Hey there! Just a friendly reminder/PSA from your friendly neighborhood Pixiemage!
“Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” is too often (incorrectly) used as a cover-all tag, on fics ranging from Vaguely Uncomfortable to Serious Shit, as a replacement for any intense tags relating to the story. People will use it to say “Holy shit guys some INTENSE SHIT happens in this story” without actually saying what that Intense Shit™ is.
In actuality, the “Dead Dove” tag is meant to be used in addition to other warning tags. Pulled from a scene from the show Arrested Development (look it up on YouTube!), it means “Hi! Hey! I labeled this fic to warn you of what’s in it, so you might REALLY want to read those labels! This fic is exactly what it says on the tin! The tags are accurate! Don’t say I didn’t warn you, because this is me warning you! Read the tags!”
So before you accidentally use the “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” tag without context, here’s your preemptive lesson for next time. Please tag your fics accordingly! Ta!
The importance of his doctorate in molecular biology aside, the way in which Ryland Grace approaches an alien life form with curiosity, compassion and kindness is indicative of his lived experience as a teacher in a middle school.
It is one thing to be able to teach effectively, and another to manage a variety of different individuals needs while maintaining engagement. Every skill that Grace uses in his meeting of Rocky, and building a relationship with him, whether he remembers or not, are skills a good educator and mentor uses.
To not assume ill intent. To approach first with curiosity. To explain difficult concepts in a palatable way without condescension or malice. To empathize with one's situation and acknowledge how it may shape one's responses. To exercise patience. To adapt and shift gears in the face of uncertainty. To remain calm in the height of stress and remain a leader.
Grace as a scientist yes, but as a teacher, maintaining an openness to not only work with Rocky, but to also embrace his differences and utilize his strengths to find creative solutions that benefit both of them.
History is fraught with disputes and wars driven by ignorance and sustained by fear of unique cultures and experiences that are different to our own. It is practically in our DNA to reject or fear that of which is different to us, and so it is not weak to trust or to be kind. It is harder to be these things, because the opposing forces come so effortlessly.
Grace's inclination toward 'flight' instead of 'fight' is not an indicator of weakness. It is preservation. It is learned behavior. To take a step back, recalibrate and approach again. You do not win students over by being a fearless dictator. You win them over by treating them like people, and acknowledging where you yourself have room for growth. Ryland Grace is a coward for many reasons that define his narrative, but being trusting and kind are not among them.
Humanity owes its salvation to Ryland Grace the middle school teacher.
I want “I can get him to a point where he realises just how mentally fucked he is, and he has to decide himself if he’ll break the cycle of abuse and do the hard work to get better, thus improving his life but having to endure the pain that comes with realising one’s flaws and traumas. Or if he’ll refuse to acknowledge his issues and continue the cycle of abuse therefore loosing everything he loves in the process”
Only HE can decide what he’ll do. Break the cycle and improve even if the process will be hard. Or repeat the cycle and drive everyone away and be stuck in self hatred masked by false confidence.
All I can do is push him in the right direction. And if he chooses the wrongs one after all, he looses me. And it’ll be his own fault.
THAT is so much more interesting than “I can fix him”
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