his, nerves dancing in sensations his every move was sending through your body. Your fingers tangled, your breaths mingled, heat lingered in every glance, and every brush of skin. You clung to him, losing track of everything except his touch and the way he held you close.
The world had narrowed to the feeling of him against you, the pull and the push—especially the push. Your lower lip stung from biting too hard to keep yourself quiet. Your heart was beating wildly in your chest, echoing in his.
He brushed a strand of hair from your face, lips grazing your temple, and the shiver that ran down your spine was delightful and hot.
“You are most beautiful,” he whispered, eyes locked with yours, filled with sincerity and something tender… something that looked a lot like love.
Snow kept falling outside, and somewhere between the haze of lust and warmth, you were sure that whatever came next would leave both of you ruined in the best possible way. But at the same time, you realized you wouldn’t have wanted to stop even if you could.
You woke up to Sunghoon’s arms wrapped around you, his warmth seeping through the blankets, his scent lingering in your hair and on your clothes. He was awake, head propped on one hand, watching you with that half-smile that made your chest tighten.
“What are you doing?” you mumbled, embarrassed, burying your face against his shoulder.
“Keeping my eyes on you in case this turns out to be a dream and you disappear,” he said in one breath, brushing loose strands of hair behind your ear.
You grinned, snuggling closer. “That’s so corny.”
You stayed like that for a few more minutes, savoring the warmth and the way his hand traced idle patterns along your side. But the inevitability of the morning eventually caught up with you. It’s Christmas Day. By now, the rest of the family would be gathered downstairs, waiting to open gifts and celebrate some more.
“Come on. You should see what I got you,” he said, sitting up. “It’s in a red box with a shiny green ribbon on it.”
“You got me something?” you asked, genuinely surprised.
Sunghoon looked at you like the answer should have been obvious. “Of course, I got you something. It’s Christmas. You’re supposed to— wait…” he paused, narrowing his eyes at you. “You didn’t get me anything, did you?”
You smiled sheepishly, and Sunghoon’s jaw dropped. But then he shrugged, reached to cup your face, and grinned.
“It’s okay. I think I received my best Christmas gift yet,” he chimed, leaning in to kiss you.
You ended up cuddling in bed again. Sunghoon was relentless, kissing the back of your neck, tugging your hands, soft murmurs of promises that made your heart flutter and your cheeks burn. Getting up after that was slow. Clothes, brushing teeth, and somehow, through a haze of laughter, stolen kisses, and whispers, you managed to get ready.
“You’re so pretty,” he said, standing behind you in front of the mirror and wrapping his arms around.
“Thanks. I figured I should try harder if I’m gonna date someone so otherworldly handsome,” you replied, turning to face him, arms finding their way around his neck.
Sunghoon grinned, clearly pleased with what he just heard. “You don’t need to. You’re already too beautiful for someone like me.”
You rolled your eyes, not buying it. “You clearly don’t understand just how beautiful you are, Park Sunghoon.”
He kissed you again, and you had to squirm out of his hold and walk out of the room first or you’d spend the whole morning locked in the bedroom with him.
The first thing you noticed when you reached the bottom of the stairs was the silence. The usual mayhem of children squealing and zooming around, adults chattering, holiday music in the background—it was all gone. Only the adults were there, standing rigidly, staring at the two of you.
Your stomach dropped. Something was wrong, you could feel it in your bones.
Sunghoon stepped closer, taking your hand in his. “What’s going on?”
No one answered. Then his mom stepped forward, her smile tight, eyes not quite meeting his. She shoved a piece of paper into his hands, and you immediately recognized your carefully constructed contract even before reading the words.
“What is the meaning of that?” his mom asked, her voice small and hesitant. “Hoon, tell us right now. Why is there a document like that in your bedroom?”
The words didn’t register at first. The paper in his hands felt heavy, like it had gravity all its own. You tried to breathe but your chest felt hollow.
Sunghoon opened his mouth, searching for the right words, and your heart hammered in sympathy and panic. “We… I can explain…”
Voices erupted around you, overlapping, frantic and sharp. Someone asked why he did this. Another said this was unnecessary and that he didn’t have to deceive everyone. One voice asked if he had any motive. Another asked if he thought of this family as a joke.
You barely made sense of it, caught between the tidal wave of accusations, most of them being directed at Sunghoon. He kept his hand around yours, holding you tight and shielding you with his body as his family demanded answers from him. The rest of the room seemed to tilt and spin. You barely heard him try to speak again; his words were drowned out by questions, accusations, demands—all of it directed at him.
Finally, you found your voice, loud and firm, “It’s my fault.”
All eyes turned toward you, stunned at your words. You took in their confused faces, then exhaled sharply.
“I made him do this,” you added, tugging your hand away from Sunghoon’s grasp. “There was a… a situation,” you began to explain, choosing your words carefully.
“A supposedly one-off situation that unexpectedly spiraled out of control. And I know, we could have avoided this by being honest from the get-go but…” Your gaze swept the room and settled on your grandma in the corner. You thought she’d look angry, but all you could see on her face was sympathy. “But we didn’t. We couldn’t.”
You flattened your lips into a smile, still directed at your grandmother. “Not when it was the first time in a long time that I saw someone smile as brightly as she did when she heard I had a fiancee.”
Your Grandma’s hand flew to her mouth, his brows furrowing, and she looked away. You turned to the rest of Sunghoon’s family. To his Nana, to his parents, his aunts and uncles—the very people who welcomed you warmly into their home.
“I’m sorry. I really am. I have my reasons, but they’re all just excuses. Selfish excuses. I shouldn’t have dragged your entire family into this. I wouldn’t have,” you paused, taking a deep breath and turning to Sunghoon. “I wouldn’t have if I had known just how much you loved Sunghoon.”
You turned to everyone again. Nana’s hand was on her chest, Sunghoon’s mom was covering her mouth in shock.
“So don’t blame him. It’s not his fault. He’s a really good man,” you added, smiling bitterly. “He just couldn’t say no to his Medusa of a boss who promised him a raise and regularization if he agreed to do this.”
“Stop,” Sunghoon said, taking your hand. “I didn’t agree to this because of that—”
“It’s okay, Secretary Park,” you interrupted, forcing a smile. “I’m sorry for ruining your Christmas. I’ll leave,” you said, voice steady despite the tremor in your chest. You glanced at Nana, and the words escaped almost like a prayer: “You have a wonderful family. I’m sorry. I wish we didn’t have to meet like this.”
And with that, you walked out, leaving Sunghoon rooted in place, the paper still in his hand, the room swirling with stunned silence.
Before you knew it, you were sinking into your seat on the plane, the engines vibrating softly beneath you. Beside you, your grandma was perfectly composed, her hands folded neatly in her lap as she stared out the window at the receding tarmac.
Sunghoon’s family had tried to make you stay. Gentle pleas, promises to table the matter of your deceit and unpack it properly. But you knew they were only being polite. That was just the kind of family they were, too nice for their own good.
You stared at the screen in front of you, counting the buttons, the logos stamped into the leather, your thoughts spinning in circles. Finally, you broke the quiet.
“Grandma…” Your voice was small, tentative. “Why aren’t you mad?”
Her calm eyes met yours. “Why would I be mad?” she asked, tilting her head slightly, a faint smirk tugging at her lips. “I knew everything from the beginning.”
Your chest tightened. “You did?”
She nodded serenely. “Of course. You thought you were so clever, but you forgot that I taught you how to use that intelligent brain of yours.”
You blinked. “Wait… what? How?”
Grandma leaned back, unbothered by your wide-eyed stare. “My dear, with whom do you think I set you up with on that last blind date I begged you to go to?”
Your stomach dropped. “That… that was… No way.” You chuckled, in denial. “It can’t have been Sunghoon.”
“Oh, but it was,” she said, as if it were the simplest, most obvious thing in the world. “I kept telling you I knew his family. But you wouldn’t even give a second to hear me out. Imagine my surprise when I saw you in that hotel lobby, calling Park Sunghoon your fiancee.”
At this point, your heart beat has turned erratic. “If you knew, why didn’t you say anything?”
“I was trying to see how far you were willing to take this charade. I can’t say I’m not disappointed, but Sunghoon asked me to play along, so I did,” she explained.
You turned sharply to face her, incredulous. “Sunghoon knew that you knew?”
“Yes. He was confident he could make you fall in love and turn this pseudorelationship into a real thing. Sunhee and I had so much fun watching you struggle to maintain a face all week.”
Your jaw dropped. “Who else knows?”
“No one else, as far as I know.” Her hand rested gently over yours. “My dear, you’re clearly overwhelmed right now. Let’s talk about this later.”
You slumped back in your seat, staring out the window at the clouds streaked with gold from the rising sun, your mind buzzing. She knew. Nana knew. Sunghoon knew they knew. And somehow, that knowledge made the entire avalanche of the past twenty-four hours feel both heavier and… a little lighter.
“What are you gonna do now, child?” your grandma asked, and honestly? You have no idea.
Sunghoon first met you when he was ten.
It was summer, hot and loud and bright in the way summers only feel when you’re a kid. His kite had gotten stuck in a tree at the park, and he’d decided that climbing it himself was a good idea.
But he was wrong. He slipped on the way down, scraped his knee, and sat there sniffing quietly, holding back his tears, more embarrassed than hurt.
Then you appeared out of nowhere, crouched in front of him, asked if he could stand, and when he said no, you sighed like an adult who’d already dealt with worse problems than a bleeding knee.
After covering his knee with a cartoon Band Aid from your purse, you climbed the tree yourself and brought the kite down like it was nothing.
You were taller than him back then. Probably smarter, and more mature. And when you handed the kite to him and smiled, all he could think was that you were pretty. Like an angel.
He never saw you again after that day. Life moved on, as it does. He went to school, made friends, and had growth spurts. The memory of you drifted to the back of his mind, filed away with other half-remembered moments from childhood.
Until college.
He didn’t recognize you at first. Years had a way of blurring faces, and he almost walked past you at the freshman welcome party until you laughed. Suddenly he was ten again, at the park with a scraped knee and a kite in his hands.
You’d grown prettier, smarter, and more graceful. He was much much taller than you now, but the difference in height only made Sunghoon think you were cute.
He hadn’t even wanted to attend this party. He’d only gone because his cousin promised to cover his chores for a month if he showed up. Sunghoon wasn’t naïve—he knew his cousin wanted him there as decoration. He’d grown into his looks by then, and he was ‘handsome’, something people never let him forget, even when he wished they would.
But that night, for the first time in his life, he thought maybe he could use his looks for something other than being stared at. Maybe he could use it to charm his way into your contacts.
He planned to talk to you. Just to say ‘hi’. Maybe ask if you remembered him from all those summers ago. Or maybe he didn’t need to bring up the past at all. He could just talk to you. Say something normal. Ask for your number.
He stood near the drinks table, psyching himself up. But when the moment came, his nerves got the better of him. So he took a shot of soju.
Liquid courage, he told himself.
Then another. Then a third, because his heart was still beating too fast and you were laughing again and seeing that was making it hard for him to breathe.
By the fourth, his cousin was asking if he was okay. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, eyes locked on you a few tables away.
His cousin poured a shot for himself, and Sunghoon snatched it away, downing it straight just to see if it would make him less nervous.
Before he knew it, he was already wasted, slumped over a table, cheek pressed to cold plastic. Someone had drawn something obscene on his hand. The party was over, and you were gone.
He lay there for a long moment, staring at a bottle, wondering how he’d managed to mess it up without ever actually trying.
After that, he saw you everywhere. The library, the quad, the cafeteria line. Sometimes alone, sometimes surrounded by people. You never noticed him, and he never pushed himself into your space.
Then one afternoon, he saw you holding hands with someone. Apparently, you’d started seeing this guy from the Liberal Arts department. That night, he went back to his dorm, shut the door, lay on his bed, and stared at the ceiling.
His cousin glanced over. “What’s up with you? You look like you just got dumped”
“I might as well have been,” Sunghoon said, voice flat. He turned his face into his pillow and let himself feel stupid for exactly five minutes.
Then he moved on because that was just life. He was happy that you were happy.
He dipped his own toes in the dating pool. Dated seriously, even. He laughed, fell in and out of love, learned what he liked and didn’t. You became a fond thought in the back of his head, not a fixation. And also something his friends teased him about every now and then.
Then senior year came. He heard you’d broken up, and realized he still liked you. So he thought about trying again.
He did the same thing without realizing: took shots for liquid courage. One too many shots, obviously. And passed out on a couch before he could say your name, obviously.
Senior year came and went. Graduation followed. He figured that was that. Some people were just meant to be memories.
And his life after college had already been mapped out for him. Sunghoon worked long hours in his family’s corporation. He learned how to sit through meetings without showing boredom, how to be sharp without being cruel. He dated when he had time, stopped when he didn’t. He built a reputation he hadn’t asked for but carried well enough.
Every once in a while, your name surfaced not from memory, but from screens. LinkedIn updates. A promotion. An article shared by someone else. Your company’s name appeared frequently in industry chatter. You weren’t loud online. You had Instagram but didn’t post much.
He nodded at those updates like they were news about someone he once knew well.
Years later, when he heard about a potential partnership with your company, he volunteered to handle it without hesitation. It wasn’t even his division, but he argued his case until he won.
He told everyone else that it was professional curiosity. Strategic interest. Nothing else. In reality, he thought maybe this would finally put him in the same room as you again.
But it didn’t. Nana collapsed. That family emergency pulled him away the day of the meeting, and the opportunity slipped through his fingers. Life, once again, had other plans. He never made it to the meeting. Someone else took over. The partnership went through anyway, handled efficiently, just not by him.
You stayed untouchable and unseen. And of course, he moved on again.
Years passed. Nana recovered and became sharper than ever. She mentioned your name casually over tea.
“Her grandma’s worried,” she said. “She thinks that brilliant granddaughter of hers works too much. She called, asking if I knew someone suitable.”
“Someone suitable? A husband?” Sunghoon’s mom asked.
He froze in his seat, hand hovering as he reached for his teacup.
“Yes,” Nana continued, watching him carefully over the rim of her cup. “I told her I might know someone, but I don’t approve of arranged marriages.”
Sunghoon’s mom glanced at him too, the only man in the family who hasn’t married yet. “It would be nice. I heard she’s very intelligent and pretty. But I’m a fan of true love too, mama. These days they call it ‘organic encounter’.”
That night, Sunghoon stared at his ceiling for a long time and made a decision.
He left his job, much to his family’s dismay. They managed to reel him in with his contract, but as soon as that was over, Sunghoon was out. He moved cities. Applied to your company hoping he’d get closer to you through work. But te only position open was an internship. He took it anyway.
It was a humbling position. Educational. Occasionally ridiculous, and nowhere near you. Apparently interns didn’t meet CEOs on the reg.
So for months, you were just a name, a presence on another floor. Interns and other employees often talked about you—brilliant, dedicated, but formidable and terrifying. Medusa, they called you.
Sunghoon would find himself standing up for you against men in his department who uttered inappropriate comments. Especially those who questioned your right to sit in the CEO’s office.
And then one Tuesday morning, Sunghoon was at the reception desk, sorting documents he wasn’t technically supposed to touch yet, when the elevators chimed.
He didn’t look up. He didn’t really need to. But then he heard a familiar voice calling him by name.
“Park Sunghoon?” the voice repeated, making him look up and freeze.
Your grandmother stood at the front desk, elegant as always. She looked exactly the way Sunghoon remembered her from childhood. She leaned on her cane more out of habit than necessity, eyes sharp as they swept his face. “Is that you, dear boy?”
Sunghoon straightened instinctively, unsure why his heart had started beating faster. He swallowed. “Yes, ma’am.”
A pleased smile spread across her face. “Well,” she said lightly, tapping her cane against the floor once. “I thought so.
My, how much you’re grown.”
His mouth went dry. “You remember me?”
She laughed softly. “Of course I do. What are you doing here? Last I heard you were Executive Director at your family’s company.”
Sunghoon hesitated. Then he sighed, knowing full well how hard it was gonna be to lie to your grandma. “I think we’re gonna need to sit down if I’m to answer that question.”
Your Grandma seemed to understand something. “Come to tea this Sunday. Let’s unpack whatever that is.”
And Sunghoon did meet with your grandma that Sunday. And he confessed that he was there because of you. After hours of talking about you, your grandma decided to set him up on a blind date with you.
To say he was thrilled was an understatement. Sunghoon was over the moon. He couldn’t wait for the day to come. Though Grandma did warn him that she had a habit of not showing up to these dates. He was still looking forward to it, hoping your grandma stayed true to her words when she said she would try to convince you.
Then Becca came by the intern lounge, asking if anyone wanted to be your temporary secretary while she was on maternity leave.
“For Medusa?” someone murmured quietly. Silence followed, and interns exchanged nervous glances. Sunghoon was the only one who raised his hand.
Becca stared at him. “I need to know if you’re serious about this.”
“Yes.”
“You’re gonna be paid a regular’s rate, but it’s not gonna be an easy task.”
“I know. I can handle it.”
She sighed. “Fine. No backing out at the last minute, alright?” she said, pointing her pen at him. “Follow me. Training starts now.”
Sunghoon trained for a week, learning schedules and systems, familiarizing himself with important names and contacts, copying the cadence of your emails. All this while stealing glances into your office, or staring a little too long whenever you passed by.
He reminded himself to be normal. To not let the past—or the crush—color the present. Even though it had clearly already taken over his entire world.
And then came the day Sunghoon was finally getting introduced to you. Becca had given him the head’s up the day before, and he took an extra hour getting ready the next day.
He stood with Becca in your office, patiently waiting for you to walk into those heavy glass doors. When you did, Sunghoon straightened up. Luckily that time, he didn’t get drunk or pass out anymore. Everything after that was an experience Sunghoon would never forget.
And now, over a month later, there he was, standing just inside your office, asking you to take him back.
It was the 29th. Just two days before New Year’s Day and four days since the whole fiasco at the Park Estate. Grandma and Nana had invited you out on a brunch where you apologized—more than once. For the lies. For leaving. For ruining Christmas.
Nana waved it all off with a soft laugh, insisting none of it mattered as much as you thought it did. “We’ve seen worse.”
She said the family wasn’t really angry, just shocked. Said that if you’d stayed, things wou;d’ve been resolved over breakfast and hot cocoa, the way they always did.
“What’s done is done,” your grandma had said simply, stirring her coffee. “At least you learned a lesson from this experience.”
You didn’t bring up Sunghoon. You couldn’t, not after how vague things were left between you. The grandmas seemed to understand that the subject was touchy and decided not to bring it up either.
After brunch, you told them you had something for Nana—and for everyone back home. It had arrived at the office that morning, and that was how the three of you ended up there instead of going straight home.You drove back to the office with the city humming around you, hands steady on the wheel despite everything sitting heavy in your chest.
They followed you into the building where employees greeted your grandma at every turn, surprised to see THE big boss parading the halls. You heard Nana quip about your grandma building an empire through inflicting fear upon her people, and laughed along when they did.
But that laughter died down the moment you stepped out of the elevator and found Park Sunghoon standing near reception, hands clasped loosely in front of him, jacket still on like he hadn’t been sure whether to stay or leave. He looked up the moment the elevator opened, like he’d been waiting for it.
For a second, no one moved. Your brows furrowed, relief and confusion washing over you. Relief because four days felt too long and you’d missed him the whole time. Confusion because what was he doing there? And why did he wait until now to come see you?
“What are you doing here?” you finally asked.
He picked up a clear bag from the floor and lifted it for you to see. “You didn’t get to see what I got you,” he said and your eyes locked on the red giftbox with a green ribbon inside the clear bag.
Your grandma squeezed your arm gently. “We’ll give you two a moment.”
Nana was already nodding, amused. “Yes. Let’s let the kids sort it out.”
You didn’t protest, letting them walk back into the elevator, muttering and giggling. The office fell quiet. You and Sunghoon were staring at each other while the rest of the people on that floor held their breath. You could feel their eyes, watching and waiting for whatever was about to go down.
You exhaled and started walking toward your office. Sunghoon followed silently behind. You didn’t say anything until you were inside your office, the door clicking shut behind you. It was quieter here, insulated from the rest of the floor.
You turned to face him. “My grandma told me something about you,” you said, not elaborating because he probably already knows what you mean. “Is it true?
“It is,” he answered quickly.
You let out a slow breath. “So you liked me even before I asked you to be my fake fiancee?”
A small smile tugged at his mouth. “Oh, I liked you longer than that.”
Your heart stuttered, just before beating wildly in your chest.
“When we were kids, when we were in college… I liked you in different ways, at different stages of my life.” He met your eyes fully. “And now… Now I’m in love with you.”
You kept your voice steady, hands clenching at your sides as you tried your best not to just go ahead and jump in his arms. “Why didn’t you come see me sooner?”
“I tried, but I didn’t really get a chance. You were in a relationship with this dude in college—”
“No, I meant after we left the island on Christmas day,” you interrupted.
Sunghoon paused, realization dawning on him. “Oh. Oh, I wanted to,” he said. “But no one was allowed to leave the island until the holidays were over. That’s not negotiable in my family. And I needed to sort things out. With them. With myself. I didn’t want to come to you half-done.”
You laughed under your breath. “Do you always have to do things properly?”
He shrugged. “I wanted to do this one right.”
Silence fell between you. You crossed your arms, still unsure what to do, how to navigate this. “I’m sorry,” you said first, because you had to. He deserved it. “For leaving like that. For not letting you say anything.”
He shook his head. “I would’ve followed you anyway.”
“So?” you asked, heat creeping up your neck. “What now?”
Sunghoon took one tentative step closer. “Well, my new year’s resolution is to kiss you everyday for the rest of my life.”
You huffed a laugh, caught off guard. “That’s a… very specific commitment.”
“I’m very committed to it.”
You laughed despite yourself, and Sunghoon watched with a fond smile, just before silence came again. You were both standing at the edge of something you didn’t want to rush or ruin.
“Well?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. “Are you just gonna stand there all day or do I have to kiss you myself?”
Sunghoon’s mouth stretched into the biggest, happiest smile you’d ever seen on a man. He crossed the distance between you in one step, then wrapped his arms around you. You hugged him back just as tightly, instinctively, like it was something your body had been waiting for longer than your mind wanted to admit.
Then he kissed you. A kiss that answered everything, one that didn’t ask questions anymore. For a moment, the world narrowed down to just the two of you. But only for a moment because three seconds later, the sound of clapping, cheers, and hooting erupted around the office.
Startled, you pulled back just enough to see past his shoulder and realized that the entire floor had been watching from outside the clear glass walls of your office.
