#internalization

[0shark-yaps]

Bitched Misa thinks the world of Sam

He's big and tall and a great player and has an answer for every question and lights up a room and he's so patient with Mike and takes care of him. If Sam reciprocated he probably would've said something when he bit him. So Misa is feeling a little alone. Newly presented as an omega, trying to nest and settle in his room with the void of an alpha's scent. Cat gives him pack scented things but that's different, doesn't scratch the itch or quiet his brain

Sam is having a nervous breakdown like he did a heart transplant. There's no way he should be able to bitch someone when he didn't even really know that was actually physically possible. In theory he did. But it's like, a medical thing. Hormones and shots and supervision and professionals. People shouldn't just decide to completely fuck up their friend's lives and bitch them on a whim but that's basically literally what he did. Mike probably hates him and is pretending to be okay with the whole thing because he's a good guy. He asked or whatever but that's that's barely consent. There's no excuse to do what Sam did he didn't even like, double check or whatever. Misa's in his head about stuff all the time that's no reason to make such a huge decision for him.

His spiraling plan to get himself trapped in the elevator and whither away is interrupted by Mike calling and inviting him over. Probably to kill him and eat him, because that's what he deserves right now, so Sam goes. Toff will make it quick and painless. Or, actually hopefully he won't. Maybe if Sam goes and curls in on himself hard enough with enough remorse and shame it'll fix whatever part of Mike thought he was a good alpha and reset him back.

Cat looks happy to see him at the door, probably finally come around to Toff's long-standing plan to deal with him. Then she says something ridiculous and horrifying and perfect that kinda sounds like "your omega wants to see you" as Sam's stomach does about 20 flips and he has to steady himself on the kitchen island. He's gone all weightless. Might float away or fall through the floor if he's not careful

Mike's scent is different again upstairs, still settling into itself like it was the night before. Fuzzy around the edges with what might be distress, which is fair. He'll grovel at Misa's feet and apologize until they're okay. Then they can meet up with the med staff to make sure his omega is actually physically okay. He looks okay, half tucked into bed with his head in the hood of a sharks jacket. Then he's looking up with those big begging eyes again and pulling Sam into his nest like he belongs there

[iamnotcreativeijustplayitontv]

Spoilers for "911" 8.17, 'Don't Drink the Water' - More thoughts about the kitchen scene

The more I think about that scene, the worse I feel about it. Eddie doesn't want Christopher to see him cry, but I guarantee you that he has and that he knew his dad cried after getting the news of Bobby's death. Kids are way more observant than adults - especially parents - tend to give them credit for. Eddie has a history of behaving this way with Buck, and while I'm not trying to say that he does it to Chris, I'm sure Chris knows he's done it, whether he saw it or heard it. What kind of example is this demonstrating for his kid when Eddie not only won't let him see emotions, but Chris' only remaining parent demonstrates his emotions in this way? This toxic masculinity is unhealthy, and the last thing that Chris needs is to learn and internalize this behavior.

[sanctiphera]

Patriarchy insists men can't be abused, which is very wrong. True feminism wants to get rid of men's struggles as well.

But there are some extremely insane feminists who are basically just misandrists in disguise.

[farewell-to-lorien]

Art by Zoë Cain.

[wordsofwisdomandsoul]

[msfbgraves]

My friend has recently acquired a disability and now whenever they need an accomodation that is abnormal, they do this awkward 'shaming myself before you shame me-thing'

And I'm so not down with that.

They were unable to use sunscreen because they're violently allergic to all the perfumes people put in there as a matter of course. I walk slowly and, especially on a beach, with quite great difficulty.

The reason we were on the beach during nearly 40C heat was that it is the near only public space that allows you to bring your own food; near the only food my friend can safely eat.

The problem, though, was as follows - allow them to stay in the sun too long and, covered or not, they'd quite likely burn. But make me walk too fast, I'll hurt myself or pass out. So I gave them a head start to shade, after which they waited there while I sat down, caught my breath, drank a bottle of water and limped on to my car, where they joined me and sat inside while I loaded our stuff in, again, lest they burn horribly.

"Look at us struggling," they said in that faux funny tone.

I thought we'd been damn clever actually, getting our needs met by taking them into account and acting accordingly. No one was hurt, and we reached our goal as comfortably as possible.

"I refuse to be ashamed," I said. "We're managing, and well, without inconveniencing anyone. Not even ourselves."

But it really hurt me. Formerly abled people are always so apologetic. "Oh, I'm very slow." "Oh, I need help, like some idiot."

And I keep thinking: to they think needing consideration is shameful? Do they think my needing their consideration is shameful?

If you shame yourself for taking the actions you need to take to live a good life, how can you ever expect to live well? If you shame yourself out of fear of reprisal from the ableds, do you think you deserve it?

I don't shame myself for getting by, and if somebody tries, I will do my best to stay civil, but I will give them a piece of my mind.

People shame me a lot for being slow or clumsy, and I never go along with it other than to say: "Yes, but I never promised you any different, did I?" Because I refuse to live in a world where being slow or clumsy is shameful.

I know this perplexes them, and invariably, they figure out I have a disability and come rushing back, absolutely contrite and full of apologies. "I didn't know you have a disability," they say, and the If 'd have known you had an excuse, I wouldn't have shamed you goes unspoken. To which I always reply: "You couldn't have known. I didn't tell you," and the I don't owe you my medical information not to be publicly humiliated also goes unspoken, but rarely unheard. "Well, I'm sorry," this usually ends with, and that I will take, because they should be sorry, not for shaming a cripple, but for shaming anyone at all who did nothing but exist in their vicinity.

I will not be shamed for living the best life I can, and I'm hurt by the fact that others seem to think that I should be, really. That refusing to take harassment is a radical stance, and the only way to politely pre-empt it is to punish yourself first. Because you deserve it.

No.

I deserve dignity, same as anyone.

I may not always get it, but that is the other person's fault for mistreating people.

[thedigitaliscollective]

Whoa man, just got out of therapy today, it was rough. Talked about racism and the nightmares I have concerning it. Grew up being the only P.O.C family in an all white neighborhood. They passed around a petition to get us to leave. It was not easy being a kid there. Hate truly starts at home. I have all sorts of friends varying in race and creed today and they all have their own experiences. I’m curious to know what were your experiences concerning race, growing up? Have you internalized any of those messages? Does it still effect you today?