you are on your last day of exams before christmas break, and you’ve been so caught up with studying and finishing all your assignments just so they wouldn’t burden you later—clearly neglecting your boyfriend, jeno.
which you didn’t even realize.
you guys haven’t talked for two days straight, and since he wasn’t texting or talking to you first, you assumed he also wanted to focus on studying for exams.
but you were wrong.
finally, the last exam of the semester is done! you’ve given your all, and honestly—you don’t give a shit anymore whether you get good grades or not. you’re already too stressed to even care about your school’s bullshit.
you’re definitely ready to enjoy some healing and relaxation time.
just the thought sleep makes your mood better.
well, you and your friends have been planning this villa trip together. and the ones coming are minjeong, ningning, aeri, jimin, hyuck, renjun, jaemin, jeno, and you.
the crew is set, and you guys are ready to go.
you guys decided to rent a van, leaving at noon so you'd arrive at the villa in the evening.
you sat next to jeno the whole ride, but he was very quiet, not talking to you at all. he had his airpods on and was reading a novel he borrowed from you a week ago, so you left him alone, happy enough that he was actually reading something you recommended to him.
you’re honestly so terrible at reading jeno’s mood, especially when he's angry/sulking, cause he’s not the type to show those kinds of emotions blatantly. so you don't actually know if something is bothering him.
you ended up sleeping the entire car ride, not realizing your head was resting on jeno’s shoulder the whole time. he stayed completely still, letting you rest on him because he knew how tired you were.
once you arrived, jeno gently woke you up.
“y/n, we’ve arrived. the others already went in,” he said, softly caressing your cheek.
“hmm? we’re here?” you mumbled, voice raspy, still half asleep.
“mhm.”
seeing how cute you looked, jeno couldn’t help but press a small kiss to your cheek.
“m’kay…”
you both got out of the car and brought your bags inside. everyone had already picked their rooms—the girls shared one, and the guys shared another.
after unpacking, jaemin, renjun, and hyuck were busy playing games.
you thought jeno was with them too, but he was nowhere to be found.
“hyuck, have you seen jeno?” you asked.
“JAEM—THERE’S SOMEONE ON MY LEFT! DEFEND ME, FOR GOD’S SAKE—what?” hyuck yelled before turning to you.
“have any of you seen jeno? he’s nowhere to be found.”
“haven’t seen him since we unpacked,” jaemin said, shrugging.
“same,” hyuck added.
“i think he went outside to swim? i saw him wearing his swimming trunks,” renjun said.
i know it's very cruel of me to post this a couple of day's after mark's departure from sm and all nct units, but this jeno drabble has been sitting in my draft for so longgggg, so i decided to post it.
wishing mark nothing but the best moving forward. i truly hope this decision brings him happiness and comes from a place that feels right for him. <3
thank you guys for reading this, and I hope you all enjoyed it !
word count : 0.6k
note : i was inspired by "we'll never have sex" by leith ross to write this bc for some reason jeno reminds me so much of this song. everytime i listen to it or hear it i just think of jeno and think that it reflects how jeno would be as a partner! enjoy me being delusional and i hope you enjoy my first official writing :3 (including lyrics from the song bc i'm TIREDDD and i wrote a lot for my finals this week...)
no matter how long you and jeno have been together, it always surprises you how much he appreciates you for being you. he appreciates your body, but not in the way that he only uses it to get off. he appreciates your face, but not just for the label of having a "hot girlfriend". he appreciates your personality, for making him feel so loved and comforted every time he breaths. when he kisses you it's with tenderness, not greed. when he runs his hands along your body it's in comfort, not lust.
"if i said you can never touch me, you'd come over and say i look lovely" your quiet voice vibrates against jeno's chest as the two of you are laying against each other, curled up in his bed.
"hmm?" he lifts his head up to look down at you, a perplexed expression painted on his face.
immediate embarrassment flows through you, regretting what you just blurted out. you realized how awkward of a thing that was to say and hoped that jeno genuinely didn't hear what you said. "oh... nothing, lay back down nono."
"no tell me what you said, i wanna know." he added a hint of sass to the end of his sentence, making it harder to just move on from your stupid remark.
"i was just talking to myself, it was stupid anyway."
jeno tilted his head and raised his eyebrow, knowing in his head he was thinking be serious. "tell me what you said or no cuddles for the rest of the night, and i take my hoodie back."
you sighed in defeat, knowing you couldn't lose all that just over a few words, "if i said you can never touch me, you'd come over and say i look lovely." once the words left your mouth you covered your face in embarrassment, you didn't even know what you meant by that but you just felt the urge to blurt it out to jeno.
"i don't know what that means but i'm assuming it's good." his gave you his signature "(.◜◡◝)" expression before he laid his head back down.
"i don't know why i said that honestly, it's kind of embarrassing,"
"no, not at all?"
"i was just thinking of everything you do for me, the way you treat me like i'm the most fragile thing ever. not just physically but in every way. everything you do for me is so careful and you never want me for only my body or only want me for sex, and just, like, if i told you you could never touch me again, you'd still say i look beautiful or lovely and be fine with never touching me again. like your love for me isn't only physical." your voice was quiet but jeno heard every word, listening intently. he would be lying if he said he didn't tear up a little at your words, he tries his best to show you love that's more than just physical and make you feel loved inside and out. and you were right, if you told him he could never touch you again he would be fine with that and would still always call you beautiful and lovely.
as if the two of you weren't close enough, he engulfed you in a suffocating hug, landing kisses on the top of your head. your muffled giggles vibrating against his chest. another heartwarming moment that makes you fall in love with your boyfriend all over again.
