emerald

I made a tumblr because I am full of gloriously stupid thoughts and need somewhere to validate them

[badjokesbyjeff]

“Do not touch”

Must be the scariest thing to read in Braille.

[enemmies]

no wonder Nick Fury’s in charge of intergalactic comms and shield, he was a councilman in Star Wars. COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT.

[eroticfriendfictions]

How old are you?

[ksszns]

[r4cs0]

Me and the boys on our way to respect women

[skidspace]

Love me a man that can shoot himself ass first through a suspended hoop

[enemmies]

I think what hurts the most about breakups is the prospective memories you were going to make together; that restaurant you can’t wait to try again, that bar you said was your new favorite, all the hiking trips you bought boots for, the tent you were eager to sleep in together, the music festivals you had plans to attend— gone. To make solemn new memories at alone until you forget why you were sad in the first place and find someone new to piece together the void that is now your romantic life.

[thottiehardy-deactivated2023111]

Parallels: Three Girls and a Little Wharfy // World Wharf II: The Wharfening (or How Bob Saves/Destroys the Town Part II)

[r10t3r]

[enemmies]

okay, can I just say: I hate this trend of tweens/teens painting random shit on everything they own for tik-tok views.

[sakura-haruka]

Not to mention the pincers.

[enemmies]

more vintage Christmas goodness

[enemmies]

walkin in a winter wonderland

enjoy my vintage shelfies 🥰

[enemmies]

your touch was a tenderness

I had never seen

even though your hands

were rough

[badjokesbyjeff]

Doctor: “Sir, I’m afraid your DNA is backwards”

Me: “And?”

[helenamayhathaway]

watching 38 episodes of bobs burgers in a row is self care

[badjokesbyjeff]

What’s the fastest liquid on Earth?

Milk. It’s pasteurized before you see it.

[badjokesbyjeff]

What’s ET short for?

So he can fit in the spaceship

[badjokesbyjeff]

Never challenge death to a pillow fight

unless you’re ready to face the reaper cushions