As a traumagenic system, feel free to jump off a bridge for us, it would help support the community a lot
On it, boss! 🫡
styofa doing anything

if i look back, i am lost
ojovivo
$LAYYYTER

izzy's playlists!
will byers stan first human second
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
NASA

roma★
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TVSTRANGERTHINGS

Origami Around
Show & Tell

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
noise dept.
Misplaced Lens Cap

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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
trying on a metaphor

seen from Netherlands
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seen from Iraq

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seen from United Arab Emirates

seen from United States
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seen from India

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seen from Italy
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@endogenic-cringe
As a traumagenic system, feel free to jump off a bridge for us, it would help support the community a lot
On it, boss! 🫡
Just learned about a new traumagenic-only anti-endo system tag :) #sysfreak
Endos are kind of like some guy showing up at a therapy circle and saying "I don't have trauma but sometimes I flinch at loud noises, and that's kind of like a trauma response, we have so much in common :)"
Agree with the concept, but I’d say it’s worse than that. At least flinching at loud noises is a negative reaction.
Endos want to access trauma spaces, trauma resources, support intended for traumatized systems, etc. and they don’t care that they don’t need it (assuming they are the ones who push that they don’t have trauma - I’m not referring to the ones who are confused and don’t push to be in spaces who just don’t remember any trauma). And then they want to play in those spaces like what they’re talking about isn’t serious.
Endos are the abled people at Walmart who play with the motorized wheelchairs and do races in the aisles with them.
Endos are the people who say that if service dogs can be in stores, their pet should be able to too, since loving them and having normal stress is “basically emotional support”
Endos are the non-sensory sensitive people who go into sensory safe rooms to play with the “toys” and loudly laugh and mess around and make the space louder than outside.
Endos are the kids who want a bandaid because they saw someone else with one, except in children that’s normal connection seeking behavior that comes from a lack of neurological ability to comprehend equity vs equality yet. It’s better to give them a bandaid but explain to them why they can’t have one every time another kid does so you’ll get some stickers that look like bandaids for them. That’s why I’m more understanding of “endo” kids. They need to learn better and deserve a kind explanation, just like kids doing any of the above. They need to be redirected.
But the problem is, most endos are or claim to be grown adults. When grown adults do any of the above (besides the bandaid) they get *kicked out of the space involved*. When they do it repeatedly, they get banned from that place entirely.
There’s a reason we don’t tolerate you, endos. You played in our spaces with our resources that are meant for those with serious disorders you say you don’t have. That’s unacceptable, and when you act that way you become unwelcome in that space. And that’s why we are responding the way we are right now.
Go to the massive rest of the place that belongs to you and leave. CDD. Systems. Alone. Literally go to the tags you made for yourselves and play there. Just fuck off of trauma spaces. The system community wasn’t built by you or for you. It was built by and for people with complex trauma you can’t even begin to comprehend if you don’t have any trauma.
I don’t care at this point if endos are or aren’t real despite the fact that science *clearly* says they aren’t; I care that they have no fucking respect for anyone else.
I'm reblogging this again because God it's such a perfect post, 10/10
have you and all your fat snotty faker friends killed yourselves yet?
Come and kill me then :3c
our "dad" (step-dad, raised us most our life, never knew he wasn't our real dad till we were an adult) triggered us by bringing up the guy who MADE US SPLIT IN THE FIRST PLACE (theoretically anyways, haven't figured that part out yet) at the dinner table so happy thanksgiving to y'all too
🫂
Hope everyone stuck w shitty family today is doing okay
What type of content is everyone interested in from this blog?
I reblogged an aesthetic photo of a butterfly from just a photo account and this endo system reblogged it and said "Hey, fun surprise! An icky ebil endo system that proships -- us -- took this photo, and I sure would hate for y'all to be breaking your own DNI by having this on your blog 😔Imagine that, there are endos and proshippers all over the place without you being able to tell. Scary! Who knows how many others you've accidentally reblogged from?"
Like gurl, it's not that deep, it was a photo of a fucking butterfly, and nothing on your page indicates you are either of those things. This is batty behavior fr.
Like genuinely endos want to act like they're not that bad and then they do wild shit like that.
Damn lmao 😭
a endo had interacted with me knowing I was anti endo, came out as endo, doesn't stop interacting with me, and than when I post reasons as too why I don't want endos following/interacting with me do they stop interacting.........
@mothco002
🫂
Hi hi! I don't know if I'm allowed to do this, so you can delete this if I'm not:
I've made another anti endo vent blog, because I noticed the others have really really full inboxes and due to endos harassing us I felt like it'd do me, my system and others good to have another place.
