We share some of those experiences above, so I'll add which ones I experience and add my own that haven't been listed.
- Alters with low empathy and no empathy (not many of those)
- Alters with extreme anger issues (they rarely ever break our things but they do harm the body a lot)
- Alters with extreme suicidal and homicidal urges (and the worst part is, I can't tell which alter these come from, all I know is it's from one or more of the hidden alters.)
-Alters that tell me to or make me feel like reenacting past trauma, sometimes they do reenact it themselves
-I have seconds where I can't move or do anything when I'm heavily dissociated. I hope I never have it last into long periods. Adding to this, I feel overstimulated and disconnected from the world during the paralysis from dissociation.
-We only have seconds where we're dizzy and uncoordinated from dissociation. We get... confused and don't know what to do next or forget what we're supposed to do and get uncoordinated.
-We already have bad depth perception and really bad environmental perception anyway, especially with where sounds are coming from. If we're too detached from the environment we'll have trouble with all of that.
-Most of the time, we are numb physically. We can feel but ignore physical sensations, or completely have no physical sensations at all.
- We only feel like passing out from dissociation when we're derealized but yes, we have this sometimes.
-Most of our amnesia is blackout amnesia, and the worst part is I don't even notice it until I find something I did but don't even remember doing. My consciousness doesn't even feel like it cuts out or going to sleep, I have a sense of continuous consciousness, but the events I think happened really didn't. I remember nothing correctly at all and nothing at all during amnesic switches.
-A lack of perception of time. For us, it feels like time is longer than it really is and like days mishmash into each other. We can't remember who did what on what day and get it wrong when we try to remember. And we feel like things that happened today happened yesterday and if we take a nap that fucks up our perception of time especially with memories.
-Rapidly revolving interests and care about people. Growing up this was my main struggle and is why I called myself having an "identity crisis" at 13 (didn't know what DID was yet tho) i had several different set phases id go thru that got "triggered" by seeing/hearing something from those phases and none of them really felt like "me" and i feel uncomfortable and not in control of myself during all of them. id also care about and wanna be friends with some people then a week or so later not care as much just to wanna be their friends and care about them again (mostly w toxic ppl)
-A persecutor who is also an internal handler, they have no or a masked internal appearance, they don't have a name or won't share it, nothing is known about them except they torture us every second we don't fall into the beliefs we were programmed to have or our abusers have. They tell me to kill myself and cut myself or other self harm, and hate the alters I love.
-Little to no internal communication most of the time. Having to call out "mentally loudly" to most alters to get them to respond. Then it's not clear or feels simulated which makes me feel like I'm faking and delusional.
-Mostly fragments who have little to no identity, never front, might not even be able to control the body, they're just... there and useless. The only thing they do is make more identity issues and probably other dissociation by existing.
-Most of the time, I don't hear from alters without me instigating communication and I rarely switch especially amensic switching. Its just me, being spacey and having to mentally yell at myself to pull myself together and struggle to do so, unable to feel most emotions except heavy negative ones, getting stuck daydreaming or just in general not fully "there" I don't even see myself outside my body that much (besides memories) or derealize that much, dp and dr are episodic and last a week or a little longer. I don't dissociate stereotypically, so I feel like I don't dissociate at all or even have DID or trauma. I have to be constantly reassured what I experience is dissociation, but that's bc people online exaggerate and act like they dissociate worse than they really do or like you can't have did unless you depersonalize and or derealize all the time when that's literally just depersonalization derealization disorder.
- Feeling like an imposter to everything. I don't even feel like I really feel my feelings and like I secretly feel something else, like I am pretending to be human, like I am simulating trauma and my alters, etc. Which the more I feel like I'm simulating things the more I get dpdr triggered.
-I can't even go into any place with a warehouse ceiling (home depot for example) or extremely bright lights without getting so overstimulated and disconnected from my environment I get disoriented. I get noticeably spaced out. I have worse memory issues. If any alters are co fronting, they forget who they are or get blurry. I feel sweaty, like passing out, and too overwhelmed when I try to "connect to the real world" I also develop headaches and there's been many times I've been in warehouse ceilings or bright lights and split an alter after and the headache seems to be worse when bright lights are involved
-Headaches from splitting! These are worse than ordinary headaches, I have other health issues that cause headaches, and splitting headaches feel nothing like a "normal" headache. These are way more intense and are still there after naps and even a full night's sleep. There's also more dissociation when I'm splitting.
-Having to keep your condition secret because people irl would use it against you somehow. I've been told I did things I didn't by someone irl who found out I have DID. I have to keep my disorder secret for fear of it being used to gaslight me or frame me.
-Flashbacks that don't feel real, make you think you're making it all up, or are so disorienting because they're so sudden and come with bad physical sensations. I have this a lot. And being triggered into those flashbacks easily. For me, just looking under a bed causes them, and I have other triggers I'm not gonna list here because they're too graphic.
Sorry if I added too much, I just figured I'd add most things I felt comfortable sharing about our experiences.
stormborns
izzy806
romaincrisis
origamiaround
turnnoffyourmind
snowghoul
dededos