“Oh my god,” you exclaimed, looking at Sunghoon and then laughing. “Do you think they heard you confess your love for me?” you teased.
Sunghoon glanced around, then back at you, utterly unbothered. “I don’t care,” he said, scooping you up and kissing you again.
The office erupted all over again, a whole floor of employees witnessing the day you and Sunghoon made a scene professing love like you were in a movie.
⭑.ᐟ A rainy Highschool reunion trip with Exes Med Student!Y/N and Lawyer!Sunghoon
You knew Sunghoon would be there. Of course he would be. You had made your peace with it. You’re friends now, kind of. It’s fine. Really. Seeing him at your Highschool reunion was kind of a given. That you agreeded going onto a trip with your friends, including him, later that year, however surprised yourself.
Sunghoon can somehow still read you like an open book. Of course he could. He was the person you once planned to marry...until life got in the way. You buried yourself in work, in reaching your goals. Between helping out with Jay's toddler, pretending you're not running on empty, and trying to avoid old feelings during the trip , you start to realize something: Somewhere along the way, you stopped living the life you actually wanted. And maybe, just maybe, there’s still time to fix it.
⋆。◛ ⊹ ⤳ requested ・:*:・。☆
ᝰ genre. exes to lovers, fluff, angst (just a tiny bit tho) and loads of yearning, heavily inspired by the kdrama 'Love Next Door' ᐟ₊ ⊹
ᝰ warning. stress at work and uni , mention of burnout, insomnia, mentions of death, Y/N is lowkey unhappy with some life choices she made .ᐟ₊ ⊹
ᝰ word count. 31.5 k .ᐟ₊ ⊹
“Y/N. You have to come”, Yunjin whined into the phone loud enough for you to lower the volume of your phone with your free hand.
“I don’t know Yu”, the emart you were in was fuller than you expected it to be on a Thursday morning at 9 am. “I really don’t see the point in going. We are still in contact, aren’t we? All the people that I want to see, I do, and there are way too many I am glad to not see ever again.”
“Y/N that's the whole point! What about Chaehyun? Or Jake and Jay? Or, oh I don't know, Gaeul? You haven’t met up with her in months?”
You signed and walked towards the frozen section in the supermarket. Lately you didn’t really feel like cooking nor had the time to do so. Jaemin did cook sometimes but most of the time the two of you just got takeout or cooked ready to eat meals. Ramen was your top contender. You’ve tried probably every flavour on the market.
“I called her pretty recently? And I know I haven’t really caught up with the boys. Don’t you think it would be weird to be close to my exes best friends?”
“First of all you called Gaeul like two months ago, that's not recent,” Yujin huffed. “And I don't think it would be weird? We were all friends, even after the two of you broke up, remember?”
“I know. I just…”, you really didn’t know why the thought of meeting everyone made you feel so queasy, Yunjin was right, they were your friends, or at least close acquaintances. “I don’t know Yu, I feel like it would be weird. I mean I am really a shit friend. I don’t keep up with everyone's life and I never have much to talk about except work or uni right now. That's all my life is.”
“Oh, I know. I’ve never seen a worse texter than you, Y/N. But I don’t think the others would mind, they would probably all be excited to see you. It’s been a while and you really deserve a break Y/N. Even if it’s just one evening. Working yourself to the ground only to get your licence won’t make you graduate faster or a better doctor. I am worried you’re working yourself into a burnout”, she said softly.
You swallowed and stopped in front of the big freezers, looking at the rows after rows of frozen products. She was right. In the last few years your focus has fully been on your studies, your residency or your Board Certification Exam and you didn’t have much time or mental space for other things. Right now work took up most of your awake hours, but somehow it was really fulfilling. Most of the time at least. You loved being a doctor, a gynecologist to be exact. You loved your job, helping people, healing people, bringing new life to the world. Of course there were the shadow sides like the almost 100 hour work week or the days you lose patients. Losing a life is never easy, and would never get easier. You hated shifts in the NICU.
“I know. I know.”, you sighed again. “Look Yu, I’ll see what I can do. Maybe someone can switch shift with me, don’t get your hopes too high tho.”
“Yes! I knew I could convince you! You absolutely will be there!”, Yunjin cheered loudly again.
“I just said don’t get your hopes up?”, you shook your head and threw three packets of frozen vegetable mixes into your basket.
“Nah uh! You’ll come. I’ll personally call the hospital to ask them to give you that day off, I swear.”
You chuckled, “Please do. I would love to see that happen.”
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You stood in your old room at your parents house, looking at yourself in the mirror. You looked so different to the girl you were 10 years ago when you graduated high school. Your face looked pale in the reflection and your eyes lost the spark they once had. In the pictures glued to your mirror they were so full of life, of ambition. You were so excited for the future that was to come, not fully realizing that the path you choose to take will be harder than you and anyone else back then could have imagined. Nonetheless, you were proud of yourself and still excited to do what you do. You just wanted to finally be done studying, work in an office outside the hospital until you had enough to open your own, give care to mothers and young girls and whoever else has to go to a Gyno. The way to get there would be hard but so worth it. It was your dream after all.
You opened your bag and fished for your makeup pouch, applying generous amounts all over your face. The blush you stole from your mother gave you a bit of color back.
You were staying at your parents house, since it was a lot closer to the event location where the 10 year reunion was taking place. It was weird to sleep in your childhood bedroom. Not much has changed in the last 10 years here. Your parents had enough rooms in the house to not really have a purpose for your room anymore. So they just left it be. All your pictures and trinkets in the places you left them. It was like walking into a different world.
The picture of Sunghoon and you at your high school graduation that was glued to your mirror was fading in the sunlight, the colors slowly losing their vibrance. You reached up and straightened the corners, where the paper lifted from the tape and smiled. Sunghoon was really handsome back then. The way he looked at you instead of the camera made you feel so bittersweet. You always thought he would be the one you would marry, that you would have your first and only love for ever. But life was weird sometimes and it didn’t work out. With the breakup and your life at uni getting more stressful you never really had much time for anyone but yourself and your friends maybe. Dating wasn’t really on your mind for a long time after you’ve overcome the heartbreak. You hoped he did. That today he would come to the reunion telling you about his wife, his kids, how great his life was. He deserved nothing more.
You sighed when the paper curled into itself again and turned around to get dressed. You and Jaemin, and Jeno, who had no choice, spent almost an hour trying to figure out what you should wear and the final verdict was a black pair of dress pants, the only pair of heels you owned for occasions like this, and a red wrap around top with rather delicate silver jewelry. You loved living with Jaemin, it was a lot of fun. The two of you met on your first day of uni and have been inseparable since then. When you and Sunghoon decided to end your relationship he immediately suggested moving together. He was living in the student dorm and was sick of it.
So for the last almost 3 years now, you and Jaemin have been living in a rather beautiful apartment near the Seoul National Hospital. Last year he decided to adopt 3 cats, so now there was almost always a bit of chaos in your home. He got together with Jeno, a student, well back then a student a semester higher than the two of you almost 3 years ago now. They were super cute together, but Jeno decided to do his residency in Gangwon hospital, which meant the two of them didn’t really get to move together until Jeno is done and hopefully gets a job in Seoul.
“Y/N?”, your mother startled you out of your thoughts, “Are you ready yet darling? If you want to be on time we have to go now.”
“Oh”, you turned around and looked at your mother, who was standing in the doorway to your room. She herself was attending a dinner with her colleague and an important client from overseas and offered to take you with her. She was styled impeccable, her gray hair in a strict bun and she was wearing a stunning one piece. You could gladly say you inherited her beauty and grace and annoyingly her work ethic.
„I‘m done, mom.“, you nodded and grabbed your purse.
„Oh look how pretty you look!“, your mom rubbed her hands up and down your arms when you passed her in the doorway. „My beautiful beautiful daughter. Let’s hurry! I don’t want you to be late!“
She ushered you towards the entryway, where both of you changed from slippers into your heels.
────────────────────────
The restaurant that was picked out for the reunion was an expensive looking one. The tables were all covered in thick white cloth, decked with wine glasses and multiple plates. Classical music was gently playing in the background when you made your way inside. The place was already buzzing with laughter coming from various groups at the entrance to the main room, enjoying champagne and the small appetizers displayed on various high tables.
You spotted Yunjin pretty quickly. She was talking to Heeseung and Jay, laughing at something she said. You didn’t really keep in touch with either of them after you and Sunghoon broke up three years ago. You all did grow up together but you didn’t want to make it awkward for them by still meeting up with them. And you honestly just didn’t want to know how Sunghoon was doing and you know you would have asked. Which wouldn’t have helped you getting over him.
Heeseung spotted you first, waving at you and smiling in your direction. You gave him a small wave back and continued your way through the crowd.
“Y/N!” Chaehyun, who was standing a few feet next to them, lit up the moment she saw you, standing to hug you tight. “You look so good! You cut your hair!”
“Oh. Yeah. A few months ago,” you mumbled, glancing at your hair.
“It looks fantastic, right? Do you know how long I had to endure her going back and forth about cutting it? Horrible!”, Yunjin whined and wrapped her arms around yours.
“I wanted to cut enough to donate it, but it wasn’t long enough, but I also desperately wanted to get rid of the hair”, you grumbled and shoved her away gently.
“Did you have enough to donate in the end?”, Chaehyun asked and passed you a flute of champagne from the table you were standing around.
“Yeah. I cut around 25 cm off.”
“Oh shit thats a lot”, Jake whistled and threw his arm around your shoulder, “Hi Y/N.”
“Hi Jake”, you laughed and boxed him into his side to get off you. You and Jake were going back to kindergarten days. Together with Sunghoon you attended kindergarten and elementary school until Jake went to Australia for a few years. The three of you were inseparable up until you and Sunghoon ended things.
“My mom told me you're almost done with your residency, will we be calling you Dr. Y/L/N soon?”, he asked and stole the flute out of your hand.
You took a deep breath in, “I already am Dr. Y/L/N if I might correct you. I’m done with my residency in a few months and then I have to study for the board certification exam. So some time next year I’ll be done with everything, yeah.”
Just the thought of having to study for that exam made you want to curl into a corner and cry. The amount of stress that came with that exam and working at the same time was nothing anyone looked forward to.
“It’s so crazy you are pulling this through. You’ve got my deepest respect for that, Y/N.”, Jake tutted and shook his head.
“I’ve always wanted to be a doctor”, you shrugged and smiled at him.
“Everyone!”, Daewhi, your former class president, was standing on a stage further into the event location, “It’s lovely to see you all. Please take a seat, as we would like to start with ordering food. You’ll have enough time to mingle later on.”
“Let’s go,” Jake pulled you with him toward one of the tables in the middle of the room, where your friends were already walking towards.
You settled down next to Jake and smiled at Ningning, who was seated opposite of you.
“I can’t believe it’s been ten years since we graduated,” Yujin said, glancing around. “When was the last time we were all together?”
Jay answered without looking up. “The funeral.”
Ah. Right. You averted your gaze to look at your hands.
“Yeah,” she murmured. “That wasn’t exactly the best time to catch up.”
A suspicious looking ring on Ningning's ring finger caught your attention. But before saying anything you let your gaze wander towards Heeseung's hand. He was also wearing a suspicious looking ring. You weren't sure if you just missed it, or if they just didn’t tell you they got engaged, but your heart dropped a bit.
“Hey Jake,” you lowered your voice, to not raise suspicion if you just simply haven’t been told, “did Hee and Ningning get engaged?”
His head snapped into your direction and then towards the couple, “What?”
“Look at the rings,” you said, having trouble suppressing your smile. Apparently they didn’t tell anyone.
“Heeseung what the fuck? You got engaged?”, Jake said excitedly.
Heeseung looked up mid-sip of water, blinking like a deer caught in headlights. “Huh?”.
“You are wearing a ring!” Yujin leaned in from the other side, eyes wide. “Wait, are you serious?!”
Heeseung scratched the back of his neck, the tips of his ears turning red. “Well... yeah. We wanted to tell you all tonight.”
“You got engaged and didn’t tell me?” Jay looked personally offended.
“We wanted to tell everyone at the same time,” Ningning said quickly. “We only told our parents. It’s been, like, three days.”
The table erupted in noise, demanding details.
You couldn’t help the small laugh that bubbled up. You felt pure relief, knowing that you weren’t the only one who didn’t know. You were never really close with Heeseung and Ningning joined your friendgroup a year after you graduated Highschool, when she and Heeseung got together, so you weren’t as offended as the rest.
“Okay, but where did he propose?” Yujin was practically bouncing in her seat.
“Yeah, Hee, if it wasn’t romantic I’m gonna be mad,” Jake added with mock severity.
Heeseung shot Ningning a sheepish smile before answering. “Her apartment. I brought flowers, cooked dinner, and then... just kind of asked.”
Jay snorted. “Classic. That’s the most Heeseung thing I’ve ever heard.”
“It was perfect,” Ningning said softly, and the way she looked at him made your chest ache just a little.
You smiled again, this time more to yourself, and leaned back in your chair. The second you glanced away from your friends you noticed a very familiar figure making its way towards your table.
Sunghoon looked immaculate.
He was wearing a navy suit, with his hair styled neatly and a bag slung over his shoulder. Your eyes met for a second and he gave you a small smile. You returned it almost automatically and then looked back at Ningning who was talking about her parents' reactions, but you weren’t really listening.
He made his way over, greeting Jake with a handshake and Yunjin with a hug, then slid into the empty seat next to you without hesitation.
“Sorry I’m late,” he said lightly, reaching for a glass of water. “Client wouldn’t stop talking.”
“Do they ever?” Heeseung offered.
Sunghoon laughed, low and tired. “I don’t mind as long as they keep on paying.”
He was immediately informed about the engagement and his eyes lit up excited as he started asking the same questions the couple already answered.
You had to almost physically fight the urge to stare at Sunghoon. The last time you saw him was at Jay’s girlfriend's funeral a few months after your break up.
A few minutes of excited chatting later, the waiter brought the menus. The whole table quieted down for a few minutes while everyone was deciding on what to eat.
You were flipping back and forth not sure what you wanted to eat when Sunghoon leaned a little closer.
“Take the fish,” he said quietly. “You’ll like it.”
You glanced at him, surprised. “The fish?”
“I’ve been here before. It’s good. Not too heavy either. You’ll like it.”
You gave a small nod, lips twitching. “You always did like telling me what to eat.”
“You always needed help deciding,” he replied easily, looking at his menu again.
A moment passed before he gently closed it and turned towards you again.
“So…” he said, “how’s work? Are you still at SN?”
You nodded. “Yeah. I didn’t think changing hospital would have changed my workload after all.”
“Do you still like it?” he asked with a small hum.
You hesitated. Your residence was one of the main reasons why you and Sunghoon broke up. It felt like a touchy topic. “Most days, yes. Some days are just hard. But every job is like that, right?”
“Mhm. That’s true”, he turned aback towards the table, reaching for the wine card. “Are you still living with Jaemin?”
“Yeah.”, you nodded. “He adopted three cats a few months ago.”
He laughed, eyes flicking back to you. “Three?”
“Yep. And of course, Kai’s allergic, so I have to deep clean everything whenever he visits.”
That made Sunghoon pause, his brow ticking up slightly. “Kai?”
“Yeah, you probably remember him. Tall, really soft-spoken, kinda chaotic. We study together sometimes.”, you shrugged.
Sunghoon didn’t say anything right away. Just nodded a little.
You tapped the edge of your napkin and glanced sideways. “So… how have you been? With work and everything.”
Sunghoon leaned back slightly in his chair, resting an arm casually along the back of yours. “It’s been good. I made partner this year.”
You blinked. “Already?”
He gave a small smile. “Yeah. I mean, it’s brutal hours, constant travel, and my phone might actually be fused to my hand now, but… I like it. Most days.”
You nodded slowly. “That’s… impressive.”
There was something oddly comforting about that echo of your own answer.
“You started studying for the board already?”, he tilted his head a little toward you.
You blinked. “Yeah. I mean yes, I am. How did you…?”
“My mom,” he said with a small grin, not even pretending to be subtle. “She keeps me updated. Involuntarily.”
“Oh.” You paused, a little surprised. “Right.”
Your mother and his mother were close friends. You forbade your parents to talk about Sunghoon and they have never said anything about him to you. Your mother surely knew he was a partner, with how much his mother flexed with her golden son.
“She said you basically live in the hospital.”
You huffed a soft laugh. “Oh lord. That comes from my mom. But yeah, she is kinda right. But, what can I say, night shifts pay better.”
“Didn’t think she was wrong,” he said, glancing sideways. “After all, these ladies are the heart of the gossip mill in our neighborhood.”
“That is right.”, you nodded slightly.
The waiter came and took your orders, interrupting your conversation.
You ordered the fish.
Once the waiter stepped away, Sunghoon leaned in slightly, fingers idly tracing the stem of his champagne flute.
“And your parents?” he asked. “Still working?”
You smiled a little. “Yeah. My mom’s been talking about retiring for three years now, but we both know she’d go crazy without it. She seriously has to find a hobby. My dad is still working in the hospital but not as chief physician anymore. He said he was too old for that amount off stress.”
Sunghoon laughed quietly. “Sounds about right.”
You glanced down at your hands. “I try to visit when I can or go on holidays with them, but it’s... not often. Last time I came down with a fever halfway through and spent most of the weekend in bed. My mom still complains about not having someone who actually takes good pictures around in Venice."
“Didn’t know med students were allowed to get sick.”
“We’re not. It’s humiliating,” you deadpanned, and he laughed again.
You let yourself look at him, really look. His hair was a little longer than you remembered, styled neatly. There was a soft crease between his brows you hadn’t noticed when he first walked in. Tiredness, maybe"
“Do you still live around Gangnam?” you asked. “Or did you move for work?”
“I moved.” He hesitated. “Actually, I moved back in with my parents. Just a couple months ago.”
You blinked. “Didn’t your sister move back in as well?"
“She did,” he said, then glanced down at his watch for a beat too long. “She and her husband divorced last year. But she’s back in Busan now.”
“Oh.” You paused, not sure what to say. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
Sunghoon never really liked his brother-in-law, claiming he wasn’t good for his baby sister. They fought really hard when she told him she would marry him. SUnghoon and Yeji didn’t talk for months afterwards and he was devastated by it.
He shrugged lightly, but didn’t meet your eyes. “It’s alright. She’s doing better now.”
There was a small silence.
“Why did you move back?”, you asked softly.
He tilted his head slightly. “Mhm. I was living with my girlfriend. For about a year. We broke up in the spring and I moved into her apartment when we got together.”
You felt a soft pang in your heart. As much as you wished for him to be happy, to have found love, it hurt a bit to hear that he actually did, while you were distracting yourself with work instead of tackling your feelings. “Oh. I’m sorry, Sunghoon.”
“It’s fine. I am over her, she was nice but…it just… wasn’t working. I was always gone. And when I wasn’t, I wasn’t really there, you know?” He looked at you then, and you knew exactly what he meant. “We were both too tired to argue about it. It felt like a dejavu.” He chuckled softly at that and took a sip of his champagne.
A beat passed. “And you? Any boyfriends in sight?”
You glanced toward where Ningning was showing off her engagement ring to Yujin, her hands gesturing animatedly.
“Not really,” you said. “I thought about it. Dated here and there. But it’s hard when you fall asleep with your face on a chart at 2 a.m.”
“That does sound romantic,” he said dryly.
You grinned, a little ruefully. “I’m told I snore.”
“I can confirm.”
You laughed, eyes crinkling and slightly shoved him. “Hey! You snore way worse than I do.”
Before he could say anything else, the lights dimmed slightly and Daewhi stepped back onto the small stage at the front of the room.
“Alright everyone! Before the food comes out, we’d like to say a few words...”
You both turned toward the front, Sunghoon’s arm brushing yours lightly as he shifted in his seat.
As the speeches started, you leaned in a little, voice low.
“So… partner, huh? What are you working on currently?”
Sunghoon chuckled under his breath. “Right now? A cross-border IP case. A Korean company’s suing a European firm over design plagiarism, branding, packaging, whole lineup. My team’s handling compliance and preparing expert reports. It’s mostly just emails at 2 a.m. and arguing over clauses in licensing agreements.”
You blinked. “That sounds miserable.”
He shrugged with a half-smile. “It is. But weirdly satisfying. I kind of like picking apart their statements line by line, figuring out where they copied, what we can use."
You tilted your head. “You always did like arguing.”
“I prefer ‘debating.’ But yeah. The job’s a lot of drafting, negotiations, risk assessment. We do corporate governance stuff, too! Restructuring, audits, employee protection frameworks. Internal messes that execs don’t want to touch.”
He smiled, lifting his glass. “And you?”
You groaned. “Don’t even get me started.I honestly do too much in one day to summarize it all. Lots of rotation, many many crying babies and many many grandmas and grandpas that tell me I am doing my job wrong at 3 am when I just helped deliver their grandchild for like 4 hours.”
His eyes widened slightly. “You still don’t sleep much then?”
“Not unless it’s at a nurse’s station in an empty hallway,” you said, trying to laugh. “But yeah… third year’s a step up. More decision-making, more pressure. I scrub in way more now. Still supervised, but I’m technically managing my own cases.”
“Jesus.” He shook his head, then looked at you.
“Also,” you added, leaning back a little, “I have become frighteningly good at drawing blood. I could probably even handle a crybaby like Jake.”
Sunghoon gave a theatrical shudder. “Remind me to never pass out near you.”
You grinned. “Too late. I already have a target vein.”
He lifted his glass in a mock toast. “To poor life choices and me never fainting near you.”
You clinked it lightly. “And to knowing exactly what we signed up for.”
“You know…” He ran a finger along the stem of his glass after setting it down again. “I still think it’s kind of insane, what you do.”
You blinked at him, head tilting slightly. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, yeah, my job’s intense. But I don’t have people’s lives in my hands. No one's bleeding out during a client pitch,” he said, his tone light but eyes sincere.
That caught you off guard. You opened your mouth, but he was already continuing.
“And…” He paused for a second, rubbing the back of his neck before glancing back at you. “I never got to say it, but, thank you. For what you did for Jay. And you helped with Haneul after.”
Your fingers stilled on your napkin. “I just did my job.”
“Maybe,” Sunghoon said quietly, “but it was important. To him. And to her.”
You looked away for a moment, your throat tightening. “I still think about it sometimes. About whether I could’ve done more. Maybe she would have survived”
“There wasn’t more to do,” he said, firm. “You know that."
“I do,” you murmured. “But that doesn’t really make it easier.”
Silence settled briefly between you.