The blog is @sysvent-antiendo, feel free to visit if needed!
Thank you :]
-Kirill
^
You don’t always have to be the special one 😭😭😭
——————————
Image ID under the cut
What the actual fuck
Never thought I’d see the day where a tumbler post would actually make me sick to the stomach, TRANS DISABLED? WHAT THE FUCK. D.I.D isn’t something you want nor can you just give yourself it, this is literally sickening to see people harm themselves like this as well. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT MAKE YOURSELF DO THIS SHIT, you won’t end up with D.I.D but it’s one fast way to hurt yourself and throw yourself into danger.
oh yeah i did actually change my icon to include the systempunk flag >:D
theres the flag itself, for anyone else who would like to syspunk-ify their icons
this is the icon mask i used to make our icon look like that, i found the original on pintrest but it had too many nitpicky details so i had to edit it. if i could give credit to whoever made the mask i absolutely would but pintrest does not often credit creators :(
but there you go, if anyone else wants to do the same to their icons those are the tools i used i encourage you all to add the syspunk flag to your icons and banners
-Linkoln
FORGOT TO CREDIT @/SHATTERED-SYS AS THE FLAGMAKER FOR THE SYSPUNK FLAG IN MY ICON. PLEASE GO SUPPORT SHATTERED-SYS
-Linkoln
Since @/nightowltribe has been spreading lots of ableism in the systempunk tag, I made this! (Free to use)
ID: a box with a black border containing the systempunk pride flag and the text "this user doesn't believe in endogenic systems OR narcissistic abuse"
Flag made by @/shattered-system
Just saw a post saying anti-endos were just hosts that hate their systems and see them as parasites
Hi! I hate endos! I am NOT host of this system! I love all my headmates regardless of their role because they all help us! Our host Theo loves us! He is very friendly and we all work together in our daily life! The only time we refer eachother as “parasites” is when we are making jokes. All my headmates are important to this system and they deserve love and respect!
How I feel about our system and my headmates has absolutely nothing to do with my disliking for endos. I dislike endos because they are ableist, misguide actual systems into believing their trauma wasn’t enough, and making it harder for me, as an actual system, to be accepted by those surrounding me.
Endos have done nothing but make my life harder and harass me. my headmates help me and care for me
Hope this helps!
(PRO)ENDOS DNI WITH THIS POST. If I get any endos interacting with me it will literally only prove my point further 😭 I do not have the energy to argue
Things our system has that people would treat us like a monster/horror trope over:
- Not only alters with low empathy, alters with no empathy at all
- Alters with extreme anger issues that break our things and litter our body with cuts and bruises
- Alters with extreme suicidal and/or homicidal urges
- Alters who try to reenact our past traumas
- Alters who cannot recognize our own apartment or partner and try to run away (without keys or our phone or even shoes, not recognizing those objects as ours)
- Periods of dissociation so intense we cannot move no matter how serious the consequences
- Periods of dissociation so intense we become dizzy and uncoordinated
- Periods of dissociation so intense our depth perception fails
- Periods of dissociation so intense we have trouble feeling physical sensations
- Dissociation so heavy we become pale and in danger of passing out
- Amnesia to the point it hampers any social life we try to have
This disorder is a traumatic one. Feel free to add on with your experiences.
- BLACKOUT amnesia. We wake up with absolutely no memory at all and we never can get it triggered or “jumpstart” it back. It’s just gone.
- a lack of perception of time. We struggle with morning, day, night, and even what day, month, or year it is.
- rapidly revolving interests. One minute we’re apathetic to something the next we’re obsessed and so on. This can apply to people and relationships too.
- a demonic alter who is extremely defensive, territorial, and aggressive.
Probably more but I’m in the middle of a lake rn and can’t think.
We share some of those experiences above, so I'll add which ones I experience and add my own that haven't been listed.
- Alters with low empathy and no empathy (not many of those)
- Alters with extreme anger issues (they rarely ever break our things but they do harm the body a lot)
- Alters with extreme suicidal and homicidal urges (and the worst part is, I can't tell which alter these come from, all I know is it's from one or more of the hidden alters.)
-Alters that tell me to or make me feel like reenacting past trauma, sometimes they do reenact it themselves
-I have seconds where I can't move or do anything when I'm heavily dissociated. I hope I never have it last into long periods. Adding to this, I feel overstimulated and disconnected from the world during the paralysis from dissociation.
-We only have seconds where we're dizzy and uncoordinated from dissociation. We get... confused and don't know what to do next or forget what we're supposed to do and get uncoordinated.
-We already have bad depth perception and really bad environmental perception anyway, especially with where sounds are coming from. If we're too detached from the environment we'll have trouble with all of that.
-Most of the time, we are numb physically. We can feel but ignore physical sensations, or completely have no physical sensations at all.
- We only feel like passing out from dissociation when we're derealized but yes, we have this sometimes.