Pairing: Jeno x Reader [ ft. Jaemin, Haechan, Chenle, Renjun ]
Prologue: Jeno is just another friend, is all that you have been thinking, denying your feelings. It’s better to shut the emotions of the heart than to lose him. What happens when he learns a secret?
Genre: Friends with Benefits AU + Suggestive + Fluff + Angst
Wordcount: 2,547
Warnings: Suggestive Content [ rough + angry sex + nudity + biting + making out + moaning ] Language
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And perhaps falling off a bridge would hurt lesser than falling for a friend. Your head and your heart would ultimately be confused and conflicted by an enigmatic companion.
-
The morning was unconcerned with the impending alarms, the warm yellow rays of the sun rising above the horizon were concealed by the heavy black curtains. An aura of sloth, sultriness, and wilderness floated in the room like the aroma of a freshly baked cake. The only source of light was the mood lamp that had been projecting the same seductive crimson and tuscany hues since the previous night.
Jeno hovered over you, placing kisses as he worked his hips just right. You gripped his face with your hands, soaking up every pleasure he gave you.
It felt as though the world was dying since the two of you had been going about this business for so long and the only thing on your minds was getting each other to scream and react physically. You were familiar with every inch of his body like a road map that you had memorised, and you were also aware of the vital spots where even a light touch from your flesh would send him into a fit. Jeno was skilled in the same domain.
"How the fuck did you manage to cover me in so many hickeys?" Jeno voiced as he rolled over his side, engulfing you in his arms as he nuzzled his face into yours.
"I don't even like biting but there's something about you, I can't control myself." You replied, letting out soft moans as he brushed his fingers against your naked body.
"Why is it so soft?" He gushed, bringing himself nigher. He started to place kisses all over your bare arm.
"You really like my moisturizer, huh?" You made a joke, which caused the boy to giggle softly yet deeply.
The alarm went off, signalling it was too late and better for you to be out of bed. Yet, it was difficult to come out of the dreaminess of addictive acts with Jeno.
"You ought to go." He twisted his legs around yours and tightened the grasp after hearing what you said, which made him pout.
"Can we not just stay like this? I love it so much." Jeno tried his best to earn a yes from you but even after domestic dynamics between the two of you, what you had with him was still not bound by any official terms of a relationship.
"Lee Jeno, think of skipping one more class and you're dead meat." You declared, pushing him away by the chest. He finally got up, his back offered you a spectacular view as he put on his hoodie. He was hot.
-
The classes began as usual. The vibe of the weekend could be felt and seen on everyone's faces as they walked towards their lecture halls. College was about to end soon, unlike the day that would turn out to be a long one.
Jeno came sprinting from behind, tapping you on the shoulder. "Lend me the notes from the past week. What did we do?"
You handed him a folder as you both kept walking. "Only if they taught football." He thanked you.
"Even if they did you'd barely come to class." You commented as you took his hand in his. He wore a plain blue shirt over a white tee and that was enough for the rest of the onlookers to feel jealous of you.
-
Business Majors was as dull as it sounded.
Where had the last three years gone? It would sound cliche to anyone but it in fact did feel like yesterday that you bumped into this athletic guy, the exchange of glances and phone numbers gradually led to things heating up between you. Matters started to range from baseball games to bedrooms.
-
But who was Jeno? A lover? A friend? An acquaintance? That's the complicated part. Friends with benefits.
What everybody else thought was contrasting. For them, you two were the hottest couple on the campus. After all, you did everything a couple would do and the best thing to do when unfounded rumours keep coming up like a creeper is to ignore them and take pleasure in the drama.
-
"Had you been three minutes late I could've won a new pair of headphones?" A young boy who had donned a red jacket with fluffy brown hair, seated right in front of your row cried.
"Don't you already have more than enough?" You questioned seating yourself and placing your supplies on the desk.
"Renjun, explain." He elbowed the other one beside him.
"He made a bet. Lost again, of course." Another boy in yellow explained. He didn't seem to be in the mood to skip the lecture and squander it engaging in the gossip and petty bickering that you and your friend loved.
"Haechan! Grow up!" You jokingly hit his head.
"Over there!" With a harshness in his voice, the professor snapped his fingers.
"Lee Jeno! Explain this." He called him out as he pointed toward a phrase on the screen.
Jeno, who was seated to your right, glanced at you momentarily in an attempt to pick up a cue, but the timing didn't seem appropriate.
"This.." He began.
"I kind of don't know." He earned a roar of laughter from the rest of the class, every single one of them but you.
"Out!" The professor shouted, his brows wrinkled.
You turned to face Jeno once more, this time with worry reflected in your eyes, but he did the exact opposite of what you expected. He gave you a wink and grinned as he slung his empty backpack over his shoulder and exited the hallway regretlessly.
This made you think about the Jeno you met three years ago, he wasn't at the top of the class, but he did secure one of the highest grades, never missed a class, and turned in assignments on time but that only lasted for a semester or two. It was like slow poison, it would start to spread slowly and gradually, taking its time in the best way possible until one day would come and everything would cease. Serene yet explosive.
This was what had you concerned.
There were other occasions when people criticised you, saying that you were ultimately responsible for doing this to a sincere young man like him, that you were taking advantage of him, and that it was not for the talks, but the fact that they did, in fact, ring true to you was onerous.