“Jay said you were really good at doing what you do,” Sunghoon added, his voice lower now. “And kind. That you didn’t panic.”
You huffed a small laugh. “That’s because I did the panicking in the locker room after.”
He smiled faintly at that. “Still.”
Sunghoon shifted slightly in his seat, reaching into his inner jacket pocket. “Wanna see pictures? Jay sends way too many, and I’m not strong enough to delete them.”
You gave a small laugh and nodded. “Yeah. I’d love to.”
He unlocked his phone, thumb moving swiftly through albums until he turned the screen toward you. “Here, this was last month. She dressed up as a tangerine for kindergarten.”
You leaned in, your smile slowly growing. “Oh my god… she’s huge already. And her hair’s gotten so long."
“Right?” He grinned, flicking to the next picture. “This one’s my favorite.”
You let out a soft laugh, one hand subconsciously lifting to your mouth. “Wow. She looks so much like her mom.”
Sunghoon’s smile faded just a little, more fond now. “Yeah.”
You were quiet for a second, watching his screen as he kept scrolling, birthday parties, park visits, messy dinner selfies. Her in a doctor costume, holding a stethoscope upside down.
“She’s really cute,” you said, smile tugging at your lips as Sunghoon tapped through another photo. “She looks like trouble.”
“She is,” Sunghoon said, clearly proud. “But only when she doesn’t get her strawberry milk.”
You gave a small laugh and leaned back a little.
You didn’t say much else, but something in your chest tightened. You were happy for them, you really were. For Jay. For Sunghoon. For this whole, messy, beautiful life they had grown into. You’d just forgotten how far away you’d placed yourself from it all. The waiter brought your drinks and before you even took a sip Sunghoon tsked next to you.
“No Coke Zero?” Sunghoon asked, tilting his head. “Who are you and what have you done with Y/N?”
Your rolled our eyes. “I had three cans this morning.”
“There she is.”
You scowled and hit hid foot under the table. “I had to stay awake. We had a five-hour surgery and the scrub nurse kept humming the same damn trot song.”
Sunghoon snorted into his drink. “Still addicted, I see.”
“You know what?” You raised a finger at him, fighting a smile. “If you mock my Coke Zero consumption one more time, I will curse you out.”
“Oh, have fun with that. I’ll probably enjoy it,” he said with mock gravity. “I’ve heard you curse. It’s like poetry. Angry, caffeine-fueled poetry.”
You leaned in, smiling sweetly. “Park Sunghoon.”
“Yes?”
“I hope your protein shaker leaks in your work bag.”
He gasped, hand to chest. “You take that back.”
“Never.”
“You’re still evil,” he muttered, shaking his head with a grin.
“And you’re still annoying,” you replied, sipping your water, resting, giving him your middle finger like you did when you were sixteen.
“I am actually not drinking too many protein shakes anymore. I’ve switched to actually eating healthy and protein rich meals.”, he said, sounding almost proudly.
Yunjin snickered from across the table. “Now you do. I clearly remember a time where the only thing you all ate was chicken, unseasoned chicken, and protein shakes.”
Jay groaned, slumping back in his chair. “Don’t remind me. I was protein-shaking my soul away for like six months straight.”
“Six months?” Jake snorted. “Heeseung tried to bulk for a year. He was eating boiled eggs between classes.”
Heeseung shrugged, totally unfazed. “And I looked great.”
“You also smelled like eggs,” Ningning added flatly, reaching for her water.
You were shaking your head, your head gesturing accusingly towards Sunghoon. “You were the worst of all of them. I swear to god, if you’d asked me to meal prep plain chicken breast one more time I would have used my anatomical knowledge for some illegal activities.”
He gave a sheepish grin. “I was trying to hit macros. And you yourself claimed to appreciate my biceps.”
“I still have nightmares about our air fryer,” you deadpanned. “There were weeks the entire apartment smelled like chicken and eggs.”
“You’re exaggerating,” Sunghoon said, nudging you gently with his elbow.
“I am not,” you insisted. “You once brought chicken breast to brunch with our parents cause you were afraid they wouldn’t prep anything with proteins in it.”
“You were unbearable,” you muttered, leaning back in your chair, arms crossed as you gave him a narrowed look.
Sunghoon didn’t even blink. “I was bulking.”
“You were insane,” you shot back. “Do you remember the protein powder in your coffee?”
“It tasted fine.”
“You mixed it with my expensive vanilla almond milk. And you made the entire kitchen smell like dirty socks.”
He grinned. “And yet you still ate my chicken.”
“Because I was too tired to cook my own, you menace”, you said flatly.
You took a sip of your water, the conversation around you dissolving into background noise as Sunghoon leaned a little closer, resting one arm on the back of your chair again.
“I still don’t get how you survived my meal prep,” he said casually, eyes flicking to yours.
You gave him a look. “Oh, I didn’t survive. I suffered.”
He grinned. “That dramatic streak of yours hasn’t changed, huh?"
“Park Sunghoon,” you warned, narrowing your eyes slightly, “I swear, if you say one more thing about me being dramatic, I will curse you out so thoroughly you’ll have flashbacks to every anatomy study session I ever made you suffer through.”
“Oh, jeez please not. I don’t think I would survive that. You were so mean.”
“I was under a lot of pressure!” you said, biting back a smile. “Do you know what it’s like to come home after a 28-hour shift just to find someone boiling chicken again at midnight?”
He leaned in slightly, eyes gleaming. “I said I’d do the dishes.”
“You never did the dishes.”
“I did them… eventually.”
“Exactly my point.”
He just smiled at you, warm and unhurried.
You exhaled, tipping your head slightly toward him. “Do you still eat like that? Like are you still obsessing over your calories and everything.”
“Sometimes,” he said. “But my mom doesn’t curse me out if I stink up the kitchen.”
You hummed. “Tragic. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
He smirked. “Ah you and your endless compassion.”
“Oh shut up,” you muttered, lips twitching. “I’m about to be compassionate all over your fancy suit.”
He laughed again, quieter this time, and nudged your knee under the table.
“Still so scary,” he murmured.
────────────────────────
Since the reunion, Sunghoon somehow slithered his way back into your life. You’ve seen him at least 3 times in the last month, which is more than the last three years. Probably due to the new outbound clinic you were transferred to being close to your parents house, which caused you, much to your parents delightment, to sleep at home. And considering Sunghoon is living just over the street, meeting him after work was somehow something that happened now.
Today though, you were prepared. You were standing in the kitchen of the venue your and Sunghoons mother rented out to celebrate their birthdays, cutting up a watermelon into bitesize pieces. Your mothers turned 60 last week, yours on Tuesday and his on Thursday and decided to celebrate together, renting out a small hall and inviting a ton of people. Sunghoon was currently carrying boxes of wine to put into the kitchen's cooler. Both of your mothers roped you in to help out preparing the celebration and who were you to say no.
“That’s the last one,” he said, breath short. “The cooler’s full now.”
You huffed a strand of hair out of your face.
“Good. We still need to plate the sandwiches, preslice the cake, move the drink station out front and deck the tables.”
He gave you a sidelong look. “Should we demand hourly payment for all of this?”
“We’re being paid in love, you dumbass.”
He chuckled, stepping around your dad and his, who were currently wrangling a caterer sized metal food warmer. It took both of them to maneuver it through the narrow doorway without crashing into the counter.
You leaned away instinctively to avoid the chaos, and Sunghoon did the same, which brought him just a bit closer to your side of the counter.
“Remind me why we agreed to this again?” he asked, settling beside you and propping one elbow against the metal surface.
“Because your mom is scary,” you muttered, fighting with the watermelon rind. “And because mine is lovely and we love helping her.”
“They could have asked our siblings to come earlier.”
You shot him a look. “Don’t act like you weren’t the one who volunteered to organize the drinks as if you didn't know it meant carrying twelve crates of wine.”
“I thought that was the easier job,” he said, rubbing his shoulder with a wince. “I didn’t want to get my hands dirty.”
Just as he said that a watermelon slice slipped in your hands, leaving a pink stain on your white shirt and arm, when you caught it out of reflex. You hissed and leaned over the sink to rinse off quickly.
“You know we have, like, an hour left for everything? Including changing, right?” Sunghoon said, tossing you a towel as you returned from the sink.
You caught it, half-heartedly drying your hands, looking at the watch hanging on the kitchen wall. “Fifty-five now.”
He groaned. “Perfect. I sweat like a pig carrying those wines inside. I still have to shower.”
You wrinkled your nose, pretending to lean closer. “You should. You kind of stink.”
“Thank you, Y/N. Such lovely compliments you give,” he deadpanned.
You grinned, just a little. A piece of your bun came loose and a strand of hair slipped forward again.
He reached out and brushed it gently behind your ear. His fingers warm against the skin on your cheek.
Sunghoon and you both froze.
His hand dropped the moment it registered what he’d done.
“Sorry–uh. Reflex,” he said quickly, stepping half a breath back.
You blinked, laughing awkwardly. “Yeah, well… I guess I give great compliments.”
You cleared your throat before he could say anything else.
“Anyway,” you said, turning slightly so he couldn’t read your face. “Let’s just carry the rest of the stuff out so we can go shower. Whatever we don’t finish, someone else can do.”
“Yeah. Okay,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.
Before either of you could move toward the trays, the kitchen door swung open.
“Sunghoon,” his mother snapped, stepping inside with her arms crossed. “Why are you standing around while poor Y/N is doing everything? You were supposed to be helping, not loitering.”
You blinked, startled, still holding the towel.
“Oh, no, no,” you said quickly, straightening up and pasting on your best polite smile, you reserved for his mom specifically. “He was just about to carry the platter outside, Aunty. I was making sure he didn’t grab the wrong one.”
Sunghoon blinked at you, seemingly caught off guard for a second. His mom narrowed her eyes.
“Well, don’t dawdle,” she muttered, brushing past him to hover over the nearest table. “We still have to set the cakes out.”
Sunghoon mouthed thank you as he picked up the platter.
You just winked at him and turned back to your watermelon.
────────────────────────
You locked your front door with your clutch tucked under one arm, heels clicking against the pavement. The sun had just started to dip behind the trees, casting a golden wash over the quiet neighborhood. When you stepped onto the sidewalk, you saw Sungoon.
He was walking a few feet ahead of you, dressed in a dark navy suit. One of his hands was smoothing his hair and while the other typed something on his phone. He seemed tense.
You cleared your throat loud enough to make him glance up.
He blinked in surprise, then gave you a half-smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Well, look at that. Fancy seeing you here.”
You stepped toward him slowly, eyeing the suit. “You still wear suits every day?”
“Sure.”
“You’re rumpled,” you said, frowning. You reached forward, tugging at the slightly crooked collar with practiced fingers. “God, how do you wear a suit every day and still not know how to wear one properly?”
His breath caught just slightly as you straightened the fold, your knuckles brushing his jaw for a split second.
“Your mom would eat you alive if she saw this,” you added, trying to justify why you were suddenly in his personal bubble.
“Thanks for the save. Again,” Sunghoon huffed. “Ever since I moved back, she’s been on my ass non-stop.”
Your brows shot up. “How long are you planning on staying here?”
“Just temporarily,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “My lease ended and I figured I’d take a break from paying Seoul rent. Mistake.”, he huffed, “She’s like: ‘You should be saving. You should get married. You should eat more. You should work less. You should stop slouching.”
You laughed, full and unfiltered. “Your mom is so intense. No offense, but she’s kind of terrifying. Like, how did your sweet dad end up with her?”
He laughed. “Everyone wonders. I think he just blinked and thirty-five years passed.”
You both chuckled as your steps fell into sync.
“She was grilling me earlier,” you said. “Asked if I had any ‘good eggs left.’ I thought she meant for the deviled platter, but nope she meant my ovaries. She told my how my job is so hard and asked whether I plan to freeze my eggs, because she would love me to have some precious kids. I think it came from the right place, but it was still kinda weird.”
Sunghoon winced. “That sounds about right. She still talks about us sometimes. Complains that I let you go.”
You looked at him sideways. “Seriously?”
“She always liked you more than she liked me,” he muttered. “Back when we were together, she used to ask at least twice a week if we were thinking about marriage. Said we’d have ‘sturdy’ children.”
You burst out laughing. “Sturdy? What does that even mean?”
“I think she meant athletic? Or that you wouldn’t let them do the stuff we did as a kid. YOu know sturdy kids. Clever and not trouble maker kids? "I dont know.”
“I probably wouldn’t. We did a lot of shit when unsupervised,” you said, grinning. “But she really did ask you that?”
“Repeatedly. Said she knows if you had my kids, she could more or less flex with her beautiful and clever daughter in law and even prettier kids, since you bring your moms genetics.”
You snorted. “Oh my god. I don’t know if that’s horrifying or flattering.”
“Both,” he said. “Mostly horrifying.”
“Well, lucky for you, I’m no longer your ticket to high-functioning offsprings.”
“Tragic,” he said, with a dry smile.
────────────────────────
You hadn’t even made it ten minutes into the party, standing near the table with the drinks, waiting for Sunghoon to finish pouring himself a glass of wine when one of your moms coworkers came up. You recognized her but couldn’t put a name to her face, she certainly has been kinda friends with your mother for a while.
“Oh, Y/N!” she beamed. “Your mom never mentioned you had a boyfriend and such a handsome one!”
You blinked. “Oh no. No, no, that’s not–he’s not my–”
“Sunghoon,” Sunghoon offered, stepping beside you with a polite smile, holding his glass of wine and your glass of juice. “Just a friend. My mom is the other one celebrating.”
“Ahhh,” the woman said, "I was so sure you were. You are in so many of those pictures together.”
You gave your best awkward laugh. “Yeah, I guess we’ve known each other forever.”
“Oh, I can tell,” she said, waving her wine glass toward the giant photo collage near the dessert table. “Look at that one,” She pointed at a photo from your family trip to Oahu. Your two moms beaming in flower leis, both of your dads awkwardly squinting into the sun… and in the middle, on a striped beach towel, were the two of you. You were in a sundress sitting sideways in Sunghoon’s lap, laughing at something he was whispering in your ear. His arms were loosely wrapped around your waist, while your hand rested comfortably on his knee.
"Yeah…” you said weakly, stomach dropping. “Those were… taken a while ago.”
Sunghoon stayed quiet. Just sipping his drink. You could feel the heat rising up your neck.
“We… used to date,” you offered, forcing a smile. “Our moms are best friends. So, you know…”
She nodded. “You don't have much choice to stay friendly with each other?”
You nodded mutely. Sunghoon gave a vague hum of agreement, and then someone called her name from across the room.
“It was nice talking to the two of you.”, she patted your shoulder, winked at Sunghoon, and wandered off.
You exhaled sharply.
Sunghoon tilted his head toward you. “You good?”
You nodded, eyes flicking toward the photo wall. “Yeah. Why did they have to choose that picture.”
He smiled faintly. “Because my mom is still hoping you freeze your eggs so I can give you some sturdy kids someday.”
You bumped his elbow. “Shut up.”────────────────────────
You were lying in your bed, your blanket pulled up to your chin, one arm shielding your eyes from the light bleeding through your half closed blinds. Everything was either too bright or too loud. And the cats kept taking turns climbing onto your chest or pawing at your face in demand of affection.
It was almost 1 a.m. and you were acutely aware that in just under four hours, your alarm would go off. You really, really needed to sleep.
But you hadn’t been able to, not properly, for a few nights now.
Ever since that dinner a few months ago, the old Kakao group chat had burst back to life. The others were texting and sending pictures what felt like nonstop. For a few weeks now they were talking about going on a trip in the mountains in the South, to relax and just hang out with each other again before the winter started. They were thinking about renting out a house with enough rooms for everyone and their partners. It sounded... really nice, if you were being honest.
But you weren’t sure.
You didn’t know if you could get the time off. You were still in residency, and vacation days weren’t exactly handed out like candy. And at that point you should probably be studying for your board certification like a maniac.
Eventually, you gave up. Tossing your blanket aside, you swung your legs over the edge of the bed and shuffled out of your room. You were somehow too tired to sleep and too restless to stay still.
The apartment was dark, the only light coming from the kitchen. You padded in barefoot and found Jaemin hunched over the microwave, heating up leftover curry. He was still wearing his scrubs and his hair was a mess.
You stood there for a moment, just watching him. Then, without a word, you stepped forward and dropped your forehead onto his back.
“Jesus,” he jolted slightly, startled. “You scared me.”
You didn’t say anything, just stayed there, your face pressed between his shoulder blades. He let out a breath, softening immediately.
“Long day?” he asked, turning around and opening his arms automatically.
You nodded and stepped into the hug, arms wrapping around his middle. He smelled faintly like antiseptic.
He held you for a moment, rubbing a slow hand up and down your back. “You’re warm,” he mumbled.
You nodded into his shirt.
“Can’t sleep again?” he asked after a beat, his voice gentle now.
You pulled back slightly but didn’t let go. “My friends from school are planning. In October.”
Jaemin leaned back just enough to look at your face. “That sounds fun.”
“It does,” you admitted. “But I don’t know if I can get the time off. And even if I do... I should probably be studying.”
“You’ve been studying since July,” he said, deadpan.
You sighed. “I just… don’t know if I can justify it.”
He gave you a look.
“Take your books with you. Study there. Wake up early and do your flashcards while everyone else is making pancakes or whatever. I am sure no one would be mad if you did a bit of revising.”
You pressed your forehead against his collarbone again, muttering, “I’ll think about it.”
He smiled into your hair. “You always say that.”
“Because I always do,” you mumbled.
The microwave beeped, and the smell of curry wafted up between you. He reached behind you blindly to open it, still holding you with one arm.
“I’ll warm you some up too,” he said, already grabbing a second bowl.
You just hummed and just closed your eyes not moving from where your arms were wrapped around his torso. He set the curry down on the counter with one hand and petted your hair softly with the other one.
“You know,” he said slowly, “you were so excited when you came back from the reunion. You kept talking about how good it was to see them again, how you missed this version of yourself. How you didn’t realize how much time had passed until you were sitting next to them.”
You blinked, but stayed silent.
“So don’t pretend like you don’t want to go,” he added, eyes narrowing ever so slightly. “You do. You just feel guilty about it.”
Your silence must’ve been answer enough, because Jaemin gently pushed you away from his chest so he could look into your eyes properly.
“You’re allowed to miss people,” he said, softer now. “And you’re allowed to want something that isn’t hospital walls and emergency pages and OB rounds at 3 a.m. You can take your books. You can wake up early and study. Hell, you’ll probably shame everyone into feeling productive.”
That earned a small, reluctant laugh from you.
“But you can also sit on a porch with your friends and a cup of tea and just be for a few days,” he said. “You’re burning yourself out againat this rate, Y/N. You deserve a break.”
You looked down, chewing on your bottom lip. The idea of a break sounded so nice it almost hurt.
He tilted his head and gave you a knowing smile. “And don't pretend like you're not already halfway convinced. You wouldn’t be standing here with your head on my spine at 1 a.m. if you weren’t.”
“Traitor,” you muttered.
He grinned. “Guilty.”
You huffed, then finally gave a slow nod.
Jaemin slid a bowl across the counter toward you and sat down beside you, spoon clinking lazily in his curry.
“I mean,” he said between bites, “if I play my cards right, pull a few strings here and there… maybe sweet-talk your boss…”
You snorted. “You’ve never even met my boss.”
“I’ve seen him once. He looks like the type who caves when someone brings good snacks and compliments his hairline.”
You gave him a look. “He’s bald.”
“Exactly. Low bar.”
You rolled your eyes, but the edge of your lips tugged upward despite yourself.
Jaemin shrugged. “Just use like… two vacation days. Plan your night shift compensation properly. Worst case, you stack five NICU shifts and hate yourself for a week?”
“But wouldn’t I hate myself during the trip then? You know, the week after five NICU shifts?”, you asked, blowing the curry on your spoon, to cool it down slightly.
He grinned into his food. “When don’t you hate yourself tho? I’m just saying: go. Take the trip. Drag your flashcards along, torture everyone with study sessions if you must. But don’t skip it. You’ll regret it.”
He was right. You would regret it. You would regret missing out again. But you couldn’t let that be a distraction.
You didn’t look up, but your voice came out a little smaller. “What if I get behind?”
“You’re already ahead. You’re always ahead. For God's sake I haven't even bought the books I’ll need Y/N. You started two months ago. And you still have 7 to go.”
There was a long pause.
Then you murmured, “Okay. I’ll ask.”
Jaemin smiled, finishing his last bite. “Good girl.”
You lifted your head just to smack his arm with your spoon.
He winced dramatically. “Are you assaulting your emotional support roommate? Unbelievable.”
“Three cats are my emotional support. You just do the dishes.”
He gave you a lopsided grin. “Then let me earn my keep and make sure you don’t work yourself into an early grave.”
────────────────────────
You were taking your time walking home from work a few weeks later. You were stationed at an outbound clinic near your parents house this week again. Half of that clinic's staff was sick with Covid and the hospital stationed some of their residents there. So you decided to stay over at your parents house, sleeping in your old room and helping your mom babysit your niece for the weekend. You'd been spoiled with warm dinners and unsolicited affection all week as well. Honestly, you weren’t complaining.
You were walking slowly, enjoying the last beams of sunshine when you noticed Sunghoon walking past you. His jacket was slung over his arm and he was typing furiously on his phone.
You accelerated your speed, stepping in sync next to him: “Sir, do you perhaps live in this neighborhood? I'm in dire need of directions, I might be a bit lost here.”
He flinched and his head snapped into your direction.
“Jesus, you just scared the shit out of me, Y/N.”, he said, breathless, holding his phone against his chest.
“Sorry Sunghoon,” you laughed and padded his shoulder.
“I am afraid I can't offer you directions though. I might be equally lost right now. It seems like we are in dire need of a guide, that guides us towards a certain gs25 to buy some ice cream, perhaps?" he said, raising his shoulders in faux confusion.
“Oh! I think I saw a particular gs25 on my way here, but I am afraid I really want to get home! It appears like my niece has been brought to my mothers and I really want to cuddle my very adorable niece, perhaps an ice to go?”, you nodded and walked backwards up the hill.
“That’s a noble excuse,” he said, adjusting his bag and shifting his jacket to the other arm. “But would you accept delivery instead? My mom’s in a bad mood today and if I stay home any longer I might spontaneously combust.”
You tilted your head, pretending to think. “Hmm. I suppose if you’re fleeing maternal wrath, I can offer sanctuary. My mom will probably force-feed you soup the second you walk through the door.”
“I’m counting on it,” he said, grinning as he fell into step beside you.