-Most of our amnesia is blackout amnesia, and the worst part is I don't even notice it until I find something I did but don't even remember doing. My consciousness doesn't even feel like it cuts out or going to sleep, I have a sense of continuous consciousness, but the events I think happened really didn't. I remember nothing correctly at all and nothing at all during amnesic switches.
-A lack of perception of time. For us, it feels like time is longer than it really is and like days mishmash into each other. We can't remember who did what on what day and get it wrong when we try to remember. And we feel like things that happened today happened yesterday and if we take a nap that fucks up our perception of time especially with memories.
-Rapidly revolving interests and care about people. Growing up this was my main struggle and is why I called myself having an "identity crisis" at 13 (didn't know what DID was yet tho) i had several different set phases id go thru that got "triggered" by seeing/hearing something from those phases and none of them really felt like "me" and i feel uncomfortable and not in control of myself during all of them. id also care about and wanna be friends with some people then a week or so later not care as much just to wanna be their friends and care about them again (mostly w toxic ppl)
-A persecutor who is also an internal handler, they have no or a masked internal appearance, they don't have a name or won't share it, nothing is known about them except they torture us every second we don't fall into the beliefs we were programmed to have or our abusers have. They tell me to kill myself and cut myself or other self harm, and hate the alters I love.
-Little to no internal communication most of the time. Having to call out "mentally loudly" to most alters to get them to respond. Then it's not clear or feels simulated which makes me feel like I'm faking and delusional.
-Mostly fragments who have little to no identity, never front, might not even be able to control the body, they're just... there and useless. The only thing they do is make more identity issues and probably other dissociation by existing.
-Most of the time, I don't hear from alters without me instigating communication and I rarely switch especially amensic switching. Its just me, being spacey and having to mentally yell at myself to pull myself together and struggle to do so, unable to feel most emotions except heavy negative ones, getting stuck daydreaming or just in general not fully "there" I don't even see myself outside my body that much (besides memories) or derealize that much, dp and dr are episodic and last a week or a little longer. I don't dissociate stereotypically, so I feel like I don't dissociate at all or even have DID or trauma. I have to be constantly reassured what I experience is dissociation, but that's bc people online exaggerate and act like they dissociate worse than they really do or like you can't have did unless you depersonalize and or derealize all the time when that's literally just depersonalization derealization disorder.
- Feeling like an imposter to everything. I don't even feel like I really feel my feelings and like I secretly feel something else, like I am pretending to be human, like I am simulating trauma and my alters, etc. Which the more I feel like I'm simulating things the more I get dpdr triggered.
-I can't even go into any place with a warehouse ceiling (home depot for example) or extremely bright lights without getting so overstimulated and disconnected from my environment I get disoriented. I get noticeably spaced out. I have worse memory issues. If any alters are co fronting, they forget who they are or get blurry. I feel sweaty, like passing out, and too overwhelmed when I try to "connect to the real world" I also develop headaches and there's been many times I've been in warehouse ceilings or bright lights and split an alter after and the headache seems to be worse when bright lights are involved
-Headaches from splitting! These are worse than ordinary headaches, I have other health issues that cause headaches, and splitting headaches feel nothing like a "normal" headache. These are way more intense and are still there after naps and even a full night's sleep. There's also more dissociation when I'm splitting.
-Having to keep your condition secret because people irl would use it against you somehow. I've been told I did things I didn't by someone irl who found out I have DID. I have to keep my disorder secret for fear of it being used to gaslight me or frame me.
-Flashbacks that don't feel real, make you think you're making it all up, or are so disorienting because they're so sudden and come with bad physical sensations. I have this a lot. And being triggered into those flashbacks easily. For me, just looking under a bed causes them, and I have other triggers I'm not gonna list here because they're too graphic.
Sorry if I added too much, I just figured I'd add most things I felt comfortable sharing about our experiences.
I am so sorry for not adding onto this, I just have a question, and you don’t have to answer at all if you’d isn’t want to, but blackout amnesia can feel like that? I always thought it had to have that cut feel or like falling asleep, I had no idea it could feel like you didn’t blackout. I’m not sure if I do or not have complete blackouts, but seeing that it could be possible I just don’t realize it, I think I might due to all my memory blanks where there’s just… nothing. But I rarely ever have that cut or sleep feeling. I just.. come back? At some point? I’m not sure-
anyways, I just wanted to ask cus this is a big reason I often have denial about it (especially bc others in our system often have blackout amnesia) ah, sorry for rambling-
Blackouts aren’t all like skipping cutscenes.
Because DID is supposed to be a covert disorder. It doesn’t want you to know you have it. That’s why you forget how much you forgot. That’s why it tries to hide those blanks.
The more we work on ourselves the more we realize we can’t remember.