Given your social and financial status, you didn't think much of college and didn't care if you passed or not. If you fished a decent job placement or not. If your professors liked you or not and this was what had been going on ever since you could recall memories, things that appeared to be a hard-earned necessity to others were insignificant to you. There were a dozen more methods, good or evil, to do things, and if you didn't succeed, your family would step in and fix them for you. This was how life went by; the only reason you went to this esteemed university was to have it documented on a piece of writing that you put some work into. Worse things may be anticipated in a society where paper was valued more highly than the human conscience. Money was paper, after all, it sure was different from the other kind of knowledge-stuffed papers the others applied with, but well, it was paper and your family did not mind spending racks to fit you into an image that was not yours.
-
"Y/N? The class got over ten minutes ago." Haechan attracted your attention by abruptly waving his hand in front of your eyes.
"Oh, yeah." You murmured.
"This is why they say people go crazy in love." He commented.
"Shut the fuck up!" You were annoyed. Picking up your bag, you left the class, still in deep thought.
Life did not make any sense at that point and your heart was not helping either, you were a walking puzzle.
-
Love was not what you two shared.
Together, you did spend days and nights. Every time someone else looked at him, you grew envious, and Jeno too. You'll never forget how he pouted whenever you spent time with someone who wasn't him. There was a natural sense of belonging that you two had developed for one another, but perhaps that's what friends did. Every time Haechan brought in new acquaintances, you did experience jealousy; it wasn't as strong or as intense, but it was enough to persuade your heart. Only if hearts came equipped with remote controls would the world be a simpler place to live.
The one time you could not control your heart was when you told Jeno you loved him, drunk.
"I love you too, Y/N~" He replied back, not even in a sense of distinguishing colours or shapes, let alone feelings.
Because you were certain Jeno had no memory of it, and because you knew it would be terrifying to dig out the dead, you gave up trying to think about that time. Losing a friend as valuable as he was was not on your list because the only ghosting that could occur was from his end to yours.
This took you back to another night in your bed. You and Jeno were cuddled up, wrapped in blankets as he laid his head on your tummy, trying to watch Netflix but the only thing you could ever do was smile at each other's face, for no reason whatsoever.
"What?" You giggled, interlocking his hair in your fingers, trying to focus on the screen projected in the front.
"Can't I just stare at my-" He cut the sentence halfway, turning his face away to the movie. A scene of love confession was going on, the two main leads were oblivious, still in a denial, and you could swear that watching porn instead of that would have been way easier for you.
At least five times, if not more, Jeno looked up at you in the hope that you would say something, but you chose to ignore him like life troubles, as if they went away with your ignorance. And wasn't romance trouble too? You thought to yourself. No matter how bad you wanted Jeno, the more you thought of confessing, the more you denied your feelings.
No, it would still not count as love.
-
"Be careful where you go!" Someone's screams jolted you back to reality.
"I'm sorry." You walked away.
"Y/N!" You turned your head toward the source, Jeno. He was already outside, waiting for you.
"Here!" He shouted.
You began to move in the direction of the blanket, pillows, and woven basket of food that he had already spread out on the floor.
He patted on a spot, asking you to take a seat.
"Jeno, this is a study date." You asserted while raising one of the soft pastel green pillows loaded with fur.
"Because of the way the brain functions, we need to get some rest before engaging in any kind of mental training." He laughed.
"How do you plan to sleep here, it's 11 am?" You pushed him away, laying beside him.
"Hmm because you kept me from getting any sleep last night." Right near to your ear, he whispered.
"I could say the same." You exhaled.
"Yo! Lovebirds, and then you guys say you are not in love." You cocked your head to the side only to see Chenle.
"Come, sit." You said getting up.
"I'm in a rush, Jeno I needed you to help me." He declared.
"With?" You questioned.
"You already forgot? Do you need a second invitation?" Chenle teased you while you were still confused.
"I told you I'm throwing a party tonight, nothing too fancy."
"Will there be booze?" Haechan jumped into the scene, startling you.
"Everything, Jeno!" He pulled him by the arm until he succeeded in taking him away.
"Hmmm." Haechan hummed.
"What now?" You questioned.
"I don't know what kind of kinks you have but sleeping under the open sky here at the campus is definitely a bad idea." The only thing holding him up was his elbow, he said as he laid down.
"You don't get to speak crude things just because you're single." You flicked at his forehead.
"You are also single." He was obviously on something today since everything he said struck you right in the heart; if it weren't for the luxury of being your closest friend, he may have gotten into trouble.
"Whatever." You shrugged him off.
-
You were in your room later that evening, contemplating what to wear to the party. Other significant life decisions were open questions for someone who struggled to make decisions about their clothing.
You saw a text from your mother when the phone's alerts appeared, but you chose to ignore it. Knowing what it would be, the wisest course of action was to ignore it once again.
Haechan also phoned, but because you were adamant that nothing would spoil this evening and Jeno was on the way, the two of you chose to go together.
KNOCK KNOCK!
The door signalled a visitor, your favourite one.
"Jaemin Na—who the hell is he?" Before you could even see Jeno's face, he hissed. You were taken aback. How did he know about him? You never told him, did you?
"What- who told yo- Jeno what?" You sounded muddled.
"Come inside, let's sit down and speak about it." You suggested it after noticing the others in the hallway, and he stepped in.
"Who is he?" Jeno was tearing up, gripping you by your arms. Meanwhile, you thought of a thousand different excuses. There was no way you wanted Jeno to know who Jaemin was.
He was sobbing when you glanced up, but he was in a subtle rage. Why?