────────────────────────
The second you stepped through the door, your mom peeked around the corner from the kitchen, eyes lighting up.
“Y/N-ah! Oh, you brought a surprise with you!” she said, hands still dusted with flour. “How lovely!”
You sighed dramatically, kicking off your shoes. “I found Sunghoon on the street and had to rescue him.”
Your mom tutted but looked pleased. “Come in, come in. Look at you! So skinny! You need to eat something.”
She reached up without warning and patted his cheek affectionately, like she used to when you were teenagers. Sunghoon just blinked and let it happen, offering a half-bow and a sheepish smile.
“Hi, Aunty. Sorry to show up uninvited.”
“Nonsense. You’re always welcome here,” she said, already turning back toward the kitchen. “Sit, sit! I just made some jeon. Do you still like that?”
"Sure, Aunty!", Sunghoon said and took off his shoes.
You followed her into the kitchen. “Is Gaeun awake?”
Your dad’s voice echoed from the hallway. “Fell asleep about an hour ago. She’s still out cold.”
You groaned, deflating and turning back to walk to the living room, where she usually slept and played when she was over. “Ugh. I wanted to shower her with kisses. Telepathically tho. I am not about to get her sick.”
Sunghoon followed you. “Didn’t spend enough time with babies today?”
You shot him a look. “Not the cuddly kind.”
He raised a brow as you crossed to the blanket pile on the couch and gently peeked in at the sleeping baby. “Weren’t you at the clinic today?”
“Outbound rotation,” you said. “Lots of prenatal consults. It’s mostly OB-GYN. So yeah technically babies but unborn babies.”
“Ah,” he said. “Makes sense.”
You knelt beside Gaeun and ran your fingers softly through her hair. “She’s my one and only baby though.”
Sunghoon leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed. “Do you have another niece I missed out on?”
You shook your head. “Nope. Just Gaeun. Which is why she’s getting spoiled for life. Everything she wants she will get from her cool aunt Y/Nie.”
“She’s lucky.”
Gaeun shifted in her sleep, one chubby fist curled near her cheek.
“She’s literally the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” you whispered, doing your best to not wake her up.
Sunghoon crouched beside you, resting his arms on his knees. “You say that every time you see a baby or a dog.”
“Because it’s true every time,” you said, gently pulling her blanket up. “Look at her cheeks. I want to bite them. Is that weird?”
“A little.”
You gave him a side-eye. “She smells so good as well. I would die for her.”
He laughed under his breath. “You’re ridiculous.”
“I’m in love, Sunghoon. You wouldn’t understand.”
He just shook his head, smiling. “You’re completely gone.”
“She’s going to grow up thinking I’m the cool aunt who brings stickers and inappropriate snacks and teaches her to lie about bedtime.”
“Which… would be accurate.”
“Exactly.”
You watched her for another long beat, her tiny chest rising and falling steadily.
“She’s going to be such a menace,” you whispered fondly.
Sunghoon’s voice was quieter now. “With you as her guide? No doubt.”
"Hey I am not that bad of an influence," you protested, brushing one finger over the babies soft cheek.
"Yeah. Jake and I totally didn't have to cover for you whenever you did something stupid at school. You were always a lawful student," Sunghoon chuckled.
You rolled your eyes and huffed. "Looser. At least I had fun."
From the kitchen, the smell of jeon drifted in, followed by your mom’s distant voice calling your name.
You sighed, standing up and stretching. “Alright. Let’s go eat before she decides we’re both too skinny and starts force-feeding us.”
Sunghoon followed you out of the room, glancing once more at the sleeping toddler.
────────────────────────
The four of you sat around the small kitchen table, your dad pouring more makgeolli into his cup, while your mom fussed over whether Sunghoon had eaten enough rice. The overhead light cast a golden hue over everything.
“So, Sunghoon,” your dad began, leaning back slightly in his chair. “Are you still working yourself to death?”
Sunghoon let out a small laugh. “Trying not to. But yeah, it’s still busy.”
“Busy is good,” your mom chimed in, but she gave him a narrow look. “But are you eating? Sleeping? The two of you never did when you moved out and were left to your own devices.”
“Mom,” you groaned.
“Don't tell me I am wrong. And now look at the two of you. So skinny and overworked. You should eat another serving Sunghoon, you have to stay strong.”
“I go to the gym 4 days a week, Aunty. I am strong," Sunghoon said, deadpan.
Your parents started grilling him with questions you were pretty sure they already knew the answers to. It was coming from a good place and very lighthearted though. After all, Sunghoon had practically grown up in this kitchen so it was a given they wanted to hear from the man himself where he was now in life. You couldn’t count how many times he’d skipped out on dinners at his own house to crash yours instead.
He answered patiently, a bit sheepish but not uncomfortable. You could tell he didn’t mind it, really. Not here.
By the time your dad had moved on from work questions to retelling the same story about your high school prank war for the third time, Sunghoon had finally settled deeper into his seat.
His sleeves were rumpled now. He’d unfastened the top button of his shirt at some point and rolled his shoulders back, laughing at something your mom had said about his childhood appetite. The tight line at the edge of his jaw had softened. His posture was less perfect. He looked younger.
You couldn’t stop watching him.
It wasn’t intentional, you weren’t even sure what had pulled your gaze back to him in the first place. You couldn’t stop thinking how familiar it all felt.
How natural it still was to have him here.
Like nothing had changed at all in the last ten years.
And maybe, in some ways, nothing had. Your parents still looked at him like he was the son they never had. Your mom still offered him second servings before anyone else. He still used the honorifics around your dad even though he’d been told not to twenty years ago. He still looked like the same boy who had come over three or four nights a week in high school, when his own house, despite being spotless and felt… cold. Unforgiving.
Sunghoon had always been the golden boy: top grades, varsity athlete, polite to a fault. Your teachers loved him, which was why he was able to get you and Jake out of sticky situations almost easily back when you were in highschool. He was admired by everyone. You couldn't remember a single person that didn't like him. But at home, he had never been enough.
You’d seen it yourself, how tense he got when his mother called. How he flinched slightly at praise, like it was a test he had to pass again. How he learned to be charming because being himself was never quite the right answer. You hated his mother for doing that.
He could’ve brought home the moon and his mom still would’ve asked why it had craters.
And yet your mom loved him the second you brought him home at age 5. She gave him as much food as he wanted, gave him all the attention he needed, and came to every skating event, even if his parents couldn’t make the time. She somehow managed to get off work, every time, sitting in the bleachers of those ice rinks cheering for SUnghoon together with you. She had treated him like a teenage boy deserved to be treated: not perfectly, just kindly.
He was laughing at something your dad said, his hands working though the perfectly styled hair, messing it up in the progress.
That was the version of him you fell in love with so many years back.
Not the one in suits. Not the one fielding client calls at eleven. Not the one sitting in meeting rooms with the weight of a multi-million euro deal in his jaw.
But this Sunghoon.
The one who grinned with his whole face. Who passed side dishes to your dad before being asked. Who muttered sarcastic little asides only you would catch. The one who used to steal bites from your plate and fall asleep on the living room floor with his head resting against your knee.
The version of him you thought you knew forever. The version you thought you would always have.
You were different now too, older, sharper. Always tried and always rushing. Every time you saw him now, which was admittedly only 7 or 8 times over the last months, he seemed stressed and tired.
Sunghoon looked over, just briefly, catching your eye mid-laugh.
“What?” he asked, mouth still curled into a smile.
You blinked, startled. “Nothing.”
“You’re staring.”
“I’m digesting.”
He narrowed his eyes in mock suspicion, but let it go.
You glanced down at your plate, heart suddenly too full and too tired at once.
So much had changed.
And yet sitting here, in your moms kitchen, her ugly table cloth spread under your dishes and you wondered if maybe not everything had.
Just then a sharp wail echoed from the living room.
You were already halfway out of your chair. “It’s okay, I got her–”
“Y/N, sit–” your mom began, but you were already waving her off.
“I got her,” you said again, grinning as you darted out of the kitchen. “My favorite niece is calling for me!”
Sunghoon chuckled as you practically sprinted down the hallway.
In the living room, Gaeun’s face was red and scrunched, tiny fists balled up near her cheeks, her cry high-pitched and frantic.
You knelt beside her, scooping her up in one smooth motion, pressing soft kisses to her temple.
“Shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay,” you whispered, rocking her gently as you reached for the bottle your mom had prepped earlier. “You’re hungry, huh?”
She latched on instantly, her cries quieting between gulps.
You sat down with her in your lap, humming softly under your breath as she fed, your hand gently stroking her soft hair.
From the hallway, Sunghoon leaned on the doorframe, arms crossed, watching quietly.
“Impressive diagnosis, Dr. Auntie,” he said softly.
You turned to look at him, bouncing Gaeun gently. “Years of clinical experience. And also I just… really love her.”
He tilted his head slightly, watching you cradle the tiny baby. “I can tell.”
You smirked. “Why do you sound surprised?”
“I’m not,” he said, but his voice had gone quieter. Softer. “You’re just… good at this.”
You glanced down at Gaeun, who had started to calm a little, blinking up at you with watery eyes.
Sunghoon didn’t speak for a moment, he came over and lowered himself onto the sofa next to you. When he did speak again, his voice was softer than before.
“You’ve always loved kids.”
“Yeah,” you murmured. “Still do.”
He nodded slowly. Then, without looking at you:
“You used to say you wanted three.”
You laughed under your breath. “I did. I also said I wanted a dog that talks and a husband who bakes soufflés.”
He smiled at that but didn’t respond.
After a moment, you added, quieter:
“I don’t know. The older I get, the more it feels… unreachable. Like even if I wanted a kid right now, I couldn’t. I’ve spent so long working toward this career… I’m just now getting to the part where all of it might pay off.” You took a breath. “Having a baby would derail everything.”
“That’s so sad,” he said quietly. “You always wanted this.”
You didn’t answer right away. Just rocked the baby gently and let the silence stretch between you.
After a few beats you glanced at him sideways.
“How was your day?”
He groaned lightly and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “Oh, you know. Same circus, different set of clowns.”
You raised a brow. “That bad?”
He let out a quiet laugh. “Not even surprising anymore. I spent my whole morning fixing a report someone else screwed up, then got blamed for responding ‘too bluntly’ in an email. And someone scheduled a meeting over lunch. Again.”
“That’s cruel.”
“It should be illegal,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t mind the job. Honestly, I like it. I worked my ass off to get here. It’s just…some of these people make me question humanity.”
You laughed. “That bad, huh?”
He turned to you with a dry smile. “If natural selection applied to PowerPoint formatting, I’d have peace.”
You snorted. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Am I wrong though?”
You shook your head, a little smile playing on your lips. “No. Just dramatic.”
His tone softened then. “But really... I’m lucky. I know that. I’ve got a solid team, good salary, stability. I just wish I didn’t have to babysit full-grown adults while pretending to care about their feelings.”
You nodded slowly, gaze dropping to the baby in your lap. “Sounds exhausting.”
“It is. But…” he paused, voice dipping into something more honest. “You kinda just accept it. Like, this is what it looks like. Being a grown-up.”
You were quiet for a second.
“Yeah,” you murmured.
You both sat in silence for a bit, the baby sleeping peacefully in your arms now.
“You know,” Sunghoon said after a long moment, still gazing at the crib, “your mom… she really did take me in like a son.”
You turned to look at him.
“I don’t think I ever said it out loud, but I’m so grateful for her. And for your dad too. They’re such–” He paused, trying to find the right word. “They’re just… really good people.”
Your heart tightened a little. He wasn’t the kind of person to say things like that unless he truly meant them.
A beat passed before he added, more quietly, “And you… you’re turning out just like them, you know?”
You blinked, caught off guard by the sincerity. You opened your mouth, unsure of what to say, but before you could respond, your mom’s voice came from the hallway.
“Sunghoon-ah, my son,” she called warmly, stepping into the room in her worn slippers and a floral apron still tied around her waist. “I’m heading to bed. You should go home too, it’s getting late, you look tired.”
Sunghoon stood, his posture straightening instinctively. “Yes, of course. Thank you for having me.”
She waved him off, already moving to turn off lights and tidy a stray cushion. “Oh, don’t you worry about that! Come over more often, please, even if Y/N isn’t here.”
She paused in the doorway, narrowing her eyes at him. “You’re getting too skinny again. Tell your mother to feed you properly.”
He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll let her know.”
With a soft goodnight, your mom disappeared down the hallway, the floor creaking familiarly under her steps.
The room was quiet again, save for Gaeun’s slow breathing.
Sunghoon turned to you, his smile lopsided, softer than before. “Guess I better go before she packs me leftovers for the whole week.”
You grinned, standing to walk him to the door. “You know she probably already did.”
At the door, he slipped on his shoes and turned back toward you.
“Thanks for letting me crash dinner.”
“No worries,” you said, leaning against the frame. “You apparently needed it.”
He nodded, then paused, as if he wanted to say something else, but didn’t.
Instead, he gave you a little wave. “Night, Y/N.”
“Night, Sunghoon.”
The door closed with a quiet click.
You stood there for a moment, staring at the empty hallway.
You looked down at Gaeun, now snuggled against your chest, fast asleep. Her tiny breaths warmed the fabric of your shirt.
After a few minutes, you brought her into your childhood room, gently lowering her into the crib your mom had set up earlier. She stirred slightly, but didn’t wake.
You stood there for a moment, just watching her, the soft rise and fall of her chest, the little sigh she gave as her fingers curled near her cheek.
Then, slowly, you turned and climbed into bed.
The ceiling hadn’t changed. Neither had the faint sound of cicadas outside the window or the way the floor creaked when someone walked down the hallway.
But you had.
And lying there, in the same room you used to stay up in texting Sunghoon under the covers, you felt the quiet ache of time slipping past.
So many things had changed.
And yet tonight, for just a few moments, it had felt like nothing had.
You turned onto your side, pulling the blanket up over your shoulder, your gaze drifting toward the crib in the corner.
“Night, Gaeun,” you whispered
────────────────────────
You were sniffling slightly when you stepped into your apartment two months later. It was quiet except for the soft clicking of claws on the hardwood floor when Luna wandered to the door to greet you. Her fur was soft against your hand, when you squatted down to pet her. “Hi love.”,you whispered and nudged her head against your palms, purring loudly. You closed your eyes for a second and took a deep breath before standing up again. You dropped your bag in the door, only taking out your water bottle and empty bento box. The hallway mirror catched your attention when you looked up again. Your eyes were puffy, skin pale, your once neat braid now slipping out of its tie and clinging to the back of your neck.
Jaemin was right, you did get 4 days off, but you did hate yourself a bit. Five nightshifts in a row was almost as bad as it got, but you got to spend your time in the NICU so it was even worse. You were used to the intensity of the NICU, as it was one of the stations you worked most frequently, but today had just been a horrible shift. You lost two babies. Both were premature and it was almost clear from the start that their tiny bodies were too weak to fight for long. You had been the one to talk with the parents.
You hated that part most. Hated the way their faces crumbled when they realized what you were about to say, how it somehow had gotten to be so normal for you that the words weren’t stuck in your throat anymore, how you now had enough experience with grieving families to stay professional.
Your stomach growled loudly and you groaned because you knew you wouldn’t have time to eat anything. Jay would be here in less than thirty minutes and you still had to shower and finish up packing the rest of your clothing. You figured you could ask him to stop at a rest area on the way and get something to eat and a coffee there. Afterall, the others wanted to hike today so kaffeein sounded reasonable to keep you awake.
You rolled your shoulders back and padded to the bathroom. Setting the water to the coldest temperature you could bear, you quickly washed off the hospital. You didn’t even bother applying makeup or properly styling your hair, only blowdrying it.
You said yes to this trip because everyone kept telling you it would be good for you. A break. A reset. But right now, standing barefoot and with wet hair in your bedroom, the idea of spending four days around people felt more overwhelming than comforting and refreshing.
You got dressed anyway. Jay would be there soon, and he was punctual to a fault, even at 7:30 am.
You pulled on a random hoodie that was draped over your chair and sank down on your bed for a second. The hoodie still faintly smelled like Kai, who had borrowed it to you after you forgot to bring a jacket to the library and he had insisted you wear it on your way home to avoid getting sick. You really should text him again.
For a second you thought about calling your mom, telling her how or anyone you were just tired and wanted to sleep, how you wanted to come home to her having cooked lunch, how you just wanted to spend time with her but it was early and she always rushed through morning phone calls with too many things on her plate. Your dad would probably be mid-surgery prep, he was the one who understood you the best at the moment, having gone through this exact process already. Yunjin would understand, or pretend to, but you’d see her in a few hours. You didn’t want to drop all of this on her before the trip even started.
And Jaemin had been running on empty lately too. He and Jeno were going through a rough patch at the moment, with Jaemin spending his time working or studying, just like you were. It was hard for other people to understand, the constant pressure to be working perfectly and Jeno wanted to get at least a bit of his boyfriend's attention and time, which Jaemin just couldn’t offer right now.
At least the cats were here.
Lucy had followed you from the bathroom. The second you laid back, she jumped onto the bed and curled up beside your hip like a small, warm stone. The other two weren’t far behind, hopping onto the foot of the bed and stretching out without a care in the world.
You reached out and gently scratched behind Luks ears. The silence of the apartment settled around you, soft and heavy. You closed your eyes for a second, trying not to think about the hospital or the certification. Just anything else.
You stayed there, curled up with your cats, waiting for your body to gather just enough energy to stand again. You still had to pack. Jay would be here soon. You’d feel better once you hit the road and were under people again. Being alone never did you any good.
A few minutes after you finished packing the rest of your clothing and fed the cats. You grabbed a mask and a cap, anything to make your puffy face feel a little less exposed, slung your laptop bag over one shoulder and wheeled your small suitcase out the door.
The elevator was empty on your way down.
Jay’s car pulled up a few minutes later. You straightened a little as he stepped out, smiling that big, comforting Jay-smile that hadn't changed since high school. His girlfriend was in the passenger seat, stretching backwards to hand Haneul, who was sitting in a booster seat, a piece of apple. Sunghoon sat next to her in the middle seat. He waved at you and you plastered on a tired smile.
“Hey,” Jay said as he popped the trunk. “You look like hell.”
“Thanks,” you murmured, lifting your suitcase in before he could. “I came straight from the hospital.”
He blinked. “You serious?”
You shrugged. “Yeah.”
“Did you work a night shift?”, he asked while closing the trunk door.
“Man, I worked five nightshifts in a row for this trip. Just to see all of you losers.”, you joked as you followed him around the car, sliding into the seat next to Sunghoon. Before you could greet any of the others Haneul screeched: “Kitty!”
“Kitty?”, you said, blinking at her and then Sunghoon, who was looking at the toddler with an equally confused face.
“Kitty!”, she just said again and pointed at you.
“Oh.”, Sunghoon laughed lowly, “On your hoodie.” He gestured to the two cats that were printed on the front of your hoodie. “She really loves cats.”
“Oh.”, you said and smiled at the child, “Yeah kitties, you’re right Haneul.”
Sunghoons whole side was pressed into yours in the tight space of the backseat of the car.
“Good morning Y/N,” he said softly.
“Hi,” you answered just as softly as you adjusted your bag in your lap.
“Y/N, this is Seol,” Jay’s girlfriend turned around from the front, a warm smile on her face.
“Nice to meet you,” you said quickly.
“Yeah! It’s so nice to finally meet you as well! I’ve been told a lot about you by the rest.”, she said and laughed gently.
“Only good stuff I hope!”, you nudged Sunghoons shoulder with yours.
“Nah I exclusively told her about how you are an awful cook and are obsessive about cleaning and hate chicken.”, he shrugged and smirked.
“Okay Seol. Those are lies and he is exaggerating. I can cook decently and he is just as obsessive with cleanliness!", you exclaimed and punched him this time.
Everyone laughed and Jay threaded the car into the morning traffic.
“Is it okay with you if I sleep a bit? I just came from a nightshift and I am really tired.”, you asked shyly after a while.
“Oh no no. Just sleep, we will wake you when we are there.”, Jay said and lowered the volume of the radio, which was currently playing kids songs.
“Okay, thank you,” you nodded and rested your head against the cold window.
────────────────────────
You stirred as the car slowed to a stop, the rumble of the tires on gravel pulling you halfway out of sleep. A moment later, a hand brushed your shoulder and gently nudged you awake. You blinked one eye open.
“Y/N,” Sunghoon said softly. “We’re at a rest stop. Do you wanna stretch, pee, get something to eat?”
You squinted at him, brain lagging behind. “Mhm,” you mumbled, not even sure what you were agreeing to.
He huffed a quiet laugh, and the sound made you smile for a split second before your eyelids slid shut again.
“I’ll get you something,” he said under his breath, already maneuvering himself out of the car. You caught a glimpse of him awkwardly twisting his long legs past Haneul’s booster seat on the other side before the door shut with a thud.
The warmth of his body left with him.
You must’ve dozed off again, because the next thing you knew, the door creaked open, cool air slipping inside. Then something cool and plastic pressed lightly against your arm.
“Hey.” His voice was closer this time. “Here.”
You blinked up at him, disoriented. Sunghoon was standing just outside the car, holding out a plastic container and a bottle of water. His hair was a little messy from the wind, his sleeves pushed up.
“Will you let me in? I really don’t feel like climbing over Haneuls seat again”, he said, shaking his head.
You groaned. “Ugh. Yeah. Gimme a sec.”
You unbuckled your seatbelt and made your way outside of the car, taking the bowls and the bottles Sunghoon was holding. He climbed in and waited for you to hand him your breakfast back before returning to your original position.
He handed over the lower plastic container. The lid was already cracked open slightly. It was an acai bowl. The same one you used to get back in med school when you had early study mornings. He bought them every time he went grocery shopping, picking out the bananas for you, because he knew you didn’t like them. You glanced down. No banana slices, not a single one. His bowl had what looked like an excessive amount of bananas inside.
You didn’t say anything. Just swallowed quietly and dug the spoon in.
The car started rolling again, Jay humming along to some pop song on the radio, and Haneul giggled as Sunghoon tried to open her triangle gimbap without tearing the nori apart. You ate slowly. The fruit was tart and cold, the granola soft but still sweet. It settled your stomach a little. When you were done, you capped the empty container and leaned forward, slipping it down onto the floor near your feet.
“Thanks,” you murmured, eyes half-lidded again.
Sunghoon gave a small hum of acknowledgment, still focused on cleaning sticky rice off Haneul’s fingers with a napkin.
