endlessmania

everything is too much and nothing is enough

[endlessmania]

hey aha…sorry i disappeared for months on end, i kept going back and forth about whether or not to end it all and just ended up prolonging the suffering. but anyways, how have you been?!

[endlessmania]

i’m trying to be less reactive/aggressive when i feel myself getting triggered but it’s so hard when my parents trigger me the most. i don’t want to blow up at them (despite them deserving it sometimes)

why is everything so hard

[hotgirlmessss]

Something about being at the absolute bottom feels like home

[endlessmania]

wanting to get sicker so people notice Vs not wanting anyone to comment on your current state because you’re embarrassed of what you’re doing to yourself

[endlessmania]

*mid-split* you think i won’t kill myself just to spite you? hahahahahhaaa wrong.

[endlessmania]

it feels so degrading when i’m begging someone to stop trying to pick a fight with me/scream at me because i can tell i’m about to split

[mossy-aro]

ppl will be like ‘i support people w mental health issues!!1!!!’ until it’s about a societally demonised disorder. ppl will be “allies” until they’re asked to stop using psychotic as an insult, to stop equating low empathy with being inherently evil, to stop calling anyone they don’t like a sociopathic narcissist. it’s so telling how people will immediately resort to the exact same ableist language the second they’re not talking about a ‘sympathetic’ disorder like depression or anxiety.

if ur respect for people w mental health issues is conditional on what sort of issue they have, it’s not respect at all.

[bpd-seikokimura]

Exhibiting symptoms does not make you an attention seeker.

[decemberinthedark-deactivated20]

One of the stranger things I've noticed lately is the intrusive feeling of alienation that comes with socializing with BPD.

It's that pervasive feeling that you're nothing more than a ticking time bomb and that everyone around you knows it, so they put on their facades and go about their days putting up with you instead of actually enjoying being around you. It's the notion that you're only tolerated, and nothing more.

It's that feeling that no matter what, you're excluded from ever having a "normal person" relationship. Its perceived as a part of the human experience that's closed off to you, forever leaving you banging the gates with a perpetually out-of-reach sense of camaraderie locked behind.

Splitting is awful, granted... but what's been really been soul-crushing lately is how it conditions you to be terrified of your own thoughts, and whether you're masking those thoughts enough to put on a facade of your own and exist in the world without judgment.

It's exhausting on a good day, unbearable the rest of the time.

[cluster-b-culture-is]

Cluster B culture is always apologizing for your reactions but never being apologized to when you are truly wronged.

.

[borderlinebeauty]

you can’t hurt me if I’m ✨gone✨

[endlessmania]

*minor inconvenience*

me: im not gonna freak out and let it ruin my day-

brain: this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. you should dwell on it until it determines your mood for the rest of the day. make it everyone else’s problem and freak out at them because of it

[neurodivergenttales]

BPD is watching yourself burn your own life to the ground over and over again

[idkpleasekillme]

it’s a wild ride having “please don’t leave me” and “it’s your loss if you do” daddy issues with “please don’t yell at me ill cry” and “fuck around find out” mommy issues

[leeb-leefuh-lurve-deactivated20]

fr

[silence-ofdeath]

[bpd-bbyg]