Not as if he was yours. The two of you had nothing official, only lingering feelings and this would be the complete opposite of whatever was, and would happen between you and Jaemin.
You kissed Jeno impulsively, not knowing what else to do.
And he kissed you back, roughly.
Two bodies breathing heavily, crying, yet never breaking the tongue contact. You were so mad at him, and surely he felt the same.
You pushed Jeno onto the bed, his eyes never meeting yours as you straddled him, sitting on his lap, forcing him to lay on his back.
"This is all because of you." He grunted.
"Oh, so now you are going to say this too?" You bit his neck, earning a groan from him. His hands rushed up and down your waist all the way back.
You ripped apart his black shirt, and moments later his pants met with the same fate.
You kissed and bit every part of his body like some bloodthirsty vampire, with zero control over yourself. The bed was a weird mix of fluids, including the sweat from the heat and the tears from the pain. Maybe they were right when they said sex was a great escape mechanism.
"Fuck you!" Jeno cursed, you had not seen him like this anytime before.
"You literally will."
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Your boyfriend Jeno has been playing video games on his computer for hours, ignoring you completely even though he was the one who invited you to hang out at his place. You asked him when was he going to stop playing and he said "In a moment". That was an hour ago. You were laying on his bed and scrolling through your phone when you saw that his computer screen went black. He finally stopped playing. You got up to sit on his bed and waited for him to come over but he still kept sitting at his gaming chair. Now that he wasn't playing video games on his computer anymore, he was scrolling through his phone, still completely ignoring you. You were frustrated and had enough. You got up from the bed and walked over to him. You sat down on his lap and took the phone from his hands and pouted at him.
"What?" He asked with a confused look on his face.
"You asked me to hung out with you and then you play games for two hours, completely ignoring me!"
He chuckled.
"Stop laughing! This is serious" You slapped his chest.
"Okay, I'm sorry. You just look so cute when you pout" He chuckled a bit more as he put his hands on your waist.
"And I'm sorry I ignored you. I was just so into this new game I downloaded yesterday. But that obviously isn't a good reason to ignore my girlfriend. I have a few ways I could make it up to you" He said as he wiggled his eyebrows and smirked.
"Jeno!" You slapped him in the chest again.
"Sex isn't always the answer!" You continued.
"Well then what would make you feel better?" He asked. You ran your hands through his hair. You looked up at his eyes and said:
"I want cuddles" You pouted again.
"What the princess wants is what the princess gets" He said as he picked you up and carried you to the bed. He laid you down and crawled next to you. You laid your head against his chest and closed your eyes as he caressed your back with his hand.
Genre: fluff and angst, a little suggestive at the end
Warnings: none(?)
Words: 5,3k
Summary: it’s nothing new that your fiery nature often leads you to act unwisely, your intense feelings overpowering reason. Even Jeno knows that, yet he chose to love you just the way you are. But when an attitude of yours becomes too much even for your oh-so-patient boyfriend, he decides to teach you a lesson in a unique way.
Maybe you really brought out the fire in him.
A/N: everything is fictional, including the characters’ traits. English is not my first language, therefore I’m sorry for the errors.
You knew from the moment you saw her that nothing good was coming out of this.
From the moment you shook her hand and chanted the usual “It’s a pleasure to meet you”, you knew that there would have been no pleasure at all. Not when a girl this beautiful had to do volunteering together with your boyfriend.
If it wasn’t for your upcoming exams there would have been you beside Jeno, picking up the trash from the beach under the warm sun of May to compensate the lacks of your fellow citizens, making your town a little bit cleaner and pleasant or a little more colorful, since volunteer work also included repainting the stairs and the old walls covered by obnoxious and vulgar graffiti. But being on your last and toughest year of high school, your free time had dramatically lessened. You considered yourself lucky if you had enough time to watch a movie before you went to sleep.
Jeno introduced her to you a couple of months ago, insisting so that you could meet her because “she’s really nice Y/N, I think you could be great friends”. And that was actually very sweet of him, if not that the amount of time he was spending with her was becoming way bigger than the amount he could spend with you because of your freaking exams, which were approaching at the speed of light.
You tried not to be jealous, you really tried. You trusted Jeno with all of your heart, not once the boy had given you a reason to doubt about him, but hell, how could you when you were even jealous of your best friend?
One of the reasons why you and Jeno get along so well is that you two are the perfect opposites, perfectly balancing each other. He’s always the patient and calm one, the one who thinks before acting and speaking, the one who listens to you rumbling about your day, a small smile escaping from his lips from time to time (since he finds you so cute when you are mad) and disappearing almost instantly, not wanting you to think he’s laughing at you.
Seriously, you’re the fire which burns everything and anything without thinking twice, and he’s the water which always, no matter what, manages to extinguish your flames.
Fire and water, indeed.
And due to your, in fact, “fiery” nature, it’s impossible for you to not be jealous when a pretty and tall girl gets to stay so close to your boyfriend, while you’re only close to your beloved Physics book which, by the way, you were on the verge of throwing out of the window more than a couple of times.
You really tried not to be jealous and petty, but when your boyfriend cancelled the possibly first date you could have had in a while, you couldn’t help but explode. All of your hidden and unspoken jealousy, which accumulated in a two-months time span, made you a living ticking bomb, and that was all it took for it to detonate.
A while ago Jeno surprised you with the idea of celebrating your (hopefully) successful exams with a dinner at your favorite place, just the two of you. Not to mention, the restaurant was right on the beach, giving you a great view of the sun melting in the water before it switched places with the moon. A perfect romantic atmosphere in which to make up for all the lost time.
