LowFatMilk

He/They, 21, Tumblr hot take man

[enbyinfodump]

I’m not the hero this city needs… and I’m not the hero this city deserves… fuck, I’m not even the hero this city has, I’m here on vacation, I wanted to see the aquarium, they have otters

[enbyinfodump]

Tried out a new Chinese place near me named “taste of China”, apparently China tastes like the cum of the girl who works the register at the Chinese restaurant because that’s all I walked away with in my belly. That lying bitch

[enbyinfodump]

In the land of the bald the one pubed man reigns king

[enbyinfodump]

Screaming and moaning on that thing <The mechanical bull at the Chuck E Cheese>

[enbyinfodump]

I want to help with the fight for women’s rights but I’m not really clear on who I should be fighting because women never emailed me back so I’ve just been killing random politicians and it’s working??

[enbyinfodump]

I’ve been able to consume food without the use of my mouth for about 5 years and nobody has done anything about it

One time I was at lunch and a guy I was eating next to saw me absorb the whole thing meat sauce and all by absorbing the nutrients completely and leaving behind a shriveled pile of grey ash where my burger was and he just asked me if I was going to eat the rest?

[enbyinfodump]

“I gave my medieval peasant a dorito I gave my medieval peasant a Nintendo switch I gave my medieval peasant disco elysium” that’s cool honey I gave my medieval peasant a gun and told him I have French ancestry because they won’t let me in to any of the casinos around here

[pukicho]

They're adding sorrow to fortnite

[enbyinfodump]

Eternal and unrelenting or reflective and soulful?

[enbyinfodump]

The thing those queer doctor types never tell you is that they let you eat 1 (one) other baby in the maternity ward. Guy next to me played the nice guy card, spared me, passed on me even though he had a good 5 minutes of existence over me. Guess nice guys do finish last, and I finish nice guys with a lemon caper sauce and some mashed up butternut squash

[enbyinfodump]

Actually so unfair that people with neither erotic ennui nor nuanced opinions on media are still allowed to interact with me, is this proof that god hates me? Definitely

[enbyinfodump]

The psychosexual urge to let out a single blood curdling animalistic scream and charge the door next time a 6’ 250 roofing guy tries to expose me to the demiurge

[enbyinfodump]

“Hello faggot” I say as I pull out my knife and fork

“Uh oh” says president Barack Obama

[enbyinfodump]

They call me Big Pussy and I’m the greatest adventurer to ever live

[beenis-is-bee-penis]

Big Pussy dad wants you home by 7pm you know that's when we eat dinner :/

[enbyinfodump]

Big pussy doesn’t eat “dinner” big pussy only eats… well, you jnow

[enbyinfodump]

They call me Big Pussy and I’m the greatest adventurer to ever live

[enbyinfodump]

I think the scariest thing about fighting a clone of myslef is that I 100% know where my balls are like no question. Sure if I fought a stranger they could make a pretty good guess but could you be sure? You don’t even know where the secret third one is

If they did a second 9/11 but it was even bigger ansd worse would that be fricked up or what

[enbyinfodump]

I bring a rustic white boy charm to an otherwise cold and calculating jury duty

[enbyinfodump]

Quiktrip breakfast pizza