You let your head fall back against the seat, eyes drifting shut again. You didn’t notice when your head tilted to the side, bumping softly against the firm line of Sunghoon’s shoulder.
────────────────────────
“Y/N,” a voice said softly near your ear. “We’re here.”
You blinked awake, your vision was slow to adjust as you realized your head was resting on something warm.
Oh no.
You jerked upright, barely catching yourself with your hand against the door. Sunghoon’s shoulder was right there, where your cheek had been. Heat rose fast in your chest and flushed up your neck.
“I- ” you stammered, brushing hair out of your face, “sorry, I didn’t mean to-”
He just laughed quietly, unclipping his seatbelt. “You were dead asleep. It’s fine.”
“But I-seriously, I didn’t realize I-”
“Y/N.” He looked at you, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Shut up and get out. We both know you needed the sleep and I was not about to wake you because you used me as a pillow. ” He slid out of the seat with practiced grace and stretched his arms out. “I would have if you drooled on me tho.”
You nodded, flustered and still not fully awake, but you managed a muttered, “Right. Okay. Thanks.”
Outside, the mountain air was noticeably cooler than the air in Seoul. The morning fog hadn’t lifted completely yet, and the gravel crunched as you all moved toward the house you rented. Haneul was skipping ahead to Seol, her tiny backpack bouncing with every step.
The house was bigger than you expected. It was a two-level cabin-style place with warm wooden siding and wide windows.
The house had enough rooms for each couple…and one for you and Sunghoon. Yunjin and Ningning both offered to room with you while Sunghoon slept in their room with Heeseung or Taesung. You declined, not wanting them to be forced to sleep in a room with you when they could be spending time with their partners just because you might feel a bit awkward. For the record you were feeling a bit awkward but this was also the ninth or tenth time you saw Sunghoon after breaking up. But not awkward enough to switch rooms, that's for sure.
You followed, a step behind Jay and Sunghoon, your own suitcase rolling quietly over the gravel. At the base of the staircase, Sunghoon paused again and turned halfway to you. His voice was lower this time, not as even. “Um. You want me to carry yours up?”
You blinked. “No, it’s fine. I’ve got it.”
He nodded once and started up the stairs with your suitcase anyway, the quiet creaking under his steps the only sound for a moment. The hallway upstairs was lined with doors, the floorboards creaking softly under your steps. Sunghoon led the way, peeking into rooms, mumbling under his breath about finding the one with two beds. When he finally found it at the end of the hall, he stepped aside so you could see inside.
"Looks like this is us," he said, nudging the door open.
Two single beds, pushed against opposite walls, faced each other. A shared dresser stood between them, and soft afternoon light filtered in through gauzy curtains. You stepped in and dropped your backpack on the closest bed with a sigh.
“Man,” you mumbled, kicking off your shoes and letting yourself fall face-first into the mattress, “I’m so tired I might actually cry.”
Sunghoon let out a low chuckle behind you, the familiar sound making your shoulders unclench just a little.
“Then sleep,” he said, dropping your suitcase beside the dresser and his own against the far wall. “No one’s gonna judge. We’ve all been in the car for hours, and you came straight from work.”
You rolled onto your back with a groan, one arm over your eyes. “No, no. It’s fine. I’ll just power through.”
“Y/N,” he said flatly, crossing his arms. “Sleep. I am not dealing with a grumpy you just because you want to prove a point.”
You cracked one eye open and squinted at him. “I’m not grumpy.”
He gave you a look. “Y/N.”
“What?”
“Sleep.”
You huffed and repeated yourself. “I’m not grumpy.”
He snorted. “Yeah. Right. You’re worse than a toddler.”
Your jaw dropped. “Liar.”
“I’ve dealt with an actual toddler. Extensively. Believe me. I know the signs.”
You grabbed the nearest pillow and launched it at his head. “You absolute menace.”
He caught it midair, smug as ever. “I lived with you for almost seven years. You were sleep-deprived for at least four of them.”
“Exactly, and I was very pleasant.”
“You were a hazard.”
You squinted at him. “Say that again and I’ll smother you with your pillow tonight.”
He just laughed, tossing the pillow back at the foot of your bed. “If you don’t sleep, I swear I’ll lock you in this room and take your phone and laptop with me.”
You stared at him. “You wouldn’t.”
“I absolutely would.”
He raised a brow. You narrowed your eyes. Then flopped back down dramatically with a heavy sigh. “Fine.”
“That’s what I thought.”
You rolled onto your side, hugging the pillow. “Maybe I was a toddler. But you still loved me.”
There was a pause.
“Shut up and sleep.”, he threw the pillow back at you and it hit your back with a dull thud.
You smiled into the blanket, smug despite the exhaustion. “That’s what I thought.”
“Seriously, Y/N. If you don’t pass out in the next five minutes, I’m calling your attending and request sedation.”
But you didn’t argue further. You curled up properly, pulling the blanket over your shoulder and tucking your legs in. The bed was soft and smelled faintly of laundry detergent and cedarwood. The last thing you registered before sleep pulled you under was the quiet creak of the door as Sunghoon stepped back out.
────────────────────────
You had no idea how much time had passed when you felt the full weight of another person slam onto you.
“Wakey wakey sleeping beauty.”, Jake whispered in your ear.
“Jake,” you groaned, voice muffled into the pillow. “Get off me.”
“I missed you too,” he said cheerfully, wiggling around on top of the blanket and fully ignoring your attempt to shove him off. “Congrats, you’ve been selected for a special mission.”
“What,” you grunted, “the hell are you talking about?”
“Grocery run,” he said, as if this was the most exciting thing ever. “You, me, and our favorite law nerd.”
You pried your eyes open. “Jake. Move your fat ass.”
“No can do,” he sang, “not until you confirm your participation.”
You growled something unintelligible and tried to sit up anyway, managing to half-shove him off as you groggily blinked around the room. It was brighter now, early afternoon, probably.
You felt puffy-eyed, warm, and absolutely not ready to deal with Sunghoon or Jake or any decision-making.
Still, you sighed, stretched, and got up.
“We were picked in a fair game of rok paper and scissors and Yunjin lost for you. So we’re going to emart.”, Jake grinned and watched how you tried to shake yourself awake.
“Fine. Whatever.”
Jake grinned and clapped like a seal. “Let’s go, Sleeping Beauty.”
────────────────────────
The glass doors slid open with a cheerful chime, and you immediately veered off to grab a shopping cart.
"Okay, let’s be efficient and quick," you began, only to slow down as you reached the ramen aisle. "Actually… should we grab some for Heeseung?"
Jake perked up immediately. “Oh yeah, let’s goooo.”
Sunghoon groaned behind you. “God, not again. This is gonna be just like that trip to Sokcho, isn’t it? Where you and Heeseung lived off Shin Ramyeon and triangle kimbap for three straight days?”
Jake grinned. “Those were elite meals.”
You snorted, grabbing a couple packs. “You two are actual menaces. There’s a toddler on this trip now. No one’s living off processed soup. I will feed her and anyone else who might want to participate healthy and nutritious meals.”
Sunghoon nodded solemnly. “Y/N is right. We have to be responsible adults now.”
Jake blinked. “You literally bought Haneul cereal with marshmallows inside.”
“Okay, and?” Sunghoon raised a brow. “I was totally planning on having an overly excited two year old running through my flat.”
You whacked the handle of the cart gently with your hand. “I swear to god, if either of you tries to feed Haneul overly processed sweet cereal on this trip i will murder.”
“She liked it!” Jake argued.
“She’s two!” you shot back, exasperated. “of course she would like Lucky charms!”
The three of you kept bickering your way through the aisles, Sunghoon and Jake tossing in snacks and frozen dumplings while you tried your best to balance out their food choices with fresh produce and at least two kinds of leafy greens.
Eventually, as you neared the checkout, Sunghoon slowed near a display stacked with colorful plushies and plastic toys.
“Ha-neul would love this,” he said, reaching for a giant bubble wand shaped like a bunny, which apparently made fairy noises when used.
“Nope,” you warned, grabbing the cart tighter. “Absolutely not. Put it down.”
“But–”
“Sunghoon.”
“She’d be so happy–”
“She’d also swing that thing like a sword and decapitate one of us.”
“Honestly, I’d accept it,” Jake said, nodding solemnly. “I’ve lived a full life.”
You sighed. “You two are impossible.”
Sunghoon, completely ignoring your scolding, tossed the wand back dramatically like a child denied his favorite toy. “You’re no fun.”
“And you,” you said, pointing at him with a cucumber, “want us to not be able to sleep cause Jay's already very loud and energetic toddler has a very loud and annoying toy, Sunghoon.”
Jake just laughed, loading the conveyor belt with ramen packs.
────────────────────────
“You holding up okay?”
You were slumped a little in the back seat, elbow propped against the window only paying half paying attention to their conversation. “Dude,” you said, rubbing at your eye, “I am so tired. I’ll probably go to bed before Haneul tonight.”
Jake laughed a little and Sunghoon piped in: “She fell asleep in the car and snored.”
You shot him a look so sharp he should’ve bled. “Okay, stop.”
He raised his hands in faux innocence, grinning. “Just saying.”
You groaned and pointed accusingly at both of them. “Sunghoon snores like a fucking chainsaw and Jake, you do too. So if I might have quietly snored a little after crying my eyes out because I had to tell two parents their baby died–” Your voice cracked for half a second, and then you snapped your mouth shut, looking out the window. “I get a pass. Okay?”
It was silent for a long moment.
“Yo, what the fuck,” Jake said softly.
You didn’t look back at them. “Let’s just not talk about it, yeah?”
There was another beat of silence, filled only by the soft sound of the radio playing another overplayed song. You really wanted to change the topic, Jake and Sunghoon would definitely never not talk about it so you had to distract them somehow.
“You know what,” you said, reaching for Sunghoon's phone, which was resting on the middle console, “This radio channel is shit I will now be the DJ of our ride.”
Sunghoon gave you a side glance. “I won’t listen to any of your musical songs right now. I can’t handle Hamlet while driving a car full of idiots.”
“That’s because you have zero taste,” you shot back, unlocking his phone. His pin hasn’t changed since high school, it was his sister's birthday. “We’re going full nostalgia today.”
Jake perked up. “Like, high school bangers?”
“Exactly.”
You scrolled through your old shared playlist, the one you all made back in your second year. A beat later, the opening notes of Hello by Joy filled the car, and you couldn’t stop the grin spreading across your face as you cranked the volume up.
“Oh no,” Sunghoon muttered. “Turn it down before you break a window.”
You ignored him and immediately began singing along.
“You’re throwing off my depth perception,” Sunghoon complained over the music. “I can’t see with you murdering the melody like that.”
“Oh really?” you leaned forward slightly, singing louder now and way off-key on purpose “Hellooooo~”
Jake wheezed but joined in.
“I’m pulling over,” Sunghoon threatened, though there was an unmistakable smile tugging at his lips. “You’re going to get us arrested for noise pollution. Turn the music down at least a bit Y/N.”
“I can’t do that,” you said and shook your head, “but I can switch to the next song!”
The moment Jake heard Twenty-three start playing, he perked up.
“No way,” he grinned, mouth still full of seaweed chips. “Turn that up even more.”
You obliged. Sunghoon groaned audibly. “Absolutely not.”
Too late. You and Jake launched into the chorus at full volume, harmonizing terribly on purpose.
“I’m twenty-three, I’m a riddle~” you sang, leaning toward Sunghoon with a smug grin. “Try to figure me out, boy~”
Jake chimed in with a falsetto, “But you still won’t get itttt~!”
Sunghoon had his head resting against the steering wheel at a red light. “I’m going to crash this car on purpose.”
“Oh, come on,” Jake laughed. “You love us.”
“I used to,” Sunghoon muttered. “Before you both decided to assault me with IU.”
You turned around in your seat, eyes squinting like a grandma. “You used to like this song. You said it was genius lyricism, remember?”
“I was young and stupid.”
────────────────────────
The house was buzzing when the three of you returned. Everyone had already changed into hiking gear, sneakers laced and backpacks slung over shoulders.
“You’ve got ten minutes to change, my loves!”, Yunjin said instead of a greeting when the three of you arrived back.
You groaned playfully. “We’re not even allowed to sit down first?”
“Nope,” Heeseung said, tossing a protein bar at you. “Fuel up and get moving, we don’t wanna miss the sunset.”
Jake was already halfway up the stairs, so you trudged up behind him with Sunghoon following suit. When you pushed into your room, you headed straight for your suitcase, searching for the leggings and the hoodie you brought for going on a hike.
Sunghoon stood awkwardly near the door for a second, “Uh, I’ll just use the bathroom, give you a minute to–”
You cut him off without even looking up. “Sunghoon, you’ve seen me naked like… many, many times.”
He froze.
You tugged out a hoodie and looked up with a raised brow. “In the last two years, not much changed aside from maybe me gaining some weight. Just turn around and change. Even if you peek, I don’t really care.”
He blinked. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” you nodded, already pulling off Kai's hoodie over your shoulders.
Sunghoon turned around and reached for his suitcase.
You both changed in mostly silence. Mostly, because you started muttering curses under your breath when your sock got stuck in the corner of the suitcase and Sunghoon, still facing the wall, chuckled.
“I heard that,” he said.
“Great. I am glad your ears haven’t lost their function in the last ten minutes.”
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This was a mistake.
You were maybe thirty minutes into the hike and already regretting every life decision that had led to this moment. The incline was steeper than you remembered from Yunjin’s very casual description of the hike, and your thighs were burning. Your hoodie stuck uncomfortably to your back, your water bottle was nearly empty and you still had almost an hour to go, if not more.
You tugged your cap down further, wiping your sweat-slicked forehead with the back of your hand. You were never really a athletic person and considering you’re spending your time studying or working, this ‘small hike up the hill’ was a bigger workout than you anticipated. “Who the hell thought walking uphill for two hours to eat dinner was a good idea?” you muttered mostly to yourself.
Sunghoon glanced back over his shoulder and grinned. He was only a few steps ahead, walking backwards now with infuriating ease.
“You’re the one who said you wanted to see more green.”
“I meant, like. Spinach in my rice. Not trees around me.”
You huffed and slowed a bit more. Your calves were screaming. This was not what people with four night shifts behind them should be doing. You should be home sleeping or studying, not sweating through your hoodie and trying not to trip over exposed roots.
Sunghoon waited at a bend in the path, hands on his hips. “You okay?”
You gave him a flat look. “Do I look okay?”
“Honestly?” He tilted his head. “You look like you’re about to just lie down on the floor and wait until someone is going to pick you up, like Haneul just did.”
You snorted. “I’m wasting precious study time to walk around trees, Park. I have fetal monitoring notes to memorize. Placenta slides to cry over. Meanwhile, I’m out here, climbing hills.”
He laughed. A real, full laugh that pulled his shoulders up and crinkled his eyes.
“Want me to carry you like the toddler you are?” he offered, already half-turning like he might actually mean it. You knew he could and would if you asked.
You waved him off. “Absolutely not. If I’m dying, I’m dying with dignity.”
“Noted.” But he slowed down anyway, matching your pace without a word as the rest of the group drifted further ahead.
────────────────────────
The hike was worth it. The view was ridiculous.
Golden light spilled over the horizon, washing the mountains in soft warmth and making the little patio of the restaurant glow like something out of a movie. The food was incredible, grilled meat, fresh vegetables, jjigae bubbling in the middle of the table.
You leaned back in your chair, a half-full bowl cradled in your hands, and watched the others laugh.
Heeseung and Ningning were teasing Yujin’s boyfriend, who looked overwhelmed but pleased. Jake was narrating a story about a ski trip you did a few years ago to Seol, while Jay kept adjusting the tiny blanket wrapped around Haneul’s shoulders where she was now curled up asleep in his lap, her tiny face smushed against his chest.
You felt something crack a little inside your chest.
This was the sort of evening you used to dream about. Group trips with the people you loved most.
You used to think… you’d bring your kid along. You always dreamed of having kids early, to raise them with your chaotic group of friends, just like Jay had.
You blinked slowly, staring down into your bowl of rice.
You really should have been there. You should have taken the time out of your schedule when it wasn’t as stressful as it was now to stay in contact with your friends, to see Haneul grow up. To help Jay whenever he struggled. For god sake if someone knew how to handle kids, or well new borns, it was you. But you felt so guilty that you couldn’t even look Jay in the eyes.
You hadn’t meant to drift so far away. You just… kept choosing work. Kept telling yourself there’d be time later. That after the internship, after year one, after the shift change, after this week of nightshifts… But the weeks had somehow stretched into years.
You looked up, eyes flicking across the table. Jay was murmuring something to his girlfriend, brushing a bit of rice off Haneul’s cheek. He looked happy.
You cleared your throat and reached for the water pitcher, blinking hard.
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Back at the house, everyone slowly said goodnight one after another, apparently drained from the hike up to the restaurant. You moved on autopilot, brushing your teeth, tying your hair up in a sloppy braid, pulling a hoodie over your tank top. Sunghoon was already in bed when you slipped back into the room.
The air in the room was warm, a little stuffy, but somehow very familiar. A faint mix of detergent and something you couldn’t name but had always been his. Just... him.
“Goodnight,” you mumbled, tugging your phone charger to your side of the room.
“Night,” he said, his voice already thick with sleep. And not five minutes later, his soft, uneven snore rumbled gently through the quiet.
You laughed under your breath. He always snored when he was dead tired.
But somehow you weren’t even close to being dead tired.
You laid there, eyes open, staring at the slats in the ceiling. Your blanket was bunched at your waist, legs too warm to be under it, arms too cold to be free. The soft rise and fall of Sunghoons breath should have been comforting, it always was when you couldn’t sleep, but all it did today was echo in your chest. Usually if you couldn’t sleep and Jaemin was home you would have slithered into his bed and tried to fall asleep listening to his heartbeat or his breathing, but you really didn’t want to ask your ex to cuddle you because you couldn't sleep.
God, the whole room smelled like him. That was unfair.
You gave up just before 2am.
Silently, carefully, you slid out of bed, grabbed your iPad from the tote near the door, and crept into the hallway.
The house was quiet. Not the hospital quiet you were used to, filled with beeping and heavy footsteps, but real quiet.
You made your way into the main room and curled up in the corner of the couch, dragging your hoodie sleeve over your hands to warm them. With a sign you opened anki and tried to focus.
Somewhere around half an hour later, your phone buzzed.
Jaemin:
The restaurant looks really good. How did they get you to hike up there tho?
You huffed out a soundless laugh.
You:
It’s 2:37.
Why are you alive.
Jaemin:
Nightshift.
And I’m on break.
Why are YOU alive.
You:
Can’t sleep.
Again.
Brain won’t turn off.
So i am studying.
Jaemin:
Of course you are.
You absolute gremlin.
If you are still active on anki when i take my next break ill come to that house and steal your electric devices!
You in fact were still active on anik when Jaemin had another break at 4:30 am but decided not only because he was scolding you, but also because you finally felt exhausted, to sleep.
────────────────────────
The floor creaked under your weight when you tiptoed back into your room. Sunghoon stirred as you slid into your bed again, but didn’t wake up.
You weren’t sure what woke you, the creak of the door, maybe, or the sudden burst of cold air against your legs when the blanket shifted, but the next thing you registered was a high-pitched squeal:
“Uncle Sunghoon!”
You heard the thud of a small weight launching itself onto Sunghoons bed, followed by the sound of tiny feet thumping against the mattress and Sunghoon’s very quick, very groggy, “Shhh, hey. Haneul, not so loud. Shhh.”
You blinked your eyes open slowly. The light in the room was already too bright for how little sleep you’d gotten. Your head ached dully behind your eyes and your limbs felt like lead, every cell protesting the idea of being awake.
Still, a part of you couldn’t help the soft pull at your mouth when you saw Haneul crawling over the covers, tugging at Sunghoon’s sleeve.
“Aunt Y/N is still very sleepy so we have to be very quiet, okay?”, he asked her while sitting up and pulling the giggling toddler into a hug.
“Breakfast”, she said with a bit too much enthusiasm into her pacifier, only to be sushed by Sunghoon again.
“Let’s get some breakfast for you and let Aunt Y/N sleep, huh Haneul? Is that fine for you?”
The toddler nodded enthusiastically and clinged to Sunghoon's upper body when he untangled himself from his blankets.
You didn’t say anything, just pressed your cheek into the pillow and let your eyes close again, heart catching strangely at the sound of Sunghoon’s voice speaking for you.
The door clicked softly shut behind them.
────────────────────────
When you woke up again, it was well past ten.
It was quiet. You took a deep breath and rubbed your eyes harshly before making your way into the bathroom on the hallway. It was cold inside, someone left the window open after showering. Soft morning light filtered into the room while you washed your face and brushed your teeth.
The floor creaked faintly when you shuffled into the kitchen. It smelled like food and your stomach grumbled loudly when you saw the plate of fried egg and toast on the counter. A stickynote was glued to the waterbottle next to it: “We took Haneul to the petting zoo! Didn’t want to wake you, you looked exhausted. We’ll be back around lunch. Text if you need anything ♡”
You stared at the note for a moment, rubbing at the sleep still clinging to your face. They left without you.
You reached for the note.
Somehow you were glad that they let you sleep in but you were missing out.
Again.
Even though you finally had the time to actually come along. You shook your head to get rid of the thoughts quickly, they meant well. And them not being there until lunch meant you could maybe be a bit more productive than last night.
After a long warm shower you actually styled your hair for once, curling the edges slightly and bundled yourself up to go down to the city.
The air outside was crisp and smelled like rain when you took a deep breath through your nose. You wandered without much direction, letting your feet carry you past a few small shops before finding a little cafe tucked between two houses. Its windows were fogged up and it seemed like half of the town was squeezed into the little space.
The bell above the door chimed quietly when you made your way in. A couple sitting near the window stood up the moment you entered so you settled into their seat as soon as they gathered their used cutlery. You ordered a coffee and one cookie and pulled out your Ipad. You almost didn’t notice the waitress returning with your order, already flipping through your notes. It was almost embarrassing how much comfort you found in pharmacology charts.
Almost an hour later you took a toilet break and used the chance to look at your phone.
Yujin:
where u at?? we're back!!!
You smiled a little and typed back a short reply:
Y/N
At a café. I didn’t feel like staying in the house alone.
Thanks for letting me sleep in
Yujin:
No worries.
It was boring anyway.
There were like 3 sheeps and a fuck ton of mud.
Haneul was excited tho so it’s whatever
She is napping rn and we’re gonna nap as well. She woke the whole house up at 7 am.
What do you wanna eat for Lunch later? Jay is cooking
Y/N
Yikes.