At this point you were only studying for this.
And when the so awaited day came, with you calling Jeno to happily tell him that you passed your exams with a perfect score, you came to know that your boyfriend was no more available since he had to accompany that girl, who had to take her entrance test, at university, which was an hour and a half away.
And that’s why you’re currently screaming at your phone.
“You’re cancelling a date with me because of that girl? Seriously, Jeno, we haven’t seen each other in ages, I’ve waited so long for tonight and you’re telling me that you can’t because of her?”
“Y/N I don’t know what to say… she already paid for taking the test and the friend that was supposed to drop her has a fever so… I was her last hope” your boyfriend regretfully explains.
“Doesn’t she have other friends other than you? Or at least a parent who can accompany her? You know, a while ago they invented some cool objects which move from a place to another, they call them trains and buses” you sarcastically rant.
“Her parents are working and she hasn’t a driver’s license. I’m so sorry Y/N, I really wanted to spend some time with you too, but I really couldn’t say no to her. That test will determine her future”
“And her future had to be determined just when we were finally supposed to see each other”
“I’m sorry Y/N, I really am. I promise tomorrow I’ll be all yours”
“Yeah yeah, whatever… bye”
You don’t even give enough time to your boyfriend to reply, you just hang up and throw your phone somewhere. Fortunately, it lands on your bed.
You start to walk back and forth, your brain wheels fuming with thoughts.
The devil on your left shoulder tells you that ‘He really ditched you for her, you should make him pay’ - but then, the angel on your right shoulder promptly tries to make you come back to your senses: ‘That’s not because he doesn’t care about you Y/N. He’s an altruistic person, so he isn’t capable of leaving a friend hanging. You would have done the same for one of your friends’ - and that’s true. You begin to reconsider the whole situation until your devilish side speaks again.
He considers her a friend so important to be put before his own girlfriend. That’s it Y/N, he put her before you. Her test was important, apparently more than a date with you after so long you’ve been apart.
And that’s when you decide.
You’ve studied so hard and for God knows how many days, you’ve passed your exams with a highly enviable score and a night completely alone under your blanket is all you are getting? Hell no. You deserve a lot better.
Without thinking twice, you search for a specific person on your contact before pressing the call button.
If Jeno is busy accompanying his new friend then you’ll spend the evening with someone else: he doesn’t get to decide how you spend your day. You’ve had a success and you are going to celebrate it, even without him.
It’s not that he’s alone, either.
“Hello?” the male voice coming from your speaker puts a stop on your thoughts.
“Hello Jaem, how are you doing?”
“I’m doing good, how about you? Did you pass the exams? How did they go?”
Here he is, the same caring and sweet Jaemin you’ve known for years. Truth is, before you and Jeno became a thing, you met his friends (six very chaotic yet adorable boys). With them being very friendly to you and you adoring each of them (and one in particular the most, which fortunately ended up being your boyfriend), you spent a lot of time together going out to eat or simply chilling at their house. Why did you call Jaemin, though? Very simple, because he’s the one with which you’ve bonded the most. Not to mention, he’s the one who helped you the most with Jeno, with him being the latter’s best friend.
“It was hard but I passed, I got 100 out of 100” you happily inform him, at which he begins to let out random cheering, or should I say, Jaemin-noises.
“You should party!”
That’s what I intended to do but I can’t because my boyfriend is a dick
But you don’t voice that thought out aloud.
“That’s what I wanted to talk about. Uhm… would you mind going out with me to eat something tonight?”
A moment of silence passes, and you start to regret doing that suggestion.
“What do you mean? Didn’t you have a date with Jeno tonight?”
I had, but as I said my boyfriend is a dick
And neither this thought was ever voiced out aloud.
“Yes, I had. But…” you sigh, exasperation exuding by your next words “but apparently he ditched me because he had to drop that girl from volunteering at university since she had to take her entrance test. Seriously, I refuse to believe that this girl hasn’t at least a friend with a driver’s license and a working car”
Jaemin laughs at your words. You continue.
“Plus, the seats at the restaurant are already booked and it would be a waste not to go.” You state matter-of-factly.
“And…” you hesitate.
“And?” Jaemin encourages you to speak.
You sigh. “I don’t want to spend this important day alone. I feel like I deserve more than just snuggle under my blanket and binge watch Stranger Things, after all the sacrifices I’ve made.” You finally confess.
“I think so too” he agrees, at with you let out a sigh of relief.
Finally a person who understands me
“I guess we could go to that place together, since I don’t have anything to do either”
“Great!” you cheer. You are not spending your evening alone anymore. Even if Jaemin isn’t Jeno, he for sure is a pleasant company. “I’ll text you to let you know place and time”
And after saying your goodbyes, you feel a little bit light hearted.
Your little outing with Jaemin passes smoothly. After all, he’s Jaemin! This boy is capable of cheering even the sourest mood up. Well, you don’t get to watch the sunset with your boyfriend, nor to go take a midnight swim with him like he happily suggested once before. But you get to spend a pleasurable night with one of your dearest friends. Sure, your smile drops a few times: once when the waitress asks you where is Jeno (since he’s the one who had booked for the both of you), and a couple of other times when you direct your gaze to your phone, which shows no texts by your boyfriend.
He’s probably driving, so he can’t text me.
But still, a simple heart would be enough.
