The World Through Sharky's Eyes

[enter-sharkeyea]

The Creation of Life...

I find myself looking in awe and amazement at the little creatures I've been gifted. Thinking of the significance that two separate human bodies had in creating them. The woman's body bore much more pain and labor than man's, but (in our case), the man bore a significant amount of emotional pain and mental strain.

And still, day to day, the Mother endures endless physical and emotional labor. Lifting, carrying, pulling, pushing. Cooking, cleaning, nursing, nurturing. Teaching, guiding, playing, crying. Remembering.

Oh, the remembering.

If you found yourself gifted to a Mother who did not or could not bear these labors and, as a result, it deeply wounded you - I am so, so sorry. You deserved a Mother who loved you enough to endure the daily suffering. Because love is suffering.

And if you found yourself gifted to a Mother who carried these sorrows and pains in order to flourish love from your blossoms, then take a moment to remember her, cherish her, thank her, wherever she is.

[enter-sharkeyea]

• Enter Sharky

My original plan for my first post after introducing myself was going to be my opinions on how we live in a world that is not a simulation, but that we wish was a simulation.

Stick a pin in that, though. I have plenty to say about that.

Last night, however, something that I'm assuming is going to be fundamentally groundbreaking for me happened.

See, long before Sharky rounded off all the sharp edges on the teeth that come in a shark's mouth, I was... well, I was born true to a family of sharks.

And while they're not inherently born evil, they're not exactly portrayed as the puppies of the sea. You know, Jaws, and pretty much every other shark movie, ever.

Anyway. We'll call this sharp part of Sharky The Tooth.

• Enter The Tooth

Angry. Vengeful. Reserved and reclusive. Antisocial in the purest form of the word - don't talk to me, don't even look at me or I might bite. For years and years, The Tooth was a key component of Sharky's personality. It was a protective part. At the time, a necessary part.

For a long time, even.

I can spin stories about The Tooth all day and night, but I won't. The point of the post is to explain this to you: The Tooth was caged. The Tooth wasn't happy about being caged. Who would be? They wanted to be free, to wreak havoc and rein hell down on all who had done then even a sliver of wrong.

But another part of Sharky (we'll introduce them a different time) kept The Tooth in this cage for their own, and everyone else's, protection.

It was well into my adult years when The Tooth, slowly but surely, accompanied by this other part of Sharky, and some outside influences, was able to be let out of the cage without destruction becoming the aftermath.

One day, the cage was unlocked, and it remained unlocked.

And another day still, the cage started growing dust.

The Tooth, sharp edges and all, was free. Ambling about the rest of the world, learning happiness. Learning peace. Becoming better.

• Exit The Tooth

Last night, there was a collective decision to put The Tooth back in their cage.

Lately I haven't been managing my negative emotions as well as I used to when I began my healing journey. They become intense. Unbearable. Devastating.

It's been decided to put off the intensity back onto The Tooth. But with this decision means that they can't continue to thrive.

This has been done consensually. To my knowledge, The Tooth is willing to take that role again. They've done it before. They'll do it again.

But, freedom came before. Freedom will come again. Right?

It may come tonight. It may come tomorrow. It may not come until my children have children.

But... I think we'll be okay. I don't know what the road ahead has in store for us or the Sharky family. I just know that I need to protect my mental health in order to protect the ones I love.

• Exit Sharky

[enter-sharkeyea]

• Enter Sharky

A young parent of two with long-forgotten dreams of being an author, an artist, a freedom fighter, a savior. Created to cater to the ones they love - whether or not they are loved in return. A people pleaser with a short fuse. Still trying to heal from extremist black-and-white thinking about everything and everyone.

• Welcome to Sharkeyea.

Shar-ky-uh.

A blog born of a typo. Originally, after thumbing through recommended names involving the word "sharky," I'd decided on typing out "enter-sharkeyes." Unfortunately, my thumbs aren't very coordinated and I rely a lot on autocorrect (which had trouble figuring out what "Sharkeyea" was supposed to be).

So, Sharkeyea is now the world in which Sharky resides.

This blog is going to be about many things. Life. Love. Politics. Video games. Art. Parenting. Poetry. Spirituality. Hell, maybe one day I'll have the time and motivation to put a drawing or two on the pseudonym.

I'm 26 years old. I live on a blossoming farm in the southeast area of the United States of America. For legal purposes, I am white. I am whatever gender you'd like to perceive me to be. I am a parent of two. I am married, sometimes happily, sometimes not.

At my core, I am a caretaker and a hard worker.

Sometimes, I am a vengeful, angry, rebellious teenager full of angst.

Sometimes, I'm an anxious, sad, tearful little child.

Sometimes, I'm in the prime of the years somewhere just before or after becoming a teenager, fun-loving and full of hope.

Sometimes, I am a spiritual being that understands far more than a mortal my age usually might. Celestial. Knowing, but not all-knowing. Humble. Lonely. Resigned, even.

Honestly, there's not going to be a pattern to which version of Sharky comes out in a post. I just hope that if anyone ever stumbled across these writings and takes the time to read them, that you enjoy them. Or feel something from them.

If my art made you feel nothing, then who or what would I be?

• Exit Sharky