I don’t really care.
Text me when you wake up, I’ll come back to the house <3
Yujin:Will do <3
Fifteen minutes passed, maybe twenty, before someone tapped your shoulder. You glanced up, expecting it to be the waitress. But when you turned around it wasn’t the waitress, it was Sunghoon.
His hair was slightly tousled from the wind and he was holding up two cups, wearing that same quiet smile you’d seen on him a hundred times before. One that was more eyes than mouth.
"Hey," he said, setting the drinks down before sliding into the seat across from you.
You blinked. “Hi Sunghoon. What are you doing here?”
“I didn’t feel like sleeping,” he said shrugging. “And I have to work a bit. One of my clients has been sending me emails nonstop. So I figured I could join you.”
“I-uhm- sure,” your gaze dropped to the cup he placed in front of you. It was Yuja tea. Your favorite.
He leaned back in his chair, unzipping his laptop bag. “I swear this client is causing me to grow gray hair prematurely,” he said casually.
You huffed a soft laugh, watching as he opened his laptop. “I know a good hair dresser that could help out with that.”
“Thank you Y/N. I’ll come back to that in a few years.”, he just chuckled.
You stared at him for a second longer than you should’ve before shaking yourself out of it and turning back to your tablet. “I’m sure it will be sooner than later if you can’t catch a break even on a vacation day,” you murmured without thinking.
He glanced at you, eyes crinkling. “Look at who’s talking.”
You didn’t reply, just hummed and pouted at him.
You were halfway through your second set of flashcards when Sunghoon asked, voice soft but curious, “Did you sleep alright?”
You leaned back a little. “Yeah. Thanks for saving me from the Haneul alarm clock, by the way.”
That made him laugh quietly. “You owe me big. She was already so energetic at 6 am, I barely managed to keep her from waking up the whole house. Jay the traitor sent her to us cause he wanted to continue sleeping.”
You raised your brows. “He sent her to us? Why that? How did you manage to keep her quiet?”
“Bribery,” he said immediately. “I promised her the chocolate bread Yujin brought if she let you sleep. And that kid loves me. I am officially the favourite uncle so it's just logical.”
You smiled behind your cup. “You’re a real hero.”
“I know,” he said dramatically, then lowered his voice. “Honestly though, I don’t get how she has that much energy.”
You snorted. “Probably from her mom. Minhee was a morning person afterall. And I mean don’t complain you used to wake me up at the crack of dawn when you went out for a run.”
He gave you a look. “Please. Just cause you’re lazy and an evening person, I don’t have to be.”
“Still am,” you said with a grin. “Don’t judge me.”
“I’m not judging,” he said, mock-serious. “I’m just saying I’ve seen you do night shifts on nothing but Coke Zero and mint gum. And suffer when having to go to a morning shift even though you slept a whole 8 hours.”
You rolled your eyes, biting back a laugh. “I function just fine, thanks.”
He hummed like he didn’t believe you, then went back to typing something into his laptop.
For a few minutes, the only sounds were the tapping of keys and the soft hum of conversation around you.
It was strangely… familiar. The two of you, sitting in this calm pocket of the afternoon, sharing space again. Studying or working together in silence. ────────────────────────
Almost two hours later Jake called Sunghoon to come back to the house. Everyone, including the actual toddler, had woken up from their nap and they were about to start cooking.
You looked up from your Ipad to look outside. Streams of rain were streaking down the foggy windows.
“Mhm,” you said, wiping the condensation from the window with your sleeve. “Looks like we are going to get a free shower.”
Sunghoon's gaze followed yours. “I think I have an umbrella in my bag. Wait a second.”
He leaned down to lift his laptop bag onto his lap. A small teddy plush was dangling from its handle.
You chuckled and reached forward to turn it into a front facing position while Sunghoon was searching around in his bag. “This is cute. Where did you get that?”
“A colleague gifted it to me for my birthday last year,” he said absentmindedly, “ah ha! Look at that. An umbrella.”
You laughed at him when he triumphantly held it up into the air. “Now nothing is stopping us from eating whatever Jay cooked!”
You both slipped your shoes on and stepped out into the drizzle. The umbrella opened with a snap, and Sunghoon tilted it slightly toward you as you huddled close, bags clutched to your chests.
After five steps, your shoulder was already soaked.
“Can you hold it higher?” you asked, trying to wedge in under the tiny canopy.
“I am holding it higher. You’re just hoarding the dry space,” he shot back, elbowing you lightly.
“Oh, please. I’m sacrificing my entire back right now.”
A gust of wind caught the umbrella from underneath, flipping it slightly and splashing a cold stream of water down both your necks. You shrieked.
You shoved him gently with your shoulder, nearly knocking him into a puddle. “Maybe if you worked out less, there’d be more room under here.”
He snorted. “Don’t blame the broad shoulders. You yourself said my arms are delectable, if i might remind you.”
“I did!”, you said, pressing your side closer into his, “but I didn’t know the consequences of you having a beautiful back and arms would be me being drenched in rain.”
By the time you made it back to the house, your jeans were clinging to your legs, your hair was stuck to your cheeks, and the only dry things were your laptop bags.
You both stopped in front of the door and stared at it.
“Please tell me you have a key,” you said, already knowing the answer.
Sunghoon patted his soaked pockets uselessly. “It’s inside. I didn’t think we’d get locked out in the wilderness.”
You rolled your eyes and reached up to jab the doorbell. From inside, you heard the muffled sound of footsteps and then the click of the lock.
The door swung open and Ningning blinked at you both, horrified.
“Jesus Christ, what did you do?”
Without missing a beat, you shrugged. “Sunghoon and I decided to share a free shower.”
Ningning took one look at the sad excuse for an umbrella dripping on the porch and stepped aside. “You two are a cautionary tale.”
You walked past her with your bag clutched to your chest like a lifeline. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, Ning, I called dibs on being the first one in the proper shower.”
“I didn’t hear anything about dibs,” Sunghoon protested behind you.
“I made it spiritual,” you called over your shoulder. “Go dry your pretty arms somewhere else.”
“Unbelievable,” he muttered, kicking his shoes off.
────────────────────────
Jay had cooked enough to feed an army. The whole table was filled with plates and drinks, most of them non-alcoholic, to your surprise. Hanuel had claimed Sunghoons to be her chair of choice for the dinner.
You’d ended up on the far end of the table, half-listening to a conversation between Heeseung and Jake about whether or not a smart fridge was a worthy investment, but your gaze kept drifting. You weren’t even trying to be subtle about it.
Sunghoon had one arm loosely wrapped around Haneul to steady her, the other wielding a spoon with exaggerated precision.
“Here comes the airplane,” he said, swooping the spoon in mid-air. “It’s approaching the hangar! Landing initiated in three… two… one!”
Haneul squealed and opened her mouth wide, clapping her hands when he made a whooshing sound as the spoon “landed.”
You smiled. You just couldn’t help it.
He did it again. And again. Each time with a new variation. Rocket ship. Puppy taxi. Bubble boat. Her tiny body rocked with laughter, head thrown back as he played along, utterly unbothered by the food smeared across her cheek or the rice sticking to his sleeve.
You watched the scene unfold with something warm and gentle blooming in your chest.
It felt a bit bittersweet at the same time.
You were a stranger in a room full of uncles and aunties, despite knowing all the uncles and aunties for years, god forbid you even helped her being born, but you were never there.
You never gave her a chance to know you as auntie Y/N.
Your eyes stayed on them.
He was so at ease. Smiling, shoulders relaxed, wearing a oversized hoodie, his hair still slightly damp from his shower.
He glanced up once, catching you watching. He gave you a little wave with the spoon before turning back to Haneul.
You looked down at your plate, cheeks flushed, fingers suddenly fidgety.
Jake nudged your elbow. “You okay?”
You nodded quickly. “Yeah. Just… tired.”
Jake hummed and you knew he didn’t believe you. You didn’t believe yourself either.
────────────────────────
After you finished eating and cleaning the dining room, the group gathered in the living room. Haneul had asked if you could watch Cinderella so the whole group decided that, ten adults should somehow squeeze onto the two sofas in front of the TV to watch Cinderella.
Someone had dimmed the lights, and you ended up tucked into one corner of the couch, knees bent, feet slipped under Yunjin’s thighs for warmth. She didn’t even blink, just handed you the end of the blanket.
Sunghoon was on the floor, his back against the couch, Haneul wrapped around him. Her small body had gone lax with exhaustion, one cheek pressed to his chest, her breathing deepening slowly halfway through the movie.
You had your kindle on your lap. You were reading one of the books you downloaded a while ago. It was something sweet and uncomplicated, the kind of story that usually soothed your overworked brain. But tonight, you couldn’t concentrate on the story at all. You signed and closed the book. Your gaze wandered through the room until it was stuck on Sunghoon again.
He wasn’t watching the movie either. His eyes were half-lidded, head tilted slightly toward the toddler, arms looped protectively around her. The flickering light from the screen caught on his lashes and jawline.
Your stomach twisted. Not sharply. Just a soft, odd pull, warm and aching all at once.
He looked good like this. You had such a weak spot for kids and seeing him holding her like that just did something to you.
You ducked your head, trying to focus on your book again. But somehow, your hands wandered. You scrolled past your current novel and opened a medical textbook.
Prenatal Cardiac Anomalies: A Diagnostic Overview.
Somehow the thought of continuing reading through your textbook felt easier than reading a romance novel right now.
────────────────────────
You were tired.
God, you were tired.
But your brain… your brain was still ticking. It didn’t matter how warm the blanket was, how silent the house had gone once everyone scattered to bed. It didn’t matter that Sunghoon was across the room, already passed out, snoring softly into his pillow.
Your eyes stayed open.
You lay there staring at the ceiling for ten minutes. Then twenty. Then maybe thirty. And still, your thoughts didn’t quiet down.
So you slipped out of bed and crept down the stairs to curl up in the armchair in the wintergarden. You told yourself you’d just review a bit more.
Just enough to stop your brain from chewing itself alive.
But ten minutes in, you were still reading the same sentence.
Something about estrogen receptor profiles.
It might as well have been written in Greek.
You read it. Then reread it. Then again.
Your fingers clenched around the edges of your iPad, frustration was simmering somewhere between your sternum and your throat. You knew this topic. You’d studied it three times already. Why wasn’t it sticking? Why did your eyes feel too dry, your brain too foggy and your heart too tight all at once?
You didn’t even hear his footsteps until a voice broke through your haze.
“Y/N?”
You flinched so hard you nearly dropped the iPad.
“Jesus,” you gasped, clutching your chest. “What the fuck, Sunghoon.”
He stepped inside, hoodie tugged over his hair, barefoot. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
You gave him a look and pouted. “Maybe don't sneak on at me then.”
“Sorry,” he said, coming closer to peer onto the glowing screen. “You coming back to bed?”
You shook your head quickly. “I’m fine. I just…couldn’t sleep.”
He looked at you, brow furrowed gently. “So you decided to study?”
“I had to,” you mumbled. “I didn’t finish everything I wanted to finish today.”
“You studied like 4 hours in that cafe today, Y/N.”
“I know, but I am still behind on my plan, since I didn't do enough yesterday.”
He didn’t say anything to that just let himself sink down on the chair opposite to yours, watching you.
You tried to go back to the flashcards, but your fingers were trembling slightly now. You felt stupid. Weak. Like no amount of time would ever be enough to catch up. Like your worth was balancing on how much you crammed into your already overflowing brain. You did study for hours today, but it felt like nothing stuck. Everything you revised was gone.
“You do this often?” he asked after a while, voice quieter.
You hesitated. “Sometimes.”
“Do you always study when you can’t sleep?”
“Not always,” you murmured. “Sometimes I just… go to Jaemin’s room. Or he comes to mine. It helps. Being around someone. You know.”
He nodded slowly, eyes soft. “I get that.”
There was a long pause.
Then, wordlessly, he leaned forward and gently pulled the iPad from your hand. Your fingers twitched, but you didn’t stop him.
“You’re done for today,” he said.
“Sunghoon–”
“You’re done,” he repeated. “Come on.”
You blinked at him, heart thudding. “But I haven’t finished–”
“I know you haven’t.” His voice stayed calm. “But you look like you’re about to cry and that’s when it stops being useful.”
You stared at him for a second longer. Then finally, with a tiny exhale, you let him take your hand and pull you up. He was right, this was just a waste of time at this point.
Neither of you said anything as you padded through the hallway together. He didn’t say a word as you crawled back into your bed and turned to face the wall and finally let your eyes close.
But you knew he was still awake, laying in the bed across from you. You heard him shifting across the room, rustling his blanket in the process.
After a few moments he softly said your name.
“Y/N?”
He moved again and his bed creaked. “Would it help… if we shared one bed?”
You blinked against the darkness of the room but didn’t answer him.
────────────────────────
You came down later than usual the next morning.
The floorboards creaked under your socks as you descended the stairs, the scent of toasted bread and instant coffee already filling the air.
When you turned the corner, Sunghoon was sitting at the table, a bowl of cereal in front of him. His hair was slightly damp and unstyled and he looked just as tired as you felt. His laptop was in front of him, the light reflecting in his glasses and he was frowning at the screen.
“Morning,” Jake offered cheerfully, mouth half-full of toast.
You smiled faintly at him, tearing your gaze away from Sunghoon's figure. He shouldn’t be working right now, he was on vacation. “Morning.”
You moved around the kitchen on autopilot, pouring yourself a cup of coffee and grabbing a plate.
You sat down diagonally across from Sunghoon, not quite opposite, since you knew he didn’t like it when drinks stood behind his laptop. He didn’t look at you, but his foot nudged the table leg once, just enough to make the water in your glass ripple slightly and you look up. He smiled and winked at you. You just rolled your eyes and went back to your slice of toast.
Maybe you should have just said yes yesterday. You knew he didn’t sleep until he was sure you’ve fallen asleep, he never did. He was always too afraid that you would go back to studying if he slept before you did.
You did your best and fell asleep shortly after laying down, your body was apparently exhausted enough to just sleep and overpower your ever running brain in the comfort of knowing someone, of knowing Sunghoon, was there.
────────────────────────
The small market Yunjin made you go to was filled with noise and way too many people.
The air was sticky and warm in the alleyway the market was located in, thick with the scent of frying oil and sweet batter, fresh fruit and grilled meat. You weaved your way past a stall selling steamed buns, following your friends. They were trying to find the small samgyeopsal restaurant Ningning found on Naver yesterday.
You slowed down a bit to ask Sunghoon if he would like to get some tangerines for his mom. She loved tangerines, especially those from the South of the country, claiming they taste sweeter and better. Whenever you were on trips, Sunghoon and you always brought some for her.
You stopped walking when you realized he wasn't behind you anymore, and turned around to scan over the crowd of people. He was a few meters behind you, by the fish tanks, big plastic tubs filled with live octopus and silver fish darting through shallow water.
Sunghoon stood just behind the crowd, Haneul slumped against his shoulder, pacifier in her mouth, red-eyed and sniffly.
She must’ve cried recently, her face was blotchy and her nose was slightly runny. It was pressed against Sunghoon's shoulder, little hands fisted in the back of his shirt. His free hand was gently supporting her back, rocking her ever so slightly as they watched the fish dart around in the shallow water.
You frowned. Haneul had been off all morning, a bit clingier, a bit paler, her usual chatter reduced to sleepy murmurs. The market noise and heat couldn’t have been helping.
“She didn’t want to be set down,” he said when you approached, his voice quiet. “She started crying again when I tried. We even had to get out her pacifier," he grumbled, seemingly unhappy about that fact.
You stepped closer and softly reached out to stroke her cheek with the back of your finger. “Oh no, Haneulie. Don’t cry, pretty girl,” you murmured.
The toddler blinked at you, her lower lip wobbling around the pink piece of plastic in her mouth.
You turned to Sunghoon. “Do you think she’d be okay with a little sugar?”
He glanced down at Haneul, then up at you. “Sure. I’m not her dad. Why would I say no to sugar? We will just give her back to Jay if she has a sugar high.”
You laughed under your breath. “Good point. I'll be back in a second. Don't move.”
With that, you turned on your heel and started weaving through the crowd again, dodging a group of elderly women with shopping trolleys to reach the fried snack stall. You came back with three twisted dough sticks wrapped in parchment, still warm in your hands.
"Here," you said already in motion to hand Sunghoon one of the kwwaebggis, when you realized he had his hands full of a toddler, "I thought you'd like one aswell."
"Thank you, Y/N", he said and tried to lower Haneul to the ground. She made an unhappy noise and strengthened her grip on Sunghoon's Shirt.
He paused mid-motion. “Okay, okay, I got you,” he murmured, adjusting her on his hip again. “No setting you down today.”
Her head dropped against his shoulder with an exaggerated sigh through her pacifier.
“She’s really attached to you, huh?” you asked, watching them both with an amused smile as you tore off a piece of the warm kwabaegi.
Sunghoon gave a helpless little shrug. “I don’t know what I did to deserve this loyalty, but I’m too scared to test it.”
You laughed softly and stepped a bit closer to the two of them. “Look what I got you,” you said softly, holding out a piece of the kwabaegi to the toddler.
She looked at it and shook her head, burying it more in Sunghoon's shoulder.
"Would you like to give me your pacifier to try? I promise it's very yummy, Haneul.", you said, offering the piece again, but she pushed it away with her tiny palm.
You ate the piece to demonstrate to her that it really is yummy. "Mhm. I really like kwabaegi, Haneul. Uncle Sunghoon does too."
He nodded and adjusted her in his arms. "You should really try one, baby. I am sure you'll feel better afterwards."
She just whined a ‘no’ again.
“Look, Haneul-ah,” you cooed, exaggerating your tone, ripping a piece of kwabaegi off and making an airplane motion towards Sunghoons mouth. “Uncle Hoonie says this is soooo yummy. Right, Uncle?”
Sunghoon’s eyes widened for a beat before he caught on. “Oh, yes. Delicious.” He leaned forward slightly and opened his mouth like a child, eyes wide and dramatic. “Mmm! So yummy!” he moaned, chewing the tiny piece you gave him like it was the best thing he’d ever tasted.
You snorted and ate a piece as well. “See? ”
Then you held out a small piece toward Haneul, who’d lifted her head just a little, eyes watching closely.
“Wanna try, baby?” you asked softly.
She hesitated… then grabbed her pacifier, let it fall to her shirt and opened her mouth.
You placed the kwabaegi gently on her tongue, and she blinked, chewed slowly and then reached for another piece from your hand, a clear sign of approval.
Sunghoon chuckled. “I see how it is. You trust Y/N, but not me.”
“She just knows I am the cooler one between the two of us,” you replied sweetly.
“Thats unfair and a lie. I did the dramatic chewing and everything!”
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t wipe the grin off your face as you broke off another bit and handed it to her. Haneul leaned forward eagerly this time, her little fingers brushing yours as she took it.
You fished a small pack of tissues out of your bag and started gently wiping the powdered sugar from the corner of Haneul’s mouth, when the three of you finished your twists. Then you handed Sunghoon the tissue while reaching for her water bottle.
“Here, have a sip,” you said, coaxing the toddler into taking a few careful gulps. She wriggled on his hip but didn’t protest much. She was already visibly more content, cheeks flushed from the heat and her earlier tears, but she was neither pouting nor asking for her pacifier so you took that as a win.
Sunghoon stood still, holding the pack of tissues in one hand and watching you quietly.
You glanced up and caught him staring.
“What?” you asked, a teasing lilt in your voice as you dabbed Haneul’s sticky fingers.
He blinked, then immediately looked away, letting out a small laugh, the awkward kind he did when he was trying to downplay something.
“Nothing,” he said quickly, taking a step back only to bump into a lady browsing dried squid behind him.
“Ah, sorry!” he murmured, half-bowing in apology, before shuffling back toward you with a sheepish wince.
You raised a brow. “Sunghoon. What was that?”
“Nothing,” he repeated, but his ears were turning red.
You didn’t drop it. “Seriously. What?”
He hesitated, then gave a tiny shrug, eyes darting to the toddler in his arms and back to you.
“It’s just… I don’t know.” His voice dipped lower. “That was really cute. You, with her.”
You blinked.
He scratched the back of his neck with his free hand, clearly regretting saying it out loud. “I mean…seeing you with kids. Your whole face just lights up. It’s…yeah. That.”
For a moment, all the noise of the market faded.
You swallowed, caught off guard by the softness of his tone, by how gently he was looking at you now.
You cleared your throat, quickly turning back to fish another tissue out of your bag, trying not to read too much into what he just said.
“Well, good thing I’m not completely useless,” you said, half under your breath.
Sunghoon smiled at that and Haneul reached forward again, tugging on your sleeve.
“Aunt Y/N… carry me?” she asked softly, rubbing her cheek against Sunghoon’s shirt.
You blinked, momentarily stunned. “Me?” you asked gently. “Oh sweetheart, I’m not nearly as strong as your uncle. I think he’s better for the job.”
Haneul frowned in protest, her bottom lip wobbling.
“But,” you added quickly, holding out your hand, “I can hold your hand while Uncle Honnie carries you, if that’s okay with you.”
She sniffled once, then nodded solemnly, her tiny fingers curling around yours.
You nodded and smiled at Haneul, who slumped back down onto Sunghoon's shoulder, again, her hand clasped in yours between you.
And when you glanced up, Sunghoon was already looking at you.
Not at the toddler, not at the path ahead. At you.
With a look so full of fondness it nearly knocked the breath from your chest.
You knew that expression. It was the same one he used to wear during study sessions in your kitchen. When you were half-asleep in your shared bed in the morning. When you’d laugh too hard at something dumb and he’d just… stare. Quietly.
Your stomach flipped, and you looked away with a soft smile
Together, with Haneul nestled between you, the three of you made your way back toward the group. And for just a second, your brain jumped to a version of you and Sunghoon where you weren’t carrying your friend's daughter, but your own.
────────────────────────
By the time you got back to the house, everyone was exhausted from hiking all day.
Haneul had refused to let go of either of you since the market. She clung to Sunghoon during the cable car ride, her tiny fingers twisted into his jacket. And when the buggy proved too slow and bumpy, she’d whined until you picked her up, only to eventually find her way right back into Sunghoon’s arms, where she dozed off on his chest for most of the walk back from the skywalk.
Now, sprawled out across the largest sofa, she lay curled into Sunghoon’s chest, half-asleep again, one small hand still gripping yours with determined force. Her hair was mussed, her cheeks pink from the sun, and her other fist clutched the sleeve of Sunghoon’s hoodie like a lifeline.