And your mind is so occupied by this kind of thoughts that you fail to realize a tiny detail. A tiny, but crucial detail: you didn’t tell Jeno anything about your outing with Jaemin, nor did Jaemin since the boy ingenuously thought you already had.
A tiny detail, a tiny lack.
With not so tiny consequences.
“What the fuck, dude” a bewildered Mark lets out after Jeno walks past him without replying to his good morning, nor sparing him a single glance.
“What happened?” a tiny Renjun with his hair all messy makes his appearance in the living room, before a loud thump (probably coming by Jeno’s door) is heard.
“I… don’t know?” the older boy replies, confused.
Let me tell you what happened, since these boys seem not to have a single clue. That tiny detail of you not telling Jeno you were going out with another guy, who was his best friend by the way, managed to drive your calm, patient, relaxed boyfriend, mad.
He already was of sour mood for ditching you not a day before, but just on the day of your so long awaited date together, the date he was thinking about for days. The guilt he felt from the moment he heard your happy voice telling him about your successful result, knowing that he was probably going to ruin your day with his news, was eating him alive. It actually took a lot of reasoning and convincing by Yejun to finally make Jeno voice a reluctant “Okay… I guess I’ll accompany you, then” with the girl mouthing countless “sorry” and “you’re really my last hope”, and even a “I’ll pay you and Y/N a fancy dinner at your favorite place”, to show how mortified she genuinely was.
You two were just being unlucky, Jeno thought, trying to mask his own guilt into circumstances.
But when he finally came home, exhausted and eager to call you to finally tell you how sorry he truly felt for leaving you alone tonight, he mindlessly opened his favorite social media, scrolling through various posts of friends and celebrities until one particular post caught his eye.
It was a photo of you and Jaemin, a beautiful sea could be seen behind you under a sky painted orange. The tagged place clearing up all of his doubts.
So, while he was internally punching himself in the face for hurting you, turns out you were living your best life with Jaemin. In the same exact place he was supposed to be with you.
His girlfriend and his best friend, it sounded like the plot of a clichè novel.
And at this point, no one can blame Jeno for not responding to Mark’s good morning because, indeed, it isn’t a good morning at all.
You come to realize all of this only a couple of days later.
Finally free from the jaws of your teachers, you choose to head over to Jeno and his friends’ house. You were confused, to say the least, when Jeno began to reply to your texts with monosyllables. It was not like him at all, your chat full of red hearts, kiss emojis and sweet good-nights a solid proof of that. Therefore, you knew right away that something was bothering him.
When you arrive at the guys’ the youngest happily greets you with a hug, giving your heavy hearth a momentary relief.
“It was so long since I last saw you. I missed you a lot” he warmly states, at which you almost coo at how cute he’s unconsciously acting.
“I know and I’m sorry, I promise from now on you’ll see me more often”
“Our Y/N came back!!” a high pitched scream is heard from the upper floor, and before you can ask yourself who is the culprit, you find yourself with your face smashed into Donghyuck’s chest, before the brown haired boy quickly recomposes himself. “It’s not that I missed you that much, though” he jokingly lies.
“Sure, Hyuck” you play along. There’s no way this boy almost tripped on the stairs to greet someone he didn’t miss.
After each one the boys eventually gathers around you, you can’t help but notice one thing.
“Sorry but… where’s Jeno?”
Everybody goes silent, and you don’t notice how Jaemin’s gaze shifts uncomfortably.
“Uhm… it’s complicated…” Mark tries to explain, but he’s interrupted by a very direct Chenle who tells you the unfiltered truth.
“Jeno is mad at you for going out with Jaemin that night”
And then you freeze on the spot.
You blink once, twice, before realization hits you like a truck.
How could you be this stupid? You didn’t even stop thinking about your personal revenge for a moment to realize that you forgot to tell him you were going out with Jaemin. No wonder he was replying you with short texts all this time. You can’t even imagine how he could have felt when he came to know.
Your wide eyes look at Jaemin, then at the others, searching for explanations. Mark understands your hidden request and continues.
“Thank you, Chenle” he raises a brow at the said boy. “At first he was also mad at us since he thought that we all knew, but then Jaemin explained him that he didn’t tell him anything because he simply thought he already knew”
“Really Y/N, I thought you had already told him” Jaemin states a little coldly, and you can’t blame him. Because of your impulsive nature he could have seriously fought with his best friend.
“I’m so stupid” you whine, slapping your forehead with your palm. “Where is he now?”
“He’s at the gym but he should be home any time, feel free to stay here to wait for him”
And so you do.
But turns out that your boyfriend isn’t so eager to see you, neither speak to you. You understand it when the black haired boy makes his appearance in the room and his eyes turn cold as soon as they land on your figure. And this is new, because your boyfriend was never the type to prolong a fight.
Soon you realize that this time, he is really mad.
Honestly, you have never seen this Jeno before, and it almost scares you.
That’s why you are a little hesitant to follow him in his room to finally confront him and say sorry. But you do anyway because it’s you who is in the wrong, hence it is you who has to do the first move. But when you take a deep breath to gather all of your courage and finally try to twist the handle of his wooden door, it turns out to be locked.
You narrow your eyes.
“Huh?”
You try to twist the cold metal with more strength but there’s no use: this door is definitely locked.
Okay, let’s try something else
This time you knock on the door, only to be followed by silence.
“Jeno?” you attempt, but no reply is heard on the other side.
“Jeno please let me in” you knock again.
You surrender. Guess I’ll have to talk to him with a door separating our faces.
You do your best to think of the right words to let out, words that can show how sorry you really feel.
“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for not telling you anything. I love you and I don’t want to fight with you. Please…” you rush the first part but softly plead the last word.
No answer.
“What can I do to make things better? Just… just tell me, please. I’d do anything”
Still no answer.
“Please Jen… I’m so sorry, it was really stupid and immature of me. Please just open the door so I can talk to you” you practically whine, desperate at this point.
Silence.
Okay, you are starting to loose your patience.
“Jeno open the door” you state this time, not so nicely.
“Jeno open this fucking door or I swear to God-“ and there they go your little remnants of patience.
You let out an exasperation sigh.
“Fine!” you shout before heading over the couch with heavy steps.
Your boyfriend really loves you, that’s for sure, but now you crossed the line and he wasn’t going to let it slide. Not this time. He thinks it’s time to finally give you a taste of your own medicine. So just like your fire managed to anger him, he decided to become the fire himself.
Little did you know, Jeno is smirking to himself on the other side of the door.
You see, even apparently calm people can get angry and revengeful if pushed too much. And when this specific kind of people gets angry, well, you better expect a freaking hurricane.
Your payback for your misbehavior is, in fact, non other than him pissing you off, riling you up until you explode. And he knows he is already achieving his goal.
Besides, it’s widely known that even water can catch fire in particular circumstances. And when it happens, the flames are spectacular.
Unfortunately for you, Jeno knows exactly what buttons to push to drive you insane, and that’s why you are practically going through hell.
First of all, it’s not every day that you manage to gather the courage to admit your own faults and say sorry: it’s not that you’re a prideful person, it’s just that you’ve never been good with words, always preferring to show your feelings through small acts. So, when your utmost attempt to make it up with your boyfriend was completely thrown away by the latter, you mask your hurt with anger, just like you always do. And Jeno knows all of this.
But no, he doesn’t plan to stop here.
The rest of the day (which you agreed to spend there thanks to the pleadings of six boys) goes by in between a full set of snarky remarks coming from Jeno’s mouth.
And if you still had a little bit of will to make your boyfriend finally forgive you… well, you can say goodbye to it already.
You don’t throw the controller at the tall male after he quietly enters the living room (where you are peacefully playing Mario Kart against Jaemin) only to take a sit beside the boy and murmuring loud enough for you to hear “at least choose a better opponent, there’s no fun in playing with losers”.
You don’t say a thing when Jeno suddenly pats Jisung’s back while giving him a brotherly warn: “Jisungie, I hope you’ll think twice before getting together with a girl. Enjoy your single life while you can”, while the poor boy, feeling awkward all of a sudden, throws a worried glance at you and mentally asks himself why the hell he was brought up in the middle of your argument.
But you do say something when, in the middle of the movie you are all watching, the same annoying voice chooses to state something about how the female lead character is “obviously cheating on his boyfriend with none other than his best friend. Can you believe it, Jaemin?”
This is the last straw.
Turning your head menacingly slowly and surpassing with your gaze the two people sitting between you, you finally free yourself of all the brakes you put on your tongue for the whole afternoon.
“How can you say right away if she’s cheating on him? And most importantly, how do you know that he’s not the one who’s cheating on her?”
Air starting to feel heavy around you, all the boys shifting uncomfortably and exchanging silent looks.
“It’s quite clear that he could never do anything to hurt her, even though it looks like the feeling isn’t mutual. If there’s one cheater among them, it’s her. I know how this sort of things work”
You raise your brow, parting your lips in shock. What the hell is he implying now? That you are cheating on him? You? On him? You laugh in disbelief.
“Well, mister know-it-all, I regret to inform you that you don’t know shit” you fight back, not talking about the movie anymore. Not that you ever did, to begin with.
If he doesn’t argue anymore to not make the boys more uncomfortable, or because he hasn’t anything more to add, you don’t know.
The movie plays, but you aren’t really paying attention to it. An unusual silence enveloping all of you. When end credits begin to appear on the screen all of the boys say their good-nights, quickly escaping from this awkward situation and retiring to their own rooms, except for Donghyuck who kindly offered you his bed since you aren’t going to sleep next to your boyfriend, and neither he shows any intention to do so.
Soon you realize you are left alone with Jeno, his figure still in the same place as during the whole movie.
This could be a perfect chance to apologize properly, just like you intended to do before he slammed the door in your face. Literally. But hell no, not after he treated you like that, rejecting your genuine attempts and, to top it off, purposely trying to annoy you.
You are not going to apologize, not anymore. He has to do it.
Hence, without sparing a single glance to the boy, you direct yourself to the bathroom, planning to take a good shower before going to bed. But apparently, your beloved boyfriend doesn’t agree with that, since he beats you to it, claiming the bathroom as his.
You abruptly stop on your tracks, face mere millimeters away from his chest. You raise your head, looking at him in the face, an annoying smirk planted on his face.
“Excuse me?” you state, raising a brow (a habit of yours)
“Looks like I get to take a shower before you, oops” he has the courage to mock you.
You narrow your eyes at him.
“Oh sweetie, I think not” you simply reply before trying to sneak through the door, but there’s no use. Your size difference not really working at your advantage.
Scoffing angrily, you turn your back at him before almost shouting a “Hurry up!”
“Oh sure I will”
Spoiler alert: he doesn’t.
He purposely takes his time to wash himself, put a body lotion and even shave his face. Seriously, who the hell shaves at midnight? Apparently only a guy who wants to rile up his girlfriend so bad just for the fun of seeing her all angry and pouty.