The rest of the group had put on Knowing Bros, half-watching while chatting quietly, half-dozing through the comfortable hum of the evening.
A heavy weight pressed into your side suddenly and you heard Heeseung grunt, while he tried to get comfortable in the small space between you and Ningning.
“Heeseung,” you groaned, cracking one eye open as you felt your entire side get squashed into the person on your right.
"Just continue sleeping Y/N. I'll just get comfortable here," he mumbled curling around his fiance and stealing part of your blanket you were sharing with her.
“You're stealing my space and my blanket,” you muttered, elbowing Heeseung without much force. There was nowhere to go, except closer to Sunghoon, who didn’t seem to mind when you shifted closer, pressed shoulder to shoulder now.
He didn’t say anything, just adjusted the blanket around Haneul’s little body to cover you as well and let her keep dozing on his chest.
The movie played on, and you decided you’d just keep your eyes closed. Not asleep, just letting yourself rest. You didn't want to fall asleep and miss out. You loved being with your friends, you loved how clingy Haneul was to 'Aunt Y/N' so you were simply resting your eyes a bit.
“Wow,” Jake muttered, grinning. “You two stole Jay’s kid and just… went straight back to being disgusting. Feels like high school all over again.”
Sunghoon huffed, not annoyed, but not amused either. His voice was low, careful. “Can we not do this right now? She’s finally sleeping.”
Jay chuckled. “She didn't get enough Coke Zero today.”
“Yeah,” Sunghoon said. You could feel him shift, tucking the blanket tighter around you both. “She isn't sleeping at night. She comes up with us and gets ready and then an hour later goes downstairs to study. I had to talk her into going back to bed yesterday.”
There was a small pause, the only sound in the room coming from the TV.
“I didn’t say that,” he muttered. “It’s just… She’s tired.”
“She’s always tired,” Yunjin said gently. “That’s what happens when you work twelve-hour shifts and study during breaks.”
“No one would be surprised if she was burned out,” Heeseung added. “Honestly, with the way she pushes herself? She hasn’t slowed down in years.”
There was a beat of silence. Then Yunjin spoke again, her voice tinged with guilt: “I kind of hoped this trip would be a break for her. Some actual rest. Not… cramming after we all pass out.”
Your fingers curled slightly under the blanket.
You hadn’t meant for them to know. You were just trying. Trying to stay on track. Trying to not fall behind. Trying to not lose the rhythm you’d worked so hard to keep.
Sunghoon’s voice was quiet now, something resigned in it. “She just doesn’t know how to stop. She never has."
Ningning shifted beside you and whispered, “She’s gonna be okay, right?”
Sunghoon exhaled. “She’s Y/N. She’ll keep going. Even when she shouldn’t.”
You wished you could say something. Reassure them. Reassure yourself.
But instead, you curled slightly closer and let yourself feel what you usually didn’t have time to: the ache of being known and the comfort of being loved, even if it was from behind closed eyes.
────────────────────────
It was past midnight again, and the house had long since gone quiet. The others had woken you up when they got ready for bed and you followed them upstairs, bruising your teeth, washing your face and curling into your bed, trying to fall asleep again.
But sleep just wouldn’t come.
You hadn’t reviewed any of your material today. Not even one section. Not one concept. You should’ve done more.
You needed to do more.
The exam wasn’t going to wait for you to stop being tired. You knew that.
So when Sunghoon's soft snores filled the silence in your bedroom, you silently removed the thick blanket of your body and crept out of the room, hoping he would stay asleep tonight. You felt incredibly guilty for worrying them all, but there was nothing you could do, nothing would help quiet down your head but finishing what you had on your study planner for today.
The soft creaks of the old wood under your feet were the only sounds as you tiptoed downstairs.
You settled on the stairs between the living room and the winter garden, legs tucked beneath you.
You weren’t reading anything. Not really. Just staring at the same sentence for the fourth time, not even blinking.
The door creaked open and you flinched slightly.
You didn’t look up until he dropped beside you on the stairs, a water bottle in one hand, his sweatshirt pulled on backwards.
“I thought you were asleep,” you said quietly.
“I was,” he replied, voice even quieter. “Until I wasn’t.”
You both sat in silence for a minute.
Then, finally, he asked, “Do you know why this keeps happening?”
You stared at your cards, thumb brushing one edge again and again. “I can’t shut it off. My brain. It just… keeps going.”
He just nodded slowly, indicating he was listening, so you kept going.
“After we broke up,” you said, your voice low, hesitant, “I was at the hospital.”
He blinked. “Yeah, I know. You worked there even before we broke up.”
“No,” you said. “Not as an employee. I was in the ER. I fainted during my shift. They diagnosed me with burnout.”
His head turned toward you sharply. “You what?”
“In the middle of rounds,” you said softly. “One second I was standing, next thing I know, I was in a hospital bed with an IV. They said it was burnout.”
“Jesus, Y/N…” he whispered.
You gave a small, humorless smile. “I think I knew it was coming. I just didn’t want to admit it.”
His brows furrowed, his jaw tense.
“It wasn’t just the job,” you continued staring outside. “It was the exams, the night shifts, the pressure, that one asshole attending who made my life hell and still trying to be a good girlfriend and friend. Going on dates, and meeting up with the others.”
You drew a shaky breath. “And then… Minhee.”
His head turned at you but you shook your head, not wanting to look at him.
“That night…” you said slowly. “I think that broke something in me. I’ve never lost anyone before. Not like that. I mean I’ve lost patients yeah. But no one I knew personally. And then suddenly I was holding her hand while her heart stopped. Watching my colleagues trying to save Hanuel's life while her mother was dying right there.”
He closed his eyes.
You nodded. “I think everything that had been stacking up just… collapsed after that. I checked out. I barely remember the two months after.”
He opened his eyes and looked at you, raw and unguarded. “I am so sorry Y/N.”
You didn’t mean to say it, not really, but your voice came out anyway, small and rough.
“I just would’ve needed you back then.”
Sunghoon didn’t move.
You swallowed hard. “Not to fix anything. Not even to do much. Just… a little understanding. I wasn’t avoiding you because I didn’t care. I was drowning. Studying felt like survival, and everything else, dates, trips, even replying to texts, it felt like walking barefoot through fire.”
His voice was barely above a whisper. “Why didn't you tell me, Y/N?”
“I didn't know how to,” you said. “You were as close to burning out as I was. We barely even saw each other, and if we did, every conversation we had was around school or my residency or we fought.”
You felt him watching you.
“I’ve never stopped worrying about you,” he said eventually, voice thick. “Not once since we broke up. We’ve known each other since kindergarten, Y/N. I thought I knew you better than anyone.”
“You did, probably still do.”
“I didn’t know you were collapsing at work,” he said. “I didn’t know you were–fuck, I didn’t help. I kept pushing you to spend time with me when you clearly weren’t doing okay, and I didn’t even see it.”
“Sunghoon.” You finally turned to him. “You were going through the same thing. You were studying for your bar exam. Your internship. Your parents were on your ass about everything. You weren’t supposed to fix me.”
“I still feel like I should’ve seen it,” he murmured.
You exhaled slowly, your head tipping just enough to rest against his shoulder.
“It wasn’t your fault,” you said. “It wasn’t mine either. It just… happened. Life just happened.”
There was a long pause until he broke the silence.
“I’m sorry.”
You didn’t lift your head. You just waited, breath held tight in your chest.
“I missed you so much,” he said, his voice wavering a bit. “And I hated myself for how things ended. For how I let it get to the point where we couldn’t even talk without hurting each other.”
Your throat tightened.
“I knew you weren’t okay. Not really,” he went on, a little steadier now. “And then…then you just… disappeared. Cut everyone off like we were part of the problem. And maybe we were.” He huffed out a short breath. “I asked my mom about you a few times. But I stopped. I didn’t want to get her hopes up, you know how she is. She would’ve started preparing wedding invitations.”
You let out a sound that was half-laugh, half-sigh.
He didn’t laugh.
“I just didn’t want to believe we’d gone from everything to nothing. But I didn’t know how to reach you without making it worse. So I stayed away.”
You shifted just slightly, your hand brushing his.
“I missed you too.”
You were quiet once more, letting the sound of rain falling against the windows of the wintergarden fill the silence.
After a few minutes you spoke again.
"I think it's happening again," you said quietly, staring straight ahead. “Me burning out.”
Sunghoon hummed lightly, just enough to tell you he was listening.
You closed your eyes. “My last shift, it was NICU. We lost two babies. Two. I had to tell the parents. And I fucking hate that part. You never get used to it. How could I? Their whole world just…” You exhaled sharply. “It’s gone. And they look at you like you’re supposed to make it make sense.”
His hand found yours and he intervened your fingers, softly squeezing them.
“I love this job,” you went on, voice thinner now. “Or I used to think I did. I love the science, the surgeries, the rush of helping someone survive something impossible. But lately… I don’t know. I feel like I’m barely surviving. Like I’m pretending really hard every day. And no matter how hard I try, it’s never enough.”
A beat passed. Two.
Then you softly continued: “I think I just needed you back then. Even just a little. You didn’t have to fix anything. I just–” your voice caught. “I just needed someone to say I wasn’t crazy for feeling like I was drowning. That I was still me, even when I wasn’t holding it all together. Jaemin does that now. I think it's because he understands the situation I am in the best. He and his boyfriend are struggling a lot at the moment too. Will probably until we had our exam. We're selling our body and soul to work and the bar exam.”
Sunghoon didn’t speak right away. You could hear the sound of him swallowing.
“You should’ve told me,” he said eventually. “Even now. You shouldn’t be carrying this alone. I am glad you're telling Jaemin how you're feeling.”
“I didn’t want to be a burden.”
“You never were.” He turned his head toward you then, and your gazes met. “Y/N, you were right, we were both breaking back then. I think I was too scared to admit I was burning out and the fact that you weren't saying anything about overworking myself annoyed me. I saw my friends' girlfriends being attentive and making them go out on dates to distract them. I knew you were stressed, I knew it. And I was still pissed you wouldn't look after mw, when I should have probably done that for you, and should have tried fixing our relationship.”
That admission cracked something in you.
You shifted slightly, resting your forehead gently against his shoulder, your voice barely audible now. “I didn’t need you to fix anything. I'm sorry I couldn't be a good girlfriend at the time. I just–I just needed you to stay.
“I’m here now,” he murmured, squeezing your fingers again.
You nodded against him.
For the first time in years, you actually felt like crying. Your eyes burned, and you blinked aggressively, to stop your tears from falling. You weren’t going to cry. You couldn’t cry. Not again. You were over this, over him. Or at least you liked to pretend you were.
But before you could even swallow it back, you heard it, the softest of inhales, the quietest shift in posture.
You looked up.
Sunghoon had tears in his eyes.
Your breath caught. Not because you didn’t think he’d care–you knew he did. But seeing it… seeing him like that, cracked something clean in your chest.
You hit him lightly on the arm, voice a little hoarse. “You crybaby.”
His mouth twitched. “Me? Look at you, Y/N. You’ve got, like, two tears in your eyes, while I only have one. ”
You let out a half-laugh, wiping your face with your sleeve. “You’re such an idiot.”
He smiled.
The tension eased, just slightly, and he tilted his head toward the house.
“Come on,” he said gently. “Let’s go back inside. Just lie down for a bit. Fifteen minutes, max. If it doesn’t work, you can go back to your flashcards or your mad scientist scribbles or whatever the hell it is you’re doing.”
You gave him a look.
“I mean it,” he said, soft but firm. “Just try.”
You hesitated. Then nodded. And let him lead the way.
You let him pull you back toward the bedroom without protest this time. The cool night air clung to your skin. Your fingers brushed as you walked up the stairs, but neither of you said anything.
Inside, the room was dim and still smelled like him, laundry detergent, something clean and woodsy, and a faint trace of his cologne.
“Can you…”, you cleared your throat, “would it be okay for you if we slept in one bed?”
“Sure,” he nodded andpulled his blanket of his bed, waiting until you climbed into yours.
When he settled beside you, it felt… natural. Not easy, not uncomplicated, but familiar in a way your body remembered even if your mind wasn’t sure how to handle it.
You shifted closer, letting your head come to rest on his chest. His arm moved around you instinctively, pulling you in just enough.
But under your cheek, you could feel his heartbeat, quick and uneven, a little too fast.
You blinked against his shirt. “Your heart’s racing.”
There was a pause, then a small, sheepish laugh. “I’m a little nervous, okay?”
You lifted your head slightly to look at him.
“I’m in bed with my ex,” he added, grinning softly. “That’s a first. Cut me some slack.”
You rolled your eyes and smacked his stomach lightly. “You’re so annoying.”
He chuckled low in his throat, the sound rumbling under your cheek. “And yet you still chose my bed.”
“Shut up, Park Sunghoon.”
“Alright, alright.” He held up his free hand in mock surrender, then shifted again, settling more comfortably. You closed your eyes again, letting the silence wash over you.
You weren’t sure when his fingers started moving again.
At first, you barely noticed it. Just the faintest drag of skin on skin, slow, barely-there motions on your back where your shirt had ridden up slightly.
You stayed still, breathing shallow and quiet.
But then he began tracing shapes. Letters.
You tensed slightly.
A straight line… a curve… another curve…
“H.”
Your brows knit together in the dark. He was spelling something.
“I.”
You bit the inside of your cheek. It took all your focus not to turn your head and answer.
“S-T-I-L-L.”
Still.
He paused for a second. You weren’t sure if he thought you’d fallen asleep or if he just needed a breath.
Then more.
“H-E-R-E.”
Still here.
“A-L-W-A-Y-S”
You closed your eyes. Squeezing them shut to stop them from watering again.
He kept going, slower now. His fingers drifted over your spine, across your shoulder blade, gentle and soft. He traced small hearts once. A spiral. A star. A shaky infinity sign that made your lips twitch the tiniest bit.
Your heart pulled in two directions, overwhelmed by how tender it was, and aching because it had ever stopped being normal.
You didn’t remember falling asleep. Only that somewhere between the letter R and the little loop he drew beneath your ribs, your mind finally, finally, shut up.
And this time, sleep came easily.
────────────────────────
When you woke up the next morning you were alone in bed. Sunghoon's side was still warm, so you assumed he just got out of bed a few minutes before you. You yawned and stretched yourself before making your way to the bathroom and then downstairs, where you found Jay and Sunghoon on the sofa, Hanuel curled onto Jay's chest watching bluey.
"Good morning.", you said, letting yourself fall onto the sofa next to Jay.
"Good morning Y/N."Jay greeted gently combing through his daughter's black hair.
Her face was flushed. "Is Haneul okay?", you asked and reached out to put a hand on the toddler's forehead. "She is a bit warm, isn't she."
"Yeah she got sick.", Jay mumbled looking down at her with a worried facial expression. “She woke us up twice tonight. Seol spent half of the night down here, reading and watching TV. She is sleeping upstairs now.”
“Mhm,” you said touching your and Jay's forehead, “she definitely has a mild fever. Did you bring any medication? I don’t have child approved medication on me, but I could go down to the farmacy?”
“Oh. No no, don’t worry about that. I’ll go down by myself when she wakes up again. I just don’t want her to wake up right now, she has just fallen asleep.”
“Ah Jay. It’s not a problem. Imma get Haneul the good stuff and she will be up and about in no time.”, you said, lifting yourself from the sofa. “Are the others still sleeping?”
“Yunjin and Tae are on a sunset hike and Hee and Ningning are probably still sleeping. Jake and Hyerim are doing god knows what.”, Sunghoon answered, lifting himself enough to look into your eyes. “Do you want me to come along?”
“No it’s fine, Sunghoon. Just continue being a pillow. I know my way around medications.”, you smiled at him and walked back upstairs.
────────────────────────
When you came back from the pharmacy, almost everyone was flopping around in the living room. A rerun of Hotel De Luna was running on the TV, while the others were spread across the living room. Yunjin had returned from her hike and was now tucked into a beanbag with Tae sharing her blanket, both sipping warm drinks. Ningning was sprawled across Heeseung’s lap, sleeping in a seemingly very uncomfortable position. Jake and Hyerim were talking to themselves.
The only person who looked truly awake was Sunghoon, who sat in the corner of the couch, his long legs stretched out in front of him, hair still slightly tousled. He looked relaxed, almost peaceful.
You walked in quietly, the door clicking shut behind you. He turned toward the sound instinctively, eyes softening when they landed on you.
“Mission successful?” he asked.
You lifted the paper bag triumphantly. “She’ll be back to bossing us around in no time.”
A few of the others hummed in acknowledgment, but most were too absorbed in the episode or their own tired haze to respond.
A few minutes later, you crossed the room and dropped into the open space beside Sunghoon with a dramatic sigh. You were holding your Kindle in one hand and tugging the edge of the blanket with the other.
He didn’t say anything, just shifted slightly. You nestled into the sofa, tucking your legs up and leaning into his warmth.
His hand rested loosely around your shoulder.
You didn’t say anything, either. Just opened your Kindle and flipped through a few pages of a medical casebook, pretending to read.
Truthfully, your attention was split, maybe 30% on the text, and the rest on the steady rhythm of his breathing, the way your body fit so easily against his again, the quiet intimacy that still lingered despite everything unspoken. You probably should really speak about what was happening right now, how you just shared a bed for the night, how you almost automatically curled back into him here on the sofa.
He shifted once to help you get more comfortable, tugging the blanket up slightly over your legs.
Somewhere in the background, IU’s voice echoed through the room, wistful and distant.
────────────────────────
You were half-curled into Sunghoon’s side, Kindle balanced against your thigh, when soft footsteps padded down the stairs.
Everyone turned instinctively. Jay was holding a sleepy but clearly stubborn Haneul in his arms. Her hair was flattened to one side, and her cheeks were still flushed, but her eyes lit up as she spotted you across the room.
“Oh no,” Jay said dryly. “She saw her targets.”
You smiled and waved. “Hey, baby.”
Haneul wriggled immediately, demanding to be put down, and tottered toward the couch with single-minded purpose. You shifted to make space between yourself and Sunghoon, assuming she’d collapse into his lap.
But she didn’t.
Instead, she reached for you, tugging at your arm with surprising insistence. “Auntie.”
You blinked. “Me?”
Haneul nodded seriously. “Wanna sit with you.”
“Oh,” you said, glancing briefly at Jay, then Sunghoon, who just shrugged. “Okay, come here then.”
You lifted her gently into your lap, wrapping the blanket around the two of you as she cuddled in, her body still warm with fever. She exhaled with a small sigh and pressed her cheek to your chest, thumb slipping into her mouth.
A few seconds passed before she spoke again. “Read me something.”
You laughed softly. “I don’t have any kids books, sweetheart.”
“I’ll get one,” Sunghoon said, already pushing to his feet. He disappeared toward the hallway bookshelf and returned a minute later with a battered picture book in one hand and his laptop under his arm.
You adjusted Haneul against your chest and cracked the book open. The toddler watched intently as you began to read in a soft, lilting voice.
Sunghoon flipped open his laptop beside you, fingers flying over the keyboard. His brows were furrowed in concentration.
You glanced at him once between pages, catching the faint crease between his brows as he focused on whatever email or report had stolen his attention. You weren’t sure if he was even hearing you read, but every time Haneul pointed at a picture or giggled at a silly voice you made, his mouth twitched upward.
Your voice stayed low, barely above a whisper. You were careful not to disturb the others scattered across the room.
The rain hadn’t stopped outside. It clung to the windows, soft and persistent, like background music.
And as you sat there, Haneul tucked into your chest, Sunghoon typing beside you, the slow unfolding of a quiet day, you felt something strange settle into your chest.
A deep, aching kind of comfort.
The kind that made you wish time could slow down just a little more.
────────────────────────
Haneul had dozed off again halfway through the story, one tiny hand still clutching your shirt. You eased the book shut, careful not to jostle her, and glanced sideways just in time to see Sunghoon exhale sharply and throw his head back against the backrest.
He looked tense. His jaw clenched, one hand still hovering over the keyboard as if he couldn’t quite let go of whatever he’d been typing. His laptop remained open, screen glowing faintly in his lap.
“You okay?” you asked quietly.
He didn’t answer right away, just ran a hand through his hair, eyes fluttering shut for a second before opening again.
“I want to commit murder,” he said flatly.
You blinked. “That’s a strong reaction for a children’s book.”
He huffed a mirthless laugh, rubbing at his temple. “No, the client I’m dealing with. Complete nightmare. I’m technically marked as absent and yet they’ve decided today is the perfect day to need everything from me. Everything. Like the rest of my team just collectively forgot how to think without me.”
You frowned. “Wait, they’re contacting you now? I thought you weren’t on call?”
“I’m not,” he said, voice tight. “But apparently my senior colleagues are allergic to solving things on their own. And this client–” he cut himself off, then muttered under his breath, “not even a fucking day of peace.”
You raised a brow at the rare slip in language. “Sunghoon.”
“I know,” he said, eyes flicking over to you with a faint grimace. “Sorry. I just–I really needed this trip. I wanted to turn everything off and just breathe, you know? But now I’ve spent the last hour writing emails.”
You reached out with your free hand, pressing your fingers lightly to the back of his arm in silent reassurance
“I get it,” you murmured. “Really. And… for the record? You’re allowed to be mad. You work harder than half the people I know.”
He shook his head slightly, lips curving into something tired. “Coming from you, that’s saying something.”
You smiled faintly and leaned back against the cushions, careful not to disturb the sleeping toddler.
────────────────────────
The house had settled into that kind of stillness only rain could bring. Outside, water tapped gently against the windows, and inside, nearly everyone had retreated to their rooms or dozed off somewhere across the couch-filled landscape of the winter garden and living room. The only sounds left were the occasional creak of the old roof beams and the faint hum of Bluey reruns still playing on loop.
You hadn’t meant to fall asleep.
But between the warmth of the blanket, Haneul’s little body curled into your chest, and the rhythmic clacking of Sunghoon’s keyboard across from you, your eyes had fluttered shut. The last thing you remembered was thinking I’ll just rest my eyes for a minute.
When you woke again, the light had shifted, softer now, dimmer. Late afternoon. Your head felt heavy against the sofa cushion, and Haneul was still curled into your front, snuffling quietly in her sleep. You didn’t move yet, not wanting to disturb her.
Sunghoon was still there.
Still working. Still typing.
He looked up the moment your breathing changed, gaze softening as it landed on you.
“Hey,” he said, voice quiet. “You’re awake.”
You blinked at him, still halfway between dream and reality.
He leaned forward and, with gentle fingers, brushed a loose strand of hair away from your cheek. The touch was fleeting but warm, and it made your chest ache in that familiar way.