Is he mean? Maybe. But you need to learn to be a little less impulsive, you need to learn to control your emotions, you have to learn that being petty and infantile is not the right way to obtain things.
You have to learn that even if Jeno is a calm person, that doesn’t mean he can let everything slide.
And this is the most effective way to teach you that.
“You already finished? Only about… FORTY MINUTES have passed” you sarcastically voice while getting up from the floor (yeah, you’ve spent all this time with your back against the door), your limbs a little bit numb from the static position.
He chuckles.
Chuckles.
You are about to go insane.
“Oh God I can’t believe it” you murmur while, finally, entering the bathroom.
You think your boyfriend is done by now: really, he had tried so many things to rile you up at your fullest that you think he’s tired by now. But no, he has a last thing to do before letting his little personal revenge go.
Being surrounded by a cloud of steam while inside the shower, you fail to notice your boyfriend sneaking inside to steal your clothes. And when you realize the unpleasant spite, you lose it.
“That’s it!” you yell, at this point not caring at all about the boys who are probably sleeping.
From Jeno’s room, six loud thumps are heard. You, on the other side, with a mere towel wrapping around your naked body, are banging your fists against his door. The door that now he has to open if he doesn’t want it to be demolished.
Mere seconds later, Jeno’s face greets you, a face which is blatantly trying to suppress a smile. “You need anything?”
You make your way straight into his room, lightly bumping his shoulder on purpose.
“Give me my fucking clothes back”
You begin to search all over his room, under the bed, into the closet, on his gaming chair, everywhere.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about” he shrugs.
“Jeno, I’d beat you to death if I wasn’t naked right now”
“I’d like to see you try”
You take a deep breath.
Don’t kill him Y/N, don’t kill him, don’t kill him. He’s not usually that bad.
You clear your throat, trying to let his taunts slide.
“Give me my clothes” this time you use a calmer tone. Maybe if you act a little bit nicer, he’ll comply.
Jeno begins to walk towards you, slowly, while you unconsciously back until your naked shoulders hit the cold wooden of the door, which you realize is now closed.
You gulp, his figure towering over you, almost menacingly. You suddenly feel so small and powerless under his piercing gaze, your confidence from a while ago dissipating in mere seconds. His eyes piercing right into your soul, seeing right into you. You adjust the towel around your body, heart thumping furiously into your chest at the close proximity, your gaze unable to hold his any longer.
His palms flatten on the door, his arms caging you inside, giving you no way out.
Not that you want to be somewhere else, anyway.
Soft fingers make their contact with your chin, delicately lifting it to make you look at him. His thumb gently caressing your lower lip.
Now you recognize Jeno: the Jeno who was nothing but gentle with you, the Jeno who touched you like you were going to break any time, the Jeno who looked at you with the softest look in his eyes. However, you notice something different. This time, a slightly darker glimpse gleams in his gaze, something you are not used to but you have to admit, you like it more than you should.
“Then apologize properly, like the good girl I know you are” he firmly but softly whispers, hot breaths falling against your lips.
Your breath hitches, a glimpse of red adorning your cheeks.
Your lips part, but no sound comes out of them.
An inner conflict is taking part within your mind: on the one hand, his powerful and dominating aura (which you don’t see often) makes the angel of your shoulder scold you.
Stop this act and apologize already
Not to mention, this side of Jeno makes you feel some sort of things.
But in the end, what are we if not mortal creatures incapable of following the right path by our own? That’s why you choose to listen to the sweet whispers that your devil is murmuring you from the inside.
No, you already apologized and he didn’t listen to you. Don’t you dare submit to him after everything he put you through.
Jeno knows you are internally debating. He’s aware of how stubborn you are, he knows that you never give in so easily, hence he knows that you just need a little push to finally bring you to say those two words he is eager to hear from you.
With utmost delicacy he lifts your chin a little more, gently brushing the tip of his nose with yours.
Just mere millimetres and your lips would touch, you think.
Just a little closer, and you would satisfy your thirst of him, a thirst that was building and building unbeknownst to you, a thirst getting stronger every second you were forced to stay apart, at first by circumstances, later by your stubbornness.
But no, you aren’t giving in so soon.
“I’d like to have my clothes back” you simply said, gathering what was left of your strength. Voice much weaker than you intended.
You gulp loudly when his thumb stops moving against your lips, his own forming a thin line, jaw slightly clenching.
He didn’t like that.
“Okay” he simply says before parting from you, a sudden wave of cold air unpleasantly greeting you. You think he is directing himself to finally bring your belongings; for a moment you think you really won this.
Until he abruptly stops.
“Fuck it” he groans.
Before you can even register, his lips crash against yours.
Even though he takes you by surprise, you don’t hesitate a second before reciprocating the kiss. All of the pent-up frustration, all of the anger and hidden feelings, they all show up in your shared kiss. Jeno’s kissing you fervently, like it’s his last day on Earth. His hands no longer gently cupping your face like he usually did, but grabbing your face in a firm yet pleasurable way. Tongue no longer asking for access, but strongly making its way into your mouth. Your trembling fingers slide from his chest to the hot skin of his neck, before finally intertwining between his soft locks, which are still a little damp from the shower he took earlier.
A hand leaves your face to flatten against your back, bringing you closer and closer to his heated body. Lips trail blissful kisses on your jaw, then on your neck, and you fail to hide a quiet moan. Next, you hear his words whispered to your ear.
“Don’t worry, you’re going to apologize by the end of this”
Well, looks like you won’t be sleeping in Donghyuck’s room tonight.