“You should go back to sleep,” he murmured.
You made a low noise in your throat, the closest thing to a protest you could muster. “No. I gotta… study. A little.”
He clicked his tongue in disapproval, leaning back into his corner of the sofa again. “You’re impossible.”
You cracked one eye open. “You’re working too, Park. Don’t throw stones from your glass house.”
That earned a small, reluctant laugh from him. “Touché.
Without moving too much, careful not to jostle Haneul, you reached to your side and grabbed your iPad, placing it on the throw pillow next to you. Your thumb opened your note app with practiced ease, screen glowing softly in the dim room. You balanced it on your knee and leaned your chin against the top of Haneul’s head.
Sunghoon didn’t say anything more. Just returned to his laptop, fingers dancing across the keys, the occasional sigh slipping through his nose.
Hours later you sat curled in the corner of the bench, legs tucked beneath you and the blanket pulled tight around your shoulders. The rain beat gently against the windows of the winter garden, the soft patter rhythmic and constant. You weren’t sure how long you’d been out there, long enough for your tea to go cold and your thoughts to grow heavy.
So much of your life has been made up of early mornings, late nights, bright lights, white coats, cold coffee. And now, watching your friends build lives around you, with children, with partners, with memories you weren’t part of, you wondered if you had ever truly lived at all. Or if you just... worked.
You pulled the blanket tighter around your shoulders, knees tucked to your chest, trying to chase away the cold that wasn’t really from the rain.
You hadn’t meant to think about the what-ifs again, but somehow, watching Sunghoon be so soft with you and Haneul all day, made you feel nostalgic for something you never had. He would’ve been a good dad.
A quiet shuffle of feet behind you made you blink. You didn’t have to look. You knew it was him.
Sunghoon sat beside you, close enough for your shoulders to brush. The bench shifted under his weight.
“Penny for a thought?” he asked gently.
You didn’t answer at first. Just stared out into the night.
“I always thought we’d get married,” you said eventually, voice smaller than you meant it to be. “I thought we’d have a kid by now.”
He didn’t answer for a long moment, just let his gaze follow yours into the wet dark beyond the glass.
“I know,” he said. “I thought that too.”
You finally turned to look at him. His profile was shadowed, the dim lights of the living room catching in his lashes, in the soft fall of his hair.
“I had a whole proposal planned,” he continued. “In Vietnam, you know that trip we were planning? I was gonna pretend we were just taking pictures at sunset, hand you the camera, and when you turned around… I’d be on one knee.”
You let out a shaky breath. “That sounds like something you’d do.”
“Cheesy?”
“Yeah. I would have loved it.”
He laughed under his breath. “I thought so.”
You were quiet for a long moment, then said, “I’m sorry.”
He looked at you, brows drawing slightly together.
“I’m sorry for putting work ahead of everything. For choosing my studies over us. For shutting you out.” You paused, breath catching in your chest. “I thought I could balance it all. But I couldn’t. And then I didn’t know how to tell you that without feeling like I was failing at everything.”
His gaze softened. “Y/N…”
Your throat tightened and you had to fight the tears already.
“I never stopped being proud of you,” he said quietly. “Even after everything. Even when you disappeared on us. I admired the hell out of what you’re doing. You’re literally helping people survive. I could never do what you do.”
You shook your head. “You don’t understand. I’m not–” You swallowed. “Jay. I let Jay down. I let Minhee down.”
He turned to face you more fully. “What?”
Your fingers twisted into the edge of the blanket. “Minhee. She–” You exhaled shakily. “I know it wasn’t my fault, I know that rationally. But every time I see Haneul, all I can think is… maybe I did something wrong. Maybe if I had caught something earlier or said something–”
“Y/N.”
“–or checked her labs again, or called the OB sooner–"
“Y/N,” he said again, firmer this time, but not unkind. “You know it wasn’t your fault.”
“I do,” you whispered. “But that doesn’t make it feel any less like it is.”
He was quiet for a long moment. Then: “Why didn’t you call me?”
“Because we had just broken up,” you said. “Like, just. And I didn’t want to burden you. You were trying to move on. And I felt like I was breaking into a thousand pieces. I kept telling myself I deserved it. That I couldn’t hold onto you and try to be this version of myself I thought I had to become. And you had to be there for Jay. His girlfriend just died and he had a newborn at home. And I couldn't bear being around him or her. I was too afraid he thought I was responsible, even if I wasn't.”
“I would’ve dropped everything,” Sunghoon said, and his voice cracked slightly. “If I had known, I would’ve been there. No questions asked. Heeseung was there for Jay. Jake was too. His and Minhees parents. I could have been there for you.”
You closed your eyes. “I wanted to call you. I did. A hundred times. But I thought… it would just make it worse.”
He looked away, swiping a hand over his face. “I hate myself for not trying harder. For not asking. For just letting you go.”
You exhaled slowly. “Do you think we would’ve made it?"
He paused for a second.
“Yeah,” he said. “If we’d had the time.”
Sunghoon was quiet for a moment again. Then he looked at you more fully, like he was trying to find the pieces of the girl you used to be underneath all the weight you carried now.
“I never told you this,” he said softly, “but I used to love watching you dream. You were so sure about everything. Med school. Family. How you were going to do it all.” He paused. “Even when I didn’t believe in myself, I believed in you.”
You closed your eyes, because if you didn’t you might really cry this time.
“You know,” you whispered, “I feel like I’ve been running nonstop. And now that I’m here… I realize I haven’t really lived. I’ve just… worked.”
He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to.
“I wanted to be with you,” you added, more quietly. “But I didn’t know how to let myself stop. Even now, the thought of having free time makes me anxious.”
He shifted slightly. “I think… we were both overwhelmed. I kept thinking it was just a phase. That we’d get through it.”
“I should’ve fought harder for you.”
“I should’ve known you needed help.”
His hand found yours, slowly, uncertainly, but you didn’t pull away. Your fingers slid into his, warm and familiar.
You turned toward him, your faces closer than they’d been in years.
It would’ve been so easy.
“We shouldn’t…” you began, voice trembling, uncertain.
Sunghoon’s voice was low, steady, but there was a faint, familiar ache beneath it. “You remember when we weren’t supposed to kiss in your room? Back in high school?”
Your breath caught.
You nodded, just barely. “We still did.”
His lips quirked, but it wasn’t quite a smile. It was something softer. Sadder. Full of things unsaid. “Yeah. We still did.”
His hand, warm and tentative, slid up your arm. A slow touch, like he was memorizing the shape of you all over again. Your skin tingled where his fingers passed, your breath tightening in your chest.
There was a pause.
A heartbeat.
Then he leaned in.
You met him halfway.
The first brush of his lips was featherlight. A ghost of contact. Barely there.
You surged forward without thinking, lips slotting against his with years of yearning pressed into the space between you. His hand rose to your jaw, thumb grazing your cheekbone as he angled his head, deepening the kiss with.
His mouth was soft but certain, moving over yours like he already knew how you liked to be kissed, because he did. There was no rush, no hesitation, just heat blooming slow and deep between you as your hands found the front of his sweater, curling into the fabric, anchoring yourself to him.
You shifted closer, your knees brushing his, blanket forgotten as your body tilted into his space. One of his hands cupped the back of your neck now, his fingers sliding into your hair, holding you steady as his other hand gripped your waist, grounding you.
You made a quiet sound, when his teeth grazed your bottom lip. It had been so long. Too long. You’d forgotten how it felt to be wanted like this. To want like this.
When you finally pulled away, your breathing was uneven, lips kiss-bitten and your heart in your throat.
You didn’t move far. Just far enough to rest your forehead against his, eyes closed, trying to gather yourself.
“Sunghoon,” you breathed. It was all you could manage.
His thumb brushed gently over your cheek. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to–”
“Don’t apologize,” you said quickly, shaking your head. “I wanted to.”
He nodded slowly, his breath warm against your cheek. For a long, fragile moment, neither of you moved.
Then you exhaled shakily and leaned into him, your cheek resting against his chest, listening to the quiet thump of his heart. His arms wrapped around you without hesitation, one circling your back, the other rubbing slow, grounding strokes up and down your spine.
“Come to bed,” he said after a moment.
Your gaze wandered to your Ipad again.
“Y/N,” Sunghoon said again, gently. “Come inside?”
You shook your head against his chest. “I can’t.”
There was a pause, long and quiet.
“I think,” you continued slowly, carefully, “if I lie down now, I might actually go crazy. Just for a bit. I… need to be on my own.”
Sunghoon didn’t speak right away.
“Are you sure?” he asked, low.
You nodded. “Yeah. I’ll come in later.”
He lingered for another beat before carefully pushing you off his chest, reaching for the blanket and draping it over your shoulders. “Okay,” he said softly. “I’ll leave the door open.”
You managed a small smile, just enough to make him go.
The quiet that followed wasn’t peaceful. It was taut. Sharp. You felt like a wire pulled tight, humming with tension, unable to let go.
You didn’t cry or move.
You just sat there with your thoughts screaming and the rain falling and the cold slowly sinking in.
Eventually, hours later, exhaustion became heavier than the noise in your chest. It didn’t quiet the buzzing under your skin, but it dulled it.
You stood up slowly, stiff and aching, and crept back inside.
The house was dark and still.
You padded past the living room and paused.
Sunghoon.
He was asleep on the couch, arms crossed, head tilted back awkwardly against the armrest.
Your heart cracked a little.
You crossed the room carefully and crouched beside him, brushing your fingers lightly against his arm. “Sunghoon,” you whispered. “Come on. Let’s go upstairs.”
He blinked awake groggily, frowning like a confused toddler. “Y/N? Are you done?"
You nodded, though it was only half-true. “Yeah. For today. Come on, let’s go upstairs.”
You rubbed your eyes as you climbed the stairs, limbs heavy, thoughts slow and grainy. Sunghoon followed silently behind you, both of you lit only by the soft hallway light someone had left on. The house creaked with wind and sleep.
When you entered your shared room, you automatically turned toward your own bed, but before you even made it halfway, his hand caught your wrist.
You glanced back at him.
His hair was a mess, his sweater wrinkled from the couch, his eyes soft in the dim light. There was no question in them. Just quiet certainty. The same kind he always used to have when he knew exactly what you needed before you did. He didn’t say anything, but gently pulled you towards his bed. You didn’t even hesitate.
It felt like the most natural thing in the world to crawl in beside him.
His arms settled around you like they never forgot how to, one draped around your waist, the other tucked under his pillow. You rested your cheek against his chest, his warmth bleeding into your skin. His heartbeat was steady today, unrushed.
────────────────────────
Seoul greeted you with dull skies and even more rain.
The drive back had been quiet. Peaceful. Haneul had napped for most of it. You rested too, half-asleep with your head against the window, the lull of the road and Sunghoon’s soft humming lulling you into a strange kind of calm.
The car slowed in front of your apartment.
Jay helped unload your bag from the trunk while Sunghoon stood by, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket, his hair still mussed from sleep. Haneul, finally awake again, reached for you as Jay hoisted her up and you kissed her cheek, brushing her fever-warmed curls from her forehead.
“Text me if she gets worse,” you said softly, and Jay nodded.
Sunghoon lingered behind as Jay buckled Haneul back in. He didn’t say much, just held your gaze for a second too long.
“I’ll see you soon?” he asked.
You nodded. “Yeah. Soon.”
There was so much more you wanted to say. But not here. Not now.
You gave them both a small wave and turned toward the building.
────────────────────────
The elevator ride up felt longer than usual.
You dumped your bag, took a quick shower, and pulled your scrubs out of the drawer. It was already getting dark when you finished meal prepping for your nightshift. Seoul pulsed around you, busy and bright, and for once, you didn’t feel entirely swallowed by it.
A few hours later the fluorescent lights buzzed above you, sterile and far too bright.
The ward was quiet tonight.
You sat at the small desk near the nurses’ station, soft white light illuminating the open binder in front of you. The gynecology wing always had this strange hush at night, even with the occasional monitor beeping, and the distant hum of a cleaning machine.
You had just made your rounds, charted vitals, answered two sleepy buzzers, checked one incision site. Everything was fine. Calm.
And yet, you felt like you might break.
You blinked, slowly. Your limbs were heavy. Not because you were tired physically you were drained mentally.
Your eyes wandered toward the window, where the sky was still black and the city lights blurred through mist.
This was the life you had built, wasn’t it? Clean. Efficient. Hard-earned.
You were good at this. You were doing everything right.
And still.
Still, the ache didn’t go away.
You rubbed at your eyes and tried to focus on the chart in front of you, but your thoughts slipped back to him.
To Sunghoon.
You sighed.
Being with him had felt so easy. So natural. His hand against your spine, his voice calling you inside, his quiet laugh when Haneul demanded your attention. His warmth at night.
You swallowed thickly. You had rested. Really rested. And now, sitting under fluorescent lights again, cold coffee untouched, you felt the absence of it so sharply it almost hurt.
The thought of going home to your apartment, to Jaemin and the cats, made your stomach twist.
You weren't lonely, no.
You were longing. For the life you hadn’t let yourself have.
You could’ve had this.
You could’ve had him.
If only you hadn’t kept choosing the next task. The next round. The next shift. The next exam. You had kept saying later, later, later. And then later became never.
Now, in the quiet lull of the gynecology wing, with healthy babies sleeping peacefully just down the hall, you sat and wondered if you had let your whole life pass by in the name of responsibility.
A baby cried softly in the distance. You stood, checked your watch, and made your way down the hall with steady steps.
You were good at this. But you weren’t sure anymore if it was enough
────────────────────────
Two days later the taxi dropped you off just past ten pm. You hadn’t even texted ahead. Your body was still aching from your shift at the hospital today. It wasn’t a particularly hard one but you felt drained. You just wanted to go home. But not to your apartment. Not to Jaemin and the cats. Not to the stack of unread medical journals and the untouched laundry.
You climbed the front steps to Sunghoon’s house slowly, heart pounding hard enough that you could hear it in your ears.
You hesitated for only a second before knocking, not only because it was late, but because what you were going to do might be more than stupid.
The door opened, and his mother’s eyes widened slightly in surprise.
“Y/N?”
“Hi,” you said, voice smaller than intended. You felt suddenly too casual in your hoodie and jeans, hair still damp. “I… Is Sunghoon home?”
She blinked, recovering quickly. “Yes, of course, he just got back from a work dinner not long ago. He’s upstairs. Come in.”
You stepped into the hallway, offering a quiet “Thank you,” before climbing the stairs with shaky knees.
You stopped in front of his door and raised your hand to knock, hesitated, but did it anyway.
There was a shuffling sound, then the door opened a crack. He was undoing his tie, sleeves already rolled up, hair slightly tousled like he’d run his hands through it too many times.
His eyes landed on you, and he froze.
“…Y/N?”
Your throat tightened.
“I–” you started, then stopped. You blinked at him.
You laughed, but it came out broken.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing,” you said quickly, words tumbling out faster than your brain could filter them. “I just– I finished my shift, and I was walking to the station and I couldn’t go home, I just– I kept thinking about you, and that trip, and how I felt like I could finally breathe and laugh and sleep for the first time in months, years, really–”
You were rambling. You knew you were rambling, but you couldn’t stop.
“I missed you,” you said. “I missed you so much it physically hurts sometimes, and I’ve been pretending I’m fine and that my work is enough and that I don’t need anything else, but it’s not true. I miss waking up next to you. I miss fighting over takeout menus. I miss your laugh, and how you always steal my side of the blanket."
Sunghoon just stared at you, lips slightly parted, chest rising and falling slowly.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I’m so sorry I shut you out. I was scared. I thought I had to be this perfect version of myself and I pushed you away thinking it was the right thing, and now I just feel like I ruined everything.”
You looked down at your hands.
“I know it’s not fair,” you said. “And I know it’s going to be hard. I have my exam in February, and things won’t suddenly be easy. But if you’d let me, if there’s even a small part of you that still wants this, I’d love to try again. I want to try to be better. To be someone who doesn’t run. To be your girlfriend again.”
You hadn’t realized you were crying until his hands cupped your face.
“Stop rambling, Y/N,” he said, voice low.
And then he kissed you.
All the air left your lungs at once.
It wasn’t a desperate kiss, or a rushed one. It was slow. Familiar. Steady in a way you hadn’t felt in months. His lips moved against yours like they remembered every detail. His thumb brushed under your eye, catching a stray tear.
When he pulled back, your hands had found their way into his shirt.
“I would love to try again,” he whispered, forehead against yours.
You laughed softly, tears still running down your cheeks. “Are you sure? I come with a lot of baggage.”
He smiled. “You always did.”
You swatted at his shoulder. “Rude.”
But his arms tightened around you.
“I’m serious,” he said. “I don’t care how hard it is. Or how messy. I just want you. Whatever you can give me, I want it.”
You closed your eyes and leaned into his chest. His heartbeat was steady under your ear.
“I don’t want to go home,” you whispered.
“Then don’t.”
You stood there for a long moment, wrapped in his arms like no time had passed at all. Eventually, he tugged you inside the room and closed the door behind you.
“Come on,” he said gently. “You look like you need food and sleep in that exact order.”
“I need a lot of things,” you said. “But sleep next to you sounds like a good start.”
He gave you one of his shirts, a pair of shorts and a towel, to dry your face after you’ve washed it.
When you stepped back into his room, Sunghoon was already under the blanket, hair messy, expression soft.
You crawled in beside him and sighed as his arm wrapped around you.
His warmth seeped into your skin instantly, and for a long moment, you didn’t move.
“This is so nice,” you mumbled into his chest. “Sleeping next to you.”
“You used to complain that I snore,” he said softly.
You smiled. “You do.”
He chuckled, fingers gently brushing along your arm under the blanket.
A few quiet minutes passed like that.
“Your mom’s probably already calling my mom. Bet she thinks there’s finally a realistic chance of sturdy grandkids now.”, you said, readjusting your head on his chest.
Sunghoon snorted but then he stilled.
And when he spoke again, his voice was softer, almost careful.
“Would you want that?” he asked. “Kids… with me?”
Your heart gave a small lurch.
You blinked slowly, shifting so you could look at him in the dark. His eyes were on you.
You swallowed. “Honestly?” You nodded. “I can’t imagine having kids with anyone else.”
He exhaled, like he’d been holding his breath.
You tucked your face back into his chest. “It’s not something I’m ready for. Not now. I don’t even know when I’ll be ready. But… if it ever happens… I’d want it to be with you.”
His arms tightened slightly around you. “If this works out again, really works, I’d love that too. Just not right now. Not while you’re barely sleeping and fighting your way through hospital chaos and studying every free second.”
You let out a breath. He wasn’t just saying what you wanted to hear. He meant it. You knew him well enough to tell.
“I really would love that,” you murmured.
“I want you to have what you’ve worked for,” he said. “Your dream. Your degree. Your own timeline. I’ll support you through all of it. No matter what.”
You blinked back the sudden pressure in your chest and reached for his hand, interlacing your fingers with his beneath the blanket.
“Hoon…,” you whispered, not knowing what to say without breaking down in tears.
“I’m not going anywhere and I won’t let you ever again,” he promised.
And you believed him.
Thank you so much for reading!
Lots of Love,
Patty
all feedback and reblogs are welcome ⭑.ᐟ
⤷ my masterlist ⭑.ᐟ
ᝰ an. ₊ ⊹ dear anons, I hope it was alright I mixed your requests and you enjoyed reading the story, even if I might not have encapsulated your request fully! Burnout is a shit thing to experience. If you feel like you are close to burning out, do take a break. Really. Do. No deadline or test is worth your mental and physical health.
no i am literally begging yall to stop reblogging/posting photos of txt from fansigns posted by Known Sasaengs 😭😭😭 here is a List of the Banned Ones aka Stalkers Im Begging You To Not Support .. i keep it in my pinned. PLEASE keep it on hand and check the watermarks nd block the freaks on twitter
hi!! i know this is kinda out of the blue but i'm just dropping by to let you know i think you've been shadowbanned??? i haven't been able to tag you so i came to check if you were still under the same url and noticed your dm button is gone, which is usually another sign of a shadowban. you can read about it here!! if it's the case i recommend contacting tumblr support, i hope they fix it soon </3
yeah i think i’m shadowbanned!! i’m not sure but it’s prolly bc i was inactive as i’m in quarentine!! thank you so much for letting me know! i just submitted a support request so hopefully my acc will be ok! tysm for letting me know, have a great day <3
uh ? you think ya big boi, throwin three stacks. ima show you how to ball, you a miss match. opinionated but im always spitting straight facts. throwback i might throw this on an eight track.
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE WRITE A LONG ASS AU (EITHER ONE SHOT OR SMAU) WITH THE THEME OF BUSINESS PROPOSAL (THE KDRAMA) WITH JENO (BC HE LOOKS LIKE THE SECOND LEAD) OR LISTERALLY ANYONE
AKSHDKHSKDHAKHDA IM GOING TO COMBUST
i apologise for the aggression. please reshare so that many more talented writers can see!!
ik it’s over for you by now, but it’s still valentine’s day for me over here so happy valentine’s day hisu!! i hope your day was amazing!! ily 😚❤️
NAURRR BESTIE WHY DID I ONLY SEE THIS NOW 😭😭IM SO SORRY BROO AHHHHHHHH!!! I HOPE YOU HAD THE BEST VALENTINES DAY AND BEST DAY YESTERDAY, TODAY AND HAVE THE BEST DAY TOMORROW ILYSM EM <333
(im so sorry bro and ty for making me feel so loved! i hope you do too!) LITERALLY THE PICS ARE ME RN TO YOU ❤️
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE WRITE A LONG ASS AU (EITHER ONE SHOT OR SMAU) WITH THE THEME OF BUSINESS PROPOSAL (THE KDRAMA) WITH JENO (BC HE LOOKS LIKE THE SECOND LEAD) OR LISTERALLY ANYONE
AKSHDKHSKDHAKHDA IM GOING TO COMBUST
i apologise for the aggression. please reshare so that many more talented writers can see!!
first of all how is someone supposed to decide, i was gushing around for 8 minutes which one i should choose, ending up with moa diary because its the fandom song,,, but dear Sputnik and frost? SO UNDERRATED!
I actually don’t rlly like beomgyu doing aegyo 😗
I feel like I’m being teased and he’s doing it to annoy me lmaoo, but I did indeed think about falling in love ☹️ it’s those soft hours again! 🤍
now on to tagging some moots🌨💗
@cha0thicpisces @dearsoobtnik @vngelgyu @pr0dbeomgyu or anyone who wants to do this!